Allusions
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: Allusions to past. "She fell out what she thought was love and into the depths of a searing passionate relationship that love was too weak a word for. She ruined everything for herself. She let him corrupt her. She let herself love him." Last chapter up!
1. Pilot

Pilot

**Boarding School**

_Do you know how it felt, calling your house when you didn't show at school, having your mom say: "Serena didn't tell you… that she moved to Connecticut?"_

Blair flopped down on her gargantuan bed. She sighed as she flipped open her phone and pressed the first number that came to mind. Serena wasn't answering her cell, but she must be home.

Someone picked up after eight infuriatingly long rings. But it wasn't Serena. It wouldn't be Serena anymore.

"Hello?" The voice sounded stressed.

"Hello, Mrs. Van der Woodsen," Blair greeted her best friend's mother.

"Oh, Blair, hi," was the response. Blair thought she detected something wrong with her tone, but didn't press it.

"Is Serena home? She hasn't been at school for a while."

"Oh, Serena didn't tell you?" came Lily's surprised voice. "Serena left Constance. She's going to a boarding school in Connecticut now."

Blair blanched. Serena was gone. She was gone and she didn't even tell her.

"Oh," was all Blair could muster.

"Listen," Lily's slightly strained voice came again. "Things are a little hectic over here at the moment, but you could call back later."

"No, that's fine." Blair pressed end on her phone. She really couldn't see a reason why she would call again. Her best friend had abandoned her. On top of that, Nate was more dull than usual. She was completely alone. The "friends" she had at school were just placeholders. She didn't have the real thing.

Blair passed her parent's room on the way down the marble staircase. She didn't notice her father's suitcase packed haphazardly on the bed. She just needed to get away. At least she had one friend she could turn to, now. Her best friend named Martini.

Blair didn't hear him approach. He was like a cat. A sleazy, narcissistic, womanizing, boozing, scheming, manipulative cat. But she should have felt his smirk across the room. That's what she saw when she turned. She must have been off her game that day.

"Well this is my lucky day," Chuck Bass drawled. Blair didn't know why Nate was friends with him. He came in handy when she wanted to dispatch certain Upper East Siders, but he and Nate were complete opposites.

She was certain that he lived vicariously though Chuck. If there was one thing she had to admit, Chuck knew how to party. But that really wasn't a difficult inference to make.

Blair wasn't in the mood to play the game they had developed today. She just cast him a look of disdain and returned to her drink. He ordered a scotch. Always the predictable one.

"What?" he asked with a sly grin. "No retort? And here I thought you wanted to play. Why else would you be in my hotel?"

"I'm not in the mood, Chuck," Blair snapped, a little more harshly than was intended. "And it's not your hotel until Bart gives it over, which, by the way, he would rather die than do."

"There it is," he said. "I've missed how you sweet talk me."

"Why?" she asked acidly. "You're endless stream of call girls not good enough anymore?"

"Why would I need call girls when I have you?" he husked. Blair didn't answer. She just finished off her martini.

"What's with you?" he asked, his interest peaked. "Did Nate forget your birthday, or something?"

"Not that it's any of your business," she spat, "but I am actually having a really bad day. So why don't you go hit on some unsuspecting freshman who doesn't know any better?"

"Because," he leaned in, "I love your reactions the best."

"As I'm sure you would love a kick to the shins," Blair muttered into her empty glass. She hadn't known Chuck motioned for another one until it arrived. She hated how he miraculously had the ability to read her. It was beyond strange.

"Not as sharp a wit as usual, Waldorf," Chuck mused.

"I guess getting abandoned it wreaking havoc on our badinage, Bass," she seethed. Chuck raised his distinguished eyebrows in surprise. Damnit. He always seemed to get out of her what she didn't want him to know so easily.

"What's this?" he asked. "Someone's been holding back."

"Like I said before," Blair was starting to slur. "It's none of your business."

"One more drink and it will be everyone's business." She hated him. He seemed to have Vulnerable Intoxicated Women Radar. He was such a skeeze.

"For someone who knows everything, you seem to be lacking in the headlines, today," Blair replied. She watched him stiffen in satisfaction. Even when she was buzzed, she still knew how to play him. he hated not knowing everything. He was the one who knew everything about everybody.

"What will it take to change that?" Chuck negotiated.

"Nothing," Blair exhaled in bitter laughter. "This is for free."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because with a few more drinks in me, I'll probably end up telling you anyway."

"What happened?" Chuck asked with a new found sense of sincerity. Blair studied him. She didn't like it when he got all caring all of a sudden. It made her apprehensive that she couldn't read him like she usually could. He was the most unpredictable when he was sweet.

"Serena moved to Connecticut without telling me," Blair confided. She didn't really care if Chuck used it against her. She would always get him back and he knew it. That's why he never played against her. The risks were too high. Instead, they were better when they worked together,

Blair looked back at him when she didn't hear a response. He was staring at his half empty glass. He almost looked… she didn't know. It was a first for him.

She didn't know why she kept staring. It must have been the drink. But for the first time, she noticed how good looking he was. Usually she just brushed him off because of how many women he bedded and how he blatantly hit on her. But know that she thought about it, he was really very gorgeous.

His angular face was such a contrast to Nate's soft one. He had high cheek bones and smoldering, slanting eyes. His sharp angles made him all the more dangerous. And all the more appealing.

His exotic eyes finally looked up into hers. She was still trying to figure out his expression.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. Chuck paused for a second and she realized what he was about to do too late. He put his hand on her thigh.

"Chuck," she reproached, but made no move to slap away his hand. Right now, his warm hand was the only thing that was grounding her. she also knew it was the only way Chuck knew how to be comforting. He wasn't making a pass at her. he was trying to make her feel better.

"Thanks," she finished. She thought she saw a flicker of kindness flash across his darkly appealing features, but it was gone as soon as it came.

"Don't push it," she warned. He smirked and ordered another drink for himself.

He said that Nate wouldn't be pleased if he found out that she had gotten drunk at The Palace bar with Chuck watching the whole time. Blair knew better. She knew that Chuck was just trying to be… _sweet_ again.

Really, she knew Nate and her were drifting farther and farther apart. Nate wouldn't care what she was doing at the moment. He wouldn't care if she suddenly decided to give it up to Chuck in the back of his limo when he offered to give her a ride home.

The only reason Blair accepted the ride was because she just couldn't bear to be alone at the moment. Without Chuck, she wouldn't have been able to take it when her father broke the news that he was leaving New York to go to Paris to live with another man. She would never have been able to admit it, but when Chuck showed up at the bar to comfort her for the second time, she welcomed it. From then on, Chuck was the only one who really knew her.

**Night Swimming**

_Walking to school together, dancing on tables at _Bungalow_. And night swimming at your mom' s country house._

"No," Blair refused. Serena looked at her with her half drunken blue eyes pleasingly. Blair groaned inwardly to herself. She wished Serena couldn't get her to do anything she wanted. It was downright humiliating.

"It will be fun," Serena assured her as she pulled her towards the table. Blair scrunched her eyes shut, trying to clear her head. But before she realized it, she was on the table at _Bungalow 8_, dancing with her best friend Serena Van der Woodsen.

Blair was so caught up with what was happening she didn't see a certain dark haired devil pause his current ministrations and stare in awe at the performance. Dancing on tables wasn't that uncommon on the Upper East Side, but he had yet to see one Queen B partake in such activities.

He rose from the blonde twig that was hanging onto his every word and wove his way expertly through the crowd. He just leaned against the bar and rose his glass of scotch to the pair. They didn't see it, but he knew tonight would be very interesting, indeed.

"Serena, we have to go," Blair pulled her from the club.

"Why?" Serena asked as Blair tried to extricate the flavor of the hour from her.

"Because we told my mom that we were going to the house and if we don't… I don't know…. Actually go to the house, she might get suspicious." Serena groaned as the brisk night air rushed around them.

"Then can we go swimming?" Serena asked hopefully. Good God, she was actually trying to negotiate with Blair Waldorf.

"Serena, it's two in the morning," Blair chastised. Serena blinked her wide eyes again.

"Fine, fine," Blair laughed as they passed the idling limo on the street. Eleanor had already sent their stuff to the country house. All they had to do was show up. Much to their dismay, someone else had the exact same plans.

Serena did a perfect dive as Blair watched from the edge. She was always competing with the perfect Serena, always being second best. The problem was, Serena didn't even know it.

"Come on," Serena urged from the depths. Blair hesitated. She didn't know why, but she had this feeling that she should be wary of what she do next. She was never one for paranoia, but she had a familiar feeling wash over her. She didn't know what it was yet.

Nevertheless she complied with Serena and joined her in the water. She hadn't realized what that feeling was until a certain dark voice alerted them to his presence.

"Evening, ladies." Blair realized that it was the feeling of Chuck Bass. He sat down at the edge, stretching out his legs in a casual lounge.

Blair had completely forgotten that Nate was supposed to be coming. The Archibalds, Van der Woodsens, and Waldorfs were having a get together. Oh yeah, and the Basses. Sure, there were only two of them, but that was enough to feel that trademark smirk.

"Ew, what is he doing here?" Serena asked Blair in undertones.

"I don't know," Blair shrugged. "He's Nate's friend."

"You mean, you knew he was going to be here?" Serena asked.

"I forgot. What's the big deal?" Blair knew she should probably have a problem with the teenage playboy, but she just didn't. Maybe it was the fact that he was something that Serena didn't have a hold over.

She may be gorgeous, but Chuck got over that after many rebuffs on her part. He preferred Blair's sense of manipulation than Serena's talk of boys. That settled it. Chuck was staying.

"He's just such a sleaze. I don't know why you hang out with him," Serena said. Blair rolled her eyes. Her best friend, beautiful as she may be, could never understand what it was like to have the perfect partner in crime. He made life exciting. His perversion was a slight price to pay.

"Don't all rush to greet me," he drawled.

"Oh Bass, it's you," Blair said sweetly. "The aroma of cigarettes and scotch alerted me the floor of a Brooklyn bar. I thought even you had more class than that."

"Come, B," Serena said diplomatically. "Brooklyn isn't that bad." Blair cocked an eyebrow at her.

"You mean the constant poverty and all around low hygiene isn't that bad? You really have taught me something today." She heard Chuck laugh shortly from his distance. She couldn't really see him in the dark which made her apprehensive. She didn't like feeling out of control and that's exactly what she felt every time she was around him.

That's why she started swimming closer to the edge. Serena followed suit. Blair could tell she wasn't that enthusiastic about it.

"I knew you couldn't stay away for long." Blair could practically feel his smirk. "Especially after the night you've had."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Blair asked carefully. There was no way that when Chuck was with a girl he would pay attention to anything else. And she was certain that he was. What else would he be doing on a Friday night?

"I'm sure I wasn't the only one enjoying your little performance at _Bungalow_ tonight." Yes. He was definitely smirking.

"Really?" Blair asked. "I was certain you couldn't see anything with that stick monopolizing your view."

"Don't worry, Waldorf," he said confidently. "She could never take away the appeal that you have for me." Blair made a noise of disgust as she made her way out of the water.

She could see Chuck now. He had risen from his sitting position and was very close. All together, too close.

"Hands, Bass," Blair slapped away the electrifying touch that found her waist.

"I was just trying to find my way," he covered. "It's very dark out here, you know." Blair knew it was a line. This close she could see Chuck's arrogant facial features, even if they were a little dim.

"Come on, Serena," Blair snapped. She felt his warm breath (that still slightly smelled of alcohol) brush against the side of her face.

"You know, Waldorf," Chuck caught her arm with his temporarily. "There might come a day when you won't mind me touching you so much." Bair scoffed and shrugged him away.

"I'm sure," Blair said, waiting apprehensively as she heard Serena get out of the water as well. "How about the same day Bart actually allows you some freedom and trusts you with something important."

She heard him laugh again as she and Serena (dripping wet, she might add) made there way to the luminous house.

"I'm counting on it," Chuck shouted back, thinking back to that club that he had his eye on for a while. Maybe Bart would let him buy it.

But then again, maybe Blair was right. The minute Bart actually paid attention to him and poured millions of dollars of investment into something Chuck wanted was the minute Blair gave her virginity to him.


	2. The Wild Brunch

**A/N: **I usually won't do stories this long but The Wild Brunch was hard to do a flashback for because there weren't a lot of quotes for it. I chose this one and what turned out as a simple scene just blossomed into a whole story. In the future, I'll try not to have the scenes this long. I'm showing a little of what Chuck and Blair were like before Serena left so they might be a little cruel. But keep in mind that this is the womanizing Chuck and the monarchy of Blair, so they are a little harsh. But it's also showing how similar they are. I also added a character that this wouldn't be possible without. She is completely fictional, but I can totally picture this happening and it fits with the beginning quote. Please be nice. I'll try not to do this format again, but I might not have a choice sometimes because not every episode has a good segue to a flashback. If there was any confusion on the last chapter, the two different quotes were different times, so one was when Serena was still around and the other was after she left. Each quote is for a different time. I hope that ends any confusion. Next is Poison Ivy.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters all though I did invent Nicole Lambert.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Conquests**

_Chuck likes to brag about his conquests, not his victims._

Blair snapped her phone shut in anger. Who did he think he was? She looked around at her kingdom, seeing that it was seriously lacking. It was his entire fault. She looked right across the courtyard to where the Basstard in question was standing with his "friends." Or should she say dealers. Chuck's only true friend was Nate. These guys were just here to listen to Chuck's vulgar story.

Sure enough, from the hand gestures he was making, Blair could tell that Chuck was reliving last night. The same story that had been posted on Gossip Girl that very moment.

"Can you stop sighing? It's very distracting." Blair cast a look at her best friend. Serena laid her head against the cold stone wall, soothing her hangover. Blair realized she was holding in a breath that needed to be released. She eased it out in quiet frustration.

"What's with you, anyway?" Serena asked, finally opening her eyes. Blair trained her eyes to the small blonde with wide green eyes across the courtyard. Serena followed her eyes. Nicole Lambert stood among the other Girls of the Met Steps, flipping her hair flirtatiously at anyone who would notice.

"What do have against Nicole?" Blair tried to tune Serena out. She was plotting. She needed complete quiet.

"Blair." Blair exhaled and cast her penetrating, dark gaze back on the golden princess.

"She didn't even do anything to you."

"So?" Blair failed to see the complication.

"Then why do you want to hurt her?" Serena asked, trying to keep up over her pounding head ache.

"Who said anything about hurt?" Blair grinned wickedly as she rose to her feet and strode across the lawn paying no attention to the attentive smoldering eyes that followed her every move.

"What are you doing?" Chuck whirled around to meet the steely blue gaze of one Serena Van der Woodsen. She had followed his gaze to the form of a certain petite brunette.

"She certainly does put on a good show," he commented, unrepentant.

"Is it hard being such a pig?" Serena asked as though she were really interested.

"It's a gift," Chuck shrugged and walked off. He didn't like Blair's little blonde twin analyzing his every move.

It was bad enough that he had extremely lustful dreams about his best friend's girl. Her best friend didn't need to know either. And that's all they were. They were just dreams.

During his waking hours, he fully supported the fact that she was Nathaniel's girl friend and therefore, untouchable. And she damn well knew it. But only in the privacy of his own suite accompanied by his scotch would he think about her in ways that he wanted to make her his, if only for one night.

As he passed Nicole Lambert, he looked right through her. That should send a message. Usually he wouldn't have to. Usually he never saw them again. But on the occasion that he did, he had to make it perfectly clear that they were just toys to him. They were just toys to fill the void.

He didn't like how her empty green eyes bore into the side of his face. It didn't really matter, though. He only had eyes for one petite brunette. And he knew she was livid. She would get over it. He hoped.

***

"_What_ did you think you were doing?" she demanded. They were standing in the middle of the deserted hallway, now. It was their lunch and everyone else was in their classes. Not that was any different for Chuck. It wasn't like he went to class, anyway.

"An opportunity presented itself," he smirked, unrepentant.

"We had a _deal_, Bass," she snapped.

"And I haven't violated out terms, Waldorf," he said. Blair made a sound of aggravation in the back of her throat and stormed down the hallway. She couldn't deal with this right now. She had a little blonde to destroy.

"As much as I love those sounds your making," Chuck said in pursuit, "tell me exactly what I did wrong." Chuck got in front of her stopping her by thrusting his arm in front of her, palm against the row of lockers. She stopped abruptly, glaring into his exotic eyes.

"You _slept_ with her, Chuck," she scowled.

"Explain to me again how that's different than everything else I do?" he asked pleasantly.

"You broke the rules," she said sullenly.

"But I didn't," he shook his head. "The rules clearly state that you are allowed to enlist me to dispatch any of your minions who displease you…"

"But she didn't," Blair protested.

"There isn't anything that says sleeping with one of your minions when not dictated is against the rules," he said.

"It's an unwritten law, Bass," she said darkly. "It's under the Constance emblem in Latin: Under any costs, do not sleep with Chuck Bass."

"How do you say that in Latin?" Chuck asked joked. Blair rolled her eyes and pushed passed him. She had some scheming to do.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Blair," he said after her. Chuck didn't like how he actually cared about what Blair thought about him. But he couldn't understand why she was so interested, either. It was a mystery.

"Oh, don't despair," Blair spun to face him again. "Everything will be straightened out." She was smiling in that fake sweet way that she did. He knew something was coming.

"Should I be worried?" he asked slyly.

"You tell me," she said, mischievous smile in place. With that, she turned the corner and he was left alone. He hoped Nicole would take the same hint.

***

"Are you seriously still looking at that?" Serena was staring at her with a strange expression in her face. Blair ignored it as she tossed her phone haphazardly on her bed they were lounging on. She just shrugged.

"Can you really be surprised?" Serena asked. "I mean, he is Chuck Bass." Blairr rolled her eyes at his familiar catch phrase. It was embarassing.

"I'm not surprised," Blair protested. "I'm...offended."

"Offended?" Serena echoed.

"Yes," Blair countered. "The act of being insulted by a significant other party."

"I know what being offended is," Serena said. Whenever Blair wanted to avoid something, she turned the conversation on how Serena wasn't the brightest of people.

"Chuck's significant?" Serena suddenly asked.

"He has influence," Blair shrugged. "That's what I use him for."

"Is he aware of this?" Serena inquired. "I don't really see how using someone can be taken as a complement. And everyone knows Chuck prides himself in everything."

"He's aware," Blair laughed. Serena just Blair was gazing wistfully at her phone.

"It's just insulting!" Blair erupted. "You'd think he has no concern for me at all. It's inconsiderate." Serena rolled her eyes.

"You sound like a jealous girlfriend," she laughed. No response. She looked over to see Blair shooting her death glares.

"I'm sure he would be thrilled to hear that," Blair muttered.

"You know him better than I do," Serena stated plainly. This was true.

"It's not a problem," Blair mused casually. "Things will be fixed soon enough." She knew she was reeling Serena in. She couldn't resist.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that there will be one less slutty minion of the Upper East Side walking around," Blair smirked.

"Oh, Blair," Serena said reproachfully. "You can't persecute girls for who they sleep with." Blair knew that Serena's concern was misplaced. She was afraid because she had expoits that rivaled Nicole's. She needn't have worried. Blair would never go against Serena. The only thing that would drive her to that was if she had gone as far as sleeping with her boyfriend or something. But she was her best friend. She wouldn't do that.

"It's an unwritten law, Serena," Blair repeated sternly. "Everyone knows sleeping with Chuck Bass is social suicide. She has it coming." Serena swallowed her response. Blair was right. You just didn't involve yourself with the smarmy Chuck Bass. Even she wouldn't sleep with him. She just wondered how far Blair was going to take this.

***

Nicole Lambert slumped into the seat next to Blair. Blair suppressed her reflex to just take her down right now. She knew if she was going to do this right and thoroughly,she had to bide her time. But it looked like timing was everything. Because right at that moment, a golden opportunity presented itself.

Blair let her eyeline fall to the top of the stairs where Constance and St. Jude's hallways started. This was where gender didn't matter and everyone could socialize. That was what Chuck Bass was doing. She knew why those vultures were standing around him. They liked the story of how he degraded one of the Girls of the Met Steps for his own. Disgusting.

Blair snapped back to reality when she realized Nicole was staring at the same thing. But for different reasons, of course. Blair knew for a fact that Chuck didn't touch girls twice. That was why this would be fun.

Nicole felt Blair's penetrating gaze on the side of her face and looked down and blushed. Easy. Blair knew how much she would enjoy this, as much as it was just to secure her status. She wouldn't let some blonde ditz ruin her like this.

"What are you looking at?" Blair asked innocently.

"Nothing," Nicole said quickly.

"Because I happen to know what Chuck Bass is talking about up there, you know," she nodded towards the top of thesteps. "He just can't keep from talking about how much he enjoyed his time with you."

"Really?" Nicole asked hopefully. She was right. Easy. Blair shrugged.

"You should talk to him," Blair suggested.

"I don't think so," Nicole said uncertainly. Huh. She was smarter than she thought. That would make this victory all the more worth it.

"If you're sure," Blair said nonchalantly. "But I just couldn't help but notice how different he is, now. You could be the one to..." Blair gaged her rivals reaction. "Nevermind."

"What?" Nicole asked immediately. Blair help back a triumphant smirk.

"I was just thinking,you could be the one to tame the wild beast. You know Chuck's never really gone steady with anyone before. But I really think he likes you."

"You think so?" Nicole's eyes were full of hope. She would be crushed. Perfect.

"Go talk to him," Blair encouraged. Nicole cast a shy look at Chuck's indifferent and completely unaware expression. He was about to get the shock of his life.

"I think I will," Nicole said confidently. All the more better. She gathered her things and stood up.

"Thanks, B," she said gratefully. She turned to the steps. Blair's friendly smile vanished as soon as Nicole's back was turned. But she had to get a closer look. She silently rose and followed Nicole until she started up the stairs. Chuck had to know where this message was from. She made sure she stayed in his eyeline. He would see her soon enough.

Chuck was starting to get bored of his bragging. Usually he just bathed in his gloriousness for a day. But he had conquered a project of the Met steps. And for some reason, Blair's reactions fascinated him. He wondered why she acted that way which made him call more attention to himself than he usually did.

That's when the rug was pulled from underneath him. Nicole Lambert was striding purposefully towards him. Pathetic. He broke off from his vulgar comments and his companians looked down awkwardly. Everyone knew what was about to happen. Everyone but Nicole. It was obvious what she was here for. What was more obvious was Chuck's motto on women. Screw 'em and lose 'em. What made her think she was any different, Chuck couldn't fathom. He should have, but he didn't. He was too caught unawares.

"Hey, Chuck," she said. Chuck couldn't decipher her expression or tone. He just looked at her curiously. He was actually wondering where this was going to go. He didn't answer. This wasn't a surprise. Chuck always made others speak first.

"Um... okay," Nicole said, caught off gaurd by his indifference. Huh. She must have thought that she actually had a shot. Peculiar. "I was just wondering... maybe we could... you know..." She was losing steam quickly. Chuck could tell. It was quite amusing, actually. "Hang out some time."

"And why would we do that?" Chuck asked blatantly.

"Well... because..." she faltered. "We... what happened between us."

"What happened?" he asked to the snickers behind him. Her eyes didn't look so much hurt as confused. She cast a look behind her, down the stairs. Realization hit Chuck like a bolt of lightning.

There at the bottom of the stairs was one petite brunette that he still couldn't figure out. Now her past words made complete sense. That little vixen. He made up his mind. He should have been worried. He wasn't, though. He was pleased. He had caused as much of a problem to make Blair Waldorf pull something over on him. Perfect.

Nicole turned her big, dumb, green eyes on him. He drowned out her incesant talking and focused his eyes back on Blair. She raised a perfectly manicured hand and gave him a slight wave with a truimphant smirk across her ruby lips. Message received, Blair. This only seemed to provoke him. Really, she should have known.

Instead, Blair turned on her heel and disappeared around the stone corner. Chuck couldn't let this go. Ignoring the blonde who's name Chuck couldn't remember because he was trying to figure out where Blair had disappeared to, he pushed past her and descended down the stairs in pursuit. That was the last time he came in contact with What's-her-name and he couldn't care less. Something else had captivated him entirely.

She felt his warm and firm grasp close around her elbow as he spun her around to face him. His slanting eyes sparkled at her. Blair froze her face over in an emotionless mask. He couldn't know how much she was enjoying this.

"That was quite a performance," Chuck whispered. Blair always wondered why he did this. They were outside, not in a library. Maybe it was something about his tone that made her think he was speaking just for her. But she couldn't be sure. She would have to hear it again. Not that she ever would, or ever want to.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Blair responded. She had to remind herself that Chuck had betrayed her and she couldn't let that pass. She turned away from him to keep walking. She wasn't really sure where she was going but she knew he would follow her. He always did. She didn't really know what to think about that.

"Wait." He trapped her again, the same way he did before, against he lockers. Blair sighed indifferently and gazed at his face.

"What?" she asked. Chuck just shook his head, an admiring smile across his face. She had never seen that before. It was strange.

"Are we even now?" he asked.

"No," she said simply.

"Why not?" he demanded. It was amazing how he could go from seductive to commanding in no time.

"Because you're unrepentant. I don't know if I'll recover from this," she sighed melodramtically.

"I know you, Blair," he said with a knowing smile. "You've still have a few more moves. You'll recover. You always do."

"There you go with that unrepentance," she said, trying to escape Chuck's hold of her against the wall. He wouldn't let her.

"I'm not sorry because I know you need me," he said confidently.

"You take youself too seriously," she spat.

"No," he shook his head. "I just know my place. Like you know yours."

"Like she should have known hers," Blair said angrily.

"Who?" he asked. Blair rolled her eyes at his humor. Chuck smiled. "Am I forgiven?"

"No." She whirled around and went in the opposite direction. Chuck smirked.

"I'll see you out tonight," he called back to her. She irnored him. She hated how she couldn't be mad at Chuck for long. It was in her DNA or something. No matter how livid she was, or how mad she wanted to be at him, he always had some way of weasling his way out of it.

And seeing him out tonight was unavoidable. All four of them were always out together, no matter what. She didn't know what it was, but it was almost like they were family, no matter how bad things got.

One thing was for certain. She wasn't done with Nicole Lambert yet.

***

"Blair, don't do this."

"Don't do what?" she asked Serena.

"You know what." Sure enough, that destructive little bitch was heading straight towards her now. Or self destructive, depending how you looked at it. Because right now, she had just signed her death warrant.

"Don't do it," Serena warned again.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Blair said, looking straight ahead, not reaching her gaze.

"I can't watch this," Serena sighed. She picked up her belongings and left Blair alone with her minions on the steps. That was fine. Blair didn't need any distractions anyway. Or collateral damage.

"Hey, guys," Nicole said almost a little mournfully, about to take her seat on the steps. Blair cast a look backwards at the other girls. On cue, all of them rose at the same time, Blair in the front. Nicole stopped in her tracks.

"I don't think so," Blair said dangerously.

"What?" Nicole asked, obviously a little frightened.

"We don't accept sluts among our ranks of the elite," Blair informed blantantly. Nicole blanched.

"But..." Blair lead the girls past her before turning around, almost an after thought.

"Maybe you can still hang out with Chuck," Blair said mockingly. "He doesn't seem to mind the company of skanks."

Without even a backward glance, Blair lead the Girls of the Met Steps away. This time, she didn't stop the evil smirk that crossed her face.

She was about past the gate when a hand shot out and grabbed her elbow. The other girls hesitated for only about 1.5 seconds when they realized this conversation wasn't meant for them. And they didn't question their queen.

"I do love watching you work," Chuck drawled. Blair crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn't wanted to concede to Chuck yet. Maybe if he groveled a little more she would. But this was Chuck. She doubted it. "You sure know how to take care of her."

"No thanks to you," Blair snapped.

"Me?" Chuck smirked. "If it wasn't for me, she would still have a place here. You're lucky that I rejected her."

"Lucky?" Blair repeated angrily. "I will never be indebted to you."

"I'm not saying that you have to be," Chuck said. "But you can't deny that we don't work well together." Blair sighed and started walking, Chuck by her side. He was right, though. No one really knew each other as well as they did. Chuck took her silence as an affirmative.

"You won't do that _ever_ again. Are we clear?"

"As clear as the image of you in that little skirt," Chuck countered. Blair looked down at her uniform.

"Ugh."

"I'm only here to serve you, my queen." Chuck did a mock bow. He took her hand in his and kissed it before starting towards the St. Jude's entrance.

"I hate you," Blair warned after him. He turned and just flashed a sly smile.

"But you can't live without me," he reminded her before he went back inside. She hated admitting it to herself, but she desperately wished that weren't true.


	3. Poison Ivy

**A/N: **I haven't been rewatching the episodes for flashback options like I should have, so if anyone sees any that I might have missed, you can review it. This isn't as long as the other one, but it still has a more extensive plot than the Pilot chapter did. This is sort of a continuation from my pilot chapter when Chuck and Blair were at the bar. I noticed that Blair hadn't mentioned Chuck in her letter even though they were friends, so I decided that he should have some input anyway. Next is Bad News Blair and I think I have some good ideas from that one.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG or Blair would have kicked Nate out of her room when she had the chance.

**

* * *

****The Letter**

_What's that?_

_A letter. I wrote it to you when you were away at boarding school. I never sent it._

Blair stormed up the marble staircase, ignoring her mother's barbed comments. She threw herself on her bed, willing the tears not to fall onto her pillow. Her shoulders shook as she took in the day. It was official. Her life was perfectly ruined.

"Miss Blair." Blair couldn't look up at her maid who was, right now, the only friend she had. She couldn't bear to see the concern in the Polish woman's eyes.

"You going to be alright?" she asked hopefully. Blair sniffed, trying to wipe away her tears.

"Is my mother gone?" Blair asked instead.

"Yes, Miss Blair," Dorota said awkwardly. Blair knew what that meant. Eleanor was on her way to the plastic surgeon. She had already lost 15 pounds and now she was getting an eye lift. She supposed that's what happened when your husband left you for another man. Blair wouldn't know. But in an ironic twist of fate, she seemed to be sharing a love life with the mother who currently despised looking at her.

Nate was nowhere to be found. She had no one. Serena was gone for good. She was totally and completely alone. And apparently she wanted to keep it that way.

"Dorota, I'd like to be alone," Blair said self pityingly.

"Yes, Miss Blair." Dorota nodded ad retreated quietly.

Having your mother completely detest you because you remind her too much of her estranged husband is bad. Being completely alone is worse. Well, not completely alone. She knew she had someone if she really wanted it.

Chuck hadn't said that he would be there for her or anything, but he had definitely tried to comfort her. She thought she had hit rock bottom in that bar. She realized that this was exponentially worse.

Blair wasn't one creatively purging her feelings, but these were desperate times. She couldn't rely on Chuck. As much as he seemed to understand her, she was desperately afraid. She was afraid of rejection and what happened in that bar was merely a figment of her imagination.

Finding herself at her purple stationary just seemed like a last resort. But there were some things that she just couldn't resort to. Not yet, anyway. She could feel old habits creeping up on her and she wouldn't let herself bend to them.

She took out a pen and started to write. The whole time she thought that Serena would be glad to hear from her best friend. Finally someone to talk to who wasn't the paid help.

But that was just a mirage. By the time she was done, she knew that she would never send it. she knew that Serena would never respond. She knew that she had no one. But maybe no one was a good thing. Maybe she could forge something out of that.

Blair left the letter on her vanity when she was finished writing. She couldn't look at it right now. It was just proof that everything wasn't perfect and that her life was falling apart. And she couldn't have that.

She stared at her orange phone that lay next to the letter, mocking her. It was if it was telling her exactly what she should do, what she had known she should have done all along. She was just too afraid to.

Blair gingerly took up the phone and eased it open. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She felt like she was going down the path to destruction. So why did it feel so right?

Blair slowly punched in the numbers she seemed to know my heart, but didn't feel as though she should. She waited at the other end, almost hoping that no one would pick up. It would be equally embarrassing and rejecting if they weren't alone on the other line.

"_Hello_?" drawled a dark voice. Blair didn't know why her heart fluttered in relief. But maybe that was a good sign.

* * *

"Imagine my surprise when the Queen B actually wants to go bar hopping," slurred Chuck Bass. "With me, no less."

It was true. So what if she called him? It wasn't her fault she was being totally and utterly neglected.

"Imagine my surprise when you actually accepted," Blair downed her drink. She hadn't really looked him fully in the eye the whole night. She still felt awkward though he didn't seem to mind that he was with her. But if she did look at him, she would see that his eyes were appraising her strangely. Almost in admiration. Good thing she wasn't looking at him.

"It was a slow night," Chuck merely shrugged. This time Blair had to look at him. she had to see if he was playing with her. He looked completely serious. She didn't understand that.

"What? No hoes lined down the block for the pleasure of Chuck Bass?" There was a possibility that she was slightly drunk. That always seemed to happen when she was in his presence.

"Nate's being rather…" Chuck paused. "Dull minded." Chuck never had problems forming sentences like his best friend did. He just liked seeing Blair squirm.

"Dull minded?" Blair repeated. "Is that the new slang for high or something?" Chuck laughed openly at this. It struck Blair as odd. She never saw him this open when they were in public or during the day. She only saw him like this when they seemed to be drinking partners.

"Your best friend is physically absent for 'boarding school,' or whatever they're calling the drug train these days," he mused. Blair wasn't a stranger to Chuck's theories that Serena wasn't really at boarding school. "Mine is mentally absent."

"So that's why you agreed to come tonight?" Blair asked. "I'm your default?"

"As much as I'm yours," he pointed out.

"True," she agreed. Again, she missed his eyes taking her in. They were only ever this open with each other.

"So," Chuck said, taking another swig. "What brings you out tonight?"

"What do you mean?" Blair asked, swiveling in her stool.

"You know what I mean," Chuck stated. "You only call me when something is really bothering you and you need to drink your troubles away. I don't mind. Self medication works wonders. I was just wondering what it was."

"Do you have to know everything?" Blair asked exasperatedly. She knew that if she told Chuck the truth, she would be in far too deep. It meant that they would actually be… friends. And she didn't know if she was ready for that yet.

"No," Chuck disagreed. "I _do_ know everything." Blair had to laugh at this. Chuck had the most overpowering personality of someone she had ever met. He was completely unrepentant and arrogant. For some reason, she liked it.

"Then you'll know that I need several more drinks in me before I tell that story." Chuck smiled approvingly.

"You heard the lady," he nodded towards the bartender. The Palace was always compensating to Chuck Bass. It helped that his father owned the place, but he still was underage. So was Blair. But the bartender still served her up. Oh, being elite. It had so many possibilities.

"Nate really isn't talking to you?" Blair asked quietly. Chuck looked down at her. She was so lost. Nate was an idiot for making her this way. He knew she would do anything to make her relationship work with him.

If it were Chuck, he would use that to his advantage. He could get laid so easily if he were in that position. But he knew he would never do that to Blair. Blair was perfection in human form. He would never touch her. Well… not unless she asked him to.

To those doe eyes and commanding features, he was completely powerless and he knew it. In the future, that could pose somewhat of an inconvenience. For now, he would just drink up.

"Like I said," Chuck provided. "Nate is most of the time mentally incompetent. I would much rather carry a conversation with an equal." Blair didn't miss that hint.

"I'm sure you would much rather be getting laid, right now," Blair said skeptically.

"What makes you think that I don't merely enjoy your company?" Chuck asked.

"Because you're Chuck Bass," Blair laughed. Yes, she was definitely on her way to getting trashed. All with the help of Chuck Bass. Again.

"That may have some truth to it," Chuck admitted. "But you are Blair Waldorf. You're not like all the other disposable girls. You are an equal."

"I don't know if I should take that as a complement or not," Blair said thoughtfully. "Valued by Chuck Bass. Who knew the possibilities?"

"How about giving you a safe ride home?" he suggested. He didn't know what would have happened if she had come out here alone. He was glad he was just there so some creep wouldn't pick her up in her inebriated state.

"All right, Bass," she said warningly. "But if you try anything, I'm blowing my rape whistle." Chuck merely smiled amusedly at this and helped her from her chair, to the limo. But he was still going to find out what had happened. That, he was sure of.

* * *

Chuck had learned to ignore the death stares that Blair's polish maid always seemed to throw him. He had at first found her name from Blair in attempts to charm her into liking him. No. Dorota just thought he was a bad influence. He didn't know why he cared so much, but he and Blair had been spending more time together since her life spiraled out of control. Surprisingly, Blair was actually much better company than Nathaniel.

Chuck helped Blair into her room where he could hear distinct polish mutterings at him. Chuck never really cared what people thought of him, but it vexed him that the one time he had no unfavorable intentions towards a girl, he was thought the worst of. Irony, he supposed.

Chuck bit back an innuendo about Blair bringing him to her room as she collapsed onto the bed. He tried averting his eyes as her skirt rode slightly up her thighs where she fell.

He had to wonder why he cared so much about modesty. _Because she's Nate's_. Nate never showed her the affection of attention that she deserved. Again, Chuck didn't know why he cared so much. All that he knew was that she deserved better than that. At least when he was with a woman, he was attentive, no matter how short a time they were together.

"I always wondered when you'd give yourself to me, Waldorf." He abandoned his attempts at being modest. This was much more his style.

Blair didn't even bother opening her eyes when she spat out a retort. That woman had class, he had to admit.

"You'll keep wondering," she mumbled. He smirked. This ws the time he knew he should leave. He had gotten her home safely as he promised. He knew a good friend would leave. A good boyfriend's friend would leave. However, good was subjective. He liked the wild side.

Chuck had never been so innocently in some girl's room. Maybe that's why he ventured over to her vanity. He smirked, not even bothering to look back to see if Blair was watching him raid her personal belongings. He found when he looked at things that people owned, he got a sense of what they were really about. Apparently Blair was all about lip gloss, perfume, and jewelry.

But he knew her better. He knew the wild streak in her that no one ever saw. The streak that he could see and mirrored his own. And he just liked going through other people's things. He just had a natural born curiosity.

Chuck didn't see the stationary. It blended into the paint job. Maybe that's how it should have been. Maybe he shouldn't have been in here at all. Or maybe he was just in the right place at the right time.

Chuck closed the drawer and something fluttered to the ground. He hastily picked it up, not wanting to alert Blair to his actions. But Chuck being Chuck, he couldn't help but be invasive. He couldn't help but be curious. He couldn't help his need to know everything. So he did. He read it.

_Dear Serena, _

_My world is falling apart and you're the only one who would understand. _

_My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model. A male model. _

_I feel like screaming because I don't have anyone to talk to. _

_You're gone, my dad's gone, Nate's acting weird. _

_Where are you? Why don't you call? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? _

_You're supposed to be my best friend. I miss you so much. _

_Love, Blair._

Yes, that was definitely invasive. Chuck gingerly lay the paper back where he found it. He stared at Blair's peaceful form on her bed. So that was it. Indeed, her life really had been falling apart but no one was there to see it. He wanted desperately to tell her everything that happened at the Shepard Wedding. It wasn't fair to her. Nate didn't deserve her. Especially when he didn't realize what he had.

Chuck knew this was the time to leave. But like last time, he just couldn't. He should have known that something was deeply troubling her if she would go to lengths just to talk to him. But maybe he was what she needed. Maybe he could fix her. He wasn't about to uncover the inner psyche of his that wanted her to be okay. It was just a reality that when Chuck Bass wanted something, he got it. And right now, he wanted her to be okay.

He eased himself over to her side of the room. He perched himself on the edge of her bed. He never thought he would be here. Short of a family member dying, he really couldn't see he and Blair comforting each other on the edge of her sacred bed. But she needed to be comforted, even if she didn't know why he was doing it.

Chuck lay carefully back on her pillow, never looking away from her.

"What are you doing, Chuck?" Blair asked drowsily. "We've been through this. You can't have me."

Chuck smiled at her back. She was so... Blair. She had to know the effect she had on other people. (Namely, him.) It took him awhile to realize this. He had gotten over it around 13, but he still couldn't decide why she was the only woman who had ever held any sort of appeal over him, even if it was just the appeal of manipulation.

Of course Blair would assume that he wanted her in that way. She was Blair Waldorf. Everyone wanted her. Everyone but the one person who mattered. Of course she would assume that was the only thing that he wanted from her. Maybe that was true. But he knew she could get something from him, too. Maybe they could actually be... friends.

They had been friends before, but a unique type of friends. They plotted, schemed, and talked about people. It was quite superficial. But maybe he could make heal her. He didn't find that the most likely of possibilities, but when you knew something, you just knew it.

"Maybe not today, Waldorf," Chuck said slyly. He could practically feel her eyes roll. "I just..."

Chuck couldn't spit out the words. They were too... intimate. It was sort of humiliating. But he knew he had to do it. Blair was his new best friend and she wasn't going to get it from anyone else.

"What?" she asked, turning to face him.

"You can talk to me," he offered lamely. Her perfect brows knit in the confusion that her muddled brain provided.

"I _am_ talking to you."

Chuck sighed and leaned his head back farther. This was going to be more difficult than he had orginally anticipated.

"No. I meant..." He just had to say it. "You don't really have anyone else, Waldorf. I'm your only option." Blair made a noise of disgust in the back of her throat.

"Very sensitive, Bass," she tried to say as venomously as she could in her drunken stupor. But then there was silence. Normally she would have a few more biting remarks. Chuck knew that she was considering this. Even under the cold exteriors and indifferent looks, he was right. They sort of needed each other.

"My dad left us," she said finally, her voice broken. Chuck didn't say anything. He just listened. He learned more about Blair than he ever could have wished it. He learned more about Blair than anyone else did. It was then that he realized that he and the Ice Queen weren't different at all. And Blair learned that she understood him too.


	4. Bad News Blair

**A/N: **My fourth installment of my multi fic, obviously. I do like this one because it explains more about their characters, by going back to when they were younger. It shows how Chuck became Carter Baizen's arch nemesis and the development of Chuck's character. This might be a little out of character, mostly on Chuck's part. He's not as rebelious or such a drinker and substance abuser as we all love him and he usually is, but this is more how he gets deeper into that lifestyle. Logically, he must have become this way earlier in his life, but it just worked with the story to have it pan out this way. The quotes below are actually from two different instances. The first one is just introducing Carter Baizen and the second one is more centered and explains how they know him. I've loved the reviews, they make me want to continue this fic.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG or this might have actually happened.

**

* * *

**

**Joints, Clubs, and Carter Baizen**

_Who brought the Sasquatch?_

_Isn't that Carter Baizen? I haven't seen him since he was a senior and we were in the eighth grade._

_You're the guy who gave us out first joint. Snuck us into our first club._

"Are you ready for this?" asked the darkly mature voice.

"I've never been more ready in my life," Chuck grinned.

"Isn't that what you said about Georgina?" Nate remarked. Chuck ignored his best friend's comment. That psycho bitch was the last thing on his mind at the moment. Instead, he was focusing on something more pressing at the moment.

Carter Baizen held out the slender joint in Central Park. Chuck took it immediately, though vaguely aware of his blonde counter part's hesitation

"Here we go," Carter smiled manically as he held out his Zippo. Chuck did as he was instructed. He took a huge hit, holding it in his lungs for as long as he could. (Which wasn't that long.)

Chuck's lungs felt like they were on fire, though he couldn't help but find the taste and smell of the drug delicious.

"Archibald?" Carter pressed. Nate stretched out his shaking hand and took his hesitantly. "Just inhale," advised Carter.

"I don't feel anything," Chuck remarked. Carter snapped his lighter shut.

"No, you won't," he said. "You won't feel the effects until you do it again."

"Oh," Chuck said distractedly, looking across the park. Looking at something he shouldn't have been.

Chuck couldn't help but feel Nate relax at the news. Nate. Oh, crap.

"Maybe you should put that away, Nathaniel," Chuck advised lazily.

"Why?" Carter asked hastily, looking around for cops. They could easily buy their way out of any situation, but no rich parent wanted the news that their precious blue blooded child was arrested for possession on _Page Six_.

"Don't want the old ball and chain catching you," Chuck smirked. Nate's dull eyes snapped to attention like they did whenever she was mentioned. Nate swore as he tried to find a place to put his paraphernalia.

"Who?" Carter asked, casually holding out his hand when he realized there was no imminent danger.

Blair Waldorf could always tell when eyes were on her. That was because it happened so rarely. She was always in the company of her better half and no one seemed to notice.

Chuck could relate. He knew what it was like when everyone wondered why you weren't as perfect as your best friend. He wasn't an athlete or have the most flawless features ever. (Though he did have on good authority that he was "smoking.")

He drank his weight in alcohol and womanized his way through the Upper East Side at age 14. He could never hold his father's attention unless he was being reprimanded for his bad behavior. He and Blair were more alike than she thought.

Carter followed Chuck's gaze across the park. There, perfection and all, was Blair Waldorf.

"That's your girlfriend?" Carter asked. Chuck couldn't figure out his tone. It wasn't skepticism because Nate could have whoever he wanted. It was just disbelief in general that anyone could hold down a girlfriend. Chuck could relate. He couldn't imagine being so captivated by a woman that he would never be able to let her go.

Carter pocketed the joint easily, as though he had done this many times before. Chuck liked this guy. He was what he aspired to be. He was a rebel. He did what he wanted, who he wanted, when he wanted. He had no regard for other's as he scandalized his way through the Upper East Side.

"Oh, she's seen you, man. Better run now," Chuck joked. He didn't know why he did this. Whenever they were around other people, Chuck had the compulsion to point out how Nate and Blair were ill suited for each other. He always had to point out how Nate wasn't as interested as he used to be. He didn't know why, but Chuck just had a sense of people.

Sure enough, Blair's dark eyes had caught them. She was giving them a strange look. Chuck knew what it was. She suspected what they were doing but she didn't have any proof. Well, she would get some.

Blair crossed her arms petulantly across her chest, staring Nate down. Chuck knew what this was code for. _Get over here right now_.

Nate sighed and half jogged across the park to meet her. Carter and Chuck watched the show. Chuck could almost predict her exact words from the distance. It was obvious what the message was.

Blair was gripping Nate's jacket as though inspecting it. They were very close and it was obvious that she was reproaching him. She made melodramatic motions with her arms as Nate stared at the ground.

Finally the argument was over and Nate was on his way back. That girl was smarter than anyone gave her credit for.

"Nice girl." Chuck looked up at Carter. He wasn't really sure what that was supposed to mean.

* * *

The deep pounding of the club excited Chuck. He had been in bars before, but this was different entirely. He looked around at the strobes flashing across the dance floor and the wasted half clothed girls who dominated it.

"I don't know if I should be here," Nate said uncertainly. Chuck rolled his eyes. Nathanial had to stop letting some little brunette princess control his life. No matter how amusing it was to watch. "Blair wasn't too happy the last time we talked."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Carter said, coming up behind them.

"Yeah, who would Blair know in here anyway?" Chuck asked.

"No, that's not it," Carter contradicted. He was looking across the floor. Chuck's mind went blank at the sight of it. "Blair Waldorf wouldn't want to be a hypocrite."

"What?" Nate asked confusedly.

"Hypocrite: one who looks down on someone for something, but does the exact same thing," Chuck recited.

Nate's eyes scanned the bar until his girlfriend's presence became apparent. Chuck knew immediately that this wasn't Blair's idea. If it was, she would be looking directly at Nate, calculating his moves and what her next one would be. Carter Baizen got her here and Chuck had no idea how, or more importantly, why.

"She's cute," Carter remarked his handy work.

That's when Chuck realized the sick feeling he had first felt when Carter had laid eyes on Blair. No one recognizes a schemer like a fellow manipulator. Carter just wanted to watch this relationship crash and burn.

Chuck had the same sort of interest, but this was his best friend. He wouldn't do that to him, no matter how much it intrigued him. But Carter's sick eyes made him want to vomit.

"Aren't you a little _old_ for her?" Chuck asked blatantly.

"Chuck, come on," Nate protested.

"Yeah, Bass," Carter smirked. "I thought you knew how to cut loose." Chuck rolled his eyes and reached for his drink.

Nate had always been a lightweight. The only thing he could drink well was beer. But he wasn't even that good at that because he didn't practice. It was Chuck's motto that practice makes perfect. How else would he be the sex god that he was at 14 or drink decanters of single malt scotch?

The one thing that Chuck wasn't good at was protecting girls against smarmy older men. When Chuck found that Nate was seemingly to drown in his own lack of sobriety, Chuck knew he had to take him home. But he didn't want to have to choose between his best friend and his best friend's girl. Chuck could normally take care of Nate in his condition, but there was something more pressing at the moment.

Something as pressing as 17 year old Carter Baizen creeping his mature hand up 14 year old Blair Waldorf's pre high school skirt. Chuck didn't want to have to choose, but he did. He made a split decision that he shouldn't have. He shouldn't have cared about Blair Waldorf, but he just didn't like seeing her perfection being violated like that. It was disgusting.

As soon as Nate was deposited in the limo, Chuck made a break for it through the back door of the club. It paid off being an easy talker.

Chuck still wasn't entirely positive on why he hated Carter Baizen so much. Maybe it was because they were the same. Carter was probably what Chuck would end up as and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. Carter was who Chuck wanted to become until about 20 minutes ago. Most of all, it was how Carter got whatever he wanted without repercussions.

He got the untouchable Ice Queen and Nate didn't even lift a finger of protest. In fact, he had reprimanded his best friend instead. That just wasn't right. Maybe it clued him into the future, what it might hold, what the best friends might go through.

But Chuck wasn't a "pondering for the future" sort of person. If he was, maybe he would have seen his downfall sooner. Maybe he would have seen his destruction and savior in the form of Blair Waldorf. But he just didn't. Not yet.

"I'm sure the cops would love another statutory rape case on their hands," he spat at Carter. Blair looked up, startled. He could tell she was drunk. Or at the very least, tipsy. Carter had demeaned her and Chuck wouldn't let it pass.

"Relax, Bass," Carter rose to his feet, significantly taller than Chuck. Chuck knew for the rest of his life, he would hate this person. He hated him for deceiving a clueless Nate; he hated him because everyone loved him. He hated him because even Blair couldn't see what was lying underneath.

"Chuck, what are you doing?" Blair slurred.

"Yeah, Bass," Carter slung his arms around Blair's bare shoulders. "What's your problem?"

"Get. Your hands. Off her," Chuck uttered dangerously. He reached forward and wrenched Blair from Carter's intrusive embrace.

"What's with you, Bass?" Blair snapped. Chuck knew her. it wasn't that she was particularly fond of Carter's possession, she just didn't like that Chuck had power over her physically or told her what to do. Chuck may have had physical strength over her, but she knew they were well matched in mental vigor.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say you were jealous," Carter provoked him.

"It's a good thing you know better," Chuck retorted. "Like you know how fast I could get you kicked out of here."

"You mean, how an obvious minor could kick out an adult from a club he's frequently visited?" Carter asked skeptically.

"Your reputation is more than enough to implicate you. Not to mention that you were seen by practically the entire place feeling up a… minor," he smirked at the last word.

Carter glared at the younger rebel with seething eyes.

"Come on," Chuck abandoned his threats and pulled Blair out of the establishment. Once they were outside, she ripped her hand from his.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"Saving you," Chuck said, obviously.

"I don't need to be saved," Blair spat. "Why do you care anyway? You are not my boyfriend. What is wrong with you?" Chuck stared at her. What _was_ his problem? Why did he feel so strangely protective of her?

"Because I have to be in control of everything," he found himself saying, having no idea where it came from, completely lying to her. "Get in the limo," he commanded.

"You can't control everything, Chuck," she said with conviction.

"Maybe you should take your own advice, Waldorf," he said venomously. "Starting with Nathaniel." He didn't like making her cry, but sometimes it was necessary. He realized he only did this when he was pushing her away. What would she do if he actually told her that he wanted to protect her? She would surely throw it right back in his face. No, this was better. He could protect himself this way.

"You are such a jerk," she said angrily through tears. With that, she spun on her highly expensive heel and flew to the limo where she already knew Nate was waiting.

"I know," Chuck whispered to himself. If everyone hated him anyway, why not make it a reality? He knew many decanters of scotch lay in his future.


	5. Daredevil

**A/N**: This one is a little short, and sort of rushed, but I think it's good. Not sure when I'll be able to update again because for the next three weeks I'll be writing something different altogether.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own GG or we wouldn't have to wait until April 20th for the new episode. =(

**

* * *

**

**The Dare**

_It's only the most important night of the fall._

_The sleepover._

_I prefer "soirée." " Sleepover" is so sophomore year._

The wind from the open moon roof breezed through the moving vehicle. Blair didn't notice. She was so warm from the schnapps that she couldn't even feel it.

Kati took a hit from the joint and blew a ring of smoke. All the girls in the limo giggled while Blair just rolled her eyes. She knew where her underling had learned that move from. She had learned it two years before from the same person.

"100 says Serena flashes the NYU dorms in 20 minutes," Is laughed. Sure enough, Serena, the drunkest of them all, had her entire torso through the moon roof and was laughing with heavy intoxication.

"5 minutes and not a second more," Penelope countered. As if on cue, cat calls from the sidewalk erupted and Penelope held out her hand smugly. Is rolled her eyes and paid up.

Blair sighed. As much fun as she seemed to be having before, she was bored. Once again Serena was monopolizing the attention on _her_ birthday and she would have none of that.

"Girls," Blair announced. Immediately, all the attention did go to her. "How about we move the party to more… exciting endeavors?"

* * *

Blair, Serena, and her followers strode right past the velvet rope. The faceless people (or no body's) groaned in annoyance before they realized it was the Waldorf Party.

Serena had gained control of herself (thankfully.) Blair knew she looked 15 and she would need Serena's… expertise if they got carded. It wasn't likely, but not everyone was smart enough to know who she was.

The teenage Upper East Siders stared expectantly at the bouncer who had his arms crossed over his chest with intimidation.

Blair looked to her best friend, hope brewing in her eyes. Serena just burst into a fit of laughter and let her head fall to Blair's shoulder. Blair groaned. Of course her best friend would be incapacitated when she needed her the most.

"Don't worry, Landon. They're with me." Blair closed her eyes, silently praying it wasn't who that smarmy voice portended it was.

No such luck. Chuck Bass clapped the bouncer in the shoulder like they were old friends as he stepped aside to let them pass.

He had to be here. He had to act superior. She had to be the one who he helped. It seemed that was more and more. All of a sudden he was helping her with schemes and listening to her gossip. No matter how natural it seemed, it just wasn't right. It couldn't be.

He was the dark Chuck Bass and she was the pure Blair Waldorf. Friendships like theirs just didn't exist. It wasn't even a friendship. They were more like… vague acquaintances.

And she knew her… what she referred to as friends wouldn't accept Chuck as a "friend." Not with his reputation that would compromise their own.

The Girls of the Steps filed in apprehensively, visibly tensing up as they passed Chuck. Those STD rumors were bitches to the reputation. Not that Chuck cared. For his reputation, it almost helped.

Serena and Blair walked side by side at the back. They let the inferiors in front. The main reason was because Blair had predicted what Chuck was about to say next.

"Waldorf," Chuck greeted with his revolting syrupy tone. Serena kept walking, but had slowed considerably. Blair spared him a look of distain before she was about to pass him. His surprisingly gentle touch caught her arm. She ripped it from his grasp anyway as a reflex. Serena watched uneasily from the side. Chuck always made her sober up. She had to be on her guard when she was around him.

"I hope you know what this means," he husked smoothly in her ear. Blair knew that Serena couldn't hear what they were saying but the visual was enough to last a lifetime.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blair retorted. They always played this game. Chuck enjoyed teasing her as much as she hated to admit that she enjoyed their badinage.

"You know that you owe me now," Chuck said, his grip still on her arm.

"In no alternate universe will I ever relent anything to you," she quipped.

"When you decide to repay me, you know where I'll be," Chuck merely smirked. He pulled away and Blair saw Serena relax her stiff position. "Oh," he said, turning around to see her again. "And if you want a couple of suggestions, you know I'm ready." He didn't see her eye roll as he sauntered over towards the bar.

Blair exhaled, finding that she could breath easily now. She walked over towards Serena who was giving her an incredulous look. That was impressive, considering how intoxicated Serena must still be.

"Why did you do that?" Serena asked.

"Do what?" Blair questioned, letting Serena keep up with her as she trailed into the main room.

"You know how Chuck thinks," Serena reminded her. That was true. Blair was very aware of how similarly she and Chuck thought. She knew she was more intelligent on Chuck's motives and actions than Serena was. Probably even Nate, but that wasn't really surprising since the only time he really used his brain was to press the triangle or circle key on his controller. "He did us a favor and now he thinks you owe him something."

Blair really had to wonder at how Serena could think so logically when she was drunk when all Blair could articulate was a few slurs. But practice makes perfect, she supposed. And Serena had plenty of practice.

"I will never give Chuck Bass anything," Blair returned confidently. Serena dropped the subject but Blair knew it was far from over.

* * *

"Who's next?" Is asked excitedly. After she and Kati were dared to make out again, she was highly anticipating the chance to see someone else get wronged in such a manner.

"It's Blair's turn," Hazel said brightly. Blair knew that Hazel (not so secretly) despised her for everything that she had put her through when she was just a project. She shouldn't have felt so wrong, however. That's what all the projects went through.

"Fine," Blair said nonchalantly. It didn't matter what any of them dared her to do. She was a Waldorf. Hazel looked around the room for inspiration. Her gaze fell on something that Blair didn't bother to follow.

"I think maybe now's the time that you pay Chuck back for the favor he did for us," Hazel said suggestively.

"Clarify," Blair stated in a bored tone. But she could guess where this was heading.

"I dare you to make out with Chuck Bass," Hazel said confidently. Blair raised her eyebrows at the girl. That was it? At least she didn't have to let him get to second base or anything. That would be too cruel, even for Blair. Hazel saw Blair's uninterested expression and tried to up the ante. "For…" she mused. "30 seconds." Blair didn't respond for a moment.

"It's okay, B," Penelope responded condescendingly. "We're all allowed one refusal." Blair knew the game rules. She also knew that even if someone did back down, which they never did, they would be ridiculed endlessly and have their life made a living hell.

"Please," Blair said in her bored tone. "If you're sure that's it…"

"Make out with Chuck for 30 seconds," Hazel repeated with conviction.

"Done."

He was leaning casually against the bar, signature scotch in front of him. Blair knew this pose. He liked to think of it as his "entrapment" pose. He let the women come to him. Blair would scoff at it if she didn't see the irony of her having to be one of those women.

A twiggy blonde was already giving him the eye. That would never do. If Blair let that happen, she would never get to him. And then she would never live it down.

Blair strode purposefully towards Chuck, cutting off the blonde's path. She grabbed his face in her hands and pulled him right into her mouth. She never gave him time to react. He moaned into her with surprise.

Soon his lips were moving under hers so greedily that her breath was literally taken away from her. His mouth burned hers. She wasn't sure if that was because of the scotch that laced his tongue or the current of heat that transpired between them. Surely she wasn't the only one who felt it. But she was sure that was just the alcohol.

Chuck's fingers intertwined themselves through her hair, slightly pulling sweetly at her locks. When Blair inadvertently moaned, she realized that she had to be keep track of the time. It was a dare and as much as they wouldn't let her live it down if she declined, they certainly wouldn't let it go if she enjoyed it.

Blair slid her hands down his chest, attempting to signal him to stop. At exactly 30 seconds, she shoved away from him sharply, disentangling herself from him as she strode away without looking back.

She didn't see Chuck stare after her descending form in awe and admiration. He leaned back and took a pull from his drink, no longer captivated with ensnaring the other women of the bar. He watched her return to her friends and they all burst into gales of laughter, pointedly looking at him.

He wasn't completely dense. And he knew Blair. He knew Blair's "friends." He knew this game. It was her sleepover and they were playing Truth or Dare. It may have seemed juvenile, but games on the Upper East Side distinctly became something else.

Blair never looked back at him the whole night, but he could not seem to keep his gaze away from her. He even turned down an easy blonde just to stare at someone he could never dream of possessing.

* * *

"I knew it." Blair's dark, wide, doe eyes turned up to him as she was exiting. All the rest of the girls had already gotten back into the limo. Even Serena wasn't there to make sure Chuck stayed in line. It was only the two of them.

Blair crossed her arms over her chest expectantly, her superior eyes testing him.

"I know how I've always held a certain forbidden charm and attraction for you," he continued.

"Are you finished?" Blair asked sharply.

"When I said I had a few suggestions for you to thank me with, I had no idea that you would read my mind completely." Apparently not.

"It was a dare, Chuck," Blair said simply. "They were just looking for the simplest way to humiliate me and it they found it." Chuck ignored the jab. He knew exactly why they had dared her. They all thought Chuck was disgusting and smarmy, but he was actually very aware of the numbers of eyes that followed him wherever he went.

"Don't worry, Blair," his velvet voice grated. "I won't tell Nathaniel the secret passion you harbor for me."

"And you won't have to," Blair said brightly.

"Oh?" Chuck ventured.

"Yes," Blair said sweetly, leaning in as if to whisper a secret to him. Chuck complied. "Because there isn't one," she spat with defiance. With one satisfied look, she turned on her heel and went back to the limo.

"One day you'll be begging to touch me again," Chuck said after her.

"Yeah," Blair called back, "when Hell freezes over." And she was gone. But Chuck could never stop thinking about her after that.


	6. The Handmaiden's Tale

**A/N:** My first update in a while. I personally like the second part better, so be nice about the first part. Next update with be Victor, Victrola.

**Summary**:

"And why would I accept that?" Blair asked. "Chuck Bass doesn't give anything without expecting something else in return."

"Let's just say I would enjoy the pleasure of your company," he smirked. Blair did her best not to gag.

"I'm not sleeping with you," Blair said bluntly.

"And if it were that easy, it wouldn't be worth it," Chuck laughed.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG, but wayy amped about the Chair hand holding next week.

* * *

**Their Masks**

_Freshmen don't get to go to the masked ball. It's just tradition._

Blair looked at her reflection with satisfaction. Her mask glittered. She was so caught up in her magnificence she didn't notice the presence behind her.

"Are you ready?" The devil himself smirked behind his own mask. She couldn't revel in how dangerous this was about to become. She was actually enlisting his help. Things had just crossed over into a whole new territory.

They were scheming partners as of late but now something was different. Now they were actually forming an alliance, a friendship. But she knew she would completely deny it if that's what it came to. She coudln't tell Serena who had already made her opinions of him perfectly clear. But he understood her. There was no going back now.

**36 Hours Earlier**

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, Blair, you can't do that." Blair rolled her eyes at her best friend. This was ridiculous.

"I don't see a problem," Blair said casually.

"We're not allowed, Blair," Serena reproached.

"That's the point, S," Blair grinned mischievously. "What's the point of life if you can't live a little?"

"What is this coming from?" Serena asked with exasperation. "Where's the Blair who cares what other people think of her?"

"I'm glad to hear how you think I'm so dependable," Blair said defensively. "I'll be wearing a mask anyway, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is who you're hanging out with," Serena said without thinking. She wasn't really sure why she felt that way.

"You mean you?" Blair retorted. Serena rolled her eyes.

"You know who I mean."

"You mean my boyfriend?" Blair asked. Serena was right. She knew exactly where this conversation was headed, but she just didn't want to admit it.

"Getting closer," Serena responded. "I don't even know why you hang out with him. He's so gross. He hits on everything in his line of vision."

"Not everything," Blair corrected. "Just the rich female ones."

"B," Serena scolded. "You've been acting weird ever since you started hanging out with him."

"You mean in 7th grade when Nate and I actually started dating?" Blair asked, annoyed. "You hang out with him too. Why are you being such a hypocrite?"

"I'm not," Serena said. "He's just… changing you."

"Maybe you don't know who I really am," Blair snapped, storming away from Serena, leaving her alone in the middle of the courtyard. She didn't look back to even wonder if Serena actually knew what hypocrite meant.

"That was quite a scene." Blair froze at the smooth, husky voice. "Gossip Girl will be posting that for days." Blair turned slowly to face the angular face of her counterpart. "The two most popular freshmen in Constance having an all out cat fight. I wonder what it was about."

"Keep wondering," Blair retorted, spinning around to keep following her path. Unfortunately, Chuck knew when he was least wanted and kept up with her easily.

"So defensive," he remarked. "It must have been about yours truly." Blair hesitated slightly. How did he always know? She hated him for it.

"You're too egotistical for your own good," she spat, continuing her hurried walk.

"Well, well, Waldorf," he smirked. "An actual pause before a retort. I must have been right."

"You wish," she muttered, trying to shut him out.

"Serena just not wanting to social climb like you?" he asked in that dangerous whisper. She hated how he felt the need to get so close to her when he spoke to her. At times like these, she didn't have to wonder why Serena found him creepy. He sort of was. "Being the only freshman to sneak into the masked ball will successfully shoot you to the top. I wonder why she's so hesitant."

"Remind me why I tell you anything," Blair said, finally whirling to face him at the gate. Chuck's hair was slightly tousled as he kept up with her. Now they just stared each other down at the entrance of the school.

"Because I'm the only one who can match you scheme for scheme," he said, leaning in.

"Are you suggesting something?" Blair asked skeptically.

"You can save your dignity by not groveling," he said confidently. "Don't worry. I'm sure I can find some way to clear my schedule and be your date to the masked ball."

"And why would I accept that?" Blair asked. "Chuck Bass doesn't give anything without expecting something else in return."

"Let's just say I would enjoy the pleasure of your company," he smirked. Blair did her best not to gag.

"I'm not sleeping with you," Blair said bluntly.

"And if it were that easy, it wouldn't be worth it," Chuck laughed. Blair was slightly taken aback. She wasn't that used to hearing Chuck's true laugh, caused by her no less.

"I'm with Nate," Blair said uneasily. She really didn't want Chuck to get the wrong impression. She wasn't really in the mood for fending off come ons when a certain Basstard was inebriated.

Ironic, how only during those times did she feel truly beautiful. It was strange how Chuck's lewd comments seemed to be the only things that could make her laugh, be happier, or actually feel good about herself. And he seemed to know the exactly moments to do it, when she was at her lowest.

"Yes, I'm sure Mr. White Knight in Shining Armor or whatever would happily take chance of getting kicked off the lacrosse team," Chuck said snidely. He also knew how to pull her strings, make her do the things he wanted her to. Manipulation was so easy.

"You can't manipulate me that easily, Bass," Blair smiled. Or not. "Tell me what's in it for you and I will let you accompany me to the ball. In secret," she quickly added. She would never be caught dead with Chuck Bass in a social environment.

"That's what the mask is for," he reminded her. "You know the reason, Waldorf. You're the only slightly entertaining person around here anymore. With your desperate attempt to get attention and be perfect, every day is new."

"I never took you for a poet," Blair sneered.

"Don't fool yourself into thinking you're so above me," Chuck retorted. "You know we're not so different. You're the only person who takes as much pleasure as I do in seeing destruction. That's a reason. You're my perfect scheming partner."

"Fine," Blair sighed. She extended her hand. "Apparently we have an accord."

"Apparently." Chuck took her hand cordially to his lips and kissed it gently.

"And that's all the action you're going to get," she snatched her hand away.

"Of course," Chuck smiled lecherously. "Wouldn't want your precious Nathaniel to think you fancy his darkly handsome best friend."

"You wish I would even go near you," Blair lashed out.

"I don't have to wish it, Waldorf," he said, walking in the opposite direction. "I'll see you at seven." And with that, he was gone. Blair just had to figure out what that weird fluttering in her stomach was.

* * *

"You're seriously ditching me for some girl?" Nate asked incredulously. If he even knew what incredulously meant. Which he didn't.

"She isn't just any girl, Nathaniel," Chuck reprimanded, fixing his bow tie the next night. _She's your girlfriend_. But he couldn't very well tell Nate that, now could he? "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. One must take it when he has the chance."

It wasn't that he was planning on snaking away Nate's girl. He was loyal. And a gentleman. But that didn't mean that Nate had to be aware of this. Nate was a fragile human being and couldn't take such truths such as those. He didn't want his best friend's little brain to explode, now did he?

"What girl is that important for Chuck Bass to sneak into a masked ball for?" Nate asked. _A perfect one_.

"One that puts out," he settled on instead. He usually didn't deceive his best friend, but a little white lie wouldn't hurt. There was no way he was going to get a taste of the untouchable Blair Waldorf, but being able to dance with her for the entire night should be enough. For now.

He wasn't very sure why lately he had the urge to escort her around when Nate was unavailable, (which was often.)

He didn't know why he had to constantly berate her and hit on her overtly when he only did this when it was a sure thing that a girl would be in his bed by the end of the night. He wasn't sure why he didn't like it when she wasn't around, why she was the only girl he actually talked to, or why he derived such pleasure from merely plotting with her.

Lying to Nathaniel couldn't be a good sign either, but he wasn't about to bother himself with that now. He had a dance to attend.

* * *

"Are you ready?"

That look of pure evil beneath her mask was the only affirmation he needed.

"How did you get these?" Blair asked as they approached the building.

"Let's just say some easy juniors rather give these up than keep their underwear on," he said sleazily.

"Chuck, sometimes you really just have to edit your life when you talk to me," Blair said disgustedly.

"You asked," he smirked. They showed the illegal invitations and they were in. Luckily for them, Chuck was sleazy enough for them to pass as upperclassmen and Blair was scary enough.

"So what's the point in coming here if they can't even see your face?" Chuck questioned.

"You're the one who wanted to come in the first place," Blair responded.

"But wouldn't it make more sense for them to realize that you're a freshman which would include taking off the mask…?

"Chuck," Blair sighed. "I don't want to have to explain my complex way of thinking to you—" Chuck snorted "—But that's exactly what midnight is for. The masks come off—"

"And then we bolt," Chuck suggested.

"Well excuse me for not whoring myself out to the entire student body," Blair said acidly.

"Don't worry, Waldorf," Chuck smirked. "I'll protect you with my debauchery. It's not a problem."

"Ugh," Blair groaned. "I think we should start on that editing thing tonight." Chuck simply laughed at this as they entered the main room where the trendy music echoed loudly.

"Where do we start?" Chuck asked, surveying the room. Blair looked at him in admiration. She loved it when he got down to business. There was no scheming partner like Chuck Bass.

"It doesn't matter where we start, only where we end up," Blair said, looking at the crowd as well. "And by _we_, I obviously mean _me_."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be gaining status. You're just along for the ride," Blair shrugged.

"You were right before," he reminded her. "I don't give anything without expecting anything in return."

"Isn't the pleasure of my company enough?" she asked innocently.

"Not unless you're planning to put out," he shot back.

"Forget it," Blair rolled her eyes.

"It's simple, Waldorf," Chuck said lowly. "We both know you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. And you know we work the best together."

"What are you suggesting?" Blair asked blatantly.

"Just that you admit it. Admit that you actually love my company, no matter how your best friend seems to detest me."

"You _knew_ you were listening," Blair cursed herself at the fight she and Serena had that morning.

"Exactly," Chuck said triumphantly. He held his hand out simply. Blair deliberated for a moment. Having Chuck Bass officially on her side would be very beneficial. But she really wasn't sure what sort of blow hanging around Chuck Bass for good would cause her reputation. Maybe it was worth finding out.

"On one condition," Blair cautioned him. "You don't ditch me for one of your hoes at the end of the night."

"That's the point, isn't it?" Chuck asked rhetorically. "We look out for each other. We protect each other." Blair rolled her eyes at his sentiment. When she looked back at him, his sincerity had been replaced with his leer.

"Fine," Blair relented. She hesitantly took his hand and he led her to the dance floor.

Chuck pressed his hands subtly to her back. He really didn't feel like being accused of feeling up his best friend's girl tonight. Or any night, really. He only hit on Blair with that sort of vigor when he was sure it would be accepted as a joke and Nathaniel had no way of finding out.

He didn't know exactly what the thrill was when he dangerously put his hand on her bare thigh, but he knew he liked it. That was probably a bad thing, but whatever Chuck liked, he would partake in it. Many times. Many.

He felt Blair's gentle breath on his neck. He liked her height. She was sometimes reprimanded for her height, how someone so small could be so domineering. In both cases, he liked it.

She seemed to fit perfectly with him. And he loved the way she could bitch out an entire student body. But he liked that too. That also was probably a bad thing. However, the scent of her shampoo made that fact easy to forget.

"Thanks, Chuck," he heard her say quietly. He wanted to freeze the moment right there. Blair Waldorf _thanking_ him? this was too good to be true. He wasn't sure why, but it just was.

"For what?" he asked in the soft and husky voice that he knew made her nervous.

"For…" she tried to find the words. That was a first. "Seeing me. You're the only one who doesn't try to convince me to be a better person. You like me the way I am."

"That's true," he agreed, trying to hide his smirk. Blair actually appreciated him. this was definitely the start of something. Again, he wasn't sure what it was, but he was sure that he was going to like it. Immensely.

"You'll get there," Chuck assured her.

"Get where?" Blair hid a smile, faking innocence.

"When the masks come off, you know it will only be a matter of time before you become queen."

"Thanks, Chuck," she said again, gently. It was almost as if she were afraid anyone would hear her gratitude towards Chuck Bass. He didn't care.

"For you, anytime."

* * *

**Roofs and Tuxes**

_Good thing someone at the party wasn't as lecherous as you or you'd still be up on that roof. And no, I don't want to know what you had to do to get that tux._

"Hey, I'm stuck up here, bitch." Damn. Foiled again. Great job, Bass. Your unnaturally immense libido got you in trouble again.

He didn't even have his phone so he could call his only savior in situations such as these. Which, however unimagineable that might be, happened quite often. And no, it wasn't Nathaniel who always came to his aide. Ironically, it was the Virgin Queen who always bailed him out of his horrible schemes. He should have listened to her when she yelled at him not to go after that bitch and instead go after Nate. How was she always right? If he wasn't so freezing cold, he would totally be in submitting to her complete dominance. (Not something that he would ever say about another woman ever again.)

Apparently Blair was clairavoyent, not just smart. Damn bitch. And now he was stuck up here. But on the lighter side of things, at least she wouldn't have the opportunity to gloat until he was fully clothed. So he just continued pounding on the door until someone answered. He sort of wished they hadn't.

"Chuck Bass." Damnit. Again. He just nodded curtly towards Whats-her-name-again? who crossed her arms over her chest, not even bothering to try and remember her name. He really couldn't even remember what had seemed to appealing about her months ago. She was stick thin (bones and all, ew) and platinum blonde.

He didn't know what it was, but recently blondes just seemed to be completely turning him off. It might have had something to do with being rejected by two blondes in the same night while things got out of hand and he accidentally almost forced himself on them. But that didn't explain his preference for petite bruenttes. Whatever.

Chuck was about to press past Whatshername when she blocked his path. She was so skinny he was certain the breeze on this cold October night most certainly would blow her away, not to mention however not athletic he may not be, he probably could too. But he was freezing and was desperately in need of clothing.

"There are a problem?" he said in his most manageable nasty voice in this frigid weather.

"Yes," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. What the hell was her problem? "You never called me." Oh. That was probably it.

"Huh," was all Chuck said as he tried to pass her again. This didn't work too well, however, beacuse he had a certain rule that he would never touch a woman more than once. He did have standards. And apparently she was so unmemorable (that not only he couldn't even remember he name even though she went to his school) it was probably mediocre sex.

He never went with a girl more than once, but even if he was considering it, it would have to be pretty mind blowing. Like, mind numbing in the back of a limo or something. He had personally never experienced it (which was strange) but it sounded pretty appealing and was waiting to try it out.

"I gave you my number for a reason," she said in her valley girl voice. Wow. Real articulate. At least the girls he allowed his company with knew what the word "lecherous" meant. Because that was exactly what described him.

"I'm sure this conversation would go more successfully if one of us weren't freezing without any clothes on. Inside," he stressed. "Mainly me."

"It's always about you," she scowled. Um... yeah. Why wouldn't it be?

"Well I am the one who is wearing next to nothing," he retorted.

"Just like the last time we saw each other," she pointed out. This had to stop. Now.

"Let me pass and then we can maybe negotiate the possible existance of our next meeting." He was just trying to get inside now. He really didn't even know what he was saying.

"No," she said simply.

"No?" Chuck repeated angrily.

"I was expecting a phone call," she said petulantly. Chuck really had to refrain from rolling his eyes. He couldn't believe he had actually laid one of _these_. One of the most annoying and clingy people you could ever curse yourself with _acquainting_ yourself with. He should have seen this coming.

"Your point?" Chuck sneered.

"Give me your number and I'll let you inside," she smiled. This chick had to be joking. She was actually blackmailing him? What a bitch. She was so going down when he got back inside.

"No." He didn't negotiate with terrorists. And this fake blonde valley girl just made the cut. He could really use the assisstance of a certain Queen Bitch right now.

"Sorry," she said. "No deal."

"Something else." Maybe negotiating wasn't such a bad idea at this point before he got frostbite. And he was not liking that look on her face.

"A picture, then," she said. _Hell_ no. She could not seriously be wanting a picture of him in his wife beater.

"If you get me a change of clothes," he broke down. She obviously wanted it for blackmail reasons. Good thing Chuck Bass was never without a plan.

"Deal." If she wanted a hand shake, she had to be joking. He wasn't touching this piece of trash again. Chuck tried to pass her without any contact unsuccessfully. Psycho bitch.

* * *

Chuck was pulling on the black jacket over his white tank top when he saw a pair of mesmorizing dark eyes in the mirror. Whoa, where did that come from? It was just Blair.

"It's okay, Waldorf," he smirked, raking his fingers through his already messy hair. "I know your raw animal attraction for me will only increase with time." He couldn't help but tease her. Blair narrowed her eyes towards him. And to think that she actually liked his hair like that. Jerk. Not like she would ever tell him. What was wrong with her?

"Where were you?" she asked. He could already tell something was wrong. She had that fake tone to her voice she put on when she wanted people to think there was nothing wrong. He always knew. He knew everything. Not to mention she didn't have a witty comeback. That just wasn't right.

"The roof," he said as she walked up behind him. He closed his eyes minutely trying to block out the heat that radiated from her body. Dancing mixed with a ballroom filled with hormonal teenagers made even the Ice Queen melt. Before she could ask he added, "what's with you?" Like he couldn't already tell.

"Nothing," she said hastily. Chuck crossed his arms over his semi-bare chest as he turned to face her for the first time. He didn't know why, but it made him feel awkward that this was the most naked he had ever been in front of her. Whatshername couldn't even find him shoes. Blair seemed to somehow miraculously read his mind at this exact moment and looked down. A smirk showed for the first time that night.

"You would coordinate your sock color to your suit," she rolled her eyes. She eyed his new tux. "Which happens to be missing," she said, straightening his jacket as though a reflex. He batted her away.

"I'm not your Ken doll," he said in annoyance. "Unlike Nathaniel."

"Whatever," she snapped a little too angstily. Oh. He got it.

"He didn't find you, did he?" CHuck asked.

"Why do you care?" Blair said, spinning around out of the dressing room to the stairwell.

"Well Nathaniel is my best friend," Chuck said, keeping up with him. "And Nate not getting laid is me not getting laid. It hutrs."

"Hilarious," Blair retorted, stopping at the end of the stairs. "So what happened to your perfectly crafted costume?"

"My devil to your queen," he smirked, walking uncomfortably close to her. The best thing to ignore the question was to distract her.

"What are you doing?" Blair asked suspiciously. She was used to these come-ons, but she wasn't, however, accustomed to the sudden heat that flared through her when he did it that seemed to be occurring more and more lately. Weird.

"Waldorf," Chuck sighed. "I was just locked on the roof by some bitch in a yellow dress with a fan. You could say I am more than sexually frustrated." And for some reason Blair didn't stop him. "And Nathaniel doesn't seem like he'll be getting any tonight so I would be more than willing to accomidate you."

"You were locked on the roof?" Blair laughed. It was the only way she could think of to make him back off, no matter how much her adrenaline was surging. Chuck narrowed his exotic eyes at her and angrily brushed past her as she stiffled a snicker.

"Speaking of which," Chuck suddenly remembered, "I need your assisstance with something."

"If you say 'assisstance with something in my pants,' I might vomit," she retaliated.

"That wasn't the first thing on my mind," Chuck said in satisfaction, "but if you're offering..."

"I'm not, you perv," Blair said, disgusted that she actually thought of that.

"I was actually talking about revenge," he said. "Some bitch tried to blackmail me in not letting me get back inside."

"What do you need help with?" Blair asked. Anything to get her mind off Nate and how he obviously was disgusted with her.

"She may have obtained some..." Chuck chose his words carefully, "sensitive material concerning me. I need to strike first."

"'Sensitive material...'" Blair echoed.

"Photos," was all Chuck needed to say.

"Ew, say no more," Blair said, feeling nauseated.

"I know you're just visualizing what that could entail," Chuck said in pleasure, "but I in turn luckily document my conquests, so _I_ have sensitive material--"

"EW!" Blair cut him off. "You take pictures of girls you have sex with? That's a complete invasion of privacy!"

"In this case, I'm lucky I do or I wouldn't be able to destroy her," Chuck said unrepentant. He looked at her pointedly. "So can you suspend your female lib crap for a few minutes so you can help me with this?"

"Fine," Blair sighed. "But only because I feel sorry for you because she locked you on a roof."

"Oh, it wasn't her," Chuck shrugged. A lot of people had grudges against him. "I told you, it was that bitch from Chapin." Blair froze.

"You mean Jenny Humphrey?" she asked.

"What?" Chuck demanded. Blair sighed, taking out the diamond bracelet she had lifted off of the freshman, handing it to him.

"She snuck into the masked ball with this." She and Chuck started walking outside as Nate joined them. Blair pointedly ignored him, not that he noticed. "She's the one that locked you up on the roof, Bass."

Chuck trailed down the carpet that happened to match his socks outside next to Blair.

"Little Jenny Humphrey manages to get my pants off and have me not enjoy it," he said as he handed the bracelet back. "Quite the accomplishment."


	7. Victor, Victrola

**A/N:** Some of these quotes refering to the past are a bit of a stretch, but the last one isn't. I wasn't sure how convincing I was at writing Chuck, Blair, and Nate when they were really young and I hope I did them justice. They obviously couldn't be talking like they usually do and Chuck couldn't be sleeping around with everyone, but I did my best. Next is Seventeen Candles.

**Summary**: Chuck just shook his head. He was learning to pick his battles. She seemed like the type of girl to rip his head off. As much as that made Chuck curious, he was going to wait to push her further. This girl was going to be very entertaining. He could tell.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything.

**

* * *

**

**Gold Collection**

_You know I prefer the _Gold Collection_, but thank you._

"I can't believe you forgot," Chuck grumbled at his best friend.

"How was I supposed to know?" Nate snapped.

"Uh, I don't know," Chuck said sarcastically. "Maybe because you're her _boyfriend_. You should know when her birthday is." Nate just groaned as they strolled through Bendel's. When Nate had discovered his blunder, he immediately grabbed Chuck for in impromptu shopping spree. Chuck's words, not his. There was nothing about this trip that had anything to do with pleasure.

"Honestly, Nathaniel. Even _I_ knew what day it was."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Nate snapped.

"Because you're her boyfriend and boyfriends are supposed to know what day their girlfriend was born. Or so I'm told." Chuck attempted to hide a smirk. It was so amusing watching Nate and Blair's relationship self destruct. He wasn't really sure why Nate was still with her when he was so unhappy. Maybe it was because he didn't know any other way. But Chuck was confident there was only one type of person to take a girl like Blair Waldorf. He just wondered why Nate couldn't see that.

"Yeah, like you would know," Nate joked. Chuck rolled his eyes. He could always count on Archibald to keep his priorities straight in a crisis.

"So, what does she want," Chuck tried once again to keep his best friend on task.

"I don't know," Nate shrugged noncommittally.

"Seriously?" Chuck blanched. There was no doubt that he could probably wing this better than Nate. Who knew Blair better than her secret, evil other half? He watched Nate as he examined the pressed Armani suits. They weren't even in the right section.

Chuck ran his fingers distractedly through his hair. Since when did he care about Blair Waldorf and her stupid relationship? He didn't. But he knew if Nate screwed up he would be hearing about it for a while and that was something he didn't think that he could handle.

"Let's just go to the jewelers," Chuck said, pulling Nate along. "She must have put something on hold."

"Really?" Nate asked, astonished. "That would be perfect." Chuck just shook his head. Nate should be glad that Blair was the brains of that outfit.

"She puts pieces on hold every year, Nathaniel," Chuck reminded Nate. He rued the day he ever introduced Nate to his best friend Mary Jane. It really was wreaking havoc on his memory.

It also struck him as odd that Nate just shrugged his shoulders in agreement. Shouldn't the boyfriend know more about his girlfriend than his best friend? Surely that wasn't… appropriate. Shouldn't Nate be… jealous or something? Chuck had never really had experience with that phenomenon but he was sure that was how it worked.

"Listen," Chuck sighed. "Just go to the jewelers and ask for the pieces that Blair Waldorf put on hold." That shouldn't be too hard for the empty headed jock, should it? At times like these, Chuck wondered why he was ever friends with him. But it always turned out that Nate was actually a good guy with no agenda or ulterior motives. And a person like Chuck needed that.

"What are you going to do?" Nate asked.

"I'm going to see if they have anything potentially romantic that you can pretend to have found to give to Blair." Chuck was about to walk in the opposite direction when he head Nate's voice.

"Thanks, man. You're a really good friend." Really? But did good friends secretly fantasize about girlfriends that didn't belong to them? Chuck wasn't experienced in that field, either, but he was sure that wasn't right at all.

Chuck narrowed his eyes at the sickening display. Maybe Nate was right. Maybe all Blair needed was something shiny to keep her content. Chuck didn't like the sound of that, though. Blair was something altogether different. And even if Chuck's idea wasn't that original or creative, it still proved who knew her better. And that wasn't supposed to be him.

* * *

Chuck turned his back on the doting couple. Blair was showering Nate with kisses after her miraculously showed up with exactly what she wanted. Surprise, surprise. He wasn't a mind reader, he was just lucky Chuck Bass was his best friend. And that Blair was always prepared.

"I told you," Nate said confidently. Chuck didn't even spare him a standard eye roll. He didn't even respond.

"I told you she'd like the necklace better." Shows how much you know, Nathaniel.

"The point I was trying to make was just that it was more personal," Chuck finally retorted.

"But jewelry is so much better than just chocolate," Nate said. "And besides, isn't she always saying how she wants to lose weight?" Yes, Nathaniel, please point out how she wants to lose weight next time you talk to her.

"I guess we'll never know," Chuck relented quietly. Nate just shrugged. But Chuck couldn't help but let a small smirk grace his features.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Blair said uncertainly. It was weird when Chuck acted all gentlemanly. Sometimes he was just vulgar and crude. Then he pulled out a stop like this and actually got her something for her birthday. Weird.

"It wasn't anything," Chuck said casually. "I'm sure Nate got you something a lot more meaningful." Blair bit her lip. She really couldn't ignore the opportunity for presents. She extended her hand and took it gingerly like it might explode. You never know. He was Chuck Bass after all.

"Wow," Blair said as she peeled back the wrapping. "How did you know the _Gold Collection_ was my favorite?"

"I'm Chuck Bass," he said simply.

"Oh, right," Blair rolled her eyes, "how could I forget?"

"I don't know how you could," Chuck teased.

"Really," Blair said. "Thank you."

"Well it isn't some expensive necklace or anything," Chuck said awkwardly. It was strange, though slightly invigorating knowing that Blair Waldorf valued him, even if it was for just giving her things.

"I'm actually surprised Nate even made it to the store," Blair confided. "No matter how many times I hint at it, he never really seemed to grasp that I put pieces on hold for his benefit."

"I'm afraid Nathaniel isn't the most intellectual," Chuck said. "Bad move on your part, Waldorf, in retrospect."

"Your wit is mesmerizing," Blair said sarcastically. "And you're the one who's best friends with him."

"But I'm not the one who's sleeping with him," Chuck smirked. Blair looked down. She knew Chuck had meant it as a joke but some things still cut deep.

"I was just saying before," Blair said, trying to change the subject. "It doesn't take a genius to go to a store and pick up some pieces—"

"—or even a Nathaniel—"Chuck cut in.

"—But you actually knew something I liked," Blair said. "And I have to say, that's impressive."

"Come on, Waldorf," Chuck said, slightly offended, "give me some credit."

"Well I didn't think you held any talents besides bedding the elite of the Upper East Side," Blair laughed.

"Yes, well," Chuck sighed mockingly. "It turns out I was born to give you gifts. Who knew?"

"I certainly didn't," Blair said to herself.

**First Sight**

_I remember the first time I saw him. Maybe we were just little kids, but that's when I knew: that's the man I'm going to marry._

The royalty of the Upper East Side wasn't as spontaneous as they liked everyone to believe. Almost all relationships were arranged from birth. Waldorfs married Vanderbilts, Van der Woodsens married Archibalds, even though many were interchangeable.

The Basses were new money. No one really gave them a second thought. Until one certain little Bass slip into a certain meeting between the heiress to the Waldorf fortune and the heir to the Vanderbilt dynasty. Little did he know he would be meeting his two best friends.

Blair Waldorf may have seen Nathaniel Archibald first, but it was Chuck Bass who saw Blair Waldorf first. She was a picture of perfection. Perfectly coiffed with perfect curls and a perfectly pressed dress. And Nate wasn't even paying attention to her.

To Blair, Nate was the very prince she had been dreaming of her entire life. He was pure gold. His sparkling azure eyes light up his golden exterior even more. She couldn't look away.

Nate Archibald was bored. He was forced to meet with this incessant and shrill little girl and all he could do was think about the other things he could be doing and the golden princess who had recently met and couldn't stop thinking of.

Blair couldn't bring herself to glare at Nate like she would usually do with people who weren't paying her any attention. She adored him too much. Little did she know she actually was being paid attention to someone. Just the wrong someone.

"Hi." Blair's eyes snapped to Nate's greeting. He was supposed to be paying attention to her, yet this strange little boy with a patchwork scarf and a bow tie seemed to have taken it. She vowed to hate him forever.

The dark little boy just smirked around the corner.

"What are you doing here?" Blair snapped. She didn't recall having to share Nate with anyone.

"My father is doing business with yours," he said importantly. "You're Waldorf, right?"

Blair crossed her arms petulantly over her chest. Who did he think he was, addressing her in such a manner? That settled it. This boy was to become her arch nemesis.

"Blair, be nice," Nate pleaded before extending his arm as his mother taught him. "I'm Nathaniel Archibald, but everyone calls me Nate."

"Nathaniel," he nodded.

"You can call me Nate," Nate repeated. He just nodded, taking in the scenery. Blair couldn't comprehend how rude this boy was. He just waltzed in here like he owned the place. This was her house. Who was he, anyway?

"And you are?" Blair snapped. She didn't like him at all.

"I'm Chuck Bass," was his lecherous reply.

"_Chuck_?" Blair questioned.

"Blair," Nate reprimanded.

"Yeah, _Blair_," Chuck sneered. Blair fixed him with the coldest glare she could muster.

Harold Waldorf stepped out of his office, ruining her intimidation followed self importantly by Bart Bass.

"Nate, your mother is here to pick you up," Harold said. "Charles, your father and I have more business to attend to so you can play with Blair."

"What?" Blair asked, thunderstruck. Not only was her Nate being taken away but she actually had to spend time with this horrid boy.

"Bye, Blair," Nate said sullenly, sad that he had to be separated by this intriguing new boy. He had never heard of anyone facing down a Waldorf. He sort of wanted to stay. And he could already tell that he would be having more fun with Chuck than he would have with Blair.

"Bye, Chuck," Nate waved.

"Good bye, Nathaniel," Chuck said, confident that he had this captivating girl all to himself now and that he had also won over the perfect boy who seemed to grab her attention.

He had never met someone so interesting. Girls, for him, were usually boring. He was used to getting everything he wanted and yet here was this brunette little devil masquerading as an angel facing off with him. He had to pursue this.

"What?" Blair snapped, noticing Chuck staring at her again.

"Nothing," he smirked. "Just wondering why you're wasting your time when it's better spent with someone more your speed."

"What does that even mean?" Blair asked conceitedly.

"You just seem like you should spend your time with someone who's smarter," Chuck shrugged.

"Like you?" Blair asked with as much disdain as she learned from her mother while she was critiquing her assistants.

"Why are you hanging out with him, anyway?" Chuck asked.

"Because," Blair sighed in annoyance. "I'm going to marry him someday." Chuck couldn't stop a scoff from coming from his throat.

"What?" Blair asked uneasily. She felt uncomfortable when people questioned her life plans. Chuck just shook his head. He was learning to pick his battles. She seemed like the type of girl to rip his head off. As much as that made Chuck curious, he was going to wait to push her further. This girl was going to be very entertaining. He could tell.

"I like a girl who knows what she wants," Chuck leaned in, raising his eyebrows suggestively. He wasn't really sure what that meant, but it seemed like the right move to make at the time. It got a good reaction.

"You're heinous," Blair pushed him away.

"Do you even know what that means?" Chuck asked in amusement.

"_Yes_," Blair said hastily. She had heard her mother use it a couple times to unsavory characters and this Chuck person seemed like he fit that description.

Chuck just nodded. This girl was going to be very entertaining, indeed.


	8. Seventeen Candles

**A/N**: I know I already updated yesterday, but this was already written and I couldn't resist putting it up. Three stories in this one. I know there's a lot of inebriated Chuck-- like all three of them, but that's what came out.

**Summary**: Blair was so caught off guard by Chuck's vulnerable action that she stiffened momentarily. She leaned her head against the headboard, absentmindedly stroking his hair.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG. Suprise, suprise.

**

* * *

**

**Drunken Promises**

_I'll see you at your party tonight._

_You're officially uninvited._

_Never stopped me before._

"Well, well. If it isn't the paragon of perfection," came slurred speech, crashing into her ear. Damnit. How did he find her?

Blair whirled around the face the Devil himself. She wrinkled her nose at his appearance. His usual put together appearance was in complete disarray. His tie was askew with his shirt untucked and hair disheveled. She shook the thought away about how sexy he looked. Especially after the events that transpired hours before which was why she wasn't so pleased to see him.

"What are you doing here, Bass?" Blair sneered.

"Where is all of this hostility coming from?" Chuck asked innocently. She could smell the concentrated alcohol on his breath.

"You're drunk," Blair stated.

"Reminds you of a certain Queen B earlier today?" he smirked.

"I don't recall," Blair said simply, looking away.

"I find that hard to believe," Chuck said. "You crying all over me about your precious boyfriend—"

"Shut up," Blair snapped. She pushed him into a dark and abandoned room at the party.

"No we're getting somewhere," Chuck said seductively.

"Ew," Blair said disgustedly. "You wish."

"Considering you're the one who pushed me in here, I would say that _you_ wish." She could feel his smirk radiating off of him.

"You're not supposed to be here," Blair changed the subject, flicking on the light. Chuck turned his head away from the bright fluorescents. The picture of that almost made Blair want to take back what she said. She never really thought that Chuck Bass was one who had a heart but he looked so alone with his weakness for bright lights and his obvious inebriation.

"And whose fault is that?" he asked after he recovered. Blair rolled her eyes, averting her gaze from his. "Don't give me that, Waldorf," he said playfully. "I know it was you who had dear Nathaniel uninvited me from his birthday party. Only you could get the most loyal human being on the planet to uninvite his own best friend."

"For good reason," Blair retorted.

"Oh?" Chuck actually grinned. She knew he was probably playing out some little fantasy that he had concocted earlier that day. "Afraid that Nate will discover the secret feelings you've been harboring for his best friend?"

"Please," Blair scoffed. "You're not telling Nate _anything_ that happened today."

"See?" he asked triumphantly. "You don't want him to find out what happened all alone in your bathroom today."

"And neither do you," Blair said diplomatically. "You wouldn't want the entire Upper East Side to know that Chuck Bass has a heart."

"You're rambling, Waldorf," Chuck said offhandedly.

"And now who's regressing?" Blair smirked. "What would Nate think if he found out that his best friend was comforting his girlfriend all alone in her house? Especially one who's time is better well spent seducing the help?"

"I actually don't think he would care," Chuck said bluntly. "Wasn't it you who was crying over the fact that Nate doesn't pay attention to her like he used to, ever since the It Girl disappeared to Connecticut?" Blair didn't have a retort for that one. "That's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wish Nathaniel happy birthday."

"You won't," Blair threatened. Chuck paused in the middle of the Archibald Townhouse.

"And why do you think that is?" Chuck asked.

"Because you're wasted," Blair said logically. "Charm can only get you so farm Bass. What would they think if they saw a loaded heir traipsing through the halls?"

"They would know that I've just had a good day," Chuck replied.

"I'm not talking about your conquests, Casanova," Blair rolled her eyes. "You know the Archibalds only tolerate you so much already. You wouldn't want them to cut off your friendship off with Nate altogether, would you?"

"At least I'd still have you," he smirked wickedly. Damnit. She did not see this coming. She should have seen Chuck's move coming. Overconfidence was her weakness.

He had her cornered. He braced his palm on the wall next to her head, trapping her from escape.

"You're disgusting," Blair tried to say lightly. She didn't like how she was tingling all over. This was not supposed to be how she was reacting to someone who wasn't her boyfriend. Especially one who was infamous for using women and discarding them.

"I've heard the one already," Chuck husked into her ear.

"Nate would never forgive you if he found you trying to seduce his girlfriend."

"Oh, I wouldn't have to try," Chuck smarmed. "And I would think twice about that whole _girlfriend_ title. When was the last time he actually looked at you—"

"Shut up," Blair said, tears threatening to well up in her eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"But you do," Chuck said in that dark voice of his. "You know exactly what's happening between Nathaniel and you. You just won't admit it to yourself. Apparently, you'll only admit it when you're alone with yours truly."

"I hate you," Blair seethed.

"No," Chuck shook his head, "you don't. It just kills you that the only person who pays attention to you is the heinous best friend. The only person who actually understands you is me."

"Well I don't have to admit it," Blair snarled.

"Maybe not," Chuck leaned away, backing off. "But trust me when I say that this isn't over between us. You'll always come back to me because I'm the only one who gets you."

"And what does that say about you?" Blair asked, regaining her composure now that he wasn't so close that she could smell his natural musk. "The one person that you understand is the spoiled princess of the Upper East Side."

"It says that at least I have one friend that likes me for me," he said simply. "And at least I know that I have a soul mate."

"Oh," Blair said skeptically. "You and I are soul mates?"

"You'll see," Chuck said confidently. "You and I are twin schemers and you know it. And who knows? Maybe one day, Nate won't call you and it'll be the last time for you. I'll be there and you'll realize that you need to have me right there in the bedroom."

"You have an overactive imagination when you're drunk, Bass," Blair said, not even entertaining the idea.

"No," Chuck disagreed. "It's pretty overactive when I'm sober too." Chuck attempted to leave with a dramatic exit but his balance was off. Blair rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his waist, steadying him.

"It appears that I have precognitive tendencies," he smirked.

"Whatever," Blair replied leading him to the bed.

"I knew you had to have me," Chuck sighed.

"Shut up, Bass," Blair said, though trying to suppress a smile. He really was adorable when he was drunk. "Just don't try and go downstairs. I don't want to have to hold your hand when they put on the neck brace in the ambulance."

"Why?" Chuck asked. "I'd do it for you."

"I'm so sure," Blair said sarcastically.

"I don't need to go downstairs," Chuck shrugged. "I'm good right here with my queen by my side."

"Don't," Blair said warningly.

"Okay," Chuck relented. "We'll only have those moments of ours when your life is falling apart. I get it. But trust me when I say that tomorrow might be on of those days."

"And why would that be?" Blair asked curiously.

"Because you can't ignore the fact that I care more about you than your actually 'boyfriend' does."

"You're repeating yourself, Bass," Blair drawled.

"Just stating the obvious that you have to ignore."

"I'll stay with you tonight in your drunken stupor if you don't go downstairs," Blair offered, not really wanting to think about the truth of the situation.

"Taking care of me, Waldorf?" Chuck asked smugly. "I knew you always had a soft spot for me."

"Whatever," Blair said again. "Just don't tell Nate what's going on."

"You mean are passionate and fiery love affair?" Blair decided she would actually give into this one.

"Whatever you want, Bass."

**Butterflies**

_How do you think I feel? I haven't slept. I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach… fluttering._

Amazing. He had already used that word, though. Actually, he used that word right before the activity itself commenced. The only other word he could come up with was… _wow_. She was just… wow. And yet, amazing again. But the main emotion he was feeling was downright confusion. Nothing was making sense anymore. There was a part of him that didn't really want it to. But the Chuck Bass part of him just wanted to screw some more women to get this weird feeling away from him. The weird feeling that that started when she pulled away from him.

She smoothed that modest slip and exited his limo. She reached the door to her penthouse without even a glance back at him. She was gone. He did not like that at all.

He was Chuck Friggin Bass. She was supposed to be pining over him or something. Wasn't that how it was supposed to go? He would sleep with a woman, and then she'd beg to stay just a few more hours. Not happening. He was Chuck Bass after all. And yet, he felt a sort of let down when he watched her walk away. And maybe… longing? Not possible. He did her and now she hit the bricks.

So the first thing he did when he reached his suite was vomit in his bathroom. This definitely was not a good sign. Chuck clutched the porcelain bowl as he heaved all of the alcohol and insecurities out of his stomach. He groaned, leaning his head against it, trying to regain his composure.

He never got sick after he slept with a woman. What was this? This had to be the flu, right? Maybe he was just drunk. But he wasn't even that drunk. He had one glass of champagne and that was it.

Chuck laid back against the cold tile, suddenly realizing that he had left his jacket in the limo. He couldn't help but remember how her delicate fingers caressed his lapel as she stripped it from his body. Vixen.

Chuck trudged to his bed, stripping off his dress shirt for the second time that evening. He threw himself across the silk covers, praying that sleep would overtake him and he wouldn't have to figure out these stupid emotions that were swirling around in his brain. No such luck.

All he could keep thinking about was _her_. She was the most beautiful, the most delicate, the most bitchy, the most smart, the most entrancing. He shouldn't be here. He couldn't be here.

Nate's friendship meant everything to him. Nate was really the only family he had. Forget about Bart, Nate was always there for him. But then again, so was she. Nate always seemed to look down on him whenever he was out too late or drank to much, or that one time he vomited all over the interior of his limo. Bart was not pleased.

Blair never judged. She laughed with him over gossip, schemed with him, even helped him with that proposal for his father. He would never admit that she meant more to him than his relationship with Nate, but somehow, it seemed like that was how it was turning out to be. Insanity. He was not falling for his best friend's girl. Even if they weren't officially together anymore, he just couldn't do it.

But she was perfect. She was everything that he ever wanted. And he wasn't even sure if he wanted anything. He didn't want a committed relationship. He didn't _want_ a _girlfriend_. He didn't want to _be_ a _boyfriend_. He thought. But she made him _want_ to want those things. Bitch.

Damn, why wasn't sleep coming? He knew he had actually been up all night when the sun began to peek through the curtains. Had he actually spent his night buying a club, winning his father's trust, finding out that his best friend and his other best friend broken up, drank, leered, drank some more, dared, watched the paragon of perfection take the stage, take her into his limo, _deflower_ her, and think about her some more. Since when did Chuck Bass think about women and what their _relationship_ could mean? Blair Waldorf was something else altogether. She was the exception. And he was finally figuring out that he wanted her to be.

Chuck eased his weary body from the bed and lounged on the couch, flipping through the hundreds of channels on Paperview and Cinemax. That didn't do any good either.

And here was where the big decision was to be made. Was he really to pursue this? Was he really going to chase his best friend's perfect girlfriend? Only one answer came to mind. He was Chuck Bass. He would do what ever he wanted. And he _wanted_ her. More than anything he had ever wanted in his life.

He couldn't admit anything beyond that. He couldn't admit that he was actually falling for her. He had no idea what that felt like, so how would he know? He couldn't admit he felt anything more for her than just want. Even though he did. He wanted her. There it was. And he was going to get her. Decision made.

Chuck hastily threw on some carefully considered attire before calling the limo to pick him up. Yes, it was insanely early, but he was positive there was no way he was getting any sleep. Look what this bitch was doing to him already.

He slid into the back, sliding his sun glasses over his overly sensitive eyes due to lack of sleep as the early sun shone through. He was glad the windows were tinted. He didn't give the driver any necessary directions. They were just driving. Like they were the night before when Chuck didn't want to stop.

He didn't even know what he was looking for until he saw her. He felt like he was about to vomit again. What was that? It made him think it was an excited feeling, but his stomach was stirring at an alarming rate and he had no idea why.

Chuck being surprised would have been an understatement. There was the Blair Waldorf striding out of a church like she owned the place, sliding on her own sunglasses. They were so attuned to each other it wasn't even funny.

He told the driver to slow down to let her pass in front of them. She didn't even notice the conspicuous limo trailing next to her until he rolled down the window. He hoped it wasn't a sign.

Instead, he just smirked confidently at her, taking off his sunglasses.

"Well this is the last place I'd expect to find you."

**Phone Calls**

_I don't know where Nate is and he always calls me at midnight when it turns into my birthday._

Blair settled back on her bed waiting patiently for midnight. She wanted to be comfortable when Nate called with his yearly romantic gesture. It was sort of sad, really. This was the only thing Nate could remember to do. He forgot anniversaries, Valentine's Day. He even forgot where she put the jewelers on hold. This was the only thing she didn't have to constantly remind him of. It may not have been the healthiest relationship, but it was the only one she knew.

She should have known this euphoria wouldn't have lasted very long.

"Waldorf!" How the hell did he get in that drunk without waking the entire building? Blair sat up with a start looking at another drunken Bass steadying himself on the doorknob.

"You look ravishing, as always." She was about to answer with her usual retort when she realized she was wearing next to nothing. She as wearing a silk and practically see through cover over lingerie. It may have seemed impractical to wear lingerie when no one else was going to see it (Nate sure as hell wasn't going to) but she had to wear it somewhere. Oh, well. At least someone was appreciating it.

"Bass," Blair said in a reproachful voice, covering herself up.

"Don't bother," Chuck said, waving off Blair's attempts to be modest. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"What?" Blair shrieked. Chuck put a finger to his lips.

"Shh," he said mockingly. "You don't want to wake the whole building." Blair angrily stalked over to him, pulled him inside, shutting the door behind her.

"I knew you couldn't resist pulling me into your bedroom," He smirked drunkenly.

"Since when have you seen me like this before?" Blair demanded, getting back to the topic that required the most attention.

"You throw yourself so much at Nathaniel, you don't even bother to notice who's really looking," Chuck leered.

"You're nauseating," Blair retorted.

"That's a new one," he smirked wickedly. "I thought you were losing your touch."

"What are you doing here, Bass?" Blair asked gently as she helped Chuck rest on her bed. She would be getting hell for this in the morning when he realized he was actually in her bed, but she could overlook that.

"I know you missed me, Waldorf," Chuck sighed dramatically. "I wanted to make all of your wildest fantasies come true."

"Oh yeah," Blair said sarcastically. "That would make all of my birthday wishes come true."

"Ah yes," Chuck slurred. "The big party is tomorrow. Has Nathaniel picked you out anything nice at the jeweler's?" Blair didn't like how he was so perceptive in his inebriated state. Jerk.

"What are you doing here, Bass?" she just asked again.

"I never really thought that Bart cared whether or not I got wasted before tonight," Chuck said thoughtfully. "I guess he never really noticed before now."

"Are you alright?" Blair asked quietly.

"Only in the trouble of my own making," Chuck said sullenly.

"If it makes you feel any better, today was the annual anniversary of Eleanor telling me she wished that I was more like my best friend."

"I know how that goes," Chuck slurred.

"Really?" Blair asked.

"Sure," Chuck shrugged. "Except when Bart actually does take the time to notice, he not only compares me to Nathaniel, but everyone else on the face of the planet."

"That's why you're here?" Blair asked. Chuck propped himself on his elbow give her his heated stare. She wondered where all of this sexual tension came from all of a sudden.

"Why do you think I'm here?" he asked in a husky voice.

"That's why I asked you first," Blair relayed.

"Do you want me to leave?" Chuck asked, rising from his position. Blair caught him by the arm, knowing that if she hadn't, he most certainly would have fallen anyway.

"No," she said distantly. "I guess it's nice to talk to someone who knows what its like and doesn't have the perfect life."

"So that immediately excludes Nathaniel," Chuck picked up.

"You are oh so perceptive," Blair said dully.

"Don't worry, Waldorf," Chuck said, laying his head suddenly on her lap. "I would never forget to get you a present on your birthday." Blair was so caught off guard by Chuck's vulnerable action that she stiffened momentarily. She leaned her head against the headboard, absentmindedly stroking his hair.

"Well you don't have to come on to me," Chuck said snarkily.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to shove you off this bed right now," Blair warned. "Consider yourself privileged."

"Oh, I do," Chuck assured her. "Not even Nathaniel has had this privilege."

"That's none of your business," Blair retorted.

"And here I thought we were having ourselves a moment," Chuck sighed.

"Just because I'm taking pity on you doesn't mean you can take advantage."

"Don't worry about it," Chuck said slowly. "I know eventually you will give into your animalistic need to take me right here."

"We'll see about that."

"You can count on it."

It was officially 12:03. While she was comforting Chuck on how terrible his father was and sharing anecdotes on hers, she hadn't even noticed her phone vibrating, alerting her to an incoming call from Nate.


	9. Blair Waldorf Must Pie

**A/N**: I was going to have a few more allusions, but they seemed pretty redundant, so I just cut it down to three. Not only are their allusions to past that we haven't seen but also other things that will happen. It may turn out to be more like a deleted scene, but I just couldn't resist writing it. The last one just popped into my head and I had to submit it. I don't know if this will be a constant occurrence, but I'll do more like the last one. The next one is Hi, Society. These ones might be a little short, but in my defense, Chuck wasn't even in this episode, so I did my best. And everyone likes a good review *cough*.

**Summary**: Sure enough, there it was. The chariot of one Mr. Charles Bartholomew Bass. She would kill him.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG, but we're getting closer and closer to the dramatic conclusion of the 2nd season. Yay. (Chair.)

_

* * *

_

_Blair, I saw you with Chuck_

_I don't know what I was thinking. I mean sleeping with him once you understand, but twice?_

Blair had no idea what she was doing. Actually, that was a lie. She was perfectly aware of what she was doing... what she was about to do. Not to mention who. What she couldn't figure out was _why_.

Chuck Bass. That was confusion in of itself. Chuck _Bass_? He would be back from locking the door in a matter of moments. Before, it was just sweet. He was so gentle with her. He bought her a 35,000 dollar necklace. What was _that_ about? Since when did he show his soft(er) side. Not with anyone but her. That, she was sure of.

And suddenly he was there. His natural musk alone was making her lightheaded. She hated how his mere proximity and _smell_ made her feel things she had never felt before. Made her feel things she never dreamed of with Nate. Made her forget about Nate altogether.

The burning trail his mouth had left on her skin now felt cold. She didn't really want what her body was telling her, urging her. She wasn't supposed to fall for him. He was smarmy and disgusting. Serena especially wouldn't understand. Not that Blair would ever dream about admitting her dirty secret to anyone. It was one thing to enjoy the _company_ of one womanizing schemer. It was a wholly other thing to actually go around and _telling_ people about it. She wasn't socially suicidal.

He was hungry for her. She could feel it. She could feel it solely in his smoldering gaze. The gaze she desperately wanted to lose herself in. There was just something about him.

He wasn't Nate. That much was obvious. He wasn't sweet and and innocent. He was corrupt and passionate. There was just something about that attracted Blair to him so strongly that she wasn't sure how she ended up in his passionate embrace again. She wasn't sure how she ended up on her back, in a stranger's bedroom to her own party. The one that she was sure had started disasterously, but was escalating as time progressed.

So she let him. She let his hands explore her like he hadn't before (and she knew that was false.) She didn't understand what was so captivating about her. He used women and dropped them just as quickly. That was Chuck Bass. She wasn't perfect. Nate made her aware of that much. She wasn't anything. So why did he seem to desire her more than anything?

So she let him. She let him comfort her, make her feel beautiful. Because that was something strange about this whole thing. He made her feel like she was worth it. She could tell by a simple look that he nothing short of revered her. And he called her beautiful, something no one really did, ever.

So she let him. This time, for good. She let herself go. She let her nails dig into his back as he made her feel like she knew no one else ever could.

And even as she lay there, basking in the afterglow of something she was sure would occur again, she knew something was definite. There was no way she could ever tell anyone about how the most heinous being on the Upper East Side knew how to take care of her.

She would tell people that this was for revenge, that she had no idea what she was thinking. She would do this because no one else could ever truly understand that Chuck was beautiful too. No one could possibly understand that she neverwanted to stop feeling like this, that he had _butterflies_. And maybe that she was falling for him too.

* * *

_Did you call Daddy and say I didn't want to see him this Thanksgiving?_

_Of course not. What a ridiculous accusation_

_So you didn't tell him I was so angry at him for leaving that I didn't even want to see him? You had no right to uninvited him._

Pearls were the last thing on Blair's mind. Luckily for her, Dorota just went to get some, leaving her to her own devices. Her maid obviously knew something. As much as she hated to admit it, the maids on Park Avenue knew all the secrets. So she called her father like her devious maid suggested. She hated every minute of it. She hated how her father acted so innocent on the other end.

"I'm sorry," her father said sincerely. "I should have called you but I can't make it."

"Why?" Blair asked. "Is it Roman? He's your new family now?"

"What would make you say that?" Harold asked in surprise. "I thought you knew I wasn't coming."

"No..." Blair said. "Why would you think that? You didn't even call me."

"You were the one who didn't want me there," he said.

"_What_?" Blair asked in shock.

"You mother..." Harold stopped in mid sentence. "Your mother didn't tell you, did she? That I wasn't coming?"

"Why aren't you coming, Daddy?" Blair asked, fighting her tears from spilling.

"Your mother said that you were angry at me for leaving. She said _you_ didn't want me there."

"But it's our tradition." Blair hated how petulant her voice sounded.

"I know," Harold said sadly. "And I'm sorry."

"You're still not coming?" Blair asked suddenly.

"Well I can't just go over seas for a few hours," Harold said fairly. This time, Blair let her tears spill. "I promise I'll be there next time..."

Next time. The rest of the conversation was a blur. It sounded to her like she wouldn't see him until next Thanksgiving. This on top of her falling out with Serena was getting a little too much to bear. She wondered why her mind flashed to something not so long ago when she thought she could keep a secret. The one person who could make her feel wanted. The one person who actually knew her.

Speak of the Devil. Her phone vibrated. Blair wasn't sure if she should answer it. She didn't think she could talk to him when she was in this condition. Chuck hated vulnerablility. Especially when it pertained to himself, but with others as well. She did wonder if he would like her as much if he found how weak she was. Maybe it was just the masochistic side of her, but something made her answer. Something just made her want to hear his deadly voice again.

"Hello?" Her voice cracked from the tears. She hoped he didn't notice.

"Waldorf," his smarmy voice greeted arrogantly. "I knew you were just waiting by the phone all day on the off chance that I might call. Congratulations. Its your lucky day."

That was when Blair knew he would notice. For one, he was way too observant for his own good. But that wasn't the reason. In some ways, what he said was actually true. He was the only one who could cure her of her intolerable sadness. She wanted to hear his voice again. So she didn't retort. She didn't have one when what he said was true.

"Blair?" he asked. He wasn't used to the quiet side of her. The Blair Waldorf he knew (and still unacknowledgeably was infatuated with) always had a snappy retort ready. She was always prepared to castrate him. Today, something was different. Today, something was wrong.

"Yes," she articulated. "And I'm sure you have nothing better to do than call me from whatever escapades you're performing with the hotel room staff."

Chuck knew better. She was doing what he did. She masked herself with snide remarks meant to hurt. Fortunately, Chuck was an expert at the art of indifference.

"What happened?" Chuck asked immediately. Once again, she couldn't answer. She placed a manicured hand over her mouth, trying to muffle her break down. Once again, she was unsuccessful.

"Blair," he said warningly. He would make her tell him what happened. He would make her tell him who did this to her. "Tell me."

It was enough. It was enough for Blair Waldorf to break down even further and confide all the deepest thoughts (that he didn't already know, which weren't many,) and show her vulnerability. She was right about one thing. Chuck always had that talent of making her better. But Chuck didn't hate her because of her weakness. It almost worked in reverse. It made him want to take care of her even more. And it made him feel proud. Blair Waldorf was confiding in him. She trusted him and it made him want to be a person worthy of that trust.

* * *

_This is too much to handle on an empty stomach._

_Well, we're not going out back there._

_Well, can we leave here, then, please? Escape, I don't know, maybe eat?_

_That's why they call it a fire escape._

Blair couldn't believe this. She had sunk to new lows. Not only had she succumbed to being dragged to Brooklyn for a Humphrey family Thanksgiving dinner (which, to her relief that her family wasn't the only messed up one) was going terrible. So terrible in fact, that the two Humphreys, two van der Woodsens and herself were being forced to flee the scene. Through the window. She hoped she wasn't about to get shot.

"Come on, Blair," Serena urged, a little too superior. Blair wouldn't be surprised if Serena had escaped through a fire escape before. And wasn't it just hours ago that she had kicked her out of her own house for being judgemental about things that didn't even concern her? Humphrey was having a very poor influence on her. Blair didn't think a guy could ever change or manipulate her personality. But things on her guy status were changing drastically. Who knew what would happen in a few weeks?

Blair sighed in defeat and daintily stepped to the ladder. Below them, Dan, Jenny, and Eric waited impatiently.

"Blair, its just a fire escapte," Serena pointed out.

"Well sorry I'm not a master escape artist in low rent lofts," Blair spat. Serena just rolled her eyes and started downwards below her. Blair froze. She was certain... no, it couldn't be. He wouldn't _dare_. But then again, how many stretch limos do happen to see passing through the streets of Brooklyn? Sure enough, there it was. The chariot of one Mr. Charles Bartholomew Bass. She would kill him.

"Blair, what is it?" Serena asked. Blair realized she had stopped midstep.

"I think we should go back," Blair said, burning with humiliation. She would never be able to live this down.

"Go back into the house of horrors?" Serena asked.

"More like loft of horrors," Blair muttered.

"Anything would be better than going back inside," Serena reasoned. "Just come down." Blair groaned inwardly a sigh of frustration. Serena always found ways to ruin her life.

Reluctantly, Blair crawled down the metal ladder and joined the rest of them. They hailed a cab that took them directly to a (not surprisingly still) low rent restaurant, still in the bad part of town. Blair didn't miss the Chuck's black steed following them the whole way. Luckily she was with Serena. She loved her best friend, but the blonde was just not adverse in observation like Blair (and apparently that womanizer) was.

Blair exited the taxi last letting everyone trail in front of her. Serena reached the doors to the restaurant and looked back at her expectantly.

"I'll meet you in there," Blair said vaguely. Serena eyed her suspiciously. What was she going to do, regurgitate right in the middle of the street? "I just need to call my dad."

That seemed enough for Serena. It was a testy subject that she didn't want to get involved in. It helped the lie run that much more smoothly. Because that Chuck Basstard was fool enough to _still_ be tailing them. It wasn't as conspicuous as it was before, but they were still far from the Upper East Side. Could he be any more ostentatious? Wow. Judging from his wardrobe, probably, as he eased the black tinted window down in nonchalace.

"What are you _doing_?" Blair hissed as she approached the window.

"They're all inside, Waldorf," Chuck rolled his eyes. "They can't hear you. It doesn't really matter. Everyone can see you talking to me, anyway. Speaking of which, what was that highly acrobatic move down that dilapidated loft?"

"Shut up," Blair retorted, averting her eyes. "How did you even find me?" Blair suddenly realized. "Do you normally just go cruising around in Brooklyn?"

"Dorota told me you went with Serena," Chuck said unrepentantly. Blair didn't like how Chuck could just get a woman who _worked_ for Blair to spill all her secrets. Traitor. "She wasn't with you, so she was obviously with her concubine from Brooklyn. I couldn't believe it myself, but I figured it was worth it just to see you again."

"Charming," Blair stated at his not so subtle attempt at flatter and most likely (in his case) blatant come-ons.

"What are you even doing here?" Chuck asked, looking around in disgust. Blair set her jaw. She wasn't about to break down in front of Chuck (again) and say how after their phone call, her mother _still_ had the power to make her self esteem plummet.

"Who?" he asked. Ugh, was she really that transparent? How did he immediately spot that someone had upset her?

"I should get inside," Blair just shook her head. She turned to leave when she felt Chuck's warm and comforting hand wrap soothingly around her wrist. Huh. "Comforting" and "soothing" were two words she definitely never expected to use in reference to Chuck Bass.

"Wait," he said, trying to make her stay.

"I messed up," Blair just simply stated, about to pull away. "I guess I'm just weak. What an admirable quality to have."

"You're not," Chuck stressed as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Just..." Chuck looked around at the street and the people inside the restaurant. "Just, get in Blair."

She blinked. He wasn't doing this to get to her, trying to seduce her. It was like he actually cared.

"I can't," she said, though she wasn't exactly sure why.

"Let's get out of here," Chuck prodded. Blair tensed. She wanted desperately to get out of here and not come in contact with Serena forcing food down her throat, but she really didn't have an option on this one. Any second Serena could look outside and notice Blair talking to the person she said she slept with for revenge, which happened to be the farthest from the truth. What would she think she did it not as an ulterior motive, but because she actually _wanted_ to? Her reputation would be shot.

"I have to go," Blair said quietly, not able to look him in his blamed, beautiful, smoldering eyes. How dare he have such an effect on her?

"Blair." She ignored his tone. It sounded strangely like pleading and she wasn't ready to admit that Chuck was capable of having a heart. Maybe some day. She also ignored the fact that already she was preparing stay in this... whatever this was between them. Strange.

"Later," Blair promised. "I'll tell you." Chuck just shrugged like it didn't matter to him either way. She really hated him sometimes. She rolled her eyes and turned around to finally go inside.

"Waldorf." She turned around expectantly. "I'm coming for you," he smirked lecherously before rolling up the window. Blair stared after him as the limo coasted away. What was wrong with him? More importantly, what was wrong with her? She actually _liked_ it when he acted like that? He really was her match.


	10. Hi, Society

**A/N**: Not so sure how well this chapter came out. I already finished Roman Holiday and started School Lies, and I can tell you that they are definitely better than this one. I hope these weren't too repetitive.

**Summary**:

Blair never really used the term "lover" to refer to herself, but she didn't know what else to call it. It wasn't like they were dating or anything. There wasn't another label she could use. Typical of that womanizer who was womanizing her to make her feel things that she never had before.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG or any characters.

**

* * *

**

**Inappropriate Behavior**

_On me you'd be so much more._

_Yes, but I can't be on you, remember? Because we don't want Nate to find out. We don't want anyone to. Not until you've learned to behave yourself first._

Blair thought she was getting used to this. She thought she could handle it. That was before Nate and Chuck were in the same room with her for the first time since her birthday.

She had so many conflicting emotions. The strongest one was the one that was the most new to her. The burning in her blood and excitement in her veins that told her only her certain scarf-decked, borderline-alcoholic, sex-addicted lover was near.

Blair never really used the term "lover" to refer to herself, but she didn't know what else to call it. It wasn't like they were dating or anything. There wasn't another label she could use. Typical of that womanizer who was womanizing her to make her feel things that she never had before.

The other emotion she was trying to keep in check was the urge to project her perfect image to her pretty ex. She wanted him to know that she was fine, but also not seem so unlike herself, the way she had seen her changing in the past weeks. She couldn't reconcile these two things so she did something that she never would have done a couple of weeks ago. She hid out in a closet. And she wasn't alone.

Blair tried to muffle that no so lady like sounds she was making but that insufferable Chuck Bass was making it very difficult.

"We have to go back out there," Blair said between fiery kisses.

"No we don't," Chuck disagreed offhandedly.

"Okay…" Blair said as she tried to suppress a girlish laugh as Chuck trailed down her neck. "_I_ have to go back out there."

That made him pull back.

"Why?" he asked slowly. "Because of him?" Blair didn't answer. "I thought you two were done."

"We are," Blair said hastily. "It's just that if we're both missing for as long as we have been, people are bound to notice."

Chuck leaned his face into the crook of her neck and whispered into her hair, "you're really beautiful, you know." Blair pushed him away.

"Stop that." Chuck smirked. He always knew how to make her forget about choice topics.

Blair turned the knob of the closet open and discreetly slid out in the manner that she had mastered in the past weeks. It was impressive. Chuck caught her by the wrist.

"This isn't over."

"If it was, your limo wouldn't be waiting outside for us right now," Blair hinted. Smiling lecherously, Chuck trailed her, trying to keep a safe distance so his best friend didn't realize a connection. Though Nate wasn't the brightest (his lacrosse career was testament to that) it still didn't push down the waves of betrayal that Chuck felt whenever he was around him.

He actually wanted his best friend's ex (acting on those wants repeatedly daily) and he couldn't seem to stop. It was a predicament but if anything, Chuck was always a master at rationalizing his actions. He as a Bass, after all.

However, when he emerged, all of that dissipated. All he could think of was how dear Nathaniel was chatting up the woman that had _his_ natural musk clinging to her like an aura.

That was a betrayal in itself. But he didn't suppose Nate could betray him when he didn't even know what was going on. And it was just slightly hypocritical of him to be jealous of Nate and Blair. That didn't mean he wasn't going to act on it. He was Chuck Bass.

"Nathaniel," Chuck greeted slyly, sideling up to Blair next to the bar.

"Hey, Chuck," Nate greeted brightly. He was so oblivious.

"Well, hey, Blair," Chuck said pointedly.

"Bass," Blair said, not reaching his gaze. Time to bring out the big guns.

"I just have to say how proud I am of you two," Chuck said slinging his arm over Blair's stiff shoulders. "You just broke up and now you're talking like old friends. It's inspiring."

"For what?" Blair snapped. "The only exes you have are the ones you pay for."

"You know, as much as that hurts," Chuck said with amusement, "I'm going to let that one slide. You never know what goes on in the dark."

He really was proud of Blair. She didn't show one sign about that last suggestive comment. He was also aware that his comment made no sense to the outside observer. Nate's expression made that much clear. But he was Nate and there were a lot of things he didn't understand. So he just brushed it off. Again.

"As much fun as this conversation is," Blair retorted, "I'm going over there to talk to Serena." Huh. The same Serena that just happened to know what _did_ go on with Blair in the dark. With him.

"That was weird," Nate commented.

"What was?" Chuck asked. He was always disgustingly heinous. That didn't seem like anything knew to him.

"Blair was just actually being pleasant and then all of a sudden she…"

"Well that's Blair," Chuck shrugged it off, knowing that Nate hadn't meant it as a jab. "What were you two getting so cozy and talking about anyway?"

"Us?" Nate asked with a laugh. "It's not like that." _I should hope so_. "But I don't know. She's just being really… happy. She's not neurotic or intense at all. She's being really different than she used to be."

"You mean she's different ever since you two broke up?" Chuck couldn't help himself.

"Oh," Nate said with confusion. "I never thought of it like that." Chuck smirked inwardly. He was perfectly aware of how Blair was acting, along with the cause. He just couldn't help but pointing it out to Nate. Nate would never catch on, but it was nice to gloat to the golden boy for once, even if he was completely dense about it.

There were some things, however, that Nate wasn't dense about. His face fell as he looked across the room and Chuck followed his eyeline. She was really pushing him over the edge tonight.

"I didn't think Blair would find anyone else so soon." Chuck pretended that Nate's voice didn't sound disappointed. There was no way that Nate was going to get her back after everything. And there was absolutely no way he was going to let that 6 foot whatever, presumable rugby player from Trinity keep buying Blair drinks like that. There was only one reason why men bought drinks for petite, gorgeous brunettes.

"I'll take care of it," Chuck assured Nate.

"You would do that for me?" Nate asked hopefully. Chuck flashed him what he hoped was a genuine smile. Underneath, however, it was anything but.

"Of course," he said innocently and made his way over to the bar under Nate's watchful eye.

"Blair," he said dangerously. Apparently she hadn't reached Serena after all. Blair let out something that sounded almost like a groan at his appearance and turned to him next to the guy that was two heads taller than Chuck.

"I'll take it from here," Chuck hinted.

"I don't think so," the stranger said.

"Really?" Chuck crossed his arms over his chest in what he hoped looked intimidating.

"The lady was having a good time before you got here."

"We'll see about that," Chuck sneered.

"You have got to be kidding," Blair snapped, turning on her heel. He wasn't fooled. He knew she was still watching from afar.

"You don't own her," the older guy said.

"Well she certainly doesn't belong to you," Chuck said darkly.

"But she does to you?"

"Yes," Chuck found himself saying. He didn't know what possessed him. He wasn't one to go after women like that. He slept with them and kicked them out. But he knew ever since he found himself in the middle of this thing with Blair, he wouldn't be able to stop.

"Why don't you just step back?" Chuck realized that he had gotten closer to his opponent. Jealousy did not look good on him, he decided.

"Then you do the same for her," Chuck demanded.

"I said back off," he almost yelled, shoving Chuck back. Chuck froze for a moment. He didn't like being assaulted. As difficult as it may be to believe, it had happened before. Chuck just didn't condone that. He also didn't condone violence when it came to him (it was uncivilized) but before he knew it, his fingers had curled into a fist and was hovering over the "slightly" larger high schooler. Suddenly, he found strong hands wrapped around his wrist.

Chuck looked back and Nate was holding him back.

"Hey guys," Nate said uneasily, "let's just calm down."

"Whatever, man," said the interloper and stalked off.

"You didn't have to do that," Nate warned Chuck.

"It was nothing," Chuck shrugged. "I protect my own." However, Nate didn't know that Chuck wasn't exactly talking about him.

"Blair didn't look to happy," Nate said anxiously, looking around the room.

"Good thing it wasn't you, then," Chuck said offhandedly. He sighed and began to walk off.

"Where are you going?" Nate asked.

"To find further entertainment," Chuck smirked, walking into the darkness. Little did he know he would find it almost immediately.

"What the hell was that?" Chuck was actually caught off guard when Blair pulled him around the corner.

"Well, well, Waldorf," Chuck said, trying to keep his tone from being too excited. "You really are insatiable."

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Chuck said mischievously.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Blair snapped. "And it won't happen again."

"I do love it when you take charge," Chuck said huskily.

"Sooner or later with all of your stupid innuendos and suggestions, Nate will think something's different," Blair warned. "You are not helping the situation. Especially with your petty jealousy attacks. Learn to behave yourself or—"

"Or what?" Chuck asked in his soft, velvet voice. "I know for a fact you like it when I don't behave myself. And you know there's nothing you can do to me to punish me. Besides. Nate already does know something is different."

"What?" Blair exclaimed. Chuck looked around.

"Keep your voice down," he mocked. "Nate just said that you seem a lot happier. Different. Better since you two broke up." That shut her up. For a couple seconds.

"Really?" If he wasn't mistaken, she almost sounded flattered. She really was one of a kind. "Don't let it happen again," she said pushing him lightly on his chest. Any contact was good contact.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Chuck said, leaning back into her. She let him. Again and again, she let him.

**Evasion**

_It's just my date. She's never late, and she likes to have final approval._

_Sorry, sorry, sorry. My cappuccino was decaf and I couldn't find my phone… Took forever to get a cab._

_But you live up the street._

_I wasn't home._

Blair snapped her phone shut over Chuck's demanding text. She decided she would ignore this one. She had to be at Nate's in a while and her stupid lover (she still had a hard time getting that word out) was monopolizing her attention. It wasn't that she minded or anything, but he would get this strange look every time Nate's name came up in conversation and then get overly possessive. Blair wanted to ignore the possibility that Chuck could very well in fact be jealous.

Chuck Bass didn't get jealous. He was just using her anyway… right? He didn't actually _like_ her. But logic begged to differ when she recalled her birthday so many hot and tempestuous weeks ago. She was actually happy, and Nate definitely wasn't going to ruin that. They were just going as friends. But whenever she saw that look that Chuck would give her, she knew that he had his doubts. She wouldn't let him. However, right now, she just needed some coffee.

Blair should have known that Chuck wasn't one to let things lye. Especially when she was the one ignoring his texts. The truth of the matter was, she loved being with him. (She was still trying to convince herself that didn't mean she loved him.) Nate was a thing of the past. But this was her Cotillion. Nothing in the world mattered more than that. At least, that's what she told herself when she saw him leaning with his lecherous smirk against his limo outside the coffee shop. He really couldn't be distracting her right now. But as soon as she saw him, she knew the exact opposite would occur.

"Ignoring my texts are we, Waldorf?" he asked innocently, standing up to his full height.

"What would make you think that?" Blair asked nonchalantly.

"Because when you read it you closed your phone," Chuck said blandly.

"Stalk me much?" She could tell he was trying to suppress a genuine smile in reference to her birthday. Some interesting things had definitely happened that night.

"Let's go," he said motioning to the limo with his head.

"I can't," Blair said simply.

Chuck had already opened the door for her and was looking at her expectantly. He leaned across the frame, crossing his arms across his chest. Blair hated how she couldn't say "no" to him. But when he looked at her with those dark eyes, she couldn't see anything else.

She realized what his silence was. He was waiting for an explanation. Typical Bass. Everyone was just there to wait on him.

"I have a tea for Serena's grandmother," Blair relented.

"I'll give you a ride," he said slowly, as though he knew she wasn't telling him the whole truth. He was the only one who could ever tell.

Blair hesitated. She knew immediately what would happen as soon as she stepped foot in that limo. Chuck knew she was powerless against him. He knew her weakness. She took his hand anyway and let him help her inside.

"Don't you have somewhere to go?" Blair asked breathlessly, trying to push Chuck off of her when she realized she was about an hour late for meeting Nate. Chuck silenced her with a deep kiss.

"I'm late," she said, trying to break away. Chuck exhaled in frustration, hovering above her. It seemed as though he was thinking something over. His eyes made a decision and he dove in for another kiss. Blair squirmed underneath him.

"Chuck, you're making me looking for a cab impossible," she said in annoyance.

"Don't go," he said into the crook of her neck. Blair finally got enough leverage to propel Chuck off of her. She reached for the door handle.

"I'll see you at Cotillion," she said, trying to distract him. He glowered for a second.

"I could give you a ride," he offered again.

"I have to meet Nate after," she deadpanned. Chuck sunk back in the seat. She didn't like his eyes now that she had said Nate's name again. They darkened. She hated disappointing him. That probably gave him unnecessary power over her but she couldn't help it. She didn't know why the thought of losing him scared her so much.

As Blair walked down the sidewalk trying to flag down a cab she couldn't help but think she would avoid Nate as much as possible. Nate was just Nate. And Chuck… he was something else.


	11. Roman Holiday

**A/N**: The second drabble is sort of a stretch. Not only am I doing allusions to the past, but when a character references something they will do, I just like writing it. I hope this chapter isn't too much of a let down, but I promise the next one is a lot better.

**Summary**:

Blair pursed her lips like she had been preparing herself for this day. His pride and ego told him that she was. She flicked her (beautiful) dark hair away from her face. He wanted to touch it again. She just raised her dark, obsidian eyes at him and cocked an eyebrow competitively.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG. All rights do not go to me.

* * *

**Monaco**

_Happy holidays, Mrs. Van der Woodsen. Mr. Bass. I didn't think you were still in town. I figured you were with—_

_With Charles, no. sadly I'm here stuck on business while he suns himself in my hotel at Monaco. I have my staff keeping an eye on him and I'll join him for New Year's_

Chuck squeezed his eyes shut as he leaned his eyes against the dark window of the private jet that was currently taking off at the airport. The images plaguing his brain were unbearable. He couldn't shut them out. He couldn't shut out Blair dancing with Nate, disappearing into a hotel room with Nate. He couldn't shut out the thought that she probably left on the necklace he gave her that he noticed glittering on her neck the entire night.

Monaco really seemed like the only solution. Even if he knew for a fact that his father didn't care enough to come with him. instead, he was staying in New York for "business."

Chuck was a Bass. He knew exactly what that meant. Instead, he was staying with his new trophy most likely about to propose to her. It wasn't that Bart Bass was known for just getting married. In fact, the last woman he was married to was Chuck's mother. But Chuck knew Lily van der Woodsen. The serial-marrier. He knew that his father's fate would be no different from her past victims. Not that it mattered to Chuck. Bart never cared about him anyway.

So when he finally touched down, he made the decision to leave everything about New York behind him. He wouldn't think about his father and his neglect. He especially wasn't going to think about the harpy who smashed the heart he never realized he had into a million pieces.

Or at least, that's what he convinced himself. The reality of it came crashing down on him when he kicked out the maid from his bed when he had enough of looking at her dirty blonde locks that were no where near enough to brunette as he would have liked.

Bart's attempt at having the staff check up on him was laughable. Most of them were female anyway and they were just as likely to fall into bed with him as they were to report back to his intense father.

Chuck's phone vibrated. It wasn't even a call. How insulting. It wasn't as though he would have answered Blair's calls anyway. It wasn't as though she were going to lament her undying feelings for him. She was Blair and he was Chuck. It just wasn't them. Maybe if it was, he would have answered.

Even so, this wasn't a call. It was a text. That was all he meant to her. One short, frank text.

**Monaco, huh? Anything I need to know?**

So she knew. She graced him with one simple text. There it was. She couldn't even pretend to be concerned. Well, he wasn't going to be concerned with her, either. He was just going to lye back on the beach in his hat and polo and ignore every single solitary call she would give him.

Especially one certain day when Nate showed up randomly. Chuck had jetted off to Monaco for the sole purpose of escaping everything. No matter. Nate was too dull to figure out anything anyway. Fortunate for them all.

Chuck, however, didn't know if he could take the fact of being around Nathaniel knowing that he touched and felt what Chuck was finally admitting to himself that he still desperately wanted.

He had been ignoring Blair's calls, but that didn't mean he didn't listen to the messages she left. It gave him a sort of pride to know that he was so significant that she would bother him with such calls. Her sweet voice yelling at him overseas was something he relished, though he would die before he admitted that to anyone.

Chuck especially liked getting a rise out of her. Which was why he sent the next one.

**Correspondence**

_Only 1 question: how did you fake ur virginity for N?_

Chuck widened his eyes on the beach from Blair's frank text. That girl had wit, he had to admit. It almost rivaled his own.

"What's that?" Nate asked, looking over his shoulder. Chuck quickly cleared the text. He didn't know why. He could easily just tell Nate everything like Blair was begging him not to. He loved having such power over her but there was one thing that he held even over that. It would kill him if Nate hated him for stealing something that should have belonged him in the first place. It probably wouldn't matter if he told the truth and actually said that he was desperately in love with Nate's… whatever they were. He would just have to lie low in this one. For now.

"Nothing," Chuck said quickly. Nate just shrugged. There were some things he just couldn't be bothered with. Fortunate, again, for Chuck.

Even though Chuck wasn't going to tell his best friend about the girl that obviously meant greatly to both of them, it didn't mean that Blair had to know that. He wasn't about to let anyone, a woman no less, have any sort of power of him. He just had to get his back. It was easy. Maybe even fun. He would have thought about anyone else, but when it came to Blair, things were different. He was just doing this for his own survival.

That's how a picture of him and Nate grinning on the beach ended up on his phone. He smirked as he sent it. Blair was going to think that Chuck would tell Nate any minute. It was better this way. Then, he knew that when they both returned he could do with Blair as he pleased. Not the most romantic notion, he knew, but if he could have her any way, he would do it. he didn't care.

Chuck placed the phone back on the towel beside him.

**Message sent**

**Don't worry, B. who would I tell?**

**The Truth**

_She likes to see the best in people. I like to see the truth._

_Yeah? And what's that?_

_I think you like Dan a little too much. just thought I should let you know someone's watching._

Chuck leaned against the brick cornering St. Jude's and Constance Billard. Many girls approached him, asking him how his vacation was, and not so subtly mentioning how they happened to be doing nothing that evening. He only had eyes for one. And right now, he was fascinated.

He wondered what she was looking at. Right now, she was in the same position that he was, sans minions, apparently incredibly intrigued with something that was happening across the yard.

Chuck followed her eye line that led him straight to the elder Humphrey. Oh yeah, and that obnoxious Brooklyn girl with a video camera permanently attached to her hand. What was she even doing here? She didn't live here and she certainly didn't go to school here. Weird.

She was drumming her fingers against her arm now. They were painted a violent red. He liked it. Except he wasn't supposed to be liking anything about her right now.

The girl with the wild dark hair (Veronica, Vivienne?) started walking when she was intercepted. Chuck could tell by the body language what was happening. The girl was in some way being threatened. He couldn't stop a smirk from crossing his lips. There was no one like her.

It was over now. Hopefully that other girl was going back to Brooklyn now. (Didn't she have to go to school or something?) Chuck strode over as a satisfied smile graced her face. (Should he call it a smirk?) She arranged her bag, hoisting it to her shoulder and stopped.

_Welcome home, Bass._

Blair pursed her lips like she had been preparing herself for this day. His pride and ego told him that she was. She flicked her (beautiful) dark hair away from her face. He wanted to touch it again. She just raised her dark, obsidian eyes at him and cocked an eyebrow competitively.

Chuck approached her anyway.

"Waldorf," he said distantly. "Not going to welcome me home?"

"I'm sure the number of women with herpes skyrocketing in the past 24 hours alerted me to your presence."

"And how long have you been thinking of that line?" he asked with amusement. Blair just scowled. He liked that look on her. It went well with her pristine uniform that he used to be able to wrinkle so well.

"Oh, I know," Chuck said, nodding. "You're just speechless by my presence. Who knew you'd miss me so much?"

"Only anxious to see what sort of _conversations_ you were sharing with Nate," she stressed. "You know he was supposed to come to my house for Christmas."

"As much as I know how you enjoy parading your boy toy around, princess," he said, "I needed him more than you. You had a family holiday."

"Bart said he would be joining you for New Year's," Blair said offhandedly.

"So that's how you found out," Chuck said thoughtfully. "Typical for a Bass to sell out his own family."

"Typical for a Bass to instigate blackmail," Blair snapped. Chuck suppressed satisfaction. So she was mad about that. Good. As well she should be, after the fragments of what used to be his central organ floating around in his chest.

"It's what you love about me," Chuck simply shrugged, turning to walk away. Of only he knew Blair's thinking and how right he was.


	12. School Lies Part I

**A/N**: So there were a lot of things I wanted to do for this episode, and yes, there is a second part. I've already written it so I'll update it pretty soon.

**Summary**: He was quite pleased that she was doing as he asked. At least there was still something in her that wanted to please him, wanted to listen to him. Maybe even still want him.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG. (Three days til the awesome season finale!) Chair 3.

* * *

**Blackmail**

_Enough with the blackmail. Aren't you bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever._

_Excuse me. I didn't say forever. Just until the sight of the two of you doesn't turn my stomach._

_And when will that be?_

_Only time will tell, I'm afraid. So unless you want dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle, I encourage patience and restraint._

_Isn't there someone else you can torture?_

_Probably. But I choose you._

Chuck wasn't really sure how far he was willing to go with this whole blackmail thing, yet. He was sure it was the only way to get Blair back, though. They were the same. He knew she respected power in the same way she was the only female he had ever respected. It was a possibility that he could apologize and actually _tell_ her his deep feelings for her (even though he made that clear at her birthday.)

But as soon as he and Nate landed, he knew that wasn't an option. They hadn't spoken to each other yet after they returned and Chuck was going to make sure that before they did, he was going to make something blatantly clear to Blair. She belonged to him. She just didn't know it yet. Maybe when he had her back he could tell her the struggle he was going through, but right now, he wasn't about to let Nate near her. Not before Chuck had his say, at least.

It would have been easy just to show up at her house. His potential step sister was staying there, but he knew Blair was clever enough to see right through that. She wasn't Nate, after all.

A party, however, at the Waldorf Penthouse was a different story. He could easily corner her before Nate got the chance. He was lucky. He caught her alone upstairs.

Blair walked confidently down the dimly lit hallway of her home. It took Chuck mere moments to grab her arm and pulled her into the dark bathroom, closing the door behind them and locking it.

"Ew, Bass," he heard her mutter. He smirked into the darkness. She was always completely aware of him. "The days of you pulling me into dark rooms are over."

"Really?" Chuck tested, not able to help himself. "I suppose that's why you're still here, so close to me in a dark locked room." He felt her immediately edge away from where he cornered her against the sink.

Chuck averted his eyes and Blair flicked the lights angrily back on. She crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a full glare.

"You think I would even consider speaking to you after all of those texts you sent me?" Blair demanded.

"I wasn't aware we were here to have a conversation," Chuck said suggestively, trapping her again, his hands on either side of her, braced against the porcelain. Blair rolled her eyes but didn't move. That was promising. "And technically, you were the one who insisted to keep contacting me. I was only retaliating."

"What do you want, Chuck?" Blair asked, almost tired.

"Why?" he asked. "Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Well I do have guests to attend to," Blair said in annoyance.

"Anyone in particular?" Chuck asked innocently.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Blair said, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Huh," Chuck said simply. "I know that a certain Nathaniel absolutely enjoyed the certain attending you did for him at the Debutante Ball." Blair clenched her jaw, still not breaking his gaze. "But I don't think that will happen again."

"Excuse me?" Blair asked delicately. Chuck let a maniacal smile pull at his lips.

"Let's just say we wouldn't want innocent Nate to know all the gory details that occurred in the back of certain limo, now would we?"

"I do not believe this," Blair said. "You're blackmailing me." Chuck just shrugged, leaning away in case she wanted to get from underneath him.

"Call it more a suggestion."

"What's even in it for you, Bass?" Blair asked softly. "Why do you even care? You got what you wanted out of me. What do you care who I go back to?" Chuck wished he could answer her truthfully. This would be the perfect opportunity to just admit that he was irrevocably in love with her and he couldn't stand the fact of seeing her with his best friend.

"I would just rather not see the disgusting display of PDA," Chuck retorted smoothly. He tried to suppress his instinct to grab her by the shoulders and tell her that wasn't all she was to him. She was everything. He never slept with a woman more than once. She was everything to him and she didn't even see it.

"Whatever," Blair said, obviously not believing him. "Excuse me."

She pushed by him. Chuck took solace in the fact that it was the first time she had voluntarily touched him since he got back. He waited 10 seconds as he heard her retreat down the stairs.

He walked slowly after her watching her pass Nate without a second's glance. Even as he felt like he might vomit from the mere proximity that they held, he was quite pleased that she was doing as he asked. (That was putting it lightly.) At least there was still something in her that wanted to please him, wanted to listen to him. Maybe even still want him.

**Pool Party**

_At this party that would be a lot more fun if you were here._

_Party? I thought it was a quiet night with Blair. Your last night at her place before your mom comes home._

_Yeah, it was and then Kati and Is showed up. And we all went out. And we ran into some people and ended up here._

Serena sighed. "I'm exhausted, Blair, can't we just go back to your place?" Blair cast her dark gaze around _Bisconti's_ with seemingly vague interest before turning it back to her best friend.

"Come on, S," Blair said playfully. "It's your last night before your mom gets back."

Is and Kati flounced back from their journey to find guys.

"It's official," Is announced. "This place has dried up."

"We just have to find more places to go," Blair shook her head.

"Like where?" Serena asked in exasperation. Then Blair had that expression. That expression that Serena had learned to fear.

"Do you still have that key to the pool?" Blair asked mischievously.

"Blair, no," Serena said firmly.

"But I'll be fun," Blair protested. "And it'll just be us girls." Serena ran a hand through her golden mane. She was such a pushover.

* * *

"Who are you calling?" Serena asked Kati as they lounged on the deck after going home to change.

"Just Penelope and Hazel," Kati assured her. "They would want to be here too."

However, not only did Penelope and Hazel show up, but two thirds of the junior class. Including, to Blair's dismay, exactly the person she was trying to avoid. Both of them, actually.

"It's so much easier this way," a familiar voice that still somehow seemed to send chills down her spine husked in her voice.

Blair spun around, her hands on her hips to face him.

"What are you talking about?" Blair asked Chuck icily.

"Just how much easier it is to go from here when there's only two articles of clothing left to remove," Chuck leered at her skimpy bathing suit.

"You weren't invited," Blair said, crossing her arms modestly over her chest.

"Actually, I was," Chuck smirked. "It seems that Hazel has some strange fixation with me." Blair would kill her tomorrow. Wait, where did that thought come from? She hated Chuck Bass. What was with those traitorous thoughts?

"No need to be jealous, Waldorf," Chuck slung his arm sleazily over her shoulders. "I only have eyes for you."

Blair immediately slapped his hand away.

"Why so testy?" he asked innocently.

"You mean since you're blackmailing me?" Blair retorted.

"It's for your own good," Chuck drawled. "and besides, you wouldn't want to be influenced in the lacking brain cells that are usually attributed to the best friend of mine who I happened to bring with me, now, would you?"

"What?" Blair asked. "He's here?"

"Don't act so excited," Chuck said acidly.

"No need to be jealous, Bass," Blair echoed. "It's just harder to avoid the person I'm supposed to be avoiding at a public party."

"That's what I thought," Chuck leaned away confidently.

"Don't be so cocky," Blair snapped. "You're only using blackmail because it's the only thing you have against me. Don't forget, I know how intoxicating control is as much as you."

"That I would have to agree with," Chuck nodded. "Especially when it comes to a certain best friend of yours who could be implicated in this whole incident."

"Using leverage against me again?" Blair asked.

"No," Chucks shook his head slowly. "Just pointing out that I, of course, know everything, including that Serena was the one with the key that let us in."

"She let _me _in," Blair said. "You're just collateral damage."

"I like your analogies," Chuck smiled slightly.

"Well that's all you're going to like," Blair responded, turning around towards the pool. "Have a nice time."

Chuck knew that last comment was sarcastic, but he couldn't help admire her as she dove into the pool. It might have been just because of the limited clothing she was wearing or just because he couldn't help but be impressed at how she was holding up against him. There was no one out there like her.

**Interrogation**

_So we all know how this works_

_No one talks, no one gets into trouble_

_Who did break in, anyway?_

_I guess we don't have to worry about Nate cracking under pressure_

_So are we all agreed?_

_Agreed_

_Look, Blair, I know you have your sights set on Yale, but this Skull and Bones stuff is a bit much, don't you think?_

_Maybe. But it works. Every time._

"Blair," Serena whispered. "I'm scared."

"You have nothing to be worried about," Blair assured her in the Headmaster's office. "Just don't say anything and you'll be fine." Serena paused. She looked at Blair's straight posture and emotionless face. Her best friend was so strong. She was just wondering why.

"I don't even know why you're protecting him," Serena muttered under her breath. Blair cast her a sharp glance.

"Serena," Blair turned in her seat in the waiting room. "If he goes down, so do we. And we both know your mother won't take any more trouble from you."

Serena sighed and leaned her head against the wall. She had to admire Blair, though. She was going through a lot of trouble to protect him. Nate walked out of the Headmaster's office. Blair leapt to her feet.

"What did you say?" she demanded.

"Nothing," Nate shrugged noncommittally. Blair exhaled. Serena narrowed her eyes. She had never seen her be cross with Nate in public. She really didn't like the influence that was taking over Blair's life. She couldn't help but things would go bad for Nate and Blair if she continued on like this.

Blair took a seat back next to Serena, watching Nate across the room. He crossed it to the other waiting area. Chuck was leaning his head against the wall, his eyes closed as though he were preparing himself for battle or something. Serena wasn't surprised. Some things were just necessary.

"Hey, man," Nate sighed, holding out his hand. Chuck took it in a friendly handshake but didn't get up. Nate sat down beside him.

"troubles with the Mrs.?" Chuck smirked, looking over at Blair's scrutiny.

"She just seems really uptight," Nate observed.

"Don't be so surprised," Chuck said. "She could have a black mark before she even gets into high school."

"This is eighth grade, Chuck," Nate said. "It doesn't even count."

"It does for Blair."

"I don't even know what she's so worried about," Nate said. "I don't even know who broke into the Headmaster's office."

"She just wants to make sure it stays that way," Chuck stated.

"So you know?" Nate asked.

"I know everything," Chuck said pointedly. Nate didn't get it.

"Nathaniel Archibald." Nate looked up to see the Headmaster's secretary. "Your meeting with the Headmaster is over. What are you still doing here?"

Nate just rolled his eyes and got up to leave. "Good luck man." Chuck nodded.

"Charles Bass." Chuck looked up. it was his time to go in. he looked across the room to see Blair still studying him. he just flashed her a confident smirk and headed in. she just nodded in his direction. When it came to Chuck, things could go from bad to worse in a matter of seconds.

* * *

Serena was waiting for Blair as soon as she got out of her meeting with the Headmaster.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Serena muttered.

"He's not that bad," Blair rolled her eyes as they walked outside of the building.

"He broke into the Headmaster's office, B," Serena said exasperatedly.

"Shh," Blair said, looking hurriedly around.

"Who cares if anyone finds out?" Serena asked. "Bart could just add another wing to the library or something."

"You just don't get it," Blair shook her head. "This isn't about Chuck not getting back into school. Do you really have any idea what will happen if Bart finds out about this?"

Serena looked at the ground shamefully. She had no idea it was about this. Maybe Blair and Chuck were more alike than she thought.

"Bart already thinks Chuck is a screw up. He's completely neglected. You have a brother that adores you. Your mother may go around marrying the most eligible bachelors she meets, but she does it for you. To provide you with father figures. You don't know what it's like to have neglectful parents who don't give a damn about you."

"Blair…" Serena shook her head. "Eleanor loves you. And you have your dad."

"Yeah, "Blair replied sarcastically. "I have a dad who comes home late every night smelling like bar. He pretends to be my friend more than my father. Some people just aren't meant to be parents, Serena. Some of us are just unlucky enough that they all reside on the Upper East Side, as ours."

"Blair, I'm sorry," Serena said earnestly. "But I can't help but think that Chuck might deserve this. He broke into the Headmaster's office. Broke the combination on his liquor cabinet and held a party there for the entire grade. Bart doesn't pay attention to him for a reason."

"You're wrong," Blair said darkly. "No one deserves what Bart gives Chuck. And did you ever stop to think that Chuck needs the partying, the boozing, and the womanizing? He never had his father. It wasn't the lifestyle that came first. It was his father." They stepped to the sidewalk out in front of the school. "I'll just see you later, I guess."

"I can walk you home," Serena suggested.

"No," Blair said firmly. "I just want to be alone."

Serena's overpowering personality made it difficult to be friends with her sometimes. She wanted to understand, but she just didn't know what it was like to be raised by the maid. Even at one time, Serena had a mother and father. All Blair had was a fashion designer and a friend. She didn't have parents.

As the signature black limo pulled along side her, she knew exactly why she was protecting Chuck. They were the same in so many ways. They just understood each other. And she knew that in a heartbeat, Chuck would do the same for her. he may be an emotionless bastard, but he was the most loyal person she had ever met. So she got in.

"You and Serena were having an interesting conversation," he mused.

"Did anyone ever tell you how weird it is when you listen to other people's conversations?" Blair asked.

"Not lately," he smirked, looking out the window. "Just so you know… I don't know thank you's."

"Good," Blair responded. "I don't think I could take one from you." She heard him chuckle softly.

"Why did you defend me?" he asked dangerously.

"You know so much," Blair said turning to him, "why do you even have to ask?" Chuck looked away. "Why didn't you tell Nate?" This caused Chuck to smirk.

"I knew he'd crack under the pressure," he said. "Nothing's worse than having to protect your best friend."

"I didn't say anything," Blair defended.

"That's because you're you," he said lightly. "You're completely in control. Serena on the other hand…"

"Serena isn't saying anything," Blair said firmly.

"I know. Like I said, you're in control." Blair nodded. "Thanks." It was so quiet, Blair was sure that she hadn't heard it. She accepted it anyway.

"Who knew we would be so alike?" Blair said, more to herself.

"I did," Chuck said arrogantly. "I know everything."


	13. School Lies Part II

**A/N**: So obviously this is the second part of School Lies. I'll try writing Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate tomorrow. I just couldn't bring myself to watch it because it's so heartbreaking because I am a true Chair fan. Some of this might seem a little redundant, but I actually really like this. This also has a drabble that alludes to the future. I just couldn't resist adding the last scene because when I heard the line, this scene just popped into my head. It also explains why Blair went back to Nate in the end in my little Chair infested mind. It's my favorite one in this chapter so I hope you like it too.

**Summary: **"Hands off me, Bass." He loves the way she utters her name with indignation. Like she doesn't really still want him. Like she really has a choice in the matter.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own GG but am PUMPED about tonight's episode. FINALLY CHAIR.

* * *

**Rejection**

_You're taking that paper seriously_

_This isn't a paper. It's a heartfelt letter to Blair._

_A heartfelt letter? Who spayed you, man? Blair doesn't even want you. She's been crystal about that since we got back._

"Blair." Blair closed her eyes against the genuine voice. He had to come literally as soon as Chuck set the ground rules. It wasn't as though she were subservient to Chuck or anything. She knew that she didn't want Nate to find out, but she wasn't exactly sure why. It was true that it would be a train wreck that his best friend betrayed him with his ex, but Blair was more worried about the implications about her character, as well as her ruined reputation.

If Nate found out, he would also find out that Blair actually wanted to be with Chuck. She was mad at herself that she still sort of harbored feelings for the detached devil. For now, she would work with Chuck. But she knew this couldn't last forever. Even Chuck Bass got bored.

She wasn't even sure what the allure of blackmail, other than entertainment was to begin with. Chuck could torture so many other people. What was so special about her? she didn't have time to contemplate this as Nate walked up to her.

"I haven't seen you in a while," Nate said lamely. "How was your vacation?"

"Unremarkable," Blair said dully.

"Oh," Nate said awkwardly. He couldn't understand why Blair was being this way.

"Listen," Blair said impassively. "I've actually got somewhere to be…"

"Don't you have lunch now?" Nate asked, looking around the courtyard. His eyes passed right over his best friend who was witnessing this entire conversation with intrigue.

"I just have to go," Blair said distractedly, pulling away from him.

"Wait—"

"Well that was interesting." Nate looked over to see Chuck scanning his (ex?) girlfriend's retreating form. "What was that about?"

"I don't know," Nate said. "It's so weird. After the Debutante Ball, I thought…" He looked back at Chuck who was waving dismissively.

"You never know," Chuck said. "Maybe something happened over break."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, maybe she met someone." Nate blanched. He had enough of this during the week of Cotillion.

"Do you know something?" Nate asked. Chuck gave him a straight look.

"Of course not, Nathaniel."

* * *

"Impressive," she heard his voice. "But I would wager that you could do better next time." He caught her walking home.

"What do you want?" Blair stressed. "Haven't you enjoyed torturing me enough already?"

"Not nearly."

"And why are you even walking?" Blair demanded. "Your limo too infested with the cheap perfume of your whores?"

"The only perfume residing in that limo is yours, sweetheart," he said lecherously. Blair spun around on the sidewalk.

"What do you want from me, Chuck?" she asked seriously.

"I was impressed with how your conversation with dear Nathaniel went this afternoon," Chuck mused. "I almost thought you would have broken down by now."

"You know me better than that," Blair threatened.

"Better than anyone." Blair rolled her eyes and started down the street again. Chuck kept up easily.

"I'm staying away from Nate, not that it's any of your business," she informed him. "You can leave now."

"But I don't want to," Chuck said innocently. "The recent developments are much too entertaining."

"Recent developments?" Blair pressed.

"Just the ones where Nate just so happens to think that you've got yourself a new boyfriend." Blair stopped dead in her tracks again.

"You bastard," she said, hitting him across the head with her Gucci purse. Chuck made no move to make it look like it pained him any. Good thing he was a master at being indifferent.

"It was completely beyond my control," he said deviously. "But if you want Nate to stay away, you might want to tell him that. Our boy isn't that blessed in the brain department."

"Well you know all the answers," Blair said sarcastically.

"That's right," Chuck said. "And as I recall, I also have the information to make Nate's world come crashing down on him. What's it going to be, Waldorf?"

"You come off like you're doing me a service," Blair spat. "Everyone has an agenda, _Bass_. It's only a matter of time before I figure out yours. And as for Nate, I can take care of it myself."

And she was gone. But even though she had hit him in the head with her large and quite frankly painful bag, at least it was contact. Contact with the first only girl he would ever love.

It happened faster than Chuck anticipated. The next day, actually. And he couldn't have been happier. Of course, he had to hide that from Nate, but that wasn't really a problem. Nate was oblivious and Chuck was always hiding things anyway.

"I called you last night," Nate said. Blair texted indifferently on her phone.

"I must not have gotten it," she said distantly.

"Blair, after Cotillion…"

"Nate," she said, finally giving him her attention. He was too dull minded to realize that it wasn't a good thing.

"Whatever happened at Cotillion just happened. Let's not make it more than it was." Chuck was starting to get a strange sense of déjà vu. It sounded exactly like the sort of speeches he gave the women who came back looking for more after he kicked them out of his bed. There was only one who hadn't kicked out. And if she ever came back, he never would.

"Blair..." Nate said in confusion. "We…"

"It was nice," Blair said offhandedly. "It was just sex, Nate. I really do have to go now."

Chuck stared in triumph at Nate's defeated posture. He knew he should feel guilt. He knew he should feel something for destroying what Nate held dear. But honestly, Nate had done the same to him, even if he didn't know it. He wanted to feel loyalty to his friend, he really did. But all he could think was her sighs of contentment and how he never wanted anything else ever again.

**Documentation**

_He'll believe me_

_Why?_

_Because I have proof. Good eye, docu-girl. I'll take the tape now._

_You knew she was watching?_

In all honesty, Chuck wasn't that interested in "studying" and Blair so called it. Really, it was just another excuse for a party. Guys were playing poker at the table in the foyer and Penelope was hanging off of him in a way that made him want to snap. He was listening in indifferent casualty which really meant he wasn't listening to her boring story that meant she liked him too much.

Wasn't there a rule or something? That you couldn't date a Girl of the Met Step's boyfriend or something? Not that Chuck and Blair had officially dated or anything. Chuck Bass doesn't do dates. But Nate and Blair definitely had and it was common knowledge that Penelope was after him as well.

The funny thing was, though, as soon as Blair came within 5 feet of them both, Penelope was gone. Blair had that effect on most people. Or maybe Penelope just gets the vibe that this is Blair's territory. But that was wishful thinking. And Chuck doesn't want to belong to one woman, anyway. He doesn't want to belong to any woman. But Blair made him want to.

Chuck dangled the evidential key in front of his face with boredom. The real reason that he was even here was because it was Blair's house to being with. She wasn't paying any attention to him, anyhow. Luckily Nate wasn't here yet. Chuck was sure that he would stop his endeavor to win Blair back, but he had been mistaken.

Chuck pretended to ignore Blair's proximity and the length of her skirt as she placed the mimosas down on the table next to him. That's when she decides to notice him. Like he's just there when she wants and invisible when she decides it's time to ignore him. But it's not even him that she notices. It's the key that he nonchalantly dangles in front of his face. She snatches it away.

"You brought that here?" she demanded. "Give it to me. It's evidence." Chuck let his hand lay in the position it was before she snatched it away. He watched her trail up the stairs, almost in a haze before Humphrey's voice drowns out everything else. How dare he interrupt him while he was leering?

Even between spiked words aimed specifically at Humphrey and his low status and lack of privileges, Chuck doesn't miss one Nathaniel Archibald finally walk through the elevator… watching Blair trail up the stairs the same time that Chuck did. Sure as Chuck expected it, after a moment's hesitation, Nate is walking up those marble stairs that Chuck's expensive Italian shoes had clicked against what seemed like eons ago. He doesn't expect to let that go anytime soon.

He's glad when she returns alone after only a few minutes. It wasn't enough time for even a meaningful conversation, rather than the things Chuck wishes he could still do to her.

Fortunately, Fate seems to be on his side that night. He sees that she-Brooklyner traipsing around with her little camera the exact same time Blair trails down the stairs, confident as ever. He has to admire her. He always does. But he knows at this point, he's even better.

Chuck eases himself out of the chaise and idles past the stair case. She won't see him come down. This suits his plan perfectly. He watches the interloper walk around, looking for something interesting for her little documentary. He'll give her something.

Blair is still walking down the stairs, as beautiful (damn her) as ever. Quick as lightning, he reaches out and grabs her argyle clad arm. He relishes the feeling of the comforting wool underneath his fingers from the brief contact before she wrenches her arm away.

"Hands off me, Bass." He loves the way she utters her name with indignation. Like she doesn't really still want him. like she really has a choice in the matter.

Chuck leans in very close, knowing that he's caught the attention exactly the way he wants it. His next comment will put things into perspective. He can't help but bring up the many activities they indulged in alone and he knows now, that he has proof. Victory never tasted so sweet.

"Drop your Archibald habit first."

**The Tape**

_Smash it, burn it, whatever. There are no copies._

_What about the one you gave to Chuck?_

_It's blank. Which I'm sure he'll be thrilled to discover._

Blair hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. She knew Chuck was smart. Borderline genius, actually. Not many people knew that about him. He was defined as lazy but there were things about Chuck that no one but her would ever discover.

The point was, no matter how intelligent Chuck was, she didn't think he would discover the blank tape so quickly. She thought that he was just using it as leverage. Apparently, she underestimated him.

He was in her room when she got home. She froze in the doorway, watching him ransack her belongings. He cast her one look of indifference before he went make to his ministrations.

"What are you doing here?" was all she could think to ask in the circumstances. She was appalled that he would go to such lengths.

"Where is it, Blair?" he asked, riffling through her desk now. He reached her vanity. _Where her diary was_. No way in hell would she be caught dead having him read that. Especially since the major player in it was him.

"That's _private_," she stressed, closing the drawer almost on his hand before he drew back. "How did you even get in here?"

"Dorota can be surprisingly corruptible when her mistress isn't around calling the shots," he said steadily, studying her face. She hadn't been this close to him in a long time. She wished she could fool herself into thinking that she hadn't missed him. She missed the unique angles of his bone structure and that leering smirk of his. Right now, however, he was just looking at her, his face unreadable. She knew he was just trying to read her.

"Where is it, Blair?" he asked again. Blair unconsciously clutched her purse closer to her, where the tape lay. No way was she leaving that alone in her room or disasters like this would occur. Luckily she was just as smart as Chuck.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blair said, pushing past him to the middle of her room. Chuck didn't let more than three feet pass between them. He was trying to decipher her.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," he said. Blair rolled her eyes but then Chuck's rested on the bag that she hadn't put down since she entered the room. He really was too smart for his own good.

"Give it to me," he held out his hand. It wasn't like she could do anything. He already knew beyond a doubt that she had it and where.

"Get out of here, Bass," she said, backing minutely against her bed. He just closed the distance between them.

"How did you get it?" Chuck asked interestedly. "I knew she gave me a blank, but would she really go as far as to give you the real copy?"

"I guess she just hates you that much," Blair said.

"Or maybe she just hates me a little more than she hates you." Blair shouldn't have spent the precious moment to contemplate this. Chuck used it as a successful distraction.

Suddenly, her bag was in his hand and he was digging frantically through it. Blair paused. She wasn't really sure why this was so important to him. Maybe he just didn't want it out as much as she did. He did almost take off Vanessa's arm trying to get it back in the first place. But he did the damage in the first place. If he just let things go, they wouldn't be in this mess. If he wasn't such an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, things would be quite different.

The only reason she slept with Nate was because Chuck had betrayed her. The one person she thought (stupidly) that she could trust. He shattered that, along with her heart. Running to Nate was just an instinct.

But then suddenly Chuck had disappeared and Blair was sure he did it just to spite her. Just to make her just more betrayed than he already had. Again, Nate was just a reflex. She really hadn't thought of even returning to Nate. After Chuck, there was no way. Chuck was exciting and he understood her more than even Serena. Nate was dull and always wondered how Eleanor could so easily reduce Blair to tears.

Chuck was Chuck, though. And she was Blair. This was how they operated, apparently. Reflecting on the past wouldn't do her any good. Realizing that, she saw Chuck finally find what he was looking for. He let the purse drop the floor, while the tape was secure in his hand. Blair wasn't about to let that slide.

She quickly grabbed his wrist and tried to pry it from his fingers. She wasn't about to let Chuck walk out of here with more blackmail material.

Chuck didn't want to hurt her. That was never his intention. Technically, she hurt him first, even if it didn't seem that way from her point of view. Chuck knew he could easily overpower her. He was a full head taller than her and she was petite. He could overpower her, but he didn't want to. He wanted her to trust him, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

He just kept a strong hold on it, hoping that his mere strength would prevail so this wouldn't resort to blows. He didn't mind that Blair was striking him repeatedly across the chest. It reminded him so much of when things were fine and it was just the two of them.

Unfortunately for both of them, Blair was still wearing her stilettos which got caught behind Chuck's own leather shoes. She lurched backwards, her hand still intertwined with his. The bed provided cushioning that the floor wouldn't have as she landed across it.

She and Chuck were still locked in a desperate power struggle. Her French manicure scratched across the surface and she pulled the film out triumphantly, destroying the evidence. She breathed in relief as she threw the remains across the room. She laid her head back on her bed. She realized too late that Chuck was actually still straddling her after his attempts to win.

Blair looked slowly up to see his deep set eyes locked with hers. She wished she could look away but there was something about Chuck that was just so influential over her.

Chuck carefully placed his palms on either side of her head, bracing himself against her pillows. It seemed so familiar to before the Debutante Ball when Nate showed up. This time, however, Chuck knew Nate wasn't about to ruin this for him.

Blair let out a shuddering breath that she realized she was holding in. Chuck's exotic eyes appraised her in a way that she noticed she missed desperately. He swept his hand across her face, taking the strands of hair that were sticking to it away.

Blair closed her eyes, trying to block out everything. She couldn't do this again. She couldn't be falling for him again. But when she opened them again, not only was he still there, but his face was significantly closer to hers.

She was about to hold her breath again when Chuck easily swept in and covered her mouth with his. Blair tried to resist, which lasted all of .2 seconds. Through no fault of her own, she found her hands wound tightly through his hair, pulling him even closer to her.

She heard the guttural growl that she was so used to in the back of his throat that she found she had missed. His hands grasped at the hem of her shirt as her nails dug into his clothed shoulders.

Chuck smirked into her mouth as he heard her beautiful purring that was so intoxicating. Blair didn't know what made her stop so long ago. This is what she wanted in a way. This was exactly what Chuck was aiming for through all the blackmail and power over her. She was finally beneath him. She was finally his for good this time.

"Chuck," she whispered into his mouth. He really wanted to ignore her. All he wanted was her, couldn't she see that?

"Stop for a second." Chuck pulled away in anger. She could see it in his quickly darkening eyes.

"Why?" he asked. "Because of your precious Nate?"

"What?" Blair asked, shrinking away from him.

"I'll never be as good as him, right?"

Blair blinked. Was that really what this was all about? Did Chuck really just not want her and Nate to be together… because of jealousy? That was all Chuck's agenda was. He was doing all of this just to get her back and she was so stupid that she didn't even see it. all she saw was the cold and calculating devil who wanted nothing more than other peoples' misery. Was this really all just about her?

"What are you talking about?" Blair asked. Why couldn't he see that she had never met anyone like him before in her life? And she never wanted to. She only asked him to stop because she was afraid of him hurting her again. She didn't want to do this just to find him leaving her again. She just wanted to be sure that if they were going to be together, they would actually _be together_. But he never made anything easy.

"You took that tape because you didn't want to ruin your relationship with dear Nathaniel," he spat, rolling away from her.

"You just wanted that tape so you could destroy me," Blair interjected. "I was just trying to get it back."

"Really?" Chuck asked skeptically. "How convenient that the tape I had would have made Nate hate you forever, then."

"Just admit it," she said, tying to hide her tears from him. "You're just using me. You wanted that tape to destroy my reputation, not caring what you did to me. Just like at Cotillion."

Chuck lept off the bed in anger. How dare she bring that up? All he was trying to do was make her see that Nate wasn't a gentleman at all. All Chuck wanted to do was make her happy and all she saw was his best friend.

"That's how you want it?" Chuck asked icily. "Fine. Go back to your perfect boyfriend." He was half out of her room when she yelled after him.

"Fine." She collapsed onto her bed in a fit of tears. All she wanted was him to admit that this wasn't a game and he couldn't even do that. All he did was break her and all she wanted was him back.

She hated how he had such control over her, but she knew it was the truth. If he wanted her to go back to Nate, fine, that's what she would do. Little did he know that she would do anything that he asked of her. Little did he know that she would never be over him.


	14. Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate Part I

**A/N**: Sorry I haven't updated anything in like... forever. I have been writing, though, just not submitting. I finished the whole season 1 of Allusions, I'll just submit them throughout the summer. I need to get the season 2 DVD so I can continue this, if people will read it. Anyway, I have finals coming up, like tomorrow, so I really should be studying and not writing fan fiction, but whatever. This just means I'll be submitting as much as I can tonight because I really do have to study. So here's the first part of Thin Line.

**Summary**: Being with Chuck was tempestuous and passionate. She couldn't see straight when she was with him. That wasn't how it was supposed to be… right? That wasn't according to her fairytale. She was supposed to be with the white knight, not the dark prince. And she definitely wasn't supposed to be carrying the dark prince's baby.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gossip Girl, Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf (sadly.)

* * *

**Influence**

_There's no love lost between me and Chuck Bass but I gotta believe he deserves to know._

_He does have this weird influence over her._

"No, Blair."

Chuck smirked. It really was amusing watching Serena trying to muffle Blair's true nature. The sad thing was, Blair actually believed the things that her best friend told her. It was his job to show her that it was okay for her true colors to shine through. In fact, he would be lying if he said that wasn't what was so appealing about her. Not that he was into that sort of thing.

"Let's not be too hasty," Chuck said. The three of them leaned against the outside of the school. Blair was in the middle. Despite the fact that Serena wasn't much of an angel, the irony wasn't lost on Chuck that he, of course, was taking the Devil's side.

"It's wrong, Chuck," Serena scolded.

"And since when did you start having such an upstanding moral code?" Chuck sneered.

He didn't like that once a person was guilty of a scheme or two, they were immediately looked down upon as being evil. Blair was just protecting what was rightfully hers. Chuck would back her up for that.

"It's an innocent girl," Serena said.

"Not that innocent," Chuck disagreed. "I know that for a fact."

Blair scrunched up her face in disgust. Chuck knew, however, that his heinous nature was what really bonded them. Especially when Serena decided to go on her good girl phases.

"B," Serena said pleadingly.

Blair had yet to join in the conversation that was featuring her. She had a pensive expression on her face and Chuck knew she was contemplating this carefully. If Serena weren't here, Blair would have already sent in scathing rumors to knock the new girl off her high horse. Serena was such a bad influence.

Serena scowled at Chuck. She really hated him and had no idea why Blair put up with him. Before he came along, Blair would have actually considered the repercussions of her actions. He was such a bad influence on her. That she was actually thinking from his point of view was proof enough.

"Blair, I know you want to protect your throne, but this girl hasn't done anything to you. Just take the high road."

Serena saw Blair's eyes connect with hers. For a moment she thought she saw some reason there. But she should have known better. The more Blair was under Chuck's bad influence, the shorter that reason lasted. The shorter this eye contact would last. Blair pursued her lips. Serena sighed.

Blair turned to look at Chuck, as though asking him for affirmation. Serena was so glad they weren't dating. Not only would they be the most dangerous power couple on the Upper East Side, but Chuck and her were, quite frankly, the same. Blair listened to him more than anyone else. The relationship would probably last but Chuck could also probably get Blair to do anything.

Good thing Chuck wasn't the dating type. He probably couldn't even say he loved anyone and love was what Blair needed. Thank God for small favors.

Chuck just shrugged at Blair's gesture.

"If that girl thinks that she can just come along and steal what's rightfully yours," Chuck said succinctly, "then you know what your have to do."

Their eye contact lasted longer than Serena's did. She lost. To Chuck. Again. She didn't like competing for her best friend, especially since she knew Chuck was just doing it because he knew how much it vexed her.

"I've made my decision," Blair sighed, standing up. She was always so dramatic. Chuck waited patiently before she went on. Serena didn't know how he dealt with Blair in her most concentrated bitchy form. It was like he was bred for it or something.

Blair turned to Chuck and Serena knew she had lost. Chuck smirked at Serena over Blair's shoulder. If there was one thing he knew better than even himself, it was Blair Waldorf.

**Denial**

_Were you arguing about the possibility that your condition may have returned?_

_No. And it hasn't. _

_I heard you. The other day. In your bathroom with the water running._

_I'm very stressed. And with you and Serena down my throat I can hardly think straight, never mind keep food down._

Blair took a shaky breath. It was too much. she thought as soon as she reconciled with Nate this whole Chuck business would just vaporize. Of course things had to get more complicated. Chuck had a way of doing that.

Blair walked weakly into her room and sank down onto the bed. She had already checked her calendar thousands of times. The date was still the same. She was three days late.

Not so long ago she had succumbed again to Chuck in this very room. She hated to admit that she liked it. She hated that leering way that made her feel desired which actually meant that she couldn't get enough of it. Not a day later had she done it again, but this time with Nate.

Blair didn't want to compare someone to someone else who had obviously vastly more experience than the other, but that was sort of impossible.

Blair didn't want to admit that she didn't regret giving herself to Chuck that first time. The way that Nate touched her, Blair could tell she would have had a significantly less enjoyable time had it been with Nate. She could tell that he just wouldn't have understood that the first time was significantly uncomfortable. But Chuck knew. And she had to admit that he respected that. Jerk.

She hated those looks Chuck had been giving her lately. More over, she hated how they made her feel. She didn't like feeling guilty, especially when it came to the person who shattered her heart into a million pieces. She wasn't supposed to still have feelings for him. Chuck made everything complicated.

There as a serious fact that kept looming towards her as the days progressed. She slept with Nate. Once. In all honesty, she had completely lost track of the times she had indulged with Chuck. Though Nate was the last one, the numbers were against him. If she really was pregnant, Blair didn't need to go to a paternity hearing. She knew exactly who the father was.

Being with Nate was how things were supposed to be. It was innocent and pure. Being with Chuck was tempestuous and passionate. She couldn't see straight when she was with him. That wasn't how it was supposed to be… right? That wasn't according to her fairytale. She was supposed to be with the white knight, not the dark prince. And she definitely wasn't supposed to be carrying the dark prince's baby.

She could be late just do to stress. It was a possibility. But the stress she as dealing with had nothing to do with that chemistry test that she had. It had everything to do that she found herself still in need of the one man that she could never want. It was too destructive. But she couldn't help it.

She couldn't help but feel dark thoughts of the person that taught her everything. The person that seemed to compliment her in such a mysterious way.

She couldn't be pregnant. Not only would she have another life to care for or her reputation would be shot to hell, but she couldn't take the repercussions. She couldn't take disappointing Nate and would most definitely not be able to take Chuck. No way would he be a suitable father. He was flighty, angsty, and a complete womanizer. Not the greatest influence, to be honest.

Blair made Nate used protection. Another thing she learned from Chuck. It really was just common sense but Chuck, surprisingly, was an avid user of birth control. She supposed that made sense with the extra curricular activities he was involved in, but a part of her never thought that he actually cared. It made her have hope for him.

On the contrary, birth control did little good when it came to them. Blair couldn't even remember the status afterward. All she could remember was the blinding ecstasy she felt when she was with Chuck and how her vision would just spark white. If a condom broke, she wouldn't have even realized it. There was no doubt in her mind who the potential father could be. But there was also no doubt what a disaster it would be.

Blair took the high road. The one that she had perfected so well over the years. Denial. She wasn't pregnant. She definitely didn't still harbor feelings for Chuck Bass and everything with her and Nate was perfect.

That's what she convinced herself until she would catch sight of Chuck staring at her from across the courtyard; pain etched so clearly in his exotic and beautiful features.

Blair convinced herself that he was an unfeeling bastard. No one could hurt him, especially not her. What was so special about her anyway?

So she told herself that Chuck didn't still want her. She told herself that it was all a game to him. She told herself that all he wanted was to torture her. She told herself the whole time she went to the bathroom and saw the remains of her lunch floating in front of her. Because denial was easier than admitting she was in love with a person who could never really love her back.


	15. Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate Part II

**A/N**:Second part of Thin Line. At first there was only going to be one part with three sections, but the last one just popped into my head and I couldn't resist putting it down. I'll be submitting a lot since I pretty much have no life during the summer. However, I'm trying to space out the last chapters of the first season before I can get a hold of the second season and write more.

**Summary**:Chuck couldn't tell if her inflection in her tone was seductive or vulnerable. He would take either, really. Because either way, Blair Waldorf was spending the night with him.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gossip Girl, Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf (sadly.)

* * *

**Caring**

_Yes, Nathaniel. I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back._

_So somehow you screwing Blair for sport is my fault?_

_It wasn't for sport. She needed someone and I was there._

_So you cared about her?_

Chuck didn't expect to see her that night. Nate was making the rounds at the party and he expected Blair to be salivating over him. He knew that Nate was her first love. Whatever. But that didn't stop the want coursing through his veins. That also didn't stop the surprise when she walked through his suite that night.

He wondered if he ever should have regretted handing over the key to his suite to Blair. The irony was unsettling. Giving Blair a key to seduce Nate and what she was really doing it was seducing Chuck. He didn't know if this constituted as seduction considering he had already slept with her more times than he could count. When it came to women, they usually never exceeded "one."

Chuck almost choked on his mouthful of scotch when she just appeared before him like an apparition. But spending time with her made the fact clear that she was very real. Spirits couldn't do the things she did to him. And spirits didn't feel the things that Blair let him do to her.

Chuck set his glass on the bar with a clink. For once, he had no idea where this was going. The room was already dark and he couldn't read the expression in her eyes. He needed to get closer. Things with Blair were unpredictable. He didn't like this feeling of free falling. He was so unaccustomed to it but she made him like that.

Instead, she came to him. She stepped easily out of her heels and suddenly her lips were attacking his. Whenever this happened, he found that his body froze. He couldn't comprehend that this goddess could ever want someone like him. But after the shock had subsided, what could he do but reciprocate?

He encircled her waist with her arms, making sure there was absolutely no space between them. He would give her anything that she wanted. He wondered if she even knew that. He would be the person that Nate never could be. He would care for her and never take her for granted. He couldn't understand how anyone could. Then her lips were at his ear.

"Chuck."

He couldn't help but shiver at the tone she took with him. He knew for a fact that she never used it with anyone else. She never acted the way she did with him with anyone else. It was intoxicating. He didn't know how he could be so lucky.

"Can you do something for me?"

Chuck couldn't tell if her inflection in her tone was seductive or vulnerable. He would take either, really. Because either way, Blair Waldorf was spending the night with him.

"What?" he asked breathlessly.

"Care about me," she commanded softly.

"Anything for you," he said hotly into her lips.

He never stopped.

**Eavesdropping**

_Do you know how many times I was listening in on your conversations when you thought I wasn't?_

_None, I hope._

_You hope wrong. I'm a little brother. Its what I do._

Eric peered around the corner at the sound of his sister's voice. He was glad to be back home, even if home at the moment was just The Palace Hotel.

Serena was sprawled along the couch, her long legs hanging off the edge. He couldn't see her face, but her tone indicated annoyance at whoever she was talking to on the phone. In all honesty, this would be the best entertainment all night.

"Where are you?" Serena asked.

Pause.

"Wait. You're here? Why don't you just come--"

Pause.

"...What floor are you on?"

Pause.

"Ew!"

Pause.

"What about what you said on Thanksgiving. About revenge sex--"

Whoa. Eric started. Who was she _talking _to? He ducked quickly behind the couch so he could listen comfortably without his sister knowing she was being listened to.

"So you lied to me."

Pause.

"Oh very clever, Blair. You could have just told me."

_Blair_? Serena was that good at discretion. Anyone could be listening to this conversation. And they were.

"I did _not _judge you."

Pause.

"So you're just... in his suite?" Serena asked uncomfortably. Eric could tell Serena wanted information but whatever they were talking about didn't make Serena feel that comfortable. Eric wanted to know what the information was too.

"Then why can't you just come up?"

Pause.

"Okay, wow, that was way too much information."

Pause.

"Blair, whenever I want to hang out you're... occupied. If you're trying to keep this a secret, you're not doing a very good job."

Pause.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you just come to my room for like an hour."

Pause.

"I'm not going to lie, B, that sounds like possessive behavior."

Pause.

"Well if he acts like that whenever Nate's around, maybe this isn't the most healthy relationship. And I use the term relationship lightly."

Wait. What? Blair had a new boyfriend? Wasn't she supposed to be totally in love with Nate or something? That must mean that whoever came along captured his sister's best friend's cold heart. Probably someone as cold as she was.

Not that meant anything. Blair was like a sister to him. She was actually really protective of him. It just made him wonder even more who she was with.

"_Jealous_? Please. He doesn't have that emotion. He doesn't have any, actually."

Pause.

"Right," Serena laughed. "He's just in love with you that much."

Pause.

"What," Serena said uneasily. "He's in love with you?"

Pause.

"_Butterflies_? You're kidding, right?"

Pause.

"_Cute_? Really, Blair? How can he be cute? Do you forget who we're talking about, here? Wait, your birthday? You were crying about Nate--"

This was really starting to annoy Eric. He wanted to know who they were talking about right now.

"Ew!" Serena screamed again. "Right in the bedroom at the middle of your own party? B, I don't care how many diamond necklaces he gives you, he's just trying to get you to put out."

Pause.

"Well 35,000 dollars does seem a little steep..."

Whoa. 35,000 dollars for a necklace? Who was this teenage boy who could afford that? And who wanted to? Maybe on the Upper East Side, things were a little different, but still.

There was only one that came in mind. Only one teenager who would spend money on whatever the cost for anything he wanted. But Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf together was a laughable notion. Even if they both were the most scheming, manipulative, and cold people on the Upper East--

"Guys will say anything though..." Serena's voice cut through his thoughts.

Pause.

"Gentle? Sweet? We can't be talking about the same person."

The more Eric thought about it, the more it actually seemed like they were talking about Chuck Bass. All of the qualities seemed to match up. Even if "gentle" and "sweet" didn't. But Eric was sure it was just his overactive imagination.

"How many times?" Serena exclaimed. "Blair... that's just..."

Pause.

"I didn't call you a slut. I'm just saying..."

Pause.

"What about Nate? I thought he was supposed to be the love of your life."

Pause.

"So you're happy?" Serena asked reluctantly.

Pause.

"Wow. Who knew he was the type of person to actually not cause another person misery."

Pause.

"I never thought I'd hear the day where you'd actually be defending him..."

Pause.

"Blair!" Serena shouted and Eric jumped. He was glad he had such an oblivious sister that she didn't know who was hiding behind the couch. "Are you with him right now?"

Pause.

"Yeah, I know you're in his suite but I thought he was in another room or something! God!"

The end of the conversation was just basically Serena lecturing Blair on propriety. Eric never thought he would see the day where _Serena _would be lecturing _Blair _on what was proper and what wasn't.

Eric returned to him room, deep in thought. Now that he came to think of it, there was only one other person he knew that lived at The Palace other than him and his sister. His father also happened to own the place...


	16. Blair Bitch Project

**A/N**: I've been trying to space out these chapters but I can't help but keep submitting them. Here's the Blair Bitch Project.

**Summary**:

"Wait," he said. "Didn't you hit that?" Eric watching in fascination as Chuck recoiled slightly.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything. All quotes and characters come from Gossip Girl

* * *

**Moving In**

_Constance's bad girl turned good, Serena van der Woodsen moved in with Chuck Bass._

Serena glared back at Chuck as he leered at her from across the kitchen. She really had no idea what Blair ever saw in him. He was disgusting and was probably in need of a liver. And he was staring at her. Gross.

"Glad to be moving in, Sis?" he smirked.

"I thought I told you never to call me that," Serena snapped.

"Why so testy?" he asked. "Could it be this palpable sexual tension between us?"

"You mean the same tension you had with Blair?" Serena retorted. She would never forgive Chuck for what he did to her best friend.

Something flickered across his face. Serena flashed him a triumphant smile. But something about the expression concerned her. It was almost as if he was guilty. Which means he had emotions. Which means that she was probably wrong about him and there was something there that was actually worth something. She hated it when Blair was always right. But right now Blair hated him, so of course, Serena would too.

Well, good. He should be guilty. He was a horrible person and she would be lying if she said what he did to Blair wasn't one of the main reasons why she detested him so much.

If he was guilty, though, it meant he cared. She couldn't help but going back to that. That did not bode well. No way was she letting Chuck get another crack at Blair. Maybe he just wanted to sleep with her. That was more promising, to be honest. If he actually had feelings for her, that meant he could just hurt her all the more.

"What is it, Chuck?" Serena asked innocently. "Was it something I said?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chuck rolled his eyes, returning to his customary drink. Honestly, hadn't he ever heard of liver disease? It was like 2 in the afternoon.

Serena looked at him curiously. Ever since she had learned about her potential step brother's lecherous activities with her best friend, Serena couldn't help but notice how alike they were.

He was doing that thing that Blair did, pretending something that didn't fit into his plans didn't really exist.

She was sure betraying his best friend wasn't in his plans. She hoped that wasn't the reason he outed Blair like that. She hoped that Chuck didn't blame Blair for the destruction that he instigated. He didn't have to fall to temptation. But if there was one thing that Serena knew about, it was temptation.

She didn't like how the few weeks that Blair had secretly been with Chuck, it was the happiest she had ever seen her. And then everything reverted when Blair tried to hop a jet to Paris. Chuck really knew how to screw things up.

"It couldn't be the heart wrenching guilt about a certain best friend of mine, now would it?" Serena asked. Even being in a room with Chuck was bad for her. Already she was resorting to mind games.

"You're delusional," Chuck said snidely.

This definitely was bad. He was obviously covering up his issues that he was pretending he didn't have. Serena wanted him to face them only so he would leave Blair alone.

Serena saw how he stared blatantly at Blair when they were at school. He probably still wanted the sex part of the equation but it worried her about the other parts as well.

Eric walked out of his new room and into the awkward situation: Chuck no longer leering but glaring whole heartedly at Serena's victorious expression.

"Hey," Eric said awkwardly. Immediately, Chuck wiped the look off his face and replaced it with a civil one for his new favorite brother.

That worried Serena as well. Chuck was so good at covering up his emotions, he must be good at creating them as well. She could never read Chuck. No one could. No one except Blair. And Serena hoped to God that she would never be given the chance again.

**Brenforth's House**

_Where have you been?_

_Therapy._

_For four hours?_

_Well, before I was playing Wii tennis with Chuck at this guy named Brenforth's house._

"Who?" Eric asked.

"Brenforth," Chuck smirked. "He's okay. As long as you have a pension for illegal substances."

"I thought we were going to play Wii," Eric said uncertainly. He knew that Serena pretty much hated Chuck at the moment. Eric knew that Chuck was a good person, but he also didn't want to give Serena an excuse to hate him more than she already did. Especially if illegal substances were involved. Serena would definitely not appreciate that.

"Don't worry, Brother," Chuck slung an arm around his neck. "Would I ever lead you astray?" Eric smiled at this. Chuck was really easy to be around. He had no idea what Serena's problem was.

* * *

Chuck and Brenforth were locked in a death battle. Though Chuck wasn't really an athletic sort, he seemed to be very well versed in the world of video game sports. Of course he prevailed. He was Chuck Bass.

Brenforth sighed, flinging himself on the couch.

"I don't know how you do it every time, man," he sighed.

Chuck just smiled smugly and nodded towards Eric.

"You ready?"

Eric got up and took the abandonded remote. Brenforth talked absentmindedly as Eric and Chuck played against each other. Things seemed irrelevant until the conversation took a sudden turn.

"I suppose she is pretty hot if you get past the whole bitchiness," Brenforth said thoughtfully. "I bet she's wild in bed, too."

Chuck clipped Eric's shoulder as he swung out with the remote suddenly.

"Ow," Eric said quietly, sideling away from Chuck's backhand.

"Sorry," Chuck said distractedly. He lost that round.

"Bass," Brenforth said and for some reason, Eric saw him flinch. "You lost."

Chuck looked back up at the screen. He didn't say anything.

"You okay?" Eric asked at Chuck's vacant expression. Chuck snapped his eyes back into focus and grinned wickedly at him.

"Fine," he said.

"Wait," Brenforth said. "Didn't you hit that?" Those said illegal substances were really messing with his head. He obviously wasn't talking about the game. He had one back to the previous conversation.

Eric watching in fascination as Chuck recoiled slightly. He had never seen his act this way before. But soon Chuck's apparent anxiety was gone and replaced with an indifferent look.

"I don't recall," he said simply.

"Huh," Brenforth said. "Maybe she wasn't that good. I was thinking of taking that for a spin."

Eric gauged Chuck's reaction again. Chuck looked emotionless but he noticed his jaw clench as though he were trying to gain control as he clenched his fists.

"Maybe you're not really her type," Chuck said smoothly. "She already went through that brand of stoner."

Ouch.

Eric knew Chuck was trying to make amends with Nate, but that was kind of harsh. But it made sense. Why else would Serena hate Chuck? Everyone knew it was him who sent the blast. He didn't know what he would do if that happened to his best friend.

But Eric couldn't find it in himself to hate Chuck. Looking at him now, it was obvious the guy was suffering. He was actually protecting Blair from a predator. But mabe it was just jealousy. That was becoming clearer and clearer to Eric.

"Well she can't have that high of a standard," Brenforth said offhandedly. "She went with you."

Chuck smirked cordially. But as soon as Brenforth turned his expression turned hard and almost angry.

Eric couldn't get Chuck's discomfort out of his head. Serena was wrong. There really was more to Chuck. Blair had obviously seen that. He wondered if she ever would again. After all, he liked Chuck. And Chuck obviously still liked Blair.

**Defense**

_No wonder you're friendless and girlfriendless. Your own father expects the worst from you._

"You said what?" Blair asked in astonishment.

"He used my brother as a drug mule!" Serena protested.

"Except not," Blair rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't even matter," Serena defended herself. "He's back living with us now. And why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't," Blair said a little too harshly.

"Uh huh," Serena nodded, not convinced. But she was worried about her friend. The first time was bad enough but Serena didn't want Blair falling in that trap again.

Serena sighed and fell back against the pillows.

"Did you really tell Chuck that his own father hates him?" Blair asked quietly.

"It was a crime of passion," Serena said shamefully.

"You really shouldn't say things like that."

"This coming from the girl who told every Ivy school that I had a drug problem," Serena said fondly. Blair could be Blair, but she still loved her.

"Crime of passion," Blair said back. "You don't know how lucky you are."

"What does that mean?" Serena asked in confusion.

"You don't know what its like to have a parent who is constantly on your case. You do your best to please them and win their approval, but it's never enough."

"Somehow I don't think we're talking about Chuck anymore." Blair rolled her eyes at the mention of his name. She really was resisting too much. Some things were just obvious, even to Serena.

"I can't believe you're defending the guy who told the entire school about your private life."

"Crime of passion," Blair said distantly. Serena wasn't about to ask what the hell that meant. One thing was for sure. Chuck and Blair were so not over each other.

"And I know that your charming step brother is back living with you," Blair muttered after.

"What?" Serena asked. Uh oh. He was back a day and Serena coud tell that Chuck already did something.

"It was sort of difficult to ignore when I went to get something to drink and he was just there, downing a scotch like he didn't have a liver to lose."

"What happened?" Serena asked in interest.

"Nothing!"

Somehow Serena didn't believe her.


	17. Desperately Seeking Serena

**A/N**: Wow. I am so glad of all the reviews I received from the last chapter. Since so many of you wanted the next chapter and I already wrote it like months ago, here it is. I'm so glad that you're enjoying these stories because I love writing them. I hope you like this one as much as you seemed to enjoy the last time. Again, some of these might seem like a stretch, but I just love writing them, so here you go.

**Summary:** Serena sighed. "I couldn't understand how she could be with someone like you. But then I figured it out. She just needed someone to care about her. Not take her for granted. I just never dreamed that would be you."

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the quites, characters, or anything of that nature of Gossip Girl. I beta this myself, so all mistakes are obviously mine.

* * *

**Eye Sex**

_She really needs to tone down the social niceties. It's embarrassing._

_Eventually the two of you are going to have to work out your issues._

_What issues? I'm issue free._

He was heading straight for her. Probably a bad idea in retrospect, but there was just something about the headband he admired that matched his vibrant trench coat that just pulled him in. Once again.

That girl had an unnatural way of mesmerizing him and he wasn't kidding when he promised himself that he would forget her. But then again, he was still heading straight for her.

She was talking quietly to Serena and he just couldn't look away from her face. It was full of determination. He could also see a hint of scheming there that he found irresistible. That bitch.

Chuck hadn't even noticed the blonde in the doorway when he was about to make his way over the girl who destroyed the heart he never thought he had. And he destroyed hers in turn.

His eyes snapped to the left when he felt a flirtatious hand on his chest. He looked and saw some faceless blonde with an unremarkable smile. He'd seen these before. Boring. What he really wanted was a challenge and that only came in the form of Blair Waldorf. Even after all this time, the lifetime that he had known her, she never ceased to amaze him.

He didn't miss her eyes quickly scan his body before looking down again. So she still noticed him. Good. It was only fair that he didn't suffer alone.

Now that he had shaken off that slut of a blonde he could return his penetrating gaze to the only person who mattered.

Blair was quickly gathering her things, readying herself to flee. There was a strange sense of pride that enlightened Chuck when he realized that he was the only one who could make the Queen Bitch nervous. That was a good thing.

She paused to trade a few words with her best friend. He could tell she was saying something snarky by her smile. That was captivating as well. She stood haughtily to her feet, rising to her full height which to be quite honest, did not intimidate Chuck. But he loved that about her anyway.

As soon as she met his form again, the smile from her face immediately dissipated and she threw him the most evil glare he had ever seen. He would be lying if he thought that she wasn't downright gorgeous like that.

She walked straight at him without a moment's hesitation. Why did this woman have such a hold over him?

She never broke eye contact with him as she passed him and the blonde he had just dismissed. He couldn't look away. Problematic at best, but he still couldn't get enough of her. She let him know her feelings by one more hateful look before she passed him completely.

She probably thought it was hate. He knew better that he understood it was sexual tension. What he would give to have her in the back of his limo again.

Chuck cast a look at her retreating form, not able to suppress the amazement that overcame him. She was perfect. And he was an idiot.

Sitting down to his soon-to-be-step sister, he couldn't help but throw out a comment about the obsession he still harbored. Of course he would make it sound like Blair was the one obsessed with him. A Bass could dream.

Serena wasn't really paying attention anyway. Not that he could expect any different. He was glad that she didn't notice how he was constantly leering at her best friend. It was bad for the rep.

Though one comment did surprise him. He didn't have a problem with Blair. Quite the opposite, actually. He was just having sexual arousing dreams about her since Spring Break ended. She just kept catching up with him.

Serena wasn't known for her observations, but he supposed she would notice her best friend's angst. He couldn't let on to Serena that he was still nursing a major like- sickness for the Ice Queen. So he lied.

"What issues? I'm issue free."

**Saving Serena**

_Hearing you scream my name is more than enough. I'll take care of it and pick you up in ten._

Chuck groaned under Serena's drunken weight. And not in the good way. Not only was the power of the multiple cosmos she had overpowering, but he perfume was too concentrated. He was used to the subtlety of a certain… but he wasn't going to think about _her_. Not now. Not ever.

"God, van der Woodsen," Chuck muttered. "What did you ingest?" Serena just mumbled incoherently as Chuck skillfully avoided the evil Georgina Sparks.

He really detested Whore-gina. Even more than himself which was hard to believe. But quite honestly, she was a bit of the stalker. He had been avoiding her ever since he had swiped his v-card in her slot and that was good enough for him.

His virginity wasn't really important. Not memorable enough. He was glad he used protection, though. He didn't know what the hell kind of maladies that psycho was a carrier of.

Quiet frankly, virginities didn't mean anything to him at all. Except for one. But he was vastly forgetting that. Or trying too. Too bad Serena seemed to be oddly observant when she was drunk. Or just talkative.

"Chuck…" she moaned in the back of the limo. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend it was someone else. But their voices contrasted too greatly. And he wasn't a weak person. He wouldn't stoop that low. "My head hurts."

"Remember when I said you moaning my name were more than enough?" Chuck asked tiredly. "Well I forgot to factor in how annoying you are when you're drunk. I take it back."

"You came anyway," Serena said.

"You're family," Chuck merely shrugged.

"I'm sorry I hated you for a long time," Serena admitted. Chuck didn't like where this was going. He didn't do drunken confessions very well.

"I just didn't understand why you could be so hateful. But then I realized that you're really not. You hurt just like the rest of us."

"Very perceptive," Chuck cut in. Now he definitely didn't like where this was going.

"You were good to her," Serena murmured, "weren't you?"

Chuck didn't answer. He couldn't. At the very end, he wasn't good to her at all. He wasn't good for her. He was spiteful.

"That's the only thing I could come up with, anyway," Serena sighed. "I couldn't understand how she could be with someone like you. But then I figured it out. She just needed someone to care about her. Not take her for granted. I just never dreamed that would be you."

"No, you thought that would be Perfect Nate," Chuck uttered darkly before he could stop himself. Serena stared at him for a second.

"Oh my god."

Oh my god? That didn't sound good. She didn't think that Chuck actually lo—

"Oh my god."

Oh my god. Chuck threw open the door of his precious limo just in time so Serena's vomit didn't stain his sacred leather interior. He didn't know what he would do if it was desecrated.

He didn't know what he would do if Serena ever found out. So for now he just held her hair back as she vomited. At least the scent wasn't embedded in the leather. No, that would be saved for something else.

**SAT's**

_You paid someone to take the SAT for you and that's the best you can do?_

_What are you talking about?  
I'm talking about the five foot nothing red head claiming to be Serena van der Woodsen. I'm pretty sure that wasn't you._

_Chuck. What did you do? I told you to keep the doors open. When I got there they were closed._

_Yeah, they don't keep the doors open. I was thinking on my feet, just trying to help._

Chuck considered himself a diplomat. He was very good at negotiating. However, the secretary at Hunter College was a real piece of work. He only knew one other person who was that difficult.

He ran his hands through his hair. The doors were going to close soon so he did the only thing he could think of. He broke the rules. And he waited.

He was about to make his hasty escape before anyone spotted the real Chuck Bass who wasn't taking the test before he had a full collision with Fate. Or in this case, Blair Waldorf.

Chuck looked directly into beautiful dark eyes and wished that he hadn't. She just stared at him. The hallway was clearing and soon it would be just them. Chuck didn't know if he could take that at the moment.

He quickly noticed how she currently analyzed his current outfit. Apparently he passed. He didn't know what that said about him that he was relieved. And he didn't know why they were just standing there, not saying anything.

"And here I thought you were paying someone to take it for you," she finally said. He was glad she did. Now he knew were they stood. Now he could banter with her.

"Don't worry about me," he replied. "You know I don't disappoint."

"Then what are you even doing here?" Blair asked sharply.

"We can't all be upstanding citizens like your precious Nathaniel."

He was satisfied by the glare she cast him. It hit a nerve. Then her facial expression changed strangely.

"No we can't," she said distantly, a far off look in her mesmerizing. Chuck was taken aback. Was the Queen actually categorizing herself with the likes of him? Interesting.

"Well," Chuck said awkwardly. "You don't want to be late for your future." He always knew what made her tick. He turned to leave when she grasped his arm.

"Wait," she said softly.

No. He wasn't about to let up this time. He couldn't. He couldn't fall victim to her again, no matter how much he wanted it.

"I haven't seen Serena."

"So?" Chuck asked. He realized he was a little too hasty. That girl saw everything.

"So…" she said, looking at him curiously. "You are her brother for all intents and purposes. Do you know where she is?"

Chuck hesitated too long. She almost looked triumphant.

"No." It was useless. He could never fool this woman. He tried to slide away from her but she tightened her deathgrip.

"Where?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chuck sneered, finally wrenching away from her. He turned his back on her, trying to convince himself that was the way it would be. He knew he was wrong though. He could never turn his back on her.

"Chuck."

He had to stop at the sound of his name. It brought back too many memories. He used to love the way she would utter it throatily. But he couldn't have that anymore. He didn't turn but he knew she would come.

He felt her hand softly on his purple jacket.

"Just…" Blair tried to articulate. Chuck couldn't help but look into her deep, worried eyes.

"Just take care of her," she finally said. "Okay? If there's anyone I would trust with Serena's life, it will always be you."

Somehow Blair was fully aware that Serena was in trouble. He watched in awe as she retreated to her future like he so urged her before. At least she was still listening to him.


	18. All About My Brother Part I

**A/N:** So this is the first part of All About My Brother. The first scene is more what my Chair loving mind wished happened, but I tried as much as I could to connect it. When you read the next chapter, it gets more into the first scene, the things that happened in between if that makes any sense. The quotes may not seem like they match up, but its good enough.

**Summary**: On the surface, she was perfect. Decked in pristine wardrobe and perfect everything, planned down to the headband. Underneath, she wasn't so pure at all. Well, she was. She was pure, unadulterated evil. And he liked it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything from Gossip Girl or the quotes used.

* * *

**After Monte Carlo**

_Are you still sad Mom wouldn't let you go to Monte Carlo for the bachelor party?_

Chuck knocked back the shot in encouragement from the raucous laughter of the boisterous bachelor party. And it wasn't enough. Usually it was. Usually he could forget all of his troubles and just drown himself in a pool of alcohol. But he was having problems.

All the stupid strippers were brunette. What the hell was that? Its called diversity. Get some redheads or something.

This was how the whole party went. He had outdone himself. Really, he had. But after all the planning and hardwork and he was actually here, enjoying his handywork, he just couldn't. That bitch had done a number on him. This was rediculous.

All the parties, drinking, and "exotic" dancers weren't doing a damn thing. So he did what he would always do in a situation like this. He took a girl up to his room.

Like that did any help. He was almost glad when Eric inturrupted with a phone call. Stupid Eric and his wisdom. Now Chuck would be forced to think.

Chuck came home early. His father (surprise, surprise) actually had business in Monte Carlo. Seriously, who does that? What sort of warped person actually does business deals at their bachelor party?

Chuck knew at his, he would be exploiting it for all he was worth. But then again, he wouldn't be going to his own bachelor party. Because he definitely wasn't thinking pathetically of a petite brunette in white.

And he definitely wasn't standing outside of some Asher Hornby's party after he told Eric on the phone that he was coming home early for unspecified reasons that Eric immediately caught on to.

And he definitely wasn't looking at the most gorgeous sight he had ever seen. She was a used Arabian, remember? Not his other half or whatever they were calling it these days.

One other thing. He definitely wasn't drunk out of his mind after the flight on his private jet where he attempted to sleep with all of the brunette strippers that had a striking resemblance to one newly instated Queen B. Apparently they weren't convincing enough. He was still fighting off major fantasies as he watched the one woman that he would ever miss slink down the stairs. She didn't see him yet.

Blair sighed in triumph as she descended the deserted staircase. She had her throne back and nothing could derail her now. Nothing except the possible appearance of the only man to get her blood going. But he wasn't going to be here. He was in Monte Carlo. Right?

Blair froze at the sudden scent of concentrated scotch. She couldn't feel more compromised. He was here and she knew it. She commanded her body to make a break for it, but her body was having other ideas. Other ideas that entailed having her temperature spike and her adrenaline rush. Stupid emotions.

"You were so hot up there," came the throaty drawl. His mouth was pressed against her ear as he shoved her body against the wall. Blair attempted to stifle a groan (definitely at the contact of the wall and not someone else) but she knew that was for naught when she heard him chuckle.

Blair tried to squirm away from him but it just seemed to encourage him. The alcohol stench was overpowering but somehow, she liked it. He smelled so… Chuck. She hated herself for missing it. Soon thoughts of Vanessa entering Nate's town car at Hunter College completely vanished. Nate Who?

"I knew you'd bounce back," he slurred. Wow, he was drunk. "Regaining your throne looks good on you, Waldorf."

"No thanks to you," she finally found her words. "Partying it up in Monte Carlo, Bass? Or were your whores not even good enough to keep you company."

"They weren't," he said honestly, still not breaking the hard embrace. "Not when I kept thinking of you."

"Back off," she snapped, trying unsuccessfully to throw him off of her. Damn, he was always stronger than her.

"See," Chuck said, "I think you're racing heart is proof enough that you want exactly the opposite."

"Unfortunately for you, I'm going home," Blair said the only thing she could think of in response.

"I heard." She could feel his smirk. "Did I ever tell you how sexy you are when you're a bitch?" Blair continued to struggle but Chuck caught her wrists, pinning them to the wall, parallel to her shoulders.

"You feel so good squirming against me," he uttered roughly. Blair clamped her mouth shut, making sure she didn't make anymore sounds that could be misconstrued as full of pleasure.

"What, no Arabian quips?" Blair bit back harshly. This didn't overturn Chuck like she hoped it would. He really was her match. She hated him.

"Nothing comes to mind," he said raucously. Blair turned her head away, closing her eyes against his charms. It wasn't working as well as she hoped. His mouth still found her.

"Except for the fact I have never wanted anyone more in my life." Blair's toes curled at the obvious complement. It was strange. Chuck was gross and lecherous but she never felt more flattered when he threw things like that at her.

"And that I want that dress on the floor of my limo."

She felt one of his hands tighten around the bracelet on her wrist while the other slowly slid up her side and toyed with the pearls that adorned her neck.

"You have never looked more beautiful, Waldorf."

And when it was when he said things like that, he made her want to believe him. Bass-tard.

Blair hated that she couldn't think of responses tonight. Not to mention that she was sure any minute now her minions would probably catch her in this compromising situation.

"Blair," he said huskily. She couldn't articulate a response. "It's okay; you don't have to say anything. Your body does it for you." Blair almost propelled him off of her. Almost.

"I heard you in there. You protected him. No one else would have done that. You care about him like I do."

"Your point?" Blair asked scathingly. She hated it. She hated how they were so similar and how he liked that she protected his step brother.

"I couldn't stop watching you," he said in his low seductive tone. Blair tried to stop her eyes from rolling into the back of her head.

His hands dug into her hips and she couldn't make her exhale quiet this time. She felt him smirking into her hair.

"I never forgot you," he breathed.

"That's surprising," Blair managed. "All those strippers at that bachelor party must have been hard to hold off."

"I told you," he said silkily. "They don't even compare to you. Even when I did go with them, I couldn't stop pretending that they were you."

"Well that's very flattering," Blair seethed, though secretly thrilled. "You think of me when you're sleeping with hookers."

Blair let out one tiny sigh which emitted a groan from Chuck. He pressed his body even closer to hers and she was suddenly painfully aware of how aroused he was. And how she was too.

She also couldn't help but remember his stamina and how impressive it was that when he was that drunk he could not only formulate complete sentences, but also make her want to shed her clothes for him right now.

Chuck's mouth found her neck. Not good. She knew she could never trust her body when it came to him.

Blair resisted for as long as she could (which in retrospect was only about two seconds.) Against her best judgment, she leaned back her turned head and Chuck got the message. He pressed his lips fervently to hers and she never wanted him to stop. She didn't care that he tasted like scotch. It was probably better that he was drunk out of his mind and wouldn't remember this in the morning.

She knew drinking only made Chuck Bass more like Chuck Bass. He just became more powerful. She knew this was what he was really feeling. But she couldn't let him in. She couldn't give in because she was sure he would just hurt her again, like she hurt him. But for a few minutes, she let him love her.

Chuck's hands found themselves tangled in her hair while she had grabbed his bow tie just to pull him closer. But being Chuck Bass, he always had to ruin the moment.

"I knew you still wanted me," he whispered huskily. Then Blair found leverage to shove him away. He stumbled drunkenly. Blair almost went over to steady him but she knew how that would turn out.

Blair could see his eyes for the first time in the dark stairwell. They were triumphant like she was. And there that was. They were the same.

Chuck just pursued his lips and not so subtly checked her out again.

"You're too easy to read, Waldorf," Chuck said simply. "It's only a matter of time."

"Keep your fantasies to yourself, Chuck," she sneered.

"Ah," he sighed. "I always did love the way you say my name." Blair shoved past him and Chuck couldn't resist grazing her body with his hand.

Blair spun in the doorway and leaned against it seductively. Not for one second did Chuck delude himself into thinking that she was giving in. They were the same and he knew her too well. She was too hot, too sexy, to perfect. For him.

"Get a good look," she said, her tone changed somehow. "Because that's the last one you'll ever get."

"Care to make a wager?" he smirked. Blair knew better than to bet on a Bass.

"See you around," Blair rolled her eyes and walked out of the door.

"I'm counting on it," Chuck said after her.

**Snow White**

_It was just Blair._

_Oh, how is Snow White?_

_Snow not so white. Did you hear that she and—_

_Eric!_

Chuck ducked around the corner and held his breath. He could almost smell the overpriced perfume and whiskey from here. To his relief, Georgina Sparks passed right by him. He exhaled when he heard that cutting tone.

"What are you doing?"

Chuck started as he turned.

There, with hands haughtily (sexily?) places on her hips was Blair Waldorf (Nate'sNate'sNate's.)

"Waldorf," Chuck said smoothly. "Care to join me?"

Blair looked idly in distain at the dark corner and just rolled her eyes.

"Hiding again?"

"I am not _hiding_," he said scornfully.

"Really?" she asked skeptically. "So that wasn't the whore herself I saw just pass here like she was looking for someone?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Chuck said, pushing himself off the wall.

"Don't fool yourself, Bass," Blair sighed. "Everyone knows you slept with her."

Chuck looked at her curiously. He decided he liked her. Not in a weird way that would surely have him pinned against his own limo by Nate's forceful hand if _that_ thought ever entered his mind, but she sure was fascinating.

On the surface, she was perfect. Decked in pristine wardrobe and perfect everything, planned down to the headband. Underneath, she wasn't so pure at all. Well, she was. She was pure, unadulterated evil. And he liked it.

"Snow White."

Chuck grimaced. If he hadn't found the time to chat with his stupid best friend's stupid girlfriend, he wouldn't be in the predicament.

Blair turned confidently to stare Georgina down.

"That's more than I can say for you," Blair said piquantly. Georgina sneered.

"Hanging around the wrong crowd, are we?" she asked, her eyes flashing at Chuck

"Again," Blair smirked. "More than I can say for you. You didn't think the rest of us wouldn't see you two stumbling out of the bathroom at that gala, did you?"

Chuck clenched his jaw but he knew Blair was getting the job done. There was just something about her… Wait, no. No there wasn't.

Chuck couldn't stop staring at Blair. Why the hell was she (sort of?) protecting him? It was weird. Like the sudden non hostile feelings he was having towards her. Strange indeed.

"And Georgina," Blair said sweetly. "No one likes a stalker."

Chuck took that as his cue to split. He didn't like girls fighting his battles for him, but he was glad someone actually cared enough to do it for him. His pride and his laziness did put up quite a fight against each other at times.

Georgina grabbed Blair's arm after Chuck's retreat. Blair scrunched her nose and wrenched her arm away. She didn't want to get Hepatitis.

"You're delusional," Georgina said. Blair just looked at her, matching her barb for barb. It was the battle of the two bitchiest Park Avenue Princesses.

"_I'm_ delusional?" Blair asked skeptically. "You're the one who won't leave Chuck alone. You do know he doesn't bang a girl twice, right?"

"Please," Georgina said. "Chuck and I haven't done anything since more than a year ago." 7th grade? Gross. That was about the time that Chuck started… oh, ew.

"That wasn't what I was talking about, anyway."

"And what were you talking about?" Blair parried.

"About you, Snow White," she smiled, showing her canines. Freak. "The sudden 'friendship' between you and Chuck Bass is definitely not what it seems."

"Chuck and I are not friends," Blair defended herself. She would die before she even admitted to having conversations with him… which she did seem to be doing more frequently. Strange indeed.

"No," Georgina said thoughtfully. "You'll never be just friends. You're too alike."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Blair snapped, a little too defensively. Georgina showed that predatory grin again.

"You'll see," she said confidently. "Things between you and the golden prince can't last forever."

Blair stared after Georgina as she retreated. No way would she ever be more than mere acquaintances with Chuck. No way would she have a secret affair with him or dance with him at his father's wedding. And he definitely wouldn't sabotage the ballots at Prom just so she'd win. She was certain he wouldn't show up from Europe, either, a week after graduation to tell her that he loved her. No. That was impossible. She was sure of it.


	19. All About My Brother Part II

**A/N**: Here's the last chapter for All About My Brother. The first segment goes more in depth to the circumstances before Chuck went to Asher's party. And I just love a drunk Chuck. After this, the episodes will be getting more parts partly because I still don't know if I'm getting season two or not, but they also had a lot of material for me to work with.

**Summary**: He closed his eyes against her soothing voice. She didn't sound broken anymore. She sounded strong and beautiful. He wondered what she was wearing.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. All rights go to GG

* * *

**Calls**

_Who were you talking to?_

_Chuck. _

_You called Chuck?_

_Yeah, I've been talking to him a lot lately. The guy's got his faults but he's never judged me._

The bachelor party certainly had exceeded expectations, even though he was the one who planned it. He was disappointed that Lily hadn't let Chuck's newest friend come along and that certainly put a damper on things. Bart seemed to be less severe when there were other people around.

Bart was as detached as usual but Chuck knew he was enjoying himself. He was a Bass, after all.

Good thing he was a Bass, because it allowed Chuck to slip away with one of the strippers for the night.

"Drunk" was an understatement in this situation. He could tell because on many occasions he had sworn he had seen a certain perfect brunette smiling back at him when really it was just Kandy, or Crystal, or whatever her stupid name was. It was fake, anyway and if he paid her enough, there was a good chance that she would let him call her Blair.

But he's not that desperate. Not yet.

She tasted like smoke. It was beyond disgusting. He couldn't help but think the irony since he tasted smoke all the time and the only time he didn't like it was when he tasted it on another woman's lips.

Fortunately, that's when his phone decides to vibrate. He knows its unlikely that a certain girl will be calling him but he looks anyway.

Eric. Good enough. He pushes the girl off of him.

"Brother," Chuck slurred drunkenly. But he's not drunk. From Eric's weak laugh, he knows he is.

"Hey, Chuck," came the soft sigh. Immediately, he almost gets sober. Something's wrong.

"Get out," he growled at the woman. He's paying her; she'll do what he says.

"Is this a bad time?" Eric asked.

"No," Chuck replied.

"'Cause it sounded like—"

"What happened?" Chuck asked immediately.

"Did you know Georgina's in town?" Eric asked cryptically. Chuck laid his head back on the pillow. Georgina had to make her move when he was doing his best to have the time of his life. Typical.

"What did she do?"

Pause.

"On the bright side, the anxiety of telling my mom and Serena is over."

Damn.

"When I get back, that whore is going down," Chuck threatened.

"That's not because of me, is it?" Eric asked.

"What?" He was too drunk to read between the lines.

"Well she went after me and Serena, but she's always held a grudge against—"

"I'm not talking about her," Chuck said darkly.

"That's probably good," Eric said thoughtfully. "Serena stopped me from telling Georgina about you two."

"What?" Chuck asked again.

"Sorry," Eric laughed. "Thanks, Chuck."

"For what?" he asked. "For drunkenly listening to your problems with no suggestions of my own?"

"You're the only one who really knows," Eric said nonchalantly.

"What?" Chuck said in confusion. Eric had to know he was having mental problems right now.

"You should see her now," Eric mused. "She's actually started a war with Jenny and the other girls. It's hard to pick sides when you're friends with both."

Chuck thought he got it. Chuck was the only one who understood what it was like to be… Chuck.

"Really?" Chuck asked, intrigued, and somehow feelings more sober now. Things were becoming clearer.

"There's a party tonight," Eric said. "I think I might go."

"My innocent little brother for a night of debauchery?" Chuck smirked.

"Asher's throwing it," Eric said quietly. "Which means Jenny will be there. Which means Blair will probably crash it."

"She doesn't seem the type," Chuck drawled. Eric knew they weren't talking about Jenny.

"When it comes to social destruction, Blair's up for anything."

Chuck smiled. He remembered.

"And you remember what she used to say," Eric continued. "The most important parties to attend are the ones you're not invited to."

"I'd like to see that catfight," Chuck murmured.

"Thanks for helping Serena, Chuck," Eric said.

"You're too observant for your own good," Chuck said. Eric laughed.

"You're not as bad as they all say," Eric said. "And I know I'm not the first one who thought so."

"Things change," Chuck said softly.

"The day Chuck Bass stops scheming is the day I'll stop giving everyone advice," Eric replied. Chuck laughed throatily.

"I didn't mean to," Chuck said, more to himself. Eric listened. "I just couldn't be a last resort. And I couldn't see her with him."

"It's okay," Eric assured him like Chuck always made him feel better.

"I did what I do best," Chuck said bitterly. "I destroyed everything."

"I'm sure she'll forgive you," Eric said.

"Have you met her?" Chuck asked quizzically.

"Have you?" Eric threw back. "She'd be too much of a hypocrite if she didn't."

"Don't worry about it, Eric," Chuck changed the subject quickly before things got too emotional. "I'm coming back and until then, just…"

"Yeah," Eric said. He got it.

Even though Eric knew Chuck would take care of things, he also knew that he wasn't the only reason. He may have been the main reason, but he wasn't the only one. And for that, he knew he could trust Chuck because, unbeknownst to everyone else, he actually cared about something.

Chuck didn't like being drunk and talking to people. It got really bad things into his head that he shouldn't be thinking. Thinking about people he shouldn't. Feeling about people he shouldn't.

So he drunk dialed her.

"Bass…"

He closed his eyes against her soothing voice. She didn't sound broken anymore. She sounded strong and beautiful. He wondered what she was wearing.

"Waldorf," he greeted as soberly as he could manage which was pretty damn convincing.

"You're drunk," she accused immediately. Damn. How did she always know?

"Now why would you say a thing like that?" he asked easily, but knowing scotch dripped off of his every word.

"Why are you calling?" she asked in a dull tone. "Didn't you get your kicks in before?"

That stung a little. But not enough. Not enough for him to hang up like she wanted.

"I just thought you should know that I'm coming back to town," he said casually.

"Where are you?" she asked suddenly.

"On the Bass jet," he smirked, looking out at the landscape from the plane's window.

"Exhausted all the hookers in Monte Carlo?" Blair asked brightly. Vixen.

"Checking up on me?" Chuck asked playfully.

"Or are the stewardesses next on Chuck Bass's victim list?"

"Ask me whose next?" he offered.

"Trying to make me jealous?" she snapped.

"Is it working?"

"You wish."

"I wish it was you."

Hesitation.

"Why are you calling?" she finally asked.

"I told you," he said simply.

"You did," Blair said softly. "So why are you still talking?"

"Would you want me to be doing something else?" he parried.

"Nothing comes to mind," she said bluntly.

"I just thought you should know so you could take cover."

"You're already on the jet," Blair said dismissively. "Not much time to brace myself."

"You could brace yourself for something else," he said smoothly.

"You're drunk," she just said again.

"And I plan to get drunker, still," he said lecherously.

"Glad to hear it," she said in annoyance.

"I just thought you should know since I will be landing in a matter of hours."

"What?" Blair asked in surprise. Confusion seemed to be the emotion of the night. She didn't know that he was that close.

"See you, Waldorf." He hung up. He would make good on that promise.

**Virgin**

_So was it as special as you though it would be?_

_Because yours totally wasn't._

These insipient debutantes were getting really boring. Like, in a large way. The only one who had yet to bore him was Blair Waldorf. And he didn't even sleep with her. (He neglected to put _yet_ on the end of that sentence because, really, why would she? She was perfect and he just… wasn't. Not to mention that she was practically engaged to his best friend.)

Blair always told him he could never stop his ways of bedding socialites and of course, him being Chuck, had to disagree with her just for a challenge.

He got mad at Blair that night. She was being a raging bitch. More than usual. Maybe Nate forgot her birthday or something… even if that was November and this was September… of the following year. He hated how he knew her birthday.

She was too busy making out with a clueless Nate anyway.

She told him that he would never change and then had the gall to flounce around in her adorable fall stockings, admirable headband, and worshipped dress. But whatever.

That's when he saw her. She was brunette enough. Petite enough. She was little tall, but that didn't really matter when they were lying horizontal. Her nose was more arched than Blair's and she was so obviously in love with Nate. Well at least she and Blair had that in common. Maybe that was why Penelope Shafai hated Blair so much. Or maybe it was just because Blair goaded Chuck into taking Penelope's virginity.

Penelope had been one of Blair's projects once upon a time and Chuck couldn't for the life of him figure out why he wanted to bang a Blair wannabe. Maybe just to prove she was wrong. Get back at her. Anything. He didn't know why this would show Blair, but as always, he was just going to follow his instincts.

Chuck grabbed her hand and pulled her into a dark compartment at the party. Maybe it was a bedroom. He wasn't really sure. He was wasted. Maybe that was why she looked so much like Blair. (Why did he care, again?)

He pressed her against the bed frame and before she could protest her dress was on the floor. She had vibrant stockings like Blair, but not the same garters. (What was this comparing her with Blair?)

She was a virgin. That was enough for him. It made him feel like he won. It was over fast, to be honest. A hell of a lot faster than he was accustomed to. He was known for his stamina. But Penelope was not experienced at all and the point was merely to show that Chuck was always on top. Metaphorically and literally. Smirk.

Chuck sauntered out of the room, straightening his bow tie. Nate was nowhere to be seen. But he looked up and there she was, glaring hatefully at him. And what was that about?

He wanted to tease her about being jealous.

"I hope she was satisfactory," she said before he got a chance.

"She was alright," he said manically. "She was inexperienced, after all."

"And I hope not too clingy," Blair said causally, looking over Chuck's shoulder.

Chuck whipped around and saw Penelope was staring enviously at Blair. Chuck looked back at Blair who was smiling confidently.

"You sure showed me, Bass," she said nastily.

"Don't worry, Waldorf," he sneered. "You won't always be on top." A part of him wondered, though, what that would be like.


	20. Woman On the Verge Part I

**A/N**: So here's the first part of Woman on the Verge. From now on there will be more parts. I could make them fit, but I still don't know when I'm getting season 2, so these will just have to last until I do. The first one is sort of a call back to when Chuck was drunk and went to see Blair at Asher's party, so keep that in mind. Also, the next part is connected to this part so if you can, rea them one after another so things will be more connected.

**Summary**: She was out partying while he was sitting alone like the pathetic person that he was. How did she always get the best of him? God, he wanted her.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or quotes or anything of that nature. Everything goes to the light of my life, Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Drunk Dialing**

_Are you drunk dialing again?_

Chuck shouldn't have picked up the phone. Or rather, he should have wished he shouldn't have picked up the phone. In reality, he had missed the sultry allure of her sexy voice. Even though he wasn't admitting it.

He didn't have to come up with a witty opening. She took the words right out of his mouth.

"I just wanted you to know something," she announced loudly over the even louder music. In that instant, Chuck knew his Ice Queen was wasted beyond belief. He wished he was there to see it. From his recollection, when Blair started knocking back the champagne, she liked shedding her clothes on burlesque stages.

"And what would that be?" Chuck asked in amusement.

"How was Monte Carlo?" she asked strangely, like she knew something. He remembered the bachelor party well enough. He remembered how he pretended every woman he slept with was her. But the ride back was a different story. He just remembered calling Eric and then waking up in his own bed. Strange.

"Quite satisfactory," he said in his low tone that suggested more than satisfactory.

"I'm glad," she sighed sweetly.

That did not sound good. That didn't mean he wasn't about to exploit it.

"How glad?" he breathed.

"Gross, Chuck," she slurred slightly. He loved the way she said is name. It was even sexier when she was drunk.

"How drunk are you right now?" Chuck taunted. He heard her scoff several times on the other end of the line.

"I am not drunk," she swore. Yeah. He could tell how she couldn't complete her syllables.

"Oh really?" he asked skeptically. "You forget that I know you better than anyone, Waldorf."

"You wish, Bass," Blair retorted.

"I don't have to," Chuck leaned back against his bed. He couldn't help but marvel how it was so long since he actually enjoyed sex. Of course, it was pleasurable, but it would never be up to par with what he had what seemed like eons ago.

"So what was it that you had to tell me?" he finally asked.

"What?" Blair asked in confusion. He chuckled. She was so innocent when she was loaded.

"You called to tell me something," he prodded.

"Oh," Blair laughed. "Well that's easy."

"And what would that be?" he asked.

"I just wanted you to know, Chuck Bass—" he loved the way she said his name like that "—that I have recently won the battle over my own thrown and have therefore defied you in every way possible."

Chuck was actually aware of this new development. And he had to admit that it got him wanting her more and more.

When he compared her to an Arabian in the bar that night, he really hadn't meant it. He was just lashing out. It was a dance she knew all too well herself.

However, it had become obvious to him that he could never really be over her. He never stopped wanting her, but watching her be that ravishing bitch he had always lov—(what—not loved. What was he thinking?) made him want to call Arthur and deposit him right in her room where he could show her so.

Obviously, though, she wasn't in her room right now. She was out partying while he was sitting alone like the pathetic person that he was. How did she always get the best of him? God, he wanted her.

"And I congratulate you," Chuck said.

"Oh, so you already knew?" Chuck didn't know if that was disappointment at not being able to gloat properly, or being flattered that he was well informed about her. He was hoping for the latter.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he said simply.

"Of course you are," Blair snapped suddenly. He forgot how nasty she could be when she got drunk. He didn't care.

"But not only that…" Blair announced, getting over Chuck's proclamation.

"Oh, there's more?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes, there's more," Blair said. "Now shut up and let me talk."

"Hey," he said, "you called me. You should be nice to me."

"I didn't call you to be nice to you," Blair stressed. "I called you to tell you that I have officially gotten over you and your presence is no longer needed in my life. So there."

This shouldn't have bothered Chuck. He didn't care about her. She was a bitch who left him high and dry for his best friend, only to come crawling back to him as a second choice. But it did. And it would have bothered him more if she wasn't so completely trashed. However, she was. And who was she talking to but him? She could have drunkenly called up Nate but she didn't. She was still stuck on him and she was only trying to relieve herself. He wasn't about to let it happen. He did know her better than he knew himself, after all.

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," Chuck said, trying to cover up his hurt.

"Why?" Blair demanded, angry that her façade wasn't convincing enough.

"Because you're still talking to me," he said simply. "What else do you have to say to me, Blair?"

"Nothing," Blair said quickly.

"That's why you haven't hung up yet," Chuck supplied.

Pause.

"I hate you Chuck Bass."

And Chuck knew it was far from the truth.

"Where are you?" he asked in interest.

"_Bisconti's_," she said, tripping over the difficult word in her inebriation.

"Are you alone?"

"Ew!" she screeched and Chuck held the phone lengths away from his ear. "No, I'm obviously not. There's a room full of people here."

"Not what I meant, Waldorf," Chuck said in satisfaction. "Though I'm open to suggestions if you have any. I was merely asking if you're drinking alone. Is this your victory party for your little minions?"

One silence told him everything he needed to know about the situation.

"Why are you drinking alone, Blair?" he asked softly.

"Like it matters to you," she snapped.

"It does," he said immediately.

More silence.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?" Chuck asked, even though he really knew where this was going.

"Do you hate me?"

"I have never hated you," he whispered urgently.

"That's not what it seemed like in the bar," she said sadly.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" he suggested. He couldn't take the thought of her being by herself and being potentially molested by drunken stock brokers.

"Not like this," she said softly. He knew she meant what would sure have come after the ride in the limo, not him picking her up.

"Good night, Chuck," she said gently.

"Good night, Blair," he said back. Now he was sure of it. Sure that his feelings weren't just a fluke. This could be a disaster.

**Blair's Phone Call**

_Miss Blair asks that you wait here. She's on her way now._

There was a reason that Blair had called Chuck last. Nate was the easy one. She was beginning to see how bland and boring he was. He wasn't like…

Chuck was the difficult one. She couldn't predict him. She knew him better than anyone, but he was still Chuck Bass. And he still possessed her heart. Damn him.

She knew he would help her. He loved Serena like Blair did. But that was the only reason. She was sure. He didn't love anything else. Or anyone. She called him anyway.

"Are you drunk dialing again?"

Blair bit back the almost certain response that threatened her tongue. This wasn't about them. This was about Serena.

"Do you know where Serena is?" she asked.

"No…" he drawled. God, she hated how she loved that voice. "Serena didn't come home last night. I thought she was with you."

"Oh, God," Blair couldn't help but whisper. "Chuck, please say you'll help me."

There was silence. He had to be kidding. She knew things were bad with them, but Serena didn't need to be punished for it.

"I don't know what to do here. Something happened last night." He was really wearing on her nerves. "Chuck—"

"Sorry," she heard his voice in the other end. "Humphrey's here and being as nosy as usual."

"What?" Blair asked in confusion.

"I didn't want him to…" Chuck trailed off. Blair really had no idea what he was talking about.

"What happened?" he asked suddenly. "Is Serena alright?"

"I don't know," Blair exclaimed. "I think I know where she is, but I have to get her. Will you come to my house?" She hated the silence that filled between them.

"Of course," he finally said.

"Thank you, so much," Blair said, trying to hold back the fear that threatened her being.

"Blair," Chuck said hesitantly. Blair wanted to hang up right there but there was just something about the way he said her name that made her listen. "Everything's going to be okay."

"How can you say that?" Blair asked. "You don't know."

"I do," he said.

"How?" She wished she hadn't asked.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

"I really hate you sometimes," Blair said, allowing herself one minute laugh. "You know that, right?" She could feel his smirk on the other end.

"I promise," he told her. "I'm going to make this okay. We're going to fix this."

"Thank you," she whispered. There was more hesitation.

"Blair…" he said again. "Ever since I got back from Monte Carlo—"

"I have to go," Blair said hurriedly. She couldn't deal with her mixed up emotions right now. She just couldn't.

"I'll see you at your house," Chuck said distantly. As Blair hung up, she really didn't want to know what that meant.

Dorota walking into Blair's room seeing her mistress near tears.

"Miss Blair?" Dorota asked.

Blair immediately leapt up from the bed and pressed passed her, descending the marble staircase.

"I'm going out, Dorota," Blair announced, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill her cheeks.

"You know Nate and Chuck are coming," she said. "Make them wait here. I'll be back soon."

"Yes, Miss Blair," Dorota said.

Blair paused at the elevator as she waited for it to rise.

"Miss Blair…" Why was everyone saying her name like that today?

"You know Mr. Chuck—"

Ding.

Thank God.

"I'll talk to you later, Dorota," Blair interrupted and slid into the compartment. Only when the doors had closed had she let herself two tears slid down her face at the shambles her life had become.


	21. Woman On the Verge Part II

**A/N**: Next installment. The last section might seem similar to another section I had, but this one occurred before that. It goes more into depth about what happened with Chuck. The first section is a sort of continuation to the last chapter.

**Summary**:

"I hope you're not already infected with her diseases after one go-around."

"That is so sweet," Chuck said. "You're worried about me."

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. All quotes nad character developments go to GG.

* * *

**Chuck's Phone Call**

_Charles said he was going to Blair's to pick her up._

Chuck hesitated slightly at the sight of her name on his caller ID. But he knew Humphrey was (of course) judging him, so he picked up immediately with a barb ready. He heard the slight pause in her voice and knew she had a retort ready. But she didn't use it. And at her next words, he knew something was terribly wrong

He didn't like Humphrey staring at him, trying to listen in on his private conversation. He walked towards the door and felt Humphrey follow him.

He decided he would hate this low renter for the rest of his life. He wasn't going to let his own father listen in on talks with Blair, let alone some insider. Chuck gave Humphrey one good glare before closing the door behind him.

"Sorry…" Chuck heard himself mumble. What was wrong with him? He was such a teenage girl. First he had to be alone to listen to the person he had never gotten over and then he just started tripping over his words. Since when does Chuck Bass mumble?

But he knew enough to know that Blair was freaking out and he wanted to be there for her, no matter what had happened in the past. And that did not include a judging Brooklyn-er.

"Humphrey's here and being as nosy as usual."

"What?" Blair asked in confusion. Something was definitely wrong. If Serena was missing and Blair was in a state, there was only one thing he could do.

"I didn't want him to…"

Wait. There was no way he was going to finish that sentence. He didn't want Humphrey to listen to Blair and his problems. He knew this was about Serena, but he was also aware what was really at the back of both of their minds. He wanted to address it, but he also wanted to help his sister. Conflict.

And then she said it. She asked him to come over. He was just about to leap up and vault himself out of this hotel if he didn't over think everything. He wanted to go back to her so much but it wasn't like she could ever know that.

He realized he hadn't answered yet. The things this woman did to him. This was about Serena, as he had to repeatedly keep reminding himself. Even so, it was obvious some drama was about to ensue.

"Of course."

He wished he hadn't sounded so needy and desperate. Chuck Bass needy and desperate? Please.

"Thank you so much," she whispered. Chuck clenched his eyes shut and hit his head softly against the back of the wall. He really was digging himself into a hole, here, but he just couldn't muster up the morale to care. So he just assured her he was going to fix everything.

There was silence again. There was only one thing he could think of to say next. It probably wasn't the best decision he ever made in his life.

"Blair…" he said gently. "Ever since I got back from Monte Carlo—"

"I have to go," Blair said hurriedly. As strange as it was, this made Chuck feel relieved. She was as freaked out about them as he was. And he knew for a fact that they were both sinking into the same hole. It was electric between them and there wasn't anything they could do to stay away from each other. Chuck was tired of wanting to. But he didn't like how Blair was so quick to escape him.

"I'll just see you at your house," he said, trying to rid his voice of the melancholy tone. As glad as he was that he wasn't alone in this, he wanted desperately for Blair to understand. What he was going to tell her, he had no idea. He was a thorough thinker, but most times he got himself into trouble just because he leapt without thinking. She had that same quality about her. He loved it.

Chuck lowered the phone at the sound of the dial tone. He knew he had to get up and go soon, but right now, he just had to wallow in his self pity. But not for long. The door to the room opened, and of course, at came Humphrey.

Chuck easily got to his feet, and sent him a death glare. For all he knew, his meaningful conversation could have been monitored. By a poor person. Talking to Blair was sacred and he wasn't about to have Humphrey desecrate it.

"That was…" Humphrey started.

"None of your business," Chuck spat, protecting the only thing that meant anything to him anymore.

He shoved past him on the way back inside of the room. Lily and Bart were talking to the organizer and Chuck was planning to slip out quietly. Lily seemed too observant today.

"Charles," she said.

Chuck froze. The closer it got to the wedding, the more she called him by that name. It must have been his father's influence.

"Lily," Chuck said cordially.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked politely.

"Not to worry," he said. "I'll be back in time for the rehearsal."

"Oh, I'm not worried," Lily smiled. "I just wanted to apologize for what happened after Serena accused you…"

"Its forgotten," Chuck said dismissively. He had forgotten about that. So much had happened since then it all seemed so trivial. Lily smiled. She just wanted to be forgiven.

"So, where are you off too?" Chuck did his best to sound smooth. Lily couldn't know there was anything else going on.

"I just heard back from Serena," he lied. "I'm going to Blair's to pick her up. She asked me too—"

"Blair's?" Lily asked, raising an eye brow. This was the second time today he was being caught off guard. It was not a good day for him.

He found it impossible that Lily would know anything of that nature, but the knowing look she was giving him proved otherwise.

"Serena asked me to," Chuck covered quickly. "She didn't want to take a cab."

"I see," Lily said skeptically.

"Well you tell Blair I said hello." The society smile was back in place so Chuck wondered if she actually knew anything at all. Chuck reached for the door knob before he was called back.

"And Charles?"

Chuck paused.

"Things will work out between you two," she assured. "You'll see." Damnit. Was he really that transparent?

"I'll talk to you later, Lily," Chuck said quickly and missed the satisfied smile from Lily as he shut the door behind him and made it to the elevator.

Only when the doors closed did he let himself a moment of weakness. He sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose and acknowledge the shambles his life had become.

**His Virginity**

_You all know Georgina Sparks._

_Some of us better than others. It's not like you didn't lose your virginity to her in the 7th_ _grade._

_6th, actually, and I've been avoiding her ever since. The bitch is a psycho._

"What are we doing?" Nate asked in a hushed whisper.

"Shut up," Chuck whispered back. "And what does it look like we're doing?"

"Um…" Nate pondered this. "Hiding."

"We are not _hiding_," Chuck stressed, unable to fit "cowardice" in with "I'm Chuck Bass."

"We are merely ensuring our survival."

"You mean your survival," Nate supplied. "She's not obsessed with me."

"She is not obsessed with me," Chuck disagreed. "She is merely… enamored."

"Whatever that means," Nate shrugged. No, really. He had no idea. "It doesn't really seem worth it."

"What?" Chuck asked distractedly, checking around the corner to see that they weren't being followed.

"Being stalked by some crazy girl," Nate said.

"Nathaniel," Chuck said seriously, turning to face his best friend. "Trust me when I say it is completely worth it. When you and Blair finally do the deed, you'll be thanking me."

"We just got together last year," Nate protested.

"And I just got with Georgina last year for 10 minutes," Chuck rolled his eyes.

"And now she's stalking you," Nate supplied.

"'Stalking' is such a strong word," Chuck said.

"Does harassed come to mind?"

Chuck whirled around in relief to see a certain Blair Waldorf with a satisfied smirk on her face.

"Because honestly, Bass, that's what you're doing to me by stealing my boyfriend away."

"Waldorf," Chuck sneered. "I don't suppose you know where Georgina is and where I can avoid her. I thought you were fluent in bitch. It is your native tongue, after all."

"_Very_ amusing, Bass," Blair returned. "Spending so much time alone that you have time to come up with that?"

"Okay, you guys," Nate cut in, interrupting Chuck's retort. "Just stop."

"What's the matter, Bass?" Blair ignored Nate. "I hope you're not already infected with her diseases after one go-around."

"That is so sweet," Chuck said. "You're worried about me."

"You wish," Blair spat.

"You know what I wish?" Chuck pondered. "I wish I knew where a certain Whoregina was so I wouldn't have to risk contact with her at all. Ever again."

"Funny," Blair said, "but for some odd reason, I actually don't like hanging around with her. What with her throwing what she thinks are witty disgusting comments my way all the time."

"I know, Waldorf," Chuck smirked. "No one can compare to me."

Before Blair could reply, there were obvious heels clicking across the floor of the school. Chuck flinched at the sound. Blair smiled sadistically.

"Well I wonder who that could be," Blair pondered. "I wonder if she would like to know where a certain egotistical pig could be hiding from her."

"No need to impress me with complements," Chuck parried, covering up his anxiety. Blair was still smiling that sick smile that Chuck knew meant he was in trouble.

"Blair, please," Nate said. "Don't tell her where Chuck is."

Chuck knew this was Blair's weakness, even if she didn't. She could never say no to her precious boy toy.

"You owe me," Blair finally said, scowling at Chuck before heading off.

"You never did tell me what happened to make Georgina so psycho. You slept with her like a year ago."

"Apparently she thought it was something more than it was," Chuck said airily, watching Blair go. "The day after, she just started following me around. My usual tactics didn't work. They seemed to goad her. Her only kryptonite seems to be your pretty little girlfriend."

"Blair?" Nate asked in disbelief.

"They can't stand each other," Chuck said. "And I can't help but admire your taste, Nathaniel. Blair is the only one who can stand her ground against that walking STD."

"Wait…" Nate said in confusion. Chuck rolled his eyes. He loved Nate but seriously, Blair could do so much better.

"Blair just happened to be here…"

"Blair was staying after for whatever extra curricular that she thinks will make her an upstanding citizen." Chuck really wished that his best friend was smarter.

"You knew she would be here?"

"How else would I fend off my newest fan?" Chuck nodded towards where Blair disappeared. "Let's go. I have a stalker to disengage."


	22. Woman On the Verge Part III

A/N: So this is the last chapter before the season finale. Yaaaaaaay. I really liked the first segment. In my opinion, the second one is one of the more intense one's of written. I was watching the episode and these just came to me. Its a little short, but I hope you like it.

Summary: "Nate's an idiot," Chuck muttered. He knew she heard him because her grip around his neck tightened. For once, he didn't run at this closeness. It was almost… nice.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Everything (and quotes) belong to Gossip Girl, Supreme Ruler of the World.

* * *

**Shephard Wedding**

_It started when Blair thought you and I had too much to drink. She told us to go outside and get some air, sober up._

Chuck watched her walk back into the reception. There was something in her eyes that told him that she knew. She didn't really _know_. She didn't know that Nate was completely in love with Serena. She was protecting her heart by being ignorant. But on this level, she knew.

He saw her force Serena and Nate outside. She couldn't deal with them right now, but Chuck knew that was probably not the best move. He also knew that instead of going outside, they had just snuck into the empty bar.

She collapsed into one of the chairs while her mother looked on critically. He must have toked too much before he got here. He thought Blair looked stunning.

"Well you look—"

"Save it," Blair held up a hand, silencing him as he took the seat next to her.

"Waldorf," Chuck shook his head. "Not the retort I had expected. Is someone off her game today?" Chuck didn't really care that Eleanor was giving him that look that said _get the hell away from my daughter_. His reputation wasn't a secret and most high society mothers didn't want Chuck Bass near their daughters. But Blair had been friends with Chuck forever. And little did anyone know that in a little more than 2 years time would he actually be uttering those words that Blair herself held sacred.

"Don't you have some freshman who doesn't know any better to harass?" Blair sighed in submission.

"I think you've used that one before, "Chuck grinned. "It's tired. Something is bothering you."

"Thank you for the assessment, Freud," Blair snapped. Eleanor gave her daughter a reproachful glance which was missed by its intended target. Chuck didn't miss it. He rose to his feet.

"Come on," he said, holding out his hand. Blair curled her lips up at his gesture.

"Why?" she sneered.

"Because," Chuck leaned in, so only she could hear him. "I think your mother is going to go medieval on my ass if I don't get out of this situation. Dance with me."

"What did you smoke before you got here?" Blair asked blandly. Chuck smirked.

"Nothing, just come on." Blair groaned, but took his hand anyway.

Blair really wanted to hate him sometimes. More like all the time. He was talented, she would admit. He wasn't anything like Nate. Most of the time that was a good thing. He was cruel, evil, and deceptive. He was like her. That's how she understood him. But there were times like these where he was completely unpredictable.

His arm wound comfortably around her waist while his other grasped her hand cordially. She chose to ignore how low his hand dipped on her hips. Sometimes, it was just good to be appreciated because she sure as hell wasn't getting that form her own boyfriend.

"If you insist on dancing with me, you're going to have to do it right," Blair chided. Chuck raised his eye brow in question. Blair just leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. She was so tired and for some reason and (she hated to acknowledge) he smelled really good. She hoped that didn't say anything about her.

"He doesn't love me," Blair said, her eyes still closed, "does he?" Chuck continued guiding her around the floor, contemplating his answer. He never lied to her. She was the one person that he never intentionally deceived. But he was still loyal towards his best friend. It was a predicament.

"Nate doesn't know what he wants," Chuck supplied.

"That's what I thought."

Chuck hoped to God those weren't tears in her voice. It would kill him if it was.

"Nate's an idiot," Chuck muttered. He knew she heard him because her grip around his neck tightened. For once, he didn't run at this closeness. It was almost… nice.

Like he would ever disclose that to her.

"Why are you always here?" Blair asked. Chuck was almost insulted before she continued. "You're always the one to comfort me. Especially when Nate messes up. especially when Nate doesn't know that he messed up. How do you do that?"

"I'm Chuck Bass," was all he could think of to say.

"You really need to come up with a better line," Blair sighed. "I actually predicted that one."

"That's because we're the same, Waldorf," Chuck said truthfully. "I patiently await a time where you realize that."

Silently, Blair agreed. But until then, she just let him hold her.

**After the Address**

_Here's the address you asked for._

"What are you doing?"

She always caught him. She was always onto him. He just wished that she was actually _on_ him. A Bass could dream.

Chuck sighed and hung up the phone, turning to see a haughty Blair Waldorf in the doorway at the reception. Blair had accompanied Serena there but right now, Serena was sort of occupied with her tears.

"Hello to you too," Chuck rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing, Bass?" Blair seethed.

"Somehow I have a hunch that you already know, so I don't even have to answer that question."

"How could you?" Blair asked. For the first time, he looked into her eyes. She looked like she was at her breaking point. He remembered the last time he saw her like that and he never wanted to see her like that again.

"How could I what?" Chuck asked in his dangerous dark voice, stepping closer towards her. Blair recoiled slightly but held her ground.

"You're her _brother_, Chuck," she uttered. She knew his weakness. She knew his desire to be part of a family and she was exploiting it. Somehow, he just liked that about her. "And you're selling her out."

"I'm not," Chuck snapped. "Lily asked me for a favor and I'm doing it."

"She could send Serena away," Blair said and this time, tears really did threaten to cloud her vision. "You know that, right?"

"Why do you think I'm doing what I'm doing?"

"And what are you doing?" she spat.

"I'm giving her closure. She can move on from this. _We_ can move on."

"Because that's what you want, right?" Blair asked softly.

"What are you saying?" Chuck asked.

"When this is over, you get to go back to your family," Blair said bluntly. "You have one now. All I have is Eleanor."

"You have Serena," Chuck said mutely, looking at his shoes.

"What if I want more?" she asked. "For the first time in months, we're how we used to be."

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," Chuck said in disgust.

"Why?" Blair asked. "It's what I do best. You remember."

"Don't," Chuck shook his head. "Don't turn this around on me."

"Sorry, _Charles_," Blair sneered. "I guess you just have all the answers." She was about to turn on her heel angstily when he grabbed her chin fiercely. She shut her eyes at the sudden movement but then locked them with his.

"This isn't about Serena," he said.

"It is," Blair disagreed.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because you're making me."

"Don't delude yourself," he said. "You didn't have to come in here."

"How does it feel that you're betraying your own family?" Blair said, hitting him where it hurt. Chuck just smirked bitterly.

"You can't hurt me, Waldorf," he said. "Not as much as you already have."

"What are you talking about?" Blair asked. "I didn't go out of my way to demean you and call you a used horse."

"Why did you think that I did that?" he asked. "You of all people know I don't strike without provocation. You think I can stand it, watching you with him?"

"We're not—"

"I only black mailed you because I couldn't stand the notion of the two of you together. I just couldn't."

Blair wavered. Their faces were so close that they're breaths mingled. Fate was against them, it seemed. The door opened.

"Oh, sorry," Eric said in embarrassment.

"What is it?" Chuck asked reluctantly.

"Mom and Serena are in a fight," Eric said. Chuck looked at Blair's stricken face.

"Go," he said. She did. But her backward glance broke his heart.

* * *

**so i wrote this a really long time ago. i didnt remember that in _Shephard Wedding_, i totally but a Pulp Fiction reference in (one of the greatest movies ever.) i dont know if that was for nothing or if any of you really got it.**


	23. Much I Do About Nothing Part I

**A/N**: So this is the last episode. This will be the first chapter of three parts and then I will be done with the first season. And most of the sections are taken from the beginning of the episode when Blair finds Chuck in her bed. (Awesome.) In celebration of GG Season 2 coming out today, here is my update.

**Summary**:

"Exactly," Chuck smirked. "That's why I think it would be more comfortable for us _both_ if I just slept on your bed."

"We both know that if you come up here, sleeping would be the opposite of what we would be doing."

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. All quotes and characters come from Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Her Bed**

_Who, what, when, where, why?_

_We were up late plotting against Georgina. We must have dozed off._

_And you were on the floor._

_I didn't want to hurt my back._

Blair flicked off the lights.

"That's okay," Chuck countered. "I like it better in the dark anyway. More exciting."

"Shut up, Bass," Blair countered.

"I like them feisty," Chuck commented.

"I'm ignoring you."

"Yeah, let's see how long that lasts. You're the one who wanted me to come over so we could plot against Georgina. Now look. You've wrangled me into spending the night. I'm thinking this was all apart of your master plan."

"If I recollect, Bass," Blair sneered into the dark, "you were the one who sent your limo away so I had to be hospitable and make you sleep on the floor."

"You did say you didn't know how long we would be here," Chuck reminded her. "And speaking of this 'hospitable' floor, it's actually really uncomfortable. I don't know if you were made aware of that."

"You mean since the last 800 times you told me?" Blair taunted.

"Exactly," Chuck smirked. "That's why I think it would be more comfortable for us _both_ if I just slept on your bed."

"We both know that if you come up here, sleeping would be the opposite of what we would be doing."

"Well that really wasn't my first thought, Waldorf, but I'm open to suggestions."

"Please," Blair scoffed. "I'm beginning to think it was _your_ master plan all along."

"You make me sound like a criminal mastermind or something," Chuck relayed.

"The criminal part isn't too far off," Blair retorted.

"Come on," Chuck rolled his eyes. "That was in 10th grade and the charges were dropped."

Blair couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh at the memory. Chuck was glad she had turned out the lights. Then she wouldn't know how it pleased him just to be the one to make her laugh again.

"You know, Blair," Chuck mused. "I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but this floor is really un—"

Chuck grunted as he felt his jacket that he had discarded when he first came in hit his face.

"There," Blair said. "Now stop complaining." Chuck couldn't help but smirk as he folded it to provide himself a pillow.

Now matter how long they had been planning, sleep never came. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Chuck couldn't stop remembering how Blair stripped of those stockings he adored when they came in. She was still as perfect as ever and he hated it. He hated how he couldn't have her and he hated how he wanted to. He hated how he loved her.

He was finally able to admit it to himself. He was completely in love with her and he couldn't take it back now. But there was one thing he could do.

Chuck wasn't joking about how hard the floor was. He eased to his feet, taking his jacket with him. He stalked quietly to the bed where he could hear her even breathing. The moonlight shone perfectly through the window and he marveled at how perfect that was.

Blair's chest rose and fell easily with slumber. Chuck removed his shoes quietly, placing them by the bed. He placed his jacket in the far side and eased his way across the surface, trying not to wake her. She would surely kick him out then, limo or no limo. It would have been worth it.

Chuck laid his head on the pillow next to hers. It never ceased to amaze him at how comfortable her bed was. (And he would know from personal experience.) The sheets were all satin and felt himself begin to immediately be lulled to sleep.

He hadn't realized how much she had reeled him in until he felt her gentle breath graze across his nose. He smirked in response and chanced getting even closer. Her body warmth was so comforting and inviting. He couldn't believe what he was about to do, but he did it anyway.

Chuck leaned in and placed a very gentle and fleeting kiss lightly on her lips. For a moment, he was petrified that she would wake. Instead, she sighed in her sleep and unconsciously edged closer. Chuck knew this was right. After everything, he was certain he was doing the right thing. This time, he wasn't going to back down.

In the middle of the night, he felt shifting on the bed. To his shock, he found that his arm had wound its way around her waist in his sleep. But to his utter pleasure, he realized that she had reciprocated. Not only was she noticeably closer, but her leg had joined his, making the electricity between them thrive.

It was official. Tomorrow was the wedding and the start of something new. And he was going to make sure that she be made aware of that.

**Scarf**

_It's not like you ever do anything athletic._

_We both know that's not exactly true, now is it?_

_Fine, nothing that requires removing your scarf._

_That was one time, it was chilly._

Galas were boring. He knew Bart had networking to do or whatever, but honestly, what was there to do besides to go outside and smoke a joint? So he did. He was glad his fondness of herbal remedies lead him there. To her.

She was standing in the cold. She rubbed her arms against the wind chill. It was almost December. It was cold.

Chuck took a harsh drag before dropping the joint to the sidewalk and stubbing it. She seemed to sense he was there. Her dark alluring eyes caught his and with a slight smirk she disappeared back inside. What a tease. That was probably why he followed her.

She wasn't anywhere that he could see when he stepped back inside. The society party was filled with people he had no intention with conversing with (especially the flirtatious girls who would never had the wit or snark that a certain Queen B had.) Not to mention the certain best friend who he had difficulty talking to truthfully ever since a certain indiscretion(s).

Luckily, he knew her. Better than anyone, in fact. Sure enough, she was occupying one of the empty rooms away from the party. Her Dior clung to her in just the right way and he couldn't seem to remove himself from his position at the doorway.

Blair was gazing at the artwork on the wall, as though demanding it to give its secrets to her. Chuck wouldn't have been surprised if it did. She had a certain commanding presence about her.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" she asked, still looking at the painting.

"Well if you had something else in mind..." he hinted, stepping further into the room. Blair tried to suppress a smile before looking at him for the first time. She eyed his article of clothing skeptically.

"What?" he asked, sitting down next to her. She shook her head but flicked the patchwork of ties that stood for a scarf surrounding his neck.

"It's chilly," Chuck shrugged. Blair didn't respond but he knew that she agreed. Goose bumps covered her arms. He traced his finger down the bare flesh in relish as she shivered.

"You're cold," Chuck noticed.

"I'll be fine," Blair said nonchalantly.

"You certainly are," Chuck said into the shell of her ear. Blair averted her eyes from his, only knowing exactly where this would lead. It was the inevitability where each one of their "conversations" led. The palpable sexual tension between them was so hard to ignore. But at times like these, Blair knew that she didn't want to.

However, leading Chuck right to her was not a game that they played, so she pushed him away.

"How long are you going to pretend that you can successfully ignore me?" he asked throatily. Blair rolled her eyes towards him, as though an act of annoyance. When they locked eyes, though, that was a different story. Suddenly, his mouth was on hers and she couldn't find the will for it to stop.

She didn't like how it was always like this. It was never planned and that was what Blair liked best. A schedule. And right now, there were hundreds of New York's finest on the other side of the wall including her mother, his father… and Nate. She couldn't find it in herself to care terribly at this point in the game, but she did sort of wish that the door was locked.

Blair found that her back was pressed to the couch that she had been lounging on and Chuck was hovering over her. These things really did move quickly.

When she was uninhibited with him like this, her body did weird things that she never would have thought possible with anyone else. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons on his shirt quickly before find their way down to his belt buckle. She heard him make a groan deep in the back of his throat that Blair had to convince herself that she did not at all find sexy.

After pushing his shirt from his shoulders, she found that his scarf was still draped across her from his neck. She took hold of it.

"Seriously?" she asked breathlessly.

"Are we going to do this, or are you going to make snide comments about my wardrobe?"

Blair never got the chance to answer.


	24. Much I Do About Nothing Part II

**A/N**: So the first segment was something I already wrote but I'm putting it in as an allusion because it just fits. The regular italics are Chuck's allusion and the bold and quoted italics are just the quotes that are happening presently in the scene. I hope it works.

**Summary**: "I'm sure you'll make me proud," Chuck said, already knowing that he could not be more pleased with her if they were actually having sex (which he found that he was fantasizing about more and more.)

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Characters and quotes all belong to the love of my life, Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Best Man's Speech**

_I have a best man's speech to write and no time to write it_

_**"The part about last night was genius. Anything you want to tell me?"**_

_**"No. Like you said, just born to lie."**_

Blair didn't quite believe him but Humphrey and Serena's relationship really wasn't any of her concern. As if on cue, her phone began to vibrate. Blair picked it up and narrowed her eyes at the caller ID. She felt Humphrey's eyes on her face. Damn.

"I have to take this," she said to him pointedly, opening the phone.

"Uh... okay." Dan got the message, gathering his things and left. Blair tried to ignore what her body was telling her. It usually lead her astray.

* * *

Chuck looked at his Rolex. Blair said she could be a bitch enough for both of them. He had no doubt. He wondered where she was and what she was doing. He wondered if Georgina had been destroyed yet. He wondered if Blair was glowing with that satisfaction of deception.

Chuck blinked aggresively at the blank page. He still had no idea what he was about to write. What did he know about love? Wasn't that what you were supposed to write about for a wedding speech? He had never been in love. That was what he had tried to convince himself, at least.

But really, all he could think about was how beautiful Blair had looked that morning. She smacked him and she had that air of confidence and fire in her eyes. She bantered playfully with him the way he loved. Love. There it was. No denying it now.

He had to write something. He was the best man and he knew there had to be something genuine in there. But whenever he thought of the wedding, he thought of Blair. That was completely wrong. He hated her. She broke his heart. There it was again. That inference to love.

He couldn't get that woman out of his head. He looked at his watch again. This thing wasn't going to write itself but all of his musings on Blair weren't going to go away, either. He was most definitely curious about what had happened. He cursed his weakness as he punched in the number to his phone that he knew by heart. He didn't even bother going through the contacts. He smirked as she picked up on the second ring. She picked up. For him. He was convinced this would go well.

* * *

"What do you want, Bass?" Blair asked, commanding the fluttering in her stomach to cease. Chuck loved that demanding tone to her voice. She was being defensive. Chuck could read her like no one else. Even when he couldn't see her.

"Just thinking of you," he husked flirtatiously.

"Why?" Chuck could hear the badinage about to make itself apparent. "Some other girl who's virtue you stole is hating you eternally, too?" Chuck could tell that response had been rehearsed. There was no one else in the world like her.

"You insult me, Waldorf," Chuck reproached. "You know there's no one else but you." He wished the truth didn't shine through every word. "Actually, I was just wondering..."

"Can you speed this up, Bass?" Blair asked, when really wishing he would just keep talking to her, making her feel like she mattered. There was something soothing about his voice that made her want to listen to it for hours. But that would make her survival instict feel neglected, so she had to cut him off. "I have a slut to destroy."

Chuck smirked. She had read his mind completely. It was strange how she would just mention things that he was thinking of out of the blue. She had no idea how perfect she was.

"What a coincidence," Chuck drawled. "I was just wondernig how far you were getting on our little plan." Blair bit back a sad smile. He wasn't cutting and running like he was so prone to do. "What's taking you so long?"

"Excuse me, Bass, but who's the procrastinator who couldn't join in the game because he didn't have to time to write a speech for his own father's wedding?" Blair questioned playfully.

"Well, excuse me, Waldorf," Chuck retorted, "but last time I checked you weren't really complaining with the time I was spending with you. You know I do this all for you."

"I wasn't _what_?" Blair asked. "Last time _I _checked, I was hitting you for winding up in my bed. If that's not complaining about the time you spend with me, I don't know what is."

Chuck knew better. He knew that when Blair acted out of turn like that, she was really covering what she really felt. He knew that they were falling into the same trap they had last November. He was glad for it, really. Now there wasn't any boyfriend to come in between them.

"Oh, Blair," Chuck sighed. "We both know there's no one for you but me. I know you better than anyone."

"Please," Blair scoffed.

"I love it when you beg me, Waldorf," Chuck said lecherously.

"Was there a reason for calling me, Bass?" Blair asked with a fake sweet tone. "Or did you just want to trade insults with me?"

"As much as I love trading more than insults with you," Chuck smirked, "I was calling for a reason, before you so rudely cut me off."

"Oh, really?" Blair asked playfully. "What was that?"

"Just wondering what the Whore-gina status report was," Chuck responded.

"If you must know," Blair stated, "I'm off to destroy her as we speak." Chuck smiled at Blair's glee at ruining that psycho bitch.

"I'm sure you'll make me proud," Chuck said, already knowing that he could not be more pleased with her if they were actually having sex (which he found that he was fantasizing about more and more.)

"I don't have to," snapped Blair, inwardly loving the tone he took with her. It made her feel treasured, even if it was by a Bass. "But you are right. No one can destroy a slut like I can."

"I know you can," Chuck whispered intimately. Blair was vaguely aware that Dan was waiting for her so they could leave for the park. She wished he wasn't hovering in the other room. She knew he probably wasn't listening but she didn't like how he was near when she was having a conversation with Chuck. It felt too private.

She also wished that Chuck wasn't making it so easy to fall back for him. Before, it was easy to hate him after calling her those things. But when he was sweet with her, she couldn't help but want him again.

"Now if you don't mind," Blair started, hating herself for having to cut off of this conversation, "I really do have places to be."

"Right," Chuck murmered. "Places to go, bitches to destroy." Blair smiled tightly at his complete understanding.

"Actually, Mr. and Mrs. Sparks are waiting in the park for me to deliver Georgina so..." Chuck sighed away from the phone. He knew that this was important to Blair. It was important to him to. No one messed with one of them and got away with it. He just wished he could still talk to her. He wished he hadn't let her go.

"Ruin her a little more for me," he said finally. He heard Blair's soft laughter that she actually let him hear on the other line. God, he missed her laughter. He still took pride in the fact that he was the only one who could truly get that sound from her.

"Don't worry, Bass," Blair sighed. She wished he could be there with her. But she also knew that avoiding Georgina wouldn't work so well for him if they were in the same proximity.

"I never do," he returned. Neither of them wanted to hang up. But Blair knew she couldn't go on like this. She couldn't let him think that he had a chance. It was dangerous for her to... God, she didn't want to admit it, but it was dangerous for her to love him. She finally had to admit it to herself, but it was true. He was right. There was no one for her but him. They were the same.

"You should get back to that speech. No one can articulate like Chuck Bass," Blair said in defeat.

"I would have to agree with you, there," Chuck said.

"Goodbye, Chuck," Blair said, sadness distinct in her voice.

"Goodbye, Blair," he matched her tone. Blair put the phone down, knowing what she had to do. She had to break ties from him. He was too dangeously wonderful for her.

* * *

"That was Chuck?" Dan asked. Blair shot him a look.

"I thought you wanted Georgina gone," she snapped. She didn't want to be reminded how she couldn't be with Chuck. Stupid Humphrey and his stupid perfect life. His love life was so uncomplicated. All he had was a vindictive bitch in his way. All Blair had in her way was herself. That was something she could never triumph over.

"Right," Dan said uneasily. He had never heard Blair use the tones she had during that conversation. He had tried not to listen, but it was unavoidable. He didn't understand how someone could be sweet with Chuck Bass. This was, however, the Upper East Side after all.

"And didn't anyone tell you it was rude to eavesdrop?" she lashed out, ignoring the obvious irony of one certain constant eavesdropper who was thinking about her while writing his father's best man's speech.

* * *

Chuck gazed wistfully at his phone. He knew when Blair had said good-bye to him, that was it. He knew what was going on in her head. She was going to try to break off ties with him. Key word: _try_. There was no way in hell he was going to let that happen. He loved her, damnit. He wasn't going to just let her walk away. He knew there was no way he had ever or could ever love someone again. She was perfection in human form and he wasn't going to let her get away.

Chuck stared at the blank sheet of paper. He looked at his Rolex for the third time in dismay. He would have to finish (or actually start) the speech at the wedding. He scribbled something minute down. Something about getting what you want. It was what Bart Bass would do, and damnit, it's what Chuck would do. Blair was what he wanted and he was going to get her.

He smiled down at his few sentences. He knew that if he had not spoken to her he wouldn't have gotten that far. Blair Waldorf was his muse. Yes, he would definitely finish at the wedding. He couldn't wait to see her in that shiny pink dress of hers. She was going to inspire him even more, he knew it. He wasn't sure if it had anything to do with love or the whole situation, but Blair definitely brought out the best in him.

Chuck rummaged through his closet, trying to find his best man's suit. He paused at his collection of bow ties. He kept looking at a pink splattered one. He smirked, trying it on. He looked perfect, if he could say so himself (which he would because he always was.) He knew what dress Blair was going to wear. She and Serena had discussed it in her room late one night. (It really wasn't his fault. If he didn't eavesdrop, how would he know when people were talking about him?)

Chuck gazed at his reflection. They would be a perfect match. Like always. He finally made the decision. When he saw her he would make it apparent that he still wanted her, loved her even (though that may be going a little far.) He might even allude to their indiscretions. He didn't care if she verbally backhanded him or even kicked him. He was going to get her. That he was sure of.

**Scars**

_I can be bitch enough for the both of us._

_I still have the scars on my back to prove it._

Chuck watched in dismay as she stormed away from him. Always the one for dramatics.

"Don't follow me," Blair snapped as she swept to the sidewalk. Chuck was never one for following orders.

"Blair," he sighed trying to keep in time with her hurried strides.

"I said go away, Chuck," Blair said.

"No, you said not to follow you. I'm disobeying each order."

Blair whirled around in the middle of the sidewalk, fixing him with a haughty glare that made him want her even more.

"Come on," he said.

"Come on what?" she asked. Chuck motioned his head to the (of course) limo waiting for them.

"No," she said, walking away from him again. He caught her by her elbow, spinning her around.

Blair tired to wrench her way out of his grasp unsuccessfully.

"Let go of me, your barbarian," Blair snapped.

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" Chuck asked in amusement.

"You already knew that," Blair said dismissively as though it wasn't an insult. Coming from Chuck, it wasn't.

Somehow, they reached a truce, because Chuck had taken control of her arm again and dragged her to the limo. She got in, but pressed herself against the far window, as far away from him as possible.

Chuck just smirked, but respected her space. It wouldn't be like that for long.

"I'm not having sex with you," Blair announced after several moments of silence.

"Oh, really?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"Not after what happened in there," Blair retorted. Chuck rolled his eyes.

"Waldorf…"

"Do you want to be completely conspicuous?" Blair demanded.

"I don't really see a problem."

"You were overtly hitting on me right next to Serena," Blair exclaimed.

"You said Serena already knows," Chuck reminded her.

"Nate was there too," Blair said reluctantly.

"I always talk to you like that," Chuck rationalized. "Doing anything _else_ would be categorized as conspicuous."

"Whatever," Blair crossed her arms over her chest.

"Do you admit defeat?" Chuck asked mischievously, inching closer to her. Blair couldn't back up any more so she just glared at him.

"To you?" she spat. "Never."

"We'll see about that," Chuck said confidently. Blair never broke the eye contact and Chuck preferred it that way. He slid across the seat until he had her cornered. Bad planning on her part.

He wound his fingers around the curve of her neck. Maybe that shiver was due to the cold, but he liked to think otherwise.

"Stop," she said, her hands on his chest in attempt to push him away. Unfortunately, displays like these were always encouraging for Chuck Bass.

Instead, he leaned in, the side of his nose pressing against her as he went for it. He grimaced in painful pleasure as she roughly grabbed the back of his head by his hair and wrenching him away from her.

"Don't, Bass," she said threateningly. Lowerclassmen all over Constance were frightened by the very look that she was giving him. He, on the other hand, was turned on by it. And he couldn't let this go on for much longer. He needed her. And he knew that she needed him too.

"That's not what your body's telling me," he said smugly. Blair harshly pushed in his chest a final time and attempted to move out of his way. Chuck was quicker. He grabbed her by the hips and rolled her to her back on the leather seat. She struggled momentarily before Chuck crushed his lips to hers.

He was done waiting. And her propensity for denial was always short lived. He was unzipping her high waisted skirts before she slapped his hand.

"Ow," he said mockingly.

"I told you no," she snapped.

"But then you let me throw you across the backseat, so I'm just thinking of the other things you'll let me do to you."

"Consider nothing," Blair said haughtily. He liked her that way. She turned her face away from him as he pressed his body overpoweringly against hers. Her breath became ragged and he got his answer.

Her hands fluttered across his bare back and he shivered. He could only imagine what those hands could do to him.

"I hate you," she whispered hotly into his ear.

"I hate you too, Waldorf," Chuck assured her as his body moved easily above hers. Blair's hands intertwined easily in his hair and skimmed the back of his neck. Then they met their mark.

Chuck winced as her nails broke the skin of his back as she tried to stifle her moans. She was unsuccessful. He decided that he liked this too. Blair was leaving her mark on him. Now he would carry her scars and he wouldn't have it any other way.


	25. Much I Do About Nothing Part III

**A/N**: This is the last chapter of the first season. I haven't been getting many reviews, so I'm not really sure if anyone wants me to continue this. I've already written like 6 episodes of allusions for the second season, so it would be cool if this was well received. The last section of this chapter took me a really long time to write even though it may not look it. It was hard to write and I had to keep re-doing it, so I hope its good. The way things are turning out, I might be updating this once a week at the most frequent and twice a month at the least frequent. I'm just starting school again so I don't know exactly what my schedule will be like.

**Summary**: She hits him when he kisses her. He likes doing that when she's angry. It gets her even more riled up. He likes it when she's fiery. No… he _loves_ it.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. All quotes are Gossip Girl's.

* * *

**First Time**

_No one ever enjoys their first time._

_Except you._

The pain was inconsequential. When one had been through everything that Blair had, moments of slight physical pain were nothing. Apparently, especially when it was being administered by an expert.

An expert that just happened to be one of her best friends. A best friend who just happened to be gazing at her with those gorgeous eyes of his. She had never noticed them before. They truly were a sight to behold. She swept his hair off his forehead and he closed his eyes gingerly against the action.

Blair liked that she could have control like that. Make someone feel like she wanted them to. He made her feel…

What was she thinking again? She couldn't be thinking this. He was Chuck Bass. She was just another conquest. And she was using him too, right? Then why did she suddenly find light brown eyes so much more enticing than dull blue ones? That wasn't right at all.

But it seemed like it. It seemed like she was supposed to be here. It seemed like he was the one who was supposed to be touching her, not her stoner of an ex-boyfriend. Her skin was on fire. So much that she thought there might be something wrong with her. She wasn't supposed to react like this. She had never felt the flames of passion before and right now, they just couldn't be ignored.

So she felt her legs tighten around him and the pain seemed to suddenly cease. He promised he wasn't going to try and hurt her. He promised he would make this easier for her. For some reason. She found that Chuck Bass could be gentle.

When she felt his final shudder she had no idea why she wanted more from him. He was still looking at her. It wasn't a leer, exactly. It used to be. Now it seemed as if he was just… looking. For what, she had no idea.

Even after she had put her heels and stockings back on, he was stilling gazing at her.

"You okay?" he finally asked. Blair suddenly found that she held the ability to look him in his searching eyes.

She didn't remember her response. With Nate, she thought it would have been special. He was her boyfriend of four years or something. But it wouldn't have been like this. Blair couldn't make the distinction; however, she couldn't find it in herself to take it all back. All she found was the smile on her face and that Chuck was returning it.

They were parked outside her penthouse. She didn't know what was stopping her until she realized that she did still have an (ex) boyfriend that she loved. This was just a fluke. He was just making her forget her heartbreak for awhile. But in the morning, she would fix everything. So why did she like the pent up desire that was radiating from him? She could practically taste it because maybe she still had some of her own.

Blair closed the door behind her. She cast one final look back at the limo to see Chuck leaning out of it with a smug smirk playing across his delicious lips. (She hated that she had that information in her arsenal.)

So what? So what if she had enjoyed her first time and that it had been with Chuck Bass? So what if he knew it too?

**Love**

_I was in love with Blair and I'm sorry._

When Chuck Bass realizes he's in love with Blair Waldorf, things get complicated. That is an understatement.

Serena knows.

That's it.

And he can't find it in himself to really give a damn. He wonders if Nate ever found out if he would care. It doesn't seem likely. But times like these when he was standing there with him outside school, he knows the loss of his best friend would kill him. The real question is would the loss of her kill him more.

Because that's when it hits him. He loves her and it would absolutely destroy him to see her with someone else, to be without him, to see her walk away forever.

She's yelling at him now. Nate isn't next to him anymore. If he was, she wouldn't be here. She cares too much about her untarnished reputation. Chuck wants to tarnish it some more.

They're alone again. He likes it that way. And she's yelling at him. And it suddenly strikes him that he is completely and irrevocably in love with her.

She's beautiful. The most gorgeous creature ever to walk the earth. He's sure of it. She's wondrous and indescribable. She's manipulative, conniving, deceptive, malicious, cruel, cutting, intelligent, vain, and beautiful. Plain and simple: she's him. And there's nothing Chuck Bass loves more than himself. It's a fact. But he loves her more than he could ever love himself and that's the difference.

She's strong and she's witty and he never wants anyone else.

She hits him when he kisses her. He likes doing that when she's angry. It gets her even more riled up. He likes it when she's fiery. No… he _loves_ it.

This could pose a problem.

**Tuscany**

_So… Tuscany with Chuck. Sounds romantic. Minus the Chuck part._

_He invited me. In his father's private plane. He knew I was headed to France so…_

_So it's worth a week with Chuck to avoid airport security?_

_Oh don't worry, I'm gonna frisk him._

_Oh, B. Gross._

_What can I say? He brings out the worst in me. And weirdly I think I bring out the best in him. He's been a perfect gentleman this whole week._

_So that's why you're driving yourself to the airport?_

_He wanted to see his dad before he left._

"You should definitely wear this more often," Chuck holding up a piece of Blair's lingerie in the mirror. "And why haven't I seen this more often?"

"Um..." Blair said from behind the bathroom door, "because you blogged about our sex life to Gossip Girl and compared me to your dad's sweaty old horse."

"Oh, that," Chuck said. "I almost forgot."

Blair stepped from behind the door and Chuck gaped. "Luckily you have me and you won't ever get the chance to."

"I changed my mind," Chuck ammended, taking in her scantily clad body, "_that_ is what you should wear on our trip to Tuscany."

"Well you're the one who won't have sex with me, so--" Blair broke off. "Wait, Tuscany?"

"You're the one who said I was being romantic," Chuck shrugged, sitting on her bed, flipping through one of her gossip magazines.

"No..." Blair said, snatching the magazine out of his hands, "what were you saying about Tuscany?"

"I said you should wear that."

"Chuck," Blair said, throwing the magazine across the bed. Chuck just smirked and leaned back across it, tucking his arms underneath his head.

"Speaking of which," he continued, "you should probably pack since we're leaving as soon as my dad gets back."

"Your dad gets back today," Blair said blatantly.

"That's right," he said simply.

"And what makes you think that I would go on this impromptu trip with you?" Blair eyed him dangerously.

"Oh, its not impromptu," Chuck grinned. "Its with my dad's team and they've been planning this for months."

Blair glared at him. "And you're telling me hours before we leave when I didn't even have time to pack."

"So you wouldn't have a chance to say 'no,'" Chuck said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "In any case, I knew you'd be coming with me."

"And why do you think that?"

"Well, for one because you said 'we' in terms of leaving," he reminded her. "And also, it makes sense. You're going to see your father in Paris this summer and we're going right by there."

"You think you're so clever," Blair said, not able to suppress a smirk from the boy she just realized she loved so much.

"No," he said seriously. "I just know you."

Blair sighed. "You have to leave."

"Why?" Chuck asked, looking suddenly worried.

"Because I have to pack and since you've given me no time whatsoever, I have to call Serena so she can help me."

Chuck grinned. "I'll see you at the helipad, then. I have to say goodbye before I go."

"Fine..." Blair sighed, looking wronged. Chuck just laughed.

"I'll see you then," he said, leaning forward into her. She pushed him away.

"No."

"I got you flowers..." he said tantalizingly.

"This whole seduction thing you think you have going on would work a lot better if you were actually planning on seducing me," she retorted.

"All in good time," he smirked.

Blair rolled her eyes but let him kiss her anyway.


	26. Summer Kind of Wonderful Part I

**A/N:** Season 2 premiere. So there are a lot of chapters for this episode just because there was so much material from what happened over the summer break. This is one of many. One week until Gossip Girl! I've decided that these will be usually updated weekly on a Monday.

**Summary**: Sometimes he didn't like that he knew her so well. But it helped in instances like this. He approached the register. There was a mirror behind it. His slanting eyes stared right back at him. He looked away quickly. He would have to get used to that. Self loathing was easier when your self had a face. He could easily distract himself when he wasn't looking at himself.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. All quotes and such is Gossip Girl's.

* * *

**Flowers**

_I haven't seen you look in a mirror all summer. Here I thought if you did, you'd turn to stone. Must be pretty nervous about something if you're willing to take that risk._

_Ha, ha, sis. I'm on my way out to Lily Pond. With the triplets returning to Rio, I thought I'd continue my tour of South America. Maybe Argentina._

_Then what are the flowers for?_

Three months. Three months and he was still a messed up, completely out of control womanizer who was head over heels for just some girl. And it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she wasn't just some girl, either. He never thought that he would be that guy. He never thought he would be that Nathaniel or--God forbid—_Humphrey_.

But it was happening, and for him at this point, it was just completely out of his control. It was like it just _Victrola_ all over again. He couldn't stop it. He had that small pinch of guilt nagging at the corners of his wafer thin soul, but it didn't change the fact that in one night, he had gone through a complete metamorphosis. He couldn't help it. It happened. He met his match and he knew it. But that didn't mean he had a complete role reversal. He still wasn't able to confess his feelings and that was a hurtle he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to jump for awhile.

He didn't know what he was doing. Three topless chicks (who he was pretty sure weren't actually triplets, but they were all the same to him) were at his disposal and all he could see was that annoying bitch he couldn't get out if his head. He hated her. But he didn't.

Sometimes, his faceless conquests had a habit of following him back to his Hampton's house. That was just something he would have to deal with. Especially now that he had made a decision.

He was going to win that heart wrenching bitch back. And nothing was going to stop him. He was going to manipulate, humiliate, and eavesdrop if he had to. She belonged to him and no one else. And he would be damned if she came back just to sleep with his own pool boy or something.

It was true that he really didn't have a right to be angry at her or anything. But this really was all her fault. If she hadn't broken things off with Nathaniel just to come running to him and making him (through no fault of his own) fall completely love with her, they wouldn't be in this mess right now. He would be happily sleeping through every slut in the Hampton's area with a song in his heart. But no. He had to fall victim to the one thing he was certain he was impervious to. And it turned out Bart was right after all. She did change him. He actually cared. And it was killing him.

"They're just girls," Eric reminded him mockingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chuck said as they circled the house again.

"Well if I'm not mistaken, you're off to send the 'triplets' on their merry way," Eric grinned.

"And why would I do that?" Chuck asked snidely. "Three exotic women who bend over backwards to please me. Its not a bad deal. Not that you swing that way. And believe me, they can bend that far. They're extremely flexible."

"And you're deflection through trying to be disgusting thing won't be working," Eric reminded him. "Once again."

Chuck rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he really hated how Eric was so cool and just knew him so well.

"And what are three exotic women who speak broken English compare to one porcelain goddess whose verbal barbs match your own blow for blow?" Eric sighed.

"Its like you're speaking in tongues," Chuck replied. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Unfortunate for you," Eric responded, "that when you get wasted, you get wasted around me. And when you get wasted around me, you get chatty. Actually, that's not unfortunate for you, that's unfortunate for me."

Chuck smirked.

"You really think that you haven't been drunk talking about her all summer?"

"Shut up," Chuck snapped, though with amusement. He couldn't help but marvel at how Eric was the smartest out of all of them.

"You never used to be afraid of letting conquests go," Eric reminded him. "You must be losing your edge."

"Watch it," Chuck warned him. "You may be my little brother, but there are some things that are off limits."

Eric laughed. "Right. Sorry."

"And I'm not _afraid_ of _women_," Chuck sneered. "They're just disposable objects. Like always."

"Really?" Eric asked. "And it couldn't have anything to do with the fact that once you let them go you would have to actually admit to yourself that you'd have to go purchase some really expensive flowers and stalk her on the Jitney."

"'Stalk' is such a strong word..." Chuck mused. "And you're strangely becoming one of the only people who know me better than anyone else."

"Would that other person happen to be--"

"No," Chuck said curtly as they arrived at the beach. As predictable as ever, the Portuguese Triplets were there. There was only one woman who always caught him by surprise. The way she snapped coldly at him and the way she took the stage spontaneously and danced for him, especially the way she screamed his name-- _Damnit_. He was doing that thinking about her thing again.

Now he was just going to do what he did best. Cut them loose, because no one ties Chuck Bass down. No one except a certain brunette bitch who he couldn't get out of his head all summer. _Damnit_.

The triplets sat up immediately on the sand at the sight of him. His lip curled in disgust at the sight of their clingy-ness. That was exactly why he could never fall in love. But, oh yeah, too late for that now.

"Ladies," Chuck greeted them cordially with Eric by his side. "I was just on my way back to the house to tell you this. You are going back to Rio immediately. You will never see me again. Its been fleeting."

He turned his back on them as Eric followed him.

"That's it?"

"Yes," Chuck replied simply. "That's it."

"What makes you think they'll actually do it?"

Chuck smirked. "Because I'm Chuck Bass."

"Right," Eric rolled his eyes. "How could I forget?" he looked around. "I thought you said you were going back to the house.

"I will," Chuck replied hesitantly, "to get ready. But first... I have to purchase some obscenely expensive flowers."

"Glad to hear it."

Chuck looked at him curiously as they walked by the shops. "Why?"

"I don't know if you know this, Chuck," Eric replied. "But you can be an extremely unpleasant person."

"Thank you."

"You have to have realized that you're different when you're around her. You just fit, and that is better for everyone in your proximity."

Chuck didn't answer. He wished he hadn't asked. He hated it when people told him things like that. It meant that he was right all along about her. And he was wrong for leaving her like the horrible person that he was. She was meant for him and only him. It just took a little while to get there.

They both entered the florist's shop as Chuck browsed idly.

"How long does it take for you to pick out some flowers?" Eric asked as Chuck took his time.

"I already know what to get," Chuck said hesitantly. Sometimes he didn't like that he knew her so well. But it helped in instances like this. He approached the register. There was a mirror behind it. His slanting eyes stared right back at him. He looked away quickly. He would have to get used to that. Self loathing was easier when your self had a face. He could easily distract himself when he wasn't looking at himself.

His hair was longer than he remembered it. It would pass. He had to get used to looking into mirrors if he was going to—wow, he was really contemplating making himself look nice for her.

But this was real. And he looked down at the yellow roses on the display. He pointed them out, getting the most costly ones.

This was for good. He was sure of it.

"Good choice," Eric smiled.

Well that was something. At least Eric approved.

**Eavesdropping**

_You wouldn't have happened to overhear a certain phone call with a certain best friend of mine who mentioned she was on her way out here on the Jitney?_

Chuck slid his Aviators of his nose as he stalked in the foyer. He pocketed them quietly. He always had that talent. That weird talent that let him know that he shouldn't be here. He wasn't supposed to be here. It was how he got all his best dirt. And eavesdrop, he would do.

He heard Serena's voice from her room. She wasn't that hard to hear. She was always loud in her own right. It shouldn't have mattered to him. But the one sentence was what peaked his interest. And he knew he had to know exactly what was going on.

"_Oh, my God, B, I haven't heard from you in forever!_"

His heart immediately clenched and he knew he was in trouble. He was supposed to be enamored with the triplets. No. enamored was castrating. It didn't give him enough power. It took it away. He had only been enamored with one woman in his entire life. And she was on the other end of that phone.

He needed to hear her voice. He crept silently (another incredible talent of his) to his room across the hall. He quietly picked up the house phone and pressed talk, putting his hand over the mouth piece.

"_...have been so bored. I just don't want to be alone right now. I'm still having a hard time. When are you coming back?_"

Chuck grew impatient. He didn't really care about his step sister's feelings at the moment. He was listening for one reason and one reason only. He had to know. He had to know if she was talking about him, missing him. In the devastating way that he missed her.

"_Oh, I don't know_," said Blair's casual tone. He felt like he could breathe for the first time. She didn't sound angry at all. But then again, that didn't exactly mean that she wasn't mad at him. It wasn't like she knew that he was listening in. But that was what he did. So maybe she was aware.

"_I guess there hasn't been a real pressing reason for me to come rushing back. You don't know of one, do you?_"

It was like she knew he was listening. There was that hit to her voice that she always had when she was being pointed. He wished she was back here with him again.

"_B_..." Serena sighed. "_You know I live with him now. Its not like you can actually avoid him._"

His heart jumped. They were talking about him. Unless Blair had developed an unsolicited crush on either Eric or his father, but he was sure that wasn't the case. After all, Bart was barely home as it was. And, oh yeah, Eric was gay.

"_I really have no idea what you're talking about_," Blair said evasively.

Chuck smirked. She was so... wonderful when she was like that. He couldn't explain it. But it wasn't love. He refused for it to be love.

"What are you doing?"  
Chuck cast his eyes at Eric standing at the doorway. Chuck brought his hand up, silencing him.

"If you're very quite," Chuck told him, "I'll put this on speaker so you can hear it."

"You're not eavesdropping are you?" Eric asked dubiously.

"'Eavesdropping' is such a harsh word," Chuck grinned. Eric took that as a 'yes' as Chuck pressed the speaker button.

"_Is that why you haven't been back_?" Serena asked.

Eric just shook his head, knowing exactly what they were talking about.

"_Well Daddy and I have been having just so much fun_," Blair replied. Lie.

"_Blair_," Serena said reprovingly.

"_What do want me to say, Serena_?" Blair finally burst. "_You don't know what its like_."

"_To have your heart completely stomped on?_" Serena asked coolly. She really had been spending too much time with Chuck. "_I beg to differ_."

"_No_," Blair snapped. "_To be so completely stupid. I thought... I thought I was different to him. But I guess they all do. They all think they can tame him and he kicks them out of his bed right after._"

Chuck clenched his eyes shut. He didn't want to do that. He just didn't think he could do the thing she wanted. She wanted a fairytale and all he was was the Dark Prince.

"_You know that's not true_."

Chuck looked at Eric whose eyes had widened. Was Serena really defending him?

"_You said he didn't even sleep with you that entire week_."

"He _didn't sleep with_ me," Blair corrected. "_There's a difference_."

"_You said he was being romantic_."

"_Are you defending him_?" Blair demanded.

And there it was. She was pissed as hell. But her voice was still the most arousing thing he had ever heard. Especially when she was in such a state. And he had already made the decision that she was completely worth it. He had already betrayed Nathaniel for her. What was left?

"_Of course not_," Serena replied. "_I'm just saying... Maybe you were different to him. Maybe he really liked you_."

"_He _liked_ me_." Chuck could practically hear her sneer from the other end. "_Well that is so comforting when I was stuck in Tuscany waiting on that_...Basshole."

Eric had to turn away so they couldn't hear him snorting. Chuck just sighed. She really was just waiting all summer thinking those up to use on him when the time was right.

"_I really want you here, B_," Serena said. "_I know you've been through a lot, but the person who put you through it is still technically my brother. And I've been giving him all the angry glares I can muster. But you have to come._"

"_Maybe_," Blair sighed. "_Maybe I could be the better person_."

"_Of course you can_," Serena said humorously. Chuck froze. She was coming. She was coming back most likely to get revenge on him. And the biggest Blair Waldorf turn on was definitely revenge. The Georgina Sparks Ordeal was proof enough of that. He wound up in her bed. And that was good.

"_So_..." Blair sighed. "_What's he been like_?"

"_Blair_..." Serena said in that judgmental way she no doubt learned from Humphrey before it was too late. Chuck locked eyes with Eric. Eric was shaking his head at Chuck's smug expression.

"_Just because I'm in Paris doesn't mean I still don't get_ Gossip Girl," Blair reminded her. "_How many have there been_?"

"_A lot._"

Chuck scowled into the phone. He would get Serena back for that.

"_I mean... you can't still care_..."

"_I don't_," Blair snapped in the way that made Chuck aware that she definitely did. And it was good for his ego. Eric was still shaking his head at him, but remaining quiet.

"_I just need to make sure_," Blair replied. Chuck couldn't help but smirk at her tone. It was that scheming tone that he fell for in the first place. And he was glad that he was the one who was causing it.

"_I need to make sure that he's a dead man. Because he is. When I come back, he'll be sorry._"

Those were the words he wanted to hear. It wasn't like he was a masochist or anything. He just knew that she was sexy as hell when she got that way. And the only thing he'd be sorry about was that he didn't get to touch her sooner.

Eric was shaking his head vigorously. This could only end in tears. And it most definitely would even if Chuck didn't see that.

"_So you're coming back?"_

"_I suppose so_," Blair sighed. "_If you need me that much, I guess I"ll just have to take the Jitney_..."

"No, Chuck," he whispered. Chuck waved him away. He wasn't supposed to be talking. Eric, being the skittish kid that he was, jumped and knocked over the telephone stand.

"..._what was that--_" Chuck heard Blair asked before he hurriedly hung up. He heard what he needed to. He smirked fully—the first one since the helipad—laying back on his bed smugly.

"Chuck..." Eric sighed.

"You weren't supposed to be talking," Chuck scolded him.

"She's coming back," Eric said in that careful way.

"She misses me," Chuck said quietly, more to himself even though Eric could hear.

"She wants to kill you," Eric laughed.

"She was thinking of me," Chuck said. "I still matter."

"You know how she thinks," Eric nodded slowly. Chuck nodded.

"I'm going to get her back," Chuck nodded as though he were realizing it for the first time.

"She won't let you."

"She will," Chuck said. He smiled minutely. "She will."

Eric sighed. He knew Chuck needed to be alone. At least for now. And for some odd reason, he was sort of happy.

That was when Eric collided with Serena in the hallway. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Eric," she said coldly.

"He's happy, Serena," Eric said wisely. "You know she makes him happy."

"Well he devastates her," Serena snapped.

"He didn't want to," Eric said protectively. "He didn't mean to. He wants her back. He's like her. Once he's set his mind on something..."

Serena sighed. "Its not fair to her. She was so broken."

"So was he," Eric pointed out. "You know he was. You know this is just the way things have to be."

"Its not fair," Serena sighed.

"But to them," Eric told her, "its worth it."

* * *

A/N: So if no one noticed, the continuity is out of order. In my universe, "Eavesdropping" came before "Flowers." But that was the order that the quotes were on the show, so that's the order they were in. Also, yellow flowers are apparently the flower of infidelity, but that was the color that Chuck got, so Eric says its the right one. These will be the most parts for an episode so far, so I hope it was good enough.


	27. Summer Kind of Wonderful Part II

**A/N:** So the first section is also another one shot that I already did, but I'm putting it in here because it fits. The first part is in another POV, but then it goes to Chuck. I wrote it awhile ago so I don't think its that good, but it fit.

**Summary**: He obscenely licked his lips, his gaze raking up the legs that were bared by her dress. There was desire in his eyes and Blair hated the pang that radiated through her chest.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. All quotes and characters are Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Boring Ben**

_Waiting in Tuscany for you the first few days were mildly humiliating. But when I realized you weren't going to show, I rallied. Luckily, made a friend on the trip over._

_Boring Ben? My dad's ex-employee, by the way. I had him fired just for you._

I remember the first time I ever saw Chuck Bass. I did work for his father but I never heard the rumors of his conquests. All I remember is the gorgeous woman that told me she was waiting for him on the helipad. I assumed they were dating. I assumed wrong. She smiled at me and told me "absence makes the heart go fonder." She could wait. I didn't know that he wasn't waiting at all. He wasn't waiting for her. He had other things to preoccupy his time.

Blair Waldorf was still in Europe when I introduced her to James Schiller. She never really divulged on her relationship with Bad Bart's son, but I could tell something happened two days after the helicopter had landed.

We were still talking because she didn't know anyone in Tuscany. I knew that James would be there. That day something changed in her. Her smile was a little bit more bitter, her eyes were a little bit more darker. She told me she had a revelation. I hadn't known what that meant.

I thought there had been tears in her eyes, but I guess I had just imagined it. She pursed her lips before they pulled into what seemed like a spiteful smile. I didn't understand what that meant, but after I met Chuck Bass I did.

With a simple flick of her hair she asked, "so, who's this James?" I knew it was over. I just didn't understand the circumstances then.

* * *

I exited the meeting feeling a little sick. Bad Bart had that impression on most people. The rest of the team went to the bar. I needed a drink too. That's when I saw Chuck Bass for the first time. He wasn't that hard to miss. He had two blond chicks hanging off of him. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

I didn't notice his dark slanting exotic eyes. I didn't notice his ruffle of dark hair. I didn't notice his high check bones accenting his pale skin. I didn't notice the trademark smirk that played across his features. I didn't notice a musk that would never go away. I wasn't her. I would never notice that. I would never know the appeal he held over her, or other women. I knew he had broken her heart. I didn't feel protective or anything. I felt disgust. That beautiful woman was dropped in a second for some drugged out playmates. It didn't make sense. But of course, then, I didn't know it was Chuck Bass. He was just another guy to me. But I did have a weird sense of deja vu when I looked at him. There was something about his demeanor that I felt I had seen before. The knowing smile and a cold mask should have been enough to remind me of Blair Waldorf.

I heard some guy from my team nod towards Bass Jr. I really didn't know what they were talking about. When I asked who he was, they looked at me like I was insane.

"That's Chuck Bass, Bad Bart's son and only child. Womanizer of New York. He thinks he owns the place just because his father does. We'd all hate him if we didn't admire him for getting so much action."

There it was. The most confident woman I had ever seen had fallen for a trick. Chuck Bass. I hadn't known Blair for that long, but I could tell she didn't deserve it. Strange, since I got the feeling that she didn't take anything from anyone.

* * *

Chuck smirked as his lips caressed the nameless blonde's ear. He hadn't bothered to find out her name. He didn't need to. Soon she would serve her purpose. _They_ would serve their purpose and they would be out of his life forever.

That's when he looked up and saw some dark haired guy staring him down. Chuck doesn't back down, but he does get creeped out.

This guy was not going to look away any time soon. Well… he owned this place and he was going to tell this guy he could have him fired. (Yeah, as good as telling your parents that someone's bullying you on the playground but Chuck hadn't felt the same since Blair was gone.)

Chuck detached himself from said blonds and made his way across the bar. He stared the stranger down. Chuck imagined he would look away but instead he came with striding steps towards Chuck. This surprised him. Maybe he would have to get him fired.

"Chuck Bass?" the guy asked. (No, Dan Humphrey).

"Who the hell are you?" Chuck asked with a superior glance. Recognition filtered through the guy's eyes like he knew him. "You don't know me." It wasn't a question.

"No, you're Chuck Bass, Blair's friend." Chuck wanted to cringe at the familiar tone this stranger had when he talked about Blair. Either that, or he wanted to pound him. What did this guy do with (or to) Blair? _His_ Blair. Chuck didn't like thinking like that but he had left her on that helipad. Anything was possible.

Of course, Chuck would never let anyone know that he had possessive feelings over Blair. Blair didn't even know how Chuck felt that way.

Instead, Chuck decided to play on the friendly card. (Friendly-ish.) This guy had no idea who he was dealing with. Chuck didn't even know if this guy had slept with Blair or not. At this point, he was assuming yes. Guilty until proven guilty, right?

"You know Blair?" Chuck asked with a (somewhat) friendly smile. "Let's get a drink." Without even the chance for a response, Chuck put an arm around him and lead him to the bar. He completely ignored the girls he had come in with. They were obsolete at this point. He needed answers.

Immediately as they sat down, Chuck ordered a scotch.

"How old are you?" the stranger asked. In the past Chuck would have given him a Bass- worthy glare and a biting insult.

"First things first," Chuck decided. "How do you know Blair?" Chuck really didn't want to sound like a jealous boyfriend. He was failing miserably.

"Uh- we met…" (This guy was boring)

"Wait—what's your name, again?"

"Ben…" (Something-or-other. Chuck wasn't listening that closely. He didn't need that much to get him fired.)

"Great," Chuck tried to put on a non threatening smile but he wasn't too good at those either. He had never had to use one.

"Where did you meet again?" Chuck asked condescendingly. (Being friendly was hard. He could probably get more answers by being Chuck Bass, anyway.)

"There was a trip to Tuscany. Your father…"

"I know the trip to Tuscany," Chuck cut in. ("Ben" or whatever wasn't getting to the good part. He needed to know if he touched Blair.) Chuck knew the claws were about to come out.

"So what, you screwed her on the helicopter? Classy." Ben looked appalled. Please. He worked for Bart, he had to hear something worse than that.

"No, it wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like?" Chuck let his predatory smile graced his features. Ben was still trying to figure the smugness about Chuck. (Duh, no one can figure Chuck Bass out. No one except… Damn her.) Even if Ben didn't spill the events of that flight soon, he would have him fired anyway. This guy was seriously annoying. Not to mention completely dense.

"Well I was just on that plane because…" (Ugh. Some boring story about business.) Yes, this guy was also seriously boring. How could Blair fall for a guy like that? Chuck thought she was done with the boring drones who had no personality. Chuck was confident that he was the right choice. No one knew Blair like he did. No one could read her (or her body) like he could. They were two of a kind.

"...You know?" Ben asked, finishing his story. Chuck totally wasn't listening. He thought Ben could tell.

"Blair was there to see her boyfriend or something. I was surprised a gorgeous woman like that would get stood up." (Oh hell, no.) That was it. This guy was dead. Chuck still didn't like the familiar way he was using Blair's name. Blair didn't belong to this guy. He knew he couldn't just tell his father that some guy had slept with Blair if he wanted him fired.

Bart had witnessed all of the conquests over the summer. In a way, yes, it was his own fault. And this also solved Chuck's need for destruction which had been lacking that summer. It didn't matter. Chuck always got what he wanted. (Including Blair.)

When she returned, he was going to get her back. He always got what he wanted. And that started with this guy's termination.

Chuck looked in the mirror above the bar and couldn't help but scrutinize his features. He was used to this feeling. He had it a lot when Nate wanted her back. He was always comparing himself to the golden boy. But what Nate had in superior looks, Chuck had the same in hot looks, smarts (in the bed room and out), witty comebacks, and a complete understanding of Blair that no one else could even manufacture.

But Ben was good looking too… and kind of smart. That vexed Chuck. He looked too young to be on Bart's team. Chuck didn't want to have to wait for Mike to dig up something on "innocent" Ben. He wanted this now.

Chuck was about to do something he had never done before. He was going to put faith in his father. He knew his father would never entrust anything that had to do with business with Chuck, but this was different.

"Well," Chuck stood up. He had made his decision. This guy wouldn't go far. "It was a pleasure speaking with you," Chuck said in an offhanded way. He was very good at making people feel inferior. "But I have some business to attend to." Ben looked confused. Chuck wanted to laugh. It was about to get a whole lot more confusing when he was wondering where his job went.

Chuck was about to walk away, but just couldn't help himself.

"Oh, by the way," Chuck said to Ben's turned back. Ben swiveled to face him. Chuck leaned forward slightly into his dangerous whisper. Ben looked a little intimidated. He should be. "I hope you had fun with Blair because it just cost you a whole lot." Ben's face paled. Chuck hoped he had heard of Chuck's reputation. Chuck hoped he regretted it. "And Blair's not you type. She's more the… mind blowing back seat of a limo kind. I hope you understand," Chuck smirked and leaned away. No one had heard the defying last bit of conversation. "Enjoy your drink," Chuck said as he went to destroy a stranger's career.

* * *

Chuck approached his father's door. He was wildly nervous. He never asks his father for anything. It makes him feel weak. Everyone knows Bart's opinion on weakness. But Blair was worth showing weakness to the most powerful man in New York, even if it was his father.

Chuck knocked on the door and entered. Bart was on the phone.

"Father?" Chuck asked. He always felt smaller in this room. This was the only time he felt powerless and inferior. He felt like everyone was always looking down on him all the time. He made up for that in confidence in that outside world.

"Charles, this is important. I'm on a business call," (Really, considering you're in your _business office_. Shocking, really.)

"This is important too." Bart looked very annoyed. Possibly homicidal. Chuck could never really tell.

"Hold on," Bart said into the phone, vexed. "What is it?" Bart demanded.

"I need you to fire someone off your team," Chuck said with a straight face.

"This is what you wanted to ask me? To take part in your childish games?" Bart never understood. Chuck would make him understand.

"He screwed Blair," Chuck said blatantly. Bart froze for a second. Bart was very aware of Chuck's feelings for Blair, even though he didn't show them in a proper manner. Chuck didn't even know why he was going out on a limb here, asking his father for something of this importance. Bart had seen Chuck with countless women over the summer. He knew Chuck was being a hypocrite.

Chuck didn't know what it was in Bart, maybe, like everyone else, he knew that Blair was Chuck's one and only, but Bart actually put down the phone.

"What's his name?" Bart asked. Chuck broke out in a genuine smile.

It wasn't until Chuck left his father's office did he realize a possibility. Chuck longed for Blair. It showed on his face. His heart leaped when his father cooperated. Maybe he would get her back after all. After said vengeance, of course.

Chuck passed Ben who was talking with someone at the bar. His friend looked up and nodded towards Chuck. They were talking about him, he knew it. Ben looked up. Chuck approached the bar with a devilish smile. Ben leaned away involuntarily. Here was something on Chuck's face that was frightening. Pure joyful malice. Chuck had got Ben and he knew it.

"I'm glad to have met your acquaintance," Chuck smirked. "Good luck, by the way," Chuck smiled and headed for the door. He didn't have to turn to know the confusion that had crossed Ben's face, not to mention the fear.

Chuck would have Blair back soon enough.

**Dinner**

_If you want to get to know James better, I'll bring him to dinner. I'll be you'll like him just as much as I do._

_And if you mean by that, I won't like him at all, then you're right. I'll see you at seven._

She remembered the first time she saw him since everything. And the second. The first, her heart dropped into her stomach at the mere sight of him with that smug and lecherous smirk on his face clad in his orange sports coat and his gorgeous yellow flowers. (She really wished he didn't know her so damned well.) But then she remembered what he deserved and she gave him exactly what that.

The second time she saw him she told him she was bringing her cardboard cutout to dinner to meet him. (She played it off like meeting Cece and Eric, but it was really him. She definitely didn't want his approval but then again, she didn't know exactly what it was that she wanted from him. Because it couldn't have been _him_.)

Blair walked in the door with James on her arm in her green print dress to immediately see Eric shaking his head with that wise smile on his face.

"What?" she immediately asked defensively. James looked confused. Apparently that was her type. The confused blond blue eyed stoners with sea captains for fathers. Definitely not the smoldering dark men who set her soul on fire.

"You know what he's going to do," Eric advised. "He is going to tear him apart."

And for some reason, Blair really didn't care. It wasn't that difficult to figure out. James was just a prop. _Just a prop you bought to hurt me... like I hurt you_.

Damnit. She hated it when he was right. Especially when he intruded on her private thoughts.

The stranger thing was that she was sort of excited. Maybe she wanted Chuck to prove he still wanted her. Not that she was going to give in to him, but she would at least like to see what he brought to the table.

James coughed awkwardly. He obviously had no idea who or what was going on in this conversation. There was the sound of expensive, Italian shoes clicking across the floor. And she knew he was there. She didn't need to smell the aroma of scotch that always followed him or that personal scent that she could never figure out to know it was him. She turned a fraction of an inch and there he was. In all his glory with that infuriating smirk gracing his gorgeous features. (God, he looked gorgeous tonight. Damnit.) And, oh great. He was wearing green. She hated him.

He obscenely licked his lips, his gaze raking up the legs that were bared by her dress. There was desire in his eyes and Blair hated the pang that radiated through her chest. Eric looked around awkwardly, knowing not to get involved. James obviously did not get the memo.

"Hi, I'm James Schiller," he said, extending his hand towards Chuck. Chuck took it, but never removed his eyes from Blair. He may have been scornful but there was still propriety that he abided by.

"Waldorf," Chuck said instead when James edged away. "You look ravishing." He cast his dark (beautiful) eyes over to her call boy.

"Chuck Bass," he introduced himself. "I'm sure Blair has told you all about me."

Blair closed her eyes against the jibe, but then glared with ten times more fury.

"Actually... no," James said in confusion.

"What a coincidence," Chuck retorted. "Because she has told me absolutely nothing about you."

James blinked. He wasn't sure if that was meant to be an insult or anything.

"We have known each other all of our lives, after all," Chuck said superiorly.

"Chuck," Blair said softly for the first time. Chuck tore his murderous gaze from his competition to Blair's reproving one. They stared at each other for quite some time. Eric didn't want to be the one to resort to coughing when things like this happened all the time. He had a feeling it would.

"I'm sorry," James broke in. "I don't..."

"He's just a friend," Blair said coolly and pointedly. The side of Chuck's mouth curled sardonically. (She missed what that mouth could do to her.) "But he's right. He has known me for a while."

"Some might say," Chuck said suavely, making his way over to Blair and slinging an arm over her shoulders in what appeared in a friendly manner, "I know her better than anyone."

Blair stiffened underneath his touch. She wasn't ready to be this close to him again. Now she really could inhale how good he smelled. It was the smell of familiarity and she wanted to drown in it. She looked up into his dark, hypnotic eyes to realize that he had been staring smugly down at her the whole time. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Bastard. She shrugged him off. Surprisingly, he actually let her. But she was well aware that this wasn't the end of this particular battle. That was why she had her secret weapon.

"I'm Eric," Eric suddenly spoke up. The air was so thick that they hadn't even noticed that Eric hadn't indeed introduced himself.

"Eric van der Woodsen. Chuck's my brother."

Blair cast a covert eye to Chuck to see he was smiling. She knew what Chuck longed for most was family. But she was beginning to wonder if that was changing. Maybe there was something he wanted more. He sure was putting up a hell of a fight for it.

"Oh?" James asked in confusion.

"My father married his mother," Chuck supplied. "You know Bart Bass? He built Bass Industries from the ground up. Owns hotels and restaurants in almost every continent."

"If you're quite finished shamelessly gloating..." Blair said sharply under her breath so only Chuck could hear her.

"Just letting your boy toy know who he's up against," Chuck said back unrepentantly. "And let you know too."

She got it loud and clear. Chuck was going to pull something at dinner. She knew it. He knew it. She was pretty sure Eric and maybe even Cece knew it. James was in the dark. As always. Cece entered the room.

"Blair," she said politely. "So nice to see you. Of course my granddaughter would have to jet off to a date at the last moment."

"Serena was always a free spirit," Blair smiled. Then she shot Chuck a pointed look and he knew it was coming. "Cece, I hope you don't mind. This is my boyfriend, James."

"Delighted to meet you," James said, obviously relieved that not all of Blair's acquaintances were so hostile and intimidating.

"I hope Chuck hasn't been too overbearing," Cece smiled. "He always has been protective of Blair." That was it. Cece definitely knew.

"Like a brother," Eric grinned. Chuck shot him an annoyed look but couldn't help but admire him. He was coming along nicely.

"Its not a problem," James said in almost relief. Chuck wouldn't let him get that far. "I understand what its like to care deeply about someone."

Chuck wanted to vomit. And poor James didn't know the half of it. He cared more deeply about Blair than this cardboard cut out could muster. And he would make that apparent.

"Blair is special," Chuck agreed smoothly. He smirked as he watched her stiffen again. He could always manipulate her body like that. "I'd be lying if I said she wasn't the most ethereal woman I have ever met. I just want to make sure she's in the right... hands."

He smirked. This evening was coming along quite nicely. And he was right. He didn't like James. He was Nate 2.0 and that just wouldn't do well. Eric sighed.

"Grandma," he said, "isn't dinner almost ready?"

Cece took the hint.

"Yes, why don't we all go outside now."

"Splendid," Chuck smirked as if he hadn't just been marking his territory. They all started trailing out of the room. Unfortunately for her, Blair was last. Chuck quickly shot out his hand against the door frame, trapping his body against hers. She reluctantly looked into his eyes.

"I love that dress on you," he said pointedly at the green she was donning. He leaned into her ear. "All the better to peel it off of you later in my room."

She shoved at his chest but didn't move from her position.

"_What_ are you doing?" she demanded in the same hushed voice. She didn't want to give the game away.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chuck said innocently.

"You're despicable," she snapped. He smirked.

"Thank you."

"Chuck."

They both looked to see Eric looking expectantly at them both. Blair slithered from his grasp and headed out the door to take a seat beside James. Typical.

"Chuck," Eric just shook his head.

"What?" Chuck grinned as he made his way to the door. He could see Blair from his position.

"You know you've met your match when it comes to Blair," Eric noted.

"Its not her I'm looking to destroy," Chuck smiled slightly, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Oh, I can't wait," Eric said sarcastically. "What are you going to do? Bring up lost virginities in the back of limos?"

"I am appalled," Chuck said with mock outrage. "I really am a bad influence on you. I told you that in the strictest of confidence. And yes. That's exactly what I'm going to do."

He smirked and suavely walked out to the dinner table knowing that Blair was following his every move.


	28. Summer Kind of Wonderful Part III

**A/N:** Third installment.

**Summary**:

"I'm not having sex with you."

"And if it were that easy, it wouldn't be worth it," he said back. That wasn't the first time he had said that to her. "I wouldn't want to ruin this dance we have going."

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. All quotes and amazingness belong to Gossip Girl. Not beta-ed, obviously.

* * *

**Pin**

_We have to stop at Nate's first. He has something of mine that I need._

"So Anne's just alright with you going through her son's room without her son home?" Serena asked skeptically. Blair was riffling through his closet.

"Anne loves me," Blair rolled her eyes.

"I wonder why."

Blair narrowed her eyes.

"Oh come on, she thought you were going to be her new daughter-in-law and she finds out that you'll actually more likely be Bart's--"

"What?" Blair snapped. Serena sighed. Sometimes, she actually pitied Blair. Not that she would ever allude this to her. Blair could be cruel at times but Serena was pretty sure that she never did anything so bad that she deserved to fall in love with Chuck Bass. Blair was deluding herself.

Serena knew that Blair would never forgive him. At least, not out loud. Not to herself. But when you loved someone that you forgave for saying you were "rode hard and put away wet," it was only a matter of time before this passed as well. Serena didn't want Blair to forgive him. He didn't deserve it. But she also knew that when it came to Chuck Bass, Blair Waldorf had no judgment whatsoever. Blair was still madly in love with him and this was the result of that.

"What are you doing?"

Blair didn't look up at Nate's voice from her going through his closet. Serena sighed and waved curtly, knowing that Blair's logic wasn't earth logic.

"Blair."

She looked over her shoulder for a split second before going through his things.

"Archibald."

"Blair," he said in annoyance. "What are you doing?"

"Ransacking your closet," she said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Um..." he said, "why?"

"I need my pin back," she said casually.

"What makes you think I brought a green sweater to the Hamptons?" he asked. Blair crossed her arms over her chest.

"And isn't it my pin? You said it was a gift."

"Fine," she sighed. "Then I need your gift to break a Bass."

Nate's face fell. "Blair..."

"No matter how many times you keep saying my name like that, it won't change the fact that I need that pin and I need it now. So where is it?"

Nate sighed and went to the back of his closet. He never stood a chance when it came to facing Blair Waldorf. No one really did. He returned with it and Blair snatched it from his hand.  
"Thank you."

Serena was about to follow her out without another word when he said it.

"Blair."

It was different this time. He wasn't angry or annoyed. He just said her name. She turned slowly.

"He's my best friend."

"So?"

"Its not fair."

"You know what isn't fair?" Blair seethed.

"Blair," Serena pulled on her arm but was rebuffed.

"I'll tell you what isn't fair," Blair continued. "Its not fair hopping on a jet waiting and days later realize he isn't coming. It isn't fair how my heart shattered in a million pieces. It isn't fair how he thinks it can go back to how it was before. Even before the wedding. And it definitely isn't fair how all I can think about is him. So if isn't fair that I do this one thing then, fine. Its not fair. But don't tell me he doesn't deserve it."

"That's not what I'm saying," Nate replied.

"Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you're just like him," Nate relented. "You have to know that you're still all he thinks about. He pretends like he's in control and everything doesn't matter but you know it does to him. It all matters to him."

"If it mattered than he would have come," Blair said quietly. Serena knew she wasn't angry anymore. She was just sad. She was sad because she knew that she and him were the same. And she couldn't escape that, not even if she wanted to.

"I don't want you to hurt my best friend, Blair," Nate told her. "Because you can do it better than anyone."

"Thank you."

She wasn't being sarcastic.

"But you're wrong. He can do it better than me."

"Don't do it."

"He wouldn't be doing the same for you," Blair told Nate honestly.

"I know," Nate smiled. "That's why he's like you and not me."

"Goodbye Nathaniel," Blair said, further illustrating his point.

"Bye."

"And Nate?" she said.

"What?"

"I'm not trying to hurt him," she replied. "Not purposely. This is just something that has to be done."

"Why?"

"Because if he's jealous, then maybe I can forgive him."

* * *

To be quite honest, it wasn't that hard. James was, quite frankly, an idiot. And Blair had been in that sort of relationship for four years, before. Chuck, on the other hand, was not an idiot. She would have to do her best if she was going to fool him into thinking she didn't have the least bit of feelings left for him, when in fact, it was the opposite.

Blair sat fiddling with the sweater. She cleanly stabbed through the fabric of the sleeve. The heart glittered there depressingly. It didn't matter. The one person who her heart did belong to anyway didn't do that sort of thing. He wasn't the sort of person to go sporting some lame dented piece of metal on his scarf or whatever. In the end, she was just putting it to good use. If he couldn't see that... then, well, he was just being Chuck Bass and that was more annoying than anything.

"Here," Blair said sweetly, presenting James with her handy work. She hid the sleeve underneath the torso so it wasn't completely obvious.

"Oh," he said. "I thought I would be wearing..."

"Yes, well," Blair interrupted, not really listening to him anyway. "Cece has a particular taste and you don't want to cross her. Especially when she's retrieved that bottle of gin from underneath the sink already."

"Of course."

Blair watched in satisfaction as he pulled it over his head, oblivious to the glinting distaster shining on his arm. Figures. She always had to pick the ones without any brains at all. But that was what made this so much easier.

"So who did you say we were meeting tonight?" James asked.

"Serena's family," Blair said. "She unfortunately can't come, but I'm staying with her."

"And you said her brother will be there?" James asked. "The young one?"

"Brothers," Blair corrected dryly. "She has two."

"Oh?" James asked. "I wasn't aware of that development."

"Its a new development," Blair said, "as of three months ago."

She definitely wasn't thinking of that disasterous wedding where she had given her heart away yet again just to have it metaphsyically vomited all over.

"Don't worry about it," Blair assured him. "It will be fine."

"Why wouldn't it be fine?" James asked.

Blair just forced a smile. She wasn't about to clue him into how everything would absolutely not be fine.

**Lyon**

_So, James, did you have a chance to meet Harold and... what was his boyfriend's name again?_

_Roman? Only briefly at the chateau. Though Cat didn't like me nearly as much. I have the scars to prove it._

Blair sat in the gardens with her father. She looked inside the house to see how well James was conversing with Roman. Good. This was very good. Chuck would have never—she was doing it again. She was thinking of him when he was banned from her mind.

Truthfully, that was never really possible. After all, it was him she was constantly thinking of when James attempted to ignite that fire in her that only one person could inflame. And it was Chuck who she thought of when she realized that it was a possbility she could be returning to New York very soon. It was him she was thinking of when Ben introduced them. And it was always him she was thinking of when she picked up the light looking James to go back to the states with and forever parading him under Chuck Bass's nose.

So really, that promise she made to herself was for naught because never, not for one second had she ever forgotten him since she realized that he wasn't coming and cried herself to sleep for six days in a row in a Tuscan hotel.

"James and Roman seem to be getting on," Harold mused.

"Yes," Blair said with satisfaction.

"You know who he reminds me of?" he asked her. "Nate."

"Good," Blair replied, suppressing her smirk. "That's very good."

She would be lying if that wasn't the main appeal. Because she knew if she breezed into the Hamptons with a Nate look-a-like... it was just all the better. And Chuck's face would be completely worth it.

Damnit. She was doing it again.

"Blair," Harold said and she finally looked at him. "Is everything alright? When you first got here... you just didn't seen yourself."

"I'll be returning to form shortly," Blair said confidently.

"If you don't mind my asking," he began again, "why did you and Nate break up?"

That wasn't really the question she thought he was going to ask.

"Nate?" she asked.

"Last time at Christmas, I thought the two of you..." he hinted.

"A lot happened between Christmas and now."

"Anything to do with those pictures that your mother sent to me of Bart and Lily's wedding where you were dancing with that boy?"

Blair clenched her jaw (a habit she picked up from a certain someone when she was trying to hide something.)

"A lot of things happened between then and now," she repeated darkly.

"And now you're with James," Harold said.

"For now," Blair smirked. For as long as she needed him. For as long as she needed to see Chuck's face fall and for her to get whatever he took from her back. She didn't know what it was but she was certain that he had it and she wasn't about to let him keep it.

This wasn't about getting the Bass-tard back. She didn't want that at all. She just wanted to hurt him like he hurt her. Viciously and manically. She knew her father could never understand that or accept it, so she wasn't about to relay that information on him.

"Whatever makes you happy," Harold said, smoothing her hair. She smiled. Yes, beating Chuck into a metaphysical pulp would make her deliriously happy.

"You better go inside and save James from Cat," Harold smiled. "I don't think they're getting along too well."

She walked into the kitchen as Roman added Bactine to James's wounds as Cat hissed from a corner. She really couldn't care less about the way Roman was admiring her so-called boyfriend. He was just a prop. And a prop he would be.

Blair scratched Cat behind the ears as James flinched away from her. She trailed into her room as Cat followed her obediently. She flounced onto the bed, on her back, looking sadly at the ceiling. Cat curled against her stomach, purring contently.

_Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been playing over and over._

Jerk. Even her cat reminded her of him. Or he reminded her of her cat. The stealth and smoothness of sneaking up on you without warning, voicing his smooth gratitude, and rubbing up against her. Chuck was definitely a cat person. And so was she. Damn.

Blair petted Cat's fur absentmindedly. She hated it. When she was alone, it was worse. She couldn't help but think about what it would have been like if he really hadn't stood her up. He could charm anyone. Even her mother tolerated him. If her father knew that she lo—was fond of him, he would accept him. Cat never would have scratched him. She knew that for sure. She would have rubbed up against him fondly and purred at his touch.

"This isn't fair," Blair said to Cat. Cat yawned at her. "You know its not. Even you would have liked him. And you're picky."

_Like me_.

She looked into Cat's slanting eyes. Blair knew she had a problem. Slanting dark eyes that reflected her every emotion.

"Fine," she snapped. "I'll do it."

"Is everything alright?" James asked, standing in the door frame, glancing warily at Cat who lay comfortably against Blair's side.

"Everything's fine," Blair said with that false sweetness. "We're going to the Hamptons."

**Movies**

_I wonder if Blair has had a chance to share her favorite movies with you yet. _Tiffany's_, _Roman Holiday_, and, of course, _Charade_._

_I thought your third favorite was _Funny Face_._

_It is. I hate_ Charade_. Chuck, stop harassing him._

Sometimes, Chuck really wished that he had more guys friends. Nate was nice and all, but he was really dense. He and Nate had been friends practically from birth. But other guys... they didn't take to Chuck too well. He knew this. Everyone did. He intimidated them. Probably because he banged their girlfriends... or maybe he was just too cool for them. Nate was his best friend and it would always be like that.

Sometimes, he just wished it wasn't.

He glanced over to Nate who was lounging on his couch. The roach they had been smoking was glowing the the darkness on the table after midnight.

"Nathaniel," Chuck finally deigned to say. Nate cast his dull blue eyes over to him. "Have you talked to Blair lately?"

"No."

That was it.

"Don't you think you should?"

"Why?"

Chuck blinked. This was obviously getting him nowhere. He sighed.

"Well her best friend did just leave town..." he mused.

"Serena's coming back," Nate said confidently.

"Serena is in boarding school in Connecticut," Chuck reminded him. "If she even decides to grace us with her presence it won't be until summer."

"She will."

"What about Blair?"

"What about her?"

Chuck resisted banging his head against the wall. He couldn't take it anymore. All Nate could talk about was Serena ever since she left. Chuck was aware what transpired between them but he continued not to care. He was proud of his boy for finally getting some but enough was enough. Serena obviously didn't want him. But someone did. And Nate didn't care about her. And that wasn't fair. To anyone.

Nate was being so self-absorbed (even more than Chuck, surprisingly.) Chuck wasn't even going to tell Nate how two days ago Blair's father also left town. Her life was falling apart and no one cared. She was probably so lonely. Her best friend and father were gone. So was her boyfriend, if only mentally. And Nate was being so annoying that Chuck actually relished Blair's bitchy companionship.

Whoa. Chuck Bass _missed_ Blair Waldorf. He didn't deal with tears well but she had a reason to be broken. Nate really didn't. Nate had a father and a mother who cared deeply for him. So much that they had to be part of his life. Chuck really didn't. Neither did Blair when he thought about it. Her father was gone and her mother really couldn't care less about her. In all honesty, the only person Blair had for support was Dorota. And that was sad.

"Stay here for the night if you want," Chuck sighed, heading for the door in the dark.

"You're leaving?"

Nate actually had the nerve to sound offended.

"For now."

Chuck knew she would be up. He knew that she had taken it upon herself to cry alone in the dark. Chuck really wasn't sure what he would do if his best friend jetted off, leaving him to deal with Bart on his own. That was just cruel.

Maybe it would have been Blair who would come to his place to comfort him. But that wasn't what he was doing. No. He was just making sure... that she wasn't alone or sad. Damn. That was unhealthy.

"What?" Blair snapped as she opened her bedroom door. Lucky for him Dorota had already gone to bed and Eleanor was in a Valium haze.

"Glad to see you too, Waldorf," Chuck said smarmily, edging his way into her room without invitation.

"What are you doing here, Bass?"

"And here I thought you'd be grateful."

"Grateful?" she sneered. "And why would that be?"

"Instead of getting high and actually having fun, I'm here for you, since a certain someone confided to me how hard of a time she was having."

"So this is part of your court order?" she snapped smartly.

"If that makes you feel less threatened," he replied, sitting casually on her wide bed, "sure." She scowled.

"I'm not having sex with you."

"And if it were that easy, it wouldn't be worth it," he said back. That wasn't the first time he had said that to her. "I wouldn't want to ruin this dance we have going."

"I hate you," she replied, but sat stiffly next to him.

"The feeling is mutual," Chuck replied, realizing that really wasn't the case. "Now let's get to it."

"I was going to sleep," she replied dully. "And not with you."

"If I believed that, I wouldn't be here," he retorted. "You were about to watch a movie so you could forget about how trashed your life has become."

She glared at him. It never ceased to amaze her that he constantly held the ability to read her mind.

"So what is it tonight?" he asked. "_Tiffany's,_ _Roman Holiday_, or _Charade_?"

"My third favorite is _Funny Face_," Blair said without missing a beat.

Chuck snorted. "You can pull that with any of your so-called friends, but I know you better than that. Your third favorite is _Charade_. Don't pull that with me."

Blair stared at him. This was getting dangerous. He knew more about her than her actual boyfriend did. She didn't think that bode for her too well. But he obviously wasn't leaving any time soon, so she would let him comfort her in the weird Chuck Bass way that he was.

"Fine," she sighed, getting _Charade_ off the shelf.

"That's my girl," he grinned sleazily.

"Don't call me that," she snapped.

"For now," he smirked.


	29. Summer Kind of Wonderful Part IV

**A/N**: So this is the last chapter of this episode. So far four parts is the record. Some of these are just drabbles, but some of them, I'm really proud of. Especially Chuck and his sexual innuendos. Yay.

**Summary**: "Don't act so innocent, lover," Chuck said darkly, slowly getting to his feet. He took a step towards her and for the life of her, she couldn't find it in herself to back away. "You want this as much as I do."

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. All quotes, characters, and rights go to Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Bastille Day**

_It would kill me if Chuck knew he'd ruined my summer._

_I'm sorry, B, was it really that bad?_

_I would be in my cabana at the Hotel du Cap, and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that Chuck Bass-tard._

Blair decided this was it. The day she would hate forever. It was the day that she stopped fooling herself. He wasn't coming. He was never coming. It was the French holiday she would hate until her grave. Bastille Day. The day of independence for the French. For her, it was the day of complete despair. She would forever be in chains because of him. The hard part was she still wanted him. And she hated him for it.

Blair couldn't do this. She couldn't just stay in this hotel and think of him. It was desperate and sad. She wouldn't let him resort her to this. She wouldn't be one of those broken girls he cast aside without another thought. No, she was going to be desperate and sad while looking out at the fireworks.

Blair trailed quietly through the throng of people rapidly speaking in French, pointing and laughing at the fireworks. She wanted to scream at them to stop being happy. She wanted everyone to be as miserable as she was.

The fireworks were loud. They drowned out her harsh sobs that wracked her body. She ignored the pointed stares as she shoved her way through the crowd. Alone. Always alone. She knew she had to return to her father's chateau soon. She wouldn't be able to survive on her own. She relished her time in the quiet public where she would hold herself together. It was the only way. She was used to being cold and frozen on the outside where no one could crack her mask. No one but him.

He would just throw her that offhanded smirk and she would crumble. She would melt in his arms and he would kiss her pain away.

But not now.

Not ever again.

Now she resorted to society smiles and fake laughter to hold herself together. She hated him. She had taken to using him as a crutch so she wasn't falling apart at the seams. But there was just that way that he stared at her. It was like he was probing in her mind, finding her greatest weakness and comforting her at the same time because he shared them with her. He could be gentle and sweet when they were alone. He would whisper sweetness in her ear and she would love him even more.

She had to have known it wouldn't always be like that. She had to have known she could never tame the beast within him. She had to have known that he would never change. Not even for her. He could never change for someone as broken and weak as her. She wasn't even sure if she wanted him to change. Then he would cease to be the Chuck Bass that she was madly in love with. And she couldn't take either of those things back. Devotion just wasn't in the Bass nature and she had been stupid to think he would do it for her.

The finale bloomed blood-red in front of her eyes, exploding as fire lit the sky. She wiped her tears furiously away and turned.

There he was. She stared. It had to be an illusion. But no one could smirk like him. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was smirking at her smugly like she had already forgiven him. She imagined him with his hair longer, part of it falling on his forehead. He looked beautiful. The bright lights accentuated the florescent jacket he was wearing.

And her heart broke.

That was when she made up her mind.

Chuck Bass was a dead man. She was going home. It was a week before she would return to the Hampton's. She would find a perfect boyfriend and she would break him. She would destroy him like she always did. And he would know that the bitch was back.

**Dress Up**

_I don't know where you've been, but your boy toy is a Princeton man. He and I talked about it while you played dress up with Serena last night._

Chuck drummed his fingers on his knee. This could really go one of two ways. He could make this so incredibly uncomfortable and be even more intimidating than he already was... or he could actually befriend the person who took the one thing that meant anything to him.

His eyes flicked to the window where he could hear Blair's laughter. She and Serena were trying on clothes. If he angled just the right way, he could see into Serena's room from their place outside. Serena was going on a date. He stared transfixed outdoors while he saw Blair peel off her blouse to reveal...

Incredibly uncomfortable and intimidating it was. After all, no one could intimidate like Chuck Bass could. He smirked superiorly at James. James looked at him curiously looking to where Chuck's penetrating gaze just was. He looked away again. Chuck hazarded a glance back up. Blair was glaring down at him. In her bra. Chuck smoothed his palms down his pants. He was aware that James was staring at him and he really didn't give a damn. He just gave a smug leer up at Blair who could definitely tell. She violently snapped the shades down.

Chuck met eyes with James again. He was really surprised. Really, if a completely hot and alluring teenage girl was half naked in the window, wouldn't you be looking? There was something wrong with this guy. But if he had difficulty performing, all the better for Chuck.

Eric coughed pointedly. Oh yeah. He was still there. And he knew exactly what was going on. This was one of those times that Chuck wanted to hug Eric simply because he was gay.

"So," James said awkwardly. "You said you and Blair knew each other for awhile?"

"Since birth," Chuck replied roughly.

"That's a little bit of an exaggeration," Eric supplied.

"Fine," Chuck rolled his eyes. "Since _my_ birth. She was born in November. Did she tell you when her birthday was?"

Eric had stopped trying to send Chuck covert glances. It really wasn't working and it never really would. Chuck knew Blair better than anyone and he was going to exploit that fact.

"Uh..." James said.

"That's alright," Chuck sighed. "You two have only known each other for six days. I wouldn't have expected her to drill you on everything. Even she forgets to clue you into some things."

"What are you trying to insinuate?" James questioned.

Chuck smirked. "Nothing."

James tried to look at Eric, but he avoided eye contact. As Chuck's legal step brother, he was obligated to side with him, even though he was acting like an extremely jealous ex boyfriend (which, granted, wasn't far from the truth at all) and would probably start a screaming match between him and the object of his affection.

"So, James," Eric said, trying desperately to change the awkward subject. "Where do you go to school. You're in college, right?"

Chuck shot his brother a look. Way to mention the fact that James was older than Chuck. He didn't know why women liked older men. But that was how he bedded so many freshmen.

"Yes," James replied, grabbing onto conversation that allowed him to look away from Chuck's hateful gaze. "I go to Princeton."

"Princeton," Chuck nodded. James eyed him warily. "I heard they call them the Princeton Tigers for a reason. Any thoughts on that?"

"I don't understand," James said in confusion.

"It was a very thinly veiled sexual innuendo," came Blair's dry voice from behind him. He felt her intoxicating presence behind his chair. "And the only reason you know that is because you had sex with Princeton's rep," she said, rounding the chair as she next to the only empty one, next to his. "Remember?"

Chuck let his gaze rake up her tantalizing legs covered only slightly in her skirt as she crossed them.

"Vaguely," he murmured. "There were other events following that which didn't make it that memorable."

Blair didn't meet his gaze pointedly, but he sat back, having won that round.

"Darling?" James asked. He obviously had no idea what was going on.

"Its nothing," Blair waved it away. "Just this thing we do at our school called Ivy Week. The boys have to usher for the Ivy schools rep. He was supposed to be ushering the Yale rep, but switched so he could violate the Princeton one instead."

"That seems like quite a story," James mused, not sure of what else to say.

"Well, like I said before," Chuck said smoothly and swiftly reached out to put his hand on Blair's thigh. "We've always been close."

Blair exhaled aggressively but didn't remove his hand which had descended more than was appropriate. There was still propriety that she had to abide by. Even if that made her not able to remove Chuck's hand because it would seem rude. James looked down to see how Chuck's hand was comfortably low on Blair's thigh.

"I think Serena's almost done changing," Eric announced. Always the peace maker, but Chuck still loved him.

"Of course," James said, rising. "We should greet her." Chuck finally caught Blair's eyes and smirked snidely.

"Of course," he said mockingly. James didn't get it. He and Eric rose. Blair didn't move. Chuck's hand still warmed her thigh. She hated how she missed a touch that could seem to innocent to the naked eye but could turn her insides quivering.

"At last, we're alone," Chuck said huskily. His hand just as swiftly went under her skirt to grab onto her hip. She jumped to her feet, shoving him away.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked angrily, trying not to alert her "boyfriend's" attention.

"Don't act so innocent, lover," Chuck said darkly, slowly getting to his feet. He took a step towards her and for the life of her, she couldn't find it in herself to back away. "You want this as much as I do."

She eyed him stonily. "I don't."

Chuck knew that was as far as he was going to get that night. But it was good enough for him. He followed Blair back inside where Serena also was. Blair was talking to her. Chuck passed James and gave him a smug smirk as he went to converse with his sister as well.

"So he and Blair really have known each other for that long?" he asked Eric.

"Well, we all have," Eric replied. "Our families have been friends forever."

"I would be wary of him," James replied. "If I'm not mistaken, it would seem as though one of her dear friends has developed feelings for her. She should watch out for that."

"Oh..." was the only thing Eric could think of to say.

"But I shouldn't worry about Blair," he said, answering his own question. "I trust her. After all, she wouldn't go for someone like that, would she? She's classy."

"Right."

That wasn't really a lie, was it? Sure, Blair didn't go for that exact type. But her type was Chuck Bass and even some boy she picked up in Europe couldn't change that.

"He seems like a dreadful womanizer. Blair's smart."

Eric couldn't even lie anymore. Blair was smart. Blair was incredibly smart. She was smart if it didn't come to Chuck Bass. But when it came to him, all of her morals were compromised. Her heart went in before of her brain and Eric wasn't about to clue James into the fact of how she gave her virginity so willingly to the only person who could ever understand her. He definitely wasn't going to mention how Blair was still so obviously in love with Chuck Bass either.

**Abandon**

_Look, I never should have abandoned you. I knew I made the wrong decision as soon as your plane took off. Distracted myself as summer, hoping I wouldn't feel it, but I still do._

_And?_

_I was scared. I was scared if we spent the whole summer together, just us, that you'd see._

_See what?_

_Me._

Chuck squinted up at the ceiling. It was dark and dank in his room. The way he liked it. This was where he could wallow and take pity on himself in piece. In all honesty, he was sort of hiding from his father. Not to mention Serena. He couldn't imagine what parts of him would be removed when she found out--

Chuck groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position on the floor. He fumbled around in the darkness for his glass of scotch that was probably under his desk where he left it in his drunken haze. Fate would have it that he found his phone instead. Fate hated him and wanted to punish him. He had the same train of thought. He glanced at the time. He should be there. Right now. He shouldn't be practically unconscious on his bedroom floor in a stupor of liquor.

The minute on his phone clicked the the next one. And the jet was off. At this very moment, she was under the impression that he was coming for her. He wished he could. But she was too smart. She would see the thing in him that connected them in the first place. She would see that he wasn't who she thought he was all along. He was just this messed up person who would always pray on her emotions. She would see that he had been lying to her all along and he couldn't have that. He would rather her hate him eternally than know the truth.

Chuck lurched to his feet, his fingers clasped over the curve of the glass. He brought it to his lips but couldn't take a drink. It tasted too much like him. He groaned and in a fit of rage threw it against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces.

Like him.

His packed suitcase was still on his bed. He couldn't take the sight of it. He started throwing clothes out until his room was cluttered with it. He collapsed onto his clothing on the floor. He hated himself so much. She deserved so much better than him. But he had to go and fall in love with her.

His eyes hesitated on the garbage can in front of him. He reached out his hand and stroked the petals of the ruined bouquet of roses that lay crumpled and sad. He didn't hear the door open.

"You're not going."

Chuck closed his eyes at the somber sound of Eric's voice. He couldn't take his conscience, let alone the one person who was smarter than all of them.

Eric looked around the room. Chuck could really be melodramatic when he wanted to be. It was dark. The lights were turned off and the shades were drawn as though he were in mourning. He looked at the shattered glass on the floor which alerted his attention to begin with. There were clothes everywhere and Chuck was just laying on the floor.

"Hiding from Serena?"

"Hiding from myself."

"You could still go," Eric suggested.

"No," Chuck said curtly. "I can't. Because I'm--"

"Chuck Bass," Eric sighed. "I know."

Chuck didn't have it in him to laugh. Not now. Not anymore.

"Despicable," Chuck corrected. "That was what I was going to say."

"You've been in here the whole time?" Eric asked, sitting on Chuck's bed, ironically the only thing that wasn't rumpled.

"I don't want to disappoint them."

"Them?"

"Serena will hate me."

Eric nodded. Despite Chuck's outward facade, he really loved having a family. He didn't want to one he just acquired to detest him as well.

"You know my father really liked her."

Eric's brows furrowed.

"He told me. At the wedding. He said she was... special. For me. And I was the one who couldn't bear being a _boyfriend_ that I had to abandon her. I could go after her. I know I made a mistake. But that's just me. I'm so screwed up that I just can't."

"Maybe she'll understand," Eric offered. "If you told her that."

"No," Chuck said again. "No. She doesn't deserve it. I don't hate her, remember?"

"I know. But you can't stay here and wallow."

"Like some chick," Chuck sneered.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. But I know I can't stay either."

He finally heaved himself to his feet, walking on his clothing and broken glass to get out of his den of oppression. Eric flicked on the lights. Chuck squinted and immediately turned his eyes away from his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't take it in. He couldn't look at himself. He was disgusted with himself.

"Distracting yourself won't help," Eric pointed out. "You do know that."

"I know," Chuck said, hesitating at the door. "I'll still be the terrible person inside. But at least her face won't be haunting my psyche."

Eric didn't want to be the one to tell him that it was quite the opposite. The more he slept randomly with women, the more her face _would_ haunt him. But Eric didn't have to tell him that. He would figure that on his own.


	30. Never Been Marcused

**A/N**: This episode won't have as many chapters as the last one. That was the longest one to date and is my new record. I can't tell you if this one will be that good, but I promise the next one is.

**Summary**: He stiffened instinctively. He felt her hand descend to his thigh. He had to swallow back his arousal if he was going to win this.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me because I could not create the amazingness that is Chair cuddling.

* * *

**History**

_I'm dining with Blair. And I feel I should tell you I know you two have a history._

She could feel him looking at her. Good thing that this is what she did best. She opened the door of the red car, a fake smile gracing her features. And yet... she still couldn't help looking in the rear view mirror to see Chuck looking down at his feet in dismay. And for about the hundredth time, her heart broke.

Marcus was speaking to her and all she could think to do was mumble monosyllabic answers, even when pretending to be happy. Marcus parked outside the house. Blair didn't move. And she realized her mistake.

"I saw you speaking with Chuck," he finally said after several moments of awkward silence.

"Yes," was all she could think of to say. It wasn't like she could deny it. He did have eyes. But they weren't the ones she envisioned herself staring into.

"I think we might have to talk, Blair."

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked incredulously. She was supposed to be breaking things off with him. She was supposed to be hearing declarations of love from the one person who really couldn't and leaving Marcus to go be with him. But that wasn't what was happening.

"No, of course not," Marcus said hastily. "Its just... I can't help but think, when I see you two together so casually..."

"What are you talking about?" Blair asked.

"You admitted to trying to make him jealous," Marcus hinted.

"So?"

"So..." Marcus said. "Were you really just friends before. Or something more?"

Blair looked away and sighed. "Its complicated."

"I'd like to know."

"I don't know how long that would take."

"Were you two in love?" Marcus asked.

And that was one question that Blair could honestly not answer. She didn't know. From Chuck's point of view, she definitely didn't know. Right now, she was leaning more towards no. But for herself... just because you never met someone so exciting and knew you so well and made your soul catch fire didn't mean that you were in love. Right?

"I don't know," she said truthfully.

"It just seems like a lot went on between the two of you."

"It did," Blair admitted. "But that doesn't matter now. I'm with you."

"I trust you, Blair," Marcus said. "But I don't trust him. I don't know him. I can't help but feel like he resents me for taking you away from him."

_Don't flatter yourself._

Just because she wasn't with him the exact same time that Marcus came along didn't mean that Marcus had anything to do with the drama that was Chuck and Blair. Quite, the opposite actually. Now Marcus was slightly more interesting. He was royal which had much appeal for Blair. If you couldn't get the Bass, get the Duke. And she wasn't about to cave to Chuck after everything.

"Chuck may be bitter, but don't worry about it. I would never betray you."

"I know that, of course," Marcus said. "I just don't want him to come in between us."

Too late.

Chuck would always be in the back of her mind. His ghost presence would always be mocking her, sneering at her for her personal choices until she had to finally become subservient to him. That had to be it. He couldn't really just want her. He wanted to divide and conquer. Then why was that hurt face of his getting to her?

Bass-tard.

"I wouldn't worry," Blair said sweetly.

She leaned in to kiss him, relieved that he would have no idea that the lips she imagined herself touching weren't his.

**Squash**

_No offense, but don't you think you're a little outmatched?_

_At squash? I've been playing my father since the 8th grade._

Chuck Bass was a confident person. He knew this. Everyone did. And the reason for this was solely because of one contributing factor. Nothing fazed him because when he went home at night, he faced the most intimidating man on the East Cost.

When it came to Bart Bass, Chuck had learned to keep his emotions in check. There was nothing Bart looked down upon more than weakness. Chuck may have had the facade of cool, but when it came to his father, all he wanted was to impress him.

That meant squash. It was the only pastime that they could share. It was the only bonding experience and despite Chuck Bass being Chuck Bass, he just wanted his father's approval. This meant beating him in every game that they played. Some would think that letting him win would make him like his son more. That wasn't so with the Bass family. Among anything else, the Basses valued strength. Chuck could impress his father by reigning supreme in everything they did.

No matter how well Chuck's squash talents exceeded his father (which wasn't much) Bart didn't really show appreciation. That was the other Bass mantra. Never show your feelings. So Chuck didn't. Never had never would. That was, of course, until his one match when everything lingered outside the glass where Chuck was attempting to beat his father.

That stupid bitch had to break his concentration. He glanced at her momentarily in the reflection. She had that haughty expression and crossed her arms superiorly over her chest. It was one second too long because he lost that round.

"We're done for the day," Bart said without question. Chuck's heart sank. At this rate, he would never get his father's approval. And it was all because of her. "Maybe if your efforts exceeded partying and women you could actually match me for once."

Ironically, it wasn't the women that he was bedding that were distracting him. It was the one woman that he never could.

It also may have seen strange for a father to say that to his son who wasn't even in high school yet, but it wasn't a secret in the Bass household that Chuck had lost his virginity in 6th grade. And this was the Upper East Side, after all.

Chuck opened the glass door and glowered at her as she still stood there.

"Good game," she said mockingly. "Maybe you should try out for the lacrosse team next season."

"And join your precious little lap dog?" he sneered. "Please." His eyes flicked to his father who had exited the doors behind him but was watching with vague curiosity etched across his face.

"What now, Waldorf?" he asked. "Rough day at the spa?"

"Actually," Blair retorted, seemingly not noticing how they were being watched, "I was looking for Nate. I thought he would be down here with you but..."

"But instead of cherishing the time spent with _his_ parents, he's probably in my suite getting high."

"Cherishing?" Blair repeated. "The competition between you and your father was so thick I was surprised you two weren't playing for opposing teams for Manchester United."

"Like you know anything about soccer."

"I would say the same about you," she replied. "And dating the soccer _captain_ does have its advantages."

Chuck had a retort ready on his tongue when his father approached.

"Blair," he greeted cordially.

"Mr. Bass," Blair said sweetly. Chuck had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. He was very aware that Bart had heard every word of that conversation. It was strange how Bart would treat her with more warmth than his own son. But in consolation, that still wasn't a lot of warmth anyway.

"You're well?" he asked.

"Very," she sighed prettily.

_Prettily?_

Sometimes Chuck had to catch himself. Sometimes really strange thoughts would find themselves embedded in his brain and he couldn't for the life of him figure out where they had come form. Sure, she was hot. But she was also Nathaniel's. And that was that.

"Despite _some people's_ best efforts," she said pointedly. Chuck just threw her his devilish smirk.

"Yes, well," Bart said, "Chuck does have that effect on most people."

Chuck glared at his shoes.

"He's lucky."

Chuck's eyes snapped up to hers in surprise. Was she... defending him?

"At least his parent deigns to spend time with him. Some of us should be so lucky."

She looked down at her watch. "I actually have to go."

"Of course," Bart said. She turned on her heel shooting Chuck another covert competitive glance and went on her way.

"She's quite something," Bart finally said as they gathered their things.

"She's okay..." Chuck said uncertainly. For the first time, he didn't know where his father was going with this.

"If I'm not mistaken, she's probably your only female acquaintance who you haven't victimized."

Chuck tried not to take that too personally. It was Bart after all.

"She's a friend," Chuck said simply. He could never do that to Blair... Unless she asked. But she never would. Because she was perfect. And he just... wasn't.

"A friend," Bart repeated. "Well she seems to be the only one who will tell you what she actually thinks of you."

"Except you, Father," Chuck said, unable to help himself.

"Yes well," Bart replied coolly at Chuck's comment. "She doesn't really match the type of girls you align yourself with. Brainless. Easily manipulated."

Chuck's eyes narrowed. He didn't like where his father was going with this.

"She's Nathaniel's," Chuck said darkly. He would never betray his best friend. Even for a one night screw.

"That does seem to be the opinion of the day, doesn't it?" Bart asked.

"She's a bitch," Chuck said shortly. At least he could be forward with his father.

"In my experience," Bart told him, "when you have strong emotions negatively towards a woman, it may just be covering up for something else."

"Like what?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"Like strong emotions that are passionately positive."

Chuck blinked. That was the longest conversation that he and his father usually had. And that bit of advice was something he was never really able to get out of his head.

**Desperate**

_Of course, Blair's desperate to meet her._

_And when Blair sets her mind on something..._

Serena knew her best friend. They had grown up together. Unfortunately, they had also grown up with Chuck Bass. And at this particular moment, she couldn't decide which of them were confusing her more.

Blair treated revenge as a sport. Her favorite sport. She was talented at it. Especially when Chuck Bass was her partner. But when it was "revenge sex" that came into play, the word "partner" took on a whole new connotation. And Serena didn't like it.

She really didn't like that way Blair was glaring at Chuck either at this point. Revenge sex was revenge sex. And what was done was done. So Serena couldn't for the life of her figure out why Blair was trying her damnedest to get every waitress at _STK_ offended and kick Chuck out. Blair wasn't supposed to care. Neither was Chuck. But that wasn't what she was seeing. At all.

Blair was chewing her crab delicately and staring at the bar. Once upon a time, Serena would have thought that Chuck's companion, Nate, was the object of Blair's affection. But every time she brought it up Blair would dismiss it and instead obsess about the women that were giving Chuck their undivided attention.

Serena just had to ask. Or blurt out in this case.

"Revenge sex."

Blair's head whipped around and stared at her incredulously.

"Have you been riding the crank monster again?" Blair deadpanned.

"No," Serena cried. "And you know that was just a rumor."

"Okay..."

"Blair," Serena said steadily.

"What?"

"I'm going to ask you something and I'm going to hope that you'll answer me with complete honesty."

"I will do my best."

"Blair."

"Okay," Blair laughed lightly. Serena couldn't help but notice how Chuck's dark eyes flicked over towards their table at the sound. Nate was mumbling something to him and he finally returned his attention to his best friend. "What is it?"

"Do you... like Chuck?"

"What?"

"Blair, you told me that you just slept with him for revenge."

Blair sighed.

"Those weren't my exact words."

"Well you insinuated it."

"I did," Blair replied sharply. "And do you know why? Because ever since you started dating Downer Dan, you have become more and more judgmental. Time was, you wouldn't judge me for sleeping with some guy because I wanted to."

"You... want him?" Serena asked tentatively.

"See?" Blair asked. "That just proves my point."

"Blair," Serena said. "You like him, don't you?"

Blair returned to her crab. That was her answer.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Well that's just done now," she said lowly.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't talk to you about this," Blair said. "Not if you're going to act this way."

"I want you to talk to me."

"Will you promise not to get that look of horror on your face when we address this, then?" Blair asked. "I didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. And I would appreciate it if you didn't look that way and make me feel worse. Just... be my best friend that I talk to when I'm into someone new."

"So you are?"

"Yes," Blair replied. "And I'm assuming that look will disappear when I start talking now."

"Yes," Serena said. "You can talk to me."

"Okay," Blair replied. "Then... yes. I think I like him. I forgot what it was like because I was with Nate for so long. I don't even remember feeling this way for Nate. Maybe it wasn't more than just some middle school romance."

"You feel what you feel," Serena admitted. "I know what that's like."

"Do you think he feels the same way?"

"Blair..." Serena stuttered. "I don't know. He's..."

"Chuck Bass," Blair rolled her eyes. "Like I haven't heard that one before."

Dark eyes had flicked towards their table again. He was listening. There was a strange smirk pulling at his lips.

"Maybe he does," Serena said. That was the only explanation of the way he was staring at Blair.

"He told me," Blair said. "But then I ended up having sex with him again. It was probably just a line. Right?"

"No one understands Chuck like you do," Serena replied. "Its always been that way."

"You think so?" Blair asked timidly.

Wow. She was right. This was something different.

"It would explain why he was staring over here the entire time we were talking about him," Serena finally said. Blair froze.

"Really?" she asked lowly. "Right now?"

"Um..."

"Don't look!" Blair said quickly. "But he was looking over here before?"

God, it was like they were in middle school.

"Yes..."

And there was that smirk that Serena dreaded.

"Blair..."

"Good," Blair said confidently. She rose from her seat without looking up. Without another word she turned towards the bar, still not looking at the eyes that were following her suspiciously. She reached the bar and immediately ordered a martini.

Chuck glared at her. This was not going according to plan. With her, it never was.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"What?" Chuck asked to Nate.

"I was just thinking about Blair," Nate said quietly so she couldn't hear. "Do you think she misses me?"

"No," Chuck said immediately, realizing his mistake a moment later.

"You... don't?"

Chuck sighed. "Honestly, I think she's moving on."

"Well... could you talk to her about it?"

"It would be my pleasure," Chuck said, sidling up to Blair.

"Bass," she said curtly, not looking at him. That would not do.

"Waldorf," he answered smoothly. "I couldn't help but notice how you were staring at me from across the room."

"Really?" she asked, finally turning to him. "Serena seemed to gather the impression that it was you who was staring at me."

"Serena was mistaken."

He loved the way her eyes darkened at him angrily.

"Its not my fault you're so enamored with me."

"Is that so?" she asked quietly. He stiffened instinctively. He felt her hand descend to his thigh. He had to swallow back his arousal if he was going to win this.

"Don't flatter yourself," he said shortly and reluctantly shoved her hand away. He didn't like the hurt that was in her eyes. But it wouldn't be there for long. And it wasn't. She quickly wiped it away. She leaned in intimately to Chuck's ear and this time, he couldn't force her away.

"Chuck," she whispered. He closed his eyes, trying not to remember how she moaned his name in situations just like this. It wasn't working.

"It never ceases to amaze me how you keep underestimating me. You think that I can't match you. Well you're wrong. You know what I'm like. And when I put my mind to something, I get it."

She pulled away with a satisfied smirk on her face. She rose from her position and retreated down the hall. Chuck turned a fraction of an inch to see Nate's confused face. What a shocker. But he didn't look mad so he obviously didn't get the intimate aspect of that little exchange.

"I'll go talk to her," Chuck said offhandedly and followed her down the hall.

"You shouldn't play games when you don't know the rules," he heard her say warningly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"You may be able to toy with your skanks, but not me. Don't think you can pull one over on me. You have no idea who you're dealing with."

He found her in the darkness, his hands curling over her arms.

"I know exactly who I'm dealing with," he said in admiration. "And what makes you think I'm toying with you?"

"One day you're all over me, the next you're completely ignoring me. I don't like it."

"I know," he breathed easily, enjoying the feel of her body pressed against his. At least she wasn't fleeing. "But of course I acted that way. Do you think I'd want to go through the drama of you pretending that we're not feeling something that is obviously there again? How else would I have got you alone?"

She shoved him away savagely.

"You were playing with me," she spat angrily.

"This was no game, Blair," he said softly, pulling her to him again. "It never was. Not for me."

He covered her mouth with his. It was a good sign that she let him. And pulled him closer.

"I know exactly who I'm dealing with," he murmured gutturally.


	31. The Dark Night Part I

**A/N:** So I'm reuploading tghis chaper because some reviewers alerted me to some inconsistencies and it would bother me if I didn't fix it. Everything's the same except I seemed to have gotten the second quote wrong. So I fixed that, but the stories themselves are the same. Also, the things that I want centered aren't centering so just deal with it because I've been trying to fix it like forever and its not working. Gr.

Nothing is mine.

* * *

**Discovered**

_Someone could walk in. Dorota..._

_So? Didn't you see that scene in_ Atonement_? That scene in the library where they're discovered..._

Blair knew it was coming. He was insatiable. She should have known that she was opening Pandora's box when she let him have her for the third time. The first one, she told herself it was just a drunken mistake even if she was only slightly buzzed. The second time, she was vulnerable. She told Serena it was for revenge. But when he showed up the following night smelling vaguely of scotch and smugness, she knew that was it. They were connected and there was nothing that she could do about it.

However, she wasn't even near the time when she was ready for her adolescent ex to find about the obsession she had recently developed in the form of his best friend. It wasn't that she was embarrassed to be seen with him in public. Quite the opposite. Whenever the were together around other people, she found it difficult to contain herself. She wished she could just kiss him without surprise and maybe even hatred radiating towards her in waves from other people. More like one person. A Nate-person.

What she was really afraid of was being made a fool of. She couldn't ask Chuck if he was getting anything on the side besides her because she was frightened of his answer. She was frightened of how her heart would break at the incredulous sneer. Why wouldn't he go after anyone else? What was she compared to all the sluts of the Upper East Side? She was afraid of the ache in her heart that she wasn't supposed to be feeling for Chuck Bass. She wasn't supposed to feel for him.

He was looking at her in that way again. Like he wanted her. And she couldn't stay in this room anymore with him staring at her like that. She would come undone.

"B?" Serena asked warily at Blair's nervous walk. Blair just smiled in her direction before disappearing outside the doors. Serena's eyes narrowed as she looked over. Chuck was staring right towards her. He noticed her attention and gave her that smug smirk. Serena rolled her eyes. He rose from his natural position at the bar and strode purposefully towards her.

"Why so sad, S?" he asked.

"She may trust you but I sure as hell don't," Serena said sternly. The corner of his mouth curled up.

"That's your decision. But believe me when I say that she does. She always trusts me." He reached out and flicked a lock of her long hair away from her face playfully. She jerked away.

"Well I'm finding it difficult," she retorted. He was looking at her with amusement. Like he pitied her ignorance.

"See you, van der Woodsen," he said, striding past her towards the door.

"Don't," Serena blurted. He paused for a moment. He shrugged simply and disappeared through the doors.

He paused in the hallways. He smirked. He knew exactly where she was. He opened the doors slowly to the library of the hotel. He went through the stacks. She was there, examining the spines of some of them.

"I left for a reason, you know," she replied in a hushed tone. It was a library after all.

"And why was that?" he asked, nearing her. She still wasn't looking at him.

"I don't like it when you look at me like that," she said coolly. He was standing next to her. He put his hand to her back. He was surprised that she didn't stiffen like she used to. Instead, her muscles relaxed and she exhaled.

"The present situation doesn't make it seem so," he replied, inhaling her sweet scent. The way angels were supposed to smell.

"You shouldn't look at me like that," she said quietly.

"Why?"  
"Because it makes me feel out of control."

"Some wouldn't find that such a bad thing," he said into her hair.

"You?" she asked skeptically. "You're just as much as a control freak as I am."

"Sometimes," he agreed. "But sometimes its good to get out of control."

Blair turned to meet his eyes. "Why do you make me want to believe you?" He pushed her hair away from her face.

"The same reason you're not walking away from me like you usually do."

"Maybe I don't want to anymore."

* * *

"Have you seen Blair?"

Serena glanced warily at Nate.

"What?" he asked.

"Why are you looking for her?"

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Nate..." Serena said sadly.

"Are you saying she doesn't want to see me?" he asked vulnerably.

"I'm saying--" Serena looked in annoyance at the drunken Upper East Siders downing shots. "I'm saying we should talk about this somewhere quieter."

She and Nate walked through the dark hallway. Serena pushed open the door of the library.

"Is there something I should know?" Nate asked quietly.

"You know how dramatic Blair is," Serena replied. "When you didn't show up to her party... some things happened."

"Like what things?"

"Like..." Serena said with difficulty. "She doesn't want you anymore. She's moving on."

"Already?" Nate asked in disbelief. "We dated for four years."

"Maybe she found something that was missing from your relationship."

Nate sighed as they walked among the stacks.

"Who?"

"I don't know," Serena said steadily. "I'm just saying, she's moved on."

"With _who_?"

"I don't know, Nate," Serena said again.

Nate paused.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Serena asked. And then she did. Nate was about to turn the corner when Serena grabbed the back of his jacket.

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"You know these quiet libraries in hotels are practically a breeding ground for sexual activity."

"Right," Nate said, walking away. "Are you coming?"

"In a second."

Nate shrugged and left. Serena crept towards the dark stacks. She heard it again. There was a definite rustle of clothing. Oh. And moaning. Spectacular.

"Waldorf."

"Stop."

"I need you."

"Please."

The whispers were hushed but Serena was glad she had sent Nate away. She turned the corner. His hand was creeping under her skirt but Serena was glad they were still mostly clothed. His shirt was untucked from his pants, but other than that they were somewhat decent besides the hair in disarray.

"Oh my god," Serena snapped angrily. Blair quickly shoved Chuck away.

"Serena," Blair said in surprise, smoothing the creases in her clothes and her hair. Chuck was smirking at her, smoothing his hair down. "What are you doing here?"

"What am _I_ doing here?" Serena demanded. "I thought you went home."

"And what made you think that?" Chuck asked smoothly, knowing very well that she saw him pursuing her best friend. Blair shot Serena a pointed look which Chuck didn't miss.

"Oh," Chuck realized. "So you told her about how you lost your virginity in the back of my limo?"  
Blair shoved her elbow into his ribs. He grunted but smirked.

"You can't do this," Serena said, ignoring the antics.

"Do what, exactly?" Chuck asked. "And please use specific details."

"Nate almost walked in on you two."

"That would have been unfortunate," Blair said. Chuck didn't respond.

"'That would have been unfortunate?'" Serena repeated. "Don't you care about him?"

"Honestly?"

"I don't know if I want to know," Serena replied.

"He doesn't deserve it," Blair replied. "And for the first time since I can remember, I'm happy. So no one will be saying anything."

Blair stomped off. This time, Chuck didn't follow her.

"What?" Serena snapped.

"Were you just listening to the same conversation I was?" he asked smugly.

"I cannot believe this," Serena said. "He's your best friend and you're being so... you."

"Well considering I just found out this means more to her than just sex then, yes, I'm inclined to be me."

Serena's eyes narrowed. "Like you care."

"Of course I care," Chuck sneered. "I wouldn't be with her if I didn't."

"And I've seen you kick more women out of your bed than I can count."

"Then it must be obvious to you that she's not like them," Chuck said. "She's different. She's special. And of course I care about Nate. But he mistreated her. She didn't deserve that. And she's... happy. With me."

"God, Chuck," Serena rolled her eyes. "Of course she's happy with you. You two are completely the same. That's not what I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?" Chuck asked.

"I know what you're like, Chuck," Serena replied. "You know what I'll do to you if you treat her like those other girls."  
Chuck walked closer. "I wouldn't dream of it."

And he was completely serious.

"When it comes to the heart, Blair is as blind as the rest of us."

"I know," Chuck replied. "I didn't know what it was until I was with her."

"You don't like her, do you?"Serena asked uncertainly.

"I trust you won't tell Nathaniel about this," Chuck said coolly before exiting the library. Serena wished she didn't know anything. Then it wouldn't humanize him and she wouldn't have to hate him even more when he would inevitably hurt her.

**Pharmaceutical**

_You must have tried..._

Everything_. From the erotic to the pharmaceutical._

_Sorry. I'm not laughing. Its just so obvious. You're not over Blair._

Chuck had half a mind to get his father to sue. Seriously. Well, seriously if he wouldn't have to admit that he was taking enhancement drugs. Because it wasn't like he was "taking enhancement drugs." It was a phase. This was just a phase. He went through that "petite brunette" phase and the "meaningful sex" phase and the "telling her that you're sorry you compared her to your father's Arabians" phase. He would get through this like all the others. He had to.

Please. Yeah, right. Like it did any good. Stupid late night commercials were so misleading.

Chuck switched off the Cinemax that wasn't helping gage a reaction at all. He took the bottle from the table and popped the pills. He probably wasn't supposed to be taking that many but they weren't working to begin with. He couldn't even count how many petite brunettes that should have measured up but never really did he kicked out of his room. It was infuriating.

He needed a drink. In retrospect, drinking probably wasn't helping in his condition, but it made him feel better. He trudged out of his room in his flannel pants and silk kimono styled robe. And that's when he realized he probably shouldn't have.

She was leaning against the propped open fridge door, deciding what she wanted. And he was just staring. She sighed, shifting her dark hair off the nape of her neck. And that was when he realized that there definitely was a god because the heatwave was proving wonders on Blair Waldorf.

Chuck wasn't really sure, but he must have made some sound of contentment because she immediately whirled around, her deep eyes locking with his. She closed the refrigerator door close. She was eying him suspiciously. His eyes trailed the bead of sweat that glided down from her collarbone.

Yes. It was official. There was a heatwave for a reason. Just by the sight of her, he felt his blood begin to simmer. He froze as it suddenly rushed from his head downwards. She narrowed her eyes at him and they both knew what was happening.

Finally it was kicking in, but Chuck had a theory that it had more to do with the goddess in front of him than the drugs he was forced to take because whenever he was with a woman, she seemed to transform into an uncanny form of Blair Waldorf. He wasn't getting rid of it any time soon and there was one deniable fact that was forever with him since he saw her strip her dress from her body for the first time. He needed her and he needed her now.

He walked predatorily towards her. He watched her visibly stiffen. She took a hesitant step away and her back hit the counter. She glared impressively at him but he knew that was just covering her emotions beneath. And he liked making her feel nervous. It was an aphrodisiac.

"Waldorf," Chuck said in what could only be described as his bedroom voice. She closed her eyes as he pressed himself against her. Her eyes snapped open as she felt his arousal against her. Her eyes slipped to his waistband then flicked back up to his. He stretched his hand out, pulling her damp hair from her neck. She tried to edge away from him but the counter was in her way. He leaned forward so his cheek touched hers and he placed a kiss beneath her ear.

"Chuck."

He smirked against her skin, letting his teeth graze her neck. She put her hands to his chest, trying to push him away. He restrained her hands in his. He nuzzled her neck and felt her shiver beneath her touch.

"I want you, baby," he said gutturally into her ear. "Won't you come to me?"

"Don't do this," Blair said through closed eyes, trying to shake away the terms of endearment he used to whisper in her ear, just like this. He knew she was unraveling right underneath him. He could have her. She still needed him like he needed her.

"Tell me you don't want this," he uttered. "Tell me you don't want me. Like I want you. Like I need you. Say it." She bit down on her ruby bottom lip that he wished you could capture in his mouth. He knew even though it would be her relenting, he knew he would lose in the process. Even though he was so obviously not over her (like he would ever admit that to anyone) he would fall so fast he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He would fall for her again and there wasn't anything he could do about it. But right now, his need for her overpowered all logic. And he just needed to feel her.

"I--"

"Blair!"

Damnit. His sister had the worst timing ever. Chuck pulled away reluctantly, knowing the game was lost. Blair was looking at the ground.

"Chuck, what are you doing?" Serena demanded, pulling Blair away from the predator that she welcomed.

"This isn't over, lover," Chuck said smugly as Serena gave him a death glare over her shoulder. But that wasn't what he was looking at. He was looking at Blair's penetrating gaze. He licked his lips obscenely in her direction. He knew she liked it. Beneath her cool exterior, Chuck knew ever inch of her. And he would have her. In the end, he always had her.

* * *

A/N: So good Chuckness all around. When he was using his "term of endearment" to her, I was actually being a little obsessive and stole it from the show. The part where Chuck is whispering to her before the blackout and when you can't hear anything, I put on the subtitles and that's what it said and it was perfect for the vignette. And let me know if the scenes that take place after Victrola and before Cotillion are getting a little repetitive. If you're getting tired of them, let me know (even though I love them) and I'll try to do some variety. Oh yeah, and I watch way too much late night TV and is really a male enhancement drug, so I stole it from there. And just beacuse Chuck taking them is just so hilarious.


	32. The Dark Night Part II

**A/N:** So the next installation of Dark Night. There's more of the Chuck and Blair affair, I'm just glad that you leave the affair as much as I do because I"m just going to keep writing them because that's what the quotes inspire me to do and the quotes never lie. And the one after that has Chuck intensity, so that's just as awesome. I don't know what's wrong with fanfiction that's not letting me center stuff so... just pretend it is. I hope it won't be this way forever.

**Summary**: She also knew when he was being real. And this was one of those times. He marked her possessively because she was his. Always was always would be.

**Disclaimer**: This all belongs to the intensity and awesomeness that was The Dark Night. All rights and quotes and such go to Chair. (Chair 3.)

**

* * *

**

**Cool Exterior and the Fire Below**

_The thing that always fascinated me about you. The cool exterior. The fire below._

Chuck didn't like this feeling. It was unfair. The last thing he thought when he hoped Nate would be free of his annoying and shrill girlfriend would be that he would to be falling for her himself. The main thing he didn't expect to have was the green eyed monster sink its angry claws into his heart. The same monster that made him want to physically attack his best friend. And he hated himself for it. That is, until she strode into the room.

Bitch.

Nate straightened immediately in his seat in the courtyard. Chuck's fingers twitched.

_You are not going to punch your best friend in the face. Do not punch your best friend in the face._

"What are you doing?" he drawled lazily instead.

"Uh," Nate replied, looking away from Blair. "Nothing."

"Really?" Chuck asked snidely. "Then you're not desperately and transparently trying to make yourself presentable for your ex who wants nothing to do with you?"

"What?" Nate asked in shock.

"Listen," Chuck sighed, "I know you're in a fragile state right now, but being frank with you is the only way to spare you from the pain."

"Okay..." Nate replied.

"I have it on good authority that she doesn't want you and she's moving on."

"Who said that?" Nate asked immediately.

"She did."

"Oh," Nate said in disappointment. Chuck should have felt bad for what he said, but it wasn't like it wasn't true. It was. Especially when she said those things as he was hovered over her in the back of his limo. That's when he liked that statement the best.

"I can't help how I feel," Nate finally said.

_Neither can I._

Blair strode right up to their table. She locked eyes with Chuck, completely ignoring Nate. He smirked.

"Have you seen Serena?" she asked, sitting next to Chuck, her back turned to his best friend.

"Thankfully, no," Chuck replied. "I don't feel like violating my own eyes by watching that flaming car wreck of physical relations."

"Dude," Nate shook his head. Chuck knew that this was merely to get Blair's attention. It didn't work, to Chuck's smugness. She was still looking at him.

"So, Blair," Nate coughed. Chuck clenched his jaw. By the glint in her eye, he knew she noticed it.

"Nathaniel," she said coolly. Nate's confused blue eyes narrowed as Chuck tried to muffle his laughter.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"That's good," Nate nodded. Chuck studied her. It was mind blowing. She could just sit there and be a frigid bitch. But that wasn't her. Not when she was with him at least. And it made him want her more.

"Are you going to Serena's on Friday?" Nate prodded. Blair cast him a bored look.

"Yes," she replied. She checked her Cartier Rolex. "I have Astronomy." She gathered her things he walked away. Chuck cast a glance at Nate. He looked disappointed but nothing was amiss. He didn't even know. Blair didn't take Astronomy.

"I'll see you," Chuck said, getting up.

"Where are you going?" Nate asked.

"I have an... appointment," Chuck said suggestively.

"Oh," Nate replied. "Right."

After all, it wasn't a complete lie.

She was talking to her minions. No doubt Penelope was trying to get a date out of Nate. Predictable. Hazel saw him and nudged Is. They giggled together. He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning against the side of the building. Penelope nodded in his direction. Blair turned slightly. She sighed visibly but left her friends behind.

"What?" she asked.

"I want to talk to you," he smirked.

"Oh," she replied. "You want to _talk_."

"Stop pretending that you have a chance in resisting me, Waldorf," he said smugly.

"I'll follow you," she said coldly.

But that was it.

That's what she wanted him to believe. He was on board now. He got the routine. It was confusing at first, but games were his favorite and Blair was his best partner.

"I'm not going into a bathroom with you," Blair snapped as he opened the door to the mens' room. Typical of the Bass. Not to mention tacky.

"Oh, okay," Chuck said accommodatingly. "Then would you prefer the custodian's closet?" Blair scowled but reluctantly followed after him anyway. Chuck shut the the stall behind him.

"What do you want to talk about?" Blair asked.

He smirked. Yes. He definitely wanted to talk in the bathroom stall. That's what they were here for.

"Are we really going to play that game?" he asked.

"And what game would that be?"

"Blair," he said straightly. Her fingers suddenly curled around his tie and pulled him right into her mouth. He groaned as her scarlet nails raked through his hair. He shoved her against the wall of the spacious space as he ravaged his hand over her stockings. He felt her flesh immediately begin to heat up.

No one could ever have her like he did.

No one.

**Knowledge**

_Did you really not know it was him? Can you honestly tell me that?_

_No. I knew it was him._

Blair remembered the first time she ever felt alive. It wasn't when Nathaniel Archibald asked her out or she went to her first society event. It wasn't her tour of Bendel's or Bergdorf's. It wasn't when she visited Yale for the first time. She remembered the exact date, the exact moment.

It was two days before her 17th birthday, stripping her dress right in front of leering eyes while dancing in a burlesque club. The point was, that moment lasted hours. That moment lasted after she entered the limo and kissed him on a whim. It lasted after he asked her if she was sure and she practically threw herself at him. And he let her.

It lasted until the pain of her virginity disappeared and he looked into her eyes. That's when she first fell alive. And Chuck Bass made it happen. He always did and he always would. So she pretended that she didn't know he was standing right behind her when she told Marcus to make her feel alive. She always knew. The air was different when he was around. At surrounded her and relaxed her. Like he did.

She walked upstairs and waited. She waited for him because she knew he was coming. He would always come for her.

"Marcus, is that you?"

She could see his reflection in the mirror.

It was the outline of someone breathing with want, not someone cold and flat.

"Blow out your candle."

Euphemism. He was always good at that. She was impressed at the lengths he would go to get to her. She was stupid if she thought he would stay forever. But he was here for her now. And that was promising.

She did what he asked. She blew out the candle and rose to her feet. She could feel it in her bones. He was behind her. His warm hands scorched her arms as he turned her to face him in the beam of moonlight. In the shadows. Where they would always meet. His hands searched for her and he pressed himself against her. He tasted like scotch and something essentially Chuck Bass.

She didn't know how to keep this up. She didn't know how to pretend that he was someone he wasn't. When she was with him, her mask was just stripped away. She wished she could just let it go, but her moaning gave her away. She felt him smirk into her mouth.

"Blair," he said roughly. He had abandoned the accent altogether. They both knew what was going on. And she couldn't pretend. "Say my name."

She didn't want to. Saying his name would prove that she knew it was him. She would lose this game. She was an adulteress. She was in love with a womanizer and was willing to commit adultery with him. She was willing to do anything with him.

She pressed her mouth to his but he pulled away again.

"Blair."

"Marcus."

Blair knew she was digging her own sexual grave even before the words left her mouth. Maybe she just liked vexing him. It was like a sport. A game they played with each other. Chuck wrapped her extensive hair around his fist and pulled her head back viciously.

"You bitch," he snarled into her ear. "Say my name, Blair."

She felt herself shaking in his arms. He made her nervous. And she hated how she liked it.

"Say it," he told her darkly. His fingers dug into her bare shoulders. She knew he was near his breaking point. She knew how tense he got. She wound her fingers in his hair.

"Blair," he said, beginning to pull away.

"Chuck," she whispered headily. Suddenly, his arms encircled her waist, pulling her flush against his hot body.

"Chuck," she husked again, sighing with sweet, sweet contentment. She was in his arms again and that was worth everything.

His mouth descended to her neck, biting so she was marked as his. She knew how he operated. She wasn't completely dense. She knew he had an alternative motive. She was best friends with Serena. She knew he was having _mechanical_ problems. He was using her. But she always seemed to let him use her.

She also knew when he was being real. And this was one of those times. He marked her possessively because she was his. Always was, always would be.

"God, I need you," he groaned into her skin. She pulled his collar suddenly, forcing his mouth to hers again. His hand descended to her thigh, riding her skirt up.

She loved him.

She hated herself.

And she loved him.

She didn't even notice when the lights came back on.

Neither did he.


	33. The Ex Files

**A/N**: So I actually didn't put in a ficlet of after Victrola and before Cotillion for once. Sorry. I have to admit, the middle ficlet isn't my best work but I do personally like the first and last one. So as request of one of my amazing reviewers, I tried to put in more love-thoughts from Chuck. I tried to do it more subtly but I hope it works.

**Summary**:

"Hazel violated the rules," Blair replied.

"And don't I wish I were the one who could violate you," he smirked, leaning into her.

**Disclaimer**: All quotes, characters, and basically everything belong to Gossip Girl, as much as the fracture of my lovely Chair has saddened me (I think they're getting back together at the end of tonight.)

**

* * *

**

**Laws**

_She met some new friends. They extended and invitation to her for lunch. Hockey sticks were involved. You know how persuasive our girls can be._

_Okay. But why?_

_Well, if they anoint Amanda into their fold, she'll be bound by their laws. Namely, she won't be allowed to date ex-boyfriends._

Blair was confused. She hated the feeling. It made her feel as though she wasn't in control. And that just wouldn't do. It was not so long ago that she watched Nate walk out of Hunter College with Vanessa. She felt betrayed. Right? But right now...

It made sense. She was with Nate for four years. But when she watched Hazel flirt shamelessly with the one person Blair vowed to hate forever, she felt as though she couldn't breathe. Her heart was constricting and she wanted to curl up and die.

That didn't make sense. She was with him for, what, two months? And yet, she knew she was completely enamored with him. He made her feel things that she didn't even know existed. She was letting Nate go. But Chuck... the bastard was obviously setting up shop in her heart. And Hazel would pay for that.

And if he got caught in the crossfire... then he probably would deserve it.

She heard Penelope and Is tittering behind her. Blair turned slowly away from the massacre she was about to induce.

"Is," Blair said coolly. "Do you see what I see?"

"What?" Is asked nervously. But Blair knew they were all looking at the same thing that she was.

"I see a girl in violation of the rules," Blair said acidly.

"Is it really violation?" Penelope asked without thinking. "I mean, its not like you two actually went out..."

She recoiled at Blair's fiery gaze.

"Is," Blair said again. "Tell me what you see slutting it up over there?"

"I see..." Is started, "someone who's going after an ex boyfriend. Which is against the rules."

"Exactly," Blair smirked.

"What do you want us to do?" Penelope asked excitedly, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

"Nothing," Blair replied. "I want you to do nothing."

Penelope and Is watched in surprise and confusion as Blair walked off. In the direction of her victims.

She could feel his eyes on her face now as she strode past. She paused as she was about to walk right by then, pretending she was seeing them for the first time.

"Hazel," she said curiously. She refused to look at him even though she knew his dark eyes were examining her.

"What do we have here?" Blair asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What?" Hazel asked.

Blair couldn't take it anymore. If she didn't look into his eyes immediately, she wasn't really sure what would happen. He just had this effect on her that made her do exactly what he wanted. She looked over. He was smirking knowingly at her. She should slap him. He was totally provoking her. Jerk.

"You do remember the Rules of the Projects, don't you?" Blair asked.

"We're just talking..." Hazel said, looking away, realizing what was happening.

"To a Bass," Blair sneered. "You can go now."

Hazel took a deep breath and walked off towards the rest of the minions. Blair was about to walk away when his scorching touch pulled her back.

"So I guess the queen is exempt from the rules," Chuck said lowly. "Or maybe... that wasn't the rule you were talking about."

Blair looked away. He still held steadfast. He wasn't letting her go.

"Maybe the rule you were referring to was the one where your... _friends_ can't date ex boyfriends."

Blair glared at him.

"You were never my boyfriend," Blair sneered.

"Well it wasn't for lack of trying," Chuck replied, "that's for sure."

Blair couldn't hide the shock on her face.

"But maybe you never felt the same," he shrugged. "Or maybe you did. And this is just an excuse to let yourself get into a jealous rage."

"You're reaching," Blair said shortly.

"Maybe," he said casually. "But I don't have to."

That's when she realized that his hand was still caressing her arm. She hadn't even noticed. She was letting him. Because it felt comfortable. And just... right.

"Just say it, Waldorf," he replied, nearing her so she could feel the heat of his body. "Tell me you miss me."

"I don't."

"Funny," he said, "because you eyes don't match your mouth."

She forced herself to wrench from his grip.

"Serena's going through a hard time," Blair said quietly. "I should go..."

"She invited you to my father's wedding rehearsal and yet you're talking to me. As usual."

"Hazel violated the rules," Blair replied.

"And don't I wish I were the one who could violate you," he smirked, leaning into her. She stepped back.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't let her know she made a mistake?"

"The type of friend who pretends there isn't something between is."

"There isn't," Blair retorted, pulling away. She knew his eyes were on her back the entire time she was walking away.

She wasn't going to look back. She wasn't going to look back. She didn't still want him. She couldn't. She sighed. She scowled.

Hazel wasn't with the rest of them. And she still had to teach her a lesson. She approached Penelope and Is.

"Where's Hazel?" Blair asked coolly. Penelope sighed. She knew they were both suppressing smugness about Blair falling for someone she wasn't supposed to.

"I think she's by the bar," Is said helpfully.

Blair strode over. And there she was.

"Hazel," Blair said.

"B," Hazel smiled. Blair knew that she was practically shaking in her Jimmy Choos.

"What do you think you're playing at?"

"I don't..."

"Because you know I can end you," Blair said threateningly. "In an instant."

"Blair, I'm sorry..."

"You think because you made a lapse in judgment and let him breach your virginity he actually wants you?"

"What?" Hazel exclaimed. "I didn't... I didn't... how... did you know?"

"He told me," Blair said coldly. "Because we talk."

"I didn't think what I was doing," Hazel said with shame. "I didn't think that you still--"

"I don't," Blair cut her off. "I don't. But those are the rules."

"You don't, though," Hazel said. "You don't still..."

"You won't talk to him again," Blair said coldly.

Chuck smirked from his position against the wall. Hazel walked away, shaking, from Blair who took a swig from her martini. He crept with his predatory walk. He watched her stiffen as she felt his presence behind her.

"How strange," he murmured in her ear. She turned slowly and looked at him skeptically.

"What are you talking about?"

"Just the sight of your little red head crying in the corner."

"I'm pretty sure that Hazel's blond," Blair replied. He smirked. She exhaled. "Go away, Chuck."

He just stared at her.

"Stop."

"I'm not doing anything," he smiled.

"Whatever you think you're doing..."

"Please," Chuck interrupted her. "Don't fool yourself into thinking this is about some high school rules."

"What else would it be?"

He leaned in to breathe into her hair. "Us."

He pulled away. "I'll see you at the wedding. I'm looking forward to that dress of yours."

He smirked and backed away. Blair hated how she was looking forward to it as well.

**Nairtini**

_9th grade. The Danish exchange student flirting with your junior prom date. You still remember how to serve a Nairtini, don't you?_

Women were so easy. Just offer to be their junior prom date to make their ex jealous. And in an instant, he had his conquest for the night. But there was that thing. And that thing was there was only one uptight, completely shrill bitch that could distract him from the blond that was sucking on his neck. He pushed her off of him. He ignored her protests.

"Waldorf," he said, adjusting himself. "What are you doing here?"

She was striding through the room flanked by her minions. She nodded to them, allowing them their leave.

"Bass," she greeted. "Are you the only one allowed to breach the junior class?"

"Me?" he asked skeptically. "Well you're never really one to do anything without your pretty other half if there wasn't something in it for you. How'd you get in?"

"Oh," she smiled sweetly. "I have a date."

She nodded towards the blond smiling at her.

"He's captain of the varsity lacrosse team."

"And what about dear Nathaniel?" Chuck asked. "He is my best friend."

"What Nate doesn't know won't hurt him," Blair sighed. "He's closing up the family yacht with his father. But you are right."

"Not surprising," he smirked, while annoyed at the probing glance of the stupid jock. "But about what, exactly?"

"There is something in it for me."

She nodded towards some blond twig flipping her hair at some junior.

"The danish foreign exchange student," Chuck nodded. "But I didn't know that you swung that way."

"You could tone down the crudity," Blair sneered.

"Then I wouldn't be me."

"Of course," Blair replied. "But her impending destruction has more to do with Penelope than with me."

Chuck looked back at her. That looked a lot like...

"Penelope's date," he nodded.

"Yes," Blair replied. "So if you don't mind..."

"Why?" he asked. "She's not threatening the social order."

"Someone does something against one of my girls, they deserve to be destroyed."

Chuck nodded.

"Did I tell you how ravishing you look?" he smirked. Blair sighed.

"I'm sure whatever little fantasy you've concocted will tide you over until that slut of a junior."

"Jealous?" he asked.

"Don't you wish it," Blair rolled her eyes.

"And by the way," Chuck replied, leaning into her ear, "you know you have some curiosity as to what every woman sees in me."

"You mean every woman with brain damage."

"Witty," he replied.

"We agree on something..."

"_Do you see what he's doing?_"

Blair looked over to see how Penelope was crying on Hazel's shoulder.

"That Danish exchange student looks a little thirsty," Blair said coolly. "Don't you think so?"

Chuck looked over and smirked.

"I didn't come prepared."

"Luckily I am always prepared," Blair smirked.

"An admirable quality," he replied. "You know there are some activities that I would love you to be prepared for."

Blair rolled her eyes. She reached into her clutch and retrieved the blue bottle.

"You are prepared," he said. "But it looks like you're lacking in some materials."

"Luckily you're with me," she said sweetly. He looked down at her.

"What makes you think I have it?"

"Because," she sighed, "as much as I hate to admit it, you always come prepared."

He looked down.

"I'll get the bleach," he smirked.

"Penelope," Blair said as she approached them. "Give me your martini."

Penelope wordlessly handed it over and Blair drained it.

"Let me show you how to mix a Nairtini," Blair said.

She emptied the Nair bottle into the glass. Chuck appeared behind her shoulder.

"What are you going to do?" Penelope asked as Chuck finished it.

"What _you're_ going to do," Blair replied. "Let's see what happens to the Danish slut when you accidentally trip and pour this in her hair."

Penelope smiled and took the glass from her and walked away. Blair watched as the Danish student started pulling out her own hair.

"What was that about?" Blair's date asked.

Chuck didn't like him. And then he did something he really had no right to do.

"You know she has a boyfriend, right?" Chuck sneered.

"Chuck," Blair exclaimed and hit him across his shoulder with her clutch.

"I didn't know you were dating," the junior said.

"What?" Blair exclaimed as he walked off. "He's not my boyfriend."

Blair glared at Chuck

"What is your problem?"

"I was just protecting my best friend," Chuck shrugged. "You wouldn't want to have to fake your virginity after some drunken mistake, now would you?"

"Please," Blair rolled her eyes. "I'd never be that tacky."

"We'll see," Chuck smirked as she walked off.

**Jealousy**

_I don't get it. You wanted me to pretend to like this guy to make his ex-girlfriend jealous?_

_Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen._

He felt sick. Literally sick. He hated it. He hated her. He hated him. Nate had no right. One could argue that Chuck had no right. 20 minutes after a break up may not have been the smartest time-frame. But they were _broken up_. And now that bitch was back with him and it wasn't fair.

Nate didn't know her. Not really. Not like Chuck did.

"You've been drinking."

Right again, Waldorf.

There really wouldn't have been another reason why he was there. He wouldn't actually approach her if he was sober. You'd think that she hadn't learned anything. Foolish girl.

"Stop it, Chuck."  
Chuck smirked into her shoulder at the deserted corner at the party. He was well aware of her fear that Nate could catch them. But technically Chuck wasn't doing anything wrong. At least, nothing that he hadn't done before. He was being his lewd, drunken self. Same old, same old.

"I like how you say my name."

That was really always his weakness. That first night that they spent together, Chuck was sure that she was thinking of Nate the whole time. Or maybe she was just being with him to forget Nate. Someone the complete opposite of him would make her forget.

But then she said it. She purred his name so sweetly in his ear and that was when he knew there was no going back. Something curled in his gut that he didn't know. It wasn't familiar. It wasn't right. Basses didn't do this. Chuck Bass didn't do this. And watching her with her stupid boyfriend made him realize it could only be one thing. He didn't feel this way about women. But she was different than all others. And once you got a taste of Blair Waldorf, it was impossible to turn back.

"What are you doing?" she demanded in a hushed whisper.

"I could ask you the same question," he sneered. "You shouldn't be so defensive, Waldorf. After all, you did breach our little pact."

"Pact?" she repeated. "That was you blackmailing me. There's a difference."

"The difference doesn't matter," he told her. "Maybe I should go right up to Nate right now and--"

He felt her tug viciously on his designer sleeve, pulling him back. He suppressed a smirk. At least she still needed him for something.

"Don't. Please."

"That's what I like to hear," he said hotly in her ear. She didn't respond. He pulled away to see that her eyes were closed. He recognized that look. He liked that look. He loved that look. That was the problem. Of course he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't. Of course he wouldn't be trying to sabotage his best friend if he didn't. But he did. It was the only reason. He _loved_ that look. He pushed her hair tenderly out of her face. Her eyes snapped open and she pushed him savagely away.

"You won't be telling him anything."

"If mine ears don't deceive me," Chuck growled, "that sounded a lot like an order."

"What do you have to gain?" Blair demanded. She couldn't understand. "What would you get out of all of that?"

He leaned forward again and she felt as though her body would melt right into his.

"You."

This time she didn't pull away. She hated that she was still falling for him deeper and deeper. He would look at her in that heart stopping way and she couldn't get enough of it. Nate looked at her sweetly, but it didn't make her clothing just fall off of on its own accord. And you couldn't put a price on that.

"Stop--"

But he didn't. He crushed her lips with his own scotch tasting ones. It was disgusting. He was completely assaulting her. He was forcing himself on an unwilling participant.

_Unwilling_.

She had to be unwilling... didn't she?

Damn.

She just wished she wasn't so turned on. She liked the way he handled her. He was so unlike Nate and that was when she realized that he was for her. Nate was sweet. Chuck was dark. And he just ignited something in her that at that very moment she couldn't accept. She had to settle for Nate because Chuck was just too dangerous. He made her feel but he could break her heart faster and harder than anyone. And she couldn't take that chance. Not now.

She reluctantly shoved him away, wiping her mouth to find that he had kissed her ruby lipstick off.

"You're disgusting," she sneered.

"You say that like it offends me," he said, mirroring her expression.

"Goodbye, Chuck," she retorted, knowing that staying any longer would ruin her.

"You shouldn't be so quick to dismiss, Waldorf," he warned. "You don't know what could send me over the edge."

Blair was afraid. He was the only one who could gage a reaction from her like that. The way he leered and licked his lips in her direction was in a way that seriously frightened her. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to be something that she didn't understand. But somehow, she did understand. She understood that there was no one like him. And no one could replace him.

Chuck reached out a hand to the wall, steadying himself as he watched her walk away. He knew in an instant, she had created a monster in him. She had created it as soon as she shed her insecurities and vulnerabilities on his stage and let him breach and violate her virginity in the back of his limo. He realized that his words rang with truth in every word. She couldn't test him. He was a monster and even he didn't know what else would send him in a jealous rage enough to destroy her.


	34. The Serena Also Rises

**A/N**: I feel like these ficlets are sort of fast paced, but I hope they're enjoyable anyway. I have this really long quote but all of the information is important, so I just put it in there anyway.

**Summary**: "That's just great," Blair said, flipping her hair in anger. He didn't know why, but somehow in his half drunk mind, she looked really hot when she was angry with him. But he shook that thought clear away.

**Disclaimer**: All quotes and such belong to Gossip Girl.

**

* * *

**

**White Castle**

_Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle? And beer before liquor? How do you know so many twins?_

_The twins find me._

Dan Humphrey hated Chuck Bass. He hated how he had to do this. He was glad he was well on his way to being drunk. Then he wouldn't have to deal with all of the snide comments. Then he wouldn't have to deal with the guilt.

"_White Castle_?" Dan slurred. Chuck narrowed his eyes. He wasn't dense. He knew that he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. He hated how she could manipulate his emotions without even trying. He was sure that she didn't even know that she could do it. She was right. That was what hurt so much. She was right in saying that his own father didn't even like him. He just needed to pretend he had someone who knew him whose virginity he didn't take. But that would never happen.

"Are you coming or not?" Chuck drawled as they walked up to the front..

"To _White Castle_?"

"Its not what's in the _White Castle_," Chuck sighed. "Its what's behind it." Chuck sidestepped the wall and Dan blanched. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"Close your mouth, Humphrey," Chuck said as they walked through the door. "They'll get the wrong idea."

"They" were the obvious hookers walking around the dim room.

"Take your pick," Chuck smirked. He was making sure not to drink that much tonight because this was entertaining. He wanted to remember this.

"What?" Dan asked in confusion. "Me? No. I—I--"

"Are still hung up on my sister?" Chuck asked.

"No."

Chuck was so sure.

"Whoa."

"What?" Chuck asked. He wished he hadn't. There she was. Chuck stiffened. This was the worst timing ever. He was sure that Humphrey was so drunk that he wouldn't notice. Or maybe he was just drunk enough.

Damn.

"That girl coming over here..."

"The hooker."

She was nothing else to Chuck. Nothing but someone he paid to make him feel something he hadn't in practically a year.

"Doesn't she sort of look like Blair Waldorf?"

Chuck clenched his jaw. He watched the brunette approach them. He was definitely drunk enough for this.

"No," Chuck said curtly.

"Hey, Bass," she said sweetly. God. She was in character. This was so not the time for this.

"Do you two know each other?" Dan asked.

"Oh, we know each other," she whispered in Chuck's ear. He jerked away. Dan was confused. Chuck turned his back to Humphrey to face the girl whose name he hadn't bothered to ask.

"Go. Away," he said harshly to her.

"Chuck," she said quietly. Chuck was glad that Humphrey was inebriated and far enough away that he couldn't hear what was about to happen. "I know you've got the cash. Enough to let you call me Blair again, at least."

He grasped her by the shoulders and shoved her away.

"I said no." He turned to Dan. "We're going."

"But we just got here," he replied.

"Fine. Whatever."

Dan still followed him through the throng of half naked women who he wasn't even paying attention to.

"You know what's really weird?" Dan asked.

"What?" Chuck finally said, deciding to play along because it wasn't like he had anything better to do. And anything to get Humphrey's mind off what sort of definitely just happened.

"There are like no blonds in this place."

Chuck wasn't about to clue him into the fact how most of the women in this place were employed by him.

"What a surprise," Chuck responded. "You only respond to the flamboyancy of women like my sister."

"What?" Dan asked. Chuck didn't know why, but he decided to embellish.

"People like you don't understand the subtlety of dark eyes and biting remarks."

"What?"

"Never mind."

It wasn't like Humphrey could really understand anyway.

"Are you going to continue waste my time, or are you going to pick one?"

Dan stared at him. He really just saw these women as objects. Something to devour to satiate his temporary hunger. Like a sandwich. But the strange thing was he wasn't. He was barely even looking. And it just didn't make sense.

"What about you?" Dan asked. "Aren't you going to pick one?"

"Not tonight."  
"Why not?"

Chuck scowled again. "No point. Its not like I even see them anymore."

"What does that mean?"

Chuck couldn't believe the one person he was confessing his inner most turmoil to lived in a sad loft in Brooklyn. It wasn't like he was going to remember in the morning, anyway. And even if he did, Chuck would murder him. It wasn't like he talked to... _her_ anyway. They weren't friends and that was comforting. At least comforting in the respect that it made him not think about his tortured soul for about 2.5 seconds.

"You were with Serena," Chuck sighed. "And you didn't look at other women."

"Well..." Dan sighed. "I mean... I noticed other women."

"Well I didn't have to," Chuck replied. "I've spent my entire life sleeping with every woman that moved. That's tired. And there's that one person who knows me. And there's no one like her. The rest are boring. They don't know."

Dan was nodding and Chuck was sort of relieved that he knew Humphrey had no idea what he was saying.

"You were in love?" Dan asked suddenly.

"No," Chuck replied, his answer ready. "I'm not in love. Never was. Never will be."

"That's rough," Dan said.

"No," Chuck said again. "Its worse."

"How many twins are in this place?" Dan asked in awe, his attention already switching from Chuck to the beautiful women around him. The women that Chuck didn't see. The ones he used anyway because it filled the void temporarily until he felt that prick of loss again.

"A lot," Chuck said. "There are a lot."

**Jail**

_My father doesn't care enough to get angry._

_Yeah, I'm sure._

_Please. He expects this. He'll be annoyed that he has to call his lawyer. But after that..._

_Has he always been like that?_

_Since the day I was born._

_That's crazy. Even Bart Bass doesn't hate babies. Its in our DNA. I think Disney did a study._

_He hated me._

_That doesn't make sense._

_It does if his beloved wife died giving birth to me._

_That's not your fault._

_Tell him that. Sometimes I swear he thinks I killed her. Who knows? Maybe I did._

The blue and red lights flashed across his face. Chuck lay on his back as he squinted to the ceiling of the bar. The guy that hit him was hovering over him.

"Surprise."

"What?" Chuck slurred.

"Get up, Bass."

Chuck felt sturdy hands hauling him to his feet. He looked into the vaguely familiar face. Then he noticed the uniform again.

"Officer," Chuck greeted, leaning against him. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Considering you got into another bar-room brawl? Not really."

Chuck willingly climbed into the back of the squad car, laying down on the seat.

"What did you do this time?"

"I seem to be attracted to the hot older women who have insanely jealous boyfriends," Chuck muttered into the seat.

"Really?" the officer asked. "The last girl I saw you with seemed your age. Pretty."

Chuck laughed. "She's a friend. Actually, she's my best friend's girlfriend. Off-limits."

_And she's more than pretty. She's wondrous. Thanks for asking._

"I'm sure that's never stopped you before," the officer said.

"Its different," Chuck replied. "She's different."

Chuck felt the car halt beneath him. His phone vibrated. He looked to see he had a new message.

From Blair.

**WHAT THE HELL**

Wow. Even in text message form he could tell how furious she was. Funny how he didn't even remember texting her. He was about to look at the last message he sent her to see what happened when the door snapped open and he was pulled from the seat.

He was pulled into the precinct and his phone was taken from him.

"Hey," Chuck said in annoyance.

"You know the drill, Bass," the officer sighed. "We've got to confiscate it. And the Rolex."

"That has sentimental value," Chuck slurred but let them take it anyway. His phone vibrated again and he tried snatching it.

"Sorry," the officer said, pulling him to the communal cell. Chuck took the bench as they closed the cell door behind him. Now he would wait for his father's annoyance to call the family lawyer. He didn't like how the guy next to him was eying him. It was creepy.

Chuck wasn't even sure how long it was until he heard his name was called. The alcohol was wearing off and he was glad. Even if the pounding headache wasn't really doing anything for his pretty face.

"Chuck Bass," the officer said again. "You've been bailed."

Chuck lurched to his feet and followed to get his belongings. He retrieved the bag they gave him, getting his phone and watch back mechanically. This wasn't the first time. He turned and that's when he saw her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Who do you think bailed you out, you jerk?" she snapped, getting to her feet.

"Did I do something to offend?" Chuck asked, being clearheaded again.

"_Did you do something to offend?_" Blair seethed. "Do you even remember what you said to me?"  
"I remember gaining consciousness on the dirty floor of a bar," Chuck replied, walking towards her.

"That's just great," Blair said, flipping her hair in anger. He didn't know why, but somehow in his half drunk mind, she looked really hot when she was angry with him. But he shook that thought clear away. "So you don't remember what you said when you called me? And the text you sent me?"

"I'm going to go with 'no,'" Chuck said steadily. Blair groaned and grabbed his phone from his hand. She flipped to his last text, holding it in front of his face. He sighed and squinted at it.

"I don't understand," Chuck finally said.

"Well that's a first," Blair replied, "coming from something who thinks he knows so much."

"Why are you being such a bitch?"

"A bitch?" Blair asked. "I bailed you out of prison."

"Well I didn't ask you to," Chuck said, shouldering past her onto the street.

"Yes, you did, Bass," Blair sighed, her anger evaporating instantly. It always fascinated him how her moods could swing in an instant like that.

"What?"

"You know, right after you told me what you were going to do to me."

"What are you talking about, Waldorf?" Chuck asked in confusion, though vaguely curious about what "vulgar things", as she liked to call them, he had said this time. He looked at his jumbled text again.

**I ne3ed ur helpp**

"What exactly did I say?" Chuck asked curiously.

"Chuck," Blair sighed. She looked worried. He didn't like the fact that he was the one who put that look on her face. "You've never gotten this drunk before."

He just shrugged. He had to call the limo.

"Its coming," she replied, as though reading his mind. "You have a high tolerance, Bass. You've never gotten this smashed before."

"Why do you care?" he snapped. "You're just Nathaniel's girlfriend. Why are you even here?"

"Because you asked me to," she said. "I didn't know what was going on. You scared me."

"Well I am so sorry to disrupt your date with your precious Nathaniel."

"Does it even occur to you in your convoluted and self absorbed mind that I wanted to get away?" Blair asked before she could stop herself. Chuck recoiled in surprise. She looked away in embarrassment. Chuck looked at her with curiosity. She never did this. She never told anyone anything and it didn't make sense.

"What?" she snapped. "Do you want me to tell you how my father came home once again smelling like men's cologne? How once again Nate doesn't even care, let alone notice? How my mother pretends she doesn't see it and Serena is sleeping around with investment bankers and the only one I can even identify with is you and I have to come and bail you out of prison?"

"Well," Chuck said. "This is a surprise."

"There," Blair said. "Now I've divulged my inner most secret that no one knows and you'll probably use it against me rather than comfort me or whatever normal people are supposed to do."

"I don't know how to comfort people, Blair," Chuck said. "But I do know secrets. And you and I both know that's not your deepest one."

Blair knew he knew what she did in the bathroom on her knees.

"I also know how to keep them."

"Why were you drinking like that?" Blair asked, ignoring his sentiment. "And don't even ask why I care because I have no idea."

"I would gladly take your night, minus the Nate part," Chuck said, realizing that he was still slightly drunk. He couldn't believe that he was telling her this. "Because it turns out, I killed my mother."

That's when it occurred to him. Blair was one of his only friends. And the only woman he could really be honest with. She didn't flinch. She didn't turn away from him or wave it away.

"It must suck to go to jail on your birthday," Blair said.

There it was. She understood even though she couldn't possibly.

"I thought Bart said she died in a plane crash in the Andes when you were six."

"So did I," Chuck muttered.

He was relieved when the limo pulled up.

"Come on," Blair said, pulling at his sleeve as she got in. He sighed an followed. He knew he could never tell Nate this. He didn't know why, but he trusted her in a way he couldn't eve trust his best friend.

"You don't have to tell me what happened," she told him, knowing that he felt as though she wanted him to tell.

"It makes sense," Chuck murmured. He sighed. He felt so tired. He leaned his head against her shoulder. This time, Blair did jump. She looked at his fluttering eyes. And for the first time, she let him lean on her. Let him touch her. He needed her and she was here for him.

"That's why he hates me," Chuck said. "His beloved wife died giving birth to me."

"Do _you_ think you killed her?" Blair asked.

"I probably did," Chuck replied. "I know he thinks I did."

"He told you that?"

"He told me after he found me filching his stash of scotch in his study," Chuck replied. "So I'm thinking yes."

"You have to know, Chuck," Blair said, "that its not your fault."

"He thinks it is."

"And my mother thinks that her marriage isn't falling apart. And that her daughter isn't falling apart."

"You know this is the perfect opportunity for you to... comfort me," Chuck smirked.

"You're so gross," she laughed. "You can't tell anyone."

"Likewise," he replied.

"Good."

Maybe it should have bothered how comfortable she was with Chuck leaning on her. But it didn't.


	35. New Haven Can Wait

**A/N**: This has another long quote, but I tried to edit it down a lot. The first ficlet is sort of similiar to another one I did, but I tried to make it with more variety.

**Summary**:

"She looks really good today, doesn't she?"

Of course she did. She looked even better when she was writhing beneath him on his leather interior, purring his name with a seductiveness that Nate couldn't even touch. But he wasn't about to say that, no matter how much he was tempted to.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. All quotes belong to Gossip Girl.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Maxim**_

_Rumor has it you've slept with more _Maxim_ covers than John Meyer._

_And better, I might add._

Blair had just got her throne back. She really, _really_ did not have time for this. Especially the part where she had to pretend to her minions that she wasn't so irrevocably in love with that Chuck Bass-tard. Especially the part were she was pretending that she wasn't being jealous. Because she totally wasn't.

Jerk.

"Wow, B," Penelope said mockingly. "Looks like the guy that was actually throwing down for you for all the world to see has moved on. With a model."

"You say that like I actually give a damn," Blair rolled her eyes, turning away from him. "And its not a model. Its a slut."

"'It?'" Hazel laughed.

"Yes. Sluts don't deserve proper pronouns," she said pointedly. "Some of you could keep that in mind."

"Well I didn't lose my virginity to the womanizer of the Upper East Side," Penelope retorted.

"You sure about that?" Blair asked skeptically. "Because I have conformation about a sophomore bedroom that proves otherwise."

"Jealous?"

"Jealous that you're another one of his forgettable lays?" Blair replied. "Of course. Be still my heart."

"And you're saying you're any different?"

"No," Blair said finally. "No. I know that I'm not any different. I need a drink."

Penelope just shook her head as she watched Blair walk to the bar. She shook her head just to see that Chuck Bass was staring right at her.

"Oh, yeah," he said as he approached her. "I remember that party. That was you?"

"Like you can tell the difference."

"Don't tell me that you're ligitimately concerned for your Queen B," Chuck smirked. He wasn't even looking at her. He was looking at the queen at the bar.

"I was just wondering what it was about you that made Blair lower all of her standards."

"Maybe she loves me," Chuck grinned.

"Please," Penelope rolled her eyes. "It wouldn't matter anyway. Not with that pair of silicon you've been toting around."

"And there's that concern again."

"I don't want Blair demeaning herself and having you follow her."

"Well that's just too bad," Chuck replied, "because I'm going to walk over there. And before you know it, she's going to take me back."

"Why are you telling me this?" Penelope asked.

"Because I can be all the more smug when she does take me back."

"She won't," Penelope replied. "Lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice."

"It wasn't just twice," Chuck grinned. "And you'll see. She still wants me. You know how I know? She couldn't take her eyes off me since I walked in with that... 'silicon I've been toting around' as you so elegantly put it. Jealousy is a powerful emotion."

"Again," Penelope said. "Why are you telling me?"

"I need to gloat to someone," Chuck said nonchalantly. "And I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm low on acquaintances at the moment. And there's only so much hetero that little Eric van der Woodsen can take. And again... you'll just see when she's by my side again."

"Chuck Bass doesn't do monogamy."

"And Blair Waldorf doesn't do Chuck Bass," Chuck smirked. "Apparently. But things changed. And she's the one to have changed them. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a queen to conquer."

Is and Hazel looked at each other in surprise.

"Who knew?" Hazel asked. "He's actually... genuine."

"And the only one who doesn't know it is Blair," Is agreed.

"Well I won't be the one to tell her," Penelope said. "No one wants to get into the middle of that."

Agreed.

Chuck made sure Maxim was by his side when he approached the unapproachable woman of his dreams (yeah, like he was ever going to admit that to anyone.) And he only called her Maxim because he literally could not remember her actual name. She was the anti-Blair (the only name that he could even conceive at the moment.) She was blond, leggy, and had practically ever part of her filled with botox and plastic surgery so that her age was undefinable. Like he was even paying attention. He just knew that Blair would immediately hate her and therein lay the fun.

"Is that the best you've got?"

Chuck's insides tightened at Blair's cool gaze. He and his "date" up leaned up against the bar. But looks could be deceiving. Blair's fingers were clutching the stem of the glass so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

"I just wanted to introduce you," Chuck said pleasantly. "I know how much a fan you are of _Maxim_."

Her eyes narrowed. "I think you've got me confused with yourself."

He watched as her eyes swept over the object of her jealousy.

"Well," she said critically. "Give it your best shot. Does she even possess the ability to speak?"

"I'm going to tell you the truth, Waldorf," Chuck replied. "I didn't get her for her ability to talk. I don't expect us to talk at all tonight, actually."

"How wonderful for you," Blair said with fake sweetness. "While you and I both know Serena is being accosted by some psycho, you're entertaining yourself with the brainless sect of the modeling industry. And I say 'modeling' lightly. If I were you, I would make sure she doesn't catch sight of something shiny. Those can sure be distracting."

Blair shivered at his look. It was the admiration in eyes that always got to her. He liked it when she got this way and she wished he didn't. She wished she could just ignore him but that wasn't who she was. So she grabbed her drink when he still hadn't retaliated and walked off. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she sure as hell really couldn't face anyone of society tonight.

"That was... _impressive_."

Damn. She shouldn't have overestimated his fondness for the stick with legs. It wasn't beneath him to just leave her in the middle of the room.

"To the naked eye, that might be construed as a demonstration of jealousy."

Blair finally turned to meet him. "Lucky for me, nothing about you is naked anymore."

"I can change that," he said suggestively, coming so close to her that she could smell his natural musk.

Blair took him by the collar and shoved him away. "Don't you have a 'guest' to tend to?"

"She can tend to herself for now."

"Well go help her with that," Blair snapped. "Don't try to fool me, Bass. You've slept with more _Maxim_ covers than John Meyer."

"Maybe," Chuck said, his breath caressing the side of her face. "But might I add, you were always better."

Blair really wished she hadn't taken that as a compliment.

**George Sand**

_What person, real or imagined, living or dead, would you most like to have dinner with? The rumor is if your answer impresses the Dean enough, it gets you on the short list for early admission. So says Blair._

_I should have given my spot to her._

_You got invited and she didn't? You're lucky to be alive._

_Well I won't be much longer if I don't find an answer fast._

_Steal Blair's. She has no use for it anymore._

_No, I can't. No matter how good it is._

_George Sand._

_I did not want to know that. And how do you even know that? Why does Blair want to go to dinner with some guy named George?_

_I hot girl named George. Dressed like a man. And apparently is the dean's favorite writer. And I know this because talking to Blair about how she's going to get into Yale gets her really--_

_Chuck, No. you just told me two things I never wanted to hear. And one is going to haunt me for the rest of my life._

Chuck stepped out of the doors of St. Jude's and stopped. There she was. Sitting in the courtyard as though she were just waiting for him. At least, his inflated ego would like to think so. Her dark stocking clad legs were crossed over one another as she read from one of the tables in the quad.

Though there was that small problem with Nathaniel Archibald standing right next to him. It wasn't like he couldn't throw her right across the table right now like he wanted to anyway. Not only were they keeping it on the DL, but apparently it was frowned upon to get naked in public. The cops said something about "indecenct exposure" that one time.

"Look, its Blair."

_Once again, States-the-Obvious has struck again._

"Hold on," Chuck said, holding Nate back as he was about to walk towards Blair who was oblivious to them, just reading her book. Or that was what she wanted them to think. Chuck knew better. Better than Nate ever would; ever could.

"What?" Nate asked.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"What?" Nate asked again, not looking away from Blair. "She looks really good today, doesn't she?"

Of course she did. She looked even better when she was writhing beneath him on his leather interior, purring his name with a seductiveness that Nate couldn't even touch. But he wasn't about to say that, no matter how much he was tempted to.

"What do you expect me to say?" Chuck asked. Nate finally looked back at him. "She's my friend."

"Do my ears betray me?" Nate laughed. "Is Chuck Bass actually looking at a girl for more than sex?"

_Woman._

But whatever.

"You didn't let me finish," Chuck smirked, aiming low. "She's my friend, but I would hit that in a second."

He liked how Nate's face dropped.

"So... yeah. I think she looks good today. I think she looks freaking fantastic."

"Dude," Nate said in shock. "She's my girlfriend."

Chuck raised his eyebrows at Nate.

"Fine," Nate replied. "But still."

"Nathaniel," Chuck sighed. "She's your ex-girlfriend. And she's hot. So what makes you think she's just waiting around for you? What makes you think some guy isn't taking the liberty that you aren't and actually _is_ hitting that?"

"No," Nate said. "She wouldn't... she just... she just wouldn't. She wants it to be special. She's still a virgin."

"Really?" Chuck asked skeptically. "What makes you so sure? Did she tell you that specifically?"

"Well..."

Chuck just shrugged and walked towards her. He sat next to her. She didn't make any movement that made it look like she noticed his presence. At least... to anyone else. Once again, Chuck knew better. He knew as soon as he took his first step towards her, her spine stiffened. She flicked the page of her book over. She definitely knew he was there.

"You brought a _friend_," she muttered snidely so that Nate, who had followed quickly in pursuit, couldn't hear. Chuck slung an arm casually across her rigid shoulders for Nate's benefit. But he could feel her relax underneath his touch, calming her. But she still didn't look up. She still ignored Nate.

"My apologies, lover," he muttered in her ear. "Can you blame him for being so attracted to you? He's not the only one."

Blair shot him a covert glance of annoyance but just returned to her reading.

"Hey, Blair," Nate said. She didn't look up. "What are you reading?" Blair sighed in agitation. Nate wasn't giving up.

"George Sand," Nate said, reading the author. "Is he any good?" Blair finally got to her feet, looking cruelly down at Nate.

"_She_ is great," she replied. "That why I'm reading her."

"Oh," Nate said awkwardly. Blair rolled her eyes.

"I'll see you later."

No matter what Nate would think, Chuck knew she could only be talking to him. He watched her walk away with appreciation.

"You think she's mad at me?" Nate asked.

Chuck sighed. "No, Nathaniel. I don't think that she's mad at you."

Shaking off Nate was easy. And he was an expert at cruising for a Waldorf. She always walked. Chuck didn't press this, but he liked thinking that it was because she liked having him pursue her in his limo. She pretended she didn't, but he knew her better than anyone.

"Get in."

"Was that a question or a demand?" Blair asked coolly, never breaking her stride.

"Consider it a suggestion."

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, glaring at him.

"Oh, come on," he said. "You can't possibly be mad at me."

"Try me," she sneered.

"I didn't ask him to come," Chuck told her.

"You didn't really break your back trying to get rid of him, either," she snapped.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. He knew he could always catch her off guard with that one. Especially when he meant it. He wasn't too fond of being sincere. But she seemed to just bring that out in him.

"Just get in, Waldorf."

She looked at him curiously. "No."

"No?" Chuck asked.

"Yes, Bass," she said, continuing her walk down the street. "No. Know the meaning of the word?"

"I've heard it once or twice," he replied. "I know you didn't mean it, though."

"Clever," Blair rolled her eyes.

"I would love to give you a ride," he said charmingly.

"Don't have time."

"For me to give you a ride home?" Chuck asked. "I would think that it would be faster than walking."

"There's only one reason you want me in that car," Blair replied, "and you and I both know that once I get in, you taking me home will be the last thing that we'll be doing."

"Well if you have other ideas..." Chuck smirked.

"I'm doing stuff for Yale today," Blair said. "I don't have time for you."

"I'm hurt."

"Please," Blair said. "You take up too much time as it is and you know it."

"It is one of my many talents."

"Ugh. Whatever."

"If you let me give you a ride, I promise I won't try anything."

Blair let out a breath of mirthless laughter. "Like I'm going to fall for that one again."

"Oh come on," Chuck said. "I hadn't had you in like three days, what else was I supposed to say?"

Blair sighed. "You can drive me home. But that's it."

"Fine," Chuck said with satisfaction, holding the door open for her. Blair got in cautiously, eying him carefully as she lay her book on the seat next to him. He looked at the back flap.

"George Sand," he said. "She's hot."

She snatched the book away from him.

"Excuse me," she snapped, hitting his shoulder hard with it.

"Relax," he said, massaging his shoulder.

"This isn't some joke," she snapped. "George Sand is my in to early admission."

"Meaning?"

"After your first interview, if the dean likes you enough he invites you to his house for a gathering. He asks you what person real or imagined, living or dead would you most like to have dinner with. If your answer impresses him enough then you get early admission. George Sand is his favorite writer."

"I see," Chuck said. "So you've got it all figured out."

"What is wrong with you?" Blair demanded. "This isn't just some game. This is my future."

She kept berating him with her book.

"Hey," Chuck said catching her dainty wrists in his hands. "Relax. Yale makes you feisty."

He wasn't about to embellish how it was probably going to make him break his promise about taking her straight home.

Blair groaned as she struggled against his hands.

"I hate you," Blair said when Chuck realized how close their faces were together. Apparently Blair realized it a second later because she quickly closed the distance between them.

"I guess I won't be taking you immediately home," Chuck muttered.

"Shut up," Blair said and crushed her lips against his once again. And again. And again.


	36. Chuck In Real Life

**A/N**: I'm actually not too proud of this chapter. The first fic is obviously because I needed Chair interaction even though it most likely didn't happen (more like definitely.) But I am trying to make these as realistic as possible. For the fic, I wrote this right after I watched the episode, so if some stuff doesn't make sense, they're responses to stuff in the episode.

**Summary**: Blair froze as she realized how their bodies were melding together. And he wasn't exactly making a secret of how aroused he was. She should have known this would happen. It was the truth that she hadn't thought past yelling at him. It was strange how much pleasure she got from getting angry with him. Maybe because she was soon realizing it was just foreplay for them. And how he loved it when she got angry with him.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes and awesomeness most likely go to Gossip Girl. I cannot claim such credit.

**

* * *

**

**House Call**

_I'm on my way out to a house call_

Blair glared after the bitch that had just ruined her life. She walked slowly back to her minions. She shoved the clipboard into Is's arms as they continued to reprimand Kelsey about her tights.

"60 seconds is up," Is said.

"I know," Blair replied wryly.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," Blair said. It was just a defense mechanism but then she saw him. "No," she said thoughtfully. "Everything is going to be fine."

He was just lounging against the wall. Alone. And it dawned on her. There was one way she could play this. One way she could hook him into it. She could of course tell him the truth... but that wasn't how they played. She couldn't tell him that she missed him so desperately sometimes that all she could feel was this pain twisting in her chest.

She needed him. She needed him to touch her again. And watching him inhale his joint unfortunately made her come to this realization. It was the dark things that she could never admit to anyone that attracted her to him. It was the way he smelled distinctly scotch late at night and the way his eyes darkened when they zeroed in on her... the way they were doing right now.

Blair realized too late that she was staring at him. He had that smug expression on his face that she always was itching to slap off... even if she found it vaguely attractive. He was looking at her in that way that made her aware that there was only one thing she could do now.

"Didn't I see you about five minutes ago?" he teased. "Miss me already?"

"Hardly," Blair rolled her eyes.

"Really?" he asked. "Because the way you were staring at me from across the yard could have fooled me."

"Don't flatter yourself," Blair said tightly.

He dropped his joint to the ground and ground it beneath his foot. He looked up at her with those eyes that he knew did things to her insides.

"Don't worry about it, Waldorf," he smirked, leaning her against the wall. "It was only a matter of time before you came crawling back."

"From where I'm standing," she said pointedly, "it doesn't seem to me like I'm the one who's doing the pursuing."

"Looks can be deceiving."

"Getting high before class?" Blair asked, ignoring his passes. "I'm sure that will definitely raise your grade point average."

"I'm not really worried about that," Chuck told her.

"Oh right," Blair said. "When Bart can buy you into any school."

"I'm going to inherit Bass Industries anyway, so..." He looked at her curiously. "And I'm positive you're not here talking to me about my future."

Blair smirked knowingly.

"I want to talk."

"I prefer to talk after," he responded seductively.

"Bass," she said sharply, ignoring his annoyingly alluring gaze.

"I'm listening," he rolled his eyes. She used to be able to take an innuendo. He was going to have to fix that later.

"Not now."

"Why?" he asked. "More disciplinary hearings to attend?"

"Just meet me at my house tonight," Blair said dryly. She turned but felt his strong hand grasp her wrist, pulling her back.

"It would be my pleasure."

And she knew exactly what was going through his mind when he said _pleasure_.

"Okay..." she replied. He wasn't letting go.

"But what's in it for me?" he asked.

"Excuse me?" Blair asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Why should I show up if I don't know what its for?"

Ugh. Bastard. She knew exactly where he was going with this.

"Unless..." he said suggestively.

"No, Chuck," she said coolly. His grip became tighter and he pulled her suddenly into his body. And the world fell away. She should care that a few passersby were looking at the close proximities their bodies were but she really didn't.

"Unless," he said again. "You would want to give me a... taste of what to expect."

"And why would I do that?" she asked. "What would ensure you to show up if I give up everything right now?"

"You're not giving up everything," he said suggestively.

She knew she wasn't going to win this one. It was obvious they both needed each other but neither were willing to relent. It had to be played in a game. And this was the only way to reel the Bass in.

Blair leaned in swiftly, catching Chuck by surprise. His hand want to the small of her back as though it had a mind of its own, remembering the familiar path. She felt a thrill of familiarity as their lips made the familiar trek across one anothers.

And then it was done.

"I'll see you at nine," Blair said sweetly and turned on her heel, away from his touch, leaving him in the dust.

"I can't wait," he said smugly after her.

**Mechanical Problems**

_Maybe you're not up for it. Memory serves, you've had some mechanical problems._

_I'll just imagine she's you._

"Are you sure you want to stay over?" Serena asked. "I mean, what happened at your party with Marcus..."

"Well Marcus isn't here anymore," Blair sighed. "Gladly. Now I can focus my energies on something that's actually worth it."

"Like Chuck?" Serena asked.

"What?" Blair asked hastily. "What are you talking about?"

"Everyone saw you walk out of your room with him," Serena told her. "Even Nate knew what you two were doing."

"Hilarious," Blair rolled her eyes.

"I'm really surprised," Serena continued. "I never would have thought you would have caved to him when he was just using you."

Beat.

"What?" Blair asked softly.

"Oh, B," Serena said regretfully. "I thought you knew..."

"Tell me," Blair said darkly.

"You know that he's had... problems."

"Problems?" Blair echoed.

"He's been bringing different girls in all hours of the night all week."

"How is that any different than usual?" Blair asked, quietly reigning in her jealousy simultaneously.

"Its different because they always leave... unsatisfied."

"Unsatisfied?"  
"Because he can't..." Serena said pointedly, restraining from using any gesture that would further Blair's understanding.

"Oh my god," Blair said in surprise. Then it dawned on her. "_Oh my god_."

Blair jumped to her feet and slammed the door of Serena's room open.

"Blair, don't," Serena said, trying to hold her back from barging right into Chuck's room.

"That _bastard_," Blair snapped, wrenching out of Serena's grasp. "I cannot believe this."

"Stop, Blair."

"He thinks he can _use_ me so he continue whoring himself out?" Blair asked angrily, storming through the house. "He's got another thing coming."

Serena knew that she couldn't stop Blair at this point in the game. Blair was a tornado of anger, aggression, and sexual frustration. Chuck was dead. Blair threw Chuck's door open to see him on top of some faceless blond. Good thing they were both mostly clothed.

"What the hell?" Chuck asked in the dark, shielding his eyes form the sharp light that penetrated the room. His eyes centered on the familiar silhouette that shadowed in the door. He quickly pushed himself off the girl he had picked up for the evening.

"What the hell is your problem?" Blair demanded.

"_My_ problem?" Chuck asked. He couldn't believe she was actually doing this to him. Torturing him. He leaped from the bed and approached her.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked darkly.

"Me?" Blair snapped. "You thought that I wouldn't find out? That you were trying to use me so you could continue your convoluted exploits?"

"Stop," he replied. He took her by the arm and dragged her out of the room, trapping her against the opposite wall.

"I assume that you've spoken to Serena," Chuck said quietly.

"Let go of me."

"No."

"How dare you?" Blair demanded. "I should have realized that you would use me just to _clear the pipes_."

"You're blaming this on me?" he asked. "You're the one who ran off to her charming lord after everything."

"Don't act innocent," Blair said. "You wanted to have sex with me just to leave me in the dust."

"Does it matter? Its not like you caved to your primal desires in the dark of the night. You didn't want me anyway."

"Then why the hell did I let you come on to me?" she asked.

"What?" he asked, smirking slowly.

"Nothing," she said quickly.

"Blair," he said curiously.

"Just because I booted my boyfriend back to Europe doesn't mean you can come onto me," Blair shouted, struggling against him. Chuck just looked at her with amusement.

"Is that so?" Chuck asked. "What was your plan, then? Barge in my room while I was with some broad and yell at me?"

"Yes."

"And after that?"

"After that?" Blair asked.

"What did you want to happen then?" he breathed.

"Nothing."

"Really?" Chuck asked. "And why is it that I don't believe you?"

"You're completely delusional?" Blair asked.

"Then what are you doing?"

Blair froze as she realized how their bodies were melding together. And he wasn't exactly making a secret of how aroused he was. She should have known this would happen. It was the truth that she hadn't thought past yelling at him. It was strange how much pleasure she got from getting angry with him. Maybe because she was soon realizing it was just foreplay for them. And how he loved it when she got angry with him.

"You're disgusting," she told him.

"I've heard that one before," he reminded her. "And no matter how many times you seem to say it, your body tells me otherwise."

She put her hands to his half clothed chest and shoved him away.

"See you around, Waldorf," he called after her.

"Not likely," she snapped as she rounded the corner. Chuck exhaled and returned to his room where the girl was still waiting. Just being close enough to smell Blair's sweet skin was enough to get him excited. He was trying his luck with this girl for at least an hour to no avail.

He knew his problem. It was the same problem Serena had already alluded him to. But now he knew how he could get laid. He couldn't get enough of Blair but he wasn't becoming celibate. He needed to get something until she was ready to get over her little aversion to him. And he was sure that would be over soon. It better.

He closed the door and it was suddenly better. He didn't see the platinum blond hair or hear the annoyingly shrill voice. She was just another body. A body he could pretend that was the one for him.

"What was that about?"

Chuck leaned back to the bed.

"Shut up," he said roughly. And she did. But he had to admit, Blair purred his own name in his ear a lot better than just some slut.

**Dress**

_B, you look gorgeous. Where did you get that dress?_

_Oh, this? Just... Chuck._

_When did Chuck give you a dress?_

_When we were going to Europe._

Chuck walked out of Henri Bendel's with Nate. He had to say, he was relieved to have his best friend back. Those months were the loneliest he had ever felt. And it was his fault. He was aware of this. Even if he had betrayed Nate, he still wouldn't have been completely lonely. If he hadn't snubbed her than he wouldn't have been alone. And that had been comforting. The entire time they were together, that's what he told himself. She made him feel something in the void of his black and shriveled heart. She made it swell and beat for her... Among other appendeges.

He ruined everything. He always had to sabotage himself. Especially when he didn't want to be the last resort. So he hurt the one person that meant the most to him, simultaneously shattering his one genuine friendship in the process.

Now it seemed like everything had worked itself out. And he was really pretending that it wasn't awkward that they were exiting the store for a girl that used to belong to Nathaniel but would now forever and always belong to Chuck.

"Well that was the longest two hours of my life," Nate commented as they entered Chuck's penthouse that he now shared with his expanded family.

"One must make sacrifices, Nathaniel," Chuck said, collapsing on his bed. "You didn't have to come."

"I wanted to."

Chuck wondered if this conversation could get any more awkward.

"We don't have to talk about her," Chuck said finally. They were going to have to address this sooner or later.

"We can," Nate said. "You know I don't mind. That you two are together now."

"Good," Chuck replied. "Because I can't let her go. I'm taking her to Tuscany."

That didn't flow as well as he had hoped.

"Wow," Nate said in surprise. "That's..."

"If I hear the word 'romantic' again, I'm not really sure if either of us will survive it," Chuck said warningly. Nate laughed.

"Right. You don't exactly do that, do you? Except..." Nate looked to the bed.

"Well the last amount I spent on her was 35,000 dollars so..."

"What did you get her?" Nate asked in shock.

"A necklace," Chuck said.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted her," Chuck replied simply. "And she deserved it. The same rules apply for now. She's more prone to accepting if I get her something pretty."

"That I can imagine," Nate said. "I'm glad you're happy, man."

"It is a strange experience," Chuck replied. "But I'm getting used to it."

"Yeah, I'm sure the sex is helping with that."

"Actually..." Chuck said distantly.

"No," Nate said. "I mean, since the wedding, you've..."

"Not with anyone," Chuck replied. "I guess I'm being..."

"Romantic," Nate said.

"Blair's words, not mine," Chuck said. "I don't want to mess it up this time. Like I'm so apt to do."

"So you're giving her a present instead," Nate replied.

"A present?" came a voice from the doorway. Chuck turned swiftly to see her leaning in the door jamb.

"I got your text."

"I guess I'll get lost, then," Nate replied. Blair sidestepped the door, allowing Nate to escape quickly.

"You got me a present?" she asked fondly. He picked up the garment from the bed and held it out for her.

"I promise you'll like it," he said as she zipped it open. "I've always been partial to red."

"And its always about what you want, isn't it?" Blair teased. She pulled it out and stared at it. "Its..."

"Try it on," Chuck said before he could hear her thanks. Blair narrowed her eyes at him. She didn't like being commanded to do things but Chuck made it look good on him.

"Fine," she said lightly and went to the bathroom. Chuck couldn't help but notice how she barely shut the door. He was sure she did this on purpose. Minx.

He knew he was all about taking things slow at the moment, but when Blair Waldorf is getting dressed with a partially open door, what can a man do but look?

He had to say, he really liked her in lingerie. He quickly backed from the door as she emerged.

"So?" she asked. "What do you think?"

"Ravishing."

What happened next, he was not prepared for. Blair was walking cautiously towards him and he knew he was in trouble. It was that sultry and seductive walk that he was sure he was the only one who ever had such privileged information. She made quick with the zipper and the dress was suddenly at her feet.

"How about now?"

His throat constricted. He knew what she was doing and it just wasn't fair. She was using his weaknesses against him. Then again, if she was holding sex out on him, he would have done the same thing. It wasn't really his fault, anyway. He was just trying to be better for her or whatever and she was making it extremely difficult.

"Even better," he said with soft appreciation. He was a man anyway. And no mortal man could ever resist the ethereal beauty that was Blair Waldorf.

"You sure?" she asked. He bit back a smirk. She was so close her body heat radiating off of her was entirely to difficult to ignore. "Because recently... you haven't seemed to enjoy it as much."

"I am quickly changing my mind," he said roughly. He realized he was using that voice he couldn't help but use when he was about to take her. He hated how she was so powerful against him. No woman could ever hold control over him. Except one.

"How quickly?" she breathed onto his lips.

"Instantaneous."

Then he had roughly grabbed her by the hips and their tongues were doing that erotic and piquant dance that Chuck wished he could drown in.

Nate wished he hadn't forgotten his phone in the room.

He cursed himself as he saw his best friend and his ex together in that room he never should have returned to. He should have known that Chuck powerfully saying he would not pressure her with sex was just a phase. He was Chuck Bass after all. And she... she was something. He supposed he wouldn't have refused her either if she was scantily clad in that violent red lingerie laced with black either.

Except he did. He remembered. He told her that he cheated on her instead. But he didn't think of her that way anymore, anyway. Because maybe, she never really belonged to him at all.

Chuck was slowly easing her onto the bed, not noticing how his door had opened and his weakness was being watched by the one person who he would always feel threatened by. Nate closed the door, deciding that he could just get his phone another time. He couldn't bear to watch the two of them who were so obviously succumbing to the all encompassing love that they never thought what catch a hold of them.


	37. Pret a Por J

**A/N**: The first section might be a little familiar from another recent one I dod, but it takes a different path so I hope its managable. The second one is a companion to another section I did for the last season. This is Blair's POV when it was Chuck's before. In response to some reviews I had about how unrealistic some of the situations are, my main concern is that Blair and Chuck's character are realistic, and not so much about the situations they find themselves in. This is a fanfiction, so it is fun when not everything would happen in reality or in the show.

**Summary**:

"I thought you weren't talking to me."

"Shh," he said quietly as his hot breath hit her bare neck. She felt his stealthy hands creep slowly up her body. His nimble fingers touched the clasp of he necklace on the back of her neck. The necklace that she decided to play against him because he happened to be the one who bought it for her.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. All quotes and awesomeness belongs to Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Kryptonite**

_I didn't even get a chance to show him my necklace tangled up in my hair. The nape of the neck is Chuck's kryptonite._

Blair didn't like how this was going. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was supposed to be a mindless fling as she got over Nate (which consequentially took about two hours in the back of a limo-- Nate who?) And now she was getting needy for the one thing that she shouldn't. She was getting needy and he was ignoring her purposely and she didn't like it.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Serena's death would be slow and painful.

"Serena," Blair said darkly, "just don't."

"What?" Serena asked. "Its a simple question."

"A simple question that will cause me to rip out those extensions that you pass as hair momentarily."

"You said you didn't..."

"I know what I said," Blair snapped. "That Chuck Bass-tard is proving to be more trouble than he's worth."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Blair."

"No," Blair said again. She was not talking to her best friend about this. That crossed a line. "Maybe if you get over that little fondness for Brooklyn cases, I will talk to you on account you won't be so judgmental. In the meantime..."

Blair rose from her perch on the couch and moved swiftly and carefully, making sure that she ignored him. Two could play that game. See how he liked it. She shut herself alone in the dark room. Already, she could feel it in motion. His predatory slink alerted her to his presence. She eyed his outline in the mirror. His shadow encompassed her as he stood stoically behind her.

"I thought you weren't talking to me."

"Shh," he said quietly as his hot breath hit her bare neck. She felt his stealthy hands creep slowly up her body. His nimble fingers touched the clasp of he necklace on the back of her neck. The necklace that she decided to play against him because he happened to be the one who bought it for her.

"Nice necklace."

She could feel the smirk even from behind her. She felt his hand travel up her neck. There was a slight tugging at the nape of her neck and she realized that a lock of her hair was entrapped by the clasp.

"You're caught."

She didn't know if he was referring to the necklace or not.

"Let me help you with that."

_I'll bet you will._

"You're not supposed to be talking to me," she reminded him as he caressed the back of her neck (not really doing much of helping her anyway.) "That was your rule, remember?"

"Nate's here," he replied. "Unless you plan on outing the both of us in front of all our friends."

"Then what are you doing here?" she asked a little more harshly than she intended. But instead of getting offended, she felt him chuckle from his close proximity.

"I simply could not resist."

"What?" she asked. Her breath suddenly hitched as she felt his teeth gently grazing the flesh of the back of her neck, marking her as his.

"Its not fair, you know," he breathed into her skin. "Showcasing that beautiful neck of yours around. Using it against me."

"That was not my intention," she answered honestly, but relieved that she still had an effect on him. Maybe he wouldn't leave anyway. Not that she cared.

"I'll bet it wasn't."

There was that damned smirk again.

"Blair."

"Yes?"

She felt his strong hands clasp around her elbows, not allowing her to escape.

"Kiss me."

Blair felt herself freeze up. He still did that to her and it was infuriating. She turned slowly in his arms. Her own hands traveled up the length of his lean body feeling for his face. She took her time in feeling the familiar structure of his elongated and exotic cheekbones. His hands covered hers and dragged them to the back of his neck.

Then her heart stopped and they were kissing again. They always seemed to find each other in these dark bedrooms at parties. His hand went to the small of her back, drawing her in so there was no space in between them.

"So you haven't tired of me yet."

"What would give you that impression?"

"Chuck," she said softly. His grip on her tightened. She knew that he liked it when she whispered his name to him like that. "You gave me that impression on purpose."

"I did no such thing."

"You're such a jerk," she smiled into the darkness.

"You know this usually works a lot better when you don't talk."

Blair scowled. Not that he could see. But he knew.

"This usually works a lot better when you're not such a scheming bastard."

"Touche."

**Love**

_Do you love him? Wow. Someone loves Chuck Bass._

_I don't know. I just... I don't understand how it got to this place._

Blair Waldorf never meant to fall in love with Chuck Bass. That is an understatement. She knew what he was. It wasn't like a one night stand. They were friends. And as a friend, he was amicably helping her get over one Nathaniel Archibald. At least, that's what she tells herself when he's looking at her in that way of his in the back of the limo. Maybe they were feelings that were always there. Or maybe its just raging hormones.

Then things get complicated. She is constantly battling these feelings that she's not supposed to have with guilt over her lack of guilt of her not mourning the loss of her relationship. Sure, she mourned it for a whole 20 minutes and that small period of time at her birthday party. But then it just... dissipated. She didn't know where it went. But she was finding more and more that she really didn't care. That confused her even more.

It doesn't seem likely he would mourn the loss of her anyway. The way he was acting near the end of it... Come to think of it, she really couldn't remember a time when things weren't cold and distant. The only joy she got anymore after her best friend had abandoned her was the social destruction that her new best friend helped her with. That's what she told herself. He was just a friend helping her out. Again, that excuse seemed to dwindle.

Everything seems to be back to normal when Serena comes back. That's the thing about the Upper East Side. Its the facade that no one really seems to remember that is always there. She sees Nate and Chuck standing outside of St. Jude's. They're smiling and laughing with one another. (Or in someone's case, smirking.) She realizes that she doesn't really want to be hated. She pretends that all of that doesn't bother her as queen, but Nate was so calm and placid, it would really bother her. It wouldn't destroy her, it would just bother her. The real loss would be with that smirking devil right next to him. That's the thing she can't handle. She doesn't like the notion of losing him and she especially doesn't like the notion that she doesn't like the notion of losing him. That just isn't supposed to happen.

His eyes lock with hers and she knows she's gone for good. When did it start being this way and stop being another? When did the games and the fun turn into something of substance? And when the hell did she start feeling for him? Again, she thinks maybe feelings were always there, in the back of her mind. But again, she pushes that thought away. She doesn't like thinking about it and she won't think about it. But it occurs to her that it really would kill her to lose him.

That's when it hits her. And it shouldn't. She ignores it, but it seems to always be there. The way his lips tug in the corner just for her. That smoldering way he looks at her from across the room. And how her heart seems to skip so erratically when he's around that she is sure she's having heart failure.

She loves him and it would absolutely destroy her to see that his loyalty for Nate was actually stronger than whatever she felt for him and the delusions that maybe he wanted her that way too, to be without her, to see him walk away forever.

She's yelling at him now. Its the one constant in what they have. She wishes she could call it a relationship but she knows that Chuck Bass really isn't the type. Yelling at him gives her a sense of control and she knows he likes it too. Especially when Nate isn't messing everything up for them.

He's perfect. Perfect for her and it makes her wonder what she ever thought of Nate. Sure, he was charming and pretty and cordial. And Chuck Bass was disgusting and crude and evil. But he was pretty suave himself. And he was so painfully beautiful. And he was an Upper East Sider. He had the manners and the protocol. He wasn't dense or completely detached (most of the time... at least not on the inside.) He felt passion and he knew fire. He was everything. He was her. And he understood her in a way no one could. The way that Serena couldn't even. He's manipulative, conniving, deceptive, malicious, cruel, cutting, intelligent, vain and beautiful. Yes. He's definitely her.

He's smooth and he's witty and she never wants anyone else. And that scares her more than anything. But with his predatory walk and natural musk, she simply cannot resist. He scares her more than anything and that excites her. Especially when it shouldn't.

He's smirking at her and he shouldn't be. She's mad, damnit. He was doing that smug thing that infuriated her more than anything. But it was also sort of hot. So she yells at him. That's the point when she realizes that he likes it. He grabs her and kisses her furiously. She bites back the strong scent of alcohol lacing his breath and tongue. She hates how it turns her on.

She knows he likes doing this when she's mad at him. It gives him the sense of control that he needs because he's just as much as a control freak as she is. And she likes it even though she shouldn't. She likes it when he gets that way. No... she sort of loves it.

This could pose a problem.

**Death**

_I was the one who asked you to say it first._

_At the White Party? When you were on your way out with the Count? Did you really think I was going to say it then?_

_Yes. And when you didn't, I wanted to die._

She could feel him behind her. She always could. They were always like that. Scenes at parties and brunches where she could just feel him behind her. They would share a smirk. But this was not one of those times. She knew it was coming. She could feel it. Not just him, but the all encompassing doom that followed him in a trail. She wanted to stop time as she turned to face him. She put on her facade, but the way he was looking at her, she just wished that the seconds would slow so she could stay here forever. So she could look into his beauty and not be scarred by his words that were to come... or lack of words.

He was saying all those pretty words that made her heart sing. He was saying exactly what she wanted to hear and exactly what she hoped he was feeling. But it wasn't enough. In a way, he was innocent in the way that he couldn't understand what it was that she wanted from him. But it just hurt her all the more.

He stumbled clumsily over what she knew was already true for her. She looked at him helplessly as he stuttered to get it out. And there was just nothing. She wished she had never met him. She wished that she never had her partner in crime, that cruel humor that only she could understand. She wished she never felt the heat of her love for him that was so desperate and painful that it was choking her. She had to swallow down her feelings but she felt asphyxiated by the air he wouldn't give her. The words he refused to give up.

She wished that she had never felt the passion and the fire of his hands scorching trails across her body. She wished she had never felt the euphoric and erotic love that she wished he would just tell her. She wished she never dug trails of blood in his back, clutching his head close to hers and husking his name in his ear because of what he was doing to her. What she never thought that she was missing. Something she didn't even know existed. She wished he had never cast his devilish spell on her and commanded her to love him. And now he couldn't even say it.

She wished she had never spasmed out of control from the depths and heights he took her. And now he was taking it all away.

She wished she had never found her other half because no one could cause you so much hurt as the one person who understood you better than anyone. No one knew her weaknesses and soft points. And the hardest thing to understand was that he wasn't even trying to hurt her. It was so much better when he was calling her a used whore and leaving her for good. She could understand that. She could understand that she wasn't the only one who had gotten hurt then. But now it was different. She wanted him so much and he just wasn't delivering. And nothing hurt more than that.

She knew if she stood here any longer she would sure crumble in agony. She was sure that she would merely just cease to exist because this couldn't be happening. It pierced her in places it shouldn't. She shouldn't love him. But she just did. And that was the one thing that she could never change.

She felt his strong hand that always touched her in the tenderest of ways when no one was watching that was clasped securely around her wrist. She couldn't stand his warmth, knowing that it would never truly be hers. He was just taunting her and it wasn't fair. Staying any longer would prove detrimental to her. She wasn't sure if he could cause her any more pain. And she didn't want to find out. She watched him continue to stumble across the easy three syllables that had never caused anyone so much trouble as it caused Chuck Bass.

Even as he continued to get it out, she couldn't wait. She just couldn't wait. He let her go. She pulled away gently and his grasp slid easily off her wrist. Part of her wished that he held tighter like he used to. He used to suffocate her with his need and vulnerability that she was the only one he graced with.

This time, he just let her go. She was right. He could hurt her more. And she said the things that would make him back off. She knew how to work him as easily as he could work her.

She was suffocating again. She could feel the tears rising in her throat that she refused to let him see. She just couldn't. No one could make her cry like he could. The red sports car pulled up. The other thing that she was talented at was covering her feelings so that no one would know. The only one who could was behind her and he couldn't tell that it was killing her to leave him behind. To face a life of sterility and dryness, never feeling the fire that she knew she would forever live for. Live for the only person who could ever ignite such passions in her.

Even in the car, she felt herself fading. She couldn't feel her heart beating. She was sure he had tore it from her chest, keeping it as a trophy of what he had finally conquered. But the look he gave the ground that she caught in the review mirror told her otherwise. She pushed that voice away to the deep recessions where she kept her insecurities. Now it was just another number on the list.

Her legs were shaking when she made it to the house, leaving the lord. She couldn't look at his stupid perfect face. It didn't have those sweeping cheekbones and smug smirk. She wanted to slap it away from her.

Looking in the mirror of the bathroom, she was reminded of all the reasons that made sense. Of course he couldn't love her. She wasn't anything. Nothing special. What about her could have possibly captivated his attention for this long, anyway? The silences to her silent questions were what made her dissolve.

She let herself crumble to the floor as her body wracked with sobs. She muffled her screams into the carpet. No one was home. No one could hear her scream. No one ever would.

She felt like she was dying. That was it. Plain and simple. She was dying from an ailment there was no anecdote could cure. Her love for Chuck Bass was killing her. She never asked for this, but she had it and she knew that she could never give it up. It was her heroine and she was hopelessly addicted to the devil whom no one should love.

Physical torture would have been better than this. Flaying her own skin off would be preferable to something she couldn't take back. She wanted to die. She wanted to stay forever curled on the cold tiled bathroom floor and burrow beneath the soil six feet under where nothing could touch her again.

Her hands were shaking. Her body was chilled. Her legs could barely hold her weight. She was better off dead. Her reflection spat ugly truths to her. It made sense. There was no one for her. She rose to her knees, defeated. A relapse wasn't in the equation. Then again, neither was falling for a heartless bastard.

She shoved her finger savagely down her throat. It was hard at first. Her throat rasped and she coughed as her saliva gathered. Even when nothing came up anymore, all she could think of was how repugnant and how she was slowly wasting away.

She commanded herself to get up. When she looked back in the mirror, she was finally numb. But she was dead inside. And nothing could ignite her again.


	38. There Might Be Blood

**A/N**: This chapter have one of my favorite things of just Chuck and Blair talking about things (and foreshadowing the future.)

**Summary**: That's when her heart dropped into her stomach. This... man, with his easy smirk and heady scent was probably the love of her life. And that scared her more than anything. It was the truth that scared her.

**Disclaimer**: All quotes and characters belong to the Gossip Girl universe. SL's belong to me.

**

* * *

**

**Sacred**

_Limos and virgins. Your specialty._

_Just so you know, while there are few things I consider sacred, the back of the limo is one of them._

Chuck drummed his fingers against the leather interior. It was literally impossible for him to imagine that days ago, he had conquered something that had been deemed impossible by experts of the Upper East Side. He had taken something that was never meant for him and he liked it. More than he should have. He took a sort of guilty pleasure in hearing her groan and purr into his neck. And telling her about it later.

Thanksgiving had come and gone and he was really trying. He didn't know what was up with her. After the last morning after, the day before her birthday, Chuck wasn't really prepared to try out this one. After that night in Kati's brother's bedroom (the hottest thing he had done in someone else's house in someone else's bed) he hadn't heard from her. He never called or texted, hoping that he could use his usual magnetism against her. Usually when he ignored other conquests, they just came running. But that was the irony. Those were the times he didn't want them to come.

Blair wasn't like the rest of them. And she definitely wasn't a conquest. Conquests don't weed their way into your mind commanding your attention and thinking about them nonstop. It was infuriating. What was more infuriating was that she wasn't coming to him. Even when he was doing his best to ignore her. If "ignoring" constituted as "driving by her penthouse 12 times a day and countless times at night."

He even went so far as doing the unthinkable. He wanted to erase her from his psyche. But bringing in that freshman into his limo wasn't as successful as much as he thought it would be. He tried. He really did. But it just wasn't the same. Deflowering one of your best friends was really a mood killer. He could no longer bring girls in his limo. And when he did, he just couldn't do it. And that was it.

It dawned on him when he saw her walking sans Serena. He knew from Gossip Girl that they were out clubbing. He knew he couldn't accomplish his usual "stalkerish" (her words, not his) tendencies for fear of overreacting from some urban hipster hitting relentlessly on her now that she was single. But as far as he was concerned, she wasn't single at all. Her sweet smell was still embedded in his limo and to him, that meant that he had ownership. Okay. maybe that did sound a little stalkerish and possessive, but she did something to him and he decided that he was just going to give in to it.

It was too cold for her to be wearing that dress. He didn't like it. He didn't like that she was showing off what she had only shown him. Maybe she had worn things like that in the past, but if she was trying to get raped or something, she would accomplish her goal. Luckily for her, he was coming to her rescue. Shocking, wasn't it?

He could tell when he pulled up that she knew it was him. It was the way that her posture stiffened, she walked a little taller, strutted a little more... and completely ignored him. What a tease.

"I've come to a decision," he announced as the limo crawled beside her walk.

"Is that so?" she asked, still refusing to look even in his general direction.

"I'm done playing hard to get," he grinned playfully.

"That was you playing hard to get?" she asked dryly. He smirked. She was playing their game and he liked it. "If I remember correctly, that was you mauling me in some stranger's bedroom."

"And if I remember correctly," Chuck parried, "you kissed _me_ first. Again. I was just innocently giving you a present. It was your birthday if you recall."

"Actually, Bass," Blair clarified, "you kissed me first."

"Didn't count," he said immediately. "It was a shoulder kiss. You're the one who pulled me in."

"And I am instantly regretting it," she said coolly. "And don't for one minute pretend that you didn't completely plan that line when you gave me that necklace."

"I will admit," Chuck said, "buying that for you did put me into character. That doesn't mean that everything I said that night wasn't true. You remember. Right in the middle--"

"I get it," she said sharply.

"I'm glad," Chuck said. "Because you know what today is."

"A Saturday," she replied.

"True," he replied. "Its also our one week anniversary."

"What?" she exclaimed, whirling to finally look into his eyes. He liked catching her off guard. "We're not even a couple."

"So says you," Chuck replied. "But I distinctly remember exactly a week ago tonight, you ever so willingly gave yourself to me for the first time."

"Please," Blair muttered under her breath, continuing her walk down Park.

"Don't even think about denying it," Chuck said. "All I said was that you were amazing up there."

"And that wasn't a line?"

"Did it work?"

She was silent.

"Oh, I remember," Chuck replied snarkily. "That was when you threw yourself at me."

"Don't exaggerate," Blair said snidely.

"I wasn't," Chuck said. "Then I asked if you were sure and then you pulled yourself into my lap. I remember. So does the limo."

"That's in the past."

"Really?" he asked in surprise. "So what was that whole other thing the following night with you doing that thing with your--"

"What do you want from me?" Blair asked, stopping again in exasperation. Chuck suppressed a grin. He was wearing her down. He usually didn't do this chase thing. It was a one night thing or it was nothing. But Blair was always above the learning curve. And she was always above him. Smirk.

"I want you to get in," Chuck said plainly. "I want you to admit that you want me as much as I want you. And I want you all over me."

"And what's in it for me?" Blair asked steadily.

"I thought I just told you," Chuck smirked.

She paused. "Fine. Open the door."

He slid over as she entered the car, eying him carefully. They just stared at each other for a while. Arthur knew the drill. They would be driving around for a while.

"I haven't been with anyone since you," Chuck breathed headily into her ear. He watched the goose bumps rise on her neck. He licked them.

"Why?" she asked timidly.

"Why not?" he asked. He smoothly laid his hand on her thigh. And her body seemed to melt into his. He nuzzled behind her ear and he felt her exhale shakily. She was finally relaxing. He would make her relax more.

"I want you, Waldorf."

"Why?" she asked again.

"I want you like I've never wanted anyone else," he confided quietly, his breath still at her ear. "No one else has been on these seats but you."

"Why?"

"You make me want things I've never wanted before."

"That seems surprising," she replied.

"And what about you?"

"I'm not supposed to want you."

"Do you?"

"I'm here," Blair said, "aren't I?"

"We'll see."

"I can't do this if you're just going to screw me over," Blair said honestly.

"I thought that was the point," he smirked. He knew it was the wrong answer when she pulled away slightly. "Maybe I want just you."

Chuck let his hand creep up her thigh. She was pressing herself back into the seat and Chuck knew that he was almost home.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Blair said vulnerably.

"Neither do I."

Blair looked at him and knew he wasn't talking about sex. Neither was she. He kissed her. She let him. That's when he knew limos were their thing. And letting someone else in would be criminal. So would not shuddering against her ethereal touch. So he did that. And more.

**First Time**

_You still don't get it. Having sex for the first time shouldn't be part of a competition to beat Muffy the lacrosse-titute. It should be with someone you love._

_Was your first time with someone you loved?_

_...Yes. It was._

Blair always had a convoluted sense of love. It was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to be with a prince charming who you would marry one day when you would enter Yale with his shining shield and white horse. She never really gave up on the whole fairytale ending. Until _he_ ended it for her.

She didn't realize that maybe she wasn't in love at all. Maybe she wasn't even in like. It was the idea that she was in love with. She needed someone to live up to the expectations. But her expectations were so wild that it never really came true.

She didn't realize that love could be so entirely different. Love was someone who understood you for you and made you feel things you had never felt before, delving into the dark humor of her heart and finding a place that only they could reach. Even so, she wasn't supposed to fall in love with the Devil of the Upper East Side, either.

As soon as Blair re-evaluated her entire take on love, she really wished she hadn't. She thought a lot lately. She never really thought that sex would lead to such proclamations on life. Laying there in the tangled sheets with his easy breathing beside her, she just found that these thoughts came naturally.

That's when her heart dropped into her stomach. This... man, with his easy smirk and heady scent was probably the love of her life. And that scared her more than anything. It was the truth that scared her.

Maybe she was in love with him her entire life. It made sense. Love was based on trust and ironically, there was no one that Blair trusted more than Chuck Bass. She trusted him with her most guarded secrets. She trusted him not to mock her at her silent proclamations. She even trusted that he would take care of her.

In those wild moments where everything was awry, her entire life was spinning out of control, there he was. He would put on that confident smirk.

"I'll take care of it."

And that was it.

She trusted him when Nate's true feelings, or lack thereof, came out. She trusted that he wouldn't push her and she trusted that he would do what he had to make her feel better.

Chuck Bass always comes through.

Ultimately, Blair knew what made her fall for him in that one instant. It was that look. He was just staring at her and the whole world fell away. It was like he had control over her and then he said it.

"You were... amazing up there."

She fell.

And she never came back up.

No one had ever said anything like that to her in her life. Nate was always sweet or said what he knew that she wanted him to say, but Chuck was something different. There was raw, pent up desire in his eyes and that was what she was realizing that she truly needed. She didn't need some prince charming. She needed someone who understood her so clearly, that he knew what she needed before even she did.

What was better were the words that he uttered later.

"You sure?"

Blair knew for a fact that he had never uttered those words to another woman. And never would. He cared about her and that's what she needed. He just... cared. He didn't judge her for who she was or wish she was more perfect. He accepted her for the bitch she was. And she realized that she really didn't care that he was such a bastard.

His body seemed to anticipate what she wanted on every level in ways that she couldn't even understand. She let him touch what no man had ever dared because she knew. It wasn't present in her mind, but on some subconscious level, she just knew. She knew that she loved him.

**Mother**

_I wrote the book on distracted, self entered mothers. My mom has never met a single one of my teachers. She regularly forgets my birthday and she only comments on my appearance when she has something to criticize._

Chuck smirked as he caught sight of her. He knew it wasn't healthy. Something was seriously wrong with him. She was just a girl. A girl who happened to be dating his best friend (not that Nate currently was in a caring mood.) Chuck knew he was enjoying her company more than he should. She was a conniving little bitch but ever since Serena had left, so did his own best friend. And there she was. Alone and so was he. And they just... clicked. He knew it wasn't right. He knew it was only a matter of time before they got mad drunk one night and he just took her. Self control was not one of his strong suits and he could not deny it. Blair Waldorf was hot. Even if her boyfriend couldn't see it.

He sat next to her at the table. He knew tonight was different than any of the others. She was sitting there, subdued. She didn't turn to meet his smirk like she usually did nowadays. She sat there, he look far off. Chuck didn't like being ignored. He didn't do that well either.

"Blair," Eleanor said as she approached. Immediately, Blair straightened her stance and looked at attention. Chuck knew what that was like. His father wasn't even here. He was still in Tokyo, closing a deal.

"Is that really what you're wearing?"

Chuck watched as Blair's face fell.

"Its yours," she said. "I thought you would have wanted me to wear one of your designs to your own event."

"Not when it fits like _that_," Eleanor replied sharply. "I don't have time for this."

Eleanor stocked off.

"So," Chuck said thoughtfully. Her mask was already in place. Her face had hardened and she was glaring off at nothing in particular in the distance.

"What?" Blair snapped. "What could you possibly say to make this any worse?"

"I was going to suggest," Chuck drawled, "that we get out of here and get drunk."

Blair paused. "Fine."

Chuck grinned. He could probably get her to do anything.

"So where's dear Nathaniel?" Chuck asked after they had reached the roof. He passed her his flask. He watched in fascination as she knocked it back with practiced ease. No one saw the Blair Waldorf that he saw.

"Do you enjoy torturing me?" she asked dryly, passing it back to him. Chuck savored the taste on the rim as he knocked it back. This would probably be the only way he would ever swap saliva with the queen. It was an elixir.

"Honestly?" he asked.

"Why not."

"I find no other pastime enjoyable," he said cheekily.

"Even your systematic seduction of every female on the Eastern Seaboard?" Blair parried.

"All except you," he replied. "You're high class."

"Apparently not high enough," she muttered.

"Please," Chuck scoffed. "Don't start the mantra of the sunshine in human form that is Serena Cecelia van der Woodsen."

"Why not?" Blair asked. "Everyone else does."

"I don't."

"Don't do that," Blair said. "Don't pretend like you're not like any other male in existence. You'd sleep with her in a second."

"Of course I would," Chuck deadpanned. "I'm not saying I wouldn't. But that's all I'd do. When you're inside, all girls are the same."

"I never thought you could get more vulgar," Blair said in wonderment. "Once again, I prove to be wrong. What a surprise."

"Its the truth," Chuck shrugged. "That's all it is. Its the rare girl that captures my attention for more than the two minutes of orgasm that will stick around."

"The great Chuck Bass won't fall in love?" Blair asked curiously. She always wondered.

"Doubtful," he replied. "I doubt there is a someone as evil, manipulative, and disgusting as I am."

"The first step is admitting you have a problem," Blair sighed. "You really believe in that? Soul mates?"

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"And you haven't?"

"Oh, right," Chuck rolled his eyes. "How could I forget you and perfect Nathaniel?"

"That wasn't what I was talking about," Blair said timidly. "It was just a question."

"Its a nice concept," Chuck shrugged. "One perfect person out there for everyone. It doesn't seem likely, though. At least not for me. Its paired along with archaic fairy tales."

"Archaic?"

"Sure. Men are just supposed to sweep women off their feet. Courting them with flowers and expecting dowries."

"I guess the Chuck Bass's notion of romance just involves manipulation and two minutes of orgasm in a dark hotel."

"Its a good notion," he grinned. "But I can guarantee you that there is no one who is my match."

"You are just that amazing," Blair sneered.

"Now you're catching on," he smirked.

"Sometimes what you're really looking for is right in front of you," Blair said distantly. He knew what she was getting at. What she wanted the most was right in her reach, but always too far to grasp. Instead, however, he went a different route. One he had never considered before.

"Like what?" he teased. "You?"

"Maybe," Blair said back. "I'll tell you that you won't find someone to parry with as good as me."

"Maybe we should try it out," Chuck said suggestively.

"And maybe I'd castrate you," she said sweetly.

"I would expect nothing else, Waldorf."

"Do you think Nate will ever really see me?" Blair asked after a time.

"Don't," Chuck sighed in defeat. He was always put in this position.

"What?"

"Don't put me in the middle like that," he said. "Its not fair."

"He'll always see her," Blair said. "Won't he?"

"If you want someone who actually sees you, go find him," Chuck said. "What are you getting out of it by staying with him?"

"I love him," Blair said steadily.

"Oh right," Chuck said. "Your love for the Vanderbilt diamond."

"That's not it," Blair said. "Its just..."

"Force of habit?"

"Familiar," Blair finished. "And what are you getting out of it by breaking us apart?"

"My sanity," Chuck said immediately. "I can't see my boy continually fail to get laid. Its just sad."

"That's his problem, not mine," Blair said softly. "He's the one who doesn't want to sleep with me."

"No," Chuck said in disbelief.

"Why?" Blair asked. "What did he say to you?"

"Nothing," Chuck said. "I was just thinking that if you were mine, I would sleep with you in a second."

"That's very comforting," Blair rolled her eyes. "But you're the one who also said that you would sleep with Serena."

"But I would consider sleeping with you more than once," Chuck smirked.

"Coming from you, I actually take that as a compliment," Blair said, laughing slightly. He liked that she laughed in his presence. She didn't really seem to laugh anymore.

"Well take it as one."

"It will probably be the only one I'll get today anyway," Blair said, looking out at the city. "Its my birthday today."

"I know," Chuck sighed. "I know what day it is in November."

"Well my mother doesn't."

"You know that has nothing to do with you," Chuck said.

"And how do you know?"

"I used to think that," he said. "When Bart would ignore me. But if someone can't even remember you, there really isn't hope for the rest of us. Especially when the rest of us have reasons to be ignored."

"Its not your fault," Blair responded. "Even if he blames you, you know its not."

They had swiftly switched topics, but they were both on top of it.

"Maybe not today," Chuck said. "But in some ways... yes. He does."

"He won't," Blair said confidently. "One day, you'll see."

"And why don't you?"

"Because there isn't a reason," Blair said. "My mother just... doesn't like me. There's no reason. I didn't do anything. She just doesn't like me. She likes my best friend more than me. That's it."

"For now."

"I think I need to go home," Blair said. "I can't stay here any longer."

"Take this," Chuck said, handing out his monogrammed flask. "You need it more than I do. And you'll find something when you get home."  
Blair smiled faintly. "How is it that you remember to give me presents more than my own mother?"

"Because," he told her, "I'm you, Waldorf. Couldn't you tell?"

Blair smiled. "I'm beginning to."


	39. Bonfire of the Vanity

**A/N**: I don't know how much of a stretch the last section is, but its one of my more favorite ones that I've written.

**Summary**: It had been mere seconds and already he was groaning against her. She didn't like how that guttural voice turned her on more than anything. He hit her again and her heels dug in to the back of his calves. She didn't like giving him too much power. It made him smug so she would muffle herself in his shoulder.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. Quotes belong to GG.

**

* * *

**

**Birthday**

_Blair and I will celebrate her birthday on her real birthday next week._

All things considered, it wasn't that bad. It was the first time that she could really recollect that her mother was paying her any attention. And fortunately, she had actually remembered her own daughter's birthday. The fact that Cyrus was there was the just one little nick in the family bonding that she had envisioned for her and her mother. Cyrus had been around all too much. Sure, he was living with them, but there was such a thing as overkill. Nonetheless, Cyrus seemed to have a good influence on her mother. Already her mother wasn't so critical and overbearing. This could be a good thing.

Blair was in the kitchen when it happened. She hadn't seen him for weeks. She didn't want to seem like she was holding a grudge against him for not coming to her party. It was just a coincidence that she was wearing the necklace. It seemed right since it was given to her after midnight, the eve of her actual birthday. But she sure as hell hadn't been expecting him. At least not at this hour.

"Who could be here at this hour?" Eleanor asked in wonder as the elevator sounded. Blair was about to go see who it was when she paused. She just knew. She felt him. And it threw her off. Instead, Cyrus beat her to it.

Blair hesitated in the doorway. His face was shadowy and he actually seemed to be speaking with Cyrus civilly.

"Who is it, darling?" Eleanor asked. Cyrus returned with Chuck silently in tow. Blair felt her mother pause after her.

"Chuck, right?" Eleanor asked critically, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, ma'am," Chuck replied with dark amusement. Blair wasn't about to point out that her mother was plenty acquainted with Chuck Bass. Not only did she attend his father's wedding, but Blair had known him since forever. It was probably just a Waldorf trait to be intimidating.

Chuck's eyes not so subtly flicked over to the object of his affection. It was that infuriating smirk that made her think that her mother shouldn't be in the same room, watching this.

"I will confess," Chuck said after an awkward silence, "I didn't know that anyone would be up at this hour."

"What were you planning on, then?" Eleanor asked. "Sneaking up to my daughter's room in the dead of night?"

Chuck bowed his head, trying to muffle his smirk because it was so completely true.

"Well," he replied. "It was a special occasion."

"Oh?" Eleanor asked.

"Last year, her party was the day before," Chuck elaborated, "but I just wanted to give her present."

Those were the magic words. Eleanor saw her daughter's face light up as she arched her neck in interest at Chuck's tantalizing words. Eleanor sighed in defeat.

"You have exactly seven minutes," she said. "We'll be waiting down here when you're finished."

Chuck raised his eyes in surprise. Never in his extensive experience with chasing women was he actually invited upstairs to a girl's room by her parents. Then again, the only girl's parents he knew were Blair's. And hers was the only house that he had visited.

He followed her cautiously as she mounted the marble staircase, keeping as close to her as was proper considering her mother was eying him venomously. He retreated into her room. Blair pressed her back to the door, closing it behind her. Chuck smirked, looking around the room that he found that he actually missed. Especially the activities that occurred in it.

Chuck sauntered over to the bed he missed and lounged across it. Blair crossed her arms over her chest moodily, glaring at him.

"Was there something you wanted to give me?" she asked pointedly. It was really her defense mechanism for that "come hither" look he was always giving her. And for some reason, since that time that they'd been apart, he had gotten more enigmatic with it. Dumb bastard.

"Come sit," he said, motioning to the spot next to him.

"Oh, on my own bed?" Blair asked sarcastically. "Thank you."

"Its what I'm here for."

She glared at him but still took the spot next to him. It wasn't her fault that he was just incredibly sexy. That was God's fault. And he was still staring at her.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said suavely. "I just want to savor this moment." God, he could be so smooth sometimes. "I like your face when I give you things. Especially things below the belt."

Blair pushed him away slightly. "Ew."

"Do you want it or not?"

"Want what?" she asked coyly.

"You tell me," he said deviously, leaning into her. Blair just held out her hand and he rolled his eyes. As though it were a year ago, he took out a slender black box and held it open for her. She stared at the red velvet, drawing the tips of her fingers around it. She looked up into his dark eyes. He was analyzing her reaction. Maybe it wasn't just a line.

"Its beautiful," she replied. Instantly her hand went to the sliver necklace that now adorned her neck. The one that had been in possession for exactly a year now. He smirked at her neckline.

"Its an Erikson Beamoun," she said again.

"I know you didn't put it on hold," Chuck said. "But I thought I would get this to commemorate our anniversary."

"Anniversary?" Blair repeated wryly.

"One of many," he grinned.

"You'll have to remind me."

"That I can do," he replied sleazily, dragging his hand to her thigh. She shot him a look and he relented. He leaned in and sweetly kissed her shoulder. She remembered now.

"Technically that would be when midnight turned into today," she reminded him.

"I would have been here sooner," he replied, "but I got held up."

"Is that so?" she asked in disbelief.

"I would have been to your party," he reiterated, "but there were some things with my father..."

"I understand," she said honestly.

He smiled. "I know you do."

Blair put her hand to the clasp on the nape of her neck so she could change necklaces. Chuck's own hands suddenly went to the same place, covering hers, stopping her.

"Don't," he said, his voice suddenly grasping that familiar tone of huskiness. "You know I'll have to put it on you and I won't be able to stop myself."

"Do you really want to?" she asked.

"I'm not so sure anymore."

Blair broke the heavy eye contact. She couldn't take it. She was like him. She knew that when it came to Chuck Bass, she seriously lacked self control. It was almost flattering to now know that he felt the same way.

But his fingers were still covering hers intimately over her neck.

"You know," he said roughly. "You shouldn't have worn your hair like that. Using my weakness against me."

"Well I'm sorry," she said. "But you didn't exactly give a warning that you would be dropping by. Not everything revolves around you, you know."

"I beg to differ."

His breath brushed against her lips and she knew that they were dangerously close. Not just because Eleanor or Dorota or whoever could most definitely walk in, but because of their own rules. Their own rules that clearly stated that they couldn't be together. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

They couldn't even follow their own guidelines that they had set for themselves. But Blair had known from the moment that he told her that she really didn't care.

They were so wrapped in each other's eyes that it took Dorota's third pointed cough to rouse them from what they wish could be.

"Miss Eleanor say to come get you after seven minutes."

"Its been three minutes," Chuck replied dryly.

He had clocked it.

"Miss Eleanor says she wants you down now," Dorota corrected. Blair reluctantly rose to her feet as Dorota left the doorway. She felt Chuck's hand tug at hers. He was still seated on the bed, looking up at her imploringly.

"We have to go," she said. They were both still whispering.

"Wait," he said. "Just this once." Blair closed her eyes against the temptation. She couldn't. She couldn't destroy herself like this. Not tonight. Maybe when she was ready, but not tonight.

"No, Chuck," she said, finally reigning in her impossible emotions. "We can't. You were the one who said we should wait."

"I know," he said in annoyance at himself. "It just seems so hard sometimes."

She smiled knowing if this wasn't so serious, he would definitely be making suggestions.

"I couldn't just come to your party knowing that the year before, you were mine."

"You said there were things with your father," Blair reminded him.

"There were," Chuck said. "But there were things with you too."

"I know," she replied. She pulled on his hand, pulling him to his feet. His hands immediately went to her waist steadying him. At least, she knew that's what he was rationalizing it as. She knew what it was like when you just wanted to touch someone. She brought her hands up to his face, making him look down on her. She leaned in behind his ear and lay a lingering kiss there. She pulled away to see that his eyes were closed. If he opened them, then he would know that this wasn't for real.

Blair dropped his hand, knowing that a second more of contact and she would have jumped him. And she knew that he wouldn't have stopped her. She walked to the landing, hoping that somehow she could leave all the heartache and love behind. But it was impossible.

"Will you wear it?" he asked quietly as he joined her in the darkness at the top of the staircase.

"I promise," she vowed. "You know I wear the other one."

"I know," he said. "I just don't see it."

"That doesn't mean that I don't."

Blair turned and descended the staircase. Her mother was looking at her critically but when she reached her, Eleanor seemed to be satisfied with her daughter's unruffled appearance, though there was sadness in her eyes.

"Well, Chuck," Eleanor said. "I won't say that this visit wasn't eventful."

"Was it?" he asked.

"For some," she said pointedly to her daughter.

"Ah," he replied. Nothing could get past the Waldorf women. He was aware of this.

"Let's just hope next year you'll come at a more descent hour so we can actually accept you into your house. You know we'd be glad to have you."

"Thank you," Chuck said with curious gratitude. He had never really been accepted before. He liked it and was surprised that Blair's mother seemed to be taking a strange liking to him masked by protectiveness. It was something, at least.

"I promise," he added. He looked to Cyrus and back. "Its been a pleasure."

He stepped to the foyer and pressed for the elevator. Blair realized she was looking away purposely when the doors closed. She couldn't see him walking away from her. Ever.

"He was polite," Cyrus noted.

"Yes," Blair said with soft distance. "He's always polite."

"Did he get you something you wanted?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes," Blair said again. "He always does."

"Well, he seems to be quite fond of you," Eleanor finished. Blair looked to the ground.

"I suppose he does."

She just wished it was more than a mere fondness that bound him to her.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll go to bed now," Blair said. Not waiting for an answer, she went back upstairs.

"He'll be back," Cyrus said confidently once Blair had left.

"Oh, of course," Eleanor said, waving it away. "He always comes back. Not matter what happens. She thinks I don't notice, but I do. Yes. He always comes back."

Blair didn't listen to her mother's words as she entered her room. She closed the door behind her and shrouded herself in darkness. Maybe if she pretended, he could just be here in this room with her again.

She turned the single light that illuminated her vanity. She picked up the exquisite piece, unclasping the one that seemed to always adorn her neck and replacing it with the new one. Maybe if she pretended, it could be his hands touching her, making her new again. Or maybe she would just have to wait.

**Feline**

_I fell deeply in love with a Vietnamese girl named Kim Li which means Golden Lion._

_A feline._

It was the one word he would use to describe her. It was just the way she moved. Her poise that caused her to slink towards him in that sultry way that just came off as innocent. But he knew better. It was the way she would purr in his ear which he would replay over and over. Her nails were claws that would dig into his back and cause him to shout out in pleasure laced with pain. The way she would lick his neck clean, swallowing all of the sin that he corrupted her with. The way her sleek eyes flicked to him discreetly, sending him silent messages that no one could decipher. It was the way she would climb onto his body gracefully, warming him right down to his bones. And how when she finally fell asleep, she would curl at his side, her breath caressing his flesh. She was his feline.

Chuck thought he was hallucinating. He was sure that her scent just clung to him. He was sure the guilt was tattooed to him when his own best friend stared. But who was he kidding? Nathaniel wasn't that perceptive. And it never ceased to amaze him how his best friend never realized what a goddess he had held literally in the palm of his hand and just let it slip away. To Chuck's advantage, of course. Nate just let her slip away... and slip right around Chuck.

Chuck dug through his clothing, trying to find something clean. He usually wasn't this disorganized. He was orderly (not that it mattered when you had a maid following you with rubber gloves and Comet.) But she was all over him. He wasn't sure if he ever wanted to get rid of it. He put one of his best dress shirts to his nose. He inhaled and sure enough, her perfume was embedded in the fabric. The scent of her was enough to make his eyes roll to the back of his head. She was... orgasmic. There was really no other word for it.

"Are you ready?"

Chuck wasn't skittish, but Nate's voice ripped him from the haze he submitted himself to. He cleared his throat. Not that Nate would ever be observational enough to notice, but Chuck didn't like taking any chances. He was so enamored with this woman, it was hard to realize that he still had a best friend to think of. But he made himself do it. He just didn't know which one was more worth it. If he could have it all, he would. And he would find a way.

"Let's go," Chuck replied, checking himself out in the mirror. It would pass. Besides, he knew his clothes wouldn't stay on for long anyway.

Chuck felt that familiar dropping of his stomach. The red silk slid over her thighs as she walked right in his direction without really seeing him. She knew how he hated to be ignored just as much as she did. And it was a game to her. Especially when his best friend of an ex was standing right next to him. At least with Serena, he could push the envelope. Though Nate wasn't the sharpest of minds, there would definitely be some confusion on his part.

"So do you want to stay over after?" Serena asked as they took there seats.

"I can't, actually," Blair said, sipping her drink. She didn't elaborate. She didn't have to.

"I'm really trying to be supportive--"

"You're actually really not," Blair said shortly. "But don't worry about it. Its not like I understand your taste in men either."

"This is different."

"It always is when its you," Blair scowled, "isn't it? I don't owe anyone anything."

"So this is your act of rebellion?" Serena asked scornfully.

"Call it whatever you want," Blair replied, "but there is no doubt in my mind that you will never understand. Let's just leave it at that before one of us says something we'll regret."

Serena wasn't about to broach the subject of how things had already crossed that line. Blair ignored her phone when it buzzed. She knew exactly who it was. He really was unsatiable and she couldn't risk it. Not tonight. Especially with Serena scrutinizing her every move.

"Don't you think you need to check your phone," Chuck said innocently as he cornered her at the bar. "Maybe there's an important message you could be missing."

"Doubtful," Blair sighed. "I've seen and done it all."

"I won't be the one to list the things you haven't even come close to doing."

"Don't be offensive," Blair shot him a look.

"Make me."

She certainly couldn't make his hand stop its dangerous journey.

"Not here," she said darkly.

"If not here, then where?"

"Where there aren't hundreds of New York's elite that could catch us," Blair pointed out.

"I can agree to those terms."

"That's not what I meant."

She knew exactly what he meant.

"Then tell me."

"No."

"Come home with me."

Blair was really trying to shove his hands away. It was harder when he had two of them. Her eyes leveled with his.

"Make me."

"I can agree to those terms," he smirked.

Blair flounced off, her lack of response and actual one. She could feel Serena's icy stare looking judgmentally in her direction. She took her seat, trying to drag her skirt back over her thighs. She could still feel his hands everywhere even when it was only his eyes that were touching her.

"When you stop your charity work and start dating someone who is faultless," Blair said, "like you obviously think you are, then we can talk."

"Fine," Serena sighed. "But the least you could do is tell Nate. You might not think you owe him anything, but there was a time when the two of you were happy."

"Yes," Blair replied. "For a whole two minutes. But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because," Blair said, something a little like vulnerability flashing across her eyes. "Then everyone would know. Then I'd actually have to admit... that I want this to work. And he might just... not. I'd rather live in a fantasy than have my heart broken when I promised I wouldn't. Especially by him."

"Then this actually means something to you?" Serena asked.

"I don't want to think about it."

"Sometime you're going to have to."

Blair knew it was only a matter of time before she caved to Chuck's libido. Considering he was the one who awakened hers. They were together so much, She was starting to think that maybe he didn't have time to be with anyone else. But she cut those thoughts away immediately. She didn't care. Even when he was mauling her in the elevator.

His teeth were digging exquisitely into the flesh of her neck in just that way as she clung desperately to his hair. The elevator dinged and she shoved him away, escaping the small metal box where they were using up all the oxygen.

She sighed when her back made contact with his bed. Somehow, she felt more at home here than she did anywhere else. Here, she was free to be whatever she liked. She was free to be herself and he almost loved her for it. She thought that maybe he did but she couldn't. She couldn't let him break her heart. Not when she started this thing to get away from that altogether.

It had been mere seconds and already he was groaning against her. She didn't like how that guttural voice turned her on more than anything. He hit her again and her heels dug in to the back of his calves. She didn't like giving him too much power. It made him smug so she would muffle herself in his shoulder. He didn't like that too much.

"Come on," he said hotly into her ear. "Won't you purr for me, kitten?"

Blair wanted to believe that she hated it when he gave her secret pet names like that. But it made her feel prized. Like she actually meant something. She was sure he didn't do that with any of his other conquests. Come to think of it, he never slept with them more than twice anyway. And he slept with Blair more than twice a day. And he never did the things he did to her with his conquests either. She believed him on that front as well.

She didn't want to give him the satisfaction. As soon as he said that, it was the opposite of what she wanted to do. But then again, when it came to Chuck Bass, she could never really control herself anyway. So when he heard her cry out, he branded himself into her skin. He was always there, sifting his way through her like no other man could ever have the capacity to do.

And when her eyes rolled to the back of her head, he wanted to tell her how much he loved it. It made sense that if he loved her reactions that much, that there were other things he could love. Other people. He would settle for keeping it to himself when she nipped his skin like the playful little thing that she was. And when she was done, she would curl by his side, purring out her satisfaction. He stroked her soft hair as she breathed easily.

It didn't bother him that she could be forever by his side. No one was really like her and he liked that. He liked his feline.


	40. The Magnificent Archibalds

**A/N**: So right this second I finished all of my allusions for the entirety of Season 2. As celebration, I will update quicker than I usually do. Granted, this isn't the best chapter I've ever written, but I finished it so you have to read it. I'm not sure if I'm going to do a 3rd Season to the allusions. But I didn't think I would do a second one either so I'm not really sure. And if I do, I might make a different multi fic because I don't know if people are reading a fic with like 40 chapters in it. Anyway, hope you like it. I have to go and study for exams now.

**Summary**: She didn't like the way that his mouth was curling up at her. It was like he was undressing her with his eyes, as if he already knew what she looked like naked. Nate really needed to get some new friends.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. Quotes and characters are all Gossip Girl.

**

* * *

**

**Private Investigation**

_Your dad just insinuated that Jonathon might be seeing someone else. How and why would he know that?_

_He has a PI on retainer like I do._

The only sounds in the limo that he could hear was his heavy breathing. He clenched his eyes shut against her neck. Her back arched and he could hear his name being cried in his ear. The sweat from his hairline slid down and made contact with her flesh. And with a brilliant flash of light and euphoric ecstasy, it was over and he had collapsed on top of her.

Her nails were still digging into him, holding him close as though she were afraid to let him go. Afraid to stop touching him. He liked to believe that was true. Her chest soon stopped heaving against his and evened out. He didn't lift his neck from her face. Not yet. It wasn't like they were.... cuddling or anything. Its not like they were in a relationship. It wasn't like he had a girlfriend. But for some reason, he liked her love scent all over him and the moments like these were the ones he loved the most even if he hid it from the world.

He gazed at her as she pulled her clothes on slowly. He wasn't really sure if that was for his benefit or she just didn't want to leave. He would take both because either way, it was flattering. He had no idea that it would have lasted this long. He never could have imagined that she would want to stay.

This was always the hardest part for him. He didn't like it when she left. He didn't know when it would be for good this time.

She didn't like it either. He could tell by the way she would avoid his eyes when she pulled on the handle and her perfectly swollen lips would press together. Her feet touched down on the pavement outside of his limo as she attempted to gracefully retreat from the transport, not letting anyone know the very unladylike things she had done and let be done to her. By him. Chuck Bass. And he was letting her go again.

Swift as lightning, his hand shot out from where she was about to close the door behind her and grasped her firmly on the wrist. She turned to him questioningly.

"Come here," he said roughly and pulled her in for a kiss. He liked the look of surprise in her eyes when he did things like that. He wasn't supposed to. But the idea that this was still just a fling was something that they just told themselves to stay grounded. They couldn't admit they were falling so hard and so desperately for the one person that they weren't supposed to.

She pulled away a moment later, her eyes glowing. He stood up with her and pressed a kiss to her ear pleasantly. He just liked that look of warm surprise that her eyes ignited with. He pushed her hair tenderly behind her ear.

"Until we meet again," he smirked and got back in the limo. He didn't pull away until he had watched her retreat all the way back into her penthouse.

* * *

Chuck trudged back into his room still glowing from the way her nails raked down her back.

He had no idea that Bart was back from his business trip.

"Charles."

He never liked that tone. Especially when Bart never condescended to speak to him like this. Not like a father does to a son. Like a guard speaks to an inmate. No respect, treating them as though they had already done something wrong. But for the first time, Chuck couldn't help but think he had only done something right.

"I hope you know what time it is."

_Not like you've ever cared before._

"I do," Chuck replied without a care. He wouldn't be treated like a criminal. He liked not being completely miserable. It had its perks.

"Then it won't be a surprise to you that I know exactly what you've been doing."

That really wasn't a surprise. Everyone on the Upper East Side knew about Chuck's exploits.

"Is that why you're home for once, or does this intervention have an intermission ?" Chuck sneered. It wasn't fair. Bart was just a hypocrite and Chuck wasn't even doing anything. Not anything he didn't have a right to do anyway. She wasn't taken.

Not anymore.

And she wasn't like all the others. She was... special. And not even Bart could take that from him.

"This isn't an intervention," Bart sighed. "I just want to talk."

"Since when?" Chuck asked, not being able but to sound bitter. That's what happened after 16 years of oppression.

Answering, Bart just tossed the packet on the table. Chuck recognized that file. It was his. His name was haphazardly scrawled across the front in what Chuck knew was definitely not his father's handwriting, but probably the PI's.

"Is this anything new?" Chuck asked dryly. "I know that you have me followed."

"Than perhaps you should consider being more... discreet."

It clicked and all Chuck could do was pick up the file and look at its contents.

He thought he was being careful. He thought _they_ were being careful. He should have known. He was getting too caught up. He should have kept a straight mind but when he was with her, everything just seemed to fall away. And he wished he wasn't thinking like some teen romance where the girl went to a new school and fell for the mysterious boy who sat next to her in biology. He didn't read them and he wasn't like that. He wasn't a romantic. But sometimes when she looked at him, he could fool himself into thinking that he was.

Chuck ran his fingers over her tousled curls as she exited the limo in the glossy photo. He didn't want to go through them all. He didn't want to know what his father knew or see what his father saw. He didn't want his father to know that...

"She's not like the rest," Bart said blandly.

Chuck finally tore his eyes from her flushed face to look into his father's cold eyes. Except they weren't that cold today. Maybe a mild wind chill, but not accusing. In fact, Bart almost looked... Chuck couldn't pick it up. He had never sent hat expression before. Not directed at him, and definitely not from his father.

"Is that a question or a statement?" Chuck asked.

"You tell me."

"Does it matter?"

"You think I don't know," Bart said slowly, "what you do at night with all of those women?"

"I never denied it," Chuck replied coolly.

"Do you deny this?"

"There wouldn't be any point."

"She is the only constant, here," Bart told him. "And you want to hide the fact that you don't sleep around with any woman you can get your hands on."

"I don't want to hide it," Chuck admitted quietly.

"Then she does?"

Chuck didn't like how Bart was so invested in this. It was just more pressure. More pressure for him not to screw this up. He didn't think that he could let her go. It would mean ripping her from his very soul and that would be more than painful. It would be torture.

"She's Nathaniel's," Chuck finally said out loud. He was trying to convince himself that he didn't think it was so, but this was proving the opposite. He felt guilty. He couldn't feel guilty about the way he felt for her or the things he did to her that caused her to cry out his name. He would never be able to stop. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but feel that this was some sort of betrayal. The problem was, he didn't care. The problem was that he was guilty that he wasn't feeling guilty.

"Was," Bart corrected.

His father really did know too much about his private life.

"If you don't fight for what you want, then you'll never get it," Bart advised. He took the file from Chuck's hands, putting everything back together. "Tell you what. I'll keep this under wraps. Until you're ready."

Chuck stared at his father walking away. He was actually getting... approval. Because of her. Because of her, he was actually worth something. He would never disconnect her from him. And he didn't want her to.

**Change**

_When I was 13, I found the most amazing surveillance photos of Gina, my hot Italian Au Pair. Those photos and Gina changed my life._

Chuck wasn't a virgin. Everyone knew that. Even Blair Waldorf knew that. In a moment of weakness and being poached on, he was victimized by one Georgina Sparks.

Whore.

However, it was only when one fateful Au Pair was hired that Chuck received his mantel of a womanizer.

By this time, Nathaniel Archibald and Blair Waldorf had already begun their four year journey of dismissal, pining, and heartbreak that was the monarchy of King N and Queen B. In Chuck's humble opinion, Nate could do much better. Blair was shrill, clingy, and needy. And her best friend Serena seemed to have... filled out much better.

It wasn't that Chuck hadn't caught Nate sneaking not so covert glances at the golden goddess. He was just so weak that he let the little 5 foot whatever brunette princess take complete and total control of his best friend. And Chuck was going to fix it. He would never let himself be committed to one woman for the rest of his life. Even if she was the most mesmerizing and evil creature that was so like him he could practically read her mind. It wouldn't happen because she didn't exist. And Chuck didn't want her to.

Breaking into his father's safe as a natural occurrence for him. He knew the combination. Even for someone like Bart, Chuck knew his desire because it was Chuck's as well. He wanted his mother back and that was never going to happen. So Bart forever immortalized the day she was born by programming it into the safe. Typical.

Gina was the first taste of his new life. He never really liked being tied down like Nate. He didn't like the notion of having to be sweet and gentlemanly all the time. It was disgusting. He didn't want some girl to have power over him that he couldn't control. And Gina taught him that. That and more.

The photos were... something not even _Penthouse_ could publish. Apparently Gina had a fetish for bringing her many boyfriend's to her job and screwing them on her boss's bed. And apparently she also had a fetish for the boss's son... and for making him a man.

Georgina was responsible for take Chuck's virginity. But Gina taught him things for which he could now credit his incredible stamina and sexual knowledge to if she hadn't. She made him that Chuck Bass that everyone knew and... tolerated.

It didn't take Bart long to figure this out and have her fired. Maybe he thought that Chuck was too young and innocent to take care of himself. But no one would ever think about that again. And by the time she was gone, Chuck didn't even need her anymore anyway. He was already sleeping his way towards the seniors and he wasn't even in high school yet.

There was one last thing Chuck had to credit Gina towards as well. She made him not care so much about conventionality. With her exotic dark looks, he looked upon the likes like Serena van der Woodsen and found her trying too hard. Challenges what were he was into. He didn't like his fruit pre-picked. He liked the chase and he liked the conquest of a woman who was good enough not to fall directly at his feet. And there was only one.

He did enjoy the prestige of practically no woman ever refusing him, but the one society girl that deemed him unsuitable was something altogether. Sure there were the prudes who didn't go all the way and the girls who thought they were so much better than him after returning from boarding school. But there was also something else. There was one woman who refused him just for the fun of it. Just to play. Maybe she was an urban legend. Or maybe she was right in front of his face.

Chuck Bass would not tolerate Blair Waldorf. She was slowly but surely sapping away his best friend's will to live and he would not allow that. He was also sucking away the fun that came in the form of green bud and he didn't like that either.

The entire summer before freshman year, Chuck had to entertain himself solely on the bodies of willing women that were really becoming predictably boring. His contempt for the little brunette festered blisteringly over the summer and when the first day of a new school arrived, he knew he wouldn't take it any longer. Blair wouldn't have her Satanic hold on Nate anymore. He was sure of it.

Chuck closed the door of the limo behind him and approached the front steps. Chuck's eyes skipped over girls leaning against walls and right to Nate where he was waiting diligently. He doubted it was for him. But when Nate saw him, his face lit up.

"Where've you been?" Chuck asked coolly. "It's been, what, three months?"

"Sorry, man," Nate said. "Its been..."

"Blair?" Chuck asked snidely. "You have to man up. You can't let some girl overpower you. Not even let you see your best friend."

"Its not the bad," Nate protested. "She's gotten better."

"Please," Chuck scoffed.

"Really," Nate said, looking behind him. Chuck followed his eye line to the girls of Constance comparing stockings or whatever.

"Don't tell me you've dumped her," Chuck said. "That would make my year."

"No," Nate replied. "She's right there."

Chuck narrowed his eyes further when his stomach dropped.

When he came to school that day, he was going to put that little bitch in her place. He wasn't going to let her soul suck the life out of Nate. But he really didn't think that he was looking at the same girl he had seen so few months ago.

"Can you try to be nice?" Nate asked as they approached the girl that Chuck was sure he had never seen before.

"I'll do my best..." Chuck said distantly, taking in the sight.

Blair Waldorf was leaning against the stone wall, clad in her short little plaid skirt, her eyes cast at her surroundings in boredom.

And holy hell, was she hot. Damn. Now he knew Nate's new perspective. Chuck wasn't the only one who was changed. Blair had certainly... filled out. Her pale legs (despite the sun of the summer) were strewn in front of her, sans stockings. He was glad she was showcasing what he definitely wanted to see more of.

He dark locks had glossed out and were thrown carelessly over her shoulder in a waterfall of dark curls. He wondered what they felt like. Her onyx eyes shifted. She felt his gaze on her. Her ruby lips curled into an alluring sneer as she took him in.

"Bass."

Her voice was now low and sultry.

"Has it been this long or have you actually lost so many brain cells you've forgotten how to speak?"

He was getting over the shock and taking her in.

"Blair," he heard Nate's reprimanding voice. "Be nice."

"I'm doing my best," she said dryly, not taking her eyes away from Chuck who was so very obviously checking her out and lewdly leering at her.

Nate didn't even notice.

"Waldorf," Chuck finally said huskily. "You look as ravishing as ever."

She looked down at him cruelly. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"Its the complete truth," he smirked.

She didn't like the way that his mouth was curling up at her. It was like he was undressing her with his eyes, as if he already knew what she looked like naked. Nate really needed to get some new friends.

Nate fidgeted awkwardly. He could never really stand the verbal barbs that Chuck and Blair stuck to each other. All he could do was excuse himself.

"Oh, look, Waldorf," Chuck sneered. "You're bitch is showing. I think you scared him away."

"As much as you're suffocating natural musk and constant stench of hooker. Did Armani come out with a knew scent?"

"I'm so flattered that you noticed," Chuck replied. "But aren't you supposed to me noticing your boyfriend more than his best friend?"

"Like you would know," Blair retorted. "Speaking of, has Gina, your Au Pair kept in touch? I heard she was in that detention center for sex crimes. Maybe you can schedule a conjugal."

"Now why would I do that when I have you all to myself?" he asked, reaching forward to touch her arm. "I don't see Nate around."

She flicked her wrist from his touch as though she had been burned.

"What is this, Bass?" Blair finally asked, dropping the act. "I won't let you play with me, so drop the game."

"Waldorf," he smirked lecherously, leaning in so he could whisper in her ear. "I would so love it if I could play with you."

Chuck could honestly say that he had never been slapped across the face before. And as far as losing virginities went, Blair Waldorf gave as good as she got. Chuck held his hand to the growing welt on the side of his face as he watched Blair walk away. And he loved watching her walk away.

Change came quickly and suddenly, and not the kind of change that caused your best friend's girl to grow into a woman over the summer, causing all of your blood rush south of your brain.

He watched her walk away and he realized the change wasn't just in her. It was in him. And for the first time, he knew what it was like to want what he couldn't have.

**You Sure**

_By the way, I'm glad you stayed too._

_Thanks, man._

_Let's get drunk instead._

Thanksgiving was a time to spend with your family. Chuck had heard this from every classmate ever. He didn't really have a family. Not while Bart was out with his PI more than his wife and his wife was currently slumming it in Brooklyn. Luckily, friends, to him, were more like family than his actual blood was.

And luckily Nate was currently without family as well, drinking until your liver burst just seemed like a good option at this point. Even if the only person looking after them in case they got alcohol poisoning was the designated driver who also happened to get paid, Arthur. Arthur was more of a father to Chuck than Bart was. Not that it mattered at this point.

How they ended up in front of the Waldorf Penthouse instead, Chuck would never know. Or he would never admit to really knowing.

"Where are we?" Nate slurred.

Chuck just leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. This was the only home he would ever need.

* * *

"Blair-Bear."

Blair looked through the crowd to see her father. She pushed away her second piece of pie (which she wasn't going to vomit this year, thank you very much) and joined him at the window.

"Did you have plans tonight?"

"What are you talking about?"

"There's been a limo idling out there for the past 20 minutes," Harold replied.

"What?" Blair asked. She pulled back the curtain. She could see the familiar tinted windows and the sleekness that blended into the night. there was no doubt who was in that car. She put her hand to the window, her nails compressed against the condensation.

"Do you want to go out there?" Harold asked.

"What?" Blair asked, snapping out of the reverie of the familiarity of what used to go on inside.

"Doesn't your friend Chuck usually drive around in those?" Harold mused. "Do you want to invite him up?"

"I don't..." Blair said awkwardly.

"I insist," Harold said.

"Alright..." Blair replied reluctantly.

As long as her father was insisting she would go down there and make a fool of herself. Even if her father wasn't as innocent as he pretended to be.

* * *

Chuck watched the window as the curtain fell from the silhouette. Nate was still in his haze. He was such a lightweight. He barely had any.

It was wishful thinking that caused Chuck to see Blair in her own window, but when she pranced down the steps past her doorman, there was no question. But the expression on her face was giving him second thoughts.

She walked with dignity, her head held high and her arms crossed over her chest. She stopped right outside of his window, looking through the glass expectantly. It was like she knew that he was staring at her even though it was impossible that she could.

He saw her chest heave in a sigh and she brought her knuckles to the glass, wrapped sharply. Nat started.

"What was that?"

"The perfect ending to a wonderful night," Chuck murmured to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied. Blair waited a whole two seconds before knocking in annoyance again. How she knew it was him, he would have no idea. But this was entertaining nonetheless, so he rolled down the window.

"Waldorf," he smirked. "To what do I owe this dubious pleasure?"

"Oh my god," Blair said in disgust. "You're lucky we can't smell the fumes from inside."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Chuck," she sighed in that beautiful way that she did. "You're so drunk, you don't even know you're drunk."

"Well I had no idea you were so obsessed with me," he smirked.

"Me?" Blair asked. "You're the one who's being sitting outside of my house for the past half hour."

Nate snorted in the background.

"And how would you know that?" Chuck asked in annoyance.

"Daddy is very observant."

"Your father's here?" Chuck asked in intrigue.

"Yes," Blair sighed. "And he invited you up. I would be happy to oblige if you weren't so trashed."

She pivoted to turn to leave if he hadn't called her back.

"Well if your father invited us," Chuck called. "It would be rude not to oblige."

"I suppose one could look at it that way," Blair said slowly. Chuck pulled on the handle and spilled out into the street. Blair rolled her eyes.

"Not just you, Bass," she said. "Nate too."

Chuck was considering getting a new best friend.

* * *

Chuck and Nate leaned on the inside of the elevator with Blair in the middle, completely aware that she was probably starting to smell like scotch just by being in the mere proximity of them both.

"You better not embarrass me," Blair warned them as they entered the party.

"Whoa," Nate said. "Are these people all your family?"

"Extended," Blair corrected. She cast a look at Nate. "Why don't you go sit down? You look like you're about to collapse."

"Some of us, Nathaniel," Chuck said, pleased that she was only talking to Nate, "aren't such lightweights."

"Oh, shut up," Blair said, rolling her eyes, making her way through the crowd. Chuck attempted to keep up with her. The house seemed to be spinning. Suddenly, Blair's sharp nails connected with his ear, and she was pulling him down to her level.

"My father is here," she uttered harshly to him, "and if you say anything about social destruction, limo sex, or torture, I will end you."

Chuck grimaced. "Noted."

"Good," Blair said brightly, letting him tower above her again. Chuck rubbed his ear in annoyance.

"This must be the famous Chuck Bass."

Chuck looked over to see none other than Harold Waldorf. He turned a smug look to Blair as she looked away in shame. Chuck took her father's hand cordially.

"Pleased to meet you, sir," he greeted.

"Don't call me sir," Harold smiled warmly. "It makes me feel old."

Chuck wasn't about to say that someone who had an 18 year old daughter would at least constitute as middle aged.

"I had no idea that Blair was so fond of me," Chuck smirked at her as she glared back up at him.

"And I had no idea that Thanksgiving was a party holiday," Harold mused.

Chuck looked down. Harold wasn't as oblivious as he seemed to be. Everyone could obviously smell the scotch all over him.

"Well I'm glad to meet someone so central in Blair's life," Harold told him. Chuck cast another covert glance at Blair. She groaned and went through the crowd to avoid further humiliation.

"She always was a bit dramatic," Harold said.

"Yes..." Chuck said distantly, watching her flee gracefully through the crowd with poise. "She can get like that sometimes."

"I'm actually glad you were idling outside of my daughter's window for half and hour," Harold noted. Chuck swallowed nervously. He didn't do this meeting the parents thing but Harold obviously wanted to see him. He had no idea why considering the drama that transpired between his daughter and Chuck. "I'm glad that she knows someone who can take care of her like that."

"What?" Chuck asked in confusion.

"Nate was a gentleman," Harold said. Chuck set his jaw. He hated being compared to perfect Nathaniel. "But I always had the feeling that you were always there for her. She needs that. Considering how dramatic she can get."

"I understand," Chuck said in awe, thinking that he really did.

"Why don't you go find her?" Harold suggested. "I don't want her to scare her extended family."

"Of course," Chuck said. At least someone's father valued him, even if it wasn't his own.

"Found you," Chuck said huskily as he entered the parlor. Blair was perched perfectly on the side of the couch. She looked deep in thought. She blinked rapidly and turned her enigmatic eyes him.

"Haven't seen Nate around," Chuck mused.

"I wasn't looking," Blair replied. This made Chuck smile. "What?"

"Nothing," Chuck shrugged, sauntering carefully towards her. He watched in satisfaction as she stiffened temporarily and relaxed. He still had it. He sat uncomfortably close to her, inhaling her sweet scent that he had missed so much. "You told your father about me."

"You mean when you abandoned me in Tuscany?" Blair shot back defensively. She didn't like how he was getting so close.

"Something tells me that wasn't what you told him," he said. "He seemed quite fond of me."

"As sweet as my father is," Blair said, "he can be a bit misguided at times." Chuck edged closer.

"You sure?"

Blair closed her eyes and turned her head slightly. He saw the slight smile anyway.

"I won't respond to that."

"Not the way I want, anyway," he smirked. Blair rolled her eyes, but he saw the softness there that told him she was thinking of the exact same thing that he was. That phrase would always hold true for them.

"You're suddenly sober," she noted.

"You have that effect on me," he said, sweeping some of her hair to the side.

She matched his smile. "You sure?"


	41. It's a Wonderful Lie

**A/N**: This is one of the more better ones that I've written. After this chapter, they will be gettinig longer and more intense because of how the season was changing at the time. The ending is a little sad-angsty, but that's the direction that the show was going at the time.

**Summary**: "If you are lucky enough to get past her defenses, you should know it was me who taught her everything she knows when she accidentally screams my name instead of yours."

**Disclaimer**: All quotes belong to Gossip Girl. I just gave them more meaning.

**

* * *

**

**Sabotage**

_Just out of curiosity, who's in the lead to play Guy With No Future?_

_What makes you think I'm not looking for something more long term?_

_Call it a hunch._

_Keith Nelson._

_Are you kidding? Have you ever seen him without gum? The oral fixation alone will drive you insane._

_Andy Clark._

_Outscored your verbal on the SAT's._

_I like an intelligent man. He can whisper mellifluous nothings in my ear._

_You only think you like an intelligent man. The moment he gives you a history on the word "mellifluous," you'll rip out his sweetly flowing tongue._

"Bass."

He knew that tone all too well. He wasn't too keen on it happening in the locker room, but that was where he was being cornered. He hadn't even done anything... that bad. He was just protecting what was rightfully his. And if telling Blair horror stories about guys that asked her out was the way to do that, he was going to do it. It wasn't like they were his friends. He didn't really need them. He had Nate. And Blair. Guys were too intimidated by him to really trust him anyway.

They were still reeling about how he was the one to de-virginate the Ice Queen. They let Nate go because he was her boyfriend and it wasn't really like Nate Archibald was that tuned in anyway. Chuck Bass was another story altogether, though. He owned the Upper East Side and for his exploits, he should be worshiped.

However, when one Chuck Bass derails several guys from St. Jude's and other prep schools in the city from getting a date with the perfect Blair Waldorf, someone had to stand up. Maybe he used to have rights to the beauty, but they weren't together anymore. They weren't technically ever, but everyone knew that Chuck and Blair were in a strictly platonic relationship.

For now.

Chuck was going to change that. What those around them didn't realize was that they were never truly apart. It was part of their dynamic. When Blair was with someone else, he was constantly plotting to get him out of the picture. It was nothing personal.

Keith Nelson didn't seem to take it that way.

Chuck turned slowly, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Nelson."

"You're still tight with Blair, right?"

Chuck's nails turned white against the locker as he slammed it closed. Not only was he "tight" with her, he didn't like how informal he was using her name, as well as the lingo Keith was apparently under the influence that was still acceptable.

"You could say that."

"Well, its funny," Keith said. "Because Clark said he heard you telling her that I have oral fixation."

"Is there a problem?" Chuck asked coolly.

"Listen," Keith retorted, "just because you missed your chance with her, doesn't mean you have to C-Block the rest of us."

Chuck turned his face away in amusement.

"And I'm sure that Clark just told you this from the goodness of his heart," Chuck sneered. "Or maybe he forgot to mention that he also is vying for her attention."

He watched in satisfaction as Keith's face dropped.

"That's what I thought."

"We're friends..." he said slowly. Chuck knew that story all too well. But even when you were best friends with someone, when you met someone else, you couldn't help it. Things just happened.

"Regardless," Chuck said. "You couldn't handle a woman like Blair. You can take my word on that one."

"That's the point," Keith said. "Thanks to you. She must be a tomcat in the sack."

Chuck clenched his jaw, reigning in the very primal need to bash this kid's face in. But he didn't do that. He was much more into cold, hard revenge.

"You know what?" he asked savagely. "Go ahead. Just try and see what she does if you pursue her. Because I can guarantee that at the end of the night, I'm the one who will be dancing with her."

"Is that a challenge, Bass?" Keith asked.

"It doesn't have to be," Chuck retorted. "Blair is more into the guys with oral hygiene. Especially with the things they should be doing to her with that mouth. But hey, be my guest. Go ahead. And if you are lucky enough to get past her defenses, you should know it was me who taught her everything she knows when she accidentally screams my name instead of yours."

Chuck began to back from the locker room in triumph. It was true, his original plan was just to sabotage every date she would get. Hell if he was going to watch some jock take what had always been and would always be rightfully his.

He had no doubt that when he did in fact see her at the ball, she would be the most mesmerizing thing there. She would be the on smoothing down the lapel of his sparkling jacket. And it would be his hands on her lower back, guiding her across the dance floor.

**One and Only**

_We both know I'm your one and only. And a Canal Street knockoff seemed like the best option._

Blair knew it was only a matter of time before coming to this conclusion. She was just wasting her time by having Dorota looking for girls on Facebook. It was only a matter of time before she she saw a spitting image of her. It would kill her to do this. She didn't want to pick out the perfect date for him. But when he presented it as a challenge, there was no way she could refuse.

That way he would gracefully stand from her piano and saunter his way towards her. She could never say no to him. Maybe that was the way their so called relationship had started. She could never refuse him. Not that she could ever want to.

This, however, would surely kill her. She could fool herself into giving him some date that was no doubt, cheap, blonde, and easy. But that wasn't it. That wasn't... her. And in an essence, that was his perfect girl. It was her. She wondered what his reaction would be if she just presented herself, but that wouldn't work either. That would be as good as conceding.

It was easy. A project would be as good as anything. A petite brunette...

Justine.

That was it. This certainly would mean certain death, because if Justine was anything like her, she could be caving to Chuck's come-ons in no time.

Well she wasn't going to let that happen. She would make sure of it.

Blair didn't usually condescend to speak to those she didn't have to. Justine was a borderline project and sufficiently young looking so she was good enough.

"Justine," Blair said simply. "Lunch. One sharp."

And that was it. There was no denial, there was no refusal. This was law. And you followed your queen's orders.

Blair surveyed her coolly across the table. She had to get an innocent looking enough one. Not only did Chuck really go for that sort of thing, but she wouldn't dare to actually sleep with him.

"I assume you're going to the Snowflake Ball," Blair said after several moments of silence.

"Oh," Justine said in surprise. She was sure she was being ex-communicated. "I'm not a senior."

"My point exactly," Blair said. "You're going to the Snowflake Ball."

"I don't have a date."

"And I'm looking to change that," Blair said innocently. No one needed to be involved in this scheme that was more than necessary. Besides, schemes like these were just foreplay. And foreplay with Chuck Bass was better when it stayed that way. Alone with Chuck Bass.

"It would be foolish of me to think that you don't know Chuck Bass."

"Not personally," Justine swallowed nervously. Blair didn't want to think about how "personal" Chuck would get with girls that looked like Justine. In any case, Blair liked how nervous Justine looked at the mere mention of his name. It was common knowledge that Chuck was simply that. Chuck Bass. He didn't do relationships and he didn't do anything more than a one night-stand. That is, he didn't until Blair came along.

Everyone knew this. And everyone knew that she was his one and only. Anyone who knew Blair and wanted to keep their heads, didn't go near Chuck. They didn't think about him, they didn't talk to him. And they damn well didn't even think of breathing near him. Unless of course, they were asked.

Blair smiled. "You're going to the ball with Chuck Bass."

"Um..." Justine stuttered. "Okay."

She really didn't have a choice in the matter.

"Just one other thing."

Justine nodded. Anything to please Blair.

"Don't even think about following him up onto a roof," Blair threatened. "If I find you did anything more than dancing, I will destroy you."

Justine couldn't even swallow.

"I'm glad we've cleared that up," Blair smiled sweetly. "Come on. We need to get you ready. And you definitely need a better headband."

**Accidents**

_Where's Charles?_

_I don't know. _

_I need to find him._

_What's wrong?_

_Bart's been in an accident._

They were holding hands. Chuck had never realized it before, but this wasn't the first time. He was always so afraid of being intimate with her, not realizing that they had done it before. Especially when they were dancing.

Her face was so close to his. Her lips so inviting that if he really wanted to, he could make her his again. He could taste her again, delving in the sharp beauty that was always on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes were shining and he knew he could do it. But with her, it was always different. He didn't care about propriety and modesty when he was with girls. But with her... she wasn't just a _girl_. She was _Blair_. _The_ girl. _The_ woman. His woman.

He was sure that she knew this too. He was sure because he took her hand when the song was over. He pulled her lightly like he had when he was pulling her onto the dance floor. It was different now. Her fingers curled warmly in his. This was how it was supposed to be.

They thrived in the darkness where it was deliciously evil. Her lips tasted all that much sweeter. Her body felt that much hotter. And she loved him that much more when they were here. He knew it, even if they weren't possible right now. Even if he wanted them to be.

Her breath was hot against his neck. He could feel their hearts thrumming together. It was typical, really. This would happen to him. When he was with her, there wasn't anything else. The way she looked at him like he was actually worth it.

And he couldn't help himself. The way her curls descended down her shoulders like his hands should. The way her wide eyes seemed to read him completely. The way her mouth curled at the corner, as if only for him.

So he leaned in, both of his hands on either side of her face. This time, she didn't stop him. She should have. She should have known that as soon as his lips touched hers, all hell would break loose. That's the way it always was for them. Their timing was always off. They would never get it right.

As soon as his fingers tangled themselves in her hair and his breath became ragged, she should have known that it wouldn't last. She should have been looking. She should have been thinking.

She shouldn't have been loving.

So of course she didn't see a petrified Lily trailed by the golden Serena. She didn't feel the apprehension after that phone call. All she felt was his heat all over her and how she never wanted it to stop.

But from the moment his full name was uttered, she knew it was done. She knew they were over. She knew he was leaving her. He pulled away. And Lily had the tact to tell all of them everything right then and there. She had the tact to break Blair's heart as Chuck shoved away from her. She wanted to follow him. She would have followed him. But all her legs could do was shake as she watched him walk out of her life.


	42. Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou Part I

**A/N**: So these first two are more angsty because of the way the episodes were set up. But the last one is a little more innocent because that's how pre-series Chair roles. I've had some reviews that people like Bart incorperated especially when Blair's in the mix and how Bart likes Blair for Chuck (sorry, spoiler alert.) Anyway, I'm really fond of this chapter. In my opinion, there are more vinettes when the episode as better and as you can see, this is only the first part, so I hope you enjoy.

**Summary**: That's when he felt it. Something to definitely shake him from his haze. He looked down and sure enough, there it was. What he was certain he would never feel. Blair's perfectly manicured hand was residing plainly on his thigh like it was meant to be there all along.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to Gossip Girl as do the amazing chemistry that Leighton and Ed have perfected.

**

* * *

**

**Twins**

_How is Charles holding up?_

_Who knows? He hasn't returned any of my calls or texts but the hotel says they keep sending up food, so there's something alive in that room._

_You should try some capers with that and just a tickle of the sliced onion._

_Maybe I'm underestimating his emotional bond with Kim and Kristi from room service but I just think that at a time like this, he should be with someone who cares about him._

Blair had promised she wouldn't do this again. She promised Serena. And she knew very well what he would say if he knew. At least, if he was acting normal and not the parasitic monster that had possessed him and walked around in Chuck Bass's body. She couldn't blame him for anything, but she couldn't think of any other reason if it wasn't for him.

It was her standing at his door that led to this. She never should have knocked. She never should have shown weakness. She never should have shown him that she cared. But that's what he did to her. She was powerless to stop it. So she knocked when she shouldn't have.

He didn't even answer the door. She didn't know which "K" twin it was, but she vowed to tear those stupid blonde extensions from her head. From both of their heads.

"May I help you?" she asked in that valley girl voice. Blair had really thought The Palace had more class than that. How the hell did she get hired?

Blair simply rolled her eyes, pushing beside her (as she stupid bitch gave an affronted "hey!") and strode purposefully into the room she knew so well that she had finally gained admittance to since the accident.

She knew what she would find, but that didn't mean she didn't feel her heart getting ripped out of her chest as she saw it. He didn't even look up at first. Nevertheless, she never dared show weakness. Instead, Blair just looked upon Chuck sprawled half naked in the bed with the other whore from room service, her arms crossed over her chest, the look of mild indifference cast across her face. She had learned it from someone.

"Chuck," Blair said coolly. _She didn't care. This didn't bother her. She didn't care. She didn't care._

He cast his glassy and hazy eyes over at her. He gave no look of remorse or even that he was cast in a compromising position. In fact, he even had the gall to look affronted that she intrude on his domain.

"Blair."

God he was drunk. He was drunk, he was high, he was completely incapacitated that he had no idea what he was doing to her. What he was doing to himself.

"Care to join us?"

_Us._

She wanted to vomit.

"Surprisingly, no," Blair sneered. "I want you to get up."

"Do you _need_ me?" he asked cruelly.

She didn't even flinch at his words. She had prepared herself for this occasion because she knew that she would need it. She knew him. Better than even Nate. Nate was oblivious and naïve when it came to this. He was appalled when Chuck went to such lengths to hurt her. Blair wasn't fooled. And she didn't care. He needed her even if he was incapable of admitting it to himself, let alone to her. She was here for him. He could say anything. She wouldn't waver. She wouldn't bend. She wouldn't break. She loved him and that was that. There was nothing he could say to make her go away.

"Quite the opposite," Blair replied. "What you need is to get dressed and go to your father's funeral. And maybe some medical attention." Blair turned swiftly to the room service concubines. "You do know that his father died, right? That you're nothing more than cheap whores to someone who can't even feel?"

Before she knew it, Chuck was out of the bed and pulling her away. She didn't even register how little clothing he was wearing. It didn't even register with him. He was too out of it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Saving you from yourself," Blair snapped.

"In case you haven't noticed," he said cockily, "I don't need to be saved."

"Maybe not from anything but syphilis," Blair retorted.

"Why?" Chuck asked, his hand above her head on the wall. She only knew what he was pulling before it was too late. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of you and the twins from room service?" Blair asked snidely. "Please."

"Really?" he asked. "You don't wish it was you that I was pouring all of my... _need_ and _frustration_ into. You don't wish it was you that I was making scream my name again."

"Stop it, Chuck," Blair said. She wouldn't take this. She refused.

"It's okay," he said softly, stroking a lock of her dark hair that had escaped her headband. And she almost fell for it. "You never got over me. It's not surprising really. But you're just going to have to deal with the fact that this is me now."

She knew him. And this wasn't it. It was him, but he was deteriorating right in front of her eyes and no one would notice. She couldn't do anything to help him and he was dying right in front of her. She knew she had to protect herself, but when he was looking at her in that way, she couldn't help but fall for him all over again.

The reason that she was here was that because she was the only one that could be. She was the only one who had the mental capacity to handle it. Nate couldn't even comprehend it. Serena definitely didn't get it. And Blair wasn't so stupid that she didn't see that Lily had other things preoccupying her mind than her step-son slowly but surely killing himself up here.

Blair knew the only way to get what she wanted from him was to strike back with as much vigor and fury that he was. She knew it was wrong, but they were Chuck and Blair. It was necessary to say this to a man-child whose father had just been in a gory accident.

"Fine," Blair said simply. He didn't show any weakness of his own, but she knew that she had caught him off guard. She took a hold of his front suddenly and pulled him down so she could whisper in his ear. "Then just be content in pretending that it is really me. Because it's not me whose screaming your name, Chuck. It's someone who doesn't even care about you."

She shoved him away.

"And don't think for one second that I'm done here. I'll come back. And with reinforcements."

She didn't even bother to look back at his dull expression. She knew that was one thing that she couldn't handle. She couldn't take what his hard and cutting face could do to her. She was breaking inside, and what he would say next would surely make her bleed.

She only let herself break down when she reached the bathroom. She sank on the tiles of The Palace and finally let herself cry a little for herself. She didn't allow it before because she was trying to be strong for him. It would have been selfish. But she wasn't anything if she wasn't selfish. She wasn't Blair. And he wasn't Chuck.

So she leaned against the stall and felt the mascara fall down her eyes. She promised she wouldn't let herself do this again, but here she was. And she knew that beyond a doubt, there was nothing stopping it.

She leaned over and with sudden savageness, thrust her finger down her throat so her bagel and capers came up, scarring her throat because she had to show something for the pain that her heart was causing her. She felt the tears rush from the corners of her eyes as she cried out. She didn't care how much noise she made. It didn't matter. Not anymore.

A piercing pain suddenly shot through her ribs and for a horrific moment, she thought that she had broken them. But she had done this for too long. She knew better. Her body was just punishing her for being so weak and falling for the one person who could never love her back. He had as good as admitted it to her.

She gagged and spit and watched her breakfast streak itself in front of her.

And then she was done.

She sat back, covered in her own metaphysical filth. She was disgusted with herself. She let him resort her to this. But she didn't blame him. She could never fault him for this.

So she just picked herself up and cleaned her hands from Chuck's blood that she was washing herself in. She finally dared to look herself in the mirror. She wished she hadn't. She was surprised the mirror hadn't broken. She swallowed harshly. It had been so long that she felt her very throat breaking.

She clenched her teeth in defiance, refusing to let him do this to her. She took the paper towel that seemed to be waiting for her and she slowly rubbed the excess mascara from underneath her eyes where her stupid, weak tears had deigned grace her features.

She cleansed herself and she left.

And no one would ever have known that she was dying inside.

**Preparation**

_Maybe we should have just left him at The Palace._

_It's his father's funeral. He needs to be here and show his respect._

_Respect? My father wasn't shown much of that in his final days._

_What is he talking about?_

_Who knows? When we found him his shoes were on the wrong feet._

Nate couldn't help but cast blatant stares at her from across the limo. He couldn't help but be impressed with her. She looked so regal and cool when just minutes ago at his doorstep, he could have sworn that she had just reapplied her make-up. She was calm and collected even though she had recruited him to go on a suicide mission. She was stoic even though she was the one who would get hurt the most out of all of this. And yet, she was as in control as ever.

"We don't have to do this," Nate said as they walked through the lobby. She stopped short and he immediately regretted his words at her death glare.

"Of course we do," she snapped. "Do you really think that he'll be able to get to the church by himself? In his condition?"

"I know he's grieving," Nate said, "but he's not dying."

"There's more than one type of condition," Blair said quietly, gliding with deadly poise across the tile. "He is dying. You just can't see it."

Nate couldn't ask how Blair was privy to such information. He couldn't understand how she could just know him with one look. It occurred to him. He just didn't understand them at all.

"Excuse me, miss?"

Blair stopped again, glaring into the eyes of the humorless concierge.

"I'm going to have to ask where you're going."

"You know who I am," she said, not bothering to raise her voice. She didn't need it. "And you know where I'm going. And you're not going to stop us."

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Bass has instructed not to be disturbed."

"Is that so?" Blair sneered. Nate took a minute step back. He knew that Blair would handle this. He had complete faith in her.

"Tell me, Dexter," Blair said with that fake sweetness to her voice. "Are you sending food up to Mr. Bass's room?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

"Not yet," she smiled. "But you will be. Room service. Are you sending anyone up there?"

"Well..."

"Thank you," Blair said viciously. "But just pretend that Nathaniel and I are the room service sluts servicing Mr. Bass. We'll be down just as quickly."

Nate wasn't about to question what he was just referred to as, but followed her obediently. Dexter was just staring after them as they entered the elevator. Blair knew how to get things finished. Especially when it came to Chuck.

"Blair..." Nate said as they approached the door.

"Don't," she warned. "Don't. Say. A word."

Nate could do that. He knocked on the door. He knew immediately as soon as the door opened that it was all wrong. Even while sober, it took minutes for Chuck to saunter to open his door. Instead, a blonde stick stood in the doorway with her sister in the background.

"Get out," Blair snapped.

"What?"

Blair shoved past her into the room, her eyes cruelly advancing on the other. Chuck was no where to be seen but she knew that just meant he was probably passed out on his bed.

"I said get out," Blair said again.

Nate could tell she was near her breaking point. It was the way her expression hardened and her teeth clenched. He knew it was only a matter of time before something disastrous happened.

"Go," he advised her. "I'll take care of it."

"What?" she asked incredulously. He just pushed her gently towards the bathroom.

"You don't have to do this," he assured her. "Just go to the bathroom and I'll get rid of them."

She took a deep breath like she was about to argue. But she took one heartbreaking glance at the twins and slammed the door behind her. As Nate unceremoniously (and highly unprecedented on his part) kicked them out of the room, he pretended like he couldn't hear the dry sobs coming from behind the door.

Again, he was impressed. When she snapped the door open after he knocked, there was no evidence of it. She was just... Blair. She was glaring out in the room. She could almost still see the skanks. But what she couldn't see was him. Nate was by the bar as Blair advanced towards the bed.

At least he was clothed. His pinstriped, black suit that was tailored perfectly just hung off him pitifully in crinkles. He was staring at his feet as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"Chuck?" Nate asked, advancing slowly. When Chuck finally raised his eyes, they were bloodshot and hazy. Blair sighed in defeat. She could never be so angry with him that she couldn't just stop caring. It was too hard. Nate put a hand on Chuck's shoulder. He stiffened under the friendly gesture, not relaxing until Nate had removed it.

Blair just looked from her corner. She didn't want to advance any more. She didn't want to get scalded by his personality or wound him more than he already was. But Nate turned his innocent eyes on her, begging for help. She didn't know why it always had to be her. Nate was just too helpless. She sighed and went to Chuck's other side, her shadow falling over his slumped figure. Nate shot her a glance.

"Your shoes are on the wrong feet," she pointed out instead. Nate shot her another look. It wasn't like she could actually say what was on her mind. Especially with Nate in the room. She exhaled in defeat and kneeled at Chuck's feet.

"Right where I want you."

Blair was sure Nate hadn't heard Chuck's quiet sneer with his fingers at the back of her head, holding her there. She was glad. Nate was too innocent for that. He couldn't know Chuck hit right where he knew it would hurt Blair the most. Right at her sexual insecurities. And for some reason she didn't want Nate to know the things Chuck taught her to do to him. That one night at Cotillion was nothing. She had done things with Chuck that she couldn't even spell. And no one could ever know that. It was private. The strange thing was, no matter how bad he got, she knew Chuck wouldn't tell anyone else either.

So Blair ignored the jab and started unlacing what Chuck had started at his weak attempt to get ready in his inebriated state. She pulled off his expensive dress shoes, revealing his black socks. She prodded his foot so he would lift it and fitted his shoes on the right feet.

Nate couldn't watch. He had the feeling that this was a really private moment between them, no matter how mundane it seemed. It wasn't that it was a metaphor for a sexual act or anything (like he knew what that would look like.) She was just so gentle with him when he was so coarse. Nate couldn't understand that. He cheated on Blair and it took her months to look at him again.

Chuck ripped her apart. He called her things he never should have. He abandoned her in foreign countries. And when it counted most, he sneered at her, never letting her close when it was when he truly needed her and no one else. He shattered her poorly mended heart again and again. And yet... the way she looked at him with adoration and... love, that was just something Nate could only wish that someone would look at him. Blair sure as hell never did. She may have thought that she did, that what they had was real. But he knew different.

A simple look that she would give Chuck said it all. Even when he would purposely and malevolently cut her up, she could never truly stop loving him. Nate didn't know why, but it seemed to him like that was the way it always was. She was always the one to defend him and protect him from Bart. Ironically, at his father's funeral, she was the one who he hurt the most. She just wanted to take care of him. And she knew that he would never even let her.

"Are you going to help me with my pants, too?" he sneered. Blair straightened slowly. Chuck's eyes followed her with only a slight notion of clarity. But it was clarity nonetheless.

"I think you've had plenty of help with that today," Blair said coolly. "You don't need me for that. You never did."

She turned her back on him and Nate was the only one who even saw the moment of vulnerability when Chuck's eyes told him that the hit met its mark. But then his expression was cold again, like it always would be.

Blair had reached the door and turned around. "Well?"

"What?" Chuck asked sharply.

"We're leaving."

It wasn't a request. She didn't request anything anymore. She commanded. Nate held his hand out for Chuck but it was ignored. Nate knew that if he came here alone, he would never have gotten Chuck out of the room successfully. But if Blair came alone, there would be a double homicide in the form of the room service twins and Chuck and Blair never would have made it to the service anyway.

Chuck wasn't moving. Nate held out his hand again. Chuck turned angry eyes on him but Nate didn't pull away this time. He took Chuck by the shoulders and tried hoisting him up.

Chuck squirmed away, falling on his back. Nate looked up at Blair's impatient heels tapping across the carpeted floor as she approached.

"We have to go, Chuck," she said monotonously. He turned his eyes on her as if to say _make me_.

"Fine," Blair said icily, as though meeting his silent challenge. She wrapped her arm around his waist and hauled him out of his bed. He let her. It was becoming obvious to Nate that Chuck didn't want his best friend to help him. He wanted someone else entirely.

He leaned across Blair's shoulders, his face in the crook if her neck. Blair wished that there weren't chills causing her raised flesh. It was just wrong that the scent of concentrated alcohol and the way his hot breath caressed her skin still made her want him. It wasn't right at all.

Even if she did allow him liberties of how he touched her when she dragged him out of the elevator. It may not have been fair to her, but it sure as hell wasn't fair to him either.

They passed through the lobby and Blair shot the concierge a look. Chuck didn't look at anyone. He couldn't anymore. Blair opened the door and looked at Chuck expectantly.

"You first."

"No," she said shortly and pushed him in the car. Nate stopped before getting in. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Blair."

"Don't be," she replied. "If this is the way he wants it, its the way he's going to get it. You know him. He hates to lose."

"It's not fair to you."

"It never was."

Nate was about to follow Chuck. He almost had his foot in the car when he saw Chuck's dark eyes. They were looking at him with a pointedness that Nate wasn't sure that Chuck could pull off at the moment. And it was even obvious to Nate what Chuck wanted. Nate paused.

"What?" Blair asked shortly. Her nerves were frayed even at this point in the day.

"Ladies first," Nate said off the top of his head. Even in Chuck's state, he knew that it wouldn't take very much for him to take Nate down. Blair got in without another word. Usually what Chuck wanted, Blair wanted it too. For most days.

They were halfway there when Chuck's head started to droop. Blair tried to ignore the way his thigh was touching hers but it was proving more difficult by the second with his body heat like that. Blair looked suspiciously at him and sighed.

"What?" Nate asked. Blair wordlessly reached into Chuck's jacket and retrieved the angular red bottle of alcohol. Chuck's hand suddenly shot out and caught her wrist.

"Don't."

"You don't have the right anymore, Chuck," Blair told him. "You made sure of that."

For anyone else, Chuck wouldn't have given a damn. But he reluctantly let his grip loosen to Blair could slide her wrist out of his harsh grasp. Blair gave the bottle to Nate to stow under the seat. Chuck could just get it later, but she wanted him to be as sober as he could during the actual service.

Chuck didn't like letting her go. The warmth of her wrist was comforting. He could remember the times when she would get slight abrasions from the way he would grab them and pin them above her head.

Chuck didn't break the eye contact.

"We're here."

"Blair," Nate said, breaking her away from Chuck's hot eyes. He had opened the door.

"Come on, Chuck," Blair said, climbing out as well. It was obvious that he wasn't moving. Blair groaned and reached into the car, pulling Chuck out by his shoulders. He was swaying and she knew it would take a lot for them to actually reach the church.

"Maybe we should have just left him at The Palace," Nate advised.

But Blair just couldn't agree with him.

**Single Malt**

_Chuck, remember how you used to help yourself to the decanter in the Captain's library?_

_When I first got my taste for a single malt._

_That's right. And you'd have to go home to a four course dinner without passing out in your consommé. _

_I didn't want my father to think less of me._

Blair didn't like it. She didn't like being here and she sure as hell didn't like having to look after her boyfriend's drunk as hell best friend. Blair crossed her legs in annoyance in the Captain's chair. Nate was hovering over his best friend with worry as Chuck was leaning against the stacks.

"This is good stuff," Chuck murmured, knocking back another one.

"Chuck, just put it down," Nate said apprehensively. "My dad could be home any minute."

The things she did for love. She watched in disgust at how her loving boyfriend could converse with such... Bassness.

"Wipe that face off your head," Chuck slurred, glowering at Blair.

"Why?" she sneered. "I'm not the one who's downing all of the Captain's single malt."

"Have some," Chuck said, handing out the bottle. Blair turned her nose up at it.

"No thank you. But when I have the inclination to lose half my brain cells, I'll let you know."

"Duly noted."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Don't be so quick to dismiss, Waldorf," Chuck said. "One day you might not mind me so much."

"That will be the same day that I strip for you," Blair snapped.

"I will wait anxiously for that day."

Blair looked to Nate for help but he was being useless as usual.

"What time is it?" Blair asked pointedly. Nate looked at his watch and started.

"Chuck," Nate said. "Aren't you supposed to be at dinner?"

Chuck murmured noncommittally, knocking back some more.

"Good God, Chuck," Blair snapped. She rose from the chair and knelt beside him, pulling at his arms.

"Waldorf," he slurred. "Your stockings look especially delectable from this point of view."

"Ugh," Blair said with disgust. "You so owe me."

"Why?" Chuck asked. "What are we doing?"

* * *

The door opened and Blair smiled as cordially as she could. Bart's cool glance stared down at the three of them, Blair subtly supporting practically all of Chuck's weight with her arm wrapped around his waist while Nate's shoulder was behind his in case he fell. Blair had strategically planned this. Though she was hoping they had a little more time.

"Fire the maid again, Father?" Chuck asked with dictation. Blair was just glad Chuck had practice and could at least sound somewhat sober in a crisis.

"Charles," Bart said monotonously. "When I say I want you home by dinner, that means actually at dinner."

"What can I say?" Chuck asked as Blair with practiced ease, helped Chuck into the foyer without an notice from his father. She hoped. "It makes us feel more like a family when I cause family drama. And how was I supposed to know? You're home about four weeks out of the year."

"That is why when I tell you we are having dinner, I expect you to show." He eyed Nate with distate. "And not with an entourage."

"It's not my fault," Chuck said. "She's simply infatuated with me. I don't know how to cut her loose." Blair prodded him savagely in the ribs. He flinched minutely, but held back. He was used to it.

"Yes, of course," Bart said, finished glaring at Chuck's best friend. "Blair. I hope your mother's doing well."

"I wouldn't know," Blair replied. "She's only home four weeks out of the year."

Bart smirked at her pointedness.

"Why don't you join us?" Bart asked. "Your mother's endeavors seem quite interesting and it seems my son can't get around without you holding his hand."

Blair didn't smother her laughter. At moments like this, she could see where Chuck got his snark. She cast a covert look over her shoulder at her boyfriend who was standing there awkwardly. It was obvious this was not an open invitation.

"I guess I'll see you later, Nate," Blair said, not knowing what else to say in this sort of situation.

"Goodbye, Nathaniel," Chuck said, not bothering to look. He would probably lose his balance. Blair helped him smoothly through the house, hearing the door signaling Nate's departure.

The dining room was decadent. Blair had been here enough times to know this would be the only time it was in use. Usually Chuck would just go to The Palace and order room service. Blair had been there enough times to know that as well.

Chuck slumped into the chair at the dinner table, perfectly contrasting to Blair next to him, prim and proper, her legs crossed underneath the chair. The dinner was full of small conversation which Chuck diligently ignored. Blair prodded him again, causing his back to stiffen, looking more proper than he was. This did not escape Bart's attention but his reaction escaped Blair and Chuck's.

"Excuse me," Blair said after a few minutes. "I should probably go call Dorota and tell her that she won't have to make me dinner."

She rose form the table, taking her purse with her. Bart watched his son's eyes follow her as she left for the other room. When Chuck thought about it, Blair's life was actually quite sad. Almost as sad as his was. She never let on, but he knew exactly what it was like to be so lonely.

"She's quite a nice girl," Bart said thoughtfully.

"I suppose..." Chuck said suspiciously. His head was still spinning but his father was paying him attention so he tried his best.

"I should like to see you acquainting yourself with more people like her instead of that Archibald you hang around with."

"You do know that Blair is dating Nate," Chuck said.

"No one's perfect."

Chuck didn't like it when Bart would pointedly and awkwardly tell him things of that nature. Especially when it seemed that he was telling him to betray his best friend. He of course would never do that. Even if they broke up. Even if... but even as Chuck thought about it, it would really depend on the circumstances. He really had to stop this strange habit about having vivid and inappropriate fantasies of his best friend's girl. He could make her uncomfortable with innuendos, but he couldn't be seriously thinking about the ways that she would--

"Everything's fine," Blair said, returning. "For once Dorota can sit back and watch her DVDs of _The OC_ that she keeps hidden and doesn't think I know about."

Bart smiled warmly and chills ran up Chuck's spine. He had never seen that expression on his father's face ever. It was quite unsettling.

"I am quite impressed with your mother's business," Bart said. "She's built this company of hers practically from the ground up. It is quite difficult to do that."

Blair smiled tightly, but didn't let on. That didn't mean that Chuck didn't know. He bent over his bowl of soup, acutely aware that Blair was putting on her society face so no one knew how truly hard it was for her to know that her mother had put her business above being a mother. She left those responsibilities to Harold. And as sweet as Blair's father was, he didn't know how to parent at all. It was a wonder that Blair was a scheming and manipulative bitch. She had no father or mother figure. The only one she had to talk to was Chuck. Serena could never understand. That was the real reason that they understood each other so much.

Chuck wasn't aware that he was leaning so far over his soup. Getting his first taste of alcohol was cumbersome. This was the point of the night where sleep seemed more appealing than actually sitting up straight and not falling head first into his dinner.

That's when he felt it. Something to definitely shake him from his haze. He looked down and sure enough, there it was. What he was certain he would never feel. Blair's perfectly manicured hand was residing plainly on his thigh like it was meant to be there all along.

Chuck angled his head with a lecherous smirk. She wasn't looking at him but was in deep conversation with his father. When Chuck began slumping back in his chair from pure exhaustion her hand slid farther up his thigh. He sat up straight in his chair. His father gave him a strange look but didn't say anything.

Chuck hated being in the dark. Blair's motives didn't make any sense unless she was as drunk as he was because that was the only way he could ever conceive that she would get with him. Chuck reached over the table. His wrist hit his spoon clumsily as the liquid from his bowl flecked the table cloth.

That's when he realized her motives. Her nails turned ugly as she dug them right into his thigh where he was suddenly really wishing her hand wasn't.

"Charles," Bart said at Chuck's sudden groan.

"He's just tired," Blair said pleasantly, not letting his thigh go from her death grip. Chuck gritted his teeth, glaring at her.

"You don't mind if Chuck excuses himself from the fourth course, do you, Mr. Bass?" Blair smiled prettily. "I know he would want to be well rested for school tomorrow."

Normally, this would never have worked. Bart was a very smart man but somehow, Chuck couldn't get it out of his head how he let Blair Waldorf play him. It was very strange and he didn't like how his father had a soft spot for some chick and not for his own son.

Nevertheless, he let Blair pull him from his seat and practically drag him towards his room. Even so, when he was in such a close proximity as her supporting his weight as they descended the staircase, he let himself get a little lost in her scent. He had been with a lot of women, and no one ever smelled like her.

In the middle of his reverie, he was suddenly on his back and he realized that they had indeed reached his room and Blair had unceremoniously thrown him on his bed.

"I knew you had to have me," he said, his head whirling from the sudden physical activity.

"Don't flatter yourself," Blair sneered.

"I don't know if you remember, but it was you who was feeling me up under the table where my father was right across from us. What would dear Nathaniel think?"

"Well it worked," Blair said unrepentantly.

"If you mean that it worked to sufficiently turn me on, then yes, it worked swimmingly."

Blair rolled her eyes. "You were going to implicate yourself, Bass. I was just using your own weakness so Bart didn't know how smashed you are."

"Oh, he knew," Chuck said. "He just likes you more than me."

"No," Blair shook her head. "He just likes you more when I'm around. It makes you seem more responsible."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm the only woman on the Upper East Side that you haven't slept with."

"Yet," Chuck allowed.

"No, never," Blair said. "You respect me too much."

"Please," Chuck scoffed. "I don't respect women."

"Then why am I the only woman to be up here and not get jumped by you?"

"You're the only woman to ever come up here," he said quietly.

Blair didn't answer. He didn't have to explain. Bart was never home so he never really had a reason to leave his suite. She took a seat next to him.

"Don't you dare pity me," he snapped suddenly.

"Pity you?" Blair smiled bitterly. "How can I pity you? I don't even have a reason to. My life's not that much better."

"You have Nate," Chuck supplied.

She finally smiled. "So do you."

"I don't know," Chuck said. "Not for long. At least, not after he finds out that you came up here to my room."

"Excuse me?"

"Maybe not," Chuck shrugged. "Maybe he'll forgive me. After all, how could I resist the wiles of Blair Waldorf? It's you he won't forgive when he finds out that you seduced me in my own house."

Blair lightly shoved Chuck's face away has he laughed lightly. Blair smiled secretively. Chuck didn't really laugh. He sneered and smirked at how weak women were. He didn't laugh. At least, he didn't unless he was with her.

"You're disgusting."

"I never said I wasn't."

Blair didn't like awkward silences. She didn't like awkward silences especially when she was in her boyfriend's best friend's room. Alone. With him. She felt guilty and she had no idea why. She had this feeling like she was betraying Nate when she was just helping him not get caught by his father.

"I should go," Blair said abruptly, rising from where she was sitting too intimately close to Chuck. He eyed her strangely.

"Aren't you going to help me get dressed for bed?" he asked lecherously.

"Goodnight, Chuck," she said instead, smirking.

"Goodnight, Blair," he said back.

Blair really hadn't considered what it would be like sneaking out of the house. She wasn't used to evading the parents. Hers just let her do whatever she wanted. If she wanted to go and get drunk at some burlesque bar and perform a strip tease, it wouldn't really matter.

Blair walked towards the door before realizing that Bart was still in the house.

"I assume my son is sleeping off his inebriation," Bart said. Blair turned to face him.

"Either that or he's sneaking out the window to get laid," Blair replied. Bart smiled at her again.

"Usually acquaintances of my son try and cover for him."

"I don't doubt how much you know about your son," Blair replied. "You're not stupid. And by acquaintances, I assume that you're referring to Nate."

"What makes you say that?"

"Nate is the only friend that Chuck ever trusts. The rest are just fillers."

"He trusts you."

"And what makes you say that?" Blair asked.

"You're the one who went to lengths to make sure that I didn't know what he was doing tonight. You made sure he didn't drown in his own vomit and made sure he got to sleep before he could poison himself with alcohol."

"Chuck needs attention," Blair replied. "He needs to be validated and cared for. A lot of people don't realize that beneath his smarmy and vile exterior."

"What are you insinuating?" Bart asked.

"I'm not insinuating anything," Blair said. "I am telling you that you need to pay more attention to your son. One day it might be too late."

"This is why I like you better than Nathaniel," Bart smiled. "You're not afraid of me."

"Someone can't be," Blair retorted. "And what's so bad about Nate?"

"I know my son's potential," Bart replied. "He might think I don't care, as, apparently, you do as well, but I see him. He can do better than Nate. He's smarter. Smart enough to make friends with you and not violate you. He needs someone who won't back down from him but care for him at the same time."

"Why does it seem like we're not talking about best friends anymore?" Blair asked warily. There were rare moments when she felt it. Chuck would look at her in a certain way or they would just see each other and know they were thinking the exact same thing. She loved Nate. But there was something about Chuck that Blair knew if she let herself, she could be completely seduced by. Seduced by the devil. And that was something she had to look out for.

"Thank you for taking care of my son tonight," Bart said instead. "I hope to see more of you."

Blair left the house and she knew that Bart saw her more clearly than her own mother did. And maybe he was the only one who would actually admit the truth of what he truly saw.

And that scared the living hell out of her.


	43. Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou Part II

**A/N**: Not as angsty as the last chapter, but not exactly happy either. It is 2x13 after all. Things get a lot more interesting from here on out. Another thing about the reviews I've been getting. There are some requests for future chapters but I can't take them. All of Season 2 is already written, I'm just posting them now.

**Summary**: "I must say, Waldorf, one day, you're going to have to tell your beloved boyfriend our feelings for each other. You wouldn't want him to walk in on us have wild and passionate sex in my limo."

**Disclaimer**: Quotes don't belong to me because if they did, I wouldn't try and rip out Chair lovers' hearts with angst (but yay, its back tonight.)

* * *

**Drunk**

_Chuck. Am I going to have to stick my finger down your throat? Nate'll hold back your hair... What?_

_Nothing, Blair. You had me and then you lost me._

Blair really should have assumed that this would happen sooner or later. To be quite frank, Nate wasn't that smart and Chuck really did need a special sort of care. The care where you didn't let him practically inhale all of the Vicodin and scotch that The Palace had to offer.

"What were you thinking, Nate?" Blair demanded, storming into the suite. Nate had seemed to lose all ability to speak. His light blue eyes were wide with fear and she suddenly knew that it was more dangerous than he had let on when they spoke on the phone.

That's when she found him. He was on his back sprawled against the tile. Time seemed to slow infuriatingly as she saw Chuck Bass fading. Then it sped back up to make for the time lost. Blair immediately went into crisis mode and she knew exactly what to do.

She slammed the bathroom door behind her, blocking Nate out of the equation. He just complicated things. She immediately grabbed Chuck by his shoulders, hauling him into a sitting position. His breathing was at least steady against her hair. That didn't mean that after she saved him from OD-ing on whatever the hell it was that he took, that she wouldn't sufficiently and thoroughly castrate him for scaring the living hell out of her.

It wasn't like Chuck was attempting to kill himself or anything. He just liked to party just like he liked his sex. Hard. Especially after one absent father of his decided to tell him that he would always be a disappointment. Maybe it was a mistake inviting Nate over for a drink (or several hundred.) He really should have been planning ahead should something like this occur. (It wasn't the first time.)

But as soon as he smelled that familiar, alluring, and downright sexy scent, (that he would never admit he thought about) he knew he was safe. Someone who actually knew that she was doing was going to take care of him. He liked it like that. Especially when she was cradling his head in her lap.

"Come on," Blair said, slightly worried that actual concern was seeping into her voice. Chuck didn't miss much. She clutched his chin in her hand, forcing him to look into her eyes. They just rolled to the back of his head as it lolled to the side.

"Chuck," she said hurriedly. "This will be devastatingly gross, but I will do it if I have to. Chuck!"

If he was sober, he definitely would have leaned in to whisper huskily in her ear how much he loved it when she yelled his name and the gross things she could do to him. But right now, the only thing that was keeping him above water was the scent that he was holding desperately onto.

"Do I have to stick my finger down your throat?" she demanded. His head fell against her shoulder again and she took that as an affirmation. Swallowing back her disgust, she leaned him over he porcelain bowl and thrust her fingers down his throat with practiced ease. She just wasn't that used to putting them down other peoples' throats.

Chuck coughed violently as he gagged against her touch. He wasn't used to it.

"What are you doing?" he asked groggily. At least he was gaining consciousness.

"Saving you," Blair snapped. "Now shut up and let me do it."

Knowing that this was as far as he would ever get with the ethereal Blair Waldorf, he let her violate him with her fingers (God, he wished that was as dirty as it sounded.)

He felt the bile rise as he coughed and spat everything he had consumed that day.

"Okay, stop," he said hoarsely. She hadn't stopped for a half hour. It was exhausting, not to mention painful. She wouldn't let up. It didn't occur to him that this meant she simply wanted him to be okay. Maybe she just wanted to torture him.

"What else did you take?" she asked, ignoring his request.

"Well its kind of hard to tell you with your fingers down my throat," he snapped.

She pulled back, his voice assurance enough that he wasn't going to die. At least not today. Instead, in a rare moment of tenderness, she let Chuck rest against her. She pushed his hair back, the propriety of her lifestyle making another appearance.

Nate heard Chuck vomiting in the bathroom. He didn't know how long it was, but he really didn't have the heart to go in. He just would have gotten in the way. He knew that was why Blair had slammed the door behind her. It wasn't that she didn't care about him. It was just that she had to care more about Chuck. He was the one that was dying... right?

But as soon as the vomiting had ceased, Nate couldn't take it. He gently eased the bathroom door open to see something he wished he could take back. Blair's eyes were closed, her back against the wall as Chuck's head lay against her lap, his eyes also closed. She was absentmindedly stroking his hair like it was the most natural thing in the world and Nate couldn't understand it.

He stepped away. For some reason, he felt as though he were intruding in some private moment that he shouldn't even be present at. Last time he checked, Blair was _his_ girlfriend. Wasn't she? She never held him or stroked him (in ways he sometimes wished that she would, but she was a Waldorf, and Waldorfs apparently weren't bred to please their boyfriends.)

The more time he spent with her, the more cold and hard she got. She would glare at him sometimes only when he was innocently talking to Serena. But Blair couldn't know about the secret feelings he harbored for her that he only told Chuck about, could she? And Chuck was his best friend. He would never sell him out like that... would he?

Still, he backed from the door, confused as ever about the inner workings of Blair's complicated mind. Nothing about her made sense anymore. It didn't make sense when he found out that she and Chuck would just hang out for no reason at all. It didn't make sense how he would ask Chuck advice about his own relationship and Chuck would give him exactly what he needed, like he knew more about his girlfriend than Nate did.

So he backed away, knowing it was safer in blissful ignorance than it was in the confusing world of Chuck and Blair.

"I really hate you," Blair said, not realizing that the door had opened and closed abruptly, "you know that?"

"I can tell." His drowsy voice drifted up to her smugly.

"You could have died."

"I didn't," he relied simply. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," she said firmly, as though trying to convince even herself.

"Admit it," he muttered into her clothing, "you have a soft spot for me."

"I do not," she protested.

"You do," Chuck replied. "You know that a part of you would die if you found me perishing form alcohol poisoning."

"You are amazingly self assured."

"I know."

Blair couldn't help the small and relieved smile at his antics and recovery that crossed her face.

"Fine," she said. "Just don't do it again."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said. "I wouldn't want to fret with worry. I must say, Waldorf, one day, you're going to have to tell your beloved boyfriend our feelings for each other. You wouldn't want him to walk in on us have wild and passionate sex in my limo."

"You wish."

"You mean you do want him to see us having sex?" he smirked. "Kinky."

"Shut up," she shoved him lightly. He let her. But only because he liked his position being held by her. He never let himself get this close to women. Not emotionally. But Blair wasn't a woman. Or she wasn't just a woman. She was just Blair. And with her around, nothing could touch him. Not even the cold and icy hands of death.

"You could have died, you know," she gently reminded him again.

"So I've heard."

"I'm glad you didn't, though," she said thoughtfully.

"As I perceived."

"Yes," she said. "This way I can castrate you for scaring me senseless."

Despite that frightening revelation, Chuck couldn't help the warmth spread through his empty stomach. When it came to Blair, he knew that she was just admitting what he already knew. She cared about him.

**Turning Back**

_Please don't turn away from the people that love you. They're the only chance that any of us has._

Chuck's eyes narrowed at the light of the fire charing the papers beautifully as he threw them away. He glared into the fireplace as the flames danced as wickedly as his verbal barbs, her face falling at his four syllables.

He didn't miss the tears that had streaked her face but he knew for a fact that she was completely unaware of his own tears that had gathered behind his eyes that he only let fall as he slammed the limo door behind him. Men didn't cry. That was Bart's philosophy. Basses didn't cry. They especially didn't cry over Blair Waldorf and one ill timed love proclamation. One that he wished he could so desperately have returned.

But in any case, there were those two sentences that he couldn't get out of his head. He hated Lily. He hated for what she had done to his father, what she had done to him. She was making him weak by being the only person who could really tell him the truth. Telling him to go. Go and don't look back because it was where he was meant to be.

He knew that she really didn't know what she was actually saying. She didn't know how it was applying to him and how it hurt him the most. She didn't know that "the people who love you" was really only "person who loves you" which turns into "girl who so desperately loves and wants you so much to love her back" which is so obviously "Blair Waldorf." Lily doesn't see. She doesn't even see. But for the first time since he could remember, Chuck could see clearly. He could see where he was going and he wasn't looking back. If he did, he would falter.

The lights shone through the top floor of the penthouse. And he was walking. It was as though his legs knew before his brain where he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be walking into the elevator and pressing the top floor. He was supposed to be walking across the tiles. And he was supposed to be stricken by the way she looked in that silky white dress.

Everyone was so happy. He didn't know that Eleanor was getting married that night. He knew he was selfish and self centered. But then again, so was she.

Everything revolved around him and his father's death. It hadn't occurred to him that other people could be living their lives, moving on. It hadn't occurred to him that she could love him just because she loved him. Not for selfish reasons like him, but just unconditionally be in love with him, no matter how inconceivable the notion was.

"Mr. Chuck."

Eleanor _would_ make her maid a bridesmaid. But he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the beauty who was drinking down the flute of champagne. The one that was crying. And for the first time, it wasn't because of him.

He didn't answer when he turned his gaze on Dorota. He just looked and she knew what had to be done. She led him quietly upstairs where no one noticed him because of the festivities. For the first time that he could remember in his life, he was glad that he wasn't noticed. He didn't think that he could stand their pity.

He walked into the familiar room with Dorota looking at him expectantly. He didn't know if she wanted him to do something or act a certain way. All he could do was stare at the room that he realized he missed. He missed the smell and even the Audrey Hepburn portrait on her wall. He missed her silk sheets.

He sat on her bed. He knew Dorota had left him to himself. He didn't know what he was expecting her to do. All he wanted was her. He wanted to be safe again and he had realized that the only time that had ever happened was when he was with her. When her voice purred soothingly in his ear and he felt more at home than when he was ever with Bart.

It was obvious now. Bart wasn't his family. It was her. It was always her. It was always Blair.

"What do you think you're doing here?"

The clicking of her heels alerted him to her presence before he heard her voice. He didn't know what was supposed to happen here. He would just show up and all was forgiven? The truth of the matter was, her presence was enough for him. Maybe she could never forgive him, but he just wanted the chance. He loved her too damn much.

He looked slowly up at her. She was even more transcendent up close. Her dress hugged her like a second skin and he wanted to feel it. He wanted to feel her. He wanted to feel her loving him so she could save him.

His breath shuddered and only when he felt the track of moisture did he realize he was crying. And only when he looked away and felt her arms wrap suddenly around him did he feel loved.

He was stunned. From her expression, he was sure they were done. For good this time. She had said it before, but he always found his way back to her. He hurt her. He burned her. He wounded her. He wasn't supposed to be in her comforting arms. But he was anyway and that he was thankful for.

He registered her warmth and his hand found hers. He clutched her close, knowing it was the only thing that was keeping him from sinking, keeping him from drowning. He held her painfully close until the tears of his labor began exhausting him. He didn't want to leave. He don't think he could ever leave her again.

He felt her pushing him down across her bed. It was the first time he had slept since the accident. And he did it from the safety of her arms.

**Note**

_I'm sorry for everything_

_You deserve much better_

_Don't come looking for me_

_-Chuck_

At first, he had no idea where he was. For the first .002 seconds. It was dark and the sheets beneath him definitely weren't his. For a horrific moment, he thought he was in some chick's bed. Then he inhaled and relief washed over him. She always had that effect on him when he could just bury his noise in her silky locks and be completely safe in her scent. The scent that was all over him now. The scent in the sheets.

When his eyes finally adjusted to the dark, he thought that the last thing he remembered was being pulled into a loving embrace. Love.

If he had just stayed asleep, the first sleep he had peacefully in forever, maybe she could have kept him. But he didn't want to imprison her. He wanted her to be free; to have someone who wouldn't hurt her continually. Not some broken shell of someone who barely passed as a human who could make her cry without thinking twice.

It was incredibly selfish of him to come here. But no one said that Chuck Bass was never selfish. He was Chuck Bass. But he understood now. After she held him and was the only person to see the tracks of despair slide down his face, he couldn't be here anymore. It would be a one sided excuse for a relationship. It would always be her who carried him. He couldn't take care of her when he was so broken. And he knew that he would never be good enough.

Sitting up in the bed that was the definition of heaven for him and that he never wanted to leave, he knew he had to. Staring down at the silhouette of transcendent perfection, he knew that he never deserved to have her in the first place. But he took her, only asking her permission when he should have known. She didn't know any better. He would just keep hurting her and that was worse than watching his father being lowered into the ground. At least she was close enough that he could smell her.

But for the moment, he just let himself stare down at her moonlit features that would never be any less than perfect to him. Before he could stop himself, he brushed her hair from her face. She stirred, a slight smile crossing her features.

And he knew then that he had to leave. She didn't belong to him. He couldn't smell her anymore, taste her anymore, feel her anymore. He couldn't love her anymore. She had to have known that his sick and twisted show of emotions meant exactly that. Nothing had changed since his father's wedding last spring besides the fact that his father now lay six feet under. He still loved Blair and that would never change.

That was exactly the reason that he had to leave. She would understand one day. And if she hated him for the rest of her life, or his short lived excuse for an existence, it was all the better. She would stay far away from him and he wouldn't kill her like he killed everyone else he dared to love. She wouldn't be his mother who lay rotting by merely carrying him. She wouldn't be marred by some freak accident that left a PI alive because she had to listen to his voice and go where he asked and do what he asked. He wouldn't ask her of that anymore. He wouldn't let her love him anymore because it would surely kill her.

He reluctantly extricated himself from her tight little embrace. His flesh brushed against her white silk and he wished he could spasm pleasurably from her just one last time. He couldn't remember the last time that she lay beneath him, marking him as her territory with her manicured talons raking down his back. And he wore those scars with honor.

She exhaled a little more heavily when he slid off the edge of the bed. He could just leave. He could just leave and he would only be a memory. She wouldn't come looking for him because he could be dead for all she knew. And he could be so cruel that she wouldn't even want to come looking for him.

But she deserved more than that. She was Blair Waldorf, the one person that made him a better person and the one person that he could never touch again. She was the epitome of everything he needed that would save him, that would love him. But she couldn't catch him from this downward spiral that threatened his very life. Maybe it would be easier for her if he just stopped existing. But he knew that she would hunt him down to the afterlife so a simple note would do.

He knew where she kept her stationary. He knew everything about her. He knew that she loved him and it would be that love that she would never forgive him for. He felt for her pen in the darkness, knowing that if he lit the room, she could very well stop him from leaving. She would sit up and look at him in the imploringly and seemingly innocent way that she did. He didn't know how she continued to look so angelic when he knew that on the inside, she was just as greedy and beautiful as he was.

It would stop him. She probably wouldn't even have to say anything. She would just stare at him with those demanding eyes of hers and he would obediently crawl back into her bed with her. She would hold him tight and he knew that he could never leave her side.

That was why this was for the best. He scrawled the three perfect lines. Apologies, compliments, and one final demand. He knew that if he didn't say not to, she of course would scour the earth for him and that was just another thing that he couldn't have. She needed to know how desperately he regretted leaving her, but he was saving her. She would understand that. Maybe not in the morning or months from now, but when he had her 2.5 kids with Mr. Knight in Shining Armor with a white picket fence and maybe even a dog, she would thank him. She would be grateful that he let her go so she could move on and not be secured forever by the toxic tendrils of his all encompassing love that he would never be able to escape.

He signed his name and placed it on the pillow next to her face. Who else would it be, but she needed to know that without a doubt, this was how things were going to be and there was no alternative.

He couldn't help but sinking on the bed, feeling her deep breaths against his face for one last time. He kissed her ear tenderly, knowing that come morning, it would have been like he wasn't even there. He slid of her shoes as he glared accusingly at his own. Maybe if they were off, he wouldn't have the strength to put them back on to leave her. He could barely put them on the right feet this morning without her patient assistance.

He untucked the blanket and pulled it over her. Without his body, something had to be there to warm her. Even if it was the scalding material of hellfire.

He knew that by the time she awoke to find him gone, the only thing to remind her of his presence would be the note. The only thing remaining would be his scent embedded in her blankets and she would have no knowledge of the_ I love you_ whispered into the night.


	44. In the Realm of the Basses Part I

**A/N**: This is less of Chuck angst but... its still season two so deal with it.

**Summary**: He had alienated her and anyone that he cared about. And as he took his seat in the apparent aircraft, he realized that if she was by his side, holding his hand or breathing comfort into his ear, he might be alright.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine.

**

* * *

**

**Thailand**

_He was probably thinking about you the entire time he was gone._

_Not unless I was a Thai hooker named Bo._

It was late. She didn't expect him to be well versed on time zones, not that it mattered. It wasn't a big deal anyway. She was up. Nowadays, she was always up. Whenever she went to sleep, she dreamed. She dreamed of him and his beautiful smirk and voice. And she dreamed of him leaving her over and over again. And over. And over. And over--

"Miss Blair."

Blair looked to see Dorota in her robe standing in the doorway. Blair hadn't even changed for bed. She could barely even look at her bed anymore. She couldn't come into close proximity because his scent couldn't seem to be scrubbed from the linens, scrubbed from her flesh. Scrubbed from her soul. Everything reminded her of him and she hated it.

Dorota was still standing there, alerted by the vibration on her vanity. She walked over, about to pick up the phone.

"Don't," Blair snapped. She almost winced at how shrill her own voice sounded. Just the mere illusion that it could be him made her shaky and needy. Dorota dropped it immediately, looking at her mistress with a mix of fear and worry.

"It's fine. Goodnight, Dorota," she said pointedly. Her maid (and now best friend since Serena thought it was fun to disappear to Buenos Aires when her best friend was having a meltdown) retreated from the room quickly.

Blair glared at her shaking phone as though it were him. It could be him if she wanted it to be. Like he had any excuse to do that to her. She would have taken care of him. If only he knew.

By the sound of her ringtone, she knew it was about to go to voicemail. A stronger woman would have let it and erased the drunken ramblings that would be difficult to decipher anyway. A stronger woman would have just pulled out the battery. The thing about Chuck Bass was that he made you weak. And within weakness, Blair found the strength to pick up the phone at the last available second and pressed the green send button. And she listened.

It felt like an eternity but she knew that he was there. It was the first and only time he had ever tried to contact her and she knew it. If he had something of value to say, he would say it. Otherwise, he was just wasting her time. That didn't mean that she didn't like the sound of his haggard breathing on the other line. It didn't take a genius to realize that he was trashed. Maybe he would actually tell the truth now.

"You picked up."

His raspy drawl just further proved her point how wasted he was. Then again, he probably wouldn't have scrolled clumsily through his contacts to find her at the top if he wasn't completely loaded. Ah, romance.

She still couldn't find it in herself to say anything of value. Here he was pretending that everything was alright when it clearly was not.

She found the will to. She heard it in the background. She didn't need to speak the obviously foreign language to know that he was with a woman. Most likely several. And she wanted to scratch their eyes out.

"And you called while in the company of who knows what," Blair snapped. "Touching. I am so glad that I am fortunate enough to be blessed with a call from a drunk and high Chuck Bass. What did do to receive such an honor?"

"I missed your voice."

And she stopped. She couldn't do this. She couldn't pretend to be mad at him when she really wasn't. She was frightened. She didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Or who. And it hurt.

"Stop this," she whispered.

He didn't reply. She looked down at her phone to see the timer still going. He hadn't hung up. She didn't know what he was doing, though.

She heard a definite female speaking again. It wasn't in any language she could understand but then again, Chuck could always understand things that weren't clear to others.

"Her name's Bo," he replied. "At least... I think it is. I was still reeling from the last opium haze when she told me in her language."

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly. "Why are you telling me this?"

Silence again.

"When are you coming back?" Blair finally asked. The loaded question.

"I'm not," he said coldly.

"Then what the hell are you doing?" Blair asked, finally getting angry. "What is this? Why are you calling me? You can't put this on me."

"I told you," he slurred slightly. "I missed your voice."

"Don't I feel treasured," she spat as she felt the tears come for the first time.

"Don't cry over me," he said seriously. He knew. He always knew.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked weakly. "Do you want me to be angry with you? Scream at you?"

"I just wanted to hear you," he said.

"It's New Year's Eve, Chuck," she told him. She didn't know why, it just didn't seem like it without him here. He was always the one in the middle of the party, attracting attention to himself. It was his time.

"I know," he answered.

"You know?" she said in disbelief. "You're so inebriated you probably don't even know where you are."

"It was always your favorite time," he responded. "Not Christmas or Thanksgiving but New Year's. A time for new beginnings."

"Well you saw to that," Blair couldn't help but saying venomously.

"Do you want to know where I am?" he asked huskily.

"Stop it, Chuck," she told him. She knew what he was doing. And she knew it would work.

"Well don't you?"

"No."

"Yes you do," he said. "Even now I can tell."

"Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose of running away?" she asked coolly.

"No," he said. "You wouldn't come looking for me. And do you know why? Because I asked you not to. And you always do what I ask you to."

"Stop," she pleaded softly.

"Don't you know when I'm driving into them, I wish it was you?" he asked cruelly. Blair clapped a hand over her mouth so he couldn't hear her cries. "They all blend together, but they're not you. They're never you."

"You can't say these things to me," she bit out. "It's not fair."

"I know, baby," he said condescendingly. "I know."

She didn't know how far gone he was. He never called her that. But he wasn't Chuck anymore. Chuck was gone. Her Chuck was gone. And now she was too.

"Was that all you had to say to me?" Blair asked, trying to be strong, wiping her tears away. "Or was there anything more hurtful you thought you could come up with?"

"That was it," he said. "I just wanted to hear you."

Blair groaned out tearful frustration at those repeated words. "Goodnight, Chuck."

She hung up before she let herself hear him.

"Be seeing you."

**First Day**

_I didn't want to miss the first day of school. Oh, it looks like I already did._

_That's the only reason you came here? Not because you had something to tell me?_

_Like what?_

_You know like what._

The entire time he was riding through the limo, he was sure there was someone next to him. Someone who was familiar, but not familiar enough. Not someone who he had hoped it was despite his best efforts to keep her away.

He must have still been under the delusions of kicking Opium because he heard French being called to him through a tinted window right before being hauled out by his shoulders by strong hands.

And there she was. He had spent the last month dreaming about her in endless drug hazes but there she was. Then again, he was sure he was just hallucinating again. Even if she was more real than ever. Her red winter coat she donned to the way her dark hair curled past her shoulders. It was just as shiny as he had remembered, but better.

The thing was that this couldn't be a hallucination because there was one component that was there that never was before. As he passed her stricken face, her scent wafted towards him and it was the first inkling that occurred to him that he was home.

Chuck sat up with a start. His head was still spinning from the remnants of the drugs that hadn't left his system yet. But he was sure about one thing. He definitely wasn't wherever he was anymore. He stumbled out of his room, tripping over his own pant legs that he was sure he was wearing for the entire month.

He was completely disoriented when one thing occurred to him. Hallucinations were great when you were mourning your father's death, but this was different. No one was in the house and he knew exactly why. He couldn't remember how he got here or why, but he did know something. It definitely wasn't vacation anymore. And judging by recent blasts from Gossip Girl, it became very apparent to him that he had to make it to school.

He just needed to see her. That was it. She would be glad that he wasn't interrupting her life anymore. She of course would immediately regret telling him that thing she said and be glad that she had rid him from her bed sheets. It was the only way. Keeping her at a distance was the only way he could preserve his sanity. Because he would surely break like he did that night if he let her come any closer.

He rifled through the clean clothes that he was glad Larisa was actually keeping clean despite his month of absence. Canary yellow and a trench coat seemed to be as inconspicuous as Chuck Bass could get. It wasn't like he was staying. He wasn't actually going to class anyway. He wouldn't make it in time. He just had to prove himself right like he always was. She was happy without him.

Then there she was. In that instant, he had known that it really was her who was standing as he was hauled into what passed as his home. It was her looking on in despair before quickly covering her emotions. She was looking at him with that same heartbreaking and beautiful look while wearing that coat.

He inhaled deeply, breathing in her despair he shared. She was unhappy and he could only think it was because of him. After all, it was always about him. He ruined her and she wasn't going to get any better.

He breathed in his self destruction in form of hash but even as her slender fingers grabbed onto his face, he saw nothing. He felt the pit he was falling deeper into and he wished to hell that he wasn't pulling her with him.

**Flight**

_Uncle Jack. What a surprise. How've you been?_

_Uh-huh. So you don't remember out rickshaw ride? The 15 hour flight?_

_That was you?_

_Yeah, that was me._

Den of Inequity. That's what Chuck liked about it. It reminded him nothing of his past where everything was about appearances and propriety. Here, he didn't have to face himself in the mirror. Didn't have to feel sick at the very sight of what he had done.

He didn't really have a plan. For the first time he could remember, he was just floating. He wasn't scheming or planning his next move. He was just drowning in his own pool of alcohol and self pity.

He really didn't know what was happening when he felt strong hands on his shoulder, pulling him up from his crumbled form on the floor of the hotel room. He groaned as he hit the bed. His hooded eyes raised to see a silhouette draped in sunlight.

He couldn't register his things being thrown into suitcases and his stash being stowed.

"Are you just going to sit there?"

Chuck's eyes were too sensitive to light, but as he was pulled onto what seemed like a cart, he thought he recognized the voice.

That couldn't be it. He knew he was in Thailand, but he was sure the hallucinations were coming back full throttle. Especially because the person sitting next to him, smiling pleasantly just couldn't be. First of all, the deep man's voice that he couldn't quite place, which was driving him insane, definitely didn't match the soprano that he used to think of to get him to sleep after nightmares of his father's violent and gory crash.

She didn't have a scent. That was it in the end. It wasn't her. But he wanted it so much to be her. He wanted it to be her who was rescuing him. He was sure that he wasn't being kidnapped. No one gave a damn about the orphaned Bass anymore. If they did, she would have been looking for him even though he asked her not to.

So he cradled his head on the shoulder that wasn't there and just stared. Because she could have been. But she wasn't. She just wasn't.

Chuck barely registered going through customs. He heard dark commands he was glad that the majority of his stash was safe in New York or abandoned at the hotel back in Bangkok because he surely didn't have the suaveness he usually possessed to get through this. Not tonight. Not without her. Not while he was in this condition.

He remembered moments where he would just look at her and she would send him that half smile that was hidden from everyone else and he would be alright for a little while. No one saw what he saw but when her eyes lit up he finally found confidence in himself. He thought that maybe she believed in him and maybe he would be okay.

Not anymore. He had alienated her and anyone that he cared about. And as he took his seat in the apparent aircraft, he realized that if she was by his side, holding his hand or breathing comfort into his ear, he might be alright.

But now all he smelled was cheap cigarettes and god knows what else old cologne. It wasn't her. He gazed out at the clouds and as if fate, he could feel his gravitational pull towards something that he couldn't name. Something he would push away but something that would never leave him either.

Her phantom presence ghosted across his flesh and the clouds reminded him of something that he couldn't remember. Long nights with suites full of Dom and light laughter that only he could incur. He knew she wasn't there.

But she was.

"Blair."

"Not today, kid," came the haggard answer. For a moment, he thought about the voice. The voice that was just as evil and maniacle as his father. Or even worse, him. But in an instant it was gone and there was only her.

"Someday, then," he replied to himself.


	45. In the Realm of the Basses Part II

**A/N**: Second addition. This is the first in a trilogy of the Jack/Blair experience. It isn't in continuity and will make more sense when the other two will come out, even if that won't happen until the lest chapter of the Second Season. This first one is "during." There will also be a "before" and "after." The "after" is coming up in the next chapter.

**Summary**: He followed quickly in pursuit. He wasn't quite sure why he was doing it, but it didn't feel wrong it all. It should. She didn't belong to him. Never had never would. But pursuing her felt right.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. Chuck, Blair, and yes, even Jack are not creations of mine.

**

* * *

**

**Prague**

_He always disappeared. Marrakesh, Prague. And he always came back. Tie perfectly knotted._

He returned right from the airport. He knew how he was still wearing his wrinkled clothing and smelled like common people, but he was where he needed to be. He motioned for his driver to stop in front of the club. And like Fate, there she was. The night air tousled her perfectly styled hair slightly as she stood in the midst of the throng of people. But he didn't see the rest of them. They seemed lacking compared to her.

He could never admit what he could feel begin to brew beneath his skin, in his heart; the one that he thought black, shriveled and useless. He never thought that he would have a use for it anymore.

That was why he left. He could never tell her, but she was why he left. But he was better now. He had strangled the beginning of something he didn't have the propensity to understand yet until it would consume and explode all over the back seat of his limo the next year. But not yet. Not tonight.

Chuck opened the door of the limo and straightened his tie. She hadn't noticed him there. Maybe she never would. Maybe he would be fine with that. He leaned against his limo idly as he watched her flip over the orange plastic cover of her phone.

His heart clenched.

He looked as she brushed at her eyes. Tears shone and he started forward. She flipped her phone back over and looked up. Their eyes met and she stared. He didn't know what he was doing as he watched her wipe at her eyes again.

Then she was gone. He watched in dismay as she disappeared again through the crowd, back into the club. He followed quickly in pursuit. He wasn't quite sure why he was doing it, but it didn't feel wrong it all. It should. She didn't belong to him. Never had never would. But pursuing her felt right and who was he to question felt pleasurable?

He had no idea that Blair could be so fast in heels. Something he would have to remember for future reference. Without even a look back, she hit the back exit as the heavy door slammed behind her.

Chuck didn't even register the very real form of his best friend as he blindly opened the back door as well, following his instincts. She didn't even flinch as she heard the door slam behind him. She knew that he was following her. Somehow, she always knew.

He approached her cautiously. Then he realized that Chuck Bass didn't do cautious.

"Waldorf," he said as flirtatiously as possible. They always played that game well. "Although you know how much I enjoy the chase, what was with Tour de France through the club?"

She wasn't turning and for a horrific moment, he thought there was something that she was afraid to show him. He hated the protective vibes that he felt radiating off of him. He thought he had pushed those back during his trip. But as she turned with that attractive sneer on her face, he knew this was just a happy illusion.

"Bass," she said coldly, crossing her arms over her chest, and he knew he was in trouble. "Back so soon? Marrakesh again?"

"Prague, actually," he corrected. Her jaw clenched he he knew that she was holding back some sort of emotion. He just wished he knew what it was. Because the way she was staring at him, he had no doubt that he was the cause of it. He continued to gaze at her and it was becoming more and more apparent that this little dance of theirs had to come to an end eventually.

He knew he had freaked, but he would always come back for her. Especially when she had no one else. Maybe it sounded stalker-crazy, boyfriend material, or just rights that he had no access to, but lately he knew he and Blair had connected and what was worse was that he hated the way she was looking at him. Like he had broken her heart. Which he hadn't. He never possessed it in the first place. Not that he wanted to. He had to be sure of that.

"Why don't we stop the evasiveness, Waldorf?" he asked.

"Fine," she shrugged. "You are a vile narcissist and I cannot believe that I ever trusted you."

"Hold on a second," he said steadily. "Let's not pretend that this was something that it wasn't. So what? I went to Prague. Why the hell does it matter to you?"

"How dare you?" she spat. "How dare you even condescend to speak to me that way?"

He raised his dark eyes but didn't speak. He knew his expression spoke volumes.

"You have no _idea_ what I've been going through."

"You?" Chuck asked incredulously. "You're not the only one with issues."

"Oh, what?" Blair asked condescendingly. "Bart ignoring you again? Making you feel inferior? Well my mother doesn't even bother with that anymore. All she sees when she looks at me is my father and she resents me for it. My father doesn't love me enough to even tell me that he's leaving me for some male model. And what's worse is my boyfriend looks right through me. I'm not stupid. I know he wishes that I were lighter, and airier, and blonder. I have_ no one_. And then you."

Chuck wished he could at least look away in shame but her eyes were powerful.

"I know that Nate hasn't been a friend to you either. You knew what was happening. I needed you and then I call the concierge to find out you split. Just like Serena."

"I'm sorry," he spat venomously. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to take care of you. To pick you up and wash the vomit off your face."

He really hadn't expected it. Slapping people was reserved for scorned girlfriends and UFC. But when his head jerked to the side from her exertion, he couldn't help but feel like he deserved it.

He hated himself. He really did. He knew these things were happening but Blair had a tendency for martyrdom. She made herself look high and mighty for the greater cause.

Sometimes.

She made things look light and nonexistent. He should have known. He knew exactly what she was going through. He knew what it was like to have negligent parents and an absent best friend. He was selfish. And he always did this. He always went too far. He always hurt those around him. And for the first and only time someone actually needed him for him, he rejected them. Typical Bass traits.

He felt the side of his face begin to burn. He saw her eyes falter. He never knew Blair was one for remorse. Then again, she wasn't sorry she hit him. She was just was just sorry that it _was _him.

"I'm so stupid," she said, more to herself.

"Blair."

"No," she said, shrugging away the hand that tried to comfort her. "I always do this. Think people have more impact than they do. In the end, it's never what you think. People will always disappoint you. It's just a lesson I have to learn."

Chuck wished she would just stop talking. He knew they were refraining from saying things that were deeply embedded in them. They were both tortured souls and they were the only ones who knew what the other was going through. They were connected. But Chuck always screwed things up. It was in his DNA.

"I'm sorry."

At first, he wasn't even sure if that it was his mouth those two words came out of. He didn't do apologies. Especially to women. But he was realizing that Blair wasn't just a woman. She was Blair. The only female friend that he ever had, or ever would have in the foreseeable future.

By the way she was staring at him, he knew it was true. She hadn't known him to apologize either and it was throwing her.

He didn't know what possessed him when it happened. She was just looking at him in that way that maybe she could trust him again. Those deep eyes that were just wells of emotion that had yet to be tapped into. She was dangerous and she was unknown.

He leaned in anyway.

He put his lips lightly to hers, barely even a kiss. Immediately snapping back to reality, he pulled away. She was staring at him again like she had never seen anything like him before. He cleared his voice awkwardly.

"Do you want to go back in?" she asked after the uncomfortable silence.

"Yes," he cleared his voice again. "Let's."

She let him hold the door open for her as they trailed back into the party, immediately finding Nate. Nate was glad to see his friend back again (wait, you were gone?) and once again, was completely oblivious. He didn't see the offensive color that had spread across his girlfriend's face and the knowing look that she and his best friend finally shared.

**The Roof**

_He said awhile ago about wanting to take the view in from above._

_He probably meant upstairs._

_Clearly you don't know Chuck. He has a thing for rooftops._

She hated these society events. Worse than that, she hated the Upper East Side elite parties thrown in full view of the public. She used to love them. They appealed to her inner queen. But now, the queen had a rendezvous with the devil and there was no way that they could meet their quota in the midst of people that would relish to see her burn. Typical.

"Looking for someone?" Serena asked as they went through the door. Ever since Blair had admitted to her guilty pleasure who was enraptured with nothing but guilt, Serena took every opportunity to point out how it would fail or was just a bad idea in general.

Blair was aware of this. If she wasn't, she probably would have confessed her undying love for the bastard and asked that they go "steady." As if. She didn't have a social death wish. Or an emotional one either. If there was one thing she knew, it was Chuck Bass. And Chuck Bass didn't do "steady" and he sure as hell didn't do "love."

As far as she concerned, by this time, both were just urban legends. She decided that she didn't believe in either anymore because it just caused that much more heartbreak. Don't care about someone and they don't have the opportunity to tear you down and rip your still beating heart from your chest.

She wasn't bitter.

Definitely not.

But she was enamored. That was the extent she was willing to admit herself. There was no other explanation for it. Losing your virginity in the back of a limo was a drunken mistake. Committing the same act practically 24 hours later completely sober with a birthday necklace glittering around your neck was a near accident.

However, the following excursions could not be classified as so. Not when you willingly crawl in the back of his limo again or when he drunkenly stumbles into your room the next night, pinning you to your own bed frame. It just doesn't work like that. Especially when you make it a habit to meet in dark bedrooms at very public parties and continue with your little sordid affair.

She was caving to it. She was finally admitting to herself the facts. And the facts were that she was having an incredibly exciting affair with Chuck Bass and her stupid best friend's stupid guilt trips weren't going to stop her now. She was too far gone anyway. His smoldering gaze across the now very crowded room was testament to that.

"Oh my god, Blair," Serena said, acting affronted, obviously witnessing what Blair could instinctually feel. At outbursts like this, Blair had learned just to tune her out and ignore her. But that didn't mean that she would just magically fall into Chuck's arms either. She knew how this game was played and the way he was smirking at her, she knew that he was ready to play.

"I'm getting a drink," Blair said, not waiting for a reply. She walked off, acutely aware of penetrating eyes burning into her back the whole way there. She motioned for the bartender and immediately knocked it back.

"Let's go."

His harsh breath hit her ear secretively. She didn't look back for her simple answer.

"No."

"Scotch," he ordered. "Single ice cube." Blair refrained from rolling her eyes at his elitism. He was so... Chuck.

"No?" he asked covertly, looking ahead so no one could really tell that they were speaking. Not that it would matter. They were friends. But the last time Chuck looked her in the eye while saying those things to her at public parties, he got a swift kick to the shin. He loved her fire, but that bruise didn't go away for weeks from her pointy toed stilettos.

In any case, it was irrelevant. He gave her several bruises to her neck in the passing weeks as well. She closed her eyes as he leaned into her again. His hand descended to her thigh. She should have smacked him for using such gall in front of Gossip Girl spies. But his voice was so low and seductive, she really couldn't find it in herself. Dumb bastard.

"Fine," he said with his sultry voice. "Let's see how long you can resist me for tonight. I bet it won't be much past midnight. We have a habit of that."

"I'm not going to make a wager with you," she replied.

"Right," he nodded. "Because you know you can't win."

He felt pleasurable surprise as her fingers wrapped around his bow tie so she could whisper savagely in his ear.

"Listen, Bass," she snapped. "The next time you even deign to speak to me like this in public will be your last."

He pulled away and smirked.

"Is that a challenge?"

She groaned in frustration. "No, it's not a challenge."

"Good," he replied. "I'll meet you on the roof, then."

Before she could protest, he had slunk into the crowd with his cat-like grace and she exhaled angstily. He was right. She could never hold up much against him and his wild game of seduction. But it was the game that they both loved and she couldn't get enough of.

Her phone vibrated.

It could be only one person.

**Miss u**

Blair wished her heart didn't flutter at his simple text. She hated how he could be so vile and vulgar around everyone that they possibly knew, but when it came to her, he could be sweet. She hated it because she could feel the soft spot she held for him start to grow and she knew only disaster could follow. She knew this game and if it was his intent for her to fall for him, he was succeeding. But she would never let him be aware of his victory. She would surely die first.

**I dont have all nite. need u.**

She could practically hear his husky voice rasp in her ear. He was always getting the better of her because she shouldn't have. Instead, she should have been paying attention to the attachment pic to the text. She wasn't that lucky.

Blair's jaw had dropped when it opened right on her phone when she saw Serena stalking towards her, her intent obvious on her features. This was not the right time at all and Blair knew she had to escape. There was only one way.

Roof access.

It was like he planned it, and damn him. With as much poise as he did, she slid through the crowd and opened the door that led to the stairs. She was never going to live this down. She opened the door and he was immediately looking down on her with amusment.

Without hesitation she weilded the phone that was still in her hand like a weapon and brandished it against his head furiously.

"Ow," he said. "_Ow_."

"How dare you take a picture while I was sleeping?" she demanded.

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific," he said with his smirk. She flipped open her phone to look at the picture he had sent her before she asked.

"You took more than _one_?"

He quickly snatched her phone from her yielding hands to scrutinize it.

"Ah, yes," he said satisfactorily. "I remember this one. This was one of my amateur ones. I've gotten better as time went on."

"You're so creepy," she practically yelled.

"But you looked so delectable decked in nothing but my sheet," he said in his deep voice that sent warning bells in her head that he was deeply aroused. He had tell-tale signs. Especially when his hand gripped her hip with such a force against the wall of the building. That definitely told her that he wanted her. Now.

"I want you."

That told her too.

"How do I get into these compromising situations with you?" she asked more to herself. He just smirked that smug smirk of his and shrugged with self-assurance.

"Free will?"

"I'm beginning to think that may be a possibility," she said as his lips enclosed on hers. She felt his arm brace himself above her head and it suddenly occurred to her that this may be very well happening right here and now. She halted his hand that was journeying south. "What are you doing?"

"I thought we've been doing this enough to make that very clear," he said with slight confusion at her reluctance.

"Yes," she replied, "behind locked doors--"

"And moving vehicles," he reminded her.

"--but that's it."

"Well according to Serena, that door wasn't so much as locked as putting on the illusion that it was even closed."

"And now Serena's guilting me every chance I get," Blair retorted.

"That's why we're on the roof," he said persuasively into her ear. Damn him and his fool-proof sexy voice. "Just stay with me."

"Why?" she asked, trying to shrug him off. She still had a reputation to protect (then again, apparently so did he) but whenever she was with him, it just seemed nonexistent.

"Do I make you nervous?"

She knew there was danger in that tone. And she knew she wasn't getting out of this. And she was finally figuring out that she didn't want to.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked, pressing himself against her.

"It's nice up here," she commented. He looked at the surroundings over the roof. There was a strange smile on his face that she had seen very rarely. And she was sure she was the only one who had seen it.

He looked directly into her eyes. "Yes. It is."

**New Year's**

_He can't know what happened on New Year's._

There was always something that happened to Blair when she got in states like this. It seemed like when her finger was scalding her throat, or she was downing bottles with labels she couldn't even read anymore, there was someone to catch her. She was falling dangerously and she didn't know what to do. There was a time when just the right person came along. He picked up her fragile body, wiped the vomit off her face, and kissed her so fiercely, she forgot what the word "insecurity" even meant.

This was not one of those times.

She knew what self destruction looked like. She had a front row view and tore her apart to know that she couldn't do anything to stop it. But harsh breath hit her face and she knew this was worse. Much, much worse.

She was dying.

The body pulled away with harsh laughter.

"He's not coming back."

She wanted to scream into the smug face that didn't hold the humor she was used to _yes he is_. He was coming back. He was coming back for her. But he wasn't here. He wasn't going to protect her anymore. He wasn't going to pick her broken pieces up off the floor and clean the vomit off her face. Her love was gone and he had taken a part of her with him after he had split her in two.

As she smelled the scent of cheap alcohol as the moments passed, she knew this mantra was for naught. She was compromising herself for a man, something she had promised herself that she would never do again. But he made her weak. Her desperate and passionate love for him made her weak. He made her stupid and selfish and angry.

She had become an expert on watching him self destruct right in front of her eyes, without being able to do anything about it. And it killed her. Her hot tears streamed down her face but the weight on top of her didn't seem to care. Or even notice. He was just groaning selfishly.

She didn't enjoy it. It was not over quickly. She writhed, but only at the thought about what she had resorted to. Her nails didn't rake down his back in excruciating pleasure. She didn't pull at his roots or slap that good humored smirk off his face after he made some vulgar comment that really made her insides flutter and blush spread across her chest with flattery.

But it was still his name on her lips. There was never anyone else's. She had to bite down to stop it from seeping into the air. But she couldn't help it.

The weight finally lifted as he rolled off of her. She just lay there, petrified and frozen, staring up at the ceiling of the hotel, unable to move. All she could hear was his heavy breathing and eventual cold hearted chuckle.

She couldn't help it.

She said it.

"_Chuck_."

He used to stare at her, still on top of her, so entranced that neither of them could move. He used to trace the lines of sweat that coated her ribs and lick up her neck. He made her feel wanted, special, desired. Perfect. Now all she felt was damaged and used even if it was from her own making.

She wished he was here, stroking the pain and torment from her flesh. She wished she could hold him close to her again, whispering to him that he didn't have to run anymore. She was here.

She wished they could be better together again. Instead, all she heard was atrocity.

"Sorry, baby. He's not here."

She refused to let the cry of anguish at herself escape her.

"And he never will be."

She knew it was true. So she just lay there, wiping the tears and smudged make-up that marred her face, promising herself she would never cry over Chuck Bass again.


	46. Gone With the Will Part I

**A/N**: Going back to three parters. Yay. This is the next installment of the Jack trilogy chapters. This is the "after" one at the end of the chapter. This is a shorter chapter because of the length of the ones to come.

**Summary**: She stared at her reflection, marveling at how she had fallen so far so fast. There was only one person who could do that to her and it made sense that he wasn't even here to see it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. Jack's extreme creepiness belongs to Gossip Girl.

**

* * *

**

**Abomination**

_Come out with me tonight._

_I told you I'm not interested._

She could still feel the bile at the back of her throat. She knew it was there and she was frightened. She was disgusted with herself. She knew he was watching. But it wasn't the he she wanted. It wasn't he who had stolen her heart and broke it in the same instance. It was the he who she had created abominations with. It was he who she could feel slowly poisoning her Chuck away. It was the he who she let touch her.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Blair asked in disgust. She didn't like how he was so familiar with her. She may have done some questionable things, but she was under the influence of more than just alcohol. She didn't like how he was leaning towards her and she definitely didn't like how it made her want to stick her fingers down her throat.

"He's back."

"I've noticed," Blair replied dryly. "As I'm sure you've also noticed that he's now suspended for smoking hash on school grounds."

"You can't deny the kid has style."

She really couldn't. But that didn't mean she had to answer either.

"What?"

His mere voice made her stomach churn.

She still didn't answer.

He edged closer to her and she tried to swallow the distaste. It wasn't just about him. He was the main point of it all, but it was mainly herself. She couldn't believe what she had done. Had she admitted it, she knew that the one person she really cared about would pretend to not care at all. It didn't matter to him when his father lay in the ground.

She stayed as stoic as she could as an older arm was thrown across her shoulders. She felt that stare and she knew that it was over before it even started. She knew that she was in too deep and it was of her own making. She turned a fraction of an inch and glared into cold blue eyes that never matched the depth that caramel ones did.

"I brought him back."

Seriously. Brought him back in the pieces she wish he would let her put back together.

"Do you want a lap dance?" Blair asked snidely.

"For starters," he grinned. She shrugged him off angrily, standing away from him.

"Why don't you just accept the truth," he sighed. "He doesn't want you. He made that much clear."

"He'll come back to me," Blair said, trying to convince herself more than the man sitting across from her.

"So you pulled him off a ledge," he shrugged. "That won't stop the Bass nature. We're not meant for monogamy."

"Would you think I would accept anything less?" Blair snapped.

"No."

"Than what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I see what love does to people. It's a fickle bitch that once you're caught in its claws, it will never let go. Might as well have some fun while you're at it."

"You will never be him," Blair said cruelly, knowing that was exactly what he was thinking anyway.

"And you will never have him."

That was what hurt her the most. She turned away, blinking rapidly to rid her eyes of those pesky tears that had plagued her for so long. She felt him behind her as he put his hand on her waist. For a small moment, Blair wondered if it would be so terrible.

Then she slapped him.

"Get your hands off of me."

"You're fooling yourself," he told her.

"Fine," Blair retorted. "But you'll never have me either."

"You forget," Jack Bass snapped, "I already have. It's not my fault my nephew doesn't know how to taste what he's given."

Blair stood strongly against her disgust for one last time because this was it.

"And you never will again."

**Emotionless**

_Whatever may have transpired between us, it's important what it means to me. Which is nothing._

When he finally rolled off of her, she felt as though she could breathe again. She was no longer suffocated with self loathing or just the blatant need to be acknowledged, even if it was fake and even if it wasn't because she was the object of fascination anymore. The real eyes she wanted on her were dark and not the sociopathic ice ones that she felt like gouging out.

She still felt his hot breath on her neck and she knew that she couldn't do this. She could keep it down. She slid from the bed, hitting the bathroom door just in time. She stared at her reflection, marveling at how she had fallen so far so fast. There was only one person who could do that to her and it made sense that he wasn't even here to see it.

His uncle was.

Her dress was in disarray. She couldn't even bear to take it off. It hurt too much. The only person who could come that intimately that close, was off being blown by Thai hookers. Apparently he wanted professionals and she just wasn't up to the task.

She took in her disheveled appearance and she was nauseated. Her make-up was smeared with her tears and her dress was ripped. A foreign man's scent was all over her and she bent over the porcelain bowl just in time for all of the alcohol she consumed that night to burn its way up her throat. She collapsed onto the ground, fresh tears burning her eyes as she felt his taste scald her tongue as her stomach acids eviscerated her.

Her nails dug into the cold marble, ruining the manicure that used to be so impeccable. He used to be here. He used to hold her hair back, to kiss away her worry. Now she was whoring herself away and he didn't have a care in the world. He certainly didn't care about her.

But that didn't mean that she ever stopped for one second caring about him.

She loved him.

She loved him.

She _loved_ him.

Damnit.

On shaky legs she eased the bathroom door open to reveal the demons that brewed within her.

Jack Bass was still on his back. He heard her and turned to his side, a smug smile on his face.

"Hello, beautiful." And her stomach churned with something that could easily come up again.

"Ready for another round?"

"Shut up," Blair snapped. He looked at her in surprise how she wasn't in subordination to him anymore. How the alcohol had burned right through her veins and he couldn't manipulate her confused mind.

"Let's get one thing straight," Blair said slowly. "This never happened."

"I beg to differ."

"I thought I told you not to talk," she sneered. He looked impressed with her. Obviously no one had ever spoken to him in that manner. It wouldn't be the last time. "This never happened."

His icy eyes narrowed perceptively.

She didn't care.

"You're done here," she told him. "You're done going to New Year's parties. You're done pretending to care that your brother's in the ground and the only family you have left is probably drowning in his own vomit somewhere. And you're leaving."

"Is that so?" Jack asked, easing dangerously into a sitting position.

"Don't think you can scare me," she said defiantly. "I won't be taken advantage of by a man who spends his time partying with teenagers of the Upper East Side."

"And what do you propose I do?"

"I thought I told you," Blair said in annoyance. "You're leaving. The plane ticket's all ready. You're going to Thailand and you're not coming back until you've brought him with you in one piece."

"One piece might pose a problem," he replied. "And how exactly do you know where my dear nephew is?"

Blair took a deep breath. "He told me."

"You spoke with him?" Jack asked, his tone inflecting that he indeed was impressed with her. "Then why don't you go after him?"

"Because he doesn't want me to."

"And what makes you think he'll come back with me?"

"You're family," Blair replied. "And I'm just not."

"That's not what he told me."

"You talked to him?" Blair demanded.

"From the drunken gurglings I could understand, yes," he said.

"Good bye, Jack," Blair replied steadily.

"And what happens when I succeed?"

"You bring him back," Blair said with obviousness.

"And after that?"

Blair swallowed as she heard what he was insinuating. She didn't like it. He grinned at her reluctance.

"What's my reward?"

"The notion that your nephew is finally back where he belongs."

"With you?" Jack asked skeptically. Blair lifted her chin but didn't say anything. "He's going to do what he wants to do, Blair. You can't control him."

"Make sure he goes through customs," Blair replied as she slid on his shoes under cold, narrowed eyes. "I want him to be punished for the full extent of what he's done."

She froze when she realized he wasn't in the hotel bed anymore.

"I'll do it," he said quietly. "God knows I love a challenge. And I will come back."

"With Chuck," Blair said with difficulty, letting herself say his name for the first time since she saw it scrawled in his penmanship on her stationary.

"We'll see how long after he breaks your heart again you'll be so dead-set on the notion."

"You'll never be him," Blair smiled cruelly and reached for the door. She felt his hand suddenly painfully clenching her forearm and it took all of her self control not to yelp on pain.

"He's just going to ruin you again."

"No," Blair replied, wrenching herself away as she stepped into the hallway. "I was already in desolation before this."


	47. Gone With the Will Part II

**A/N**: This only has two sections but the next one will have three.

**Summary**: It was lightning fast. You couldn't see it if you weren't looking for it. His hand lightly touched her elbow, an affectionate touch that could so easily be missed. But her eyes lit up as he looked on. That was it.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. Quotes belong to GG.

**

* * *

**

**Meaning**

_Do you think it would mean nothing to Chuck? Let's ask him. _

Jack looked on in disgust. He knew his orders. Not that he would ever take commands from some 18 year old society princess, but he was making an exception. He had to admit she was fascinating. He had to understand what was so captivating about her that captured the cold heart of his nephew. He truly was a Bass.

But like a Bass, Jack had realized what the quality was about her that ensnared them about her. He knew his deceased brother liked her. Liked her enough for his son. It took a lot to pin the short attention span of a Bass. Blair was just something that you couldn't look away from. Only the dense people saw her cold exterior but it was the fire that brewed beneath that was captivating.

Bart wanted Blair for his son. He liked her. Jack wasn't so selfless. He wanted the bitch for himself. This was what he hated about having to be a chauffeur to his drunk nephew who had no idea he was even there to begin with. Even if it meant pleasing Blair which he most desperately wanted to do. In more than one way.

Though Chuck did seem to be logical enough to warn him that Thai waitress he was trying to pick up had a penis, he still stared in revulsion at his own blood sprawled across the bed mumbling incoherently.

Jack sighed and knocked back his scotch. Chuck's glazed eyes narrowed at him. Jack wasn't about to explain again how he was here to help him. It was annoying. He would have to get him at least sober enough to pull him out of the limo to please Blair. She made that perfectly clear.

He would just let the kid sleep it off. After all, he didn't even know what he had. He left it in a puddle of alcohol and tears, vulnerable to any guy to come along and take advantage. He deserved it. Jack was convinced that Chuck just wasn't into her. He couldn't be.

That's why it caught him off guard.

"Blair."

Jack did a double take at his nephew's slur. He crept towards him. He couldn't decipher Chuck's mumbling but he was sure he heard it. Jack put his hand to his shoulder, shaking him slightly to rouse him.

"Chuck."

He was sure he heard it this time. Chuck leaned back on his elbows, his eyes narrowing.

"Blair."

That was definitely it. Jack sighed.

"Sorry, kid."

Chuck was scowling again, like he was prone to do lately. "Jack."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"I thought..." Chuck trailed off in confusion.

"I heard you," Jack replied. "Blair."

Chuck's prominent brow furrowed.

"Blair," Chuck said softly. "Sorry."

"What?" Jack asked. It didn't sound like Chuck was talking to him. He was talking to someone far off.

"You don't know her," Chuck said, his voice directed back to Jack. Jack wasn't about to correct him. "And I'm sorry."

It annoyed Jack that Chuck would just drift in and out of consciousness, talking to someone who wasn't even there, who couldn't even hear him.

"That broad you had back home."

This was dangerous territory. He refused to end up like some spoiled rich teenager with girl problems. But he could see how Chuck was so enamored. And Jack only had her once. He was well aware of Chuck and Blair's history. Blair liked to talk when she was drunk. She and Chuck had that in common.

He listened to Chuck's drunken snort.

"She was a girl."

That much was obvious.

"She wasn't like the rest of them. She was perfect."

Jack didn't like that word. No one person could truly be perfect. But Blair sure as hell made it seem like it. She was perfect for a Bass. She was cool and fiery at the same time with her cruel and clever comments. He wanted her but he refused to believe that some stupid kid held the attention of a girl like that. Not to mention that a Bass fell so hard for someone like her. Basses didn't fall in love. It wasn't like that.

He couldn't believe his ears.

"She was perfect," Chuck murmured into his pillow, "and I hurt her more than anything."

"You're drunk," Jack said. "Don't strain yourself."

"You don't know her," Chuck said again. "You don't know what she's like. She's worth it."

"Worth what?" Jack couldn't help his curiosity. Sure, he would bring Chuck back to his millions and Jack would collect the company. But if this kid was actually happy when Jack, who would get everything he wanted, couldn't, he didn't think he could handle that.

"All of it," Chuck said drunkenly. "The monogamy, the fidelity. When I'm with her, all the rest falls away. No one else exists. All those hookers and dancers. All those sluts. They just don't exist. She makes me forget what a horrible person I am. And she gets it. She gets me. She knows what it's like to be so cold on the outside. No one else gets the need for connection."

"You're rambling, kid," Jack said. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't like how he had the potential for happiness with some straight-laced bitch who would rather be with some teenager who couldn't even admit that he needed her when she could have anything she wanted.

"I love her."

He said it with such assurance, so clearly, Jack was sure that not only was he sober, but had actually been saying it to her all his life. But he knew that he hadn't. He knew he was incapable of that. And that made things look up for Jack.

"I love her," Chuck said again, this time not as clearly. "She is my salvation. I don't know what I would do without her. But I do know how much I would hurt her if she let me even touch her again."

"So let someone else do it," Jack said before he could stop himself. Chuck coughed and Jack knew that he didn't like it.

"I die whenever I see her with someone else."

Jack stared and he knew that was the truth.

He couldn't let that happen.

He couldn't let some kid be more prestigious than him. If a Bass could love, he couldn't understand how he could be better.

"I love her."

Jack hated his brother's son. And this was the way it had to be.

**Blair and Chuck**

_Blair's with Chuck. Again._

_Ugh, I'm really getting sick of how much time she's spending with him._

Penelope wasn't stupid. She played stupid because she liked the Gossip Girl philosophy. Wait until the ammunition you had would have the best effect. Or worst which was how she liked it.

Blair's heels clicked up the Met Steps and she took the step above Penelope's.

"You're late."

Blair froze, her dark eyes scalding. Normally, Penelope wouldn't have even dared saying something like that to the queen. But she would be lying if she said she hadn't noticed the change in Blair. Everyone saw it, but no one said anything. She watched Blair open her mouth as though to say something but her eyes flicked out beyond the steps and she closed it. Instead, she took her seat.

"How many times have you been late, P?" Blair asked, digging into her yogurt.

"Almost never," Penelope said proudly.

"Almost," Blair reminded her. But that was it. There was no scalding remark. It finally occurred to Penelope to turn her head and she saw it. She wouldn't have thought anything about it before, but she had insider information.

She saw inside those dark clubs where he would brush her hair away from her face as she laughed, her breath thick with vodka. She would see outside The Palace where his gentle hands that no one else saw, helping her out of his limo. And now he was looking up with soft eyes she had never seen before. And they were centered on the Ice Queen who's eyes were carefully trained on her own food. Too carefully. She knew what it was like to have to hide relationships. Her father's junior partner was a testament to that.

But Chuck Bass? That was just poor taste. That didn't mean that she wasn't jealous. She wanted to know what made the self proclaimed playboy gaze with softness, adoration and--

She wasn't even going to say it. Maybe he could look lovingly, but he could never be in love. That was just... ludicrous. Then again, no one could really see Blair losing her virginity to someone other than Nate Archibald.

Blair definitely had done that. There was no way she was spending so much time in Chuck's limo if they weren't doing anything. And Penelope had definitely caught something purple and shadowy on Blair's collarbone-- the exact indentation that she was sure were made by Chuck's teeth.

Not that it could be proven, but Penelope was a master at this sort of thing. She could so easily send it in to Gossip Girl. She could watch Blair burn with victory.

She would rather wait. She would rather wait until the opportune moment and watch them destroy themselves. It would be more fun that way. She watched Blair in satisfaction even if it was laced with confusion. She was continuously smoothing down her impeccable curls while fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

And she saw it.

If Blair hadn't been so paranoid about the state of her hair, she wouldn't have moved it, revealing the circular purple color on her color bone. Penelope almost laughed. Iz shot her a confused look but Penelope kept her to herself.

For now.

"Where do you think she always goes?" Hazel asked in wonderment.

"Do you have to ask?" Penelope sneered, nodding her head towards Chuck's idling limo.

"Chuck?" Iz snorted. "I don't think so."

"I'm sure the hickey on her neck is a testament to that," Penelope said in annoyance, hating that she was being contradicted.

"You don't think--"

"Hey, guys," Serena cut Hazel off, sitting with them. "Where's Blair?"

"That's just what we were speculating," Penelope mused, knowing Serena knew the truth. She could confirm it for them. She watched Serena's face pale as she followed Penelope's gaze.

"Penelope," Serena warned. "Just don't."

"So you know?" she asked in interest.

"Just don't," Serena warned again. "It's not worth it."

"Not worth what?" Penelope asked. "I just want a yes or a no answer. It's not like I care."

And she didn't. She just had the propensity to dig deep into dirt. She needed to know one way or another if Blair was digging her own social grave.

"It's not like Nate isn't free now."

And that was what it came down to now. Blair wasn't with Nate anymore. She was with someone else. And now Nate was on the market.

"Blair doesn't want Nate anymore, now," Serena assured her. "Just trust me."

"Really?" Penelope asked in interest. "That's promising. But why?"

Serena just shot her a look.

"I mean why him?" Penelope asked. "Out of all of the eligible bachelors at St. Jude's the Queen B could snare, why him? He's..."

"Chuck Bass," Serena rolled her eyes. She heard that mantra too many times to count now.

"What's so special about him?"

"I don't know," Serena answered honestly. She gazed off knowing the Penelope would just as soon as drop it until they became interesting again. Until scandal rocked the Upper East Side.

She watched with interest as Blair flicked her hair back at the bottom of the steps. Chuck was engaging her in conversation but just with a smug and amused look across his face.

It was lightning fast. You couldn't see it if you weren't looking for it. His hand lightly touched her elbow, an affectionate touch that could so easily be missed. But her eyes lit up as he looked on. That was it. People like Penelope couldn't understand and Serena wasn't sure if she even did. It only made sense in the deep fathoms of their eyes, but it was still there. Blair and Chuck was something that they could only understand. Blair and Chuck.


	48. Gone With the Will Part III

**A/N**: So since this is Gone With the Will, it gets a tad angsty at the end. I've had some complaints that some of these aren't actual allusions, but not all episodes have them and some quotes I just have to do. And I just couldn't help not adding the last one.

**Summary**: They would either be enemies or lovers, but there was no in between. There was no mutual acquaintances. There was no warm friendship. It was either scalding hot or cold revenge.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. Quotes are GG. There's not GG tonight. vnjdksnvjsdknvds. And I know this is a poor substitute, but a substitute nonetheless.

**

* * *

****Dinner**

_I'm having dinner with Blair._

_Reschedule Blair._

_I can't. She's been a good friend to me._

It wasn't like she had expected change overnight. Surely the night after he almost toppled off of a building he wouldn't be all sunshine. Not that he ever was in the beginning. But she at least thought he wouldn't be stupid enough to go out again the following night. She knew that Jack was a terrible influence but the point of being under Jack's roof was so he wouldn't bail again. And what did she see as she walked into the club that night? None other than Chuck Bass. And she wanted to scream.

At least he wasn't covered in his usual hoard of whores. That was something. But he wasn't exactly sober either. Point of fact, he was shitfaced. Blair grimaced as she approached. She didn't want her head to get bitten off again, but hell if she was going to watch him self destruct. She was going to save him whether he liked it or not.

"Waldorf."

She wasn't sure if that was relief or snideness in his voice. His words were too slurred. He never slurred.

Damn.

She crossed her arms over her chest and she watched his eye line dip. She was usually offended when he showed such displays, but in the past year or so, she had learned to appreciate it. It was just his way of complimenting her. Ever since the funeral and a week before, such displays had stopped. She knew that when he consumed alcohol, more if him shown through. And this just included his crudity and desires. She would accept the compliment.

"To what do I owe this... esteemed pleasure."

Whenever he paused like that in between sentences, it wasn't because he was thinking of what to say. Even when he was drunk, he had perfectly crafted sentences. It was the word after the pause that would be stressed. And it was the lechery in that word that was impossible to ignore.

Again, she just had to accept it as the compliment that it was.

"To the fact that I'm taking you home," she replied, reaching out for him. He dodged her hand with ease but lost his balance slightly in the process.

"No thanks," he replied, his voice sans venom. "I like it here."

She leaned forward. "Will you like it when you take the view from above again?"

She watched his eyes flicker with emotion at her low question. Another person would have dismissed it, but she knew it to be slight guilt. She didn't know why, but she knew it was there. This time when she reached out, he leaned into her. This caught her by surprise but she let her hitched breath pass out easily. From his expression, she knew that he had heard it anyway.

"I'm sorry," he said again. She knew he truly was.

"Jack just let you out of the house?" Blair asked, not able to fight the sneer from her voice. He was supposed to be taking care of Chuck.

"He didn't mind."

_He's going to_.

Blair rolled her eyes and pulled him onto the street where he promptly vomited. She looked in disdain at the expelled alcohol, blaming it for the pain it was causing him. And anything else that was causing it. He looked up into her eyes as though begging for forgiveness. She had forgotten how precious he was when he was drunk. Truly drunk, not just that suave way he would saunter around. She helped him to his feet and into the limo that was waiting.

"Why are you here?" he asked softly after a while.

"Why are you?"

She watched his eyes train to hers. "I asked you first."

"I told you," she responded.

"So you'll just keep trying to save me from myself?" he asked, humor tinting his voice.

"As long as it takes."

He didn't answer but maybe he actually heard her this time.

"Thank you."

She looked at him in confusion. He couldn't seem to look at her as he answered.

"You're the only one who hasn't really given up on me," he said. If she wasn't mistaken, she would have detected shyness in his voice. But this was Chuck Bass. So, not so much.

"It's not that hard," Blair shrugged, "when you care about someone."

He was staring at her in the way that made her nervous. She looked away from his penetrating gaze. She knew if their eyes stayed connected for any longer something terrible would happen. It wouldn't be terrible at first. At first it would just burn and sizzle, providing euphoria and ecstasy. But after, everything would be ruined. She would rather just wait. She didn't think he felt the same way, however.

"Look," Blair said towards the window. "We're here."

He didn't respond. It's not like he could disagree. She stepped out of the limo, letting him lean on her. Despite his ability to fake sobriety exceedingly well for Bart's benefit, Blair knew when she was around him. She knew when he was faking and when he could barely hold himself together. This was one of those times she would have to help him stumble to his suite.

In her vast career as one of Chuck Bass's best friends, she had seen things and done things that no one should ever do. She had helped Chuck when he was most needy, something no one would ever believe. Nate was never up to par when it came to that. But it was just something she had an aptitude for and you really had to play to your strengths. So she pulled the key out of her clutch that she still had after Chuck gave it to her to seduce Nate with. She didn't know why she kept it, but he didn't seem to mind. Or notice, for that matter.

She didn't bother with the lights as she heard him shuffle into the room. He wouldn't be staying up. She would make sure of it. She would stay until morning if that meant protecting him from the various substances and whores that he indulged in. It wasn't jealousy. She just cared. It didn't seem logical, but to her, it just was.

Now he was self absorbed and indulgent. But she knew him better than anyone. And when they were alone, he would say and do things that she hadn't even thought possible. And that was worth what was happening now. Because she was sure in the future, it wouldn't always be like this. She was sure that her Chuck would come back and things would be like they used to be.

His hands were wrapped around her waist as he leaned his head against her shoulder as she deposited him onto his bed. She just stood back, not wanting to touch him, not wanting to move any closer, but not wanting to leave either. She just... wanted to be there.

"You could join me," grated his deep and gravelly voice. Her eyes snapped to his form sprawled on the bed. She really wished her thoughts weren't immediately going back to those moments when she would. She would be by his side and she let him have her in ways that no one else ever had. Or ever would.

She could still tell the inebriation in his voice. She very well could.

She could crawl onto the bed next to him and he would be doing the thing she wished she let him do. He would do things to her that she couldn't spell. But that would ruin it. She would let him ruin them. She would let them ruin them. So because of his drunken lewdity, she went for lightness.

"Not tonight, Bass," she said dryly. She was about to walk from his head. She knew she couldn't just leave him. He made her weak. As much as she wanted to stay to protect him, she knew staying would be detrimental to her principles. She couldn't just stay because she really couldn't say how fast her clothing would hit the floor. But it would be fast.

"Goodnight," she said softly, turning from his bed. Her heart leapt into her throat as she felt his scorching touch through her blouse. She let him pull her so she faced him.

"Stay," he rasped. He could tell that she was close to refusing him completely. He hated rejection. Mostly because it rarely happened to him. And almost all of the times it was, it was from her. He hated it when she turned away from him. But right now he needed her. He wasn't about to admit it, but it was true. And he knew that she knew it was true.

He felt her hand start to slid from his. He grasped tighter. She didn't try to pull away this time. She just stared into his eyes.

"Blair," he said darkly. "You don't want me to run away again, do you?"

Damn him. He knew her too well. And guilt was just one of the ways he could manipulate her. She glowered. She could tell when he was pulling one over her. The difference was that she let him. And sometimes, she really hated him for it. "So make me stay."

"I hate it when you do that."

He graced her with one smug smirk. "I know." He pulled her lightly by the hand. It wasn't enough to bring her to his side, but it was enough for her. It was just enough. She sat on the edge of the bed, wary of what his plans were for her. Because she knew no matter what they were, she would be powerless to stop them. He was unfair that way.

"Just stay."

She knew he would valiantly deny that was pleading in his voice, but she would always know.

"Just stay with me."

She laid her head on the pillow next to his, never breaking the gaze they seemed entrapped in. She thought she was finally safe when his eyes drifted close. She let her own eyes start to droop.

She should have known better. She could have seen this one coming. She was so stupid.

Sure enough, that was his heated breath on the shoulder that her blouse seemed to drift off of. She clenched her eyes shut, not wanting to face the reality of when she opened them. But she had to. She did and his face was pressed against her hair, breathing her in. She wished he wasn't so influential over her but that was just something that she had to deal with. Something that she always had to deal with.

"Chuck," she warned.

She shouldn't have said anything.

He took this as encouragement and leaned towards her. Her eyes snapped shut again just as his hot breath caressed her lips. She ordered herself not to reciprocate, but a kiss from Chuck Bass was a kiss from Chuck Bass and she foolhardily found herself responding.

She shouldn't have. Whenever she was with him she just made bad decisions. She let him touch her. She let herself love him. He trailed across her cheek and down the delicate curve of her alabaster neck.

She felt those traitorous tears prick her vision. She wanted so badly to give in to him. It would be so easy. She would let him corrupt her so easily. But she just couldn't. She felt herself pulling away. He got the message but was resistant to stopping. He leaned into her hair again.

"I missed you, Waldorf," he said huskily into her ear.

"I'm staying so you don't hurt yourself again," she reminded him. He finally allowed himself to pull away.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into the pillow. She knew he was close to just fading into slumber. He just needed someone. He needed her.

"It's okay," she assured him. Once again. She let her fingers encircle the back of his neck, pulling him into an embrace that was too painfully reminiscent and familiar. But he let himself be held by her again, if only for a little while.

"I miss you too," she said to someone who couldn't hear her anymore.

* * *

It was hard. But no one said that Chuck Bass was easy (even when in other ways he was.) It wasn't easy taking a deep breath, looking in the mirror and walking out the front door. And wasn't easy getting him breakfast. And it sure as hell wasn't easy knocking on his door to see that his crude uncle standing the in the doorway. All of these mundane tasks would have been fine if not for one minute detail. She was completely in love with the man she was doing them for and she couldn't do a thing about it.

Chuck was fragile right now. She knew that there was only one person who could take care of him (and this did not involve his middle aged uncle.) The problem wasn't that. The problem was looking into his eyes every day and not succumbing to the one thing she wished she could. She wished the passion could overtake her again. But it just wasn't possible. Not now. Not when he needed her the most.

Blair started subtley when it wasn't the Bass she was hoping for in the doorway. Jack cast an amused yet stomach churning (not in the good way) look at her as he leaned in the doorway.

"Can I help you?"

"Not you," she replied. "Last time I checked it wasn't your dead father who owned the hotel."

"My dead brother," he corrected.

"Where is he?"

They both knew she wasn't talking about Bart.

"He's not presentable at the moment," Jack said coolly.

"I have seen Chuck in states you wouldn't believe," Blair said in annoyance, pushing past him into the room.

"I'm sure you have."

From the tone in his voice, Blair knew he wasn't just talking about drunken night escapades on rooftops. Maybe she wasn't either. She walked through the living area which was conspiratorially filled with empty amber glasses. He really was a great influence.

She stopped as she saw his form sprawled underneath his covers, breathing in and out evenly. She knew it was the first time he had really slept for a month and she couldn't move to him. She felt Jack's lurking presence behind her so she proceeded. She put the bag with the breakfast she knew that he wasn't having (once again, thank you Jack for your amazing parenting skills) and turned on her heel.

She cast a glowering look at Jack, and edged by him. She didn't want to encourage anything.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Looks like you've got everything handled," Blair said snidely. She hope he understood the sarcasm in her voice. So much that she didn't comprehend the slight stirring in the bed at the smell of the food. And maybe even the smell of something else.

* * *

Chuck could sleep with the dead. He had always been a very heavy sleeper. He couldn't count the number of times he had awaken in his bed only to find the scent of her embedded in his sheets as the only proof that she had ever graced him with her presence and body at all.

Since Bart had died, he had never slept a full night of rest. He was an insomniac to begin with. The slightest fluttering in his stomach made sure that he stayed up all night with serious thoughts on what "like" meant. But after the funeral it was that much worse.

For some reason, however, after that night, all he wanted to do was sleep. The way her arms had folded him like he belonged next to her was the most comforting thing he had ever experienced.

His eyes fluttered open at the stirring in his stomach. It wasn't the annoying butterfly kind. At first. His eyes shifted over to see a bag on the table next to the bed with the scent of the food wafting towards him. He hadn't had solid food for over a month. It seemed she always knew what was best for him.

He knew it was her. Because after he got over the scent of the food, he could smell the remains of her perfume. He struggled to disentangle himself from his sheets with vigor. His strength was seriously waning. He lurched to his feet, following where he knew she had disappeared to.

Jack was leaning against the counter. Chuck could only assume what it was that he was drinking. And what was he doing here again? Chuck narrowed his eyes when he heard the door close softly.

"Jack," was all Chuck needed to say. His eyes strayed for the door again.

"You just missed her." Chuck didn't like that look on his uncle's face. "I guess she didn't want to stick around."

Like hell.

Chuck pulled the door open. He knew the truth. She wasn't even down the hallway yet, like she was stalling her steps. He reached out and grasped her forearm, turning her to him. She looked vaguely surprised but still pulled gently from him.

"Chuck," she said. It wasn't like the last time she said his name when he was teetering on the edge of a building. It was like how she used to say it. When she would push his hair from his face, tracing the hard angles of his bone structure. He liked it when she said it like that.

"Hey," he replied. He watched her fidget slightly. Awkward silences. "Blair--"

"So Jack seems to be taking an active role in your life," Blair interrupted. He knew she was just avoiding the topic that he always seemed to stir up.

"I don't even know what he's doing here," he answered honestly. Then he looked at her. "Did you..."

"No," she shook her head. "Like I would encourage that trainwreck of an excuse for a potential guardian."

"Blair..." he tried again.

"It's okay."

She already knew what he was going to say.

"No," he said. "It's not. You know that I didn't mean... It was just a bad night."

"That may actually be the best apology I've ever heard from you," she smirked. He smiled back at her. He was glad that his Blair was back. Even if it wasn't exactly the way he wished it was.

"I wish I could be better for you," he suddenly said honestly.

"Chuck," she shook her head. It seemed like their roles were suddenly reversed. Now it was Chuck who was the mess and she shouldn't be taking advantage of his vulnerable state. But he did it to her. Not that she wasn't totally asking for it, because she knew she was. He just had that effect on her.

"My father's will is being read," he said.

That really wasn't what she was expecting.

"Oh," she said in surprise.

"I don't want to go alone."

"Won't Jack and Lily be there?"

She knew that wasn't really what he was hinting at.

"Lily's in Boston," he replied. "God knows why. And you're not exactly the biggest Jack supporter."

"Are you?" she asked.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "When you don't like someone, I just find it that much easier to doubt them. You've always had the best instincts."

"If you don't want to go alone..."

"I just thought you should know," Chuck shrugged. Blair knew that he could never really ask her. He wasn't like that.

"Well if you want support, who better than me?" she asked lightly. He smirked slightly at this and nodded.

"Then I'll see you there," he promised. "In the meantime you can decide where we're having dinner."

"Dinner?" she repeated. He knew it wasn't in detestation. He liked it when she wanted to go out with him.

"We're having dinner after the will is read," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Wear something nice."

"I can't believe you'd ever doubt me, Bass," she replied.

"I'm taking that as a yes."

"I didn't know that you were asking," she retorted.

"Waldorf," he said as she was about to leave. "You know... what happened that night..."

"It's fine."

She was smiling for real this time.

"You'll find a way to make it up to me at dinner."

He watched her leave in satisfaction, thinking of the ways he would really, really make it up to her, not feeling his uncle's cruel eyes all over him.

**Comparisons**

_Giving the company to a teenager who can't keep his pecker in his pants for 24 hours._

_At least I can keep mine in service for longer than five minutes._

It wasn't anything special. In fact, if she wasn't so nauseated by the drugs, alcohol, and self loathing, not to mention the fact that he was at least twice her age, it would have been kind of funny. It didn't last long at all. She thought that maybe the Bass stamina was a family trait or something but it was becoming clearer and clearer to her that Chuck was one of a kind. She knew this all along, she just wished he was still by her side to prove it to her.

Instead, she got the knock-off Chuck in the form of Jack Bass. The last two letters weren't enough to replace the first three that were just different. After she vomited and he left, she dreamt of the person she wished she had bedded.

She knew her mother was worried. She spent all day holed up in her room and Cyrus must have told her what she told him after Chuck fled for the first time (but not the last) after the wake. And all she could think of was the unhealthy thing that she shouldn't be.

He would leer at her in his subconscious and scowl the way he did when she wasn't paying him any attention. She wished she could reach forward and touch the rough and hard angles of his face but knew that if she did, he would just vanish, the way he always vanished.

_You're perfect._

She tried to ignore his voice as she stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't want him in the back of her mind when she was forcing her fingers down her throat while thinking of why he could never ever love her. Why no one could.

It was hopeless.

She couldn't sleep at midnight. It was the anniversary of her self destruction. It was one night turned into morning and a new year had become. And yet she was crying in a hotel room about letting some decrepit and disgusting man touch her. She would just imagine who she hoped it would be. But the comparison was futile. It was just so different, there was no way she could compare it.

_You feel so good._

She wished she could still hear his dirty and beautiful utterances in her ear. Now, it was just greedy and self centered grunts that she had to block out at night so she didn't relive the nightmare. She was an insomniac. She couldn't sleep at midnight. It was when she tore herself apart, letting another man split her.

And it wasn't even worth it.

That first night with Chuck was something she would never forget. It wasn't mainly because (though this was a big part) she lost her virginity that night. It was because she realized something that she should have before. When Serena had skipped town there was really only one person who was there for her, who got her. His best friend was absent too, if not physically. He knew what it was like to have an absent father, if not physically. And he knew what it was like to have a parent who would never support or accept you, very physically.

She didn't have a boyfriend really and he didn't really have a best friend. They had each other and it was the first time that she saw him. She just didn't know it.

Now she was staring at him staring at her and while all of this staring was occurring was going around, she made the snap decision and suddenly her virginity was only a memory. The memory was snap, but the event itself... that was very languid and drawn out. Not in the painful way. It was the way he could manipulate her made it feel like she wasn't in pain at all. He could always make her think things that weren't true.

And then she saw him. She had tried so long to convince herself that he wasn't for her. She tried to think that she didn't love him. She pulled away so harshly because even in that first night, she knew something had changed drastically. It wasn't that she had suddenly turned into a nympho, not being able to resist being with him without stripping her clothes off her body or that sensually seductive way he would look, or even just breathe, licking his lips in anticipation of what they both knew was what was to occur. It was inevitable. They were inevitable.

He taught her things she sometimes didn't even want to remember. But she even prided herself in thinking that maybe she was the only woman he was ever this way with. She never asked because she didn't really want to know the truth. What if she was wrong? But now he was gone and none of that really mattered anymore. Maybe it never did.

It wasn't the sex.

Or... it wasn't _just_ the sex. She loved the way his eyes worshiped her and yet devoured her at the same time. He knew her in ways no one else ever did or ever could. And it lasted hell of a lot longer than five minutes. It was eternities of ecstasy, her riding some wave that had no chance of breaking. And he did it with her. He did everything with her. And now... he was just gone. He didn't love her. Never had, never would.

But that couldn't stop her from endlessly loving him. It was impossible. She was sure he knew this. She didn't know how to make it any more clear. Maybe it was a little convoluted by letting his own uncle touch her, but he didn't know about that. Not yet at least. And they were always ahead of the learning curve. They weren't like others. That's why they felt so right. They were just so... good.

She would vomit when she saw Jack now, as though she could smell his nauseating scent all over her again. But Chuck would grace her with even one look, and she would fall to pieces. He would smirk and he was her Chuck again. She couldn't ask for anything more.

She could ask for him to grace her bed again, but maybe he would say yes. And maybe this whole heartbreaking cycle would just start all over again.

And it would be worth it.

_You're worth it._

She could only imagine the possibilities he was referring to.

_I know._

When it came to him, she was always sure.

_Self absorption looks hot on you, Waldorf._

She couldn't stop the burning embarrassment spread down her neck as he followed the trail with his fingers.

_Likewise, Bass._

He would smirk because he knew it was true.

That confidence wasn't with him anymore. It was when he would smile that secret smile that only she was aware that was in existence. But now it was gone. Maybe it flew to Thailand. Maybe it could tell her where he was. Maybe she could feel again.

He could read her body like no one else. They fit each other like they were made for one another. She always strayed from thoughts like those because it could only lead to her own destruction. Chuck didn't roll that way and she would never admit it to him. She didn't roll that way. But he was gone and it didn't really matter any more, now did it?

It wasn't the eons of heavenly bliss that he sent her into. It was the fact that he deigned to do so at all on purpose. And it was the fact that five minutes with a grotesque shattered image of love inside her sent her reeling with self mutilation. It wasn't the time it took. It was that Chuck was there when no one else was. Now he never would be again.

_I love you._

If only he could hear her. Maybe he would come back.

**Wife**

_Today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world._

When Blair used to think about getting married, it was arranged. It was arranged since she was small. Eleanor and the Captain (with input from Anne) thought it would just be darling if their children were betrothed. Not to mention amazing if they merged their genes.

There was one defining moment when that was all over. She put on that gaudy Vanderbilt ring and cringed. Maybe being married to Nate wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it would be a cold marriage bed, but she could always count on him to be dependable. But that was it.

She slid off the heavy ring to never see it again.

And then she lost her virginity.

That was the point. Wife was just a title. She didn't like how it sounded as it rolled around on her tongue. Because she would never be Nathaniel Archibald's wife. Not of her own volition, at least. Now, her future married life looked bleak. This was for one reason and one reason only.

Chuck Bass wasn't the marrying type. She was 18. She shouldn't be thinking about these things. But all she could bear to do was look into the future and see Charles Bartholomew Bass and nothing else. She knew things were spiraling horridly out of control between them. But they would never be friends again. That went out of the tinted limousine window as her cries crested against leather. That was just gone.

They would either be enemies or lovers, but there was no in between. There was no mutual acquaintances. There was no warm friendship. It was either scalding hot or cold revenge. There was nothing else. There just wasn't.

She couldn't lie that she harbored those secret fantasies. She looked at her mother finally being happy for the first time since Harold decided moving to France with his gay lover was in style. And when Blair thought about it, maybe there was that man out there for her. Maybe there was a man that would come home from work at 6. He wouldn't be popping pills and snorting coke. Hookers wouldn't be hanging off of him and lecherous innuendos wouldn't taint his lips.

But that just meant that his name wouldn't be Chuck Bass. He would be healthy for her. He would love her dearly and that would be enough. It would be enough if she had never met Chuck Bass. If she had never met the other half of her soul.

She didn't care how it sounded. She was a romantic and that's how it was for her. He may be a cynic, but when he was with her, he was as romantic as could be. He was romantic for Chuck Bass and that was only when he was with her.

When she looked into the future, maybe she would see an adoring husband. But he wouldn't know all of her. Not the way only one person could. She would settle for second best. The very best, but second best nonetheless. Maybe she could live with it if Chuck could just leave her alone.

She didn't want him to. He looked up at her with scantily clad women all around him, sneering, and she still wanted to do good by him. She still wanted to make him happy more than anything. He wasn't healthy. He wasn't going to change. He would going to self destruct, combust right in front of her and she couldn't do a thing to stop it.

She couldn't watch it anymore either. And that was that.

He did the unforgivable. He did something that she had to turn away from. He seethed around the word wife and she knew it was an end. It wasn't that he wasn't the marrying type or he thought the word wife was insulting. It was that he didn't see himself with her ever again and she couldn't handle it.

Looking into his eyes would be her downfall. She wanted him forever. He would never get boring. He would always know her. He was better than anyone even when he was at his worst. She didn't need to get married. She would happy with him just at her side for the rest of her life. Teenagers didn't think like that, but Chuck and Blair were the forever kind. It was hard and it was difficult but it was the truth.

She knew looking into his eyes of entrapment, she would just break. She would accept his peonies with himself wrapped around him and let him back into her heart. She would bend over backwards and break again and everything would be fine. Even when it wasn't.

Looking at him would be her downfall.

She secretly wanted to keep them. She knew that would break her too. She needed to sever all ties from him for the sole fact that once he wormed his way back into her life, no matter how much he was decaying what she was housed in, she would let it crumble around her. She would revel in the rubble and grind the pleasure right from her willing body. It was unhealthy and it was wrong but it had happened so many times before.

She just couldn't.

She threw them at his feet. They were beautiful. They were precious. They were perfect. Just like him. But for now, she just couldn't. Not when he hated himself. Not when he hated her. His wife. Because that was what she would be, forever and always.

Only when the elevators closed did she let the held back tears truly wound her face for real. It wasn't that she didn't want to be his wife, be his everything. It was that when he looked into tomorrow, it was possible that he didn't even see her there.


	49. You've Got Yale Part I

**A/N**: The first section was mostly based on my previous and early knowledge Gilmore Girls (the other GG.) I used to watch it all the time, so sorry for all the blatant references and my opinions channeled through Blair.

**Summary**: She had been so confused lately. Especially with the fights her parents had and the absence of those who mattered, she couldn't understand it. For the first time in her life, she couldn't decode the look in his eye when he stared at her.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. Quotes belong to Gossip Girl and Gilmore Girls also does not belong to me. Also, I have never seen Aida, but I am pretty sure it's an opera.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Gilmore Girls**_

_This is what I needed to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink._

_We know. We heard you watching _Gilmore Girls_ all night. Again._

Blair couldn't remember the last time she actually slept more than three hours. She didn't count on turning into an insomniac. That was more his department. There were choice moments when she would allow herself succumb to sleep. His steady breathing lulled her and even though she knew she shouldn't be in his bed, letting the sweet scent of his love drench her, she fell asleep anyway. But whenever she would awake, so would he. She never caught him sleeping himself.

_I haven't slept. I feel like there's something in my stomach... fluttering._

But that couldn't be because of her. It wasn't like that. She would catch him though, his nose buried into her hair when her eyes drifted close. Sometimes she would open them, and he was just there. Not even trying. Just never sleeping. He would just stare at her with that gaze of liquid seduction and she felt sorry. She wondered what it was.

Soon, they didn't even bother with sleep. He would trace the freckles on her collarbone and she knew that he wished she would. It made him feel uncomfortable when she would stare at him in the way he would stare at her.

He wasn't one for talking either. Not like that. But she caught him sighing with contentment at her soft words. He would even close his eyes.

And that's when it all went to hell.

So when she turned away from him again, only letting tears fall when she was sure the elevator had closed, she didn't think his malady would plague her. But she supposed that was her punishment for turning away from him when he needed her the most because of her own weakness.

Now she could only console herself with the epic love that was Rory and Jess. She knew this was out of character for her. She liked Dean at first, sure. He was nice and easy to manipulate (not that Rory would ever stoop that low.) And Logan seemed her type. Womanizing rich kid with an inheritance to his father's company. That made sense, didn't it? But you really couldn't underestimate the power of falling for someone who just knew you better than anyone. And said so. And knew this.

Jess knew how to get at Rory. He used women to inspire her jealousy but had standards. As much as he wanted her, he would never cheat with her on her trusting boyfriend. And you had to respect that.

Blair hated how Jess didn't say anything about his father and his problems and just bailed. But that struck a chord with her anyway. God knows why.

A romantic side of her wished Rory had left with Jess when he asked her to as Blair cried at his retreating form. (This wasn't familiar, either.) But he came back. He always came back. And that was something to be admired. He knew when she was compromising herself for a man and told her he knew her better than anyone.

He knew when her birthday was.

Blair was filled with self-loathing as she watched it. And the one moment when Rory could have left the cheating bastard to be with her soul's mate... she just didn't. She had wanted to throw something at the screen but now when she watched it, she couldn't really blame Rory. Some things just happened and when you wanted to desperately to be with someone... you just couldn't. She couldn't leave Logan because she loved him.

And Blair hated her for it. It didn't make sense for her to be hating a fictional character on the CW for not being with the man that everyone knew she had to be with, but she hated her all the same.

She heard the phone call her mother made to her father in the middle of the night. It was right after Eleanor found the order for peonies Blair had made on her credit card at two in the morning and found her crying herself to sleep on the bathroom floor. Luckily, the pipes weren't running and Blair didn't need another trip to her doctor.

But there was a call made her to father. As soon as Blair was gathered into Harold's arms, she knew that he knew. She knew what it looked like and it looked bad. She never cried this hard over Nate and it didn't make any sense. But her father just knew.

"It's alright," he assured her soothingly.

"I don't know where I went wrong," she whispered into his arm. She wasn't sure if her father could hear her.

He could.

"I just wanted to be there. And he wouldn't let me. I just wanted him to love me."

She knew how pathetic she sounded. Crying over a stupid boy who refused to give her his heart. Selfish bastard. She didn't say the name. But it was obvious. To Harold, at least.

"He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve, darling," Harold replied. "He's not Nate. You know that."

"I don't _want_ Nate," Blair groaned in annoyance, highly aware of the moisture seeping from her eyes. "Why can't anyone see that?"

"He's going through a hard time," Harold said. "Just talk to him."

"He doesn't need me," Blair whispered. "Doesn't want me. Never has, never will."

"I highly doubt that."

Blair decided not to listen. She let her father place her into bed and she cried again for week straight. Then she was bone dry. She refused to cry over her boy anymore.

But she absolutely wept when Jess finally told Rory that he loved her.

And left again.

**Tragedy**

_Is Chuck joining us? You know how he loves a good tragedy._

Blair wasn't stupid. She saw it. But she was also very good at denial. Which is why she cried when her father packed his bags and left for France with Roman. But before that, everything was different. Everything was different because Serena was gone, Nate was gone, and her new best friend was a womanizing bastard. And as much as she hated it, she needed him right now. She was starting to admit to herself that this might be the last time she would go to the opera with her father. And somehow the only person who would understand was currently getting laid in the womens' bathroom.

Bastard.

"So," her father said in the lobby, breaking Blair from her venomous thoughts. "No Nate tonight?" She tore her eyes away from the bathroom door.

"No," she said. "No Nate tonight."

_Or ever. _

She could feel him slowly slipping away. She knew he was fading but Blair was never played for a fool. But she felt one. Standing there, she knew she was losing.

"So there's an extra ticket?" Harold asked in interest.

"No," Blair sighed, not able to believe she was about to say what she was about to say. "I brought someone else."

If there was one thing you could say about Chuck Bass, it was that he could make an entrance. Sure enough, seconds after Harold's question, Blair didn't even have a chance to answer. Chuck stumbled out of the womens' bathroom, smoothing his pants down. Scandalized society matrons followed him with their eyes as Harold laughed softly. Chuck would worry any other parent, but parents never acted like Blair's father. He didn't know discipline. But he knew Chuck took care of his daughter.

"Chuck," Harold extended his hand warmly.

"Harold," Chuck nodded. His chanced a sidelong glance over at the girl next to him. His heart spiked at her angry glance. He always got excited when they went head to head. But Harold's perfect daughter would never do anything like that in front of her father.

Chuck smirked down at her and couldn't resist. He slid a suave hand across her bare shoulders. He felt her stiffen beneath his touch and he tried to suppress laughter.

Harold didn't miss it. But he didn't seem worried, either. He wasn't one for the difficult conversations.

"I'm surprised to see you here tonight," Harold said conversationally.

"Well you know what a fan I am of tragedy," Chuck replied. "_Aida_ is one of the best."

"It's a romantic tragedy," Blair replied snidely. "Not really what you're best known for."

Chuck laughed slightly, tightening his grip across her shoulders. If her father wasn't standing there, he was sure he definitely would have received a sharp elbow to the gut.

"Speaking of which," Harold interrupted the tension. "Ever think of settling down with a nice girl?"

Chuck laughed gently. Blair suddenly felt heat flash across her shoulders. What was that about?

"I don't think there's a girl in existence who could appreciate my magnificence," Chuck said unrepentantly. Not that it was very hard to make her father laugh, but it still made Blair's stomach churn. She didn't like them getting along. She didn't know why, she just didn't.

"Besides," he said, leaning even closer into her, "how could I take Blair out if I was tied down to some girl?"

"I have a boyfriend," Blair snapped without being able to stop herself. Obviously he knew but she didn't like how Chuck's dark eyes scanned her like he owned her. Like he could see right through her and just knew her. No one was allowed to look at her like that.

"Not tonight, Waldorf," Chuck whispered huskily against her ear. He ignored the obvious sniff as she whirled away. Chuck looked at his shoes, now fidgeting alone in Harold's presence.

"It's good of you to look after her like that," Harold said. Chuck narrowed his eyes, trying to see. But there was no manipulation in Harold's eyes. There was no trace of his daughter. He was being completely sincere.

"She hasn't really been herself lately."

Chuck couldn't tell him the truth. Harold was so innocent, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't tell him that the reason acid was rotting her molars was because of him. Even if the next comment did catch him off guard.

"But you take care of her."

"What?" Chuck blurted in surprise. Because it wasn't true. It most definitely was not true. "Blair does not need my help."

"She acts like she doesn't," Harold replied, clapping him on the shoulder, "but you give it to her anyway. I appreciate it."

Chuck stared after the patriarch of the Waldorf clan as he walked off. His eyes trained back to Blair who was currently at the bar. Just because they were each other's default best friend didn't mean anything. Quite the opposite, really. Just because he picked her up off the bathroom floor and she nursed his hangovers didn't mean a god damn thing. But he couldn't for the life of his figure why he was walking towards her to monitor her alcohol intake. It wasn't like he cared or anything.

No. He didn't care.

That much.

* * *

The lights began to flicker as she knocked back something with a blurry label. Her father was none the wiser. He never knew the things she did in the dark. Anymore. He never seemed to notice how she still cringingly still made herself more beautiful. No one really noticed anymore.

She felt him at her elbow. He wouldn't say anything, she knew. That didn't stop him from being annoyingly everpresent. She felt his tender fingers on her elbow, silently begging her something that she could never really deliver.

"You go," she told him.

"Blair," he breathed. She really hated it when he said her name like that. She used to wonder, but now she knew exactly how he got women into bed with him.

"Chuck," she replied, only letting him see her vulnerability for a second. "Please."

He could never deny her when she was like that. He sighed, only admitting defeat when she looked at him like that and waited.

He would always wait for her.

Blair couldn't find it in herself to turn around as she felt him retreat. She had been so confused lately. Especially with the fights her parents had and the absence of those who mattered, she couldn't understand it. For the first time in her life, she couldn't decode the look in his eye when he stared at her. She resolved that she would just have to stop looking him in the face. Which was a shame. She hated that she thought it was a shame. She hated how she actually enjoyed looking at his face.

But when he was the only one there for her, she just couldn't accept it. She couldn't understand how some boozing attention-whore was the person who could nurse her back from the brink. But he was. That didn't mean she had to accept it just yet. Or ever. That didn't mean that she had to address how when their eyes met, she just couldn't look away.

Instead, she took a deep breath as the lights began to flicker. She would be strong. If not for anyone else, for herself. Because if there was one thing she was good at, it was pretending.

She pretended all the way down the hall when she saw something she knew was happening. She knew what it was, but that didn't mean that she had ever seen it. And she never wanted to. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt the tears overwhelm her. She clapped her hand over her mouth to stop her cries from spilling out.

And she ran.

Her orange dress fluttered around her ankles as she bolted down the lobby. The back turned to hers could only be ones person's as he downed a flute of champagne.

He was waiting for her.

He was always waiting for her.

Any other time, he wouldn't have turned. Any other time he would have been trying to convince himself that he didn't want her and that she truly hated him after terrible things he had said to her. But now he knew she was falling apart and he couldn't think of anything else. At the sound of her heels pounding on the floor Chuck turned.

She felt his penetrating gaze that made her halt in her tracks. Before he could even address what was happening, he saw Harold emerge from around the corner.

He was adjusting his tie.

Chuck looked at Blair's distraught expression and knew exactly what had happened. He watched her as her hands trembled slightly when her father put his hand on her shoulder, leading her to their boxes.

Chuck put himself in between Harold and his daughter. He knew Blair was fragile and could only handle so much at the moment.

The lights dimmed and Blair looked up at the presence on her knee. He wasn't using his bedroom eyes at her. He wasn't trying to seduce her. He just wanted her to be okay and she knew this. They stayed like that for as long as they could. He never took away his comforting touch and for some reason, she just seemed to keep needing it.

It was during the mournful aria did Blair really break down. Her father was so entranced by the magic that he didn't notice. Blair let the tears stream down her face and her throat choke with sobs that was drowned out by the soprano. Chuck did the only thing he knew how to do.

They had to get out.

They had to run.

And surprisingly, he did feel the need to take care of her.

He shifted her hair from her ear so he could whisper in it. He felt her tense under his touch. He should have expected as much.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

He was giving her a choice. He was letting her decide to leave with him. She could stay and pretend that there was nothing wrong. She could pretend and she could stay and Chuck would be none the wiser... even if he was.

In a moment, everything changed. In that moment for the first time, Blair decided to trust him.

That didn't mean that she would stop being Blair.

"I thought you loved a good tragedy," Blair said dryly, her ruby lips at his ear.

That tremor through his body was definitely due to the cold temperature in the opera house. No other explanation.

"Not this kind," he sighed as he brushed away her tears.

And she let him.

"Not this one."


	50. You've Got Yale Part II

**A/N**: The first section is sort of a throwback to another fic I did, but I just couldn't resist. So Spoiler Alert, if you've read Trust Me, Lover, be prepared. Its not completely the same but there are distinct similarities. I also couldn't help adding something from the only scene that Chuck and Blair were in the same frame. It makes no sense, but you have been forwarned.

**Summary**: Blair had never even accepted the consideration that she was being seduced. When you're being seduced, you don't realize it. That's the whole point. But usually someone realizes they're seducing you. The Devil would realize what he was doing.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes and awesomeness belong to GG. Only the words (that are not quotes) are mine. Yeah, I usually update before the newest eppie of GG primeirs that Monday but I totdally forgot. Not that any of you are waiting with baited breath. Here it is anyway.

* * *

**Patience and Trust**

_I know that patience and trust aren't necessarily your strong suits, but you'll just have to rise to the occasion._

Blair turned away, the breath from her body literally stolen. She clutched the frame of the door, unable to force oxygen into her lungs. She didn't know what was happening to her. She had panic attacks when she was younger, but none of them had ever even come close to comparing to this.

She had cried when Nate told her about the Shepard Wedding, but this was something else entirely. This wasn't obligation or merging deals. This was what her heart felt. For a time, she was sure it was only what her body felt. But as she turned away from the familiar groans, she felt that her heart was literally sick. Sick from the groans that for the first time, she was hearing without herself in the room.

_"Blair."_

She heard his panicked voice and the rustling of clothing accompanied by a rushed zipper being pulled upwards. Usually, at the single syllable of her name, he could get her to do anything. Now all she wanted to do was run.

Her heels clicked frantically down the staircase as she heard him in hot pursuit. She pushed right by Serena, practically knocking Humphrey to the ground (not that she cared.) She finally found relief when she pushed the double glass doors to the open air of the townhouse where the garden lay. Thankfully, the bushes were right there. She keeled over and vomited.

The throat seared as she expelled the hot, burning, acidic liquid. She put her shaking hands on the cool grass, trying to calm herself. She had no idea why it was her heart this time and not her fingers that made her stomach churn.

* * *

"What the hell?"

Chuck suppressed the urge to groan. He so did not have time for this. He felt a steel grip stop him in his tracks as he tried to press himself outside. Serena fell back a couple steps and forced him to turn to face navy judgment in her eyes.

"Do you mind?" he snapped at similar dark ones, watching with horrified interest. He wasn't going to accept a beat down from a van der Woodsen while a Humphrey was witness.

"What did you do?" Serena demanded. His lips curled sardonically in a sneer that he had perfected since he was four.

"What's it to you?"

Like hell he was going to express remorse to someone who shouldn't even be privy to this party.

"She's my best friend," Serena retorted. "If you hurt her..."

"Save your breath," Chuck growled. He seized the hand that was clasped over his arm and pulled her roughly to him so he could whisper savagely. "Don't make the mistake of thinking you have any power in this."

He released her when he saw her looking over his shoulder. He turned and there she was. Dark eyes penetrated his as she leaned against the door frame, her arms crossed over her chest. She was eying him with an unreadable expression and he advanced on her.

Before Blair could even think of escape, he caught her by surprise and she was trapped.

"Blair, listen," he commanded, holding her forearms. She struggled with a slight grunt, trying extricate herself.

"Serena?" she asked him coolly. "Really, Chuck?"

Stung with surprise and confusion, Chuck just stood there and Blair pushed him aside as she escaped. He turned to see that Serena and her new boytoy were nowhere in sight.

Well, there was that.

* * *

Blair had to catch her breath around the corner, forcing herself to breathe deeply now that his intoxicating scent wasn't all around her. Now she could breathe without losing at the same time. She turned to the mirror in the hallway and righted her perfected curls with trembling hands. Ice met coal and she shuddered.

"Blair," Serena sighed. "I thought..."

"That I wasn't so stupid?" Blair laughed bitterly. "Yeah, me too."

"I'm so sorry--"

"Save it, Serena," Blair said shortly. "I just want to be alone right now."

He always found her when she was alone.

Always.

Then coal met coal and her heart was on fire again. This time all of her feelings and doubt weren't going to come up in a volume of acid. This time her heart would spawn verbal barbs that he deserved.

"Look what we have here," he said darkly as he slunk into her dark corner. Her eyes narrowed. She wasn't expecting this. Usually people just fell to her feet for forgiveness when they wronged her. The repercussions would be too great if they did not.

"All alone again, Waldorf?"

He was not doing this.

She didn't like it.

"Through no fault of my own," she seethed.

He took another dangerous step towards her. She would not back down this time. She would not back down ever.

Suddenly he was clutching her close and his lips were searing hers.

This was not something she had expected. Nate certainly never went this way. She supposed it was the element of surprise. That was it. She was in shock. She couldn't move, couldn't very well breathe.

For about a second.

Then she brought her stiletto to his shin and he grunted in surprise. She had to admire him for the fact, however, that he never let go.

"That hurt," he growled into her ear. Despite stating the obvious, her heart fluttered. He had nerve. No one had nerve against her. She tried to pull away to no avail. He didn't let go, but looked into her eyes, glare for glare.

"What do you think you're doing?" she found herself asking evenly.

"I should ask you the same question," he breathed. "I don't remember when you've been so cruel to me. As a matter of fact, our last... encounters left very _pleasurable_ impressions in my mind. Not to mention other places."

"Ugh," Blair said in disgust, finally finding the ability to shrug him off. She spun around to meet his gaze again. "You're a pig."

He never looked affronted and it infuriated her to no end. He kept advancing on her and she kept finding herself... not backing away.

"You'll have to be more specific," he said throatily. She hated that tone.

"You know what you did," she spat. She closed her eyes as he stroked the side of her face. She wished he couldn't just melt her anger away.

"Enlighten me," he rasped in her ear.

"How could you?" she demanded, snapping out of it. He took a step away from her biting words but still never backed down.

"How could I what?" he asked.

"How could you?--"

"How could I let that girl pleasure me when we're not in a monogamous relationship?" he bit out. She stopped herself from recoiling.

"We're not in a relationship at all," she countered. She liked how his eyes darkened at this. "Isn't that what you said? What you're thinking?"

It was her that was advancing on him now as she watched his jaw twitch.

"This isn't anything, right?" she asked softly as his back hit the wall. "But then again, that would be sort of hypocritical, wouldn't it?"

He raised his chin as she continued.

"Or was that someone else who glares at his best friend every chance he can get when he thinks I'm not looking?"

Chuck's eyes snapped to hers and she claimed victory.

"You're jealous," he said instead.

"I'm jealous?" she sneered. "So what if I went over to Nate right now and told him to take me on the balcony right now?"

She wasn't aware how she had suddenly ended up in his arms again, but Chuck clenched her almost painfully with possession. "Don't you dare."

"You're jealous," she echoed, stepping away from him lightly.

"What do you want me to say?"

She didn't like that look in his eyes.

"An opportunity presented itself."

Blair scowled at the hurt that bloomed through her chest. She did something that she knew was the only power in her to do. She advanced on him again.

"And you just rose to the occasion," she said, her body heat against his, "didn't you?"

"Maybe," he countered. "Or maybe I was thinking of you the whole time."

"And why would you do that?" Blair asked, her fingers making the trip down to the buttons on her blouse where she slowly started popping them out of their holes, "when you could have just had me?"

She watched in satisfaction as his gaze dipped.

"Because I never said that I was monogamous," he said, hating himself for it. Instead of the hurt he expected to spread across her delicate features she just nodded. His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Neither did I," she said confidently, taking steps away. He realized what she was doing and he couldn't stop himself.

"You belong to me," he said, reaching out and pulled her harshly into his body. He didn't mean for it to come out. It shouldn't have. It compromised everything. He knew this especially when the sting of her hand shocked the side of his face.

He hated the sort of possessive and jealous person he had become. He used to not give a damn. He was turning into one of those... boyfriends. Shudder at the thought.

Blair shoved him off of her body.

Knowing Blair, she was always full of surprises. Instead of running like she was so prone to do, she did something else entirely. Her fingers suddenly dug into the front of his shirt and ripped it open savagely.

Chuck couldn't help but smirking in pleasure, even if he did sneak a look over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming.

Their hips were aligned, her arms locked around his neck as he pulled her up. She groaned as her back hit the staircase leading upwards and he descended upon her.

"So I guess we're exclusive now," he said into her ear as he was sure his clothing would come off at an alarming rate at this point. He growled at the feel of her yanking up the back of his hear by his hair.

"If I even see you with anyone else, I will ruin you," she vowed, her voice thick with want.

"Trust me," he said with the hint of a smile. "They don't even compare to you."

"Because I won't wait for you."

"No," he agreed. "You're far too perfect for that."

They were lucky that no one had a sudden whim to come up or down the stairs for the next couple of hours.

**The Devil**

_I hate having to play the angel._

_I know. The devil is so much better._

Blair always thought she knew the difference between right and wrong; good and evil. It was just logical. What was right was right and what was wrong was wrong. Good was light and pure. Bad was dark and evil.

Suddenly, she wasn't so sure anymore. There was a game that they played as children. She would always laugh at the dark suggestions Chuck had whispered in her ear at Serena's reproachful eye but nodded at Serena's light statements.

Even from and early age it would seem to Blair was susceptible to something that she couldn't name. She never thought that it would come to this. She never thought amusement would turn into some sort of admission about herself. She never knew that her virginal exterior would just melt away. Funnily enough, on the night that she lost her virginity. The Devil always worked in mysterious ways.

He was always in her, breathing, thinking, whispering. He was always there, but she didn't think that was what it was. She never thought in her teenage years it would have to be broken down so simply. It wasn't that simple, but the comparison had to be. Light or dark. Vanilla or chocolate.

Nate or Chuck.

It wasn't until later did she realize she already had chosen. She connected with Nate early on because he was everything that she wasn't. Maybe she was redeemable if some pure little boy thought well of her. But there was always that corner in the dark that called to her.

When Nate looked away, she was just a different person. Laughter at dark suggestions became consideration and when suddenly her dress fell to her feet as though it wasn't there at all, she had to consider what was really there and what wasn't.

Nate was never really there. He should think about his golden boy reputation before he started getting drunk at society weddings. But when some people had darkness in them, they knew it. They didn't flee. They didn't run. They accepted it as the gift that it was.

Some people made her discover that it wasn't anything to hide from. Darkness was a cure to loneliness. No one knew what it was like to watch everyone in your life turn away. They didn't watch their best friends, their boyfriends, and their fathers all disappear one by one.

He did.

"What are you doing?"

Her arms were barely supporting her as she leaned across the tile floor. She couldn't answer. She was far too gone.

"Waldorf."

She didn't like his tone. She would have snapped but she just couldn't. He had no right to sound concerned. He had no right to be appalled.

"Go away," she whispered weakly.

He didn't answer. She had hoped he had walked away.

"What are you doing to yourself?"

This time his voice was soft. It was nearer to her and she turned slightly to see the edges had disappeared from his eyes.

"I'm not good enough."

She thought she saw heat flash across his eyes, not know what it was from.

"You don't have to be alone," he said.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked. "We don't do this."

"We do now," he said unrepentantly. "Because I know what it's like to be alone."

Oh.

_Oh_.

He knew what it was like.

Blair had never even accepted the consideration that she was being seduced. When you're being seduced, you don't realize it. That's the whole point. But usually someone realizes they're seducing you. The Devil would realize what he was doing. Even if he didn't mean for it to happen.

He answered things in her soul she thought would be empty forever. She thought she would be empty forever until he touched something in her that no one else ever had.

She wondered vaguely if Persephone knew about the pomegranate seeds. Her mother was looking for her but maybe she didn't care. Maybe that was the whole point. She couldn't seem like someone as virtuous as her actually wanted to be somewhere she shouldn't. She couldn't seem like she liked Hades's presence. Eating those seeds could have been a whole ploy to stay where she wanted to be, even for a price, going back up to the surface for a couple months out of the year.

She had to admit, it was a good trick. Her reputation wouldn't be tarnished and she would still get what she wanted. Too bad the Ancient Greeks didn't live on the Upper East Side. Then she wouldn't have to choose.

But that was over and done with. She knew it when she watched them standing side by side, talking jovially like the best friends that they were. And she knew her decision. She knew because he was there for her when no one else was.

Their eyes met and he smirked. He knew it too.

"Do you wish he was here?" The Devil prodded as she gasped for breath beneath him. "Do you wish he could touch you like me?"

Blair clutched the silk sheets in her fists, unable to breathe, let alone answer. But she did. She always answered.

"No," she gasped out. He smirked as she arched into his body, biting back a deep throated groan.

"You don't?" he teased. "You don't wish you were with your golden prince right now?"

Power shifted quite easily with them, however. And right now, Blair was getting annoyed.

"No," she snapped. She dug her talons into his shoulder blades, feeling them sink in with satisfaction as they quelled her desire, if only for an instant. "Only you."

He moved again, smugness etched across his face, laced with pleasure, emitting another scream from her.

She had already decided.

She let the Devil seduce her.

And she liked it.

**Champagne and High Heels**

_I have to go. I have to fix something._

They were oceans away. Still. But they had always been connected. They always had been since they were small. They would play games on the others when they were little, never knowing how soon the games would mutate into something involving what neither of them could explain. Neither of them could have known how a simple understanding of each other would change into such an intimate and passionate connection.

They still couldn't see.

For a second, he thought he could. A flurry in time, he thought he could feel her. Just a pivot and he would have seen her gracefully leap across the lobby. He would have seen that she was fast for a girl in heels and if they caught on the carpet, maybe he would be there to stop her from breaking her neck.

Maybe.

For a second, maybe she could have understood how close they were again. An eye flicker and she would have seen his strong back and shoulders, extremities that used to hold her up so effortlessly. He coolly tossed back his champagne flute, lost in thoughts of loss, delaying the time in which he would go to watch the opera. Maybe even thoughts of her.

Maybe.

In another life, another time, another universe, they would have been able. He would get over himself like he held the inability to and go inside and she would slow down for even a moment like she was never able to and maybe they would meet. She would slow down to keep herself from falling and he would be able to smell her from where he was standing like he always could and they would meet in the middle... like they were never able to do.

She would pitch forward slightly and he would be there to catch her, like he used to in what seemed like lifetimes away. She would look up and he would look down and everything would be alright again. Maybe they would kiss. Maybe they would embrace. Maybe they would talk. Or maybe they would just stare like they hadn't been able to do in a while. But it would have been an understanding. It would have been contact that they hadn't had in what seemed like forever, though only week. Maybe nothing would have happened, but it would have been a chance. A chance like the one they hadn't been able to have in so long.

Maybe they would finally see.

But all they had was a flurry in time. His body tensed when he heard almost familiar sounding heeled footsteps pounding in a rhythm that seemed almost like a distant memory. He could have turned.

But he didn't.

She almost faltered her determined footing when she heard a clink of a champagne flute that was always present in her society life. She could have turned.

But she didn't.

However, it was only a matter of time. They had time. This wasn't the end. They were inevitable. Turning would have sped it up, with their destiny still on its way. They were separated by an unseen force or an ocean of space, but it was still there. And that wasn't going to go away.

Ever.


	51. Carnal Knowledge

**A/N**: So I know this was a terrible episode and it has become my realization that the less allusions I can attempt to make, the worse the episode is. And lo and behold, there's only two in this one. Surprise surprise. But this was my attempt at redeeming this horrible SL. Not because I want to redeem it but because I CANNOT except that Chuck just fell for some random whore. It doensn't make sense. So I made it make sense.=D. Try not to cringe at the first quote before you read it. I promise it doesn't end with Chuck in love with someone else.

**Summary**: Two times. That was the limit, really. It was one time with a girl. Two was pushing it. But that's what he told himself as she wore nothing but his necklace. Two times was the limit. He wouldn't allow this to happen to him.

**Disclaimer**: This is obviously not mine because I would never have Chuck fall for someone else. ESPECIALLY some cheap hooker who isn't even prettier than Blair. Chuck, you were a douche in this episode. I'm glad you got over that phase. Oh yeah, and I don't own The Matrix either.

* * *

**Drunk Dialing**

_Nathaniel. Did we speak last night?_

_Uh, no. Why? What's up?_

_I'm not sure. I think last night might've have been the greatest night of my life._

It was the number from a hotel. It wasn't from The Palace so she assumed it would be safe.

She assumed wrong.

"Hello?" she asked.

No answer.

"_Hello_?" she asked in annoyance.

And then he was there.

"_Blair_."

And her heart broke just a little bit more. She mouth was dry and she hated herself. She knew this had to happen eventually. She knew eventually she would have to hear his voice, see his face. She knew she would be near him again. But this wasn't the time. She just wasn't ready now. And from his tone, she knew it immediately. He hadn't changed. He was still self destructing and she didn't want to witness it. She didn't want to hear it.

She just couldn't bear it.

But she couldn't bring herself to hang up the phone, either. She just listened to his breathing.

_"I miss you."_

He really didn't bother with the small talk. No, Chuck was, if anything, extremely blunt.

Yet she still couldn't speak.

"_Blair_," he said again.

"Are you okay?" she found herself asking. As long as she was on the line with him, she had to make sure he wasn't tweaking out or blowing his brains out. Then she knew it would be absolutely her fault.

"_Am I okay_?" he echoed as though he didn't know the answer to that either. "_Where are you_?"

Where was she? In a winter of discontent and confusion. That's where she always seemed to be at the moment.

"Chuck, I don't--"

"_Where did you go_?"

Where did she go? He was asking some solid questions that she really didn't have the answers to. She wished she did. For now, she was going to settle for the literal sense and tell the truth of her actual physical location.

"I didn't go anywhere." She found that her tone was soothing, like how she used to calm him when he was lost. In the way that he used to call her. "I'm right here."

"_You're not_," he said shortly.

"I don't understand," she said honestly.

"_I waited for you_," he answered. "_I'm waiting for you._"

She didn't like how this conversation was going. She knew that he was so far gone he could only be talking literally. But she knew when it came to her, she would always be waiting for him. There was no one for her but him. Not anymore. Maybe there never was.

"Chuck," she said, "maybe you should just rest. Make sure Eric or someone knows you're there and just--"

"_I'm not at home._"

Of course he wasn't. He always had to drunk dial her when he was fucked up at some skank's house (because it wasn't like this had happened before.) He always had to contact her when he was inhaling practically every substance he could get his hands on.

_"I think I'm at a hotel. You know_."

"No..." Blair said slowly. "Where are you?"

"_You know_," he said again, almost furiously this time. "_I can't... I can't process this. You were there._"

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"_I remember you,_" he said slowly. "_You were with me again_."

"No, Chuck," she whispered, trying to reign in her emotions. "No I wasn't."

_"I know you were_." She could hear him getting angry with himself. "_It couldn't have been anyone but you."_

"Chuck," she whispered, hating how easily his name just fell off her tongue. "I've been home all night. you're just have a bad trip."

"_No_," he said angrily. "_I know it was you. You were the most beautiful. And we were together again_."

Blair clapped a hand over her mouth to stop what she knew would be her dismay through her lips. The dismay at losing someone so important in the form of tears tracking down her face.

_"There's no one else."_

"Chuck," Blair said steadily though the mouth piece of her cell phone. "It wasn't me."

She tried not to sound so stern or angry but she had to get him to understand. He had to know that she wasn't with him. That she couldn't be with him. She was too weak now. She had to get her bearings. She knew that eventually she would come to him again. But it wasn't tonight. No matter how much the reality that he was obviously with another woman hurt her, she couldn't let that get to her. When he was ready it would be time. When he called her, not through a drunken haze of misguided hope, but actually needing her and wanting her. Then it would be their time again. But not tonight. Not now.

"_There's never been anyone else_," he said more to himself.

"It wasn't me, Chuck," she whispered. "You were with another woman. And that's the one that you want."

"_No_," he said. But she knew in his drunken mind, he was starting to believe her. She could always convince him of the untrue, this time especially. It was better for the both of them.

For now.

"You want a different woman," she told him. "You don't want me."

Even as she hung up, she hoped to God she wasn't right. If he never wanted her again, if he wanted someone else... then she would die.

When Chuck woke up the next morning there were few things he was certain of. He was certain he had an encounter with a woman he wouldn't be able to forget. He was sure he had called someone but he didn't know who.

The trouble was, it wasn't a sexual encounter that he couldn't forget. He remembered the club. He remembered the masquerade. What he couldn't remember was the woman. He had remembered he had been in contact with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The only problem was, he was remembering the wrong woman.

**Waiting**

_She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I think she was waiting for me. Ready to serve. Knew my every desire._

If there was one thing that Chuck needed, it was dominance. He loved to dominate and be the one in control. This especially was true during sex. It was the control he never really had in his actual life. It was a necessity. He found it more intoxicating than anything he had ever experienced.

At least, that was the way it used to be. Now, as he pushed the girl whose name he hadn't bothered to get to her knees, there was some niggling at the back of his mind and he knew things were about to change. They already had changed. He thought that opening his first club would make things different. It had, just not in the way he had expected. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't take what was so obviously happening to him. He was Chuck Bass. He wasn't like the rest of them. Except as he was so obviously not getting the pleasure that he wanted, he knew that he was. It was pleasure but it didn't have the... quality. It didn't have what he wanted. It didn't have what he craved.

Women weren't anything to him. They were objects and that was it. They were there to serve him and then they would be on their way. That was the only reason he went to prostitutes. It was that simple. He liked the fact that it was their job to serve him and be at his beck and call. It wasn't because they were a last resort. He just fully enjoyed them.

Until now. He tried not to think about it, but it was impossible.

He shoved her off of him. It wasn't working and he hated himself.

Two times. That was the limit, really. It was one time with a girl. Two was pushing it. But that's what he told himself as she wore nothing but his necklace. Two times was the limit. He wouldn't allow this to happen to him.

He was fooling himself. Even as he called out, he knew deep down that it wasn't real. His rationalization wasn't real. He was already sucked in (not to abuse his talent for euphemisms.) He thought he could just leave. He was just satiating himself. But girls were girls and the one he wanted was no ordinary girl. She was special. She was... his.

That's what he was thinking about as he stumbled drunkenly into his suite. Alcohol hadn't done the trick that the had hoped the stupid broad would. He was still thinking of her and he still hated that if he faced her again, the rejection would pierce his armor all the more.

He froze.

He saw the distinctive silhouette against the moonlight, sitting primly on his bed. He froze and all he could think of was her (not that it was different from any other moment, but his head was still reeling.)

He closed the door softly and approached her delicately like she was a skittish gazelle, easily frightened away. Precedence proved that this was the case. He scared her so easily and yet... she had come to him. She was here for him. She (dare he say it) _wanted_ him. And that blew his mind more than anything.

She was a goddess. She was nirvana. She was everything and he had never thought that such perfection would truly want him. It didn't make sense. Of course everyone wanted her (how was he any different?) but the fact was that she could have anyone. And she wanted him. She was here for _him_.

"Who was she?"

That was definitely not the sentence he had expected to hear. Surely, he had expected "this is a one time thing" (even though it was obviously a three-time thing, or "you're just a default until Nate comes to his senses."

Instead, she asked something else entirely.

"She was no one," he answered softly and honestly, his advance still slow.

Blair nodded slowly but he could tell that she didn't believe him.

"She isn't anyone," he stressed. "Just a girl."

"As opposed to..."

He knew she was referring to herself. How she could compare herself to a simple call-girl was beyond him.

And he knew it.

He thought about it and it excited him even more. She was waiting for him. Maybe she had always been waiting for him. She had found a way into his locked door and waited on his bed. For him. He still couldn't figure out why, but that was beside the point.

"You," he said simply. She didn't show any sign of hearing, but he knew that she had. If she hadn't, maybe she would have been gone by now.

"She was pretty," Blair said. He wondered if she was just talking to herself because there was no way that she could believe that he thought anyone was more breathtaking than she.

"She was paid," Chuck said dryly.

"Yes," Blair said quietly. "She was."

"How..." Chuck began to ask.

She could always read his mind. She flipped open her orange phone to the Gossip Girl page. It illuminated the room as he watched him walking off with the tramp on the LCD screen.

"And that's when you came," Chuck inferred.

"No."

_No_?

"That was when I was waiting for you and I realized you weren't coming."

_Waiting_. She was _waiting_ for him. He sure as hell knew that he had always been waiting for her.

"You were waiting for me," he could help but say.

"What else would I be doing?" she asked.

"Waiting for someone else."

Her silence troubled him but he knew that she was just contemplating this. It was a confusing situation, to be sure. They were both confused. He couldn't separate the self that wanted her so badly from the self that was completely loyal to Nathaniel. He was beginning to realize they were the same person.

He couldn't imagine if Nate had come crawling back why she wouldn't accept. Then again, she was waiting on Chuck's bed and not his best friend's.

"I was only waiting for you," she said after the silence.

"How did you get in?" he asked curiously. He knew they both couldn't express their feelings that well, especially to each other. But this was something he had wanted to know since he had seen her again.

"Key," she said monotonously. He watched her toss him something and he caught it against his chest.

Oh.

_What's that?_

_The key to my suite, Nate's heart, and your future happiness._

Oh. Fate was not without a sense of irony.

Then he realized she had given him his key back. She had already risen to her feet and was almost past him.

Almost.

Like he was about to let her go.

Like he would ever let her go.

He took her by her upper arms and stopped her.

"I'm leaving," she said steadily, daring him to stop her.

"No," he said, rising to the challenge, "you're not."

"You don't need me," Blair said wistfully. He could hear the tinge of tears that threatened to make themselves present. He knew her too well. He had been at her side too many times. "I'm just like the rest."

"You're not," he argued softly. "You're better."

"Apparently not."

"You're better," he said firmly.

He felt the strength in her resistance vanish and they were just standing there, she in his arms. He hadn't meant for it to get this intimate. He hadn't meant for any of this. He was thinking about the inevitable excuse he would use for Nate. But right now, there was only her. There was only ever her.

"Blair," he said, realizing that his tone had took that husky route. "Do you want me? Is that why you're here?"

She didn't answer. He thought maybe she was just thinking again.

"Do you want me?" he asked again.

"I don't know why..."

"Blair--"

"I want you," she said and he had no doubt that she was telling the truth. As though his arms were working to their own accord, they pulled her into him and he was at home again.

"I'm not them, Chuck," she said into his ear. "I'm just not."

No, she wasn't like any of his whores. She was Blair. She was better.

"I don't understand why you could want me."

There were so many reasons. He could tell her that she was perfect in every way for him but he knew in a way, that would just ruin the moment. But she needed to know. She needed to know what she was to him.

"Because you were waiting for me," he answered.

She was relaxed in his arms and he knew that she was aware of his inflection.

You were _waiting_ for _me_.

"You want me."

He wasn't sure if it was a question or just a statement coming from his mouth but he needed to hear it again.

"I waited for you," she acknowledged. "I want you. Probably more than I should."

"Why is that?"

"Because I can't control this. I can't seem to stop."

"I don't want you to."

Her nimble fingers grasped his collar and he could taste her sweetness again. He was a fool to think she was ever something that he could resist. She was his every desire. Just her was everything. He knew that would never change. She had an element that other women could know, but none could possess. They weren't her.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

She was silent and he was afraid he had scared her off again.

"No one has even said that to me," she finally admitted.

"I can't imagine why," he answered honestly.

"Because it's not true."

"No," he disagreed. "You are the most beautiful to me."

His hands were suddenly on her and he knew that no matter how much he deluded himself, there was no one for him but her.

"Chuck," she whispered into the darkness, his body slick with want against hers on his bed. "I don't want you to stop either."

It would have been impossible anyway.


	52. Age of Dissonance Part I

**A/N**: These quotes aren't such a stretch as they were in the last chapter.

**Summary**: He wanted to make Blair feel special. Because when she was with him, he knew that's how it was. He made her feel beautiful and she needed him. Like he needed her.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes and characters aren't mine. So basically nothing is.

* * *

**Rumors**

_Spreading rumors of who I've slept with, what alleys I've had sex in..._

He prowled like the predator he was, his limbs slinking gracefully around the dark party. Tonight, he wasn't looking for his next conquest, however. This was just something he had been working on for awhile. It made sense. She was better than the rest and yet she was letting herself be subservient. He couldn't bear to watch it. So he was going to help her. She would thank him for it later.

"I don't want to talk to you."

Like that was different from any other day. She pretended that she didn't enjoy his company but he knew different.

"What else is new?" he sighed easily. "What are you doing here all alone?"

With the lengthening of her neck and her defiant expression, he knew he didn't have to ask. He wished she would get wise. It would save her the heartache and save him the effort of explaining why she deserved better. He didn't relish watching her destroy herself and it wasn't like he could do anything about it. She had a boyfriend and that's what best friends were for. Best friends were supposed to know these sort of things.

If, by some cruel twist of fate both of those would be torn from her, then he would have no choice but to intervene. But right now, he was just a spectator. That's all he ever would be, really. He wasn't meant to be the hero. He was the villain, or best case scenario, the anti-hero.

He followed her eye line to the corner and he tried not to smirk in triumph. It wasn't that he was glad because of the scene unfolding in front of them. He just loved being right. He positioned himself behind her, gazing over her shoulder at their best friends.

"Look at them," he whispered in her ear. She didn't slap him away like she usually did. Improvement. "They don't have a care in the world. It's just them. They can't even remember that you're the one that connects them."

"Stop it," she commanded, but her voice was weak. He hated that's what those insipid blondes had resorted her to. That would soon change. He would make her better.

"Look at them, Waldorf," he commanded more harshly. "Look at how they're humiliating you. And they don't even care. They're making a fool of you and you're not even doing anything."

"And what are you doing?" she demanded, whirling to face him. Her eyes were liquid fire and he was glad the Blair he knew was back. "He's your best friend."

"And she's yours," he replied, "yet you despise her."

"I don't," she argued.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "You envy her."

"I know what you're doing," she whispered. "And I won't do it. I don't know why you want me to humiliate her but I won't do it."

"And why not?" he asked. "She's weighing you down. Isn't it obvious? You don't have to worry about my motivations because they're the same as yours."

"And what are my motivations?"

"I know you want to be on the top of those steps."

"The question is," she said easily, "why do you care?"

"I don't," he answered honestly. "It would be more prestigious to have a queen who actually ruled, though. And you know that I love destruction as much as the next person. And I love to win."

"She's my best friend," Blair repeated.

"So you won't do it because you care?" he asked. "Or because you're guilty that you don't care? Remorse is overrated. Its just an obstacle. Those without the curse of remorse get what they want. We get what we want."

"And what about Nate?" Blair asked, ignoring how he just grouped them together so casually.

"He's irrelevant."

"You care about him."

"And you won't touch him," Chuck replied. "I know you won't. You'll destroy who you need to in order to get what you want, but he's out of the picture. You know this."

"Stop it," she commanded, turning away from him. She felt him pursue her like he seemed to always be doing lately. She couldn't understand it. She didn't know what was so fascinating about her when he tired of women after just a few hours.

She exited through the door. The second before the bang alerted her that he had kept up pace.

"Where do you think you're going?"

She didn't like his tone.

"What?" she demanded, whirling around. "What is it that you want?"

There was a scuffle and they both looked around just in time to see Serena exiting the back entrance to vomit in the dumpster in the alley.

"Your chance," he said. He studied her for a moment and smirked. "That is, if you're up to it. Maybe you're not strong enough to do it."

"Yes, I am," she said. Then she realized what he was doing.

Jerk. He was smirking at her and she could feel herself falling into his trap.

"You won't do it," he said with confidence.

"You don't know," Blair said defensively. "I will do it."

"We'll see," Chuck said smugly to the orchestra of Serena's retching. Blair looked at him furiously and turned to his satisfaction. She whipped out her cell phone and snapped the quick picture, the flash illuminating the dark alley. Serena looked up in confusion but was too convoluted to understand what was happening.

She smirked in triumph and made her way back into the party without even a second glance back at her so called best friend.

She was coming along nicely.

He followed her dutifully back into the dark party.

It was only a matter of time.

Everyone's phone went off in unison as the Upper East Side teenagers flipped open their phones. He looked at her expression expectantly as the new blast about Serena's extra curricular activities once again dominated the internet.

"That's my girl," he husked gutturally in her ear. She turned to face in and all he could see was delicious fire as she grabbed his bow tie and propelled him into a secluded corner.

"Finally," he breathed teasingly.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded angrily.

"What am I doing?" he questioned incredulously. "I'm elevating you to who you're meant to become. You're Queen and that's where you're meant to be. You're not mean to be beneath some blonde socialite without a clue in the world."

She didn't like that glint in his eye.

"In fact," he said, pushing against her from his position on the wall. "If anything, you're meant to be beneath me."

Her face displayed nothing but shock. Recently, Chuck had become more eccentric and risqué with the things he said to her. Nate had no idea how... comfortable they were together. Blair couldn't understand it either. Surely this wasn't normal.

There he was. His dark eyes were just measuring her like it was the most natural thing in the world. The horrific thing was she wasn't even insulted. It seemed completely normal. The only reason she ground her heel into his instep was because that was what propriety told her to do.

She turned from his subtle groans back to the party. She glared at the offending arms that had goosebumps risen on them. That was definitely due to the chill... in August.

"You love it, Waldorf," she heard Chuck call after her.

She most definitely did not.

Definitely.

**Being Together**

_You know this can't last._

_What can't?_

_Our being together. And not being together._

Blair's nails dug into the cover of the book she was reading with anxiety. She didn't know why she did the things she did. And when it came to him, she obviously just couldn't control herself. She focused on the assignment for her American Literary class but it was no use. His gaze was as penetrating as ever and that was going to have to stop before she lost her mind.

"The Age of Innocence," he drawled in her ear, reading the spine of her book. She instinctively moved an inch away on the steps she was residing on, fear of the public.

"Glad you've finally mastered that pesky skill of putting words together, Bass," she said with a roll of her eyes. She heard his dark chuckle and she wished that he didn't have this effect on her.

"Stop," she warned quietly as he neared her. "We're at school."

"That's what the limo is for," he replied coolly. She hazarded a glance and sure enough, there it was idling, as though he had been waiting for this moment. Come to think of it, he probably was actually waiting for the precise moment to pounce.

She finally dragged her gaze to his with a simple word. "No."

Suddenly his grip was digging into her flesh and she had to clamp her mouth shut so her surprised (but not exactly forlorn) cry wouldn't be heard.

"You weren't exactly complaining last night, sweetheart," he glared.

"That was..."

"A mistake?" he demanded.

"I wasn't going to say that," she replied.

"Oh?"

"That was last night," she corrected. "And not now when I need to finish reading this chapter."

She got to her feet, gathering her things.

"Do you really think you can do this?" he sneered, standing with her. She hated how intimidating his presence was.

"Do what?" she asked in soft exasperation. He gazed at her for a while.

"Nothing," he finally said. She looked at him curiously.

She did not like that smirk that was slowly spreading across his features.

"At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I'm the one who's taking you to bed tonight."

She grasped his collar angrily at the statement. This just provoked him.

"Do you disagree?" he taunted.

"Do you have to be so vulgar?" she spat. She ignored the pointed stares directed in her direction. Chuck just watched them with amusement.

"It's why you love me."

In so many words, this was exactly true (though she would never admit to him that she held anything for him but contempt.) The sole fact that he was different than any other person in a way that only she could appreciate. And that mattered. He mattered to her.

Chuck gaged her reaction with triumph. He liked winning her over. It was slightly cumbersome to have to deal with her mood swings but the satisfaction of her submitting to him matched the satisfaction when she graced his bed with earsplitting moans and purrs as he followed close behind.

For now.

He could feel those traitorous bones quaking at her mere proximity. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he was beginning to want. He didn't like it. He knew as well as that she was submitting to him, that he was submitting to her. It was a give and take relationship.

_Relationship_.

That word was not something that Chuck Bass would associate with himself, but he could feel it. And somehow, he just didn't care. She was different than all the rest. So different that he was actually considering forgetting all loyalty when it came to a certain Archibald. Come to think of it, Chuck was pretty sure he was past that already.

And he didn't care.

She wasn't like the rest. And he wanted her fully. Not just secluded corners and stolen glances. He wanted it all. He wasn't even going to start allowing himself to think about it, let alone voice these concerns out loud. He knew that even if she felt the same way, she was the same as him. It was something dangerous and they definitely weren't ready for it. As much as he wanted it.

So he would watch her flounce away knowing what was really under that skirt. Because it was a comfort to him that he knew he was the only one who really knew.

Blair knew she was weak as she stood outside of his door that night. it was something that she had just grown accustomed to. It was something she had grown accustomed to liking lately. Because whenever she felt herself get weak, he rewarded her in the only way that he knew how. It evened out, though, when she caught him trailing her with his eyes lazily, winking and licking his lips sensuously in her direction.

The same way he did as he opened the door to reveal her in front of him.

She wouldn't let him get a hold of the power too much, though. That just wasn't how it worked.

"Shut up," she snapped as he opened his mouth. She shoved him inside of the room, slamming his door behind him.

And then she was upon him.

He loved when he got her like this (because he was positive that no one but him could do it.) She was fire and she was passion and she was everything that he needed. Again, it wasn't like he could tell her exactly that. But he could show her. He could make her feel it while he desperately marked her as his. And she liked it. He knew she did. Always had, always would.

Chuck admired his handiwork as he watched her shakingly clutch the sheet to her chest. He never really cared much before about the pleasures women felt, but he wanted to make Blair feel special. Because when she was with him, he knew that's how it was. He made her feel beautiful and she needed him. Like he needed her.

He sighed in disappointment as she sat up. He watched as her eyes scoured the floor for the clothing he was sure she would never find. He always had to order things for her to leave looking decent in, anyway.

"You know this can't last," he whispered.

She froze. She knew this game. She could either agree to follow it or leave him in the dust.

She never wanted to leave him.

"What can't?" she asked quietly. He smiled slightly. There was no one like her.

"Our being together," he said and stroked his hand down her bare back. "And not being together."

"I thought you said you never read the Age of Innocence," she said, turning to meet his probing gaze.

"No I didn't," he countered. And he was right.

"No you didn't," she agreed.

"Blair," he whispered.

She knew what he was saying. And it frightened her.

"You scare me more than anything," she confided.

"I know the feeling," he replied. "I've never felt this way... about anyone."

"Do you really want this?" she asked. "All of me?"

"Everything."

"Why aren't I just another conquest to you?"

"You never were," he told her. "Not ever. Not in the limo. Not while wearing my necklace. I want all of you. I can't be with you... and then just not be with you. I can't keep watching you walk away."

"I don't like walking away from you," she admitted softly, looking down in embarrassment. He neared her, tipping her chin so he could look into her eyes.

"Are you saying that you're staying?"

"Are you saying that you want me to?"

Answering, he took the back of her neck, pulling her into his mouth again.

"Okay," she whispered, laying back down. Chuck Bass didn't ask women to stay the night, even if it was in so little words. He kicked them out without remorse and a glance back. But Blair was Blair. And he could feel himself falling dangerously fast for her, even though it was an experience he had never had before.

"Okay?" he asked.

"I want to be together," she said, "and be together."

Chuck pulled himself over her, pressing his hand to her naked hip, their mouths merging again.

This time she would stay.

And he wasn't ever going to let her go.


	53. Age of Dissonance Part II

**A/N**: 2/3 done with this episode. So after the horribly amazing season finale, I have decided to continue Allusions through the third season. It was touch and go for a moment and I had seriously considered just ending this fic that I have been working on since I first started watching at the end of season 2. I wasn't sure if there were any good allusions for season three but the finale really cemented it for me that Chair is in fact not dead there is still much more fun to be had with this.

**Summary**: He was used to it. He realized he could be... whatever this was... with her. He was sweet to her and he didn't know where this side of him had come from.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes come from Age of Dissonance on Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Obvious**

_I know you're into him. He's older, smarter, and you like the same stuff._

Serena knew she couldn't interfere. When she even mentioned it to Blair, her head was bitten off. The truth of the matter was, she could see a difference in her best friend. She knew there was something that lured her in, even if Serena didn't exactly approve.

The one fateful encounter that Serena walked in on made one thing clear. She couldn't tear them apart. Blair was happier than she had ever been and Chuck... well, he was still Chuck. But when he was with Blair, he was _Blair's_ Chuck. And that made all the difference. Serena didn't think they were sweet with each other, or understood each other. Honestly, she just thought it was sex.

She was wrong.

Serena averted her eyes immediately, not wanted to hear it. But she did. She heard the sweet endearments (even with a side of innuendo, gross.) She heard the things he called her best friend and it made something blatantly clear. These two weren't going away anytime soon. She wasn't going to do anything to stop it. In fact, she would find she would be in the position where she would do something to protect it.

"Serena."

Not that she liked it.

Serena turned to face the innocent blue eyes of Nathaniel Archibald. Serena hazarded a glance over her shoulder. Sure enough, there the power couple emerged, impeccable as usual with no signs to allude what they were just doing.

"Hey, Nate," Serena said as convincingly as possible. Luckily... this was Nate. She didn't have to be that convincing.

Then again, Nate wasn't blind.

His eyes slid over and Serena followed his gaze. In the corner of the brunch there they were. Instead of looking at what she knew what was happening, Serena let her gaze stay on Nate. His brows furrowed and she could tell that he wasn't pleased. But he didn't know what he shouldn't be pleased about. Because they were just talking... right?

"They're hanging out a lot lately," Nate mused. He was trying to be casual but Serena had been friends with Blair long enough to recognize the signs. He was suspicious.

"You're not going out anymore, Nate," Serena said gently. "Blair can talk to whoever she wants."

"But him?" Nate suddenly said. Serena's eyes widened. She had never heard Nate speak with such venom. Especially about Chuck.

"What do you mean?" Serena asked. "He's you best friend."

"My best friend who sleeps with whatever available girl is in his reach," Nate replied. "Looks like a slot just opened up."

"He cares about Blair," Serena said. "You know this. He wouldn't use her like the others."

Serena was telling her truth. But she wasn't exactly answering Nate's assumption either.

"So, you don't think..." Nate trailed off. Serena looked over. She wished they would be more careful.

Blair was laughing. Truly laughing. Like she was happy. Her hand was on Chuck's arm and he was smirking down at her.

Normally, this wouldn't really be a problem. But this was the Upper East Side. And this was Blair and Chuck. If Serena knew anything, it was that rumors spread quickly. This was something that they shouldn't be advertising.

"What?" Serena asked.

"He wouldn't..."

"He's your best friend, Nate."

Again with the evasiveness. But it was the only way. She knew as soon as Chuck went away, Blair would be back to her old habits. The ones that included cold society smiles and stomach acid.

"Because I could see the appeal."

"What?" Serena asked, taken aback.

Nate shrugged. "He's Chuck Bass. Isn't that what he's always been saying?"

"But you're Nate Archibald," Serena teased.

"They've always been close," Nate said. "That's it, right? I didn't think so at first, but suddenly I realized they were spending all this time together. Right after you went away."

Crap.

So that was it.

"But that's it," Nate said as though he were trying to convince himself.

"Chuck and Blair are just..." Serena sighed, "Chuck and Blair. They don't really follow the rules that everyone else does. Don't let it bother you."

However, when Serena looked back, they were gone. That was ridiculous. It hadn't even been 15 minutes and already they were back... _doing_ what they did.

Serena hardly sent a "be right back" behind her shoulder as she went in pursuit. She couldn't believe how risky the things that Blair was doing were. She never did this before--

Oh.

Well that was just fantastic.

Serena grabbed Blair's arm and whirled her around. She scowled at her best friend's collarbone and smudged lipstick. The former was already darkening and Serena could only imagine what collar and lips the latter was on.

Blair wrenched out of the grasp. "Problem?"

"You're being really stupid, you know that," Serena bit out a little more harshly than she had originally anticipated. Blair didn't even flinch. She just looked down at her best friend.

"I don't really have to wonder what you're referring to," Blair sneered.

"Nate is practically figuring it out," Serena exclaimed. "He's already suspicious of Chuck."

"Do you want me to care or something?" Blair asked.

"Maybe you don't," Serena said, "but you know that Chuck would. He wouldn't want to lose his best friend--"

"Over me?" Blair countered.

"That's not what I meant," Serena sighed.

"You don't get it, do you?" Blair snapped. "When I said to stay out of it, I want you to stay out of it."

"I just covered for you."

"Well I didn't ask you to," Blair retorted. "Don't you care in the least that I'm actually happy right now?"

"Serena."

Serena tried not to let the chill of fear corrupt her spine at the sound of his deep and dangerous voice. He sounded angry. Or best case scenario displeased. She didn't want to know the repercussions of that. She didn't like the fact that Blair's face instantly relaxed. Serena never thought that Chuck could have a calming presence on anyone, but Blair wasn't exactly normal class.

"It's fine," she said quietly to him. "I'm handling it."

"You said you were handling it before," he said just as quietly into her ear. Apparently Serena was a common topic of discussion.

Chuck glowered at Serena as he passed her. He turned behind her back and sent Blair a look only she could decipher. She nodded minutely as Serena looked on.

Then he was gone.

"Serena," Blair said, "please just leave this alone. I can take care of it."

"I don't want this to end horribly for you," Serena said calmingly.

"Maybe it would be worth it."

Serena stared.

"What?"

"It's a relief," Blair said, "being with him. Being with someone who's smart and... understands me. You know?"

Serena didn't really. Blair knew this.

"I'm sorry," Serena said, turning to go.

"You can stay," Blair sighed. "He's going to be a few minutes."

"Where is he?"

"Talking to Nate."

Serena looked around the corner and there Chuck was, putting his charisma to use.

"How is she?" Nate asked his best friend. Chuck was very apt in being indifferent. It was a skill he needed to survive with over the years.

"She's perfect."

Luckily, again, Chuck was good at moderating his tone.

"Do you think she's seeing someone?"

That was a trap that Chuck could easily fall into.

But he wouldn't.

"I mean," Nate laughed nervously, "what if you two were together?"

"That would be an idea," Chuck said monotonously.

"It would make sense," Nate said. "You're like, way smarter than me and you guys like the same stuff."

"Are you giving me permission?" Chuck smirked.

"No."

Chuck forced himself not to scowl. He didn't need permission. Especially from a hypocrite who slept with his girlfriend's best friend-- _while they were still dating._ Chuck wouldn't go that low.

"She's happy now," Chuck said.

_Without you._

_With me._

"So you do think she's seeing someone," Nate said, trying to uncover Chuck's cool exterior.

"I think you should leave her alone if she's happy now."

_Which she is._

_With me._

"Do you think she misses me?"

Chuck let his eyes sweep the crowd. And there she was. He could always found her amidst the throng. Their eyes met and that playful smirk graced her delicious lips.

"No."

"What?" Nate asked.

"What do you want me to say, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked. "Do you want the truth or do you want me to shelter you from it? I've been spending more time with Blair than you have in the past six months. She likes the place she's in right now."

_When I'm in her_.

He had to stop doing that.

"So you're hanging out a lot?" Nate asked uncomfortably.

"Yes," Chuck articulated. "I'm allowed to be friends with women."

"But you're not," Nate said bluntly. Chuck hid a smile.

_Oh, Nathaniel_.

"Blair's different."

"How?"

"She's special," Chuck said. "And you only noticed that when she left you."

"She didn't--"

Chuck cast him a knowing look and Nate let it go.

"How did you know?"

"I'm Chuck Bass," he smirked. "I know everything."

He stopped himself from saying _I know her._

That would surely cause suspicion.

"She told me," Chuck relented. "When you didn't show to her party. I was there for her."

"Are you saying that I wasn't?"

"You weren't," Chuck replied. "Not anymore. Not for a long time."

"You like her," Nate said slowly.

"I respect her," Chuck said, not exactly denying Nate's statement either, though. "The only woman that I do."

"Why?" Nate asked.

"Because we're the same."

And that was that.

**Care**

_You have a good heart. You should give it to somebody who cares._

It was her eyes.

For a while, he couldn't figure it out. He knew what women saw in him when they looked at him. He was someone to make their boyfriends jealous or to get them off for the night. He knew the expression they held when they looked at him. It was one of pure lust and desire. He was used to it and he accepted it.

This was the very reason why Blair Waldorf confused him so much. He didn't understand the soft smiles she deigned him or the way her eyes would sparkle when he said something he didn't think mattered that much.

It didn't make much sense.

He said the things to her he said to all other women. He told her how he would love having her writhing beneath him or being the one to first deflower her. She used to act disgusted and roll her eyes. She still did sometimes. But then there were other times when no one was looking where she would roll her eyes but then toss him a gentle smile. She acted as though she was amused by him. And then she acted as though it was a compliment.

Coming from Chuck, he knew it was. But he didn't know that she knew this.

Women used him like he used them. But when he looked at Blair Waldorf, he thought that maybe she actually liked him. Maybe she actually enjoyed his company.

Maybe he liked her too.

Chuck didn't really know what he was doing. It was the first time he ever admitted that to himself. He didn't comfort women and he definitely didn't do it for his best friend's girlfriend.

Her eyes were always his weakness.

Her dark pools of emotion would plead and he would suddenly be at her side.

It was the dreams, he thought. It was just hormones. That was it. The dreams that had Blair for the taking in the back of his limo that made him wake up in a cold sweat were just that. Dreams. But then he would look over at her when Nate was dutifully ignoring her again and she would send him a weak smile, as though assuring him that all was well with him. He didn't know why he cared.

Then again, he didn't know why he was kneeling on her bathroom floor next to her shaking body. He didn't know why his chest hurt. He didn't know why he had to be here. He didn't know why Nate wasn't. But he did know that he wanted to be here.

He put his hand to her head, comfortingly brushing her hair from her sticky forehead. Her cold hand felt for his and kept it there. For a moment, he thought he misheard her.

"Thank you."

It turned out that he hadn't.

He couldn't understand why someone would be thanking him. He was Chuck Bass as he constantly advertised. Blair was the first one. The only one. He didn't understand what it was, but apparently she did.

He didn't understand why she would choose to dance for him on a burlesque stage and he certainly didn't understand why she would trust him enough to sheath himself in her virginity. But as he leaned forward with another groan, she put her hand to his bare chest and he shivered. She had that slight smile again.

But just as soon as it appeared, it was replaced of something that he could read much more easily. Orgasmic euphoria.

That was pleasing.

Chuck sat up in his bed with a start. He had no idea why his heart was hammering through his chest. He looked to his left and there she was. Sure enough, his adrenaline calmed and he could breathe easily again.

That was the most terrifying moment of his life.

Realizing that someday she could definitely leave him and that he cared. He laid back in his bed and stared at her, willing her to wake up so he could prod her.

It was like she could read his mind.

She smirked through closed eyelids and he wondered how long she had been up. Her lithe fingertips trailed to his chest and made tantalizing patterns across it.

"What?" she asked finally, letting her eyes flutter open.

"Why are you here?" he asked. Her eyes narrowed and he knew she didn't like where this conversation was going. "Blair. Why are you here?"

"You don't really see yourself," she whispered, "do you?"

He scowled, hating that he didn't know what she was talking about. She sighed and rolled to her side clinging the sheet to her chest (like he hadn't seen it all before-- and liked it.) She deftly traced his angular cheekbones. At first, Chuck had been afraid of this. He was afraid of the softness and tenderness. Now he was used to it. He realized he could be... whatever this was... with her. He was sweet to her and he didn't know where this side of him had come from. But it was just the way he was with her. She made him like this.

"You think you have to be what they tell you to be," she said quietly. "But you don't."

She stroked his hair tenderly and he wasn't afraid. And that was what was really frightening.

"You're good, you just don't see it. No one does."

"Do you?" he prodded. There was that sweet smile that he was sure only he had witnessed. He was positive.

"You're good, Chuck," she said, settling back on his pillows as a response.

"Of course I am," he smirked. "I wouldn't have you so ensnared if I wasn't."

She rolled her eyes but laughed. She really laughed like she only did when she was with him. He liked that.

So he did something he had never done before. He put his arm around her naked waist and they slept. He knew that she had seen something that no one else had. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was really good. But only ever with her.

These were the instances he was thinking of as he watched that call-girl walk away from him. And he truly didn't care. He didn't care that he had wasted two weeks on some whore nanny or that he was used. Because it had led him to this realization.

Someone did care. He could tell by the way she touched him when no one was looking or laughed so purely that he knew she wasn't lying. She cared more than anyone. She saw something and that was exactly what led him to this point.

He walked out of _The Eastview_ and up 5th avenue. It was where his heart had led him. To her. Always, to her.


	54. Age of Dissonance Part III

A/N: So exciting news, I just got DVR and am taping the re-runs of season 3. This means that I can get out allusions for the currect-ish season faster without waiting for the DVDs. Its a fun time. Heads up, I wrote this way before Serenate got together and had sex in that coat check. Just saying. The last vignette was just something I had to do. Even though its not technically an allusion (though some of the rest really aren't) I needed to make myself feel better after the Nate-fest that commences after this.

Summary: In a way, he knew he had always been waiting for her. Waiting for her to notice him, waiting for her to come to him, waiting for her to reach pleasurable heights with him.

Disclaimer: Quotes belong to GG. Where they belong. Once again, some of these might seem like a stretch, but I just couldn't help myself. I also stole a scenario completley froom Mean Girls and its pretty easy to spot.

**

* * *

**

**Closet**

_We had sex in a costume closet so you can do whatever you want with that._

Blair always prided herself in being an upstanding young lady of society. She always had a pretty boy on her arm and was never caught being pressed against a devilishly handsome boy's bare chest drenched in his love scent in the coat check-

Oh wait.

When it came down to it, she wasn't Serena. She wasn't the best friend who vomited in alleys and slept with stock brokers at _PJ Clarks_. That is, she didn't think she was. She never understood how you could be resorted to such debauchery. Then again, she should have just found the correlation between debauchery and... the king of debauchery, to be frank. Serena never had that esteemed pleasure (Chuck's articulation was always getting stuck in her brain.) Serena had sex just to have sex. Blair had sex... well, because she was persuaded into by the only person that could ever manipulate her. And he was using his advantage against her.

Just getting away from Serena's watchful eye would be a task in itself. Then again, evading Chuck's insatiability would also be difficult. The horrifying thing was the more time passed, the more she didn't really want to. Pick the lesser of two evils, really. And suddenly, Blair wanted to succumb to the dark side.

He could always find her faster than Serena anyway.

"Avoiding me?"

"What would make you think that?" Blair asked coolly to the voice at her back. She didn't turn to face him. She felt his hands circle her waist. Before she was about to let that happened, she whirled around to his smug appearance.

"No," she ordered quietly and turned again.

"I thought you were over this, Waldorf," Chuck sighed.

"And I thought you were over being a whore," Blair said sweetly before turning on her heel. She liked how she was the only one who could make his face fall.

Blair joined Serena in the secluded bedroom at the back of the party. Apparently she was picking the greater of two evils. But you had to do that if you were going to do battle with the devil.

"I don't like this," Serena said anxiously.

"Serena," Blair said sharply. "Don't tell me you're afraid of Chuck Bass. Most of his reputation is just talk, anyway."

"Like yours?" Serena countered.

"How many times do I have to keep telling you that was just a rumor?" Blair spat. "You now I would never castrate a guy who was hitting me in the middle of the party. It's unseemly."

"About as many times you tell me you're not into Chuck," Serena said. "But you're still doing this."

"That whore deserves it," Blair said shortly. "After all, wasn't she the one that sent in that rumor about you and her cousin?"

Serena looked to the floor in defeat. She could never beat out Blair. Blair smiled in triumph and dialed information. Serena listened in disapproval as Blair requested a residence.

"Hi, is Kacey home?" Blair asked sweetly. "This is Selene-" Serena shot her a scowl "- from Planned Parenthood. Just tell Kacey to give us a call. It's urgent."

Blair hung up with relish.

"I just don't understand why you would do that if you don't care about him," Serena muttered.

"Because it's fun."

Somehow, Serena just didn't believe her. Blair edged out of the room, looking around the corner. Sure enough, she saw the slut answer her phone and her face drop. Apparently her mother was more into her life that Blair's was. She hated that it made her even more jealous. Then she saw Serena's face drop with worry.

Blair looked around to see Chuck looking at her with a smug smile. He saw the whole thing.

God dammit.

"Oh, lord," Serena muttered, watching Blair flee the scene.

"Van der Woodsen," came his throaty drawl. She turned to face him.

"Leave it, Chuck."

"What?" he asked innocently. "Actually, I have a favor to ask."

As she suspected.

"Tell Blair to meet me-"

"No, Chuck," Serena interrupted. He looked mildly annoyed. "I'm not going to be your message mule."

"Interesting choice of words," he murmured. Then he looked away. "She won't talk to me."

Serena didn't want to feel bad for him but he was making it really hard at the present moment.

"Maybe that's because she knows the hookers you have on the side."

Chuck rolled his eyes. "That girl was weeks ago. She just wants retribution. She knows that I'm not doing that anymore."

"Doing what?"

"Being with anyone but her."

Serena sighed. She hated being manipulated.

"Where?" she asked.

Blair wasn't stupid. Serena wasn't good at the whole nonchalant thing. Of course she knew when Serena told her to wait for her near the coat check for some unspecified reason who was really behind it. And she let him. She hated how weak he made her but she liked how powerful he made her feel when they were alone together.

Suddenly, familiar hands clasped almost gently around her wrist and pulled her. She let him.

"You're talking to me again," Chuck said with confidence in the darkness.

"Who's talking?" she asked. She heard him chuckle. Damn. He just made her stupid. "Well this has been pleasant-"

"Stop avoiding me," he growled, pulling her to him again. She shuddered slightly with pleasure at his closeness, encouraging him to pull her closer.

She felt his broad shoulders under her fingers. She liked it.

"I never said I was," she whispered.

"I had to coerce Serena into getting you here."

"Like it was that hard," Blair said dryly. "Don't play the martyr, Bass."

"And don't play me."

"And what exactly were you doing with that slut if not playing _me_?" she asked.

"That slut you so artfully and maliciously destroyed?" he asked lightly.

"She told everyone Serena was fucking around with her cousin," Blair said on instinct.

"Okay."

She knew he knew the truth.

"Stop making me suffer."

If it were anyone else, she would be sure that was a plea.

"I'm dying."

And that was a line. She didn't care. She didn't care that she was backed up against the wall in the coat check or that his hand was wondering dangerously close to where she needed it most.

"Chuck," she whispered and he groaned. She was aware the power his name falling from her lips had over him. "Someone could walk in."

"No she's not," he said. "I paid her to go on her break for the rest of the night."

"Paid her with what?" Blair snapped, almost propelling him away. He caught her hands, not allowing her.

"With threats of termination," he spat. "Blair-"

That was enough incentive for her as she pulled him against her, moving her mouth familiarly with his. Their bodies were hot against each other and she knew it was only a matter of time before she lost herself in him. Or he lost himself in her.

If only it lasted.

"Oh my god!"

Not the coat check girl.

Blair couldn't even bring herself to extricate herself from Chuck's suave touch and slick chest.

"You told me you only wanted to talk to her," Serena said angrily. Chuck bit Blair's earlobe playfully.

"We were talking," he smirked. "Things... escalated."

Blair couldn't help but laugh lightly as Serena's face watched her incredulously. Blair didn't care. She liked feeling this way. She liked the way Chuck made her feel and she couldn't give that up even for propriety's sake, let alone her best friend.

"Ugh," Serena said in disgust. "You two are..."

Serena didn't even finish as she stalked off. Chuck swiftly closed the door behind her and fiercely brought his lips to Blair's again.

"Chuck," she said and he moaned softly. "I'm not having sex with you in a closet."

"I've heard that before," he grinned. "And it's a coat check."

"Fine," Blair groaned. "A glorified closet."

"Blair," Chuck sighed. "I think it's been made obvious from past experiences that I can get you to do anything. Now, I need you now. I haven't had you in days. Do you understand?"

"Chuck," she breathed and smiled at his tremor. "Do you need me?"

"Always," he said between fiery kisses and descended upon her again.

So she was having sex in a closet. When she was with Chuck, it was so worth it.

**Good**

_I don't need a stirring speech about what a good person I am. I know I'm not._

"Say it. Please."

"I'm not lying."

Blair knew the looks people gave her. She knew she was ambitious and this was still a time where that was frowned upon. She knew it wasn't valued to be a complete bitch and get what you want, but it's all that Blair was.

She couldn't be sweet and neutral like her best friend. She was too smart to submit herself to the ignorance that accompanied her ex-boyfriend. She just couldn't do it.

Maybe that's what attracted her to him. Maybe when his cool smirk made its third appearance that night, she realized it. After all, it could have been revenge, couldn't it? She could just be using him in the painful way that she was made a fool of. But that didn't explain those whispers when they were alone or the jewelry that just happened to follow as well.

He was really the only person she could really talk to.

And no one could understand it.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Blair snapped as Serena followed.

"Blair, just listen-"

"I know you're taking Nate's side in all of this," she cried. "You pity him even though he was the one who cheated. I didn't do anything wrong. I..."

"This isn't about Nate, Blair," Serena said, ignoring the jab that still stung. "This is about you."

"Oh, really?"

"And him."

"I don't want to hear it."

"He clouds your judgment, B," Serena said.

"Like you're so much better," Blair retorted. "You're dating the dregs of Dumbo and you think I'm the bad one. You just don't know him."

"I do," Serena said sadly. "We've all known him for all of our lives. He's not a good person. He's not good for you."

"Really?" Blair asked. "You really believe that? What makes him so horrible?"

"Blair."

Serena knew she was wading in dangerous waters.

"Tell me."

"He know the things he does."

"What?" Blair asked. "Manipulation? Social destruction? You mean the things I do."

"That's not it," Serena defended.

"Tell me, then," Blair said, turning everything around. "Tell me I'm a good person."

"I..."

Blair didn't have to wait. She knew the answer.

"See, that's the thing," she said in defeat. "You're right. But he accepts me."

Leaving Serena in the dust was easy. It was always easy. What wasn't easy was resisting the pull of suite 1812. She couldn't stay away even if she tried.

She opted for knocking instead.

The door swung open revealing the smug smirk.

"Tell me I'm a bad person," she said before he could open his lecherous mouth. His eyes narrowed.

"Say it. I just need to hear it."

"Waldorf," he said coolly. Those two syllables made her heart soar. Her nerves calmed even though she was still agitated. He always knew the right things to say.

"It's true," she whispered. "I'm a horrible person."

"You," he said, pulling at her so he could shut the door behind her, "are my favorite person. Good is subjective. You can look it up."

That caused a slight laugh to ripple from her chest. He looked pleased with himself.

She was going to have to stop that.

"Who said you were a bad person?" he asked after awhile. Blair looked to the floor in shame. "Serena's a hypocrite."

He always knew what she was thinking.

"Blair," he sighed, "things like that doesn't matter around here. And I don't care. I love the things you do. You're perfect. No matter what anyone says. Those things you do make you perfect."

"You're biased," she pointed out.

Chuck's eyes narrowed, hoping to god that she hadn't figured out what he was just figuring out for himself. He knew it would be hard to hide it from her. She just knew everything about him. She would figure out the words he was matching to the feelings that were erupting in his chest. He never loved a woman in his life. The death of your mother would do that to you. But he was starting to think he was going to. He was starting to think he already did.

"You're no better than me."

_Thank god._

But still.

"But I'm better," he said.

_With you._

Not that he was going to say that out loud.

"I know," she smiled. He liked that smile. He made that smile.

"I'm not lying," he whispered close to her. "You have no idea how perfect you are."

"No one sees the you that I see."

"I think that's the point," he smirked. "I can't ruin my rep."

She rolled her eyes but went further into his room, that smile still gracing her lips.

He liked that smile.

He thinks he loves that smile.

**To Wait for Her**

_Miss Blair is out, Mr. Chuck._

_I'll wait._

He was stupid. He had been so, so stupid. He realized this now. It didn't used to be like this. It used to be so much simpler. He would scheme and plot and to top the night off he would get a scotch and girl for his suite. Maybe three.

He should have known that the plotting and scheming couldn't be done without one vital thing. And then the night couldn't be complete without her either. Then somehow, it came to this. Somehow, he wasn't complete without her either.

Wasn't that interesting.

After all this time what he really needed was in the arms of his best friend.

It was the subtle things. She didn't throw herself at him or dance around him, scantily clad. It was the smiles they shared and the knowing glances after parental neglect. It was the times when he sat at The Palace bar, just waiting for her form to appear so he could just... take care of her. So he could watch her down who knows how many shots before he would hold her hair back. It was the times when Bart said something that was, if it was even possible, more demeaning than the night before. Scotch would be his best friend but then, there she was.

That was when it dawned on him.

He was waiting for her. To take care of him so he could take care of her. It was always them. Even after Gossip Girl scandals, missed trips, and detours, she was still there. No other woman had power of him and even her own boyfriend couldn't keep a handle on her. Even her own boyfriend wasn't here. He was. Even after everything, he was still here.

Waiting for her.

It was them.

It had always been them.

He had to realize this because he had been so stupid. Of course he was used all the time for his money and status. She was the only constant in his life and he had driven her away. She cared about him for him and he didn't even notice.

She loved him and he didn't seem to have a care in the world.

But he did. He always did.

It was always them.

In a way, he knew he had always been waiting for her. Waiting for her to notice him, waiting for her to come to him, waiting for her to reach pleasurable heights with him.

Waiting for her to love him.

Now she did and he didn't even realize. He didn't even realize that this was it. He had always been waiting for her and now was their chance.

Again.

Now, he could find it in himself not to be such a self absorbed masochist and stop finding all the reasons not be with her.

He pressed the button for her penthouse, coat in hand. It was late. Then again, he seemed to be always late for her. That would change. This time, he would be right on time. This time she would walk right through the door and he would kiss her with so much ferocity that she would know that he loved her without even saying it. This time, their timing wouldn't be off.

So he sat down in her foyer and waited.

And waited.

And waited.


	55. The Grandfather Part I

**A/N**: Because I really love a protective pre-series Chuck Bass, here is part of "The Grandfather." I am such a fan of the last one so I hopre you read it. =D.

**Summary**: "What are you doing?" she demanded. She shoved him as hard as she could which was more like a light tap in her state. "Are you trying to take advantage of me? Get off my bed."

**Disclaimer**: Quotes are from 2x19 of Gossip Girl. Lyrics belong to Blue October's "Dirt Room" because it just works. I already have quotes so I really shouldn't be having lyrics, but whatever. Here it is.

* * *

**Number**

_I was checking to see if Blair had changed her number._

_Well if she's not calling you back you should probably take the hint._

She knew he was drunk. It was like this uncanny ability she had to gage his status without even looking at him. Without even being in his proximity, really, let alone in separate buildings. He was drunk, nonetheless. There was only one way she knew this.

He only called her this late when he was drunk.

He only called her non stop when he was drunk.

He only told her his true feelings when he was drunk.

She watched his smirk dance across her caller ID and she couldn't take it. She knew that she didn't have the self restraint and she knew there was only one person who did. The problem was, those two just happened to live in the same house.

Serena looked up in surprise as Blair threw her door open and clasped her vibrating phone in Serena's hand.

"What..."

"Hold it for me," Blair said, turning away.

Serena looked down and it struck her.

"Oh."

Serena looked to her best friend's turned back. She was shaking slightly in the way that only Chuck Bass could inspire. She wished she could make it all stop. Maybe Chuck loving Blair or Blair loving Chuck would make their lives easier, even though they weren't admitting what they felt to begin with. But it was all the obvious, even to Serena. And she knew they would never take it back. They couldn't. Not now. Not ever.

"Just keep it," Blair said, trying to regulate her voice. Serena's heart unclenched as the vibrating stopped. She flipped through the phone log and it clenched again. It was obvious this wasn't the first or even last time this was going to occur this night. Or any night for that matter.

"Do you just want to stay the night?" Serena sighed. She could tell Blair was in one of her weakened states. Ironically, it was Serena who she needed to keep her grounded.

Then Blair said it so quietly, Serena wasn't sure she had heard it at first.

"He's here tonight."

Serena was sure it sounded more like a question so she answered it as one.

"He's across the hall."

Serena looked and saw Blair staring far off at her reflection in the mirror above the dresser.

"He knows I'm here."

Serena knew at moments like these, Blair was more likely talking to him than she was to her best friend. So she just let her talk.

"He'll catch me in my weakened state. He always does."

"Here," Serena said, keeping the phone away. "Just stay here tonight. Go get dressed in the bathroom. Okay?"  
She had to prod Blair because she knew it was the only way.

"Okay," Blair said, though sounding uncertain. She took her clothing into the bathroom and the dresser began to rattle with his incessant rings again.

If this was any other instance, Serena would have inquired why Blair listened to Blue October, but then again, the ringtone was fitting for when Chuck called.

_You think you own me_  
_You should've known me_  
_You took the future and the food off my family's plate_  
_You think you'll use me_  
_I'm stronger than you_  
_You take my money but it's useless when you see what I do to you_

Serena almost wanted to answer the uncharacteristic ringtone and yell at him to stop resorting her friend into the weakened mess that she was. But she knew not to engage. It was better that way, for everyone. When Serena engaged, she got Blair biting her head off and excommunicating her from Waldorf Thanksgivings.

And yet, he still called. No way he was sober. He wouldn't be this needy when he was sober. But he would kill Serena in her sleep if he knew that she knew. So officially, Serena didn't know anything. And she was going to keep it that way.

When Blair crawled in next to Serena for the night, she had no intention of being weak. She never had that intention, but it always resulted that way when it came to him. When she had given her phone to Serena, she had hoped she would lock in in Bart's safe or bury it or something.

Instead, "Dirt Room" was just muffled by pillows and an easy access. Too easy. Because before she knew it, Blair was on the floor of Serena's tiled bathroom, pressing the call button to hear the voice she so desperately needed to since... forever.

"_Hello, beautiful._"

She closed her eyes against the voice she could die listening to. Whenever she heard it, she couldn't understand why she had resisted for so long, or even how. When they were alone together, she was just better. And he knew it too. He was a better man for it and they just made each other better all around. So she listened.

"_I've been calling._"

She exhaled, pretending that slight hitch to his voice wasn't alcohol but for once, he was really being real with her. But he was only this way when he had been drinking. And she hated giving herself false hope. But once and awhile, she let herself be weak.

"I know."

"_I've been missing you_."

They weren't the words ending in "you" that she wished, but they were close enough. Close enough that if Serena wouldn't wake with her going across the hall to his room, she would, without hesitation.

"I..."

Caving to him would mean losing her principles and she couldn't do that. She had done that with Nate and this just wasn't the way.

"_Haven't you been missing me, princess_?"

She hated it when he called her that. It was too much of a call back to darkened suites and limos where he would let himself love her, if only for a little while and if only not to her knowledge. He would use pet names for her and she would be the only one to see the sweet and romantic side to that. And she didn't like hearing it. Not unless he was going to give her something she needed in return.

"I shouldn't be talking to you," she said instead, changing the subject. She couldn't even give that much up. Not yet.

"_And yet your angelic voice is still purring in my ear. If only across phone lines_," he replied. She hated to admit when he had the drink in him, he had a poet's heart. He would only be sweet to her like this. Unless they were truly together, but he wasn't ready for that yet. She knew he wasn't. If he wasn't ready to say something she hated to admit she was dying to hear, then they weren't ready for that.

"If only so far away," she agreed softly.

_"Not so far away."_

That's how she knew that he knew. And she couldn't answer.

_"It wouldn't take much, would it_?" he asked rhetorically. "_Just to slip past my slumbering sister and you could come to me. You could be mine again_."

She couldn't admit to him how much she wanted to. She wanted to be his and she wanted him to be hers. But she couldn't bend. She couldn't break. She couldn't be the one giving everything while he gave nothing. She wouldn't be that person anymore. It always had to be her. It couldn't be him who made the move. So she wouldn't either.

"You know me," she said, trying to lower her voice. "You know I'm here."

"_Always_."

_Always._

They were always always. Always were, always would be.

"_Won't you come to me_?"

She hated that voice. She hated that tone. She hated him so much. Or she wished she could. But he made it so hard to feel what she wanted to feel and so easy to cave into what she knew she felt.

"I can't."

And that was that.

"_Because of Serena_."

"Because I know I can't. You know I can't."

She hated that Serena was the one restraining her, but someone had to. She hated that she couldn't restrain herself, but that's what it came down to when you loved Chuck Bass.

_"Say it."_

At first she didn't know what he was talking about. Surely he couldn't be asking for something that he couldn't give himself?

"_I need to know that you need me as much as I need you,_" he continued. "_I need to know that you miss me too._"

To the untrained ear, he was just a very honest man who spoke the truth of his feelings. But to an expert like Blair, it was just the Scotch talking. She would say everything he asked of her if only she knew that he would remember it in the morning. But if he didn't have the courage to speak the truth to her face without inebriation, then she couldn't be the one to give anything first. And he knew this.

"You're drunk, Chuck," Blair said, trying to hold back emotion. "You won't remember this in the morning. You won't remember me."

_"I always remember you_," he answered. "_I'll remember what you instill in me while your scent coats my bed._"

Now she knew he was drunker than she thought he was originally. Maybe it was just lust that made him call for her. But it was _them_ and she knew that was stronger than anything. That would never change.

Blair realized too late that she should have kept her voice down.

"_At least say it_," she heard Chuck's throaty voice crackle across the line as Blair stared into the depths of blue eyes at the door. _"I need you. I need to hear you say it._"

Serena snatched the phone out of Blair's hand before it could reach his ears.

"I miss you."

That didn't mean he didn't hear it.

**All Night**

_I went to see her last week. She never came home. It's not like our girl to be out all night._

"Where the hell have you been?"

Blair would have found the dignity in her to feel annoyed if she wasn't so trashed. Her heels caught on her carpet as she stumbled.

"Why do you care?" she slurred to his angry expression. He didn't frighten her and he especially didn't frighten her when she was this drunk. She barely registered his growl of annoyance before his death grip straightened her out and pulled her into his chest. She tried to struggle. Chuck Bass was always too strong for her. She had no chance in resisting. Ever.

"I've been waiting for you," he told her. "For hours."

"Well I didn't ask you to."

"Like hell," he growled. "So that wasn't you whimpering over the phone to me?"

"That was weeks ago," she said indignantly.

"And ever since then I've been the one taking care of you."

"Well I didn't ask you to," she argued lamely again.

"Better me than your precious boyfriend, right?" he snapped. "What would happen if dear Nathaniel found out about your nightly escapades?"

"You wouldn't," Blair sneered. He always threatened but never came through.

"Try me."

"You wouldn't want your _precious_ best friend to find out how you've been spending your nights."

"And how you've been spending yours," he retorted.

They were in a stalemate and they both knew it.

"Fine," Blair relented quietly.

"Fine," he returned.

He didn't like doing this. At first, he was extremely resistant. But she was in pain and he knew exactly what that was like even if her stupid boyfriend didn't. Yeah, okay "the perfect blonde girl I've been pining for just skipped town" was not pain, Nathaniel. And he was going to have to deal with that. Chuck knew pain. And Blair was Blair. This wasn't something she deserved. Not from her best friend and certainly not from her dumb-as-dirt boyfriend.

And he had been waiting for her forever. Not in the literal sense, because Chuck was a melodramatic. He hated worrying about her because he was coming closer and closer to realizing something that he wasn't meant to.

Serena was the most selfish person he had ever met. More selfish than him. She didn't realize that while bailing on all of her friends, she would be causing a maelstrom that was not going to settle. She didn't realize that because of her departure, she was instilling things in Blair that was causing a chain reaction to instill things in Chuck. He was feeling things that he wouldn't need to if Serena hadn't left. Even if they were things that were already there. Things that Serena may have just been speeding up. But while Blair was hovering in her own doorway, Chuck knew these were speculations for another time. Preferably under the influence of his dear friend Mary Jane.

He had been waiting in Blair's room for hours. He thought she was coming home, but honestly, this wasn't he first time she had gone clubbing without alerting him. This wasn't the first time he had to rescue her. He wasn't the knight in shining armor type but she wrote parts for him that didn't seem to match anyway.

He was a nervous wreck until he heard the elevator ring. He had to ride the hash train just so he wouldn't act like an idiot and go out looking for her and then everyone would know the little crush he seemed to be developing on the Ice Bitch.

It was just that nurse conundrum and he knew it. Nurses would fall for their patients in wartime because they were taking care of them and how vulnerable they looked. Chuck was sure of it. Because it wasn't like they had anything in common... he was going to stop that train of thought right there. He knew in the dead of night when his insomnia kicked in he would have plenty of time for that. In the dead of night, sometimes he let himself think of that special way she smiled only for him when he took down one of her minions. Or that way she flicked her hair from her face or that smirk he was sure he had taught her.

Because Chuck Bass didn't like _people_. It just wasn't the way. He loved his hash and his father's presence because anything more would be heartbreaking. But when she looked up at him with thankful eyes, her head in his lap, he thought if he were a better person, maybe he could. Maybe he couldn't like animate and tangible things, but maybe he could like Blair Waldorf.

Then again, he was loyal and he wouldn't do that to his best friend, no matter how much of a tool he was being.

"I don't need your help."

Her annoyance broke through his reverie as he tried to take her with him.

"I don't need you to take care of me."

"I beg to differ, princess," he sneered. Just because she was in desperate need of Chuck Bass didn't mean he was going to be nice about it. He still was Chuck Bass after all. And she was still a bitch... no matter how much that turned him on when she was sober.

"I don't need anyone."

It still kind of turned him on when she was drunk.

He never said he wasn't twisted.

He knew she was more trying to convince herself of her independence but this was just one of those times where he had to be there for her. Because no one else was going to be.

He just sighed and led her to her own bed. He was glad there wasn't anything like vomit on her like there used to be when Serena was around. He didn't feel like stripping her of her high priced dress. He wasn't a good man. He would take advantage of her and he knew it. The thing about her was that she wasn't that good either. She would let him.

"I waited," he told her again, more angry this time.

"Far be it for me to keep The Grand Chuck Bass waiting," Blair sneered. At least she was still Blair.

"Well, don't do it next time," he finished lamely. She just rolled her eyes and turned over to her side. Chuck didn't want to leave her like this, fearing she might choke on her own vomit or something, but he also didn't want to be on a soft bed with an inebriated Blair Waldorf. That just spelled trouble.

"But you keep coming back," she whispered. He would have done a double take if he wasn't already staring at her.

"What?" he asked uncertainly.

"I go do these things," she said slowly, "and you come back. You're the only one who hasn't abandoned me."

"You're doing this on purpose?" he demanded.

She was such a bitch. Of course she would put him through all of this just to jerk him around. Now he remembered why he hated her so much.

"I don't want to be alone anymore."

And then he remembered why he really didn't. She turned to face him again, curling in on herself, looking so vulnerable he wanted to comfort her. Unfortunately, he was only aware of one way to do that and that just wasn't going to work right now.

"I'm here, Waldorf," he sighed, lying on his back across her bed.

"What are you doing?" she demanded. She shoved him as hard as she could which was more like a light tap in her state. "Are you trying to take advantage of me? Get off my bed."

He let out a lighthearted chuckle. The first he could remember in awhile. She was really stressing him out and Chuck Bass didn't do stress. He did herbal remedies.

"That's my girl," he leered. He looked over at her hard gaze.

"I'm not your girl."

Her tone wasn't the defense that he was used to. She was saying it slowly, as though trying out how it sounded. She was saying it slowly like she was trying to convince herself. Maybe he was trying to convince himself as well.

Then he found that they were just staring at each other and he was just lost again. This girl made him more confused than anything and he hated it.

"Why are you here?" she asked after awhile.

"You said that no one else was," he pointed out.

"But why are _you_ here?"

Him.

No one really asked about him. His father never cared enough to. The only time he was asked about himself was "do I really have to call the lawyer to bail you out of jail again?" or "do I really have to get you a suite at The Palace for you when you get drunk?" Even then, it was more about Bart's discomfort than anything else.

"You need me."

Usually, it would have come out more egocentric than that.

"No one really cares about me," Blair said thoughtfully. "Not that I can remember."

"Well I don't want you face down in some gutter," he replied. "Nate would never forgive me."

"Nate doesn't care."

He could never lie to her. It wasn't that Nate didn't care, it was just that Nate didn't know what he wanted.

"I don't like you being out all night," he finally said.

"Thanks, Dad," Blair rolled her eyes. But she swallowed tersely and he knew that it still caused her pain to think about it. She really didn't have anymore. But she had Chuck now, for whatever that was worth. "Why do you care?"

"I'll let you know when I find out," Chuck said dryly.

Well, at least it was worth it to hear her slight laughter. He couldn't remember the last time he heard it. He couldn't remember why it made him so happy to hear it.

"Thank you, Chuck."

No one had ever thanked him for anything ever in his life.

Maybe that was why he fell in love with her.

* * *

a.n: I know that Blair most likely wouldn't listen to Blue October but I thought she wouldn't have a phone ringtone but a song because those teenagers are all trendy and such. I thought she would put a lot of thought into what sort of ringtone she would give Chuck when he called her and that was on my iTunes and I thought it just worked. So there you go. OOC, but I couldn't resist.


	56. The Grandfather Part II

**A/N**: So I passed the 300 review mark. Yay. Thanks to all of you who are reading it (and enjoying it) and keeping with it as well as reviewing. I think this is the first one that is in someone's POV other than Chuck or Blair. I also know for a fact that GuardianIzz will hate my characterizations so keep in the back of your mind how fragile I am if you read this.

**Summary**: He didn't like being afraid. He liked being sure of himself and he liked the sounds Blair made against his leather interior, usually two things that came hand in hand, because Blair crying out your name was a definite self esteem booster.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG.

**

* * *

**

**Wounds**

_We just need to give her some time to lick her wounds._

_Maybe I can lick them for her._

Her message was breathy and desperate and of this, Chuck Bass was sure of. His girl was definitely drunk and she was definitely needy.

Well, she was at least definitely desperate. Because being drunk was the only thing that would result in her making a call to him.

She would never let herself be that vulnerable in front of his eyes.

These were things that usually made him ecstatic freaked the hell out of him (and the third was still weird, because he only called Blair "his girl" when they were alone and he was sure she was so worn out from all the hot sex that they had been having that she wouldn't protest.)

But now he was afraid and he didn't like being afraid. He liked being sure of himself and he liked the sounds Blair made against his leather interior, usually two things that came hand in hand, because Blair crying out your name was a definite self esteem booster. And Chuck was really narcissistic to begin with.

But even after a thought like that, he couldn't believe he was such an idiot. When she needed him most, he just let his phone ring. His dealer be damned, he had to find her. Whenever she was like this she was very specific about her whereabouts. But he knew her better than anyone and he always found her just in time. Luckily, she was too subdued to give him much of a chase. He could always find her.

He slammed her bathroom door open with a little too much force. She was already on her knees but she hadn't done anything yet. Luckily.

"Blair."

He hoped sound didn't travel in this penthouse. Not that Eleanor would much care at this point. If she didn't notice her daughter in such a state, she definitely wouldn't notice Chuck Bass coming in at all hours of the night.

Her knees were shaking but she had stopped. She was clutching the rim and he knew that she couldn't support her own body weight for much longer. Without even thinking, he was already next to her, holding her head to his chest. He could feel her cold through his clothing and he cursed himself for not being here sooner.

"I didn't think you were coming," Blair said after awhile. "I thought you had a meeting with Jesse."

"God, you are so stupid," he murmured into her hair. He felt her continue to shake and held her tighter. She liked to know that he was really there. "I know I should have picked up. What were you thinking?"

"Did you notice my mother downstairs?" Blair asked.

He knew this wasn't just a question. It was never just a question with Blair.

"I didn't," he replied.

"That's because right before she jetted of to Tokyo she had to make another one of her infamously tactful comments that if I continued eating like that I wouldn't fit into my dress for Cotillion and I'm acting more and more like my father every day."

Chuck set his jaw. He knew anything he said right now would be the wrong thing.

"Which I can't figure out if it's my pension for men," Blair said thoughtfully, "or how I'm such a disappointment."

"Your mother doesn't know you," he finally set on.

"That's just the thing, isn't it?" she asked. "My mother knows me better than anyone. She knows that I'm turning into her and she hates me for how her life is turning out."

"If there is anyone who understands the horror of turning into your parents, it's me," Chuck replied.

"I know," Blair said, pulling away so she could look into his eyes. "Why do you think I called you?"

It was the weirdest thing. Whenever they were together she had this effect on him. He didn't think that it would happen again. It was just a fluke. But then she would just look at him or thank him. She would say things to him that no one ever had and it would make his heart twist in a way that wasn't exactly painful. He didn't know what it was but it made him kiss her.

He felt her pull away slightly. Her eyes were cemented to the floor.

"Hey," he whispered, tipping his fingers to her chin. He slanted his mouth of hers again only to have her pull away.

"Stop," she whispered. She pivoted in the tiled floor, her back facing his front. He sighed, running his fingers through her hair.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly.

"What?" he asked. There were sometimes that he just didn't understand her. He prided himself in knowing her better than anyone but there were times when it just wasn't so.

"Why are you here?"

"You want me here."

"It doesn't mean that you want to be here."

"I do," he said honestly. "I want to be here. For you."

"Why?"

He leaned into her hair, inhaling her. This couldn't just be insecurity. She was too... wondrous for that. She had to know.

"I wish you wouldn't," he said instead. "Do... what you were about to do."

"And what was I about to do?" she sneered.

"Blair."

"What?" she snapped. "Say it. Say how disgusting I am."

"You're perfect."

He heard her sniffle slightly and he knew he was the only one to ever see her vulnerable in this way.

"And I don't care."

He felt her freeze and he leaned in. He placed her lips to her neck and licked his way up to the back of her earlobe. She turned in his arms.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up, Waldorf," he sighed and leaned her back. "Just go with it."

He was the only one who could do that for her. He made her free. He made her better.

**Let Loose**

_Though I have to admit, Blair surprised me. That girl certainly knows how to let loose._

Blair wanted to believe she was doing this for herself. She really did. She was falling apart and there was one person that could help her through this.

Carter Baizen (yeah, right.)

He approached her, put his hand on her thigh, and bought her a drink. For a moment, she could almost pretend that it was someone else... even when it wasn't. They were close enough.

And that's when Blair realized it. She wasn't doing this for herself. She never was. It was for _him_. Always, always for him.

Fuck.

Quite honestly, if he just walked in on her and Carter having sex in the bed that she knew he used to grace with his presence, she wouldn't have been more elated. Because that was the whole point, wasn't it? It was all for him (even if she was noticing she was sounding vaguely like a demonic nanny taking care of the spawn of Satan and a jackal in some 70's movie. Then again, she was always taking care of Satan's offspring in some horror movie, wasn't she?)

She could pretend well enough. It took her long enough to make the connections that her subconscious mind had obviously already made.

The first and foremost obvious one was the name.

_CB_.

Poor planning on her part but then again, she could always count on Chuck to have low self esteem while at the same time being the most arrogant bastard and not make that connection either. But again, she couldn't read him as well as she used to.

The other ones were obvious enough. He had the dark hair and the cool quips. He had that bad boy demeanor and just walked and even smelled the part (it has to do with the constant drinking of scotch even though 1st CB takes it with a single ice cube while 2nd [and always 2nd] CB takes it neat.) The taste was even mildly the same but it wasn't enough. It wasn't the same. It never was.

There was a time when she just had to admit it. But that time wasn't yet. Even after the flattering bombardment of phone calls, he hadn't made an appearance so she wouldn't make hers.

He just couldn't scald her flesh or make her blood sing. But the most obvious difference that literally tore her heart apart wasn't his actions. It wasn't the way he spoke or his arrogance.

It was his eyes.

It was the one thing that always got to her.

It took her awhile to realize she had only been with one man who had eyes like _his_. The rest were cool and blue and held no such emotion. Carter could emote somewhat but they weren't the ones she wanted to see. They weren't the color of whiskey.

She could never really give it a name before. The shade of his eyes seemed to change daily. One day they were dark and lustful while the other they were light as the sun shone through them. They were slanting and exotic and they told her everything she needed to know about him. They told stories of mischief and power. They told her of love that could never be voiced. And she saw her tears reflected in them every time she looked into them.

It was the eyes that narrowed in lechery and sparkled with knowing that would always see through her. It was the eyes she could always lose herself in... And the eyes she would never see again.

The good thing was, she was in the dark now. She could smell the scotch on his breath and feel his probing hands and it would be enough for now. Because she wasn't looking into the eyes so cold when they were meant to burn into her soul.

There was only one moment where she took satisfaction in looking into the cobalt eyes.

It was the first time she took him. She looked at him as a conquest (yes, irony, surprise, surprise, shut up) and just leaned in because a conquest would speak to him. A conquest would tell him that she really was drowning and she wanted to look into dark eyes instead of light ones.

When she was with Nate, she never would have had the courage to do this. She knew what had changed. It wasn't her, really. It was that her true self had decided to show up in the presence of the most unlikely sources. And Chuck was the only one to see it. Ever.

She was just summoning a fake ghost of the feeling, but it was there nonetheless. She liked watching his eyes widen in surprise as she launched herself at him. Because in the end, she knew it wouldn't matter. He was just the symptom of the disease. The real test would be when Chuck noticed. And he would notice.

He always noticed.

She would wait with Carter Baizen until the prodigal son made his final appearance that she felt like she had been waiting eternities for. But that didn't mean that she couldn't have fun on the way.

She felt Carter jerk perceptibly and she peeled away from his warmth. She remembered her first time with Nate (and only, because as soon as she test drove that car, she knew it was not the model for her- she could get into a lot of car metaphors but basically Chuck was her sleek limo and Nate was just something that Humphrey would drive.) She hadn't even bothered cuddling with her apparently new found boyfriend. Cotillion was a mistake. She had really only hooked back up with Nate to get over the heartache that Chuck had just delivered (once again, surprise, surprise) but Nate took it as an admission of love or , she really didn't have a choice.

That didn't mean she had to sleep with him again. But even after her Debutante performance, she couldn't take feeling Nate's warmth against her. Especially when that night wasn't even that pleasurable. She had spent the entire time literally biting her lips so she didn't scream someone else's name out in frustration. Because it was damn frustrating when there were all of these parts that were neglected when they never had been before.

Carter didn't seem to mind as she clothed herself quickly, heading away from him. But he did seem impressed.

"Where did you learn that?"

She should have been flattered by his question but all she could think of was where in fact she had learned it. And it wasn't fair because she was fairly certain she would never experience it again.

"Like it matters," she responded, "when you're just using me to get at him."

"So that's where you learned it," Carter said curiously at her defensive tone. She hated being revealed to some guy that she wouldn't have thought twice about, but it didn't matter. Nothing did anymore.

"And how did you know?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" she asked skeptically. "We're using each other for the same reason."

"How do you know he'll come?" Carter asked curiously.

"Because I know," she replied. "He always comes."

Always.

Even if she wasn't about to accept him back right away.

**Attentive**

_No tell Miss Serena, no tell Mr. Chuck. But if Mr. Chuck come, tell him Mr. Carter is more attentive to woman's..._

Dorota played dumb but really, it was only for the sake of her job. She loved her Miss Blair and she did this for her. But she had been with her mistress for her entire life. She knew the telltale signs which started around during Miss Blair's 17th birthday. It didn't take long for her to realize what was happening. And it took her even less time to realize never to mention the thing that changed her. Because mentioning Mr. Chuck would definitely cost her job. She realized this after Miss Blair had come home after Cotillion.

"How was ball, Miss Blair?" Dorota asked. She looked into the young girls eyes to see they were rimmed with red. "I thought you would be with Mr. Chuck-"

"Dorota," she snapped. "If I ever hear that name of debauchery again, I will make sure that you become a citizen of Poland again."

That was when she knew that her mistress was in love with the Bass heir. And her heart was broken.

This happened again after the reading of the will. Dorota could tell that Miss Blair had a visit from her favorite playboy. It was always a telltale sign when she was curled on her bathroom floor, wracked with sobs. She knew that Mr. Chuck used to find her in that same position. He would make her better for awhile. But he wasn't here anymore and Dorota knew he wouldn't be for a long time.

"If I hear his name again," the young girl whispered hoarsely, "I just might lose it."

"I know, Miss Blair," Dorota said, stroking her hair maternally. "It hard to love powerful man."

"I don't love him," she cried out, jumping to her feet. Dorota followed her just to have her collapse in her maid's arms again. "I don't. I don't love him. _I don't._"

Dorota knew better than to say the truth.

It was worse when Carter Baizen came along. She knew things were very wrong but there wasn't anything she could do. Now that a Chuck Bass lookalike was among them.

"I no like this, Miss Blair," she said sternly as Carter's form retreated to the elevator. She watched as the girl in front of her knock back whiskey in her lingerie. She didn't say anything but traced the rim pensively.

She had never seen her Miss Blair's Mr. Chuck lose his temper before. He only showed that tempest of emotion when he saw her curled in on herself, shivering from the cold bathroom floor. He only showed care for her. But now he was angry and Dorota couldn't approve of what was happening. When it came to the two of them, their emotions made them blind. Usually they could see more clearly than anyone else, but when it came to their feelings for one another, there was nothing that could be done. They were too involved with each other.

"They come for you," Dorota said as she watched the young Waldorf drop things into her purse. "That why he not here yet. They talk to Mr. Carter."

"Then they won't know," she snapped. "If they come here, I'll be gone by then."

"What do I say?"

"You say nothing," she replied coldly. "If they ask where I'm going, you say nothing. I don't want him to know."

"And Miss Serena," Dorota added, trying not to sound too proud of herself. If there was one thing she wanted out of this, it was to know that there was still someone looking out for her Miss Blair. And Mr. Chuck was always the one to do that.

"Of course," she replied quickly.

"When Mr. Chuck come, I tell him nothing then?" Dorota asked.

"What makes you think... he will be coming?" she asked uncomfortably.

"He come this morning."

"He's deluded."

"He love-"

"He loves nothing," her Miss Blair snapped. "He loves nothing but himself."

"Yes, Miss Blair."

She knew what and when to say things. She cared about her job but she cared more about the small girl who was trying to grow up too fast. She wouldn't let herself be happy but that was how it was supposed to be. For now. Because if she knew Mr. Chuck, she knew that he would never give up for long.

She watched her employer don her jacket, brushing her hair back. Then there was a slight smirk that Dorota hadn't seen for a long time. She hesitated in the doorway.

"But if he does come," she replied. "I'm not saying that he's going to, but if he does... make sure he knows."

"Know what, Miss Blair?"

"Tell him," she said slowly. "Just tell him how in comparison to Carter... how much he is lacking."

"But Miss Blair-"

"Just do it," Blair replied.

Blair wasn't stupid. She knew how careless she and Chuck used to be. She was thankful for Dorota. Dorota protected them from her mother and protected Blair as much as she could. But in the rare occurrence when Chuck would come to her in the dead of night, she knew Dorota was looking out for her. She knew at that very moment how much Dorota knew that was a lie. Because it was. Dorota knew enough to know that much.

Dorota sighed as Miss Blair walked out of the penthouse. At least she still cared. Lying for Mr. Chuck's sake to make him jealous showed her that much. Her Miss Blair still loved him.

That was comforting.


	57. The Grandfather Part III

**A/N**: I love the last vignette so much. Usually when I do an allusion that takes place during the show its during the _Victrola _awesomeness. But I'm really proud of it. I hope you enjoy.

**Summary**: He didn't have patience when it came to women. But for Blair, he would wait forever. Even though if it didn't mean he would like it.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG.

* * *

**Core**

_I know you better than I know myself._

_Right. You can see right through me. Can't you, Chuck? Right to my core._

If there was one thing that Chuck Bass was sure of, it was Blair Cornelia Waldorf. Blair was always a constant in his life and he was sure that would never change. At least, he was sure of this until things started to fall apart. Best friends, fathers, and boyfriends started abandoning her and there was only one person who was there for her. That's when things started to change. That's when Chuck realized that he was changing too by his lack of change. It was something that he should have known from the beginning. He knew Blair Waldorf better than anyone.

There were moments of weakness that he would find himself in and he would curse himself. He wasn't so supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to be alone with her. He wasn't supposed to be this close to her.

"Why doesn't he love me?"

It was the question he really didn't want to hear; really didn't want to answer. It was because he couldn't lie to her. He could never lie to her. She looked at him with those wide emotional eyes of hers and he couldn't understand when he had become such a traitor. So he did what he usually did in situations like this. He changed the subject.

"Does it really matter to you?" he asked. She looked affronted but he knew he had struck a chord with some semblance of truth within her. It was something he always could do.

"Of course it _matters_," she breathed.

"Since when?" he asked. "Since when did you stop trying to win him back and start trying to be with me?"

"You're drunk," Blair spat and he just smirked. Maybe.

"But I don't have to be," he taunted. He was really crossing boarders with this one but he couldn't help himself. She just brought it out in him. And he hated her for it.

"Since when did you start loving him in exchange for your social status?"

He watched her face, knowing it was true.

"It's not true," she whispered.

"You have nothing in common," Chuck rolled his eyes. "You know that it pleases both of your parents."

"As opposed to you?" Blair snapped.

"When are you going to get it, Waldorf?" he sighed. His breath caused a wave of whiskey to waft in her direction. "We're the same."

She looked down in aggression as she saw his hand exactly where it shouldn't be. It rested on her stomach like it was meant to be there.

"I know you," he smirked, leaning in. "To the bone." His eyes were too suggestive for her taste.

"And you think you're what I need."

"Not today," he said, leaning away. "Not tomorrow. Not for awhile. But when realize that he's nothing to you, then, yes."

By the time he had passed out on her bed, Blair had convinced herself. She would not allow herself to believe him. She was convinced that it was his drunken disorderly that made him say those things in confidence. That didn't stop the fact that she considered it for all of two seconds.

_**Victrola**_

_Do you remember the first time you saw the real me? The night I danced for you at _Victrola_._

There were times when Chuck Bass forced himself to be like everyone else. It was just easier that way. It was easier when he looked at her like she was just another girl to him. He had a slight relapse during her own, but as soon as Nate got back on task, so did Chuck. He became The Best Friend again and kept on taunting The Girlfriend. That was the way things were supposed to be.

What he didn't see coming was the inevitable break up of the golden couple. Fate did not but have a cruel sense of irony. Because this was fate. He was sure of it. Watching her saunter up with more confidence than he had ever seen was not only sexy as hell, but written in the stars. It was the only way he would ever admit himself that he had been in love with her. It was the only way he would allow it. It was out of his control. He couldn't do anything about it because it was predestined. And that was that.

But looking at that defiance that burned within her eyes and the lofty swish of her hair, he could feel a change within him. And as she ascended the stairs, Chuck knew he could no longer lie to himself. She was no longer a made woman. She no longer belonged to a boy so much better than himself. Now she was just Blair. The Blair that deserved something more her speed. The Blair with the devil in her heart. In more ways than one.

He knew she was there. The entire time while she was well coiffed with her society smile and perfect boyfriend, Chuck just knew there was something. He couldn't tell what it was, but she definitely wasn't among the norm.

If he had to guess... he really couldn't. He really had no idea the penchant he had for the bitchy debutante but he was certain it was something that the rest didn't have. And he was certain that he would never feel like this again. He never considered the future. It seemed too bleak for him. Under a company by the father that never accepted him, plagued by the knowledge of things he had done, even to his own mother, were too terrible to even consider. So he didn't. He took it moment by moment. But she made things different. She made him want to consider.

Maybe that was how they ended up in the backseat of his car. It was a matter of chemistry and there was only so much he could take. There was only so much he could resist. And Blair Cornelia Waldorf leaning across his leather seat and coaxing his lips apart with hers was something he definitely could not handle. He could only handle two words really and that was it. Because suddenly she was in his lap and it took all of his mental capacity not to very well explode his love juice all over her just from her scorching touch.

In hind sight, it could be just that. It could just be too very hormonal, rich teenagers, not giving a damn about the people around them. Or... it could actually mean something to Chuck. And in those moments where his eyes rolled into the back of his head, he was more sure of the latter.

He was Chuck Bass. If there was one thing he was an expert at, it was sex. Plain and simple. And the plain and simple fact of it was that he had never felt that way before. He had sex. He had great sex. Especially amidst the drugs that usually came with experienced women.

And they came hard.

But he had never really felt anything before. Not in the region that swelled and hardened for ice queens who stripped off their dresses to reveal sexy lingerie but in his heart and boiling in his blood.

That was what she did to you. One snort of the ethereal Blair Waldorf and you were hooked for life. It was different. She was different. _He_ was different. He was glad that this happened now. He was glad he hadn't lost his control when she was still practically betrothed to his best friend. Because something changed that night. It changed when he heard her guttural and raspy cries in his ear that emitted reciprocal growls from his throat. Something changed. He saw her for the first time that night.

**Safe**

_If you want to be back in her life, make her feel safe. You know what to say._

She did this a lot. He could tell. She tried to be strong for so many people and the real person she had to be strong for was herself. She had spent her entire life taking care of Serena and making sure Serena's needs were met. She always made sure Nate was taken care of. She even helped Chuck when he needed her, even though he never asked.

He was the only one who could tell. It hurt that her own boyfriend couldn't tell the time she spent in the bathroom. It was horrible that Serena was always the golden child and didn't see the jealousy she inspired in her best friend. None of it was fair.

But Chuck wasn't like that. He made sure that he wasn't. He never wanted to hurt her. He didn't know why, but he always had this gut feeling to make her feel safe. Like it was his duty. Like it was his right. Like it was what he was meant for.

Before her, he was the most arrogant and self absorbed person on the Upper East Side (which was saying a lot.) He was still that way, but with her, he made sure her selfish needs were met before his own selfish needs. He knew she didn't see it most of the time. She just accepted it at face value because he wasn't supposed to mean anything to her. He was just... Chuck. Back then, he was just her friend.

But as he carefully studied her at that "concert" (yeah, okay) in Brooklyn, he was finally satisfied to say that things had changed. Of course he hated that his soon-to-be-step-sister was going through this. He valued loyalty and family ties above all else. That was part of the pull he felt for Blair. Blair was family. Always had been, always would be. But what he really hated about this whole Serena-Georgina situation was the toll it was taking on the one person who didn't deserve it.

Blair was cruel. Blair was damaged and self reliant because of her inability to trust people. But she trusted him. She did things to people and they hated her for it. But she still didn't deserve it. No one really saw her. Not in the way, at least, that he saw her. She was perfect and damn well... ineffable. There was just something that couldn't be explained. And no one could understand.

She wanted so badly to help her metaphyisical sister that she didn't take care of herself. She didn't eat right and she didn't treat herself the way she should have been. The way Chuck treated her.

She wouldn't let him see her anymore. She hid herself away from him because of the things he had said to her. He tried to convince himself that she deserved it. Maybe she did. Then again, he had no right to say it. He wasn't in a position to tell her those things after what he had done. So she hid from him, the only person who really understood her.

He decided that he didn't like it anymore. He decided the reason that he was miserable in the past months wasn't the lack of available and easy women or how his father still didn't trust him. Even lack of quality booze didn't seem to be the problem. When she finally raised her head to him confidently, her eyes glittering with mischief, he knew the real reason. He missed her. He liked being in her atmosphere of power and manipulation.

No. He loved it. That was that. As he followed her glittering dress and sparkling hair, there was no doubt about it. He was in love with Blair Waldorf. And he wasn't about to let her go this time. He was going to pursue her until she finally came to him again. Because she was so worth it.

He knew that she still didn't trust him. He wasn't about to ask that of her. He just wanted a chance. He wanted a chance to be near her again, talk to her again. He wanted to touch her again, but maybe that was asking a little much.

She still didn't trust him. But she trusted everyone else less. This was how he found her. Ironically, it was in the bathroom of some rank Brooklyn "concert hall." More like a dive, but Chuck wasn't one to judge. He hated that she was like this in some place that was just beneath her. But where Serena went, he knew Blair was to follow because Serena just couldn't take care of herself. Blair had accepted this but Chuck wasn't about to. He wasn't going to let her demean herself when he could do something about it.

He startled her.

He didn't mean to, but he startled her. He always startled her.

Their eyes met in the mirror and she jumped. She immediately ducked her head, avoiding his probing gaze as she tried to wash the tears tracking marks down her face.

"You shouldn't be in here," she warned.

"Neither should you," Chuck said, lounging against the sink, never taking his eyes off her. "It's far too grotesque."

"Then leave," she responded.

"After you."

The door opened and a gaggle of girls with piercings and dark eye make up entered. They didn't shriek at the sight of a man but just eyed him appreciatively despite the attire that suggested he really didn't belong in here.

He belonged with her.

Chuck felt his heart thud one tremendous beat as Blair sent them the most hateful glare he had ever seen on her. He liked it.

"Get out," he said baldly. It was obvious he was a child of privilege and wealth. They left, but that probably had more to do with his looks than his words.

"Low-rent skanks," Blair muttered under her breath. Chuck smiled to himself but he was sure Blair caught it. That was why she shirked away from him. He didn't like that very much.

"Here," he sighed, brushing passed her lightly so he could grab a paper towel.

"Bass," she warned, "you don't have to-"

Ignoring her, he started wiping away the evidence of her vulnerability. She didn't protest, much to his liking, but she steadied her hand on his arm, slowing his ministrations. It was unnecessary. If anything, he knew when to be gentle with her. Even with no one else, she was the one person he could be gentle with.

He finished and threw away the towel. Blair didn't make a move to leave so he looked at her curiously.

"Thank you," she finally said.

"For you," he smirked, "any time."

Her hardened gaze softened slightly as she looked away in what looked like embarrassment. Curious.

"What are you doing in here, Waldorf?" he sighed after she didn't respond.

"You mean besides the obvious?" she asked, raising a perfectly plucked eye brow.

"Blair," he said softly, pushing her hair that had fallen from her headband from her face. She flinched away and his stomach lurched. Maybe that was too quick, too soon. He didn't like waiting. He didn't have patience when it came to women. But for Blair, he would wait forever. Even if that didn't mean he would like it.

"You don't have to pretend you care, Bass," she said coldly. "I know you don't."

"Then you're wrong," he said, affronted. How dare she tell him what he felt? He hated it when she did that.

"You're here for one reason and one reason only," she said. "You're worried about her."

"And so are you," he replied. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Then why pretend that you're worried about something you're not?" she asked in exasperation. He was careful not to smile. He was wearing her down.

"Do you see Nate in here?" Chuck prodded. He knew this was the wrong thing to say but someone had to.

"We're not talking about Nate," Blair said dryly.

"Well, yeah," he said. "How humiliating is it to be left for some humble documentary maker?"

"What's humiliating is being rejected when you go to someone for comfort," she struck back. There was his girl. "Not the fact that I went to an ex to feel comforted after someone I thought I was falling for ruined my Cotillion."

Chuck's eyes narrowed and he watched her take a hesitant step backwards. She hadn't meant to say that.

"Is that so?" he asked, advancing slowly.

"No," she said indignantly. That stopped when her back hit the sink.

"If you wanted me so bad, you could have just said so," he said coolly, making sure that she was aware of his weight against her.

"And if you wanted to get off so bad, you could have just gotten one of those Hepatitis skanks to do it for you," she retorted. "There are easier venues."

"Why," he asked, "when all I want is right here?"

Her eyes wavered.

"You're lying."

"What would I have to gain by lying?"

She didn't have an answer. "My humiliation."

"When have I ever lied to you?" Chuck asked, ignoring that insulting comment.

"Never," she said reluctantly. "Why are you in here, Chuck?"

"Looking for you," he said, "obviously."

"Why?"

He looked at her without expression. She really didn't know the answer. He doubted she would appreciate being told of his undying affections in a bathroom of some Brooklyn establishment. So he said something else just as true.

"I miss you."

"No you don't," she said dismissively.

"How many times have I told you not to tell me what I feel?" he asked.

"You're just..." she struggled for words.

"You can't even rationalize it, can you?" he asked smugly. "I'm not playing games with you and you know it."

"That doesn't mean I have to accept it," she said.

"You already do."

She closed her eyes as he fondly stroked her hair down her cheekbone.

"I miss you, Waldorf."

"I don't deserve it," she muttered.

"Why do you do that to yourself?" he asked. "You think you're not better but you are. You're everything."

She sniffed and he realized that just because they were having a completely different conversation, she still had come in here to hide from him while she cried.

"She's nothing compared to you."

"You really care about her," Blair said softly.

"I care about you."

He was really new with this whole telling your feelings thing, but he was starting to think that he was getting the hang of it.

"It doesn't matter," she answered. "You care about her. So do I. But you don't have constant feelings of jealousy towards your best friend."

"I do," he answered quietly. Their eyes met and he watched her breath hitch. "He gets to hear you tell him you love him."

"No he doesn't," she shook his head minutely. "Not for awhile."

He wanted to desperately kiss her right then. But he knew that would be the wrong move, despite the fact that he knew how much they both wanted it. He hadn't apologized yet and he knew that was why Blair was holding back. He had really hurt her and he knew that if he never did it again, it would be too soon.

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I don't know what's going to happen next. Serena went off. Georgina's with her boyfriend and I don't know what's going to happen next."

"Yes you do," he said in affirmative. She looked at him questioningly. "We're going to take the bitch down. Just the way I said we would."

"Okay," she said shakily.

"Okay?" he asked gently. He smiled slightly. He liked the smile that destruction provoked in her. He needed to touch her again.

He realized she was leaning in too. He let her lips brush his. She must have felt his grip tighten perceptively because he felt him propelled suddenly backwards.

"Okay," she said brightly, brushing the remnants of her tears away. "Let's do it."

He wanted to make believe she was talking about something else. But he knew that was unfortunately not the case.

Okay. He could deal with it. He was moving in on her too fast after everything. He could deal. He knew this because in the end, he was the one she still wanted. She felt like she didn't deserve his desire when it was really the other way around. But he would let her think that. It would work better to his advantage.

She walked headstrong out of the bathroom and no one would have known that she had just been crying because of her insecurities in some Brooklyn dive.

Gross.

He followed her obediently like he had earlier that night. They were going to take care of this. He was going to take care of her from now on.

"Where are we going?" he asked curiously as they stepped out into the night.

"My place," she said brightly, sliding into the back of his limo. Where she belonged.

"Really?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager. He knew Blair liked scheming on her bed. Maybe even in her bed, if he was lucky. And she really liked scheming with him by her side.

"We're going to get the bitch," Blair responded as the limo cruised along the streets.

Because if there was one thing that made Blair feel safe it was social destruction. And if there was one person who could do that better than anyone, it was Chuck Bass.


	58. Remains of the J Part I

**A/N**: Not to proud of the dialogue in this one, but we'll see how it goes.

**Summary**: "You didn't seem to mind it last night," he drawled articulately. "In fact, supposing from your high pitched tones of my name, I would say you rather enjoy that little pet name. Including the countless other things I introduced to you in a strangers bed, might I add."

**Disclaimer**: Quotes are not mine.

**

* * *

**

**Stalker**

_I've seen you leave his place in the morning._

_Oh, of course. You're stalking me._

"You have no idea what it looks like when you do that."

Chuck took solace in the fact that she didn't throw acid in his face before running away. This was an improvement to the words she said the last time she found him trailing her in his limo. The fact that she was even speaking to him was comforting after she fled after her birthday.

"What can I say, Waldorf?" Chuck sighed as the limo trailed behind her. "You bring out the best in me."

"I'd rather not," she snapped, keeping up her stride.

He ignored that. He needed answers and he needed them now. He hated that he was coming closer and closer to that word- ugh, clingy (needy) but he didn't like this. He didn't like how she was acting so... like him. It was beyond nauseating. But he was accepting that this was how it was and this was how it was going to be. There was no going back after you deflowered your best friend's girlfriend- sorry, _ex_-girlfriend.

There really was a large distinction.

"I didn't hear from you," Chuck finally said vulnerably. "After your party."

Good god, he was actually gaining X chromosomes as he said it, but he wasn't the one who was left. He was the leaver.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Blair said lightly.

"Well that's _rather_ unfortunate," Chuck growled, knowing that her politeness was just a defense mechanism. "The first may have been a fluke, but when I have sex the next night with the same woman, it's for a reason."

"Well _that's_ rather unfortunate," Blair said mockingly. God, he hated this woman (lie.) "Because there are separate parties who are under different impressions."

"And what impressions might those be?" he pressed.

"Considering that I told Serena it was a mistake, I would say, parties that now assume it was a mistake."

"Like I said, Waldorf," Chuck said darkly. He didn't like being referred to as a mistake. It was a blow to the ego which he was very fond of to begin with. "More than one night isn't a mistake."

"Yes it is," Blair argued. He was getting to her. "It's a mistake that happens twice."

"Either you don't learn from them or you have become exceptional at lying to yourself," Chuck said swiftly. "Personally, I'm going with the latter for the sole reason that you've had years of practice."

"Think again, Bass," Blair said.

"I'm getting really tired of this game," he finally admitted. "You're denial of what you feel will only hurt you in the long run. And you know I like quite the opposite of hurting you, lover."

"Don't call me that," she snapped defensively. He was beginning to like this game, come to think of it.

"You didn't seem to mind it last night," he drawled articulately. "In fact, supposing from your high pitched tones of my name, I would say you rather enjoy that little pet name. Including the countless other things I introduced to you in a strangers bed, might I add."

"What do you even think you have to gain here, Chuck?" Blair said weakly, stopping. "You _stalk_ me in your limo again, for what? There are plenty of other women out there to demean. What makes me so special?"

Chuck couldn't help that she was probably the only woman that ever made the word "stalk" sound so goddamn sexy.

"Is that how I make you feel?" he asked quietly instead. "Do I demean you? Make you feel worthless?"

"No," she burst out. "Quite the opposite. That's what worries me."

Chuck sat back in the seat in satisfied surprise. These turn of events were quite pleasing. He hadn't been expecting it, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to take advantage of it.

"How do I make you feel, kitten?"

"Shut up," Blair muttered, looking to the ground.

Check. Pet names definitely got to her. He would keep that in mind.

"Tell me," he urged. "And I'll let you come in my limo."

"You're conceited self really thinks that's a bribe and not a threat," she shook her head.

"Considering many delightful memories were consecrated on this very leather, I would say yes," he grinned, "it is a bribe."

"One," she corrected. "It was once."

"I was talking about in the long run."

"You are the most self absorbed person I have ever met," Blair said thoughtfully.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

Check. Referencing old movies that Nathaniel had most likely never even heard of definitely got to her. He could tell by the way she easily slid in next to him.

"We're not doing anything in here," she warned him.

"For now," he said confidently. She rolled her eyes but he liked how she melded into his transport like she belonged.

"We're not doing anything," she reminded him, despite how many times their close proximity proved otherwise.

"And what do you suggest, princess?" he asked, smoothly bringing his arm around her shoulders. She glared up at him. Her expression softened.

"I lied."

"What?" he asked uneasily. Damn bitch always had to catch him off guard. She looked away from him, trying to find the words. She hated how nervous he made her.

"To Serena," she said disjointedly. He was the only man- nay, _person_ to make her feel uncoordinated. And the way he was stroking her shoulders was very distracting.

"I don't think it was a mistake."

Under normal circumstances, he would kept in indifferent facade just to keep the power. She was different. She was always different.

"I didn't think it was a mistake," she amended. "After the first time."

He was leaning in, knowing he had won the battle.

"And the second..." she said softly as he neared her.

"And the third," he said warmly into her mouth.

"No," she said, trying to squirm away to no avail. He was sure even she didn't want to put distance between them. "Not here."

"Tell me," he urged.

"I..."

"I've never needed anyone like I need you."

She stared and only one thing seemed to make it out of her mouth.

"Stalking only looks good on you."

He smirked. "You know where my suite is."

"Let me out here," she said uncomfortably, knowing she would show exactly when he would need her that night. Exactly when he would want her... the way he always wanted her.

"See you tonight," he taunted.

She wasn't liking him being right all the time.

**Sans Spark**

_There's no spark between you two. Never was._

Okay, so, he made a mistake. But this time, it so wasn't his fault. This was just something that happened. Unfortunately for him, it opened his eyes to something he should never have seen. He hated cleaning the pieces of Blair that had splattered all over the wall. It wasn't his job. Never was, never would be.

She was drunk. That had it be it, right? Saying that Chuck Bass was drunk was like saying Georgina Sparks was a hooker. He never really stopped being that way. Blair on the other hand, didn't get drunk that often. At least, she didn't used to. Not until Serena left.

But there he was, pulling her inebriated self into his limo for her own sake and something happened that never should have. Maybe if it didn't, none of this ever would have happened. Maybe he wouldn't have noticed the other obvious thing. But it did and he did and now... he was just lost.

When he kissed other women, it was just a kiss. Just the way sex was just sex. It was meaningless. Meaningless pleasure just to fill the void and time. Her wide eyes faltered on him and he wasn't sure what he was seeing.

He was saving her again when he had no right to.

Her kiss was honestly nothing he had ever experienced before. He wanted sex. He wanted the pleasures of the flesh. But she was just so damned innocent, it was infuriating. He knew if he just sat there she wouldn't continue. He couldn't reciprocate or his world would come tumbling down.

So he didn't.

But that didn't mean he didn't feel it. He felt it. He didn't know what it was, but he felt something. He was fire. It was electricity. It could have been his imagination.

He knew it was different from the beginning. She leaned forward clumsily and their lips met. But it was only for a second, even though it was a second too long. Because when they met in that instant, he was forced to jerk away at the electric shock. He could have imagined this was well.

But when she pulled back instantly as well, he knew she had felt it too.

He wasn't even considering accosting her the next day. But his pride was at least assuming that she deemed it a mistake (which it most certainly was, considering best friends and boyfriends.) She didn't even do that. He didn't know if she remembered it or not, but it was like it had never happened. He spent hours contemplating if he had made the whole thing up.

He realized he hadn't.

"Hey, man."

Nathaniel's voice never failed to pull him out of his thoughtful reveries. Nathaniel didn't have any of his own.

"Hey," Chuck said raspily, clearing his throat. He didn't like how she was affecting him this way.

"Where were you last night?" Nate asked.

"I was," Chuck paused for only a millisecond, knowing Nate wouldn't notice. "Sorry. Prior engagement."

Nate laughed and he knew exactly what was going through the naïve boy's head. It was what he wanted to go through his head. The complete opposite of what had actually happened.

"You should have called up Blair," Chuck said slowly, not exactly sure what he was doing. Nate simply shrugged and Chuck recoiled imperceptibly. Blair was really hurting and no one was noticing. No wonder she went around kissing her boyfriend's best friend. It wasn't like Chuck had stopped respecting her or anything, it was just something to think about. And now it all made sense.

And like a phoenix from the ashes, Blair descended the staircase of Constance, approaching her boyfriend.

"Hey," she said, pressing her lips to Nate's.

"Hey," he replied dully. Chuck watched in interest as Blair studied him with scrutiny. In his opinion, she was trying too hard. She tried too hard to engage him and pressed her lips too hard to his. He knew what she was doing and it wasn't working. It didn't work flawlessly and just flowed. She had to work to make Nate react. And even on the rare occasion he did, he was still looking at Serena.

"Chuck."

He hadn't expected her to see him that day. He really didn't think she would deign to grace him with her presence at his suite. But there she was, sans Nate, and Chuck knew exactly the reason why.

He watched her sit stoically on his bed and he knew that she had come for a very specific reason.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He knew this was just for propriety's sake and usually he would give her a hard time. But he couldn't do that now. Not after everything.

"What's it like for you?"

"What's what like?" he asked, speaking for the first time.

"Being with another person," she embellished. "Is it... easy?"

"Easy," he repeated.

"You don't have to try," she explained. "Things just happen and passion just..."

"Passion doesn't just happen," Chuck said, sitting beside her.

"You have to work at it," Blair nodded.

"No."

Her brows crinkled and he looked away, no matter how adorable her appearance was to him.

"It takes two certain people to meld together to create something electric."

"And that happens to you all the time," Blair muttered to the floor.

"No. Hotness and passion are two very different things," he grinned. She looked up at him and scowled, but he knew she was amused.

"When passion happens, it's because it's right."

"I thought I knew what it was," she said quietly, more to herself. So did he. Apparently they were both proving each other wrong. "Now I'm confused."

She wasn't the only one. He had no idea what was happening to him. What he did know, however, was he was a loyal best friend. And this wasn't happening. This wasn't going to happen and that was that.

"Chuck."

He looked up into her probing gaze.

"Last night didn't happen."

Finally. At least she wasn't wounding his ego by ignoring him. But she was right.

"What happened last night?" he smirked. She favored him a small smile and it suddenly occurred to him that he never saw it in public. Ever. Or around other people.

Strange.

"Thanks, Chuck."

That would be all the thanks he would get.

For now.

**Fireworks**

_Nate and I have- had plenty of spark. Better than that: fireworks._

_That was us._

Blair really thought it was just because it was her first time. That made sense, right? She was excited and finally getting rid of the virginity that was the cause of so much despair for the past 16 years. That's why her skin was humming at the moment.

It wasn't the boy that was gently pulsing on top of her, giving her something she never had before. That's what made her skin so hot. It might have also been the asphyxiating heat plaguing the limo. Not that she was complaining.

It was harder to convince herself the second time. It could have just been that she was turning 17. And getting a $35,000 necklace could be exciting in its own right. That didn't explain the tear she felt in her heart when he placed the friendly kiss on her shoulder, though. You don't feel your blood churn when a _friend_ kisses you in such a _friendly_ way. You don't. She was sure of it.

The thing about Chuck Bass was, though, he made all those rules muddled. And now, she didn't know which way was up and which way was down. Especially when she was on her back with his heat completing her.

He scared her. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this. This wasn't how people in a relationship acted around one another. That's why they weren't in one. She had never had fantasies that made her sweat in the middle of Pre-Calc. It was... unseemly.

Which was exactly the reason she excused herself for the bathroom in the middle of class. She couldn't very well be thinking of how one Chuck Bass would be making her scream in the back of his limo when about half the class had graced his bed with their stupid, slutty presence. Bitches.

Blair looked at herself in the mirror of the bathroom. She officially had a sheen of sweat across her forehead. Jackass. He wasn't even in the same room, even the same _building_, and he had already worked her up into a frenzy.

"Skipping class, Waldorf? I thought better of you."

Blair resisted from shrieking out in surprise. She had the practice of keeping quiet in the past weeks. Hand to her heart, Blair whirled to see him, the bathroom door closing behind him.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked breathlessly.

"Well I was hoping to catch some unsuspecting and easy freshmen off guard, but this is so much better."

"Did I ever tell you how charming that persona is?" she asked dryly.

"You should more often," he grinned.

"Now if you don't mind," she said with a roll of her eyes, turning back to the mirror to right her hair, "I've got things to do."

"Ah, yes," he acknowledged, advancing her so their eyes met in the mirror. "The demanding pastimes of bathroom adventures. You know I could help you in that department."

"Stop," she said, shirking away from his searching touch. She didn't like that she was the reason his brow was knitting with frustration. And that was frustrating in itself. More and more she found herself caring about what he thought of her and making him happy. She had never felt this way about anyone before and frankly, it was freaking the hell out of her.

"What's with the sudden change of tune, Waldorf?" he asked bitterly. "Especially after that little trip you took to my suite the other night. You know, the one you did instead of hanging out with your best friend."

"Not here, Chuck," she said softly.

"Why are you resisting this?" he asked in her ear.

"I..." she practically stuttered. God, she was such a girl. She wasn't supposed to act this way by some guy. She didn't even act this way around Nate. Ever. "I don't know."

He stroked her hair softly off her neck.

"Someone could come in," she said, trying to dissuade him. She found that this was becoming harder and harder.

"Just like in Serena's bathroom last week?" he smirked wickedly.

"Stop," she said again, though her resolve weakening. He could tell, too.

"What are you doing, Waldorf?" he sighed. "You know we're inevitable."

"And how do you know that?" Blair asked.

"Because of the fireworks."

As he backed out of the bathroom, she knew she didn't have to ask his meaning. She understood completely. Again, she found herself at his suite like so many times before. This time, she would allow herself to lose control. This time, she would admit what was happening to her. She would let herself love him.

Before he could even give some snarky comment as he opened his door, she attacked him like the ferocious kitten that he called her in the dark hours and he found his back against his bar, without being able to even close the door. She quickly took care of that for him and her hands were all over him suddenly.

"You're right," she said.

"Usually am," he gasped, trying to regulate his breathing. She really was his feisty little kitten.

"Shut up," she snapped. "I've never felt this way about anyone before and I would appreciate it if you didn't mock me for it. I've never felt this... alive. With anyone. _Anyone_. And you know it. I don't know what's happening to me. But I like it."

"Are you done now?" he asked impatiently. Her silence was enough and he grabbed her roughly. He pulled away suddenly. "But I could have told you that."

They went back to their fierce ministrations. He never really considered the connotation of fireworks before. He had seen them, of course, but he had never felt them before. However, suddenly color was blooming behind his eyelids and he felt so hot only kissing her would make him better. Only her purrs and screams of his name and contentment would make up for it.

"I've never felt this way either," he admitted into the darkness afterward. He had a vague hope that she already slumbered so not to cause vulnerability where he couldn't stand it. But suddenly her grip on him tightened and he had never been more glad that she was awake.

"I like this," she murmured thoughtfully, still enamored with the post coital bliss he wished would last forever. He had never relished being burned alive before.


	59. Remains of the J Part II

**A/N**: The following vignette is probably one of my favorite that I've written. Maybe for the sole fact that I miss steamy Chair sex. I know that no one wants to remember and her slutty liaison with Chuck, but allusions call and I must do them. And I had to do that one for my own peace of mind.

**Summary**: He knew that darkness in her that only he could invoke. And he liked that she could pretend to be pure and virginal to society while she would rasp dirty endearments in his ear in the dark.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG and Moulin Rogue as well.

**

* * *

**

**Break-Up Sex**

_What if there's sparks. Or fireworks, even? You know they say break-up sex is..._

She was a mess. Ever since he had come back she was just a quivering mess. He wasn't the way he used to be. He was cold and indifferent, shooting her cool looks. At least, when he first came back, that's what she thought it was. She was doing everything he asked. He had to have known the only reason she had gotten with Nate in the first place was just because she was trying to forget Chuck altogether. He was usually perceptive. He didn't seem to be getting it.

She still couldn't get over this overwhelming urge to please him. She remembered when they first got together, how nervous she was. It was a sobering action, to be with Chuck Bass in the most intimate way. She didn't want to disappoint him. She wouldn't have been surprised if she did. But he would suddenly cup her face in his hand in the most tenderest of actions and she didn't feel afraid anymore.

It was different now. She was terribly frightened. It was the intoxicating fear that only he could inspire in her. The scent of scotch on his breath used to thrill her with fire. Now... she couldn't think straight. It was more frightening when it wasn't just on his breath, it was all over him. He was drunk. Plain and simple. And she had never seen him this drunk before. Spirits made him be truthful which was usually what scared her. But for the first time since he returned from Monaco, he was looking at her the way he used to. With pure, unadulterated want. What she didn't want was that she wanted him back with the same vigor. Getting away from him would be the best option. Apparently, he wasn't about to let that happen.

"Hello, sweetheart."

His breathing was heavy and Blair found it difficult to believe that he would remember this in the morning. Because no matter how much she could lie to herself, she knew what was about to happen and she couldn't stop it. She could never say no to him. Not when he had embedded himself so deeply into her soul.

The party was still raging behind her locked door. She knew him. She knew how he operated. She knew she should have the same feeling as a trapped animal, stalked by a predator. But for the first time since behind closed doors at Cotillion, she had never felt more safe.

"Was it something I said?" he taunted. She could hear his muted footsteps on her carpeted floor. She knew he had taken off his shoes. She couldn't beat the thought of wanting him so much but she was sure this was what it was. Inevitable.

"Get out," was her weak attempt to rid him. And it was her last. She wasn't even sure that he heard her. He made no sign that he did. And when she thought about it, she was sure that the words never even made it out of her mouth.

"You're going to leave me," he uttered darkly. "Fine. But I know that Nathaniel, no matter how hard he tries, will ever be able to please you like I can so effortlessly. He can never match our compatibility. He can never make you scream, can he?"

She shuddered imperceptibly, still facing the bed while he told her such things.

"How was it for you?" he asked snidely, "when you pretended to give the virginity that will always belong to me? How hard did you try not to scream out my name in frustration?"

She closed her eyes, praying that her tears of truth wouldn't spill over. No matter how self assured he was, he would never understand how right he was. He would never understand the complete truth of his words.

"Waldorf," he laughed with bitter inebriation. "Why don't you look at me and just tell me?"

She found that she was so frozen she couldn't turn, even if it would please him. Even if she wanted so badly to please him.

"Blair."

She ignored him still. Suddenly he was upon her, his hands on her arms, turning her violently.

"Look at me, god damnit!"

His hand was enclosed painfully around her upper arm as she looked into his smoldering eyes for the first time that night. He was still a smoldering tempest of emotion and she knew her weakness. She couldn't let him in. But she already had.

"Ow," she said with quiet pointedness, honestly frightened of what he held the ability to do to her. And honestly frightened that she had never wanted him- no, anyone- this much in her life.

"You used to like it when I hurt you," he uttered darkly, pulling her into him dangerously. "Don't you remember?"

Blair tried to block out images of fingers pulling back hair with sexual vigor and her cries of pleasure.

"Well guess what? I'm not like your Nathaniel. You push me, I'm going to push you right back. And this is happening right now. I'm pushing."

And he pushed her right back onto her bed. She was done for. That much was certain.

"You're free to leave me," he told her, pinning her to her own bed. "But just don't deceive me." She turned her head away.

"Look at me," he commanded angrily again. "Keep your eyes open the entire time, princess. I don't want you to have any confusion over who's giving this to you."

She didn't. There was only one person who could ever touch her like he could. He should know this. Somehow, he just didn't. She took in a shuddering breath and he kissed her fiercely, sending a trail of fire through her blood.

"You're going to go back to him," he ground out in her ear. "But don't forget for one second the things that only I can do to you. You know it. I make us spark. And no one does that to you but me."

She opened her mouth but nothing came it. It wasn't the words that had been constantly brewing in her for the first time. It was the words that would make him stay. The words that would make her stay. But nothing came out. Just a strangled cry as he ripped her skirt apart in his haste.

"That's my girl," he groaned. This time, she had no qualms about him calling her that. He had forever marked her as his and she didn't really want anyone else. She couldn't. To be that she belonged to him was where she wanted to be. But she was sure that he didn't see it that way. He wouldn't be blackmailing her if he did.

It was when his teeth bruised her hip with his ministrations, nicking her skin slightly above her waistline did she realize it. He was showing her he cared. Chuck Bass didn't emote but he did scheme. He was scheming for her and that was the most flatter (loving) thing that he could do. Even as his teeth cut into her soul. She knew there never really had been anyone else.

He fumbled for his belt as she lay in her tattered skirt, her stockings already pulled off her smooth legs by his eager hands. As if she knew he would come to her. His hands were clumsy and she almost went to help him with it. But she knew no good would come of that. She was completely at his mercy because she knew this was a one-time thing. He was angry at her. He was angry at Nathaniel. She and Chuck weren't together anymore but they still held so much passion for each other. They still had fireworks.

He finally made quick with his zipper and his gaze penetrated into hers. She was breathing harshly and she finally saw that smirk that she missed to kiss on his face. It was her Chuck. The one that she walked away from on that dance floor and when she came back, was nowhere to be found. But he was here again.

He was in her bed. But only for so long. Because when this was over, she knew they still wouldn't be together. She still couldn't say the thing that was stuck in the back of her throat. She had to go back to Nate because it was what Chuck expected. She had to go back to Nate because that was just what had to happen right now. She had felt betrayed by Chuck, but still couldn't help her surging feelings for him.

His hand was in her hair and he pulled her head back, forcing her to look into his eyes. The eyes that would forever hold her at his mercy. He could do wonders with those eyes. He could take down nations with those eyes.

In one moment, they lived eternities. For that moment where they were just lost in each other, she could pretend that she wanted to pretend with his best friend. She could pretend she still didn't need to have the one person she shouldn't. But it was only one moment. And there were only few euphoric moments after that. And then it would be over. So she savored this for as long as she could.

His mouth was on hers again and she clenched her eyes shut, wanting it to last forever. He nipped her bottom lip harshly, emitting the sound he wanted from her, earning a growl from him. He saw that her eyes were closed and clutched her even tighter.

"I told you that you were going to look at me," he threatened. "You are going to keep your eyes open the entire time, lover. You're going to know it's me."

She never forgot. But she obeyed anyway. He pushed his pants down past his hips and she mewled with lust, something she had not felt for so long.

"Say my name," he commanded.

She could have gotten control of this situation. She could have said a different name, a name that inspired so much jealousy in him and maybe this would be over. But Chuck always had the uncanny ability to make her lose control. He could always make her want to lose control. It was something only he could inspire and she would soak up as much as possible while she still had him. She still had him wanting and breathing against her.

"Say it," he said even louder, against the pounding music of the party downstairs.

"Chuck," she finally gasped, finding her breath at last. "Chuck."

"Good girl," he rasped, still kissing her.

"Chuck," she whispered again. "I need you."

"Yes, you do," he grated huskily. "You do."

Like he was trying to convince himself but Blair needed no convincing. She was his. She was always his. She couldn't dare say that she missed him so terribly she cried so much. No one really knew that. Her mother didn't. Serena even didn't. Nate sure as hell didn't. She would tell Serena that she had homework to do when she would really sit on the floor of her walk in closet where her silk negligee and hidden necklace were and just cry for hours on end for the boy who would never be hers. If anyone found out, it would be destruction. No one could know. No one would ever know.

"Again," he demanded.

"Chuck," she said, intuitively knowing what he wanted. "I need you. I always need you."

That was as far as she would get. It was too close to her true feelings anyway and this fragile house of cards would come tumbling down. Those words stuck to the back of her throat again and she could almost say them. But she didn't.

"Always," he responded, even if it was more to himself. He constricted his grasp on her hair. "Again."

"Chuck."

"It's always been me."

"Always."

It came out of nowhere. She hadn't even registered the removal of her underwear. He was always like that. They always melded together in the most impossible ways. And she was suddenly screaming in oblivion with his corresponding bass pitch in unison. They met each other in perfect synchronization and perfect passion that she knew only existed with him. She wouldn't be happy without it.

It was the last word she said to him before he told her he would keep blackmailing her. He would keep doing it because he couldn't bear to see her with someone who would never quite reach the heights that they had together.

She screamed his name like he wanted and it was over. He hadn't even removed his shirt. Neither had she. She knew that this would just be a distant dream in his darkened mind and she wished he would remember it to the degree that she always would. She wished he would know how willing she was to accommodate him. Always.

She lay stunned on her back as he pulled up his pants. He was still breathing harshly and she could still had his aftertaste of scotch coating the inside of her mouth where his tongue plundered it. She literally couldn't move.

He was leaning over her and she knew it was for the last time. He enveloped her lips with his with a whisper. "Goodnight, my sweet."

It was only after she had righted her clothing and that he had closed the door behind him that she let herself be wracked with sobs. He would never hear the thing that left her throat only a second too late under the loud music and his drunken disorderly. He would never hear how she loved him.

She curled in on herself and let the shaking take her being as the make-up that wasn't already kissed away by him streaked into nothingness. She was surprised by the tender hands at her shoulders.

"B?"

He didn't call her that. He never did unless he was taunting her. It wasn't him. And it never would be again.

"Oh, B," Serena's soft voice said sadly. For once, Blair didn't curse her pity. His love scent was still all over her and she couldn't hold herself together. Blair just cried harder as Serena hugged her from behind. She didn't even realize she said it until Serena responded with a sad sigh.

"I know."

For the life of her, Blair would never know why she said it. It wouldn't help her. He wouldn't come back because of something she said to her best friend. He could never understand how he had ruined her for good. But she still did. And she would never stop.

_I love him._

_I know._

"So much it hurts."

And she would never stop. No matter the boyfriends she went through or the facades she would put up, it was one undeniable fact. She loved him, not matter what she told herself.

**Party**

_We're at a party full of people in Chuck's room. And he and Vanessa are right behind a wall._

_Doesn't it excite you?_

Chuck Bass held an annual party commemorating the beginning of midterms and once again, the beginning of his indifference to all things school related. She almost didn't go. Just because things were messy when she was around him, didn't mean that she had to ignore her social obligations, however. Chuck Bass always threw the best parties and her not turning up was not only an insult, but she would pay for it with her crown.

Fortunately, he was the host, and therefore would have girls hanging off of him throughout the night. Not that she cared. She definitely didn't. If some slut just happened to be socially destroyed during the night, it wasn't like she could control it. It would just be fate. No matter what the bastard said.

"I'm surprised you came," Serena said as they walked into the penthouse. Not that it took a lot to impress Serena, but Blair was just glad that she wasn't on her case for the uncontrollable things that occurred in the night.

Blair for one, was surprised that it wasn't being held at _Victrola_. At least it wasn't being held in Chuck's suite. Not that it mattered, but she found it altogether too small.

Yet Blair still opted to play dumb.

She wasn't here for him. She just wasn't. She was here for her reputation and even Serena, if the occasion called for it.

"I wouldn't miss it," Blair said distantly, checking out the competition.

"Oh really?" Serena asked coyly.

"I know that look," Blair cut her off. "And I know you're getting the wrong idea."

"Fine," Serena sighed. "Then what are we going to do?"

"We're going to go dance," Blair said, pulling Serena into the throng and absolutely not paying attention to pair of calculating eyes that had been on her since she entered. At least, she would be pretending not to notice if she actually had noticed. Which she promised herself she wasn't going to.

"Blair."

Maybe coming had been the wrong idea.

"Trust me when I say I know strategy for having all eyes on me."

Serena really wasn't getting any more modest.

"Of course," Blair said over the loud music, "because everyone looks at the celestial Serena van der Woodsen."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Serena replied.

_If you know what it meant_.

"What I meant is that it's working."

"What's working?"

Serena hid a smile as Blair did a nonchalant twirl, scanning the room. She knew exactly what Blair was looking for.

"He's by the bar," Serena said. "Surprise, surprise."

She watched in satisfaction as Blair turned fractionally to no avail.

"Looking for me?"

Blair froze, her eyes trained to the bar, his voice coming from the opposite direction. Serena was getting too clever for her own good. And seemed to be making herself scarce. Traitor. She wasn't here to fraternize with boys that she had no business fraternizing with. At least, that's what she had tried to tell herself the first couple of times. Now it was just... right.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Blair said spinning away from him on the dance floor. She watched with contentment as he glared at the other guys on the dance floor.

"And what are you looking for, Bass?" she asked quizzically.

She shouldn't have asked.

His large hand had suddenly closed over her dainty wrist as he pulled her body into his.

"You."

Well that went without saying.

"What are you doing?" she asked. They were in public. They weren't supposed to be doing this.

"Relax, Waldorf," he drawled. She could smell the scotch. She hated how she had become so accustomed to it that it didn't repulse her anymore. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't really remember when it used to.

"We're just dancing."

"You don't dance," she replied dryly. "Not here anyway."

"I could think of other venues we could move to."

And it was that sort of tone coupled with a seemingly innocent sentence that really wasn't what frightened her about him. She wasn't scared of anything. But he made it seem that way.

"It's not very gentlemanly to evade your hosting responsibilities," Blair said lightly, pulling away from him gently.

"Whenever did I say I was a gentleman?"

"When you asked me if I was sure."

Even though she had caught him, she knew that she had actually made her lose that round. It was only then that she found herself behind closed doors as the party throbbed behind it. It was dark and it was sexy and she knew there was only one way that this could go.

She wanted it.

The dresser was hard against her back as his urgent hands scattered things across the surface in his haste. He was always eager and it never ceased to amaze her. She never really could get used to him wanting to be with her so much. It never made sense. But the sweet, dirty things he whispered in her ear each time seemed to prove otherwise.

Their hands ventured under clothes to meet scorching flesh as his mouth found her ear again.

"I saw the way they were staring at you."

It was only in these infrequent moments would he show his true jealous colors.

"You haven't been happening to be playing the field with the other elite from wealthy private schools, have you?"

"And risk venturing into back rooms at crowded parties?" she asked scornfully. "No, I only do that with you."

"I'm flattered."

The weird thing was that he actually sounded like he was. She placed her hands gently on his designer clad shoulders. It was still at times like these where she felt insecure. She was in a dark room with the Lothario of the Upper East Side. And he still wanted her. She felt herself freezing up again. He should be bored already. Why did he keep pursuing her?

"Hey, beautiful," he said quietly, tipping her chin with his fingers. "What are you afraid of?"

She hated these candid moments with him. He seemed like a real person and she knew that she had a habit for falling for real people. People who cared and treated her this way. She knew this because it was only happening once.

Right now.

That's why she was good at misdirection.

She pulled his head in roughly and she felt him grunt with surprised appreciation. She liked those sounds, no matter how vulgar they sounded. Because they definitely did sound vulgar. Definitely.

She was also usually surprised at the pace things went after she made the first move. It usually went that way because she knew he was insecure about her wanting to be with him. She just couldn't understand why. He was so... self assured. Confidence could get you anywhere and she was anything but that when she was alone. He could take anyone. But he wanted her.

Being sprawled against one of Chuck Bass's many beds was a sobering experience. Whenever she was like this she couldn't help but wonder who had been here before and if they had washed the sheets.

But then there were times where he would whisper things in her ear with the most sincerity and she really did believe that she was the only one he brought to such places. Then again, he probably just said that to all the girls. But there was something in her that told her that she wasn't like the rest of them. It wasn't ego but truth. He just treated her different. She could feel it in her bones when he looked at her. Even in compromising situations such as this.

When she was with him, her mind was just gone. She only got it back when she realized that she was half clothed and could hear the metal of his belt buckle being undone. And she remembered where they were. She tentatively brought her hand over his, stilling his movements.

"What?" he asked and she could hear the slight impatience in his voice. It was very rare that she refused him and he didn't like it. He was rarely refused anyway, but he liked the way she looked at him. He liked that when she looked at him, it seemed she was really seeing him and not the Chuck Bass mask he put on for the public. Because she knew him like no other. And when she shirked away his touch, he just wanted to ignore it.

He laid his weight on top of her, covering her mouth with his. He didn't like her protests.

"Chuck," she said breathlessly. It was a good sign when she could barely speak. It meant that he was winning.

"Don't turn away from me now."

He never let that pleading tone enter his voice but she was above the grain. He couldn't explain himself when he was with her. It was like he was a completely different person. He was still Chuck Bass but he was more her Chuck instead of what people perceived him to be.

"Not here," she said uncertainly.

"Here?" he asked incredulously. "What's the difference between here in my suite?"

She had to think about it because her mind was doing that fuzzy thing again.

"You'll give yourself to me in the back of some moving car, but this is beneath you?"

He was annoyed. He didn't like being teased.

Okay, he liked the games they played but only because she was Blair.

"There's a party right outside this room..."

"That didn't stop you on your birthday," he said. He had been waiting to use that against her. "As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember you crawling on top of me."

"Someone could come in," Blair said, getting increasingly more uncomfortable. He had a propensity to inspire that in her. But then he was stroking her hair and all she could do was sigh.

"Doesn't it excite you?" he asked devilishly.

That's really what it came down to. He knew that darkness in her that only he could invoke. And he liked that she could pretend to be pure and virginal to society while she would rasp dirty endearments in his ear in the dark.

"Do I excite you?" she asked after a moment's hesitation.

"He doesn't know what he's missing," Chuck replied as an affirmation. They both knew who he was talking about. "Do I excite you?"

It was questions like that which made her forget that there were friends that would love to watch her burn on the other side of the wall. It was sincerity like that which made her stop pushing away his belt to pulling it against her own hips in urgency. She could never really voice how much she needed him but she could always show him.

"If he walked in on us," Chuck said huskily, with flesh pressed against flesh, "right now and saw how much you thoroughly enjoy screaming my name, what would you do?"

He was always uncertain of her answers to this. But then she would look straight into his eyes and tell him the truth.

"I wouldn't care."

And then he was groaning into her with intoxication. It wasn't a lie at all, actually. If Nathaniel Archibald actually had walked in while Chuck and Blair were sweating with fervor against each other, she really wouldn't have been able to care. And as much as she tried to care in the future, she just couldn't find it in herself to do so when she was with anyone other than the devil himself.

**Nothing. Nothing.**

_So we're clear? This is just between us? This means nothing._

_What means nothing?_

It's what it usually meant to him. Nothing. He didn't screw to feel wanted or acknowledged. He screwed because he didn't have anything else. He didn't have love or consideration. He was dead inside. So he banged chicks. It was what he did best besides destruction.

_She _had to change it all. She had to make him different than his arrogant self. He was still his arrogant self but she saw something different. And now that she was gone, he didn't want to go back to being nothing. When she used to look at him, he was worth something. But he was just back to being Chuck Bass, spoiled rich kid of the Upper East Side.

Vanessa was the opposite. It was easier that way. She didn't smell angelic or have soft hair. She didn't wear designer clothing or snappy comebacks. But she did try to sabotage Nate and that was the difference. He was able to pretend for one night because for a split second, she almost acted like Blair.

It was better that he didn't think about her but it was worse when he didn't. A part of him was missing. She had taken it hostage and it was a part of him that he would never get back.

Stupid bitch.

Stupid perfectly beautiful bitch.

He hated her.

He loved her.

"Well look at that," Chuck murmured as Vanessa turned to him, tears in her watery light eyes. They were so unlike what he wanted; what he needed. That was what made it right.

"This is your fault," Vanessa blamed him. "Now he hates me because I acted like Blair Waldorf."

"And now he is with Blair Waldorf," Chuck mused. "Fate does have a sense of cruel irony."

"This was fate?" Vanessa spat.

"How could it not be?" Chuck asked. "Blair is with her perfect prince charming. All is well in the world."

He turned his back on her and walked the hall to his room.

"That's all it was about, wasn't it?" Vanessa asked, following him. "You didn't care. All you wanted was Blair."

He turned back sharply.

"And why would I care about you?" he sneered.

"You don't believe it," Vanessa said quietly. "You don't think that Nate and Blair are fated to be together."

"And what alluded you to that fact?" he asked acidly. "The fact that she stared when you kissed me or that she forced Nate into my own room to teach me a lesson?"

"She doesn't want you anymore."

"Apparently not," Chuck said, more to himself, hating how that sentence echoed cruelly around him.

_I don't want you anymore. And I can't see why anyone else would._

Fate was cruel. He knew he probably deserved it. He could take her leaving him. But what he couldn't take was tasting something so painfully beautiful and just to have it ripped away from him. Especially after he knew she had loved him, if only for a little while. And just to know that he could have had her, if only he had been quick enough. He could have said it and he could be... _happy_. He didn't know what that would be like, but for the first time in his life, he actually wanted to find out.

"Why are you still here?" Chuck asked sourly.

"I just want to be with him," Vanessa whispered. And before he could stop her, she had leaned into him. His reflexes were lightning quick and she gasped as he wrapped his hand around her throat, pushing her away.

"Do you know why I'm doing this?" he asked.

"Because you have a sadistic sense of romanticism?" she asked.

"Because as much as you'll be pretending that you're not with me, I'll be pretending that I'm with someone else."

"I know."

"Good," he replied. And he pulled her into his room.

It was dark. That was the way he liked it. He could pretend easier. Her hair was dark enough that in the moonlight, it could pass for someone else's. But he didn't dare intertwine his fingers in it the way he used to because he knew the texture would be all wrong. The smell was all wrong and the taste was all wrong. But moans that melted into the night could pass for anything so he just continued to pretend. It was better that way.

It was fast and he sort of hated himself for it, thinking of how it could be so much better. But thinking of Blair with Nate quickly rectified that.

The girl was submissive. That wasn't right either. If anything, he thought the feminist would want to be dominating. He supposed that she was just vulnerable and let herself be submissive. But when Blair was vulnerable, she bit his bottom lip so blood was drawn. She scratched her nails down the length of his back and laughed when he groaned with pleasure laced with pain. It was different and he knew that Vanessa was aware of this. That was why when he said it, she didn't complain or even mention it. She would be a hypocrite.

"Blair."

She didn't say anything because really, it was just filling the void. Chuck couldn't even feel anything that night. He felt nothing after that. Because Blair was gone and that's what he was. Nothing.


	60. Seder Anything Part I

**A/N**: At least one of you liked the S1 throwback I did, so here's another one. Which is actually completely unintentional considering that I wrote these months ago, but here we go anyway. I have to admit, I'm liking the ones I've written for the ones towards the end of the 2nd season. They've come out better than the middle ones. And I'm really fond of the pre-series ones. I really like writing them.

**Summary**: There was that familiar glint in her eye and she was rising. And walking right towards him. He was sure she wore that dress just to get back at him as well. Spiteful bitch.

**Disclaimer**:Quotes belong to GG.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Sleeping Beauty**_

_Have we done this before?_

_I thought you'd remembered. Last year after_ Sleeping Beauty.

_I need to get a drink._

It was fitting, she supposed. In a way, she had always felt like she was in a dormant state. Nothing had really invoked anything in her anymore especially since her life started falling apart.

He really had to go and screw that up for her, now didn't he? He had to make her feel something for once (for him) and now look where she was. Heart broken, socially broken, and at a ballet about some fairytale that she really couldn't remember the premise of at the moment. Not when she could see him whispering in some girl's ear in his father's box seats.

She was going to kill Serena. This time for real.

"Come on, B," Serena said. Maybe she would have sounded apologetic if Blair had even cared. Which she didn't. She was too busy planning her best friend's demise.

"I'm fine," Blair said stubbornly.

"It's about to start," Serena said uncomfortably.

"That's why I'm fine here," she replied.

"Bart has his box."

"Are you really going to pretend to not knowing what's going on here?" Blair seethed, forcing herself not to look in Bart's said box.

"Are really going to just sit here like a commoner?" Serena asked, hitting her where it hurt. Blair knew she was beat. She sighed in defeat and rose to her feet.

"Fine," she replied. "But you have to sit between us."

"I deserve that," Serena muttered.

Quite honestly, the girl he had invited in the box was just for show. It was Blair's admittance back into society since she lost her throne. He wasn't completely stupid. He knew she was going to bounce back. He knew that she would gain her throne back and probably exact revenge on the one person who put here there.

Him.

The girl was just a defense mechanism. He wasn't ready for Blair yet. He knew sitting next to her during a dark show would wreak havoc on him and he definitely would not be able to restrain himself from mauling her.

She would like it, too.

He loathed Serena for pulling a fast one on him and inviting her best friend. He was pretty sure she knew what was going on with him and she did it just to mess with him. It wasn't fair. And he was sure that Blair would stay stubbornly where she was. But then there was that familiar glint in her eye and she was rising. And walking right towards him. He was sure she wore that dress just to get back at him as well. Spiteful bitch.

One look from Serena and he knew he had to send his distraction away. Blair wouldn't have done anything. Yet. It was quite possible she would slip arsenic into his scotch later. At least, that was a fantasy of his. It was for the sole fact that it would show that she still cared. She didn't even look at him anymore. After what he did, he didn't blame her. He had been hurt and he lashed out. But she had been hurt too and this needed to happen so they both realized that they cared for each other. Except, he wasn't sure if she cared for him anymore.

He was desperately trying to convince himself that he didn't care in return. Right as she walked up those stairs in a dress that drove him crazy. She should know. He couldn't fathom why she couldn't.

Serena's cold stare told him he was doing what he shouldn't be doing. He was smirking. It seemed like that sort of expression had been banned in the van der Woodsen-Bass household. Especially since Serena seemed to know what sort of quivering mess it turned her best friend into. And he was going to exploit that with all that it was worth.

"Waldorf," Chuck said triumphantly as she passed. The small space forced the back of her knees to brush against the front of his as he refused to make room. He had to also restrain himself from grasping her hips sharply and pulling her down onto his lap. Where she belonged. He felt the air tremor between them as she shot him a cool glance that might as well have said _Bass_.

He scowled as she skipped the seat next to him. And it was quickly occupied to his sister. He should have seen that defense but it didn't mean he wasn't disappointed. He was about to taunt Blair about his effect on her until Serena leaned into his ear.

"Don't even think about it, Chuck," Serena growled. "It took a lot to get her here and you're going to make this a pleasant evening for her, I swear to God." She paused and sent him a slight smile. "She doesn't want you anymore."

"Prove it," Chuck said darkly. Serena looked taken aback at his sudden honesty and watched as he sat back to enjoy the show. She had only expected him to act this way because he liked giving Blair a hard time. Not because...

"Chuck-"

"Shh," he silenced her with a look. The orchestra started to swell. "I'm trying to enjoy the show."

That was what worried her.

* * *

Blair knew he was aware of the looks she gave him. It was during intermission that she was really worried. She didn't like this. She hated how he commanded her attention. The second act began and she knew he wasn't coming back from his departure. He claimed getting a drink but she knew better. She knew where he was going and what he was about to do. She hated how it cut her deep.

"Where's Chuck?" Eric asked with interest as _Sleeping Beauty _came to a close.

_Screwing the lead Bolshoi ballerinas. _

Skinny Russian bitches.

"One guess," Blair muttered. She saw Eric grimace and there was no doubt in her mind.

"Mom's wants to leave. She doesn't like being scrutinized that Bart's on another call," Serena complained. "Where is he?"

Blair and Eric shared a look and she just shook her head.

"I'll get him."

Serena looked in surprise at Blair's retreating form.

"Blair," Eric said warily, following in pursuit.

"Do you know where he is?" Blair tested.

"No..."

"Well I do," she said. He gave her a questioning look. "He's been back stage since the second act."

"And you know that because..."

"I know," Blair just said stoically. Eric fell behind. He knew there was no stopping this disaster.

Blair easily slid open the door to the back of the auditorium.

"Excuse me," a stage director said. "You're not supposed to be back here."

She knew she didn't look like a statuesque dancer. Old news. That didn't mean that she didn't have a plan.

"I'm just looking for my boyfriend," Blair said innocently. "He came back here with the lead dancer, I think. His name's Chuck Bass. Have you heard of him?"

The stage manager's eyebrows when right up to her hairline.

"Um..."

"Dressing room?" Blair asked coolly, motioning to the room where unmistakable sounds were coming from.

"I don't think..."

"Thanks," Blair smiled sardonically and made her way. She pushed the door open, folding her arms over her chest expectantly. The dancer saw her first.

"Charles, darling," Blair sighed. She watched as his muscles tensed and he raised his eyes to hers. "You're family's waiting."

Blair turned her back and didn't need to look to know he was already rustling for his clothing. She heard slight sounds of the Russian girl's protests as Blair exited the room.

"You just loved that, didn't you?" came his angry rasp. She had forgotten how quickly he could get dressed when it mattered.

"Completely embarrassing you back stage?" Blair asked, keeping he stride steady. "Yes. It was very amusing."

"I'll bet."

His breath was still crashing in her ear and she knew this wasn't over.

"I'll bet you loved coming in there and pulling me off some girl."

"To be fair," she replied, "I didn't touch you."

"Like you didn't want to."

He finally got her to stop angrily and look him in the face.

"You think far to highly of yourself, Bass," she snapped.

"And you're too quick to forget about us, Waldorf," he sneered. "You were the one who just happened to pull me away."

"Eric didn't know where to find you."

"And the burden just to fell to you."

"Someone had to risk scarring their corneas," Blair sighed, walking again.

"Is that what you convince yourself at night?" he asked quietly. It wasn't a bid to get under her skin. So she stopped. She permitted herself another look of his disheveled appearance.

"Actually," she said, "I convince myself whatever may have transpired between us was temporary insanity. It won't be happening again. Ever."

"You screwed yourself on that one then," he began smirking again. Bad sign.

"Is that so?" she asked coldly. "Well I'm sure Nastia Luikin in there just loved the detour."

"She was a little aggressive," he grinned. "She does this thing where she bites me on the shoulder-"

"Suffice to say, that is more information than I care to hear," she said.

"-but it is nothing compared to the way I remember your nails scratching down my back."

He watched her recoil slightly.

"I still have the scars to prove it."

"Maybe she'll learn that for next time," Blair said shakily, hoping that he couldn't see right through her.

"Next time?" he snorted. "You're aware that I don't sleep with the same girl more than once."

He watch her body stiffen to his satisifaction.

"Present company excluded, of course," he said gently, smoothing his hand over the shoulder of her dress. She was sure the reason had to do with seduction but he was already undressing her with his eyes so much that she couldn't think of anything else.

"Maybe I would have had a chance of believing you before," he continued with their previous conversation. "But when you walked in just then, I have never been more convinced in my life of your feelings for me."

It was true. And as she walked away in her furious defeat, he was also never more convinced that she had worn that dress just for him.

**Constance Mother-Daughter Luncheon**

_You could have thrown in a few boys from the lacrosse team and it would have been the Constance Mother-Daughter Luncheon all over again._

It was dark in the corner which was exactly what Blair needed. She focused her attention on her pale hand but couldn't still the shaking that caused her cell phone to rattle. She listened to the dial tone, the phone still attached to her ear. With a deep breath she snapped her phone shut. It wasn't enough to stop her tears.

She took in heavy, shuddering breaths and pocketed her phone. In the distance she could hear the background noise of the luncheon in progress. The luncheon that she had no business being at anymore.

Then she saw him. And that was just the icing on the cake. Even worse, he was with some freshman. Chuck Bass had somehow infiltrated the Mother-Daughter Luncheon to get laid. By a freshman. All of the anger and self loathing pent up inside suddenly exploded.

Chuck had seen her out of the corner of his eye as soon as he entered in the back entrance. Of course Nathaniel was busy being the perfect son so he had nothing else to do. Crashing some luncheon for girls with daddy issues was really all he could think of to do short of meeting Jesse for a hash break.

As soon as he walked in, he knew coming here would have been worth it. However, as her clutch flew at his head, he was quickly re-evaluating this decision. He was just glad he had reflexes like a cat. The blonde freshman, however, did not. He tried to choke back the laughter as the girl's drink spilled and she jumped back with a shriek. He wondered vaguely if that was what she would sound like in bed. It was, at least, until he looked at the source of angst.

Blair was trembling, her rage filled eyes clouded with tears.

"What the hell?"

Chuck ignored the faceless girl's voice as he advanced on Blair. Her knuckles were white from clenching her phone so tight. Chuck picked up her clutch from the floor as he walked towards her. He held it out to her. She didn't go forward. She was just staring at him.

"Is there a reason I deserve your wrath?" Chuck asked with vague amusement. Her face was pale and he was slowly beginning to realize this was more than just a thrown clutch.

"Blair?" he asked uncertainly.

"No," she snapped and whirled around, leaving him holding her bag. He stared after her in confusion as she rounded the corner. He looked over into the main room and he knew suddenly what was going on. Serena and her mother had just entered. There really wasn't any other reason.

Chuck quickly followed in pursuit, not paying attention to some guys that obviously weren't supposed to be here either. He opened the door to the sunlight and looked at her on the front steps. Her hands were still shaking. He sat next to her and she stiffened. He was used to that and she would usually relax. This time she wasn't and he knew that it wasn't because of him.

"Blair," he sighed. "Why did you throw your clutch at my head?"

He was sure she was just going to ignore him like she was prone to do. Then he heard her swallow and a minute sigh.

"It's just hard," she said, her voice hoarse, "you know?"

He didn't need to push. He knew she would continue.

"Everything's harder when she's around."

He nodded even though he knew that she wasn't looking. Her scent became more concentrated as she rested her head against his shoulder. He couldn't help but tense at the foreign action. No one ever used him for comfort. There was a time when he and Blair would come to blows just for the competition. And now this is what they were. He was the only she could talk to. And she was officially leaning on him. This time, he was accepting it.

"Chuck," she said softly.

"Yes," he replied with uncertainty.

"I threw my clutch at your head."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Yes. You did." He knew it was the only sort of apology that he would get. He wasn't looking for one but it had taken him aback.

"I'm luckier than that freshman."

"Well she deserved it. And apparently you have nothing better to do than sneak into exclusive parties to get laid."

"Everything's harder," he echoed. She leaned away and he looked into her mascara smudged eyes. She was looking at him expectantly.

"What?"

"Help me up," she said with obviousness. He couldn't help but grin and comply. She just had an innocent quality about her that made him want to do things for her. She was exploiting it and he was going to have to look out for that in the future. He knew the countless number of times she used it against Nate. But she didn't know that it worked on him. At least, a little. But she was sad and whenever that happened, he just happened to be there when it did. And he helped.

Blair was still shaking against his body as he led her back inside.

"I don't want to go back in there," Blair said as Chuck tried to restrain laughter from the girl who was still trying to clean Cosmo off of her.

He turned towards the main room instinctively as he heard a ruckus.

"I don't need to go back in there to know that two lacrosse players are fighting over Serena," Blair said not even looking. He followed her diligently, marveling at the fact how natural it seemed.

"My mother's not coming."

He sighed. "I know."

She refused to look at him this time.

"My father hasn't been home for a month," he responded.

It was a telltale sign that he and Blair were true friends when she didn't look at him with shock or pity.

"Let's get out of here," Blair said instead. He looked down at his arm to see that her own hand was there.

"Gladly," he said, deciding to ignore the fleeting feeling of nausea.


	61. Seder Anything Part II

**A/N**: The last section is one of my faves that I've written. Some of these don't really have to do with Chair, but I just did things with the quotes anyway. Idk if some of this is OOC but w/e. I love the last section so much just so you know.

**Summary**: He thought she looked hot wearing his clothing. Hotter than usual, of course. But not as hot as he could imagine her sprawled, naked and panting across the leather interior of his limo.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG.

* * *

**Mess**

_I like him but it's kind of a mess._

_Sometimes those messes can be fun._

She knew it was him immediately as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. To her recollection, she couldn't really remember anyone touching her the way he did. Even Nate didn't give her such affection. There were fleeting touches and polite gestures. But with Chuck, the simplest and seemingly innocent caresses ignited a fire in her that flowed throughout her body.

Blair closed her eyes and leaned back into him. His chest vibrated from his deep throated and smug laughter. She liked moments like these when they were alone. He was different with her. She was sure she was different to him than the other girls. He had told as such when she would glare at the attention he received from others of the female persuasion, but it wasn't really words she was looking for. Words were just other excuses for lies. When he held her like this, she was positive of the feelings he couldn't fake, even if he couldn't admit it.

He was smug and that wasn't a quality she liked to inspire in him but he was just so different from anything else, she couldn't help but find him adorable. Even when she couldn't see his face. It made her forget that they were upstairs in her room when her mother was right downstairs and in this penthouse, sound traveled. She could tell by the death glares Dorota would send for violating her Miss Blair at Chuck when he would attempt to sneak up into Blair's room.

Oh, right. Her mother was right downstairs. But when his mouth was showing her neck that sort of attention, she couldn't help but forget.

"Hey."

She could feel lechery emanating from his every pore at the syllable.

"Hi," she said shortly, trying to hide the breathlessness in her tone as he continued to suck on her neck. From his next laugh, she could tell that she was unsuccessful.

Then it occurred to her.

"You're not supposed to be up here."

"How's that?"

"You knew my mother was coming home today."

"Yes," he nodded slowly. Then that mischievous smirk lit his features. "She ever so helpfully pointed me in the direction of your room. As if I didn't already know."

Blair pushed him away and he just shrugged.

"She didn't seem to have a problem with it."

"That's the innocent face before she attacks."

Chuck opened his mouth to argue (or just distract her) when her eyes caught the full length mirror.

"Chuck," she all but shrieked. He looked fully pleased with himself. He always liked it when she said his name like that. Blair's hands fluttered at her neck as she walked towards the mirror for further examination.

"Look what you've done to me," she exclaimed. He turned her around to examine the shadow forming on her neck.

"So?" he asked, then playfully licked her there.

"You're so disgusting," she couldn't help but laugh, pushing him lightly. Then she remembered she was fully angry with him.

"What is my mother going to say?"

"That you're lucky you have someone who cares enough to mark you with attention."

"If you're referring to your acts of vulgarity last night, then you should be ashamed."

"He was all over you," Chuck growled.

"So you decided to mark your territory?" Blair taunted.

"Are you calling you mine?"

That was the question, wasn't it? It was something they tiptoed around but never fully discussed. But it was to Chuck's knowledge the progression of things. He knew if he were able to behave himself she would take him out. In public. They would tell Nate and maybe he could give this girlfriend status a try. But he didn't like being on probation either and he knew it was his dangerous qualities that made Blair's insides turn to liquid. She got talkative when they drank together. And then she had a tendency to strip off her clothing to hungry eyes. He liked it.

So she answered in the way she usually did. The way he liked. When she first did it, he was taken unawares. No one ever looked at him like she did. And then she kissed him and he knew everything about her was sincere.

"You have to leave now," she sighed.

"Tease," Chuck said gruffly. She really had no idea what she did to him. She quirked an eyebrow.

"You knew I'd kick you out."

"But the chase is all the more fun," he said but let her push him out of her room.

"Miss you, lover," he called and she grimaced that her mother probably heard that.

"We'll see," Blair said and he threw a parting smirk as he descended the stairs. She waited a good ten minutes after fixing her hair over her neck before going downstairs.

"Was that Chuck Bass I just saw leaving?"

Apparently not long enough.

"You did let him upstairs, Mother," Blair said warily. She knew that Eleanor didn't really approve of the Bass way of life. Bart Bass was new money and he liked models. Sometimes Eleanor's models. Blair had to tread lightly.

"Just making sure," Eleanor replied. Blair nodded, letting the awkward silence stretch out between them.

"He's not that bad, you know," Blair finally said. "He has a certain reputation but he's not..."

"That bad?" Eleanor asked, finally looking at her daughter. "I never said such a thing."

Blair shrugged.

"He obviously makes you happy."

Blair couldn't help but let her eyes widen. Her mother knew something.

"According to Dorota's reports."

"Oh," Blair said in a strangled voice.

"I'm not blind, darling," Eleanor said and in an unprecedented act of affection, stroked Blair's hair from her face. "I know what it's like to be in love."

"Oh, I'm not..." Blair couldn't even deny it. She wasn't actually sure what this was. It was so different from Nate she hadn't really considered the fact that she could love Chuck Bass. But she loved being with him. And she loved the way he made her feel. And she loved the way he looked at her. She loved...

Oh, damnit.

"Uh huh," Eleanor just nodded. She knew and she had been home for the first time in a week. Her mother really knew Blair.

"Your gaurd's down."

Blair just shrugged, forgetting that it was a Waldorf family trait that your mask must be up at all times.

"You never would have let yourself get a hickey before."

"What?" Blair exclaimed at her mother's bluntness. But it was true and Eleanor was pushing her hair from her neck, looking at the obvious fact of Blair's failed defenses.

"It's not like that," Blair said. "I just..."

"Let your guard down," Eleanor filled in. "He makes you happy so you forget about propriety and society. I remember what that's like. But you have to be wary unless you want to start a scandal."

"I forget sometimes," Blair said distantly. It was strange to be connecting with her mother this way. She never really talked to her mother about things like these, especially after her father left. It just wasn't what they did. Chuck really was changing everything.

"Don't forget everything," her mother warned.

"He makes things different," Blair tried to explain himself. "He makes me better."

There was her mother's rare smile.

"I can see."

Blair wasn't really sure whether to take that as an insult or not.

"You can't even sneak around properly."

"I don't want to sneak around anymore," Blair replied.

"You want to be together," her mother pressed. Even in her daughter's life, she was still a whore for gossip.

"I feel things for him," Blair said awkwardly, not sure how to speak such a way to her mother. "Things I didn't know existed."

"That's good," Eleanor said. "I'm glad you're finally happy."

"I'm... fond of him," Blair continued.

"Fond?" Eleanor repeated with a knowing smile. Blair couldn't hide hers either.

"He's... special to me," Blair said, taking a deep breath. "But things are... sort of a mess sometimes."

"Sometimes those are fun."

Blair blanched. She knew her father couldn't have been like anything that. Sometimes she just wondered if her mother's teenage years were anywhere near as scandalous as hers.

"I like it," Blair said, finally getting a hand of this talking thing. "I shouldn't like how... vulgar and lecherous he is. But his darkness just... pulls me in."

She realized that this was her mother and she was probably sharing too much. Eleanor had returned to her sketches.

"Just wear some cover up before you go out in the public eye," Eleanor said indifferently.

That was the mother she knew.

**Stupid**

_It was stupid of me to think Blair changed._

_Yes._

_So. She's just... the way she is._

_What I mean is it's stupid for you to want her to be anything other than what she is._

In his opinion, Nathaniel Archibald was an idiot. Stupid. Too stupid to know what was in front of him. Blair knew it, too. She knew that Nate didn't really see the way she was right. They weren't a good fit. It wasn't like he thought he was better for her or anything.

Even if it was true.

But seeing her with tears streaking her face did hit him where it hurt. He couldn't take chicks crying. Especially if that certain chick would get drunk and fall into his arms.

He didn't hear it but he knew it happened. The argument wasn't hard to miss. He lingered behind the wall at school as they heard the squabble behind the corner at school.

_What the hell is going on?_

_It doesn't concern you._

_They're just girls, Blair._

_Like I said, it doesn't concern you._

_When are you going to stop with all of this childish scheming?_

_And yet you have allowances for your best friend._

_You always do this. You always bring him up._

_Because you love him more than me._

_He doesn't use and manipulate everyone around him. None of his friends hate him._

_That's because all he has is you. And me. And friends are overrated. I learned that after Serena left, remember?_

_What is that supposed to mean?_

_It means alliances are more reliable than friendships._

_You're so wrong._

_That's why all your friends are smarter than you. Why do you think you're his only friend?_

_This isn't about me. This is your incapability to connect with another human being._

_You're right. I don't have a capability to connect with you. I don't even know you. But then again, just ask Serena._

Chuck recognized the finality in her voice. With her final verbal spar he turned away before she could come barreling around the corner with tears in her eyes.

With the furious knock on his door, he knew exactly who it was. He leaned his head against the door. He pulled away, quickly checking before pulling it open.

He had been waiting for her. He knew she would come for him. She always came for him. He was the only one who really understood. He pulled it open slowly, leaning against the edge of the door. In an instant, he could tell how much alcohol she had consumed. Her blouse was untucked from her pencil skirt, her buttons askew so he knew exactly what color and how much lace was on her bra. He shouldn't, but it was just a talent of his.

"I know you saw us," she taunted, putting a shaky stiletto clad foot forward. He put his hand under her elbow, knowing she could fall at any moment.

"I knew you were there," she said, raising her head to meet his eyes, her hands on his chest. "I could feel you."

He stiffened. He should have remembered she got this way. He could remember since her father left.

"Things are different now, Blair," Chuck said. "You're okay now, remember?"

"Not quite," she said. "I need you. Like I did when they all left me. They always leave. The way you used to."

He remembered. The way they used to cling to each other the way no one else could. It seemed wrong. They didn't do anything but best friend's and girlfriend's really weren't supposed to be what they were. He pulled her into a tight embrace and felt her wrack with sobs. The way she used to.

"He doesn't love me."

"He's an idiot."

She pulled away, unfamiliar emotion clouding her eyes.

"Why do you think that?" she asked. "He's right. I'm vindictive and manipulative."

"You're perfect."

It was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Don't lie to me," she plead as though she wanted him to tell her the things that Nate did.

"I'm not."

"Why do you think that?" she asked again.

"Because you're just like me."

Blair buried her head in the crook of his neck. He held her close, knowing that this was more dangerous than he could ever imagine. More dangerous than taking care of her in her drunken state, her sleeping it off in his own bed. She was pulling away now and he knew their faces were too close together.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Blair," he said. "You're just the way you are. If he can't accept you for that..."

"He's my boyfriend," she said sternly.

"Still?"

"Do you not want him to be?"

"I don't know what I want," he replied. "I don't know anything anymore. And the things I do know... I shouldn't. The things I shouldn't feel, I shouldn't be feeling. And I still don't know what it is. It's not my place to want anything"

"I don't know what is is either," she said.

"You should rest," Chuck said, forcing himself to tear himself away form her.

"Shouldn't you be urging me to return to my boyfriend?" she asked, letting him lead her to his bed.

"Not like this," he said as she settled herself across the covers. "You don't want him to see you like this."

"You see me like this," she said, her back to him as she laid down.

"But I accept you."

He watched her sides move with her even breathing. He wondered if she was asleep already.

"Blair," he said.

"Yes."

"The things you said about me to him," he said. "Did you mean it?"

"I thought you said you didn't hear us."

"I never said that," he said, laying back against his pillows. There was a long pause before she answered.

"I know he loves you more than me," she finally said. "It's not hard to see."

"That's not what I meant." He knew it was true. "I really don't have friends."

She sighed and rolled on her back so she could face him. "Neither do I. At least you have Nate. I don't even have him. My best friend deserted me."

"You have me," he said with obviousness.

"I shouldn't," she said quietly.

"I know."

**Regret**

_I never apologized for what happened last year. I deeply regret my actions of that night._

"She better not show her face again."

"I'm actually hoping she will."

She knew that look in his eyes. She liked it. It was the mutual unadulterated hatred they shared and the passion they had for scheming. That didn't mean she missed it. She turned back to the cab that was housing her ex-best friend and her new boytoy. But she still saw it. The drip of blood descending his face as he hastily wiped it away, hiding it from her. She never missed anything. Especially when it came to him.

She waited several minutes before going back to him. She knew he was wounded internally as well as externally and that was a bitch on his pride. She quickly ordered a scotch (with a single ice cube) and continued her trek to the VIP section where he was behind the curtain.

He placed his scarf to his nose, trying to clot the bleeding. He looked up, furious that someone had interrupted his solitude, but relaxed a little when he saw it was only her. But only a little.

"What?" he asked in slight annoyance.

"Just take it," she said offering it to him.

"I've got one, thanks," he said shortly, drinking down what she could only assume was Ketel One. She sighed at his petulance. He was such a child sometimes.

"Not to drink, you idiot," Blair said, sitting on the couch with him and pressing it a little too roughly to his eye.

"Ow," Chuck said, trying to push her hand away.

"Just take it, Bass," Blair said, rolling her eyes. She watched the side of Chuck's mouth quirk up into a smirk.

"Funny, that's usually my line," he mused. She couldn't stop her light laughter and he looked pleased with himself. Who knew that she actually found his innuendos amusing. She was quite a woman.

"Here," she said, ignoring him. She took his scarf away to get better access.

"Hey," Chuck pouted.

"You can be without your precious scarf for a few moments," Blair said. "It's right here. You can see it the whole time. You wouldn't want to get it bloody anyway."

"You so get me," he grinned. She finally sat next to him as he let her dote on him. It was only with Blair that he allowed this. He put his hands on her thighs as an anchor. She was so used to such displays of affection she didn't even scold him.

He liked the feeling of the material beneath his fingers. He wondered what it would be like to peel it off...

_No, Bass._

He had promised himself he would stop thoughts like those. Nate was back in her life now and he had no claim. That didn't mean he wouldn't be able to please her more. Nate just kept disappointing her. She just didn't deserve that. She deserved everything. She deserved better than Chuck, he was sure of it. But right now, he was better than Nate and that pleased him to a degree.

"I thought you were going to wear the halter," Chuck said thoughtfully.

"I was," Blair said distantly.

"I liked that one."

"I'm sure you do," Blair smirked.

"This one is nice too," he said. "You now how I am a fan of the strapless. Nothing covering the nape of your neck."

Blair swatted away the hand that had ventured to her neck but she smiled slightly.

"My mother picked it out," she explained.

"Oh," Chuck said. He understood parental pressure. No questions asked. Blair shrugged.

"Whatever."

"It matters," he said, knowing what she was thinking.

"I thought you liked this one," she grinned.

"It's okay," he nodded. "But you liked the other one."

"How's your face?" she asked, pulling away.

"You should keep holding that there," he said, grasping her wrist so she put the glass back on his newly forming bruise, "just in case."

"If you insist," Blair sighed. "I just didn't know you were so delicate."

"I am _not_ delicate," he said darkly.

"Oh, right," Blair teased. "You're so masculine."

"I am," he said. "I just like having a beautiful woman fawning over me." He liked the way she averted her eyes when he complimented her like that. She only got shy around him.

"I'm just keeping your face numb," she said indifferently, but he noticed how she got closer. He liked it. Her thighs brushed against his and he looked at her arms that had raised goosebumps on them.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked, put his hand over her arm. "It's September."

"I'll live."

"Just have my scarf," he rolled my eyes. She looked at him with mock surprise.

"You treasured scarf?" she gasped. "Whatever have I done to deserve such a prize?"

"Just take it," he said, but laughed slightly. She was so melodramatic.

"That's usually my line," she sneered, but donned his patchwork across her shoulders anyway and returned to taking care of him. He liked how both were working out. He thought she looked hot wearing his clothing. Hotter than usual, of course. But not as hot as he could imagine her sprawled, naked and panting across the leather interior of his limo.

_Stop it, Bass. What are you _doing_? Best friends girlfriend, remember?... For now._

"Blair."

Chuck snapped from his thoughts to see the curtain move aside. Nate's empty, blue eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing?"

"Not that you'd notice," Blair said coolly, "but Chuck got into a minor altercation."

"Oh..."

Chuck knew Nate was eying the scarf across her shoulders but he didn't make anything of it. As usual. Instead, he turned on his heel without another word.

"He doesn't take care of you," Chuck said. "Does he?"

"Of course he does," Blair said stiffly, ignoring Nate's retreating form.

"Not like you're taking care of me."

She finally looked into his eyes and sighed.

"It's nothing," she said softly.

"I heard you broke up for all of 12 hours."

He saw her jaw clench and knew that it was best to drop the topic. That didn't mean he was going to.

"It was right to get back together."

"You mean proper."

"Not that it's anything you would understand," Blair frowned.

"If you were mine," he announced, "I would take care of you."

"Oh," she laughed, "okay."

"And then I would _take care of you_."

She met his eyes at his innuendo. Yes, he decided. He could die listening to that beautiful laugh of hers.

"Thanks, Bass."

"For you," he replied, "anytime."

She pulled away a final time.

"I think the swelling's gone down," she said decisively, studying his face.

"You can still stay."

She looked down to his hand was still resting on her thigh. It wasn't a completely foreign action and it wasn't exactly uncomfortable either.

"If you want."

He was still studying her thigh, caressing the silk between his fingers.

"I didn't mean it, you know."

"I know," Blair said honestly.

"It just... happened."

"Like it just happened with Serena?"

"Hey," he said darkly. "When I told you that..."

"Chuck, I know," she said soothingly, putting her hand on his arm. He looked at her perfect manicure and for the first time, he felt like he could breathe. Strange.

"Now I'm going to get some reputation for some notorious date rapist."

"How is that worse than it is now?" she asked. He smirked at her snap.

"Better than you figuratively gutting any threat that comes across your path?" he shot back. She looked at him fondly. He didn't really know what to think of that. When they were alone like this, there were just some things that he couldn't get over. No one ever looked at him like that. Like he meant something.

"You know I wouldn't do that," he added. "I was just..."

"Hey," she said with assurance. "I told you I know."

"I don't know how it happened," he said distantly. "I guess I just can't face rejection."

"It's hard," she nodded. "But I would never reject you, if it's any consolation."

He gazed at the light in her eyes. She really was beautiful.

"But that wasn't it," she assumed. "Was it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Chuck," Blair said reprovingly. She knew. She always knew. How was it that she did that?

"Some women are just unattainable, I guess," he murmured, never breaking from her gaze.

"It would appear that way," she said, entranced by his gaze. Always entranced by his gaze. Then she broke it. "You wouldn't want some girl from Brooklyn anyway."

"And S is probably crawling with Venereal Disease," he responded.

"Again," Blair said. "How is that different from you?"

"Because you deign to grace me with your presence," he said. They were close. Too close. It was strange like this. It felt so right... Except that it wasn't. "Why do you stay with him? If he treats you so badly?"

"He's your best friend," Blair reminded him.

"It doesn't mean that I'm blind."

"I guess I'm scared," she shrugged. "He's all I know. And it's..."

"Easy," Chuck said nonchalantly.

"Is that why you don't?" Blair asked. "Being vulnerable?"

"I don't because women are women," Chuck shrugged. "They're nothing special."

"Be still my heart," Blair said with a smile. "I see that active male role model in your life is being a help."

"My father fell in love and look what happened to him," Chuck said. "Now there's just a part of him missing. And he hates his son."

Blair scowled and Chuck knew what she was thinking. They had been over this before but Chuck was remaining strong. He wouldn't listen to anyone who would say that his father didn't blame him for his mother's death. He knew better.

"I don't think it would matter much," Blair said thoughtfully. "If something happened to Nate. I would care and I would be sad. But I think I would get over it easily. I love him but..."

"But if something happened to the Vanderbilt diamond on the other hand," Chuck said, "you would mourn that for the rest of your life."

"It's a possibility," Blair said rationally. She locked eyes with his again. "That makes me a bad person, doesn't it?"

"I don't think you're a bad person," Chuck said. "You know what you want. There's nothing wrong with that."

"You're the only one who seems to think so."

"It's because we're meant to be, my love," Chuck sighed, leaning back against the couch. "Once I get your boyfriend out of the way, I can finally have my way with you."

"I will be waiting apprehensively," Blair said, leaning against the couch. He closed his eyes against her proximity and pretty scent. She made him think of sex. He was going to have to accept that and get over it. And stop thinking of her as his partner in said fantasies.

"I wouldn't do that to you, Blair," he whispered suddenly. "I would never force myself on you."

"I know," Blair said with slight confusion. "Why are you telling me this, Bass?"

"I just want you to know," He said. "You're different. Those were just bad moments, but I would never do that to you. I know I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me..."

"Remorse doesn't suit you," she said. "But I get it."

"You're not like all those other girls."

"Is that why you barely hit on me?" she asked vulnerably. His eyes narrowed.

"Why?" he joked. "Do you like it when I hit on you?" She looked away and he stared. She took a deep breath and looked back.

"No one really compliments me, you know," she said. "Not even Nate. Not anymore."

"You take them as compliments?"

"Don't you mean them as compliments?"

"To you I do," Chuck said. "But usually I get a smack across the face for them."

Blair shrugged. "I guess I just get you."

"I guess so," he said with a smirk. "You know you're really not like the rest of them."

"So I've been told," Blair said dryly.

"You're better."

She sat up as he did, getting a good look at him. "You don't talk to me like you do other people, do you?"

"And if you tell anyone, I will be forced to take revenge on you," he warned.

"I'm okay with it," she said. She looked at approaching forms of Kati and Is. "Oh. I should go. We're sleeping over before your dad's brunch tomorrow."

"Slumber party," he said lecherously. "I assume my invite was lost in the mail."

She laughed again.

"I know you and Nate are staying at your suite tonight anyway."

Chuck shrugged. "It wouldn't have hurt you to have asked, anyway."

"I'll remember that next time."

Chuck nodded.

"So I'm going to go."

"Okay.." Chuck said strangely, their eyes never leaving each other's.

"Blair," her friends called.

"Goodnight, Chuck," Blair said, getting to her feet. "Oh, here."

She handed him back his scarf.

"Goodnight, Blair," he said, watching appreciatively as she walked away. And he _so_ did not smell the scarf that was permeated with her scent after she was out of sight.

Really.

"What was that about?" Is asked, sending a strange look in Chuck's direction who just flashed her a blasé grin.

"I don't know," Blair said softly. "I don't know."

Chuck stood up, still feeling the slight soreness in his face. Damn, Humphrey could pack a punch. But in a way, it was sort of worth it. Having Blair Waldorf ice his face was so worth it. Even when he shouldn't be thinking that way.

He took careful steps outside just in time to see Blair get in the back of one of the limos and pull away. He couldn't see through the tinted window how she looked at him. That didn't mean he couldn't feel it.

"Hey, man."

Nate's voice made Chuck's heart jump out of his chest. But when he turned to face his _best friend_, his face was composed.

"Nathaniel," Chuck greeted.

"Blair left."

"I know."

Chuck looked at Nate's face and knew he shouldn't have said that.

"Right."

"So are you ready to go?" Chuck asked. He hoped Nate didn't notice the covered anxiety in it.

"In a second."

Oh.

"Can I ask you something?" Nate asked uneasily.

"Sure."

"I know I haven't been..." Nate trailed off in thought, "_with_ Blair lately."

Chuck just nodded along. It was the safest way to go at this moment. Nate turned to face him, beer still in his hand. He was hoping some of this conversation wouldn't be remembered in the morning. He could still be a good friend in the morning.

"I just need to know," he said. "Have you slept with Blair?"

Well this was a surprise.

"Ever," he said. "It doesn't really matter if it was a drunken thing or anything, I just need to know."

"No," Chuck burst out in relief. He wasn't lying and he was glad he didn't have to manipulate the situation here. If, however, he was asked if he frequently dreamed about taking Blair's virginity, or had fantasies of groaning over her in his limo, then that would be a different story.

"Of course not."

"Oh," Nate said, his relief mirroring his best friend's. "Because I've been thinking."

Of course Nate He-Who-Broods-Alot Archibald was thinking.

"Every time I was with Blair... I was just thinking of Serena."

Well yeah, Stevie Wonder could see that, Archibald.

"And I was just thinking. If that even happened to me... If you and Blair ever got together... I wouldn't know what I'd do."

"Don't worry about it, Archibald," Chuck said, clapping his friend on the shoulder as they made their way to the limo. "Blair's hot, but I would never do that."

If he was lucky, it would be the only lie he'd have to tell that night.


	62. Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Part I

**A/N**: This was such an awesome episode that I have lots of allusions for it. So I hope you enjoy. This isn't my favorite segments, but they get better. I'm going to be going away for a few weeks and I don't know if I'll have internet so I'm putting this one out early.

**Summary**: Just the scent of the leather interior brought back memories or which she wished to forget. She remembered the way he had promised not to hurt her. She could still see the abrasions in the leather where she remembered her nails scratching into.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG.

**

* * *

**

**Holding Hands**

_You know it's not a real relationship if you can't hold hands._

It was a dilemma, she was sure. This way, it was easy for her to separate her real relationship with Nate from some fling she had with Chuck. Because something so dark and dirty couldn't be right. This was what she had to convince herself of if she was going to go with Nate again. She had to convince herself that Chuck was nothing but... whatever it was.

She wasn't too successful.

It was his past words that got her through those moments with Nate.

_Chuck and Blair holding hands?_

_Chuck and Blair going to the movies?_

Well he didn't have to be condescending about it. She was convinced that she had loved him for all of six months, after all. Because it wasn't right. It couldn't be right. Not like this. Easy was right. Easy was better.

Even if it never had the fire she wished would burn on her tongue. But those were fleeting moments. Those were things she would catch herself thinking and then turn away from his burning state. She clenched her fist, hoping he wouldn't notice how her fingers twitched for warmth.

Keeping Chuck and Nate separate was the only way she could keep her own sanity. She couldn't be thinking of birthday nights with necklaces and fingers intertwined in what could be considered a hand hold.

No, it was better this way.

That is, it should have been. It had to be better, except Blair never really had the will power she thought she was entitled to. All it took was a chance to scheme, one devil, and his infamous limo and he had swept her boyfriend right away from her. She hadn't even seen it coming. She knew how to spot schemes and manipulations, but when it came to him, she didn't have anything. Her radar came up blank and he could do as he willed with her.

It was innocent. It should have been innocent. But just the scent of the leather interior brought back memories of which she wished to forget. She remembered the way he had promised not to hurt her. She could still see the abrasions in the leather where she remembered her nails scratching into.

It was enough to drive her insane. Because he gave her one sweeping look, and it all came rushing back. She couldn't help but remember how that deep look used to resort her into a quivering mess. And now she remembered why it had been so long since they last spoke. When it came to Chuck Bass, it was hard to keep her emotions under control. He knew this too. She was just glad that he wasn't using it to his advantage. Because as far as she could remember, he had a tendency to make her forget her boyfriend.

It was hours until the limo finally pulled to stop. It was still dark and she wasn't really sure what she was doing. She knew why she was here but she was beginning to think Georgina wasn't the only reason. It was the way he was looking at her right now.

"We're here," he said unnecessarily, his voice grating with gravelly softness. He wasn't looking away. In an answer, she just met his penetrating gaze. "We should get some rest," he said, breaking their eye contact. "Visiting hours aren't until daylight."

Blair was beginning to wonder, then, why he had brought her so early. It was a pressing matter, but it could have waited until the next day. Her stomach stirred and she felt his darkness seep through. She knew not all was as it seemed, but nothing could stop her. She could feel this fast track and was doing nothing to stop it.

Typical Bass.

Blair remembered how on this very seat, how easy it was to be lulled into sleep. But back then she was exhausted with minimal clothing on and warm body heat of another. She neared him imperceptibly. She could be subtle. But Chuck was better, hiding the smirk of her shivering frame in the still slightly cold spring weather.

It was that everything came together which was what really frightened Blair. They just fell together with perfection like they always had and it really wasn't something she could take. His head was at an odd angle and his shoulder was slightly uncomfortable against her face, but it was just right.

In the dark of the night, she just couldn't find it in herself to lift her drowsy self from the haze to back away to the window like she should have. Instead, she felt warmth familiarly on her hand again, but she just didn't know where to place it.

It was a single moment. One moment with dark eyes protruding hers, she knew it was different. She knew that she had never really chosen between Chuck and Nate. Nate was helping her. She needed something safe and familiar that she could recede to safely. The only reason she wasn't with Chuck that very moment was because she was frightened of him. And that was that.

She thought that she was truly over him. But it was the moment she heard the quick rap on the tinted windows and she felt Chuck jerk beneath her touch. She opened her eyes and stared. Her scarlet painted nails were interlocked with his own massive hands and she stared. It was only for a moment but she knew that was the moment when she wasn't in control of anything anymore.

She wrenched her hand away as Chuck sleepily rubbed at his eyes like nothing had happened. And it occurred to her. He knew. He had known all along. He was just lying in wait. He would wait until she got over this Nate phase. He wouldn't have to interfere because she would break it off herself.

She couldn't separate them anymore. Chuck wasn't shying away from her. He was gladly interlocking his hands with hers and she knew Nate was a phase. She couldn't control it and that was what scared her most of all. But what scared her even more was that Chuck was something that was just coming for her. He was barreling towards her at speeds she couldn't comprehend and there was nothing she could do to stop it. And she didn't want to stop it. Chuck was inevitable. Chuck was destiny.

**Crashing**

_It's a shame you don't have a place in the middle like my room at The Palace. Say the word and she can crash with me._

When he had happened upon her, she was shaking. He was used to such displays by now. He remembered how he found it strange that he would take care of his best friend's girl. He was just glad he hadn't found her in the alley behind _Visconti's_ vomiting into a dumpster this time.

It wasn't easy to be around her when she was like this. It wasn't easy to be around her when Nate was neglecting her and she was feeling especially needy, let alone highly inebriated and... vulnerable.

Blinking those thoughts out of his mind, he took her roughly by the arm.

"Ow," she snapped as harshly as she could without slurring from her intoxication. "Watch the vintage, John Cena."

"How the hell do you know who John Cena is?" Chuck muttered to himself, dragging her along. She really did need to get back to her hobby of destroying underclassmen. "And that's not even in the right context."

"Like you know any more about wrestling than I do," Blair snorted in a very unladylike fashion as she was pushed into the elevator.

"That depends on what kind of wrestling."

He had an opening. He couldn't resist. He did however, look over in shock as she started laughing uncontrollably.

"You know," she said, stumbling out of the elevator as they reached the 18th floor. "You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit."

Chuck just followed slowly, not replying, making sure she didn't trip over her disastrously high heels. He was at least pleased that she was coherent enough to read the numbers on his door. She leaned against it, turning around so she could look at his face. He just looked at her, forgetting the key imprinting itself on his palm.

"What?" she laughed lightly.

"You're in the way," Chuck covered.

"Well, sorry," Blair rolled her eyes, "but you're the one who is dragging me into your den in inequity and I'm pretty sure that if I move, I'll fall."

"Are you saying you don't want to be dragged into my den?" he asked. Instead of answering, she just leaned forward, clinging to his neck as he unlocked the door. He closed it behind them, expecting Blair to lose her death grip and stumble onto the couch like she usually did. He could usually sober her up until he could get her home without death glares from her Polish maid.

She didn't.

Her face was buried in the crook of his neck and it didn't feel as though she was going to let go any time soon.

"Chuck," she murmured into his chest.

It wasn't so bad.

"Yeah," he said shortly, his breath seemingly having just left his body. She pulled away to look into his eyes.

"I think I'm drunk," she said with all seriousness before bursting into another fit of laughter.

"Yeah," he said, smoothing down her mussed her. "I think you are too."

"Well you're the expert," Blair sighed, pulling away from him before stumbling slightly.

"Hey," he said, pulling her to her feet.

"Hey," she said, mimicking his deep voice. He really wished he didn't find her so endearing in this state. It wasn't a good sign.

"Those heels look pretty lethal," he mused, watching her try to walk on her own. But instead of heading towards his couch, she fumbled her way to his bed. "You could get scoliosis."

"Mother says fashion knows not of comfort-" Blair recited.

"Yeah, yeah," Chuck said, kneeling at her feet by her sitting position on his bed. "I know what she says. Even if it is true." He began fumbling with the straps on her heels, being well versed with how to take women's shoes off... along with other items of clothing.

"They make me pretty," Blair said distantly.

Chuck shrugged, still working. "You don't need them."

"Chuck," she said softly as he slid of her second shoe. He finally looked up at her. "Do you... Do you think I'm pretty?"

Chuck sat back, unsure of what to do next. She was so inconsistent and everyone abandoning her wasn't helping. He was the only one left and he was in a very precarious situation.

"Yeah," she murmured to herself. "Neither does Nate. I can tell."

"Blair..." Chuck said. "I think you're beautiful." Her hand found its way to his shoulder.

"That's really sweet."

He wasn't really sure of what to do next. There was no precedence for this, besides the times she had gotten drunk. And now, kneeling practically in between her knees was not where he was supposed to be.

"Even if I don't believe you."

"Why not?" Chuck asked indignantly, getting up so he could sit beside her on his bed.

"Because," she laughed bitterly, "you would hit on me like you do all the other girls. I know it's meant to be a compliment. But you just don't. Not with me."

"It means that I don't respect them."

"You respect me?" Blair asked doubtfully.

"Always."

"Respect isn't always the greatest thing," she said, more to herself. "Nate won't even touch me."

"Nate has brain damage," Chuck muttered.

Blair laughed. "I know. But he's sweet... well he used to be. And it makes my mother happy."

"What about what makes you happy?" Chuck questioned. She looked at him quizzically.

"I don't understand."

"Don't you ever just want to do what you want? Not care about the expectations?"

"You care about expectations, Chuck," Blair reminded him.

"Sure," Chuck shrugged. "In front of people that matter. In front of my father. But I also do what I want to do."

"Tell me you wouldn't," Blair said. "Tell me if your father told you he wanted you to date some nice, perfect girl you wouldn't do it."

"He has," Chuck said. "But I guess I'm too much of a disappointment to do it anyway. And besides, the perfect girl is already taken."

She cocked her head to the side in confusion. He didn't look away. He just looked into her eyes.

"The rest just aren't worth it."

He thought he saw for in her eyes a moment of clarity. But she blinked and lay back and he couldn't see it anymore.

"Chuck."

He liked how she said his name. It wasn't like a curse but something soothing. He never had that experience before.

"Why do you take care of me?"

"Because of Nate," Chuck said instinctively, knowing that wasn't all of it. But he just didn't know what the rest was yet.

"So..." she said. "If I wasn't with Nate, you would have just left me poison myself with alcohol down at Gilt."

"No..." he said. "I still would have brought you up here. But if you weren't with Nate, I would have taken you for myself by now."

She looked up at him again without even a sign of disgust.

"Thank you."

He wasn't really sure if she was thanking him for taking care of her or saying what she took as a compliment.

"Anytime, Waldorf," he said, not addressing which. "Just... get some rest and I'll take you home in the morning."

He started rising, about to do the gentlemanly thing and take the couch. Then he felt her gentle fingers around his wrist, pulling him back.

"Will you stay with me?" she asked quietly. "Just for a little while."

"Whatever you need," Chuck said without thinking, leaning back across his bed, next to her. If that struck her as odd, she didn't show it.

It was then as he comfortingly lay his hand on her arm as she breathed evenly that he knew he actually would give her anything she needed. He would give her what she wanted when she wanted it and wouldn't ask questions.

All he would ask was if she was sure.

Yes, it was definitely dangerous that she crashed in his room at The Palace. With him. Always with him.


	63. Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Pt II

**A/N**: Alert: For the last segment, I did aboslutely no reasearch about STD tests or symptoms and made the whole things up. So no reviews about how unrealistic it is. I actually considered deleting the last vignette so tell me if I made the right decision.

**Summary**: "You should have left him sooner," Chuck said honestly. "Look at what he's done to you. Suffocated you, demeaned you. You are so perfect. And he made you feel like you were never enough for him."

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG

* * *

**True**

_I know he'll always be true to me. _

_I hope so, B, because no offense, but we both know that hasn't always been the case._

She refused to cry. It wasn't even that big of a deal, was it? At least, that was what Chuck used to try to convince her of. She should have known his true loyalty lay with someone who could never really return her affections. Someone whose affections remained solely to a leggy blonde who called herself Blair's best friend.

This still didn't stop Blair from bursting in on Chuck Bass. In any other situation, Chuck would have been furious for someone bursting in on his private activities but the way Blair looked like she was about to yank the girl out of his room by her (fake) red hair was truly a sight to behold. So Chuck let her.

"Waldorf," Chuck said easily, leaning back on his mussed bed in his slight state of undress. "To what do I owe this-"

"It's an emergency," Blair said quickly, slamming the door behind the annoyed slut.

"So it would seem," Chuck sighed. "The emergency was you just had to come and see me in my vulnerable state."

"Do you have to make everything about you?" Blair cried out. Chuck sat up slowly, noting how she turned her back to him to hide the tears that he knew all too well were threatening to spill over.

"Blair..." Chuck said with genuine concern.

"Is it just so much to ask that I be looked at for once?" she asked, letting Chuck turn her around. "I just can't stand feeling this way."

"Feeling this way..." Chuck prodded.

She finally looked him in the eye. "Like nothing."

It was strange for him. In moments like these, he wondered if there was more for him. What if the world had fallen apart? He knew that he would be right where he was. He couldn't comfort and he couldn't feel like others could, but for some strange reason, he understood her. And that was the only reason he let himself sit beside her. Maybe the truth was that she would be the end of him. But maybe the truth was that it didn't matter.

"I'll be brief," Blair said coldly and Chuck sat still. "I just need to know. That's it."

He knew her question and she had to know the answer. It was the only way.

"You saw him with her."

"Just tell me the truth," Blair demanded. "You know. I know you do. Is he in love with her?"

Chuck made his eyes grow cold because it was the only way.

"My loyalties belong to Nathaniel," he said, though he wished it was the farthest from the truth.

"And you would do nothing to implicate him," Blair sneered. "That's not what I'm asking."

"Well that's the answer you're going to get," Chuck said in annoyance, leaning back against the couch.

"Your plan has a flaw," she warned him.

"Oh?"

"You've already implicated him."

"My loyalties belong to Nathaniel," Chuck repeated steadily.

"Yes," Blair replied. "But then again, Nate's never let himself cry in front of you."

That was a blow he wasn't expecting. He hadn't even realized how Blair was taking her leave, already half way to the door.

"Waldorf," he said, pursuing her quietly, confounded how easy it was. She stopped but didn't turn to him. "Why do you stay?"

"What?" she asked, turning so he could see the slight glint of sorrow in her eyes.

"If you know," Chuck said, trying for the first time in his life to be tactful, "if you know what he does... why do you stay?"

"Where else would I go?" Blair sighed. "There's nothing else left for me."

But as the door closed silently behind her, he couldn't help but think the truth was, there very well could be something left for her.

**Big Deal**

_We ran into each other on the street. It was no big deal._

_With you two, it's always a big deal._

Nate was with Vanessa.

It was that simple.

_Nate was with Vanessa._

So why was he standing here at the Van der Woodsen-Bass wedding and looking at someone that wasn't her? Why was he coming at the end of some (obviously articulate) speech that Chuck had concocted (obviously on the spot) and not able to keep his eyes of her? It wasn't Vanessa that he was referencing because he had told her he was leaving. But he wasn't doing that. Instead, he was staring at his harpy of an ex-girlfriend.

He wasn't leaving for the pure fact that he couldn't figure it out. He couldn't figure if he had ever seen her look so... pure before. She was looking into deep and slanting eyes and he knew. Nate knew that he had never seen Blair look at him that way before. He thought maybe she had, but he knew it was just the facade. This was Blair. This was the Blair that Chuck saw. This was the Blair that Chuck betrayed him for. This was the Blair that Chuck loved.

He couldn't stand to look at the disgusting display any longer. It wasn't like he still wanted her. It was just a strange experience watching his best friend of... well, _forever_ staring at Blair with what could be constituted only as _love_. Chuck had told Nate as much not an hour ago but it was much different seeing it with his own eyes.

Thinking back, Nate had wondered if it had always been like this. At the beginning, he was sure Blair was just sport to Chuck. That made sense. He had forgotten all together that Chuck wasn't just his friend, but Blair's as well. And that threw him for a loop.

This brought him to all those times that maybe they could have been together. Maybe before Cotillion wasn't just it. Maybe they were having secret rendezvous for years.

But that wasn't right. He knew the girl he went out with and no matter what he had done, she would never cheat on the person she was supposedly committed to. And now, that included Chuck, to Nate's confusion. It was exclusive to Chuck.

It was the images of her being happy that seemed to make him disgusted. He didn't want her to be unhappy, he just didn't know that she had it in her to be so happy. And it was all do to Chuck.

"To the happy couple," Chuck toasted. Nate distantly registered Blair raising her own flute of champagne and his impending nausea. He had arrogantly thought that he was the best thing that had ever happened to Blair. Truthfully, he thought they would have been married. But without him realizing it, Chuck had swept her away and there was nothing else he could do about it. He didn't know that the time she spent in the back of limos with Chuck was the happiest ever and that was dizzying. Chuck made someone happy and now she belonged to him.

It still didn't make any sense to him but then again, did anything ever?

"Nice speech."

Chuck looked up from his lean against a column. He wasn't really looking at him as he waited for his father and his new stepmother to start the first dance. Nate knew what_(who?) _his best friend was staring at but ignored it all together.

"I thought you split," Chuck said coolly. It was his indifference that Nate was realizing made him blind to the exploits that happened right in front of him. Chuck was just really good at the facade. And so was Blair.

Dizzying.

"I stuck around for a little while," Nate replied. "I had to see your speech."

"Oh yeah," Chuck said. "The one that my father almost murdered me for winging."

"Some people appreciated it," Nate said, trying to be subtle.

It never really worked.

"It's no big deal," Chuck said slowly, as thought trying out how it sounded. It wasn't a lie but Chuck wasn't sure if it was the truth either.

"Does Blair think so?" Nate asked. He was done being coy. Actually, he never really started.

"Listen," Chuck said steadily, stretching out his pose, "I know what I told you but it's not like that. I didn't mean it like it sounded."

Nate studied Chuck for a moment. _I was in love with Blair_ really seemed like it only had one connotation to him. Then again, he supposed he wasn't as astute as the likes of Chuck and Blair.

"It could be," Nate prodded instead. He wasn't sure why he was encouraging this but he knew that somehow, Chuck just made Blair happy. He was sure that it had something to do with how similar they were. And he knew that Blair made Chuck happy right back. Something made Chuck happy, if such a thing could ever happen. Otherwise, he knew his dark best friend never would have betrayed him. Not for just some girl anyway.

"Well it's not," Chuck said, looking at his shoes. Nate followed his gaze. Those looked expensive. "She doesn't want it to be."

"You don't know that."

"She'll walk over here for a dance before she admits anything," Chuck said dryly. "It was just a speech."

Nate narrowed his blue eyes. Their similarities were really making themselves obvious now. They both even had the insecurities of no one wanting them and that was strange. Chuck was the most confident and arrogant person Nate had ever met. Like Blair was the most conceited and self centered person yet she seemed to obtain the same amount of insecurity. Like him. Then again, it was becoming clearer that it wasn't just any one woman that made Chuck insecure. It was only Blair. It was always only Blair.

"It's no big deal," Chuck said more to himself, like he was trying to convince himself he believed it.

"Sure, man," Nate said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Well I actually should get going."

"If you insist," Chuck said distantly, looking over his shoulder. Nate looked behind him and saw her. Pretty in pink, Blair was hovering by a table, her eyes locked with Chuck's. She was waiting for Nate to leave but even Chuck didn't really notice him anymore.

"If _you_ insist," Nate muttered under his breath. Chuck heard. He always heard.

"Well," he said, that self assured smirk pulling at his lips, though never looking away from that girl, "it was something. I was inspired in the moment."

Nate knew that Chuck wasn't really talking to him anymore but more reciting what he was going to say when Blair really did walk over. Nate didn't bother with a "see you" as he walked off and Blair took his place as the music of the first dance started to be struck up.

He only hesitated at the doorway to watch the inevitable scene unfold. In a matter of minutes, the two were making out wildly on the dance floor before Nate walked off.

Yeah, no big deal.

That was the last time he would ever fall for that line.

**STD Panel**

_However your life sucks right now, you didn't need an STD panel this week._

In the morning she vomited. This wasn't an odd occurrence, to be frank. However this time, her fingers weren't shoved down her own throat. This time she vomited and she knew something was wrong.

"B?"

Blair quickly wiped her mouth at the sink and turned to face her best friend.

"Are you ready to go?" Serena asked uncertainly.

"Yes," Blair said shakily, clearing her throat.

"Are you alright?"

_Her throat_.

"Yes," Blair said strongly. Luckily she couldn't see her telltale signs of lying.

Blair knew she was prone to overreacting. It was something she was introduced to at a young age but it was the only way she kept in control.

Until today.

Walking up to Constance was one of the most nerve wracking thing she had done in her life for one reason. Her strides were steady until her heel caught on a crack in the sidewalk. Serena caught her by the shoulders, halting her from losing her balance.

"Are you alright?"

She considered actually telling her the truth now as she felt him look up from some skank he was talking to. In a split second decision she knew that she had just lost her power. She had trusted him so explicitly and now she didn't know what to do.

"I actually don't feel so well," Blair replied, holding her throat while wildly trying not to look at eyes that were burning into the side of her head. "I think I'm going to go home."

"Blair," Serena said. "If you're... sick, you know I-"

"I'm not," Blair snapped. "Just get my assignments for me."

"What was that about?"

Serena looked over at Chuck's drawl. He had rid himself of the girl and was looking at her quizzically.

"Well I don't know, Chuck," Serena snapped sarcastically. "Maybe it has something to do with the girl you were practically having sex with."

"Please," Chuck rolled his eyes. "Don't be so melodramatic. Besides, she wouldn't just let that lie anyway. She would have done something about it."

"Well you took care of that, didn't you?"

"Meaning..." Chuck prompted.

"You know my feelings about this whole thing..."

"Yes, you're very disappointed," Chuck rolled his eyes. "Listen, I get enough looks from your judgmental street trash, I don't need you-"

"Telling you the truth?"

"And what about Blair?" he asked. "Has she told you the truth about me?"

"And what does that mean?"

"You don't really know how she feels," Chuck mused. "You never have."

His theorizing was interrupted as all of their phones started vibrating. Chuck sighed as he looked at the snarky comment spilling out in text. Serena looked up at Chuck in horror as his eyes were fixed on the screen of his phone. She immediately hit him across the head.

"How could you?"

"That's impossible," Chuck said, not looking away.

"Think again."

"It's impossible," he stressed again.

"Obviously not," Serena snapped.

"No, _S_," he sneered, "it's _impossible_. I know what I'm doing."

"And for I once I'm siding with you," Serena replied. "But that was before Blair. You can't deny that."

Needless to say, he wasn't about to go attending class after that.

* * *

Blair would never be caught dead in one of these places. Unfortunately for her, Gossip Girl had snapped a picture and she definitely wasn't dead. Which mean she shouldn't have been surprised when she saw a limo idling outside. That didn't mean she was going to acknowledge it.

"Name?" the receptionist asked.

"Blair Waldorf," Blair said shakily. That limo was not leaving.

"Excuse me, Miss Waldorf?"

Blair snapped her eyes from the window.

"Yes."

"They're ready for you now."

Blair wasn't about to thank anyone for being led into a free clinic for an STD test.

"So Miss Waldorf," the doctor said as Blair took a seat. "What is the problem today?"

"I was just wondering I if could get an STD test," Blair said awkwardly. She had definitely never done anything like this today. Besides, of course, becoming involved with some vitiating debaucher.

"I see," the doctor said, surveying her strangely. "You do know how many different test we could perform. You could begin with the reasons you suspect infection."

"Well," Blair said uneasily, "I vomited this morning."

"Is that all?" he asked skeptically. She narrowed her eyes. Just because she was some prissy rich princess they thought she wasn't smart.

"I heard you could get gonorrhea of the throat," Blair said dryly.

"All this because of some food poisoning?"

She did not like this doctor's attitude. She knew she shouldn't have gone to a free clinic just because she didn't want to get caught. Which she knew already failed. She decided Gossip Girl was the plague on her life. Even more than the person who was _still_ idling in his limo outside. She just knew it.

"I don't vomit every morning you know."

"I assume you've had sexual encounters," he said condescendingly.

"Obviously," Blair sneered, "otherwise I wouldn't be here."

"So there's a reason you assume you have gonorrhea of the throat."

"Well I'm not pregnant," Blair snapped. He was still looking at her. "You think I'm pregnant, don't you?"

"Nausea is a symptom of pregnancy," he said.

"Well I'm not," she said icily. "I was- We were careful."

"Not so careful that you got gonorrhea of the throat."

"I thought you said I didn't," Blair said.

"I can give you a pregnancy test," the doctor relented.

"But I'm not pregnant," Blair said desperately. "We used a condom."

"But you didn't for everything," the doctor hinted. Blair looked down at her lap. She took a breath, knowing he was just on the other side of that door.

"I just want to make sure he wasn't lying to me," she said steadily.

"Lying?" the doctor prodded.

"When he said he wasn't with anyone else."

"So this isn't really about..."

"Just give me the damn test," Blair snapped.

* * *

Blair decided as she walked out of the office, that relief was not overrated. But that quickly dissipated when she saw him waiting for her. His distinguished brow was knit and she could tell by the way his jaw was set that he was angry.

With all the dignity she could muster, Blair raised her chin, attempting to walk right past him. He never made anything easy.

"I'm surprised you didn't call me for a ride," he said, stopping her in her tracks. She turned slowly to face him. "Or maybe you could have just taken a cab after all that anesthesia."

"Do you really like taking great pleasure in making me hate you?" Blair asked darkly, taking steps towards him.

"You hate me?" Chuck sneered. "I get a text from Gossip Girl saying that you're at a free clinic. What am I supposed to think?"

"I don't know," Blair said, "how about the reasons that I had to come here in the first place?"

"I'm careful," Chuck said tersely.

"Right," Blair replied. "It's about you."

"Now it seems like it's going to be about three of us," Chuck snapped.

"Please," Blair rolled her eyes. "I never thought I was pregnant. You're not the only one who knows to take precautions."

"So that's the reason you were here?"

"No," Blair said shortly. "I was here for an STD panel." Chuck stared at her.

"Two-timing me?" he asked snidely.

"I should ask you the same question," she burst out what she had bottled within her.

"What?" he asked in genuine confusion.

"Well there had to be a reason I was vomiting this morning? Because I have intuition that tells me there's more than one skank who's just lining up for you and you know it."

"What did I tell you?" Chuck asked, he hand snatching out to grasp her wrist. These actions used to scare her. He could be so indifferent and turn into so passionate that she hated how she still wanted him. "I haven't been with anyone else, per your request, I might add. The only reason that you would be here was because you weren't careful with someone else."

"It was negative," Blair snapped.

"Congratulations," Chuck said cruelly.

"Do you really believe that I would be with anyone else?" Blair practically growled. "I could never."

"You did with Nate."

"Nate wasn't you."

Chuck's face dropped and Blair realized what she had just said. She tried to pull away but he just gripped tighter.

"What was that?"

"Nate and I weren't even together when we happened."

"You know that's not what I meant," Chuck shook his head.

"Well there's a reason I was throwing my guts up in the sink this morning," Blair said, still trying to extricate herself.

"And that would have nothing to do with how you ditched me last night to have sushi with Serena."

Damn that doctor. Her eyes narrowed.

"Yeah," he said condescendingly.

"Shut up," Blair said uncomfortably. His hand relaxed slightly, but still held fast, drawing lazy circles around her wrist. She hated that smirk. She especially hated it when it was kissing her like he looked like he wanted to do about now.

"Why would you think I would be with anyone else?" he asked softly. She hated him like this. No one saw the Chuck Bass that he was when they were alone. She hated how she needed him.

"Because you're Chuck Bass," she taunted him. "It was only a matter of time before I wouldn't be enough."

"He sure has done a number on you," Chuck whispered.

"What?" Blair asked in confusion.

"You should have left him sooner," Chuck said honestly. "Look at what he's done to you. Suffocated you, demeaned you. You are so perfect. And he made you feel like you were never enough for him."

"I don't want to talk about this," Blair said, not liking when he talked to her like this. It made her think that he could really handle having a relationship. And that scared her more than anything.

"You will always be enough for me," he said and she let him pull her into him. "Always be more than enough."

"You don't have to-"

Chuck cut her off with a kiss.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you," Blair said quietly. He looked at her strangely. "What?"

"Why are you with me?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Why did you start this with me?" he asked again. "Tell me it was spur of the moment."

"Why?" Blair asked.

"Because it's true," he said steadily. "Isn't it?"

"It's because I trusted you," she said. "More than anyone else."

"Why?"

"Because you always told me the truth," she said. "Even when Nate was... elsewhere. You were there for me even though he was your best friend."

"So this is a friends with benefits thing," he mused.

"No," Blair said, looking at the ground. "That wasn't it."

"Then tell me," he said to her ear.

"Tell you what?" Blair asked. He smirked.

"You know what. That first night in the limo wasn't the first time it ever occurred to you. Was it?"

"What do you want to know?" Blair asked.

"It wasn't the first time it occurred to me, either," he confessed.

"I know," she breathed. He grinned with triumph and molded his body to hers. "I wanted you before, too."

"I know," he smirked. Pulling her towards his limo. It was just the first time she could admit it to herself. Or even him, for that matter.


	64. Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Pt III

**A/N**: So I forgot ho many vignettes I wrote for this episode so its a little out of its pattern.

**Summary**: "Say it and you will find yourself having the inability to procreate," she practically snarled. There was his girl. She had the reaction he wanted and he was sure she wanted him back now.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes and pretty much everything else belongs to GG. Poem is quoted below by Chuck and Blair because they are just that cool. I don't know the name, but its not mine either.

* * *

**_Butter_**

_Gabriel said he met Serena the night before the SAT's. He said they were at _Butter_._

_No, that's impossible._

_I know._

It was supposed to be simple. Get in, get out, get the stupid bartender. She should have known he wouldn't make it that way. Manipulating the bartender was easy. There was just something about sabotage that she had a gift for. What she didn't have a gift for was spotting lecherous bastards who lurked in corners.

It was the way he smirked at her in admiration. He wasn't supposed to have that look on his face. He was supposed to be glowering at her with "I don't want you anymore" and "now you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own." It was just the end of that speech that made her die alone night after night in the bed the still smelled vaguely of scotch and the natural musk of a man she would never forget. Never could.

Instead, his arms were crossed across his (broad) chest and she wondered how she hadn't realized he was inside of _Butter _when she had accosted the bartender on duty. Apparently there was only one because they were closing down the whole restaurant. But he was still in there and she knew it was the denial of the feelings that she tried to convince herself weren't there anymore that fooled her into thinking she was alone.

Well, not alone.

"Is," Blair spoke softly. "I'll meet you outside."

Isabel didn't need telling twice. It wasn't because this had happened before it was just that when it had happened before and they had mentioned the dirty deeds conceived in the back of limos, Blair was coming back with a vengeance and there was nothing like a rising queen on the high of revenge to really frighten you.

Chuck remembered.

It was such a turn-on.

"For me?" Chuck asked, sauntering towards her as the bartender made himself scarce outside where Is would undoubtedly be making her next victim. "You shouldn't have."

Blair gazed at him coolly.

That made him slightly uncomfortable. The last he remembered, she was broken and screaming silent in her prism of anguish. Now she was just staring at him like he was the dirt beneath her Monolas.

That was also a turn-on.

This was how things used to be. She would sneer at him and he would wonder why she was the only woman in the world who was immune to his charms. He liked it and she was making him remember how much he liked it. And how he missed her.

He hadn't wanted to miss her but her regaining her throne was exactly something he wanted to see and he was glad it was happening. He was no longer above her and looking down at the double-standard that was really hypocrisy. Now this was the Blair he knew. The Blair he loved.

He was sure of it now. He remembered the time where remorse hit him like a train and he couldn't figure what it was, much like the nausea that was dubbed butterflies by this goddess-on-earth. He only let himself admit it into the darkness with the accompaniment of Scotch. Now he could admit it to the deepest corners of his mind. Who knew how long it would be until he could truly admit it out loud?

But she was still staring at him in that way and he just wanted to hear her charming voice already. That's what he came for, anyway. He had been fantasizing about it and he knew only the most disturbed of people got aroused by thinking about what bitchy teen queens said to bartenders to make them close down _Butter_. He was sick. But so was she and he knew that's what made them fit so perfectly. Even if the way she was looking at him made him understand she wasn't about to admit it. To him, at least.

"What are you doing here, Bass?" she finally broke the silence with her cruel but soft voice. "You should have been thrown out with the rest of them."

"Does that impress you?" he asked with almost vague hopefulness.

"Hardly," she said with only a hint of a smile.

"And here I thought we were having a civilized conversation," he sighed.

"We were never civilized."

"You always speak the truth."

Blair decided she had enough of this conversation. She wanted out and she wanted to get to destruction. And that didn't involve the slanting eyes that seemed to follow her everywhere she went now.

"How's this for truth?" she asked. "I thought I made it perfectly clear I never wanted to see your despicable face again."

"You know I just love it when you talk dirty," he reminded her. "That isn't helping you bar my advances. And if I can recollect correctly, it was me who called you-"

"Say it and you will find yourself having the inability to procreate," she practically snarled. There was his girl. She had the reaction he wanted and he was sure she wanted him back now. If she didn't, she wouldn't have even cared what he had called her last winter.

"Good, in any case," he drawled. "That won't be a problem because I could only ever want to procreate with you."

He watched with relish as her lip curled up in disdain. This girl was the only girl for him.

"As much as I love catching you in the falsities you continue to believe you can fool me with," Blair said airily, "I've got miles to go."

She thought he had forgotten, but he hadn't.

"Did you hear me, Butterfly?" he quoted with soft nostalgia. "Miles to go before I sleep."

Her jaw clenched and her eyes flared with anger as he passed her little test of quoting a poem. But he knew it was really anger at herself for trying to convince herself that he still didn't care for her. Maybe when he was trying to convince himself of the same thing, but that was long gone. She had picked herself up and he had always known she would bounce right back. she just had to find that out for herself.

"Goodbye, Charles."

She knew that used to vex him since it was only ever what his father called him. But now that he knew she was going to such lengths to antagonize him, he knew this was far from over.

"It's alright, Blair," he said, leaning to block her path. "I can wait."

"For what?" she asked skeptically. "Because I can promise you'll be waiting a long time."

"No matter," he said. "It won't be that long before you triumph, anyway. This I know with certainty."

"You think that I'm just desperate to please you?" she laughed cruelly. "Please. I am doing this to watch the privileged bitches grovel before me."

"And I don't fall into that category?" he teased. He then shrugged. "Then tell me you wouldn't love to watch me in awe of your power when you rise to the top again. Tell me you wouldn't love to impress me."

"I'll tell you what, Bass," she said. "I would love to watch you burn in a sea of my discontent. Happy?"

"Immensely," he grinned. "Because you referenced me and love in the same sentence. It's progress."

She pushed passed him, cursing herself for letting him get to her again.

"Goodbye," she snapped, unable to think of something else to say.

"Not for long," he taunted, but sure she hadn't heard after the door slammed.

He was wrong.

**Excuses**

_Just face it, you two. You're just using this as an excuse to get together again._

Inviting him up was a mistake. She knew it was as soon as she had done it. But she did it anyway. And judging from that infuriating smirk, she knew he was aware of it too. Plotting against Georgina was just an excuse. But he ended up in her bed and she chastised herself for hoping it would turn out with him touching her again. Even though it didn't, the following day did pan out as she chastised herself for hoping.

Scheming with him was a mistake. She knew it was soon as she had done it. But she did it anyway. And judging from that seeming chaste kiss on her cheek, he was very aware of what was to come as much as she did. Vanessa was just an excuse. She pretended offering herself up as collateral for his services was a sacrifice on her part. It was the only way she could get him to come to her. She wanted him so badly but admitting defeat would be admitting defeat. And that wasn't what they did. That wasn't what she did.

Just like right now. Right now, she had to choose between her white knight or her dark prince. Really, she didn't have to think twice about it. But she had to make Nate think that she was really struggling over this. She knew Nate was fleeting. She could feel it in her gut. He was just something familiar that she could keep close to home until the time came when she didn't need to feel safe anymore.

Logically, she could estimate the exact time when this would occur. It was Yale that was making her nervous, or lack thereof. And as soon as that threat had dissipated, she wouldn't need him anymore. As soon as high school and monarch politics were over, she wouldn't need him anymore.

She could return to where her soul burned and who it called for. She could be excited and dirty again and let the sweet sickness of Chuck Fever burn her through again. And when Serena said it, she knew it was so obvious that everyone saw it.

She knew he saw it.

She was backed into a corner and it wasn't figurative like all the other times. The only times she was backed into literal corners was when it was with him, and this was no different in the corner of some cocktail co-op party.

"You sure?" he asked as Nate retreated with the dignity he had left. She swallowed, trying to ignore how those two little words meant as much if not more than the three ones she had burst out and he had choked on. Repeatedly.

"I need to help my best friend," she said, willing her voice not to shake. "So tell Serena that Gabriel's lying to her and get it done."

"That's not what I meant."

She knew what he meant. She just wished that he didn't. He looked down to the ground but she felt him and his close proximity in this little corner. It was too much. He was too much. She could feel the clock ticking and knew it was only a matter of weeks before everything resorted in inevitability. She just had to survive him until then.

"Then say it, Chuck," she said in exasperation. "Say it out loud."

He smirked. "You can read my mind better than anyone."

"Say it."

"Jump," he said softly, "and you will see how far down the rabbit hole goes."

"I've been down that hole before," she reminded him.

"It's a familiar path," he agreed. "But are you ready for it?"

"Why don't you tell me in literal terms what you want from me?"

"Nothing," he said. Then his eyes glinted. "Nothing I haven't already seen, anyway."

He was being cryptic and evasive again and she didn't like it.

"I'm going to get Serena," she said. Now she was being evasive. She wasn't ready for the truth any more than he was. "Go wait in her room."

"Your wish is my command," he said comfortably.

"It's all happening," she whispered as he pulled away. He didn't give any sign that he heard her, but she knew that he had.

"Blair," he said decisively, nearing her again. "Do you like being in this dark corner with me?"

"Ugh," Blair rolled her eyes, pressing her hands against his chest.

"You don't have to worry about me," he promised. "I was just wondering if familiarity was the flavor of the day."

She should have known.

If even Serena could see what was happening again, maybe she should too.

They were all excuses.

But maybe if she made enough, it would lead her back to where she belonged for good.


	65. Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Pt IV

**A/N**: Last chapter and then 2x23. We're getting there. Like my Dorota POV before, I sort have a servant POV at the end. Hope you like.

**Summary**: "As soon as those tinted windows close behind you, you can do whatever you want without being judged. You know that I never judge you. It's only natural that you can't refuse."

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG. The closing sentences of this chapter aren't necessarily allusions, but I couldn't resist putting them in.

* * *

**Shattered Windows**

_Georgina and I go way back. We have a special bond._

Blair stared at the text. She blinked furiously a couple of times, knowing that Nate wouldn't even notice. She hated him. That stupid lecherous bastard was interrupting her time with Nate and she wanted to kill him. That being said, she knew if she didn't, a certain someone else was about to do the same. And as much as she hated Chuck Bass at the moment, she hated that certain someone else a hell of a lot more.

"I have to go," Blair said, snapping her phone shut. Nate's dull eyes told her with how much herbal care that it wouldn't have even mattered.

Her heels clicked on the sidewalk quickly as she rushed to Bart's newest hotel. The concierge looked up.

"Is he still up there?" Blair asked breathlessly.

"Miss Waldorf," he greeted all too familiarly. This wasn't the first time this happened. He dropped the formal act and nodded. "He can't be coming down any time soon. But I'm assuming that's the reason you're here."

"Just give me the key," Blair said impatiently, holding out her hand. The concierge pulled it out but hesitated.

"I don't know if you want go up there."

"Who else is going to save the bastard?" Blair sighed. He hid a smile. Out of all of the girls his boss's son had hanging around, he could see why she was the one who stayed. He dropped the key softly into her hand.

"You can keep it," the concierge said. "I have a feeling this won't be the last time she'll come around."

"And who was the genius who let her in?" Blair snapped.

"I wasn't on duty at that time," he replied. "She surprised Mr. Bass when he went into his suite."

"And no one decided to call security?"

"He opted not to," the concierge said, trying to hide a smile again. "He said he was taking care of it."

"And by that he means me," Blair said acidly.

"As usual," he said. Blair didn't even spare him a look as she threw herself into the elevator that was moving too slow for her taste. Startled patrons moved aside as she burst across the floor of the hotel. Before she could even think of unlocking the door, she pulled out her phone just to reread the text. She didn't want to happen upon something she would regret.

**911. she's back. i need u**

She snapped her phone closed as she heard the distinctive sound of glass shattering. She supposed that could just be Chuck falling into something in a spectacularly passionate embrace, but his text told her differently. Even to a bystander it would look like a sext, but that was just Chuck. He would tell her things like that in front of her new _boyfriend_. Even if it was his best friend. But she knew he really needed her help. She knew because of the harlot that was inside of that room with him. He definitely couldn't handle this on his own. He always got in over his head. And she always had to bail him out.

And she hated it. When she started dating Nate, Chuck was just a presence that she couldn't shake. She had gotten so used to it by now she would just bust into his room at all hours. What she hated was this. And the shouting and constant crashing told her everything. She was back and Blair had to save the stupid Chuck Bass-tard she seemed to be growing too attached to. Time was, she wouldn't have cared if the bitch had torn him limb from limb. Now, she just wanted to tear _her_ limb from limb.

She inserted the key and threw the door open. There were many things she had walked in on Chuck doing, but she actually was surprised this time. Even for Georgina Sparks, she hadn't expected the travesty she saw unfold before her eyes.

Blair closed the door calmly behind her, crossing arms over her chest.

"Well isn't this interesting."

Chuck spun to meet her eyes, relief flooding through them. She hid her smirk, loving how she could have control over him. Georgina froze, a chair raised in her hands. Blair scrutinized the floor littered with glass.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you, Snow White," Georgina snapped.

"Well now that you mention it..." Chuck drawled.

"Shut up," Georgina yelled.

It happened before any of them could react. Luckily Chuck had good intuition and ducked just in case. The chair flew through the window, completely shattering it.

"And this is the reason you haven't called security?" Blair sighed.

"And you're helping?" Chuck replied sharply.

"That's the reason you texted me, isn't it?" Blair smirked. "Because you need me?"

"What?" Georgina snapped.

"Oh, G," Blair sighed, taking careful steps across the shattered vase in her high heels. "I thought you knew."

Georgina narrowed her icy eyes.

"I mean, you've been chasing him for like a year, what do you expect? You're a psycho bitch. Face it. He doesn't want you."

She could feel Chuck's eyes burning into her but she had already done this. Georgina was still staring as well.

"What do you want from him? You stalk him, break into his suite, destroy his belongings in an attempt to molest him and he _still_ doesn't want you?" Blair mocked sarcastically. "What is wrong with him?"

She felt Chuck shadow her and knew she was going to get hell for this later. And she was going to get even more for what she was about to do to get Georgina gone. That was just something she was going to have to deal with. Her hair moved with his dark laughter and her heart stopped. What was that about?

"In case you don't remember, B," Georgina said shortly, "I was the one who deflowered your little prince."

"And I'm sure he's been completely faithful to you," Blair nodded. "Oh wait. I almost forgot. He can't stand breathing the same vile air as you. Figures."

"Jealous?" Georgina retorted.

"Of course I'm jealous," Blair said. "Some slut is in the penthouse with my boyfriend. What am I supposed to think?"

Chuck was quiet at the sound of their premeditated scheme as Georgina's face dropped again. Blair closed her eyes at the disgust she was about to invoke in herself but she did it anyway. She turned quickly into Chuck's waiting body, took his head between his hands and thrust her tongue into his mouth.

Before she could even think of turning away his hand caught the small of her back as his own tongue reciprocated. That was not part of the plan.

Blair was very aware of Georgina still staring at them. She urged herself to pull away. Chuck's breath was still hot against her neck, his hand still wrapped around her waist.

"You won't contact him again and I won't call security," Blair said coldly, very aware of Chuck's presence. Georgina suddenly lunged forward, dragging her from Chuck's embrace.

"This isn't over," Georgina snapped. Then a satisfied smile spread across her predatory mouth. "I told you, didn't I?" she asked. "I wonder what your golden prince will say."

Blair stared off as Georgina slammed the door behind her. Blair was so caught off guard she didn't feel his hand creep up her back again. She turned without realizing into his waiting body and his lips seared hers. Her back hit the door before she knew what was happening.

His taste was different than Nate's. That's all she could process as his tongue plundered her mouth. She couldn't think about how this was wrong and how he was her boyfriend's best friend and how he was just... Chuck.

All she could think of was how different he tasted. It wasn't gentle and soothing, but fiery and spicy tasting. She was thinking that would have something to do with the scotch he constantly destroyed his liver with.

But it was wrong. She had a boyfriend and the boy whose tongue was violating her mouth definitely wasn't him. She could tell the difference.

"What are you doing?" Blair shouted in surprise more than anything, shoving him away. His chest was heaving but he was staring at her in confusion.

"I don't know," he said with strange honesty. And she knew that like her, he had no idea what he was doing."I... don't know."

"Oh," Blair said, unsure of what to say. "Well... good."

"Okay," Chuck nodded, confusion still clouding his face.

It was in forcing herself to leave that Blair realized something for the first time in her life. Chuck was the one thing in her life that she couldn't control. What was worse, she couldn't control herself when she was around him. She should have sensed the danger. But that's what Chuck did to her. He was dangerous but he had ignited something in her. Maybe then she wouldn't have been so surprised in those stolen moments when he would stare at her.

**Weakness**

_Still the fact remains you chose to spend the night in a car with me over a night in your honeymoon suite with Nate. But then again, we all know your weakness for limos._

It was really the only thing he had against her. It was only after tailing her for a couple of days did she fall victim to him again. Then she would play her "hard to get" game which just consisted him of following her again in his limo. It was this simple fact that occurred to him that he had finally found the chink in Blair's armor that no one had yet discovered. Blair Waldorf had a weakness and he would exploit that to its fullest potential.

Blair stopped short when she saw it. Damn him and how perceptible he was. It would definitely be the end of her. She wanted to be past the point where she pretended to hate him. She didn't hate him. She hadn't hated him for a while. There was a point where she blamed him for being friends with Nate and not telling her things he should have but now with him just gazing at her with something she wished she could say besides adoration, she knew it wasn't the case anymore. She knew that her legs were urging her towards him. And that blamed _car_ of his.

"If it makes you feel better," Chuck said, pushing himself from his stance against the limo, "you can still pretend to hate me."

Bastard.

"And if it makes you feel any better," Blair said tauntingly, whispering in his ear as she approached, "I can still pretend to orgasm." There was that infuriating smirk.

"You never pretend," Chuck said lecherously. "I can feel it."

Blair wrinkled her nose and turned away, if only so he wouldn't see that he was totally right.

"Are you ready?" Chuck asked, pulling the door open.

"For what?" Blair asked, feigning ignorance.

"To leave with me in my glorious limo," Chuck said, "and most likely with a side of sex."

Blair crossed her arms petulantly over her chest, not knowing what else to do. She could never manipulate him like she wanted and it vexed her. Nate was so easy and she wondered what Chuck's pull was.

"I told you last time..." Blair warned.

"Please," Chuck rolled his eyes. "That you'd never have sex with me again in a moving vehicle? Like I'd ever believe that. Like it or not, princess, I've got your number. Better luck next time with someone who doesn't know your weakness."

"Weakness?" Blair sneered. "You're delusional."

"Don't worry." Chuck said, "I won't tell your little minions that you can never resist a... _ride_ in my limo."

"_That's_ my weakness?" Blair asked skeptically.

"Sure," Chuck shrugged. "It's dark with only me. As soon as those tinted windows close behind you, you can do whatever you want without being judged. You know that I never judge you. It's only natural that you can't refuse."

Blair pursued her lips, trying to figure a way tactfully out of this one. He was the only one who could beat her at her own game.

"Surrender yet?" Chuck grinned.

"Never," Blair snapped.

"Now don't do that just to spite me," Chuck drawled.

"What other way is there?" Blair said sweetly.

"Fine," he said. "Then just spite me inside."

"Why are you so keen on corrupting me in your Transportation of Lechery?" Blair asked coolly. "Could it be that you're the one who can't live without me?"

"I never said that you couldn't live without me," Chuck reminded her. "Even if it's true." But he continued to stare at her mouth. It made him uneasy how it quirked into that same smirk that he saw every time he looked into a mirror.

"I'll go with you," she said, pushing him aside so she could enter.

"What's the catch?" Chuck asked instinctively, immediately catching on.

"It's just nice," Blair said, sliding across the seat, "that I'm not the only one with a weakness."

"Oh?" he asked, not getting in yet.

"Yes," she said in that tone that warned him away. "Don't think I don't know the secret about the nape of my neck."

Oh.

_That_ weakness.

At least it got her in the car.

**Arthur**

_So what happened to your limo?_

_Arthur won't answer his phone, but I'm guessing Blair took it._

To be quite honest, being Chuck Bass's limo driver wasn't exactly his dream job. But he had to say that it wasn't the most boring of jobs. He had heard rumors that other limo drivers' only job was actually... driving the limo. But he had been in situations that he definitely didn't get paid for.

The first time this had ever occurred to him was a chilly night in November. It wasn't the first time that Mr. Bass's son had brought girls in the limo but it was definitely the first of which they had progressed past the heavy petting stage.

That should have been his first clue that Blair Waldorf was no ordinary girl to his master. She was the one who dominated his emotions and that would never change. She was the reason he was instructed to slow the limo to a crawl when following her in addition to passing her penthouse at all hours of the night when Bass Junior had a little too much from the mini bar.

All of this went through Arthur's head as the passenger side of the limo slammed shut and none other than Blair Waldorf slid in next to him. He wasn't paid to look, he wasn't paid to talk. He wasn't really paid to notice at all. But when her sharp brown eyes zeroed in on him, he had to do all of these things. Apparently Chuck wasn't the only one whose attentions were ensnared.

"How loyal are you to the man who pays you?"

That caught him off guard. He had seen Miss Waldorf before but they never exchanged formulated sentences. Now Arthur was aware that he who had seen everything wasn't really ready for the storm that was _Blair Cornelia Waldorf_.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Miss Waldorf," he said, putting his professional face on.

"Well if you're going to be coy about it..." Blair said in frustration.

"I can go look for Mr. Bass if you'd like-"

"No," Blair snapped quickly and Arthur was sure that something very serious had just transpired between the two teenagers that wasn't to the usual degree that the limo saw. "I don't want to see him."

"He'll be back in a little while, then."

She was staring at him again and he was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Arthur," she said slowly. He looked back at the pretty teenage girl he had become acquainted with. "Can I ask you something serious?"

"Of course," he replied as he was trained to do. She shifted so she was leaning on her side comfortably to look at him.

"Will you tell me the truth?" she asked.

"Of course, Miss Waldorf."

Her eyes were studying him and he didn't like the feeling of being under complete scrutiny.

"How many girls does _Mr. Bass_ bring back here?" she asked. Arthur could tell she was very skeptical of the teenage billionaire at this point and something must have been said in the back to upset her. He wasn't surprised. He was about to open his mouth when she interrupted.

"You promised that you'd tell me the truth," she reminded him.

"Mr. Bass is very popular," Arthur said tactfully.

"I'm sure he is," Blair sneered. "Enough to kick the skanks he's with out to the curb after they're done."

"He doesn't-" Arthur said before he could stop himself. He really had sympathy for this girl. But he also had loyalties and he just wished she knew the truth. In his opinion, Charles Bass was being really pigheaded about everything.

"Yes?" Blair asked, smirking slightly. She just hit the jackpot.

"He doesn't... socialize with the girls like that back there," Arthur said, trying to get his point across. He was a professional after all.

"Is that so?" Blair asked thoughtfully. "I guess he knows a mistake when he sees it."

"He doesn't think you were a mistake."

He was doing that talking without thinking thing again.

"What was that?" Blair asked dangerously. No one was really supposed to know about her little excursion (okay, many excursions) back there. But Arthur knew all.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Arthur said, looking out the windshield.

"What... makes you say that?" Blair asked, vulnerability seeping into her voice. He was in deep already. And his employer wouldn't fire him anyway. He knew too much about the Bass family.

"Because you're the only one he's taken back there."

"Too... socialize..." Blair hinted. Arthur nodded minutely. He hoped desperately that he wouldn't be found out. "That doesn't mean anything. He still plays games."

"Maybe..." Arthur said slowly, "he doesn't want to lose you." He really wasn't paid to be a shrink but he could never really handle emotional teenage girls. It wasn't his fault.

"Then he should have said something," Blair snapped.

"Maybe he doesn't know how."

"Then he should learn to."

He watched Blair sink down in her seat, glaring out the window.

"Going off to Whore-gina..." Blair said more to herself in disgust. "He would sink that low. He would go to her. But not with me."

Arthur couldn't help but have his eyes travel towards the petite girl. There was so much that she didn't know.

"What?" she asked, feeling his eyes on her.

"Nothing," Arthur said quickly. If she didn't ask then he wasn't going to tell.

"Is there something I should know?" Blair tempted. Arthur took a deep breath. He so didn't want to get fired for this.

"There are many things," Arthur admitted. "But I do know that he doesn't want to lose you."

"You're his confidante now?" Blair asked.

"Everyone is his confidante when he drinks."

"Fine. If that's the way he wants to play it, then that's how we'll play it." Blair turned her eyes sweetly on him. "Won't we, Arthur?"

He swallowed.

"Don't worry," she waved him off. "You won't get fired. I promise."

That was the least of his worries when Chuck Bass was involved.

"He played me," she muttered. "The least I could do would be the same to him."

"I don't think..." Arthur said, not wanting to incur the wrath of his boss.

"If there's one thing I can guarantee," Blair said, "it's your job. He won't fire you for this. He'll just realize who he's dealing with."

"Oh, he knows."

"What?" Blair asked coolly.

"Nothing," Arthur said as he started the ignition.

"That's what I thought."

When the car-phone rang, Arthur knew exactly who it was.

"Don't answer it."

Blair knew who it was too.

"But..."

Blair sighed, picking up the receiver and slamming it back down again. "There."

Arthur just tightened his grip on the wheel convulsively. If his master had to take a cab where there were no glasses, he would be sorely displeased.

The phone rang again.

Chuck definitely knew that the limo was out of state by now.

"Please," Blair said. "Just don't."

He knew he was being manipulated by this Upper East Side princess and he knew it wasn't fair. He really shouldn't let his job control him like this.

"How long have you known Chuck?" Blair asked after awhile.

"A long time," Arthur said, not remembering a time when the teenage Bass wasn't in this limo.

"I guess he'll always be like this," she said wistfully.

"He's changed," Arthur said. "Since last year. I can see it."

"What makes you so sure?" Blair asked spitefully.

"You."

That was the last bit of conversation he shared with the girl. This wasn't his job and technically, Chuck Bass was his job. But he knew it wouldn't be the last time he would see her. It was only three weeks later did the same girl crawl into the back of that very limo, pulling off her lime-green coat accompanied by the first smile Arthur had ever seen on the lips of his employer.


	66. Wrath of Con Part I

**A/N**: Just gotta say, when I first heard this quote, I literally squealed because this is the Chuck I love. (Not the one that pretends to be a good person, ahem, writers.) It may not seem like an allusion, but I knew I just had to do something with it.

**Summary**: Then there was the beautiful evil. The evil that seduced him into something he really had no business being in. But there she was, right before her eyes. And he let himself be seduced.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes and characters belong to GG.

**

* * *

****His Holy Water**

_The lord cannot enter a body sullied by alcohol._

_Good. Because I like to be the one doing the entering. _

_To each their own holy water._

Chuck Bass had no misconceptions of Georgina "Devil On Earth" Sparks. She was evil. Here endith the lesson. That being said, he really had no qualms about sleeping with evil. After all, in a way, they were sort of the same. And going beyond that, he really didn't have a problem losing his virginity to evil. He really wasn't one to protest. He was just like her.

At least, he thought he was. It was when Blair Waldorf graced his skin with her own presence did he learn differently. It was the first time he thought maybe he and Blair had something in common. They both lost their virginity to evil.

He didn't know that as much as he had to teach her about the knew lecherous world she was submitting herself to, she had so much more to teach him. It was when he learned there were two types of evil.

There was the cruel evil that destroyed relationships and sought pain for amusement. And then there was the beautiful evil. The evil that seduced him into something he really had no business being in. But there she was, right before her eyes. And he let himself be seduced.

It was then that he realized the evil he was didn't even compare to Georgina Sparks. No, his evil was different. It was better. Because even though he was morally bankrupt, he wasn't a full-on crazy person. He found that he was much more like Blair Waldorf instead. And he followed without ever looking back.

As soon as he entered her, he found a sort of heaven right where he was. He had no doubt that he wasn't a good person. Even if his even more cruel father shaped the way he was, he never really thought there would be something waiting for him after this life. He never really gave much thought to it, actually.

But the way her eyes brightened at him as she tightened around him was heaven in itself. He was never really religious or spiritual but being with her made him believe in something else. Something like maybe he actually meant something and wasn't a waste of space. It was his first taste of love.

Comparing the two harpies of society, it was easy to figure which one was meant for him. He had only ever really thought about it when Blair had gave him entrance to the sacred and hollowed ground that no other man had ever breached before him. _She_ chose _him_. And that meant the world to him. She could have had anyone. She could have had _Nate_. And that was more important. But for some reason, she let Chuck love her in the only way he knew how.

It was a question of how much Blair hated Georgina. Chuck never really thought it was strange. After all, the psycho was a stalker and he wouldn't feel the least bit bad if she landed in a ditch somewhere.

But after Blair had let him feel her velvety softness, this took on a whole different connotation. She bristled at the name and he would look at her, realizing something different. And this something became apparent frequently.

Her bare back was turned to him, the moonlight simply illuminating her so her skin had a porcelain glow. He could look at her forever. He knew she was in her thinking state. His sheets were done gliding over her body and he turned towards her, always wondering what was in that shrewd mind of hers. He leaned on his elbow willing her to turn to look at him silently.

"What was it like?"

Her question caught him off guard. She was always doing that. He never knew women could be so unpredictable. Then again, it wasn't _women_. It was just _Blair_. Blair, who never stopped surprising him. Blair, who he could never even conceive being without ever again. Not that she could ever know that. Then he really would lose all the power she hadn't already taken.

"What?" he asked, still dazed from things she invoked deep within him.

She turned to finally face him simply. "Georgina."

Now he was confused.

"Scary as hell," he said truthfully, his mind flashing back to moments when she would sneak into his suite and he'd have to call security. Or worse, Blair, from her romantic night with Nate to help him.

A small smile lit Blair's features fondly. "No, not after. Before."

"Before what?" he asked, still in the dark. It was a little irritating how he couldn't figure her out. But he was beginning to catch on.

"_Before_," Blair said, then pulling the covers over her, obscuring her body from his. Then he got it.

"It just happened once," he said uncomfortably.

"She's had a lot of experience," Blair said distantly. "She must have been..."

"Psychotic," Chuck shrugged. "I really didn't have anyone to compare it to."

"But you did after," Blair reminded him. "Right after."

His eyes narrowed. If there was one thing he wasn't counting on, it was Blair being _jealous_ of some freak.

"Is that what this is about?" he asked softly.

"Nevermind," Blair snapped, pulling away from him, turning to face away from him again.

"Blair," he said in wonder. He didn't even know how to respond to that. He gently placed a hand on her hip. She didn't pull away this time. That was a good sign, at least. "You know you're not like them."

"What's the difference?" she asked quietly.

What was the difference? The difference was obvious. Georgina was a freak. Out of bed and in (he wasn't going to lie, he was a virgin, but he was still a man.) But Blair...

"I wouldn't change anything that I've done," Chuck answered honestly. He felt her stiffen. "Otherwise... we both wouldn't be here."

She turned again to face him. Her face was unreadable, but he was sure that wasn't a bad thing. He was getting better at this.

Georgina was the devil. But Blair was... Blair was something else. She was his holy water. She was salvation. And he was going to keep entering her until she cleansed him. He just hoped he would always be dirty.

**Feelings**

_It doesn't make any sense._

_Feeling never do. They get you all confused. And they drive you around for hours til they drop you off right where you started._

Blair wasn't an expert or anything. She had dated one stoner for what, four years? It didn't really spell out vast oceans of experience. But she knew what it felt like to get hurt. And she knew what happiness felt like. But until recently, she had no idea that complete and utter passion and ecstasy could feel like that sans drugs.

His dark eyes pulled her in and then he shrank away from her. It didn't make any sense. He never did and she couldn't figure what was wrong with her. In a way, it made her more insecure than she ever was with Nate. If someone like Chuck Bass didn't want her, then who would?

But when they were together... there was just nothing like it. She was elated and he made her feel more beautiful, wanted, and just desired than anyone ever could. And maybe, that was worth it. He appreciated her and that was what convinced her. If anything, he could always convince her.

Words like _you're ten times hotter than any of those girls_ and _you look lovely_ could be crude or simple but that was just him. And she let him envelope her in his sweet smelling arms and that was that.

And then it was pulled right from under her. She couldn't understand it. If all the years of scheming and manipulating earned her this, it definitely wasn't worth it. If it were anyone else, she wasn't sure if it would matter this much. But it was him. And she wasn't sure if she could survive it.

The moonlight illuminated the tree that glittered with everything she felt empty with. She used to love Christmas. But now that she thought about it, last year wasn't that great either. She thought Chuck's blackmail was for his own amusement and not actually a sign of his affection for her.

But she was sure now. A note and some drunken texts about Thailand (at least, she that's what it was considering his drunken jumbles of words.) And she couldn't understand it. She didn't get it. She had never felt so emotionally (and physically) connected to someone in her life. She was sure he was it for her. But if that was the case, was she really meant to suffer this much?

She was sure they were done. She couldn't do this anymore. She just couldn't. But suddenly he was there and her heart came to a thudding halt once again.

_Hello to you too, lover._

However cruelly spat they were, they meant the world to her. And no matter how _wife_ was sneered at her and how hard those flowers hit the elevator floor, she knew she couldn't be done with him.

He was there, standing with her in the middle of the dark street against his limo and she knew she was in trouble. She wished her feelings just could stop jerking her around, but that didn't really seem likely.

She knew it was only a matter of time. She didn't desire Nate like that and she didn't feel that way with Nate. It was only a matter of time before she broke them like she had before. And Chuck hovering over her like that really was not helping. She knew he was just waiting for his chance. But she had to do this on her own time.

Feelings hurt, but she just wished she could hold out long enough. She wished delaying herself with Nate long enough would make her immune to Chuck's hold over her. But she couldn't fool herself. It was only a matter of time. It was only a matter of time before Nate didn't satisfy her enough and Chuck was just waiting in the wings. It was only a matter of time before his dullness overwhelmed everything. It was only a matter of time before she caved to her feelings again.

Until that time, however, she just wished she could hold herself together. She just hoped she wouldn't get confused again.


	67. Wrath of Con Part II

**A/N**: I didn't realize how short the vignettes for this chapter was. But there's another chapter for this episode, so never fear. This is definitely the shortest chapter I've ever written at 1938 words.

**Summary**: It never occurred to him that he would be lying to himself. He was so good at deceiving people. He never really got that he was just as good- if not better- at deceiving himself.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Leather Seats**

_I hope you had an enjoyable ride back on my leather seats._

Blair had always liked leather. She didn't wear it a lot but there was just something there. She hadn't realized what it was until one fateful night she went to the opening of a club where she just happened to lose her virginity.

Crying really wasn't helping her now, however. She knew that Arthur would return her to her boyfriend at Murray Hill well enough but she just couldn't help it. The partition was up and the driver would let her be, but there was no question. At least she could just cry in peace now.

Maybe she should have just gotten a cab. She remembered Chuck's philosophy (although she didn't want to be thinking about Chuck's anything at the moment.) Why settle for public transport when you had a bedroom on wheels?

She was thinking of a certain time that she shouldn't. That didn't really apply since the sex part was what was really weighing on his mind. Because when it came to that, there was only one thing that Chuck Bass would be thinking about.

There was a time when she thought it was several things. Several women, to be exact. It came as a surprise when he would allude to the contrary. He never came out and said it and she liked keeping it that way. Then she could at least fool herself some of the time.

Tears that stained leather were just like sweat that used to strain from her body. It used to be echoes of laughter and moans but now it was silent. It was lone silence except for her racking sobs. The ones that the driver pretended not to hear. It wasn't his business. She wasn't his boss.

_You were... amazing up there._

She wished that damned voice would stop.

_You sure?_

He wasn't here. He wasn't there with her anymore. She had a boyfriend.

_It's a shame you took a bus and not a limo. I don't know if you know this, but Blair loves a limo._

Shut up, shut up, **shut up**.

_Still the fact remains you chose to spend the night in a car with me._

She refused to let some ghost of Chuck who was now miles away to taunt her like he could so easily do instinctively.

_But then again we both know your weakness for limos._

"Miss Waldorf?"

"What?" Blair snapped, before she realized what she was doing. Arthur looked nervous but cleared his throat.

"We're here."

Sure enough, Blair looked out the window and they had arrived at Murray Hill, the one place that she actually didn't want to be. How strange that even the phantom of Chuck could make her forget the limo's motion. He could always do it so easily when they used to be together.

"Thank you," she said in a raspy voice, still clouded with tears. She took out the compact mirror that she had used not so long ago. This time it wasn't checking for her ruined hair but to clear the remnants of black make-up that had streaked her face.

She held her breath and Nate loomed in front of her. But no matter how many times she chanted to herself, she knew it was true. It wasn't really the limo she had a weakness for but the person who owned it.

She thought she could just lock him in the back of her mind while Nate took center stage.

She thought wrong.

So very, very wrong.

**Lies**

_What I couldn't figure out was why you would go out of your way to lie to me about how you felt. Then I realized you weren't lying to me. You're lying to yourself._

Lies came second nature to him. It wasn't really the lying that did. It was omitting the truth. It was manipulation and deception. He could do it better than anyone. At least, that was what he thought. He knew he wasn't alone when it came to her. That was what made Nate so easy. For awhile, he thought that was what maybe Blair saw in the blond pretty boy. He was something she could use. She wouldn't fight constantly with him. Their lives wouldn't be filled with angst. They wouldn't be filled with passion either, though.

Chuck never really used to understand Blair. He never knew why she stayed with someone so dense who treated her so much like dirt.

_If I were your man I wouldn't need clues to find you._

He knew she understood the subtext.

_If I were your man..._

He could be better. They would scream and abuse each other but at the end of the day, they understood each other better than anyone. And they fit together so perfectly and just so _damn good_... it just felt right.

It was different now. Those two were together for good now because Blair needed someone good. She didn't need a royal screw up who couldn't help but hurt her. Maybe it was easy. But it was right for her.

It never occurred to him that he would be lying to himself. He was so good at deceiving people. He never really got that he was just as good- if not better- at deceiving himself.

Maybe that was why he hadn't seen her for so long. All the times she had cried over Nate and he held her after Serena left... A different man would have consoled her in the way Nate should have. A better man would have taken advantage of what she was offering.

Chuck was never a good man. But he was good for Blair. He knew this was true. But Nate stopped him in front of The Russian Tea Room and he shook it off. Blair didn't love him and he didn't love her. That's the way it was. That was the way it had to be. So why was Nate looking at him so peculiarly?

Since when had Nate become so damn observant? He wasn't toying with Blair. He never did that. It didn't give him amusement but tortured him in the way he could tell her the three words she had told him so seriously.

But now Nate was looking at him and he had to know. He didn't want Blair. He didn't want her because she was done with him. She told him and he told Nate he was done. It was what he was telling himself.

But walking up to her with that martini and he could feel again made him realize something. He still reigned supreme at lying. But Nate was getting better at spotting those lies. Better than Chuck did.

So he sat down next to her and realized something. It wasn't anything he could tell her so he would just keep on lying to himself.

"I can't make her happy."

The was the first truthful thing he said to anyone that he could remember.

**Laughter**

_That's the first true laugh I've gotten out of you in awhile._

Chuck never had true laughter. It was a rare thing. Usually it was just an amused smirk or bitter joy out of what a failure Blair and Nate's so-called relationship was. He thought he was meant to be a miserable excuse for a human being for the rest of his life. It was only laughter while on the verge of good bud that sounded really genuine.

And Blair would roll her eyes and take his upper arms, leading him to where she kept the Visine so Bart wouldn't take more notice than he already had. Even in those moments, Blair seemed to be a key player. She smiled at him encouragingly, like it was okay he was happy.

And then it happened. He hadn't it expected it to. He hadn't wanted it to. At all. But all of a sudden it did and he had no idea how. He hadn't wanted to betray his best friend but the opportunity to be really genuine was there. And once again, it happened in the presence of Blair Waldorf.

Suddenly, laughs came easily an frequent and he couldn't figure why. She would look at him with innocence that was just a facade he could easily ravish. Then her sweet reality came through and he shuddered with pleasure. Only she could. It was only her. And he could laugh.

"What?" she asked uneasily. He laughed again. She really didn't get it.

"What?" she asked again, this time with annoying petulance that only looked cute on her.

"You really don't get it," he murmured. She rolled her eyes and groaned. It was just another demand for him to tell her what he was thinking. She liked reading him.

"You don't get what you do to me," he said huskily, knowing what it really did to her.

"Am I especially humorous this evening?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. If she only knew.

"No," he said, stroking back her hair in the way he only did when they were alone. "I just don't know how you do it."

"What?" she asked, uneasily yet again. She was so insecure and he couldn't really understand that either. She was too perfect and he didn't know what he did to deserve her.

It wasn't without its consequences, however. He knew it was only a matter of time before his best friend found out and took back what he never should have let go in the first place. As though Chuck hadn't had that taste of true beauty.

"Make me be real for once," he admitted.

"And that's funny?" she asked.

"No," he said again. "You're just the only one who can get a real laugh out of me."

He shouldn't have spoken too soon. Because before he knew it, she was gone from his tight embrace. Before he knew it, he was even more miserable than before and he couldn't laugh anymore.

He shouldn't have mourned her loss. He shouldn't have tried to win her back. Soon he was encroaching on territory. The same territory that didn't belong to him and he couldn't stop it. He just couldn't. So he laughed when she looked him in the eyes because it was all he could do.

He couldn't win her back this time. She wouldn't let him.


	68. Wrath of Con Part III

**A/N**: Last chapter for Wrath of Con. And then two more episodes until we're done with Season 2. Amazing. These are also short. But I just had to use this scene for these quotes. All of them are taken from Chuck and Blair's bar scene. Because its amazing. The last two are just drabbles because I just had to use these quotes.

**Summary**: He wanted to be the one to claim her first. First and forever. He didn't have thoughts like that but suddenly he was falling and he still hadn't hit the ground.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG. Nothing is mine

* * *

**Acting**

_Last fall you said we couldn't be together. And I believed you. But every time I try to move on you're right there. Acting like..._

_Acting like what?_

Peonies hitting elevator floors hurt more than they should. He doesn't love her, remember?

_Now was that it or were you going to tell me you love me again?_

He doesn't forget her glower at those girls on the couch or how her eyes fill with tears.

_It's time to let go of your fantasies._

He wished he could let go of his.

_Stop trying to play the _wife_._

He knew right as he said that last word it was the last straw. He saw her break and as the elevator doors closed, he broke a million times harder than she ever could.

He didn't blame her. The was the problem. He should have hated her but he didn't. He should have drank until he couldn't see straight, stalk right back up to her penthouse and yell at her. But he couldn't.

He couldn't because he knew it was true. He loved her and he never had the stones to even tell her. She was the strongest person he had ever met. Stronger than him. She carried him and helped him. She pulled him off of ledges and held him after wakes while he cried. He could only dream to be as strong as she was. He could only dream that he could ever crawl back in with her like the whithering shell of a man he was. He didn't deserve the love that she had so willingly given as her tears fell for him. He hadn't seen it, but he was certain it was more than once. He had hurt her too many times.

No, he wasn't angry at her when she said those hurtful words.

_I'm sorry, but I'm done._

He should have cursed her name because of that joke of a sentence she said.

_I will stand by you through anything._

He didn't even hate her that she didn't come through on her promise.

He hated himself because that was the way it always was. He was meant to be alone and that was that.

But watching her in that pretty little orange dress at the opera was more than he could handle. He couldn't handle seeing her and he certainly couldn't handle seeing her scheme. It was too much. It was too much because he could tell the warning signs. He could tell that he was already falling back in love with her. And he hated himself a little bit more.

"Hi."

He looked up in surprise. Surely it couldn't be the same perfect girl who he had made cry at least a dozen times in a span of a month.

But he was staring and she was still beautiful of course, and looking back at him expectantly. She had addressed him and he couldn't help but stare at her glory.

"Hello," he said with awkward formality, and for the first time in his life, not sure what she wanted. He was confused. And that was the understatement of the year. If he was sure of anything, he was sure of one thing. He heard her two dads talking at the opera.

_He's as dead to me as his father is to him._

He was sure those were the words. And yet she was looking at him and he was afraid he had said something wrong. The best thing to do was to walk away. But as much as he tried, even when he did, he could never stay long for gone. This woman had power over him and it wasn't anything he could moderate.

"Well, it was nice talking to you."

She didn't sound offended or anything. He realized she was being polite and nothing else. She wasn't giving him another chance that he didn't even deserve. But that wave of scent that was so _Blair_ and the soothing sound of her voice was too much to handle and he was already in too deep. He couldn't let her go now and he wouldn't be able to later. So he just dove in deep.

"Wait," he said, lunging forward so he could take her arm in his hand. He retreating form stopped short but she didn't turn around. "Don't go."

She revolved slowly and studied him with her eyes. She couldn't figure him out as much as he couldn't figure her out. It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.

"I'm sorry," he said. He could tell as her expression started to change that it was the wrong thing to say. And Chuck was the epitome of suave. He wasn't about to apologize for the wrongs he had committed before. It wasn't enough. It was never enough. But he did know what to apologize for to get back into her good graces. And even if she couldn't comfort him with her warmth anymore, he at least still wanted to hear her voice on an amicable level. He wanted that much.

"I'm sorry that I didn't get to help you put that slut of a teacher on Gossip Girl," he said humbly. "It must have been quite a show."

He liked the ghost of a smile that lit her pretty, pretty lips.

He wondered what it would feel like if-

_No_. He had to stop that. He knew she wouldn't let him and that was that.

Blair crossed her arms over her chest, really taking him in this time.

"It was," she said. She wasn't really giving him more than that.

"Am I forgiven?" he asked tentatively. Her mouth tightened and they both knew this wasn't all about some teacher. He knew he was wading in treacherous and dangerous waters but he couldn't help himself. He could never help himself when it came to her.

"The jury's still out," she said distantly. He looked and her mother was looking expectantly at her. He knew that look. Sure enough, by Eleanor's side was probably some other heir that she wished to marry her daughter of to.

"Duty calls," Chuck said, trying not to sound as wistful as he felt. He knew it didn't come out that way.

"So it would seem."

Blair wasn't looking at her mother anymore but him. He struggled under her gaze. He knew she liked it better like that.

"What are you doing, Chuck?" she asked quietly. He wished the moisture in her eyes were a mirage but he had never really been that lucky as of late.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he answered honestly. Her hating him was one thing. At least she was still thinking of him. But if she turned away from him for good, he wouldn't know what to do. If she ever forgot him... that would be worse.

"You shouldn't," she warned him.

"I know I don't deserve it," he told her. She was just shaking her head.

"No," she said. "It's dangerous for us both. For me."

It was always about her but that was the way he liked it.

"Tell me what to do."

"I can't anymore," she said. She started backing away from him but his grip tightened. He had yet to let go of her. He could never let go of her.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"I know," she said shakily. "That's the problem."

His grip grew lax and she slipped away. It hadn't occurred to him that she actually had forgiven him. It hadn't occurred that this was about her and not him. He wanted a chance, he really did. But he couldn't stand to hurt her anymore.

Even worse, he couldn't stand to stop loving her either. And this time, it wasn't an act at all.

**Happiness**

_You want me to be as unhappy as you are._

_I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy._

Chuck was the most egocentric person to inhabit the Upper East Side. He was aware of this. He was spoiled and rich and there was really nothing more to it. There shouldn't have been.

He didn't count on falling in love. He never really thought about it at all. From an early age, he knew it wasn't for him. Gratification and pleasure were really the only things he was concerned with. He rolled his eyes at fools like Nate who forgot his girlfriend's birthday like clockwork and pitied poor souls like Blair who cried bitterness from her eyes as Nate turned hard when a golden beauty turned away. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't worth it.

Not only that, but what woman would want him?

That was it.

No woman.

And he didn't love women. His barely there male role model who couldn't even call himself a father made sure of that. Woman were toys and trophies and that was all there was to it.

Bart failed to remark on his first wife. Chuck never knew Evelyn and he didn't understand. He didn't know what it was like to be all consumed. He didn't even know it could happen to him. He didn't know until one fateful night when everything changed. He didn't ask it to but it did. And she changed him.

For better or for worse.

He didn't know he could find happiness in the arms of a woman he was never supposed to have. It wasn't fair. If Nate could have just done his stupid job Chuck wouldn't have fallen into oblivion. But he didn't want to know life without it. Sometimes, if his mind was just erased, he wondered if it would just be better. If he never knew this life, it would be better. But he could never allow it. But in the moments when Blair would look at him with purity, he was truly happy. For the first and only time in his life.

He didn't know this would happen. He wondered if he did, would he fall into the trap that seductress had set for him. He didn't get seduced, he seduced women himself. But she slid that dress down her thighs and that slip was so delicious. She tossed the boa in the air as her hips tantalized him. Before he knew it, he was betraying his best friend. He asked if she was sure but that was the best he could have done.

He liked better sinking into her warmth and taking something even Nate hadn't. It was a testosterone thing. He wanted to be the one to claim her first. First and forever. He didn't have thoughts like that but suddenly he was falling and he still hadn't hit the ground.

Suddenly he was inviting her into his bed and persuading her to stay until morning (_persuading_, not begging, mind you. Chuck Bass does not plead or beg.) She made him happy for real this time. There were those moments where he thought he might burst and she would stroke his hair back and she would envelope him again.

He had never thought about his parents' relationship before. He didn't think about whether they were happy and in love. He didn't think if it was a society marriage. Then Bart had dropped by unexpectedly and caught Blair coming out of the bathroom while straightening her skirt and froze in front of the Bass patriarch.

Chuck admired the way she flipped her hair and greeted him in that society way they all had learned. Bart nodded curtly but Chuck could tell it was a compliment. He was never more surprised when Bart clapped him on the shoulder and asked how _Victrola_ was doing. He knew his father had approved and for the first time, Chuck began to ponder if the old man had ever felt the tight tendrils of love that wrapped around his dark heart to never let go.

When Chuck thought of love, he didn't really think that selflessness had anything to do with it. He understood that now. He understood because he was a selfish person. He still was. He still put his own needs above everyone else's.

Except hers. Her needs came before everyone's. He scowled at Serena and her thoughtlessness and seriously considered reprimanding Eleanor when Blair would cry alone in the bathroom when she thought that no one was listening.

He was listening. He was always listening, always watching. He was always taking care of her because he couldn't bare not to. For the first time, he found what it was to be selfless. He finally knew what true happiness was because it didn't pertain to him. It was Blair. It was always Blair.

Sometimes it wasn't enough, though. Sometimes he just had to be selfish. If it was anything else, it wouldn't matter. Money was money and Nathaniel was easy to fool. But being without her just wasn't an option. He would always be there to make her happy because when those big, dark eyes turned down in sorrow, his own body was wracked with physical pain and he hated how no one could take care of her like he could.

He would care for her always because like it or not, he loved her. And there was no way of stopping that. But when he watched her walk off with his best friend... that was just it. He loved her. He loved her more than anything. He even (oh, god) loved her more than himself. But the one thing he couldn't stand was watching her be with someone else. It wasn't good and it wasn't right and he wouldn't allow it.

For the first time, he would allow himself to be selfish because if being selfish meant getting her back, then that was what he was going to do.

But now she was crying again. It was tears on the beautiful Waldorf that he couldn't take. She was crying and it was because of him. She was crying and he would never be able to make it stop. Before, it was different. He would need her more and he would cave to that. But this time it was different.

This time, he let her go. He dismissed her as much as it pained him to do so. This time, her happiness meant more than having her. Because this time she would be happier without him.

**Admitting Love**

_Chuck, why did you just do that?_

_Because I love her. And I can't make her happy._

Chuck Bass always knew he was in love with Blair Waldorf. Or least, for some time. Even if it took him awhile to actually realize it. There were key moments when he who was oh so perceptive really should have caught on. He was just blinded. He was blinded by loyalty and blinded by his own ignorance. He loved her. He just couldn't admit it.

It wasn't that difficult afterward. It was quite simple, actually. He knew something was wrong the minute she took the stage. This wasn't one of his best friends Blair who liked social destruction and cared about propriety. This wasn't the Blair who squealed at Vanderbilt diamonds and cared about a (stupid) boy who would never care that way about her.

No, this was a Blair that appealed to him and that was the most dangerous thing ever. Before she was beautiful (hot), smart (sexy), and witty (seductive.) It didn't mean that he would forget about...

But he did. Because suddenly she was all of these things. Suddenly she was crawling into his lap and unbuttoning his pants. And suddenly he was gone. He was breathing heavily against her sweet smelling collarbone and he couldn't take it back.

So he didn't. On that balcony, he said things he didn't understand and realized things that seemed unlikely (butterflies and _like_?). It happened so fast.

It was the fifth or sixth time she made him cry out her name and the countless numbers of times she shook with pleasure when he remembered that he didn't do this. He didn't sleep with just one woman. Even if this woman was mesmerizing and amazing (he loved that word.) He just didn't do it. But he did it with Blair and while she slumbered peacefully, her scent still staining his silk sheets, he knew it without a doubt. It was never a question for him. He had never felt it but it couldn't be anything else. He loved her. He had never loved anyone else and he couldn't imagine feeling this way for anyone else and it had happened. He loved Blair Waldorf.

Admitting it was another thing altogether.

At first, he was sure that she already knew. He spoke deep words at his father's wedding and he thought it was the most obvious thing in the world. Why else wouldn't he have sex with her? Why else would he want to take things slow? He just didn't _do_ that. She was different and that was it.

But she asked that fateful and infamous question and it just kept echoing, ricocheting around his brain until he screamed from the insanity. How could she not know? It wasn't that it wasn't true. It was the one truth that he ever knew. But the fact that she didn't know made him insecure. If he told her... he didn't know what would happen. And that was the scariest thing of all.

So they began the painful tango that scorched hearts and pierced emotions and he couldn't take it. Her saying it didn't make it any better. She could say it at the moment when his faith in everything (except her) had died. He finally went to her and he could have said it. But he couldn't really say much of anything. He was so thankful that she was there to hold him together but if he said it, maybe she would disappear, just like everyone else he dared to love. And he couldn't take it. So he didn't. So he ran.

And he ruined them.

And sitting there at that bar, he could only think of one thing.

Pain.

He never gave her the things that she gave him. He gave her pain and suffering and he couldn't do that to her anymore. He could feel his step sister approach and he couldn't stop the shame that overcame him. He couldn't do anything right.

But he could say something to make it better. He let her go to make it better.

He loved her. But he couldn't make her happy. So he did this one thing for the love of his life so that one day, looking back at it all with her blonde children and Vanderbilt diamond she would understand. Maybe she would finally understand he loved her entire being. And he let her go, if only to make her happy. At least he could admit that much.


	69. Valley Girls Part I

**A/N:** Just two short chapters until the season finale and the finale of this fic. Hope you're excited. The last chapter is a little... whatever. But I had to put it in anway. Not my best chapter, but I worked with what I had. But (AHHHH) GG IS ON TONIGHT. So that should cheer you up. (FINALLY.)

**Summary**: He was starting to slur and she wasn't sure if she could really trust anything. But she trusted him more than anything. But she knew what he meant. People like them didn't fall in love. Not in the way that they did.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG and nothing else.

**

* * *

****Arrested**

_I just can't believe she had her own daughter arrested. I mean, who does that?_

_Someone who's never been arrested._

"Help."

It was in that one syllable that Blair knew that she was going to spend her Saturday in the worst possible way. And that most likely was going to involve Chuck Bass.

She hated Serena.

"No."

"Please," Serena begged. "You're the only one who can do it."

"You can," Blair said immediately.

"I can't," Serena said. "He knows if my mom finds out then Bart will find out."

"You can get him," Blair told her.

"Ever since I came back from boarding school my mom has been watching my every move."

"Eric," Blair said.

"B, really?" Serena sighed. "You want to send a 15 year old kid, just out of the Ostroff Center-"

"Fine, fine," Blair rolled her eyes. Then they lit up.

"You wouldn't ask that," Serena said, catching up.

"They're best friends," Blair said.

"Not anymore," Serena said pointedly.

"And you think I want to do this?" Blair snapped.

"Blair, you can do this," Serena said. "And you don't feel anything for him anymore so it won't be a problem. You'll bicker, you'll insult each other..."

Serena looked at Blair's face that almost showed something like guilt.

"What..." Serena asked uncertainly. Blair met her eyes sadly.

"No," Serena whispered. "You can't."

"Do you think I want to feel this way?" Blair asked, wiping sudden tears hastily from her face. "God, the first thing I thought when you said Chuck was arrested was 'is he alright?' What's wrong with me?"

"That's really sweet, Blair," Serena said.

"No," Blair said sharply. "No. It's wrong and unnatural and I hate it."

Blair slumped onto the chair at the counter at the center of the van der Woodsen-Bass abode.

"Don't worry," Serena said. "They only charged him with drunken disorderly. He'll be fine."

"I don't want to want to know he's fine," Blair sniffed.

"He asked for my help."

"So you're sending me?" Blair laughed bitterly. "I thought you two were bonding. He hates me."

"And I thought you hated him," Serena reminded her. "What if..."

"No," Blair said through gritted teeth. "I'll go pick up your stupid quasi-step-brother from the 55th precinct because I'm your friend. But don't you dare finish that sentence."

"Afraid that I'm right?" Serena smiled.

"Goodbye, Serena," Blair said, pressing the button for the elevator hurriedly.

"Bye, Juliet," Serena smiled. Blair stared at her blankly. "Romeo and Juliet," Serena clarified. "They were star crossed lovers."

"Bye, Serena," Blair said, shaking her head as the elevator doors opened. Serena was really too much of a romantic. And when it came to Chuck Bass, romanticism was dangerous. It made her think things she shouldn't be thinking. She needed to keep a straight mind as she was walking through the precinct. She knew she didn't love him. She couldn't. Even if he did look so adorable curled up on the bench while she paid his bail.

"What happened?" she asked the officer quietly.

"I don't know," he said. "I wasn't the arresting officer. But by judging from the way he arrived, I assumed they were just going to leave him in The Tank overnight."

"The Tank?" Blair wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"It's where they keep the drunken disorderlies to sleep it off."

"Will he be alright?" Blair asked with insecurity.

"Sure," the officer shrugged. "Although I wouldn't relish to be the one to take him home. I would suggest just leaving him in there."

"Leave him?" Blair asked. "I'm not Bart Bass."

The officer smiled. "Are you his girl?"

Blair stiffened. It was then it occurred to her she really didn't know. To an innocent bystander, some girl who went to pick up some drunk guy didn't seem like just friend behavior. Maybe if Eric picked him up it would have been.

At the officer's laugh she realized she hadn't answer but had a pondering expression on her face. Chuck just had to ruin everything.

"It's my girl."

Blair looked up instinctively at the familiar voice to see Chuck stumbling in her direction. Gone was his sneering facade. As much as she hated to admit it, he looked relieved to see her. Then again, he was still wrecked.

He tripped into her arms that she surrounded around him to keep him from falling.

"I'm not..." Blair stuttered, trying to assure the officer that they weren't connected in anyway. He just nodded and she knew he didn't believe her. It was hard enough to convince herself.

Another thought for another time. When she was lugging his dead weight to the sidewalk and not be thinking about how his body was pressed against hers. She attempted to hail a cab while he refused to let go of her.

"What are you doing?" he drawled in her ear. Her eyes fluttered but snapped open when she realized they were _in public_. Gossip Girl had spies everywhere.

"Hailing a cab," she said shortly. "Shut up."

She felt his chest vibrate from laughter. "My lady's feisty tonight."

"What are you doing?" she demanded, putting down her hand finally.

"Why?" he asked. "Do I make you nervous?" She didn't like him this way. It was confusing for her to have him so close and want to be instead of him calling her some overused horse.

"You make me irritated,"she said coldly.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "My limo's coming."

"I thought you called Serena for your one phone call."

"I wanted to call you."

"What are you doing?" she asked apprehensively. She didn't like this at all.

"Being honest," he said. "Anyway, I did. She called the limo for me."

"So you didn't need me to pick you up at all?" she asked.

"No," he said. "I needed someone to pay my bail."

"So you used me for my money," she rolled her eyes. "Charming."

"Maybe I needed you."

"The limo's here," Blair said in relief, pulling him along. He was quiet enough and she slammed the door behind him.

"Miss Waldorf," Arthur greeted.

"The Palace, please," Blair said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Sometimes, she felt as though she should get paid for taking care of the bastard.

"Yes, miss," Arthur said with a hint of the smile. She really hated Chuck's employees. They hung out way too much with them. She leaned her head back on the leather interior and it was then she remembered this was the first time she had been in his limo since... everything.

Blair heard rustling and turned over to see Chuck sliding over to be closer to her.

"Thank you."

It was the first time he sounded serious all night.

"Really," he said genuinely. "I don't have to tell you what would happen if my father found out."

"I know," she whispered.

"You came to get me," he said, almost in awe.

"It was for Serena."

"I couldn't believe my eyes," he continued, ignoring her past acknowledgment. "After everything I said... even after everything you did. What we did."

"It doesn't matter," she said. "It's over now."

"It was never over."

"What are you doing, Bass?" Blair asked. "I... can't."

She closed her eyes as he brushed her hair away from her face. She felt his head fall on her shoulder. She hoped he was falling asleep. She couldn't take him reeking havoc on her emotions like this. She couldn't take it anymore.

"I miss you."

Blair pulled away immediately.

"Chuck, stop it," she ordered. His eyes never left hers and she knew he wasn't playing her. That's what made these feelings even harder.

"Because of him?" Chuck asked and his eyes darkened. "Because of Nate?"

"What would make you say that?"

"Well you did sleep with him for a reason."

"Yeah, to get back at you," Blair rolled her eyes before she realized what she was doing. He was smirking triumphantly.

"I knew it," he whispered.

"No, you didn't," she said. "You wouldn't have said those things if you knew."

"I hoped," he said. "When I went out tonight... I hoped."

"You got drunk and arrested because of me?" Blair snapped.

"People like me don't do this and you know it."

He was starting to slur and she wasn't sure if she could really trust anything. But she trusted him more than anything. But she knew what he meant. People like them didn't fall in love. Not in the way that they did.

He laid his head down on her lap. She couldn't move. She knew he wouldn't remember anything in the morning. She wanted to forgive him. And she knew it was only a matter of time before she did.

**Plans**

_Prom hasn't been going as planned. The florist lost Blair's corsage. Someone bought out all the peonies. And when I called to confirm the limo, it had been rented out by a bachelorette part in Jersey._

_The heart quickens._

_Yeah, well, my hotel room has been mysteriously canceled and I just found out Blair's dress has been ruined._

_How tragic._

The peonies were easy. And he just had to make a call to the hotel and Nate was booted. The bachelorette party was more fun. But he didn't swing the Jersey way. Nine inch nails and fake tans weren't that alluring. He preferred modest manicures and pale complexions. But that was just him. And in his schemes, he liked getting creative.

It was the dress that he focused on. Nate didn't know. Nate didn't know anything. He told him he was backing off and that wasn't a lie. That didn't mean he would stop loving Blair. He wouldn't ever. He tried and it didn't work. But it was the dress that meant something to her. So it meant something to him.

"Blair Waldorf."

The girl working the counter who he was sure was younger than him looked at him skeptically.

"You're not Blair Waldorf," she sighed. He knew this girl read Gossip Girl not to mention the fact that he was male.

"Obviously," he sneered. "I'm picking up my girlfriend's dress for prom."

"No, you're not," the girl shook her head.

"I assume you know who I am," Chuck drawled in annoyance. He really didn't like being denied anything.

"Yes," the girl said, rolling her eyes.

"Then I will also assume," Chuck said, taking out his wallet, "that this will only add to my prestige."

The girl looked at the crisp bills that were obviously more than her salary for the month. She outstretched her hand and he snatched it back quickly.

"The dress," Chuck stressed.

"I'm about to go on break," the girl said. "You will find that security is surprisingly lax."

"Splendid," Chuck replied, handing over the cash. He loitered at the counter until she disappeared around the corner. Chuck slipped easily behind the counter.

Finding her label was easy. He unzipped the sleeve and examined the dress. He tried to suppress a snort. He knew this had more to do with Nate's superb influence than what she always wanted. He was aware if how much Nate wanted her. But she was still compromising things for him. Chuck zipped the dress up roughly about to take it before he thought of something different.

He smirked, skirting around employees who avoided his eye line before he found it. Blair would thank him later. If she ever found out. Which she wouldn't. As far as she was concerned, it was darling Daddy who would do anything for her. At first glance, Chuck hadn't thought he had anything in common with Harold.

"What are you doing?"

The girl had returned from her "break."

"I think I'm done here," Chuck smirked, backing away from the corpse in the body bag.

"I thought you were just taking the dress," the girl said in distress, looking at the blotched colors.

"I only implied that," Chuck shrugged. "Miss Waldorf's maid will be here soon to pick it up."

"This could cost me my job," she sputtered, ignoring his nonchalance.

"Well you've got some money to get you started," Chuck said with his blasé tone, not really caring as he walked off.


	70. Valley Girls Part II

**A/N**: This is the last chapter until the finale. Excited?

**Summary**: Nate wasn't doing the job and Chuck was all but willing to pick up the pieces. He knew he could never because Blair was indeed his friend and Nate was also his friend. But he knew if she ever wanted it, ever asked for it, ever _went_ for it, he would not be able to resist. And that was a fact.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to GG. Okay, 4x01 was a little scarring at the end but I am suddenly PUMPED for this Monday. The very last blurb at the end is something I just couldn't resist to putting in at the last second. Because it is oh so true.

* * *

**The Scrapbook**

_You didn't think you were the only one who knew about the scrapbook, did you?_

Chuck didn't really know how to have a girl as a best friend. Even when it was the four of them (but really the three of them) he treated her like how he treated all the rest. He was sleazy and looked up her skirt. But there was something else there as well. There were the late night drinks that he only shared with her and how he was the first person she went to for her scheming plots.

There was no doubt in his mind that Blair Waldorf was his only female friend. Serena was just different. Of course he would sleep with her in a heartbeat. She was hot and she had experience. But he didn't respect her. She slept around and was seducing Blair's boyfriend right under her own nose. At least Chuck had more class than that.

Blair Waldorf had class. And even though he would have slept with Serena, if Blair wanted him to, he would have done with the same with her. The difference was he would make sure that she wanted it. He didn't want her to regret it because he didn't want to hurt her.

He wasn't really aware of thoughts such as these. It frightened him slightly that he had time to think these over. These became more and more frequent after Serena had actually left, making the three of them alone. But Nate was soon to follow with his annoying brooding and before he knew it, Chuck realized that he knew Blair as well as a best friend should. Better than Serena because like she ever gave a damn.

It was because of this that Chuck would find himself privy to Blair's room without a second glance from the maid. He was trusted in a girl's room and that was an experience he never had in his life. Even Eleanor accepted him (when she wasn't having a break down or getting plastic surgery.) There was something empowering in that. Which made him just all the more guilty when he began to check her out all the more.

Nate wasn't doing the job and Chuck was all but willing to pick up the pieces. He knew he could never because Blair was indeed his friend and Nate was also his friend. But he knew if she ever wanted it, ever asked for it, ever _went_ for it, he would not be able to resist. And that was a fact.

So for now he would just make sure she was alright. He wasn't looking for a weakness so he could take advantage of her or anything. He just... wanted to take care of her. It sounded maternal or maybe he had a complex or something, but he just couldn't stand to see her hurt. Even if it was by his best friend.

Those were the reasons he could be in her room. He would let her drink away her pain but with his supervision, so she wouldn't go and hurt herself. And even when she did, he would hold back her hair. No one else would and he just couldn't leave her alone. He didn't know why, but leaving her seemed like the worst possible alternative and he just wouldn't do it. Not ever.

However, there were those times when would get there too late. He had trailed her from bar to bar. It had surprised him that no one had been noticing her Serena-esque lifestyle, but really, the selfishness of Upper East Siders never really could surprise him either.

It was when she locked herself in the bathroom throwing her guts up that Chuck couldn't help her. He took small solace in the fact that it wasn't intentional, but he still pounded on the door.

She didn't want him there. He wasn't sure if she ever did. He wasn't even sure what this strange pull towards her was for him, but he still followed it. He didn't want to know what would happen if he didn't.

It was during times like these where he would slide towards the floor and pull out the book that he had found years ago. At the time, it was just good natured drinking with no self deprecation involved. She found him sneaking looks and had berated him with it for invading her privacy.

It was considerably thicker now though she claimed wholeheartedly that she didn't even remember keeping it. It was the soft sound of the door opening while he flipped absentmindedly through the pages that made him think that she already knew of this little hobby.

Her proximity was proven by her gentle scent as she took a seat next to him.

"You're not supposed to be looking at that," she said in her worn-out voice.

"And you're not supposed to be locking yourself in your bathroom anymore, but I'm staying quiet about it," Chuck replied, noting silently a page that had been raggedly ripped out.

"You weren't quiet when you were trying to beat down my door," she retorted.

"Forgive me if I didn't want to clean up your corpse after you choke on your own vomit," Chuck replied coldly.

"I'm pretty sure that's what the coroner is for."

This caused him to look up with a smirk. The side of her head was leaning against her bed as she looked upon him with her pretty eyes. It was the dark humor that no one knew she possessed that made Chuck feel even closer to her. It was the same pull he felt when she would destroy socialite girls and sneer at him with witty comebacks.

That didn't mean he approved.

"I thought you didn't remember having this," Chuck drawled, tracing the ragged edges of the missing page. She pulled it from his lap.

"I have no use for it anymore," she said, though looking at it with longing.

"He'll come around," Chuck said, glad she was the only one who heard him during moments like these. It would just ruin his rep.

Blair snorted.

"You'll probably miss the Cotillion Page when it comes around again," Chuck mused.

"I told you to stop going through my things," Blair seethed, annoyed that he was aware that it was the page dedicated solely to the Debutante Ball which she had disposed of.

"When you're tearing yourself apart in there, there's really nothing else for me to do but invade your privacy," Chuck deadpanned.

"I'm putting a lock on my drawers," Blair muttered.

"Don't bother," Chuck said. "I've already been through years 11-14 of your diary."

She smacked him with the scrapbook lightly.

"And you shouldn't be worrying about your missing La Perlas. They're in a safe place."

He didn't miss the small smile that seemed to be shining through more and more. He told himself it wasn't because of him. It couldn't be. She was too good. And he just... wasn't. Even if at times like these, he wanted to suspend his disbelief, if only for a little while.

"He'd be a fool to stay away for too long," Chuck finished as she cast him a wry look. "Don't frown so much, Waldorf. You'll get wrinkles."

She grinned mockingly at him but at least she rewarded him with a smile.

"And if its any consolation, I can always be your safety net," Chuck said quietly so she had the opportunity to pretend she didn't hear if she wished.

"Don't you have some bitch from Chapin to take to Cotillion?" Blair asked dryly.

"She could be forsaken for you," he said smoothly. "You're worth it."

"I've heard so many lines, I don't know if I can ever believe them again."

"You can," Chuck said, "because for the first time, I actually mean them."

"I'm sure your hookers will be deeply offended," Blair rolled her eyes.

"They'll get over it," Chuck shrugged.

In retrospect, it was a deal he shouldn't have made. Because even though he technically was a safety net for Cotillion, by that time, he hadn't expected himself to care.

**Perfect**

_Chuck, I can't believe I'm saying this, but that was really sweet._

_I just wanted to make sure she had the perfect night._

Perfection was never really fair. At least in Chuck Bass's experience. To those it was bestowed upon, no one could really see it and it was also rewarded to those who didn't quite deserve it. That was the way it was in other people's eyes.

Chuck's opinion, however, only held true to one person. There was only one person he thought deserved the mantel. No one ever really saw her.

He was tired of seeing her cry because of him. Not technically over him because that's exactly what she was: Over him. She and Nate would be together forever. They would have the society wedding and the pretty children. (And he definitely wasn't thinking about what little darked haired beautiful children with slanting eyes would look like.) They would be happy in a way that he could never make her and he would be forced to watch it.

By the time she scattered from The Russian Tea Room with tears in her eyes from his once again cruel words, he had made a decision. It was exactly as he had relayed to Serena (though he was having second thoughts on that person that heard.)

_I love her. And I can't make her happy._

He couldn't make her happy. At least, when _he_ got what he wanted this would not be a possibility. If he could see her easily breathing by his side after the moans and screams had ceased, she wouldn't be happy. Eventually, he would do something to hurt her again and he really couldn't live with himself if that happened.

He could make her happy. He would let the golden couple have their days(s) if only to make her happy. Because that was the only way he could ever make it happen.

She didn't need it. He knew that since the beginning. She didn't need mother's approval and boyfriend's attention. She held the rapt attention of the entire debutante population of the Upper East Side without even flinching. She was dethroned twice and had a crown to prove it. Even after "election fraud" which he dutifully apprehended, she was still a glittering diamond (Tiffany's, thank you very much) on the arm of someone who (still) didn't even realize what he possessed. He was closer to knowing than before but there was only one person who had that true knowledge.

"I'll be taking those, thank you."

Nelly Yuki's hand hovered over the mahogany box as she froze at the sound of his voice. Most of them did. She turned, sliding her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. Chuck snatched the ballots from her hands before inspecting them.

"It's a little self serving, don't you think?" Chuck drawled. She still said nothing. "Personally, I figured Penelope would have been the one to nominate herself. It would have been more believable."

"If not more obvious," Nelly Yuki said, gathering courage in a breath.

"So you so selflessly threw your name into the ring," Chuck nodded.

"Why do you care?" Nelly Yuki asked suddenly.

"My motives remain, as always, a mystery," Chuck said, taking the box with him. It would be more fun this way, to surprise them. He grabbed the stack of blank ballots and scribbled his votes for the true Prom Queen. He was lucky to have finished after taking the fake ballots out when he felt the grip on his wrist.

He would recognize that signature perfume from anywhere. For a moment he was afraid he was found out before he saw the ballots being counted. He was safe. If not from everything.

"How could you?" Blair asked in a hushed whisper. He looked at his shoes, not able to take the hurt and disappointment in her eyes. He never gave her an answer and that was when she started screaming. She had wanted an answer. She even wanted him to lie to her so she wouldn't have to make herself hate him. But as always, it was better that she hated him than be unhappy.

So as that crown glittered on her head, he knew that she was where she was meant to be, even if it was on the arm of the wrong person. Whatever he did, he did for her. He would make herself believe she was perfect because that was what she was. Even if she didn't believe it for real, she would acknowledge it, at least for a little while.

_Aw, who knew the MotherChucker could also play Fairy Godmother? But if C just made B's dreams come true, why does it feel like our queen is standing with the wrong king?_


	71. The Goodbye Gossip Girl Part I

**A/N**: Just realized that this is the last episode of S2. Sadsies. And one of the longer installments of chapters per episode along with Summer Kind of Wonderful. Be excited! I have to say that this was my favorite episode to write.

**Summary**: There was the Chuck Bass she knew. The Chuck Bass that she was positive was in love with her best friend and had bouts of poisonous jealousy. And he was glaring at her right now

**Disclaimer**: Quotes and characters all belong to GG.

**

* * *

****First Blast**

_She has plagued you more than anyone. You were her first blast. 9th grade if I remember correctly? It involved a white dress and rain and a recently docked aircraft carrier._

Blair loved her best friend. Serena was her sister and everything a best friend could want. It had always been like this. She had to compete with Serena for Nate's and even her mother's attention. But it was that night during freshman year that Blair's world had turned around. But it was something else. Something else had come around as well. It was when she realized that there was someone whose attention she didn't have to compete for. Not that she necessarily wanted it.

"She is a beauty," he remarked in her ear from the gazebo. Instinctively, Blair pushed Chuck away. They had been on this horrendous trip during spring break for a whole two hours and she wanted to blow her brains out.

And it all had to do with one Serena Van der Woodsen.

"Tall, blonde, leggy," Chuck sighed, taking a seat beside her. "A dream come true. If you're into that sort of thing."

"Who wouldn't?" Blair muttered to herself. He heard her.

"Personally?" he asked. "I am more attracted to brunettes."

Blair turned slowly to see his vile smirk that let her know what he was imagining her doing. He was so gross.

"I don't really know what he sees in her," Chuck continued.

"Who?" Blair asked, though knowing what he was about to say.

"Nate."

"Nate is my boyfriend," Blair snapped. "He doesn't want her."

"If you say so, Waldorf," he said, his lip curling humorously. "But if I were you, I wouldn't worry about Serena for so long. She'll get what she deserves."

"And what makes you say that?" Blair asked, crossing her arms over her chest petulantly.

"_Serena_!"

"Oh," Chuck said, looking at his Rolex. "Right on schedule."

Blair looked to see Serena pausing at the call.

"What is?" Blair asked hesitantly. Suddenly she heard a whirring noise.

"That's strange," Chuck said all too innocently as water rained down on the party goers. "The sprinklers seem to be malfunctioning."

It didn't take long for the masculine yells to get louder. Soon a young man was running across the lawn and Serena was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't long before she made herself known and the now soaked through white dress.

"You're disgusting," Blair sneered, hating that it was always Serena. It was always, always Serena.

"Me?" Chuck asked as though horrified. "What makes you think I did it?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Blair asked.

"All I know is the air carrier landed today and one of Serena's jilted lovers came by for the party," Chuck said. "How was I to know that she would be completely humiliated?"

Blair only studied him for a moment before saying, "you have the worst sense of logic."

"You'll thank me later," Chuck said assuredly, leaning close to her while she rolled her eyes. "And I have some suggestions as to how to do so."

For the first time, Blair let herself laugh. Chuck was creepy and weird. But he made her laugh. Which was slightly strange. The only thing that could make this strange new feeling was when actual rang descended from the skies. She opened her mouth in confusion, but at Chuck's smug look, she decided not to. The fact that it had started to rain would only be replied with a simple _I'm Chuck Bass_.

Luckily they were under the sheltered roof as she started as she felt her phone vibrate. She flipped open to read the text.

"What's... Gossip Girl?" Blair read.

"Let me see," Chuck said impatiently, taking her phone. He smirked at Serena's new found Internet celebrity. "I don't know. But I think this will be fun."

**Heart to Heart**

_Does he even know you and Nate broke up?_

_Have you not told him?_

_It's not like we stay up at night, braiding each other's hair and having heart to hearts._

They were like passing ships in the night and Serena wasn't really sure why she was the one meant to witness it hitting the iceberg and crashing. But Blair's warmth against her body had long dissipated. She just didn't think that Chuck was still here. She didn't want the only other one to know about the once and for all end of the reign of Queen B and King N. She definitely didn't want to be the one who told Chuck.

"I thought you left."

Chuck pivoted on the sidewalk to take in his step sister huddling against the spring chill on the steps.

"I had to disentangle myself," he replied vaguely, walking up the steps towards her.

"That's cryptic."

"Some girls think taking them to Prom means we're betrothed or something," he drawled, looking out at the crowd almost in comical paranoia.

"I wonder what she sees in you," Serena couldn't help but mutter under her breath. She just wished that Chuck didn't have the ears of a hawk.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied quickly. "Just that... Nate just left. If you were wondering."

"To go to The Plaza," Chuck nodded his head slowly. "You did give them the key, right?"

Serena cringed inwardly. Of course she didn't. And of course they wouldn't be doing that. Especially since Blair had just split them up for good. But then again, it wasn't like she was going to enlighten Chuck to this. He was always unpredictable and Serena didn't want to be witness to that.

"Of course," she said instead. He narrowed his eyes. He knew she was lying. He took a seat next to her and Serena decided to pretend it wasn't exactly where Blair was two minutes ago. They were complicated that way.

"Is there something else?" he tested.

"Maybe," Serena said uncomfortably. "...No."

She looked innocently back up at him.

"That would work one anyone who hasn't known you their whole life," Chuck rolled his eyes.

"You know who else you've known your whole life?" Serena tested. His brows knitted and she knew she was getting too close.

"What are you saying?" he asked.

"I was just wondering if you've seen Blair tonight."

"You mean when she was screaming at me or after she got her crown?" he asked.

"After."

He was glowering again and she knew her best friend would be much better at this. That wasn't quite possible, though. Not yet.

"I wanted to keep my stomach from turning," he said darkly. There was the Chuck Bass she knew. The Chuck Bass that she was positive was in love with her best friend and had bouts of poisonous jealousy. And he was glaring at her right now.

"So you didn't want to just make sure she had the perfect night?" Serena asked sweetly.

"As much as I would love to continue having a heart to heart and start braiding each other's hair..." he sneered, "I have better things to do."

"Like pine after Blair?" Serena asked, standing with him.

"Like get infinitely drunk so I don't have to hear you talk about this anymore," Chuck said in annoyance, leaving her in deference to his limo.

So a heart to heart was out. But it wasn't like he could hide for long. The break-up would catch up with him sooner or later. And then he really would have to access that heart that he kept hidden so well.


	72. The Goodbye Gossip Girl Part II

**A/N**: I have to say that I just loved writing this episode. It was so fun and there were so many good quotes. Some of them were a stretch but I just had to put in what happened after Chuck found out that Blair and Nate broke up. I do a couple vignettes on the night of Nate's graduation party and you'll notice that they're out of order. That's just how it turned out. Its supposed to be like that.

**Summary**: He usually calculated it to the syllable but whenever he looked at her now, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to hear the truth from her. He wanted to know that she and Nate were done for good

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to the awesomeness that is GG.

* * *

**Broken**

_Have you seen your girlfriend?_

_You don't know?_

_What?_

_Blair and I broke up._

Chuck was just glad that he was an expert at keeping his indifferent mask in place. He was also glad that it was Nate who was Blair's boyfriend (oh wait, _ex_) and not someone who was actually observant. That didn't stop the fact that he was still looking for her.

It was when he pushed the door open to Serena's room that he felt sickened. There was just something in the air and he knew she was wrong. There was something wrong and he was glad he was looking for her if only on the pretense that they needed to bring down Gossip Girl. It was selfish but he didn't think he could take the disappointment and disgust in Blair's eyes if she found out what outer borough he had metaphorically spent time in. Twice. (Shudder.)

His insides squirmed at the sound of her tears. For a horrific moment, he thought that this had something to do with the break-up that could have happened this very day for all he knew. Then again, when it came to the tough decisions, it was always Blair who pulled through. She ripped the rug out from underneath Nathaniel when he couldn't tell her that he loved her. And it lead her exactly to where she was meant to be. It wouldn't have surprised him if she dumped him in the middle of Prom.

He watched her start as the door closed behind him. She turned away from the mirror, hastily wiping the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, as though on reflex. "I didn't..." He started to turn away before she caught his hand.

"Don't go," she said in her shaky voice. It was so quiet he was sure he didn't hear it at first. "Please."

How could he say no to that?

"Blair..."

This wasn't really what he had in mind. His plan had gone from a Gossip Girl vendetta to... He didn't even know what he was going to say. He usually calculated it to the syllable but whenever he looked at her now, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to hear the truth from her. He wanted to know that she and Nate were done for good. He wanted to know why.

He wanted to hear it was because of him.

But that wasn't what ended up spilling from his mouth.

"Are you alright?"

God, he was such a Humphrey. Of course she wasn't, but he hated seeing those far too familiar wells of tears in her eyes.

"My father isn't here," she said with a bitter laugh. "Did you know that?"

"Neither is mine," he smirked. She gauged his reaction and decided it was okay that she laugh a little.

"He hates me."

"Impossible," Chuck said automatically. How could anyone hate her? Even at his worst, he had never hated her. Even when he slurred at her angrily or threw her words of love back in her face, he had never hated her. He was just afraid. Probably like she was right now.

Blair shook her head. "Last time he was here... He was pretty specific on his feelings towards me."

"What happened?" Chuck asked.

"I was..." Blair said, searching for words. "Being me. He saw it and he didn't like it. Scheming isn't something I can just stop. I guess he just hates the real me."

"He could never hate you," Chuck said. "He's just..."

"Disappointed," Blair supplied. "I get that enough from my mother, I don't need it from him."

"Even if he is disappointed, it doesn't mean he hates you. He couldn't," Chuck replied. "If there's anything that I've learned... It's that just because your father is disappointed, it doesn't mean he hates you."

"And who taught you that?"

She was back to teasing him. He was glad this wasn't about Nate and he was even more glad that he was the one to bring that smile out. And it was at the smile that he couldn't help but say what was on his mind.

"I heard about you and Nate."

Her expression was unreadable. "How?"

"Him."

"And?" she asked. He narrowed his eyes. It wasn't her who was supposed to be testing him. She had all the power. It wasn't fair. Then again, he couldn't really remember when he was ever fair to her.

"I don't know," he smirked. He liked making her smile. He couldn't believe that he was acting so nervous. Like the nervous 16 year old who got sick because he didn't know what butterflies were.

He hadn't changed much.

"Thank you," she said, taking his hand in hers. He stared down and it occurred to him that this wasn't the first time that they had held hands. They had it in them to do it all along. That made him wonder what else they could have done all along.

"I didn't..." Chuck said uncomfortably.

"For being here," she said, looking down. "For me. You do that."

"Right."

Things were getting steadily more awkward.

"Turn around."

That would change it.

"I had no idea you wanted me that much?" he leered.

"I came up here to get changed," she said coolly, pointing to Serena's bed that had an outfit across it.

"Oh," he said confidently. "Then I'm just in time."

"Just hand it over, Bass."

He knew she only really smiled when she was with him.

He picked it up and passed it to her.

"Just turn around," she said with that smirk that matched his. She wasn't asking him to leave which was confusing...and sort of hot at the same time. But now she knew that he knew that she and Nate weren't together anymore. She was sending him code and he knew it. That didn't stop from his heart hammering in his chest from the possibilities. This could happen for real. And it was the first time that he was ready. That they were ready.

Together. At the same time.

He turned as per her request, listening to the rustle of clothing. He was so taken aback he had forgotten to say she looked perfect in anything. But he was going to take this opportunity as it was. He was suddenly glad that Blair didn't notice he happened to be facing a mirror and she happened to be right behind him.

Or maybe she did.

She was more of a minx than he thought.

"How do I look?"

He turned. She was smoothing the new dress around her form. He couldn't form a coherent thought at the moment. That brief time she stood in a slip behind him reflected only made him think of what she would look like without it. He couldn't make his mind backtrack.

"Perfect, as always," he managed. "But..."

"I know," she said, scrutinizing her reflection. "Nothing seems right."

"No," he said instead. It hurt him that she was so insecure about herself. She was beautiful. "I was going to say I liked the other one better. You should always stick with your instincts."

She gave him that secret smile and Chuck couldn't help but think how much his best friend would probably hate him right now even though they had broken up. Nathaniel had a habit of throwing him against the hoods of parked cars. He remembered all too well.

Then again, Chuck would have been mad if Nate was thinking of succumbing to certain sinful desires if their places were switched.

Luckily for him, they weren't.

"Thank you," she said again. "Then I'm going to get changed."

"I'm not stopping you," he said cheekily.

"Am I going to have to kick you out?" Blair asked, her playfulness back in place. Chuck sighed dramatically but turned anyway. It wasn't like he was going to get a view.

At least today.

"So," Blair said and Chuck allowed himself to turn after she changed back into her original clothing. He gave her a smile of appreciation. "Are you going to Nate's party tonight?"

Tonight, however, was a different story.

"Yes," Chuck managed to choke out. They were obviously both going but it was also obvious where this was heading. It was heading in the direction that hadn't been able to stop since two days before her 17th birthday. And it was never going to stop.

"Good," Blair said, shouldering past him. "Let's go."

He followed her. He always followed her.

**Hash**

_What's in the bag?_

_Something I found in Chuck's room._

_Well then I bet it's good._

"What are you doing?"

Lily froze at her son's incredulous tone. She knew she was in trouble. Then again, she never claimed to be a good mother. Especially to a son she only had in the past year. She stood up from the drawers as Chuck leaned in his own doorway, his arms folded across his broad chest.

"Charles," Lily said brightly. "Heading out?"

"I was..." he drawled, looking at her particular predicament near his Debauchery Drawer. "Serena's waiting."

"Well you wouldn't want to keep her."

Sometimes, he was in awe at how not subtle the matriarch of the Van der Woodsens could be. And she better get the hell away from the Debauchery Drawer.

"Is there something I can help you with," he asked, "or am I being audited now?"

"Of course not," Lily said in surprise.

"Really?" he asked. "Because I was under the impression that I was still a member of this house, despite the patriarch of the Basses being deceased and all. Please, tell me if that has changed."

"I was just..." Lily said uncomfortably. It sometimes astounded her at Chuck's indifference. He really was a Bass. But just because Lily lacked in subtlety didn't mean she was completely blind. Even at graduation, she saw the looks he was giving. And getting. "You look handsome tonight."

Chuck's distinguished brows knitted. He knew she was changing the subject but that didn't stop him from being incredibly intrigued.

"Thanks," he said, unsure of himself.

"I am positive that Blair will appreciate it."

"And why would you think that?" Chuck asked gruffly. Lily sighed and straightened his bow tie.

"Why was it that you took half an hour longer than Serena to get dressed?" Lily asked brightly.

"Touché," Chuck murmured.

"If you want to be with her," Lily said, "give her what she wants. If she doesn't think your feelings are genuine, make her realize that they are."

Chuck looked on the floor, uncomfortable.

"You're not the one in the precarious situation. You already know how she feels for you."

"She says that," he said. "But she still went with Nathaniel."

"And what do you think she felt when you rebuked her?" Lily asked kindly. "Tell her how you feel."

"I don't know what I would do... if this didn't... happen," he said in an uncharacteristic moment of reality.

"Tell her," Lily smiled. Chuck shared it.

It only last for a split second.

"This never happened," he said sternly. She covered a laugh. He really was one of a kind. He pivoted in the doorway and went to see Serena.

"Lily."

She looked up.

"Thanks."

He was aware that she was still in his room.

"And the hash in the bottom drawer on the left."

He was gone from the doorway when she found it.

So her son did have a heart.

And some killer hash.

**Dressing for Love**

_Are you dressing for someone?_

_Yes. Someone I hope is ready to love me the way Cyrus loves you._

Chuck didn't get nervous. But if he was being completely honest with himself, she always took him by surprise. That didn't mean he permitted his step sister to do the same.

"Still primping?"

Chuck turned in annoyance from him straightening his bow tie in the mirror to face her.

"I do not _primp_," he sneered.

"Oh, really?" Serena asked, leaning in his doorway. From here, he could see into her room. It seemed so long ago when that room was filled with candles and a girl with a flimsy slip that came off with just a twitch of his fingers. He still wasn't registering what could very well be happening in just a few short hours. What would happen when he would walk into that party tonight and she would just be standing there, only having eyes for him.

That was why he didn't fantasize. It was really feminine and it also led to dirty thoughts that led to disappointments when she would flounce away from him.

But not tonight. Not ever again.

"Then how come I've been ready for over a half an hour already?"

"Just because your idea of getting ready doesn't even consist of using a hair brush, doesn't mean I am the same," he said, annoyed that he was so... annoyingly transparent. He hated it when he was like that. It just caused moments of flashbacks of lords and his only triumph was pointing out how Blair did love the limo. His limo. He could make that into a euphemism if he wanted.

"Well I'm waiting on you," Serena rolled her eyes.

"Why?" Chuck asked, suddenly suspicious.

"We are going to the same place," Serena said in that condescending way that she did.

"I just thought you would be going..." Chuck broke that off immediately at Serena's triumphant smile.

"With Blair?"

"You and I aren't really the bonded ones of this family," Chuck said, trying to change the subject.

"I'm not going with Blair, if you were wondering," Serena said with a sweet smile.

"I wasn't," Chuck said sternly but judging by her face, Serena knew different. That didn't mean he still wasn't curious. "I just thought she was going." Serena smiled at his attempt at nonchalance. He was so cute when he was in love. With her best friend (ew.)

"Don't worry," she said. "Blair's coming a little bit later."

"Why?" Chuck asked, not able to help himself. He wasn't sure of he could stand Serena for much longer.

"She's just taking a little bit longer to get ready," Serena provided. "She said she'd met us there."

"Us?" Chuck asked. He was still playing dumb at this point.

"You are still planning on attending, aren't you?" Serena asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just making sure," Serena said. "Since we will be sharing the limo and all."

"Whatever," Chuck shrugged, going to pass her in the doorway.

"Are you sure you're done?" Serena asked. "You know Blair does like a well made man."

"Shut up," Chuck said in annoyance, shoulder past her. Serena's light laughter followed him. He was glad that Serena wasn't bringing Blair with them. He needed time to mentally prepare. And the fact that Serena noticed meant something. It meant to Blair was feeling the same way.


	73. The Goodbye Gossip Girl Part III

**A/N**: The middle drabble is a new format. There was something (that Chuck said of course) and I just had to include it. It breaks up what he's saying so there are three seperate drabbles for it so its kinda long. But putting it all together still counts as one. It'll make sense when you read it. (Just one more chapter after this until the end.) The first drabble is actually connected to a previous one in a sequence of events. I hope that's clear enough. The last drabble is the end to the Jack Trilogy or what happened on New Years. Enjoy.

**Summary**: Now he actually did know what it was like to feel her comfort against him. And now he was addicted to it. Now he wanted it all the time. Now, he salivated for her. And that was just pathetic.

**Disclaimer**: Quotes belong to epic GG that has just became epic again.

**

* * *

**

**Feelings**

_Cyrus told me. You told Chuck how you felt and he ran away._

She pretended not to hear her only daughter's wracking sobs in the night. It had been a week since the wedding. Seven days and Blair had cried during every one. It was only in the night when she thought that no one was listening.

Eleanor pretended not to know. It was easier that way. It wasn't that she didn't care about her breaking daughter or just didn't notice. It hurt. She could tell Blair was hurting and she knew she couldn't do anything about it. More over, she couldn't figure as to why. But she did figure it had something to do with the fact that Blair had snuck up the stairs after the ceremony never to return. And probably that boy that had crept down the staircase in the middle of the night.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

Chuck's head snapped up to look into the dark orbs that were so similar to the ones that belonged to the girl he loved. His eyes narrowed.

"I was arrogant to think that I ever did."

"Not with my daughter," Eleanor said coolly, rising from the chaise she had been seated on. "I hope you know what you're doing with_out _my daughter. I hope you know the events that will unfold now that you're leaving her."

"I didn't..." Chuck said. "We didn't..."

"I'm not ignorant to think that my daughter still has her virtue instilled in her. That innocence was taken away long ago."

Chuck looked down as though he had the propensity to be embarrassed. That was surprising.

"You think you could just leave her?" Eleanor pressed. "You think she would let you?"

"She's asleep," Chuck mumbled.

"A classic, to be sure," Eleanor said shortly. She had to protect her beautiful daughter who was being torn apart without even realizing it. "Leaving her while she's not even conscious."

"She doesn't deserve this," Chuck said. "She deserves better. She doesn't deserve someone who's falling apart. She deserves someone who can take care of her."

"I think we both know that Blair doesn't need anyone to take care of her."

"You know her better than she thinks you do," Chuck said, taking his limited time to look at her curiously.

"I love my daughter. She may not think it, but it is at times like these where I need to protect her."

He got the message.

"Then go upstairs," Chuck said, almost tauntingly. Eleanor realized why her daughter fell for him. She didn't know Blair had a weakness for the tortured ones, but she did know what it was like to want to take care of someone. And she knew that Chuck Bass was exactly like her daughter. "Tell her that I'm gone. Stop me."

For a moment, Eleanor thought it was what he wanted. He wanted to be stopped. He wanted to go back to Blair's arms and let her take care of him. But it wasn't going to work out like that, no matter how much it hurt her to see her daughter hurting. How she would be hurting.

Chuck shook his head. "I will destroy her."

"What did you say to her?" Eleanor asked.

"What?" Chuck asked, still in the haze of his sorrow.

"I was wondering what you might have said to her to make her break down in my husband's arms."

Chuck's features hardened as he clenched his jaw.

"I would have said it back if I could."

Eleanor stared after him in confusion as he went to the elevator.

"She won't give up," Eleanor advised him. "She won't give up on you."

The elevator dinged as he stepped into it.

"Well she should."

And he was gone.

Now all she could hear were her daughter's cries the following week. She knew it had to do with the boy who would constantly continue to break her heart. And there was nothing Eleanor could do to shelter her from that.

It was hard to love a powerful man. It was hard to love someone so like yourself that it was like fighting fire with fire. Eleanor had never felt the experience but she could see the loss and confusion. She could see the emptiness in her eyes when Blair would come out of her room only to eat the little that she was forced to.

And it wasn't like she didn't hear the retching in the bathroom late at night. She could still hear the despair when Blair didn't think anyone was listening.

"What happened?" Eleanor couldn't help but ask. Cyrus looked at her kindly and she knew he knew something that she didn't.

"He's gone," he said. "Chuck left and now she's lost." Eleanor looked up to the ceiling where sorrow seeped down on them in waves.

"I deduced as much," Eleanor said. "That doesn't mean that he doesn't care about her."

"He does," Cyrus nodded. "But he didn't tell her that. He didn't tell her anything. He just ran off."

"He didn't tell her anything, when?" Eleanor pressed.

"Blair told Chuck that she loved him," Cyrus finally said. "She said she loved him and now he's gone."

"He'll come back for her," Eleanor replied. "He must."

"We can only hope."

"He feels the same way about her," Eleanor said. "I can see it."

"We all can," Cyrus replied.

Eleanor didn't hear the soft footsteps.

"Blair," Cyrus said in relief. They both knew she was barely holding herself together. Eleanor's heart fell when she saw her daughter in the foyer. She was wearing make-up for the first time and Eleanor really didn't approve of the dress she was wearing.

"Going somewhere?" Eleanor asked. Blair raised and eyebrow. Eleanor was aware of the absence in her daughter's life. She couldn't pretend to be a parent right now. She couldn't reign in the train wreck that he become her daughter.

"I'm going out," Blair said cryptically, before pressing the button for the elevator.

"With Serena?" Eleanor couldn't help but ask hopefully.

"Serena's in Buenos Aires," Blair replied dryly. Eleanor could hear the disdain in her voice. It only made sense that this was happening. It seemed that everyone was abandoning her, so much like before.

"When will you be back?" Eleanor asked.

"Eventually," Blair said and the doors closed behind her. If only Eleanor had realized that eventually was at a graduation party when both parties of that tragedy would finally face their feelings.

**Accessories**

_What do you think about my coat?_

_I like it. Why?_

_And now?_

_Ever better._

He never really admitted it to himself before, but Blair had a way about her that had always attracted him. It wasn't always in the tearing-her- clothes-off capacity, but she was just different. Soon that interest did, however, evolve completely when she stripped a dress from her body and her virginity along with it. It was that night where he realized it. Less was always more.

_**Headband**_

_And... what about my headband?_

_I ...admire it._

They were always together. Not in the sense that he wished were true when he watched her flounce off with her many suitors. But in a sense, they always had a sense of closeness. She would feign disgust at his suggestions, but he always knew that she was the only one who really understood it. She accepted him and he found that he did the same for her.

He understood her ambition. Sometimes he couldn't help but think if he would be any different if his father ever accepted him. But he liked it this way. They could have common ground. Nathaniel could never understand how she could be so cruel and Serena would just follow along because, really, that was all Serena was ever good for.

It happened in a blink of an eye. No one really saw it but when Chuck saw Blair seated on the Met steps with minions below her, he knew that was where she was meant to be.

And he admired her for it.

Soon they were all matching and Chuck knew that this had been her plan from the start. When she enlisted him for social destruction he had no idea there was a bigger plan involved. She passed him with girls that did everything they could to copy her and he couldn't help but admire her.

"What is that, some sort of oath of loyalty?"

With her minions out of earshot, Blair turned around at his snide remark, deigning him with a look of almost pity. Like it was cute that he was so ignorant. He just liked pushing her.

"No, it's my crown," she said with _duh_ in her voice.

"So, you gave them crowns too?" Chuck asked dubiously.

"_No_," Blair replied in annoyance.

"So, it's like an oath of loyalty," Chuck reiterated. Blair looked in thought for a moment and shot him another look.

"You think it's stupid," she assumed. "You hate it."

It took him a moment to get over the fact that she actually cared what he thought when she had her boyfriend so whipped already. It was pathetic.

"No," he said, surprised at his own voice. "I admire it."

It was whenever they passed in the hallway that he would give his nod of approval. It was then he knew he could trust her with her schemes.

_**Stockings**_

_And... my stockings?_

_Oh, I adore them._

Bare legs were overrated. That was what Chuck decided when the sudden trend of stockings happened upon the Upper East Side. That was the first time he saw Blair Waldorf in vibrant red tights and he realized he was truly a traitor. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be fantasizing about things that didn't belong to him. But that moment had come and gone because he was already approaching her as she sat perched on the stool in the dank bar, sipping a martini. She was his kind of girl. Always and forever. There was only one word he had for them.

Adoration.

And that was that.

At this point in his life, he was used to being tortured. He was tortured with visions of things that he couldn't have and he was becoming accustomed to that pain. But when he saw that girl sitting there, her curls in disarray, hanging around her face, he knew he had literally won the lottery (not that it would matter, because he could just buy the lottery.)

He took a seat next to her at the bar and he could already smell the gin. She did indulgence like no other. She tangled her fingers through her hair, leaning on her elbow to look at him.

"If you've come to gloat..." she warned.

"About what?" he asked softly, realizing that something worse had just happened. In ways that her boyfriend couldn't even conceive.

"You always love to see me suffer."

"I do find pain amusing when it's in others," he admitted. "But not you. I never would have asked your father to leave."

"You're behind the times, Bass," she said coldly.

"Or Serena."

"Still short," she said. Even in the bouts of drunkenness, she could still hold up conversations, which was commendable.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

There was no doubt in his mind what she was talking about. She raised her eyes, cold with fury. Before he realized what was happening, they were breaking before his eyes so he could see they shaking girl beneath.

"He never wanted me," she said at the bar top. "No one does."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that," he said. Without being able to stop himself, his hand slid easily to her tights. "May I say how ravishing you look in those stockings?"

"Are you doing this just make me feel better?" she asked dryly. But she put her hand on top of this. It held a sort of depravity that she thought him hitting crudely on his best friend's girlfriend was a compliment. This confused him, as much as her hand was confusing him.

"Is it working?" he asked, daring to move his hand farther up her thigh. She leaned in so her heady breath surrounded him.

"No," she said simply and hopped off the stool. Though her pretty sneer was directed at him, he knew better. She as no longer on the verge of tears and she had that strut back in her step that she only had when she knew someone was watching. And liked it.

"Whatever, Waldorf," he sighed. "Just try to find someone else who adores you as much as I do in those tights."

It was just a simple hair flick and then she was gone.

But there was no doubt in his mind that she was coming back.

_**Dress**_

_And my dress._

_I worship it._

Blair Waldorf was worshiped for her fashion. She shopped at Bendel's, Bergdorf's, and, of course, Tiffany's. But only in his wildest dreams had Chuck Bass even imagined what that high class silk would feel against his fingertips. He consorted in the Upper East Side, but usually he would just pick up women in bars after he plowed every girl in Constance and the surrounding prep schools. It was easier that way.

But now, he was screwed. And that was figurative and not literal which made him even more screwed. Now he actually did know what it was like to feel her comfort against him. And now he was addicted to it. Now he wanted it all the time. Now, he salivated for her. And that was just pathetic.

Now he wasn't chasing after every girl that even looked his way. Now he would just get jealous ever time some jock with a lacrosse stick (he was considering turning that into a euphemism) looked her way.

On this particular occasion, it was too much. He slunk out of the party, knowing that no matter how dull-minded Nathaniel was, it would become apparent sooner or later. Sooner or later, it would be obvious who he was really lusting after.

"Are you mad at me?"

He didn't expect her here. But then again, he was seriously beginning to doubt there was anything she could do that wouldn't be surprising. This wasn't the first time, after all.

"Would you care?" he asked, turning towards her. He really shouldn't have done that.

There she stood, in the doorway of his suite. She looked so disheveled, his first thought was to question who she had been sleeping with. But then she was walking towards him and he let himself think that maybe she only had eyes for him. The way he only had eyes for her.

"I don't like it when you're mad at me," she said as though it was a secret. He was also pretty sure if she took steps any longer than she was right now, she would fall. Hopefully right into his bed.

"When have I ever been mad at you?" he questioned.

"When you walked away tonight," she said with a deep breath like it was the hardest thing she had ever said, "I realized that I didn't like it."

"Well I don't like preppy jocks making time with you, but I find the ability to restrain myself."

"Really?" she asked, her lips curving in that sensual way. He knew he was done for. She took carefully measured steps and soon they were hip-to-hip. "Try restraining yourself now."

"Aren't we confident tonight," he murmured, all the while knowing she was completely right.

"I think it's this effect you have on me," she whispered sensuously in his ear.

"Is that so?" he asked, bringing his hand to her thigh encased in silk. He liked it.

"You just don't want me anymore," she said to his astonishment. "You're bored of me."

"How could you say that?" he asked incredulously.

"You walked away," she mused, never looking away from him. "My dress is ugly."

He really didn't like this whole demeaning herself thing. It was aggravating considering he wanted nothing more than to devour her right then and there.

"Actually..." he drawled, drawing her in. "I worship it."

There was something that he was unable to distinguish in her eyes. Something like desire. What he couldn't figure out was why she wanted him of all people. But he was going to grab this opportunity by the proverbial horns and not let go.

He watched as she slowly brought her hand to her zipper. It pooled at his feet and he was still in his state of what she usually resorted him to.

"How about now?" she asked breathily.

"Even better," he said. "I especially worship it when it's on my floor."

"I'm glad to know my fashion at least wins your approval."

"Blair," he said, not able to take his eyes off her lingerie. "Why did you come here?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Never."

"Prove it," she said simply. He crushed his lips against hers, for once realizing, maybe he wasn't doomed for unhappiness after all.

"**Comfort"**

_Jack, Blair? Really? _

_I was sad and he was trying to comfort me._

It was the first time she got out. Serena was gone and it wasn't like Nate knew what to do, or even cared. She was tired of her mother's pitying looks and Cyrus trying to comfort her because he knew the real reason she was crying her guts out.

She stumbled out of bed and looked at her reflection. Her make-up was barely tidy and she just didn't care. She walked passed Eleanor's worried glance at Cyrus. She hated the sound the elevator made. She couldn't help but think that was the exact sound it made when Chuck had finally walked out of her life for good.

Penelope always had the best New Year's Eve parties. There were drinks and promiscuity lurking in back rooms. It was what she needed to do to forget... Just forget everything.

"Blair," Penelope said in surprise as Blair walked through the loft. "I didn't think you were coming."

"Plans change," Blair said distantly, immediately scoping out the bar.

"Well Serena is in Buenos Aires, I just didn't..."

"Whatever," Blair said, shouldering past her. She took a seat, taking no attention to the man sitting next to her.

She should have.

Maybe she could have run.

"It always stokes my ego when a beautiful woman ignores me," came the confident tone.

She ignored the fact that there was something familiar about his voice.

"Gin and tonic," Blair said.

"A woman with taste."

She wasn't really sure what sort of taste he was talking about.

"Actually," she changed her mind. She was here to get drunk. "Tequila."

"Now I know you're doing that just to spite me."

"Do you need something?" she snapped, turning into her chair, finally facing him. His cold blue eyes bore into her and she knew he wasn't supposed to be here. He was old. Not really old, but too old to be here. Middle aged. This was a teenager party.

"Would I be too forward as to say _you_?" he smirked.

He smirked and Blair felt like vomiting.

"Would I be too forward as to kicking you so hard you can't reproduce?" she asked cruelly. That just encouraged him and again, she felt like vomiting. All over him.

"Have we met before?" he asked smarmily. Blair was having the worst sense of deja vu. "You would be doing the world a favor, anyway. Like the world needs another Bass around."

"Bass," Blair murmured.

Shit.

That _would_ just happen to her.

"Yes?" he smiled and she knew he knew exactly who she was. He was a predator and he was hunting her. How he knew she would be here was beyond her.

"You're Jack Bass."

"My reputation proceeds me," Jack said, extending his hand.

"No thanks," Blair said, wrinkling her nose, while accepting her drink. "I haven't had Hepatitis this far in my life and I don't plan on changing that."

"There are plenty of other ways you can catch it," he said. "Trust me."

Blair didn't answer, but simply rolled her eyes, taking a drink.

"You know this is a teenage party," he mused. "What are they doing serving drinks?"

"You're right," she said. "So what is an old man like you doing here?"

"You hit me where it hurts," Jack said. "Do you think maybe that's why he left?"

It was jarring so she took another shot.

"I've heard of you, you know," Jack enlightened her.

"As flattering as that is," Blair said, slamming the shot down, "it's a tune that's already been sung."

"By my nephew?" Jack asked. "I would assume that he would say something a little more original to get you into bed."

Blair's knuckles were white and she took another shot.

"As original as your pick-up lines?" she sneered. "Please."

"You really have some idol worship for him, don't you?" he asked.

"If it was your plan to come here, steal Chuck's inheritance and antagonize me," she said coldly, "I'm afraid you're only going to get two out of three. You don't scare me."

"With the stealing or the antagonizing?" he asked.

"Seeing as Chuck's not coming back probably both," she sighed, not letting her hurt shine through.

"You don't think he's coming back?" Jack asked.

"I know he isn't."

Before she could stop it, tears started running silently down her face and she realized she was a little more drunk than she realized. And he was a little more closer than he should be.

"He's not coming back," she whispered.

"So you're here drowning your sorrows in tequila," he said. "It's a cliché, but that's not to say it's not a classic."

"Maybe I got an upsetting phone call," she said in annoyance.

"From him?" Jack inquired. Blair scowled at him.

"Quite honestly, I came here to get drunk," she said with brutal honesty. "And you're sort of ruining that for me. So if you don't mind..."

She dismissed him with a flick of her hand.

"I am sorry," he said after a minute. "It wasn't my sole intention to come here and... _antagonize_ you."

_I really am sorry._

She wished Basses would stop apologizing to her.

"Just an underlying one?" Blair quipped. "Fine, what was your intention, then?"

She cringed at the hint of desperation in her voice. She was desperate and that was that. She wished Chuck was here and she was on some sort of road to self destruction that she couldn't stop now.

"Isn't it understandable that I feel the need to help a beautiful woman in distress?" he asked smoothly. It was a line. She knew it was. Years with Chuck by her side taught her that much. He protected her from predators by teaching her those lines so she knew to stay away from them.

But Chuck wasn't here right now. In a way, she wanted to punish him. So she let it be this way. She let herself be taken advantage of.

"He doesn't love me," she finally said, sullenly. Jack was watching her intently and all she could think of was how Chuck used to do the same. He used to listen to her and just... care.

So his eyes were an annoying shade of ice and not deep wells of darkness. So his hair was cut short and lined with gray. She could pretend. She could close her eyes and pretend. Because even though he wasn't the same, at least he was a Bass.

"It's loud in here," he commented.

"Yes," she agreed, knowing what the next lame line would be.

"Do you want to go somewhere quieter to talk?"

She didn't know what she was doing. But before she could stop herself, she was letting him help her down from her chair, his hand grasping hers. She ignored the fact that a Bass was finally holding her hand and let him guide her powerlessly towards the suites of the hotel.

The door closed behind her and she sat on the bed. She was glad she was full of behavioral modification. She was glad she was so numb she wouldn't be able to feel it. So she couldn't feel Chuck's betrayal either.

"Are you alright?"

He sounded actually concerned. She looked into his face and made a decision that created a chain of events that were horrifically real. She did it anyway. She did it for Chuck. She did it because despite the fact that she hated him so much, she really did love him.

"I don't think he ever loved me," Blair said, trying to separate herself from something that was coming and coming and coming.

"Then he's a fool," Jack said into her hair. She realized too late that he was on the bed with her and too late that he was two times the predator. And she was the one who was two times the fool.

His kiss was bitter. And wasn't sinful ignition that coursed through her veins. It was dirty and full with alcohol and that instinct to vomit just came back.

But she closed her eyes and she was with Chuck again. She kissed his smirk and pulled at his thick hair. This wasn't the same. It was dirty and she was stupid. Her eyes were closed the whole time and it was nothing like the real thing. It was only when his coarse breath hit her face was she able to pull herself away in time to reach the bathroom.

"He's not coming back."


	74. The Goodbye Gossip Girl Part IV

**A/N**: AHHHHHHHHHHH. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER FOR THIS FIC. Such a weird feeling since I've been working on this almost as long as I've been watching GG. For those of you who are still reading this and aren't completely over this fic, I'm so thankful for your support. When I started this, I honestly wasn't even thinking about how far this would go. From here on out, there are two options. This could literally be the end... or maybe not. I have gotten some feedback that some would like this to be continued. If I do continue this, it will be separate since there are like 80 chapters in this. If I continue to season 3, it will be a separate multil fic, and I'm not really thinking about season 4 yet, because I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I don't have season 3 so if this is continued it won't be for awhile. Probably next year (and by next year, I mean in three months.) Even if I do get season 3 that soon I write a lot before I submit. So its going to be awhile. Sorry for the ramble, but that's how it is. Hope you like the last chapter of this fic ever.

**Summary**: She fell out what she thought was love and into the depths of a searing passionate relationship that love was too weak a word for. She ruined everything for herself. She let him corrupt her. She let herself love him.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. All of this was due to the light of my life, Gossip Girl. I hope you ahd as much fun reading this as I had writing it.

* * *

**Consumption**

_Chuck Bass, I love you. I love you so much, it consumes me. I love you. And I know you love me too._

It hit her like a billion ton weight. One day she wasn't in love with Chuck Bass and the next she was. It wasn't idol worship (please) and it wasn't just infatuation (past that already.) She knew this because they weren't even in bed when it happened. That's how she knew. She wasn't in love with his body or the things it did to hers.

It was his laugh.

She was the only one who had really heard it. He laughed one day and that was when she fell for him. It made her throat go dry and her heart hammer against her ribs. She knew this would be her destruction and she found that she really didn't care.

Figures.

"What?" he asked, almost uneasy that she was looking at him.

"You laughed," she said blatantly.

"Well, yeah," Serena said with her own tinkling laugh. "He's not completely made of stone."

"What was the joke?" Blair asked distantly, trying to find herself. But her self was with his self and it definitely wasn't coming back.

"What's with you?" Chuck asked bluntly.

"Chuck," Serena reprimanded. They were in public so she couldn't address the fact that Chuck's eyes were burning the side of Blair's face. And the fact that she didn't approve.

"There is no joke," Chuck almost whispered and suddenly Serena was gone. All that remained were his burning eyes and Blair knew she had to get him alone.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Blair announced.

Chuck was obviously on the same page when he followed suit, despite Serena's appalled eyes.

"What are you-"

Before Chuck could finish, Blair had pressed him against the closed door of the party with fervor. She broke away, pleased at his heavy breathing. But that wasn't it. That wasn't what she wanted to know. He was looking at her with adoration and Blair just needed the truth. She knew she was privileged to have that look. She wanted to know more.

"What?" he asked, not able to stop the lusty smirk of his face.

"I want you to take me home with you," she said breathlessly. His face was all the more pleasing to her when he looked at her with surprise. Suddenly his hands were seeking skin under clothes and she was sure her breath had vanished.

"The things you do to me, Waldorf," he murmured heatedly into her hair finally.

"What is it?" she asked, catching him staring at her.

"You've never asked me that before," he said smugly. "I've always chased you."

"I guess the roles are reversed now," she replied, nails digging into his clothing.

"Trust me," he said, pulling her out of the door. "I'm not complaining."

"Do you want me all the time?" she asked, the leather of the limo feeling more than familiar and comfortable.

"Always."

"I think I'm beginning to want you too much," she confided in him, feeling it pull to a halt.

"I'm blanking on how that's a bad thing," he said, already starting to show signs of his deep arousal.

"I feel like I'm about to burst into flames," she admitted. His eyes deepened with want and for once, she thought maybe it wasn't just lust or chemistry. Maybe they kept coming together repeatedly like this for a reason.

"You'll have to wait until we get inside," Chuck said, pulling her along. He usually didn't have a problem with just taking her in the back of his car like any normal teenager. Tonight felt different. Something had changed and she didn't know what it was. But she was beginning to have an idea.

"Do you like it when I chase you?" Blair inquired as he kicked the door of his suite shut behind them, shrugging out of his shirt and attacking her skirt.

"You're making it very attractive," Chuck said, concentrating on disrobing her. She stilled his hands with hers and he looked at her.

"Then consume me," she commanded.

"Just what I was hoping for," he said, forcing her into his bed.

That night, she wasn't really sure of those words that came from her mouth. She said things and accomplished things that she never had before. She said things she didn't even know that she was feeling. She performed things that she didn't even know she had the capability of doing.

He enjoyed every minute of it.

It was at moments like those where she entertained preposterous thoughts. It was laying in those tousled sheets with his steady breathing against her skin that made her think things she had no business in thinking. She was thinking that maybe things actually did happen for a reason. Maybe Nate was just a detour because she felt things she hadn't even known were possible when she was with Chuck.

She thought that maybe she could really be happy with him. She thought that maybe she could actually captivate his attention long enough like she seemed to have the ability to do. She didn't know what it was, but when she was with him, she just became a different person. She was starting to think though, that she wasn't a different person at all. When she was with Chuck, she was really herself. She was the self that no one saw. No one was allowed to see or even really could see.

But he saw it. He saw everything. So for those brief moments, she allowed herself to think that she loved him. It was possible in this limbo of perfection where he was better to her and for her than anyone ever had been. It was at those moments where she was sure she was hallucinating.

It was during those times when she was starting to drift of to sleep with the now familiar scent of something indescribable that she heard it. She heard it once, not knowing what it was until it was too late.

_I think I'm in love with you, Waldorf._

Chuck Bass was in love with her.

Then again, it was probably just a dream.

But that didn't explain why every time he looked at her, she had the strangest feeling that he loved her as much as she was finding that she loved him.

**Anne Boleyn**

_Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So, her daughter Elizabeth made a vow to never marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you. But you can make them fear you._

In class, when they were reading "Henry VIII", Blair always liked Anne Boleyn. She was a misunderstood person, to be sure. Ambition like that wasn't really appreciated in this modern world. Anne Boleyn used what she had to get what she wanted. Blair could relate. That was probably why. Blair knew what it was like to have your head proverbially cut off for doing the wrong things when it came to sex.

It wasn't like Anne did anything wrong concerning that. Sex was why she was married. It was bearing the female child that introduced her to the ax. It wasn't concerning sex that Blair was dethroned either. That was the problem. One person introduced her to the pleasures and she was crucified for it.

Blair should have just thought of ambition. It would have been easier that way. If she just thought about marrying the Vanderbilt line with Cornelius' ring and Nate's confusion, she would have been fine. She would have been content with feigning love and reigning supreme queen over everyone. That would have been fine.

She got stupid, though. She fell out what she thought was love and into the depths of a searing passionate relationship that love was too weak a word for. She ruined everything for herself. She let him corrupt her. She let herself love him. She should have just kept her ambition in mind. Instead, she was soft and vulnerable underneath the armor that no one else was allowed or able to breach. She thought he loved her, if only for a little while. She hoped he did. Instead, she got her head chopped off. And he did it with the internet.

Blair never really saw Jenny as her successor. Jenny was weak and small minded. She didn't see the big picture. Then again, Blair failed at that as well. To be a stronger queen, you looked at your predecessors and avoided their mistakes. Blair didn't want her to be blamed for the failed monarchy. Jenny would learn. She would learn that the male race was your downfall and that was that. Jenny would learn.

She thought being cruel to Chuck would make it better. He didn't love her. Never had, never would. She wished she could change that. She could never change him but him loving her would be her redemption. But it just wasn't happening. Being cruel to him was second best. She couldn't command his respect. But at least she could command his acknowledgment.

It was the one thing she learned. Being powerful hadn't made him love her anymore. But it caught his attention for awhile.

For awhile.

Now he was gone.

And fear or love wasn't bringing him back.

**Europe**

_I was in Paris but only to get your favorite macaroons from Pierre Herme. _

_And Germany?_

_To pick up your favorite Falke stockings._

_What are you doing here, then?_

_You were right. I was a coward running away again. Everywhere I went, you caught up with me. I had to come back._

It was in Germany when he realized he was in trouble. Paris was all right and the brief period he was in other European countries, he could just pretend. Because he liked macaroons too... right?

However, buying _stockings_ was just something he couldn't avoid. There was in no way he was going to wear them himself and like hell he would get them for whatever Amsterdam Red Light District whores were just walking around (because that would be the one place he wasn't going to tell her that he went.)

His mind was already made up. He looked at the fabric that was so familiar to him and he realized who he had been shopping for all along and it wasn't fair.

He knew he was the one who wasn't being fair. Just hearing the syllable _Jack_ made him want to vomit. _Vanessa_ was cringe-worthy as well but including all of the pain he had put her through, he really did wonder what was making her stay.

Because she loved him.

That was the reason and he couldn't ignore it any longer. Before it was easy. He was drunk and she would parade around on his best friend's arm. How could someone love you if that was all they did?

But in instant everything changed, and changed again, and suddenly he was staring at this stupid box like it actually meant anything to him. This wasn't the first time he was losing his mind on this impromptu trip to forget some _girl_.

No, he was sure he had seen things that he couldn't have possibly seen. Like in Paris and Amsterdam. All of the hookers just seemed to look like her. And while being compared to a hooker may have not seemed wildly romantic, Chuck would have assumed that she would have just _got it_ because she _got him_ like how she got scheming could be wildly romantic when they ended up in the same bed together with his arm thrown across her waist.

In the end, that's all it was. She understood him like no one could, and really like no woman could. So he found himself idling in some Pierre Herme store without any recollection of walking there until he found himself on the street with some box gift wrapped.

He turned to his his reflection in the shop window and he froze when he saw that it wasn't just his own that was staring back at him with a blank look on his face.

Truthfully, that wasn't the first time he had seen Blair's apparition when he knew she was at home thankfully due to impeccable Gossip Girl updates. There would be someone in the male form in the background of those low quality pictures and his heart would thump uncomfortably. Because it wasn't like he wanted her anymore. She slept with his uncle and that was disgusting.

But then he kept coming back to it. He kept coming back to her words. It was just another excuse for them to not be together. And she wasn't doing it anymore. And what was he doing? Having so much fun in Europe that he would have to be quarantined? Not likely. He was sulking, trying to find meaning to what he was doing to find he was just in a trance for a week. And that wasn't working anymore. Because he was starting to hallucinate and that just wasn't right.

He was buying things in a daze until they were all laid out in the hotel's bedspread and he realized who they were really for. He ripped his tie from his neck and threw it in frustration across the room. He looked in the mirror one last time and wanted to laugh at himself.

The last time he thought Blair was in a foreign country when she wasn't was Thailand. But then he was drugged out of his mind and right now... Now he was having the most sobering effect that he had ever felt. It was as though she were telling him to come home to him right now because she wasn't going to be waiting much longer and what did he want to do, walking on her sexing up some guy in a crowded restaurant when it really should be him because she couldn't bear to be without him for three hours?

She was complicated. Even the hallucinations about her were confusing.

And there she was. Staring back at him from the mirror and he almost had a heart attack.

_So are you coming home yet or not?_ she asked in frustration. He was going to cut that off immediately because he was so not getting into his psychotic psyche at the moment. Bitch. The bitch he loved.

God damnit. He was already packed as he called the jet and without even realizing it, he was watching her strut down the Upper East Side in that lime green coat and realized what a sad existence it would be without her in it.

"Why aren't you in Europe?"

Her question was dry and blunt and he knew this was it. He was in love with her and he didn't care about the photos that were taken of them in the middle of the street with people staring.

_Why aren't you in Europe?_

He was going to spend the better part of eternity proving exactly why.

_I had to come back._

And it was going to start with the limo.

_That's it?_

Right where it began for them all along.

_I love you too._


End file.
